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1
00:00:00,930 --> 00:00:02,860
What are you reading, honey?
2
00:00:02,944 --> 00:00:05,686
Oh, this is a terrific book
on reincarnation.
3
00:00:05,769 --> 00:00:07,052
Hey, I ever tell you
about my Aunt Brenda
4
00:00:07,052 --> 00:00:08,887
who really believed
in reincarnation?
5
00:00:09,012 --> 00:00:10,875
[sighs] No, go ahead.
6
00:00:10,958 --> 00:00:12,901
Well, my Uncle Sidney
died about ten years ago
7
00:00:12,901 --> 00:00:15,443
so she went to a seance
to try to raise up his spirit
8
00:00:15,526 --> 00:00:18,067
and she said, "Sidney...
9
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,612
Sidney, can you hear me,
Sidney?"
10
00:00:21,695 --> 00:00:23,756
He said, "Yeah, I hear you."
11
00:00:23,839 --> 00:00:25,743
She said, "Sidney, how are you?"
12
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:28,985
"A lot better off
than when I was with you."
13
00:00:29,068 --> 00:00:30,731
"Sidney, what are you doing?"
14
00:00:30,814 --> 00:00:32,095
He said, "My life is terrific.
15
00:00:32,095 --> 00:00:34,797
"I wake up in the morning,
have breakfast, and make love.
16
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,503
"Have lunch, then make love.
17
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,486
Have dinner, then make love."
18
00:00:38,486 --> 00:00:40,687
She says, "Are you in heaven?"
19
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:43,305
He said, "No, I'm a bull
in Montana."
20
00:00:43,388 --> 00:00:45,672
[laughing]
21
00:00:50,003 --> 00:00:52,418
[theme song]
22
00:00:53,746 --> 00:00:56,405
♪ Welcome back ♪
23
00:00:56,488 --> 00:01:00,104
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
24
00:01:00,187 --> 00:01:02,715
♪ Welcome back ♪
25
00:01:02,798 --> 00:01:06,937
♪ To that same old
place that you laughed about ♪
26
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:11,550
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
27
00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:16,160
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
28
00:01:16,207 --> 00:01:18,039
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
29
00:01:18,122 --> 00:01:19,954
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
30
00:01:20,037 --> 00:01:21,999
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
31
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,349
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
32
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:28,397
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
33
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,833
♪ Welcome back ♪
34
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:36,160
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪♪
35
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,167
♪♪
36
00:01:45,615 --> 00:01:46,936
- Hey, everybody.
- Hey, what's up?
37
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,759
I have an announcement
to make.
38
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,806
Me and Wendy
are goin' steady.
39
00:01:50,889 --> 00:01:53,398
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Terrific! Congratulations!
40
00:01:53,399 --> 00:01:58,687
Yeah, I just pinned her,
best three out of five.
41
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,113
What a lovely couple.
42
00:02:00,196 --> 00:02:01,577
Wendy's really happy,
ain't ya?
43
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,862
Oh, I'm really happy,
I am.
44
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:06,144
Yeah, but, um, did you
pick up that lottery ticket?
45
00:02:06,164 --> 00:02:07,445
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
46
00:02:07,465 --> 00:02:08,765
Got it right here,
got it right here.
47
00:02:08,765 --> 00:02:10,086
Everybody cough up
their quarter now.
48
00:02:10,087 --> 00:02:12,329
- On the way. On the way.
- Here's my money, little Juan.
49
00:02:12,329 --> 00:02:15,380
Alright, best investment
you ever made.
50
00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:17,391
- Oh, Juan's right!
- Yeah, yeah.
51
00:02:17,474 --> 00:02:19,433
This week, we're really
gonna hit the ole jackpot.
52
00:02:19,516 --> 00:02:21,452
Oh, he's right,
he's right.
53
00:02:21,535 --> 00:02:23,957
Okay, okay, okay,
you're right...
54
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,781
...but you said that
last week.
55
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,302
Hey, but Juan
was right last week.
56
00:02:27,322 --> 00:02:29,124
That's right,
I was right last week.
57
00:02:29,124 --> 00:02:30,778
The people down at the lottery
was wrong.
58
00:02:30,778 --> 00:02:32,687
[laughing]
59
00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:34,230
Good morning.
60
00:02:37,279 --> 00:02:40,172
[indistinct chatter]
61
00:02:42,722 --> 00:02:43,644
I can't believe it.
62
00:02:43,727 --> 00:02:46,027
You guys are still throwing
your money away on the lottery.
63
00:02:46,110 --> 00:02:48,112
Uh, Mr. Kotter,
I can feel it.
64
00:02:48,154 --> 00:02:50,194
Look, this time we bought
the million dollar ticket.
65
00:02:50,276 --> 00:02:51,668
Let me tell you guys
a little story.
66
00:02:51,751 --> 00:02:53,601
[Arnold groaning]
67
00:02:56,450 --> 00:02:57,951
When I was a young lad
68
00:02:57,952 --> 00:02:59,833
I asked my Uncle Manny,
the accountant
69
00:02:59,833 --> 00:03:01,735
I said, "Manny, I want
to have a lot of money."
70
00:03:01,736 --> 00:03:03,659
He said, "Gabe,
you want a million dollars?
71
00:03:03,659 --> 00:03:06,596
There's only one way
embezzle it."
72
00:03:08,092 --> 00:03:09,552
Yeah.
73
00:03:10,952 --> 00:03:12,633
You get it?
He was an accountant.
74
00:03:12,633 --> 00:03:16,251
[laughing]
75
00:03:16,334 --> 00:03:17,653
wait, Mr. Kotter.
76
00:03:17,736 --> 00:03:19,916
You see, um, our money
77
00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:21,566
we ain't throwin' it away.
78
00:03:21,621 --> 00:03:23,397
See, what we...
79
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,319
What we're doin'
is we're buyin'
80
00:03:26,401 --> 00:03:28,558
a piece of the dream.
81
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:31,824
We're buyin' a one-way ticket
to the good life, you hear me?
82
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:32,807
To the good life!
83
00:03:32,807 --> 00:03:35,090
I'm talkin' about
fame and fortune.
84
00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:36,532
What am I talkin' about?
85
00:03:36,532 --> 00:03:37,654
[Arnold] You're talkin' about wealth.
86
00:03:37,654 --> 00:03:40,118
I'm talkin' about wealth,
that's what I'm talkin' about!
87
00:03:40,118 --> 00:03:43,080
I'm talkin' about wealth,
I wants to hear it in my head.
88
00:03:43,081 --> 00:03:44,043
You're talkin' about power.
89
00:03:44,043 --> 00:03:44,987
Power, power!
90
00:03:45,070 --> 00:03:46,802
And wealth, and position
91
00:03:46,885 --> 00:03:49,088
and a chance for the bettering
of your soul!
92
00:03:49,108 --> 00:03:50,533
Can I get a amen?
93
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:51,334
[cheering]
94
00:03:51,335 --> 00:03:53,170
Can I get a amen?
95
00:03:56,137 --> 00:03:56,977
Sit down.
96
00:03:57,060 --> 00:03:59,760
That's good enough.
97
00:04:00,763 --> 00:04:03,464
Okay, now,
need I remind you people
98
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:07,725
that this is a classroom
not a casino.
99
00:04:07,787 --> 00:04:09,247
Oh.
100
00:04:09,594 --> 00:04:12,444
No wonder why
we ain't won nothing.
101
00:04:13,541 --> 00:04:16,782
Sit down,
sit down!
102
00:04:17,681 --> 00:04:19,924
Okay, now, homework,
I would like your homework
103
00:04:20,008 --> 00:04:21,389
which covered
the industrial revolution.
104
00:04:21,389 --> 00:04:23,389
Please pass it to my right,
which is your left
105
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:26,479
which is this way.
106
00:04:26,562 --> 00:04:28,707
Look at me,
look, look at me.
107
00:04:28,791 --> 00:04:29,949
This way.
108
00:04:30,032 --> 00:04:32,012
Oh, that way!
109
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,642
Did anyone visit Vinnie
today at the hospital?
110
00:04:35,726 --> 00:04:38,793
Who wants to visit
a dying man?
111
00:04:40,276 --> 00:04:41,218
He is not dying
112
00:04:41,218 --> 00:04:43,739
he has just had
his tonsils removed.
113
00:04:43,823 --> 00:04:45,965
I gotta stop by
and see Vinnie myself today.
114
00:04:46,049 --> 00:04:47,389
I gotta tell him
Woodman's gonna let him
115
00:04:47,472 --> 00:04:48,731
take that make-up test.
116
00:04:48,814 --> 00:04:50,156
If you're gonna go
by the hospital
117
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,458
could you give this
to Vinnie?
118
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,041
From all of us
to all of him.
119
00:04:54,062 --> 00:04:55,262
Oh, you got him
a little something?
120
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,823
That's really nice
of you people.
121
00:04:56,906 --> 00:04:58,065
What is it?
122
00:04:58,148 --> 00:04:59,527
It's a...
123
00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:02,452
You know,
it's a get well card.
124
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,054
Ooh!
125
00:05:07,322 --> 00:05:09,673
This girl looks
very healthy to me.
126
00:05:09,673 --> 00:05:12,566
[laughing]
127
00:05:13,442 --> 00:05:15,264
And, Mr. Kotter,
could you put up
128
00:05:15,347 --> 00:05:17,489
Vinnie's quarter
for this week's lottery?
129
00:05:17,573 --> 00:05:19,271
You want a quarter
from me?
130
00:05:19,354 --> 00:05:20,657
Are you people crazy?
131
00:05:20,741 --> 00:05:22,579
I am the father of twins.
132
00:05:22,662 --> 00:05:24,467
I do not have
any extra quarters.
133
00:05:24,551 --> 00:05:27,296
I'm saving them all
for the tooth fairy.
134
00:05:27,379 --> 00:05:30,534
He's gonna visit
my house 64 times.
135
00:05:31,687 --> 00:05:33,268
Now, come on,
Mr. Kotter.
136
00:05:33,351 --> 00:05:35,635
You know Vinnie,
he gonna give it back to you.
137
00:05:35,654 --> 00:05:37,254
Alright, look,
if I give you people a quarter
138
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,034
can we get on
with the lesson?
139
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:44,005
We are here to learn,
Mr. Kotter-r-r-r-r-r.
140
00:05:45,048 --> 00:05:46,354
Okay, here you go.
141
00:05:46,437 --> 00:05:47,350
I got it!
142
00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:48,449
Here you go, Vinnie.
143
00:05:48,532 --> 00:05:49,854
Well, thank you,
Vinnie, my man.
144
00:05:49,854 --> 00:05:52,534
I knew you was good
for the bread.
145
00:05:52,617 --> 00:05:55,297
Alright, we will continue
with today's lesson.
146
00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:58,803
No more interruptions.
147
00:05:59,618 --> 00:06:02,599
Sorry to interrupt,
Kotter, I...
148
00:06:02,899 --> 00:06:05,262
I just came by to pick up
your monthly progress report.
149
00:06:05,345 --> 00:06:08,108
- Where is it?
- It's on the desk.
150
00:06:08,673 --> 00:06:10,133
Ooh!
151
00:06:11,291 --> 00:06:13,662
Mr. Woodman,
that's not it.
152
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,555
[laughing]
153
00:06:18,981 --> 00:06:23,166
Kotter, I thought you taught
social studies, not anatomy.
154
00:06:24,604 --> 00:06:26,027
What's the meaning of this?
155
00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:29,967
That's not it,
Mr. Woodman, that's a...
156
00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:32,727
...get well card for Vinnie.
157
00:06:32,811 --> 00:06:34,133
Oh, I see.
158
00:06:34,216 --> 00:06:36,619
Well, uh, if you don't mind
159
00:06:36,639 --> 00:06:38,519
I'll just take this
back to my office
160
00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:40,951
and add a few sentiments
of my own.
161
00:06:40,951 --> 00:06:43,366
[laughing]
162
00:06:46,693 --> 00:06:48,793
It's shameful, Kotter.
163
00:06:49,197 --> 00:06:51,699
It's... It's just shameful.
164
00:06:54,538 --> 00:06:55,892
Isn't that a nice train?
165
00:06:55,975 --> 00:06:57,234
Choo-choo.
166
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,710
Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga.
167
00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,674
Does teddy like
the choo-choo?
168
00:07:00,757 --> 00:07:01,852
Does he?
169
00:07:01,936 --> 00:07:03,138
That's good.
170
00:07:03,221 --> 00:07:06,482
Would teddy like to take
a ride on the choo-choo?
171
00:07:06,565 --> 00:07:07,963
No?
172
00:07:08,046 --> 00:07:11,050
Teddy don't want to take
a ride on the choo-choo?
173
00:07:11,133 --> 00:07:12,255
Well, then maybe
the choo-choo
174
00:07:12,255 --> 00:07:14,624
should take a ride
on teddy's face.
175
00:07:17,243 --> 00:07:20,868
Vinnie, did they remove
your tonsils or your brain?
176
00:07:22,070 --> 00:07:24,441
Hey, welcome
to the nursery.
177
00:07:25,826 --> 00:07:27,645
Vinnie, listen,
I got great news for you.
178
00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:30,447
Mr. Woodman has decided to let
you take the make-up test.
179
00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:32,172
I got some homework
I want you to do.
180
00:07:32,172 --> 00:07:34,370
The test is gonna be
a week from Wednesday.
181
00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:36,281
Uh, I can't make it
a week from Wednesday.
182
00:07:36,295 --> 00:07:37,970
I got a date.
183
00:07:38,054 --> 00:07:40,936
Listen, you've been
driving me crazy for two weeks.
184
00:07:41,019 --> 00:07:43,799
Take a make-up test, you want
to get into the 11th grade.
185
00:07:43,882 --> 00:07:46,381
Come on, they don't take
babies in 11th grade.
186
00:07:46,464 --> 00:07:48,357
I got a baby disease.
187
00:07:49,384 --> 00:07:52,345
Vinnie, listen, a lot of adults
have their tonsils removed.
188
00:07:52,429 --> 00:07:53,550
Oh, yeah,
well how come last night
189
00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:56,453
the nurse had to come in
and burp me?
190
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:58,379
If I know you, sailor
191
00:07:58,379 --> 00:08:00,563
you probably tried
to burp her first.
192
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:02,681
Well, even so...
193
00:08:02,764 --> 00:08:03,994
Barbarino, now look--
194
00:08:04,078 --> 00:08:05,078
Don't look at me,
alright?
195
00:08:05,078 --> 00:08:07,262
I just had
a major operation.
196
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:09,217
Vinnie, get back in bed.
197
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:10,644
Carry me.
198
00:08:10,727 --> 00:08:11,775
Vinnie!
199
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,318
Alright, Gabe.
200
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,626
Alright, listen.
201
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:16,446
I want you to do
all this stuff here.
202
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,331
Start over here and you go
all the way to the end.
203
00:08:18,351 --> 00:08:20,091
By the way,
you owe me a quarter.
204
00:08:20,174 --> 00:08:23,333
Oh, now I gotta start payin' you
to come visit me?
205
00:08:23,417 --> 00:08:25,637
No, I put in your quarter
for this week's lottery.
206
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,635
Oh, forget the lottery,
forget it.
207
00:08:27,702 --> 00:08:29,905
I've been tryin' the lottery
for two years now.
208
00:08:29,905 --> 00:08:31,581
I never won a dime.
209
00:08:31,664 --> 00:08:32,886
You don't want it?
210
00:08:32,969 --> 00:08:34,929
Nah, you keep it.
211
00:08:35,011 --> 00:08:37,331
Vinnie-Winnie, guess what?
212
00:08:37,414 --> 00:08:40,809
That's... That's the...
That's the burping maniac.
213
00:08:40,892 --> 00:08:42,831
Time for eatie-poo.
214
00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:43,886
Oh, that's goodie.
215
00:08:43,896 --> 00:08:45,416
Because you know
what I had today?
216
00:08:45,499 --> 00:08:49,361
I had a poached eggie,
and I had toastie,
217
00:08:49,444 --> 00:08:50,646
and I had jammie.
218
00:08:50,729 --> 00:08:52,372
Well, for din-din,
219
00:08:52,372 --> 00:08:54,853
you're having soupie
and chickie
220
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,327
and cauliflowie.
221
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,563
Cauliflowie?
222
00:08:58,646 --> 00:09:01,146
Can I, uh, talk to you
a second?
223
00:09:01,634 --> 00:09:04,119
Look, I know you're probably
a highly-trained professional
224
00:09:04,202 --> 00:09:05,806
but why are you
treating him like a baby?
225
00:09:05,826 --> 00:09:08,053
Why don't you, uh,
treat him like a man?
226
00:09:08,073 --> 00:09:09,251
Oh, I tried that.
227
00:09:09,334 --> 00:09:10,598
Last night.
228
00:09:10,681 --> 00:09:14,748
It, uh, took two orderlies
to pull him off me.
229
00:09:19,106 --> 00:09:21,028
Okay, listen,
if you want to help
230
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,747
Mrs. Kotter
with the babies
231
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:26,050
you're gonna have to learn
about burping.
232
00:09:26,094 --> 00:09:28,417
Hey, come on, you don't got
to tell me about burping.
233
00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:29,915
I mean, I can burp,
you know, right on cue
234
00:09:29,998 --> 00:09:31,833
you want to hear me?
235
00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:35,542
N-n-no thanks,
alright?
236
00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:37,953
Go ahead, Wendy,
continue.
237
00:09:38,066 --> 00:09:39,066
Okay.
238
00:09:39,149 --> 00:09:42,850
Look, place the baby
on your shoulder
239
00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:45,476
and pat it gently
on the back, okay?
240
00:09:45,476 --> 00:09:46,936
That's easy.
241
00:09:48,643 --> 00:09:50,565
- So, what else is new?
- Terrible!
242
00:09:50,648 --> 00:09:52,267
You don't know nothin'
about babies, give me that baby
243
00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,330
let me show you
how to burp this baby.
244
00:09:54,413 --> 00:09:55,290
Come on, that's my baby.
245
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:56,984
It's my baby!
246
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:59,961
[screaming]
247
00:10:02,607 --> 00:10:03,771
Boys, stop fightin'!
248
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,314
Boys!
249
00:10:13,115 --> 00:10:16,116
Epstein, you keep the doll.
250
00:10:16,794 --> 00:10:17,912
Washington, I'll buy you
251
00:10:17,995 --> 00:10:20,713
a nice, little tea set
to play with.
252
00:10:22,402 --> 00:10:24,224
Hey, Mr. Woodman,
we was just practicing
253
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,887
in case Mrs. Kotter
needs some extra help.
254
00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:29,631
Oh, I think Julie's
quite capable
255
00:10:29,631 --> 00:10:31,633
of handling Kotter on her own.
256
00:10:31,659 --> 00:10:34,674
[laughing]
257
00:10:34,757 --> 00:10:35,959
You get it, handling Kotter
258
00:10:36,042 --> 00:10:38,198
burping Kotter,
changing Kotter's diapers?
259
00:10:38,281 --> 00:10:40,739
[laughing]
260
00:10:43,202 --> 00:10:46,282
You people have
no sense of humor.
261
00:10:46,365 --> 00:10:47,583
See you tomorrow.
262
00:10:47,666 --> 00:10:49,766
Oh, uh, Kotter.
263
00:10:50,068 --> 00:10:51,548
They're practicing
in case your wife
264
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:53,971
needs help
changing you.
265
00:10:56,014 --> 00:10:58,636
No more diaper rash, Kotter.
Funny stuff, huh?
266
00:10:58,637 --> 00:11:01,053
[laughing]
267
00:11:04,462 --> 00:11:08,704
How long have you been without
your medication, Mr. Woodman?
268
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:13,711
You're a cold person,
Kotter.
269
00:11:13,794 --> 00:11:16,396
You're a very
cold person.
270
00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:19,079
Oh, look,
Epstein's got a nice doll.
271
00:11:19,162 --> 00:11:21,265
Washington, maybe I'll buy you
a nice, little tea set.
272
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,686
That's my joke, Kotter!
273
00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:27,110
Vacation, Mr. Woodman.
274
00:11:27,934 --> 00:11:29,894
Hey, you guys!
275
00:11:29,977 --> 00:11:31,519
You guys, we won!
276
00:11:31,602 --> 00:11:33,203
We won the lottery!
277
00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:34,804
We won a million bucks?
A million bucks?
278
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,016
Well, not exactly
279
00:11:36,026 --> 00:11:37,564
but we made it
to the semi-finals
280
00:11:37,647 --> 00:11:40,483
and so far we've won
a thousand dollars!
281
00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:41,943
We're thousandaires!
282
00:11:42,956 --> 00:11:46,154
We won, I don't believe it,
we won, we won!
283
00:11:51,338 --> 00:11:55,343
"We," Mr. Kotter?
284
00:11:55,426 --> 00:11:56,681
Us.
285
00:11:56,764 --> 00:11:58,200
No, no, no, no, no.
286
00:11:58,283 --> 00:11:59,743
Us.
287
00:11:59,945 --> 00:12:03,230
Little Juan
and big Freddie
288
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:05,667
and me, and let us
not forget Vincent.
289
00:12:05,674 --> 00:12:09,351
Yeah, well, you see, when I went
to the hospital, Vinnie...
290
00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:18,189
Congratulations.
291
00:12:18,272 --> 00:12:19,794
Come on, let's go
over to the hospital, huh?
292
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,479
This is really
gonna cheer Vinnie up.
293
00:12:21,562 --> 00:12:23,760
Oh, he's gonna be
so happy!
294
00:12:27,825 --> 00:12:32,794
Oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy.
295
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,337
Oh, boy.
296
00:12:42,671 --> 00:12:44,433
Gabe, I could use
a little help out here.
297
00:12:44,516 --> 00:12:47,105
- Be right in.
- Okay.
298
00:12:51,322 --> 00:12:54,738
I need help changing a baby,
not delivering one.
299
00:12:55,886 --> 00:12:59,146
Germs, you want me
to give the girls germs?
300
00:12:59,229 --> 00:13:00,689
Mine's dry.
301
00:13:01,732 --> 00:13:03,192
Mine's not.
302
00:13:05,776 --> 00:13:07,236
Gabe.
303
00:13:07,617 --> 00:13:09,536
How come I always get
the wet one?
304
00:13:09,619 --> 00:13:12,802
Oh, she's just showing off
for daddy.
305
00:13:12,802 --> 00:13:16,506
We got to break her of this
habit before she starts dating.
306
00:13:17,427 --> 00:13:20,288
Honey, what are you gonna do
about Vinnie's lottery ticket?
307
00:13:20,371 --> 00:13:21,271
Well, I told you.
308
00:13:21,271 --> 00:13:24,593
Technically, legally,
morally, the money's mine.
309
00:13:24,676 --> 00:13:26,776
Well, what are
you gonna do?
310
00:13:27,359 --> 00:13:29,078
Give it all
to Vinnie.
311
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,081
Are you sure
that's the right thing?
312
00:13:32,164 --> 00:13:34,465
Julie, you're not
suggesting...
313
00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:35,548
- Honey--
- I don't believe it.
314
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,648
She's wet again.
315
00:13:38,137 --> 00:13:41,102
I'm simply suggesting
that if you hand the money
316
00:13:41,102 --> 00:13:43,262
over to Vinnie, you're just
gonna be rewarding him
317
00:13:43,345 --> 00:13:46,844
for breaking an agreement,
that's all.
318
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,129
You're all wet!
319
00:13:48,212 --> 00:13:50,414
I am not.
320
00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:53,797
[laughing]
321
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,929
Julie, I was talking
to the baby.
322
00:13:56,012 --> 00:13:56,996
Oh!
323
00:13:57,079 --> 00:13:58,083
[knock on door]
324
00:13:58,166 --> 00:14:00,129
You get that,
I'll change her.
325
00:14:00,149 --> 00:14:01,670
Go ahead.
326
00:14:04,783 --> 00:14:06,319
Oh, hi, Arnold.
327
00:14:06,402 --> 00:14:08,684
Hi, Mr. Kotter!
328
00:14:08,684 --> 00:14:10,285
Mrs. Kotter!
329
00:14:10,368 --> 00:14:11,868
Oh, the little ba...
330
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:13,411
Oh!
331
00:14:19,623 --> 00:14:22,952
I was supposed to bring
over Vinnie's homework.
332
00:14:23,787 --> 00:14:25,049
Well, where is it?
333
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:28,475
I was supposed to tell you
that I got held up
334
00:14:28,558 --> 00:14:31,119
by the homework mugger.
335
00:14:33,602 --> 00:14:35,401
Was I supposed
to believe it?
336
00:14:35,484 --> 00:14:36,983
Oh, Mr. Kotter
337
00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:39,249
you shoulda seen
Vinnie's face
338
00:14:39,249 --> 00:14:42,050
when we told him about winning
the lottery ticket.
339
00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:45,679
He was so excited,
he dropped his nurse.
340
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,703
Arnold,
at, uh, 3 o'clock
341
00:14:50,703 --> 00:14:54,815
Mr. Kotter stops being teacher
and starts being daddy.
342
00:14:55,489 --> 00:14:57,161
Oh, I see, Mrs...
343
00:14:57,171 --> 00:15:00,717
I understand,
say not another word.
344
00:15:01,837 --> 00:15:03,297
Daddy!
345
00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:08,071
[laughing]
346
00:15:09,664 --> 00:15:13,705
Vinnie was transformed,
just like a new man
347
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:16,849
full of plans
for the future.
348
00:15:16,932 --> 00:15:19,295
He is even thinking
of starting
349
00:15:19,295 --> 00:15:23,930
the Vincent Barbarino home
for the incurably sexy.
350
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:26,802
I don't believe it
351
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:29,822
didn't Vinnie say anything
to you about, uh...
352
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,417
...about anything?
353
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,284
We talked about
a lot of things
354
00:15:35,363 --> 00:15:37,517
but we didn't talk
about anything.
355
00:15:39,085 --> 00:15:40,707
Hey, I gotta go.
356
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:44,693
They're havin' a big sale
over at Corvette's...
357
00:15:44,776 --> 00:15:46,997
on slight irregulars.
358
00:15:48,221 --> 00:15:50,962
This may come as a shock
to you, Mr. Kotter
359
00:15:51,045 --> 00:15:53,961
but I am slightly irregular.
360
00:15:53,970 --> 00:15:55,602
[Arnold laughing]
361
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:03,510
Well, what are you
gonna do?
362
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:05,493
You know,
I don't believe Vinnie.
363
00:16:05,576 --> 00:16:06,598
I mean, at least
he could have waited
364
00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:10,302
until I gave him the money
before he started to spend it.
365
00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:14,464
Honey, you know,
that money is rightfully yours.
366
00:16:14,547 --> 00:16:15,688
We could use it.
367
00:16:15,771 --> 00:16:18,335
Oh, come on,
we'd just waste it on luxuries.
368
00:16:18,355 --> 00:16:19,654
Yeah.
369
00:16:19,737 --> 00:16:21,197
Like food.
370
00:16:22,979 --> 00:16:25,463
And clothes
for the babies.
371
00:16:25,546 --> 00:16:26,948
Hey, I have an idea
about that.
372
00:16:26,948 --> 00:16:30,732
Why don't we just buy
one set of clothes and Xerox it?
373
00:16:37,879 --> 00:16:39,782
I tell you what,
I'll go see Vinnie.
374
00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:41,965
Okay, that's a good idea.
375
00:16:44,888 --> 00:16:46,771
You know what's
amazing, Julie?
376
00:16:46,854 --> 00:16:50,495
In this day and age, you can
still get such a bargain.
377
00:16:50,578 --> 00:16:52,178
What do you mean?
378
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,431
For 25 cents, look at all
the aggravation I bought.
379
00:17:01,827 --> 00:17:03,927
Oh, that's nice.
380
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,198
Listen, doll
381
00:17:05,238 --> 00:17:08,335
if you do that hand
as well as you did this hand
382
00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:11,321
I might buy you
that ring I promised you.
383
00:17:13,224 --> 00:17:14,263
Good afternoon.
384
00:17:14,346 --> 00:17:15,905
Gabriel, my boy!
385
00:17:15,988 --> 00:17:19,228
How nice of you
to drop by.
386
00:17:19,311 --> 00:17:21,509
Care for a bonbon?
387
00:17:23,033 --> 00:17:24,455
Nurse, could you leave us
alone for a while?
388
00:17:24,539 --> 00:17:27,639
I think this
might get messy.
389
00:17:27,723 --> 00:17:29,183
Alright.
390
00:17:30,026 --> 00:17:33,850
I'll be back for the mudpack
at five, V.R.B.
391
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:37,430
V.R.B?
392
00:17:37,612 --> 00:17:40,150
Yeah, I'm gonna buy me
a middle initial.
393
00:17:40,234 --> 00:17:42,032
It's real classy-like.
394
00:17:42,116 --> 00:17:43,358
You know, Vinnie,
I think it's really nice
395
00:17:43,358 --> 00:17:45,956
that you're spending my money
like it was yours.
396
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,000
Your money?
397
00:17:47,083 --> 00:17:47,983
Yeah, don't you remember?
398
00:17:48,042 --> 00:17:49,921
I bought your share
of the lottery this week.
399
00:17:50,004 --> 00:17:52,105
Oh, I got... I got that quarter
for you right here.
400
00:17:52,106 --> 00:17:54,609
That's no problem.
401
00:17:54,609 --> 00:17:55,509
How are the twins?
402
00:17:55,510 --> 00:17:57,549
Are they housebroken
yet or what?
403
00:17:57,632 --> 00:17:58,792
Vinnie, we're talking
about something
404
00:17:58,792 --> 00:18:01,057
a lot more important
than money.
405
00:18:01,136 --> 00:18:02,214
What?
406
00:18:02,297 --> 00:18:03,791
Your word.
407
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,296
Oh, my word
ain't worth nothin'.
408
00:18:05,296 --> 00:18:06,296
It ain't worth a dime.
409
00:18:06,297 --> 00:18:07,653
Ask anybody.
410
00:18:07,736 --> 00:18:08,536
Vinnie!
411
00:18:08,619 --> 00:18:09,601
Come on, Mr. Kotter
412
00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:11,002
I've been in this
two years already.
413
00:18:11,042 --> 00:18:12,160
You're just startin' out
414
00:18:12,244 --> 00:18:14,613
I got a bigger investment
than you.
415
00:18:19,472 --> 00:18:21,571
Alright, alright,
alright.
416
00:18:21,655 --> 00:18:24,591
Take the robe,
I hate it, it itches.
417
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,478
Go on,
it's your money.
418
00:18:27,561 --> 00:18:29,861
That's what I wanted
to hear you say.
419
00:18:29,945 --> 00:18:31,600
Okay, vin.
420
00:18:31,684 --> 00:18:32,783
I tell you
what we'll do.
421
00:18:32,867 --> 00:18:34,328
We'll split everything
right down the middle
422
00:18:34,328 --> 00:18:38,162
50-50,
what do you say?
423
00:18:38,245 --> 00:18:40,530
Who gets the 50?
424
00:18:42,396 --> 00:18:44,495
We both do, partners.
425
00:18:44,835 --> 00:18:46,496
Oh, partners-like.
426
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:48,215
Oh, that's good.
427
00:18:48,299 --> 00:18:49,300
Hey, we gotta celebrate.
428
00:18:49,383 --> 00:18:51,022
I know, I know,
I got something for you.
429
00:18:51,105 --> 00:18:52,803
I got something for you,
you're gonna love this.
430
00:18:52,886 --> 00:18:54,985
You're gonna love this.
431
00:18:55,108 --> 00:18:57,648
Look at that,
check it out.
432
00:18:57,731 --> 00:18:58,948
What's this?
433
00:18:59,032 --> 00:19:01,071
That's my homework.
434
00:19:01,154 --> 00:19:04,396
This is your homework?
435
00:19:04,479 --> 00:19:06,199
I was sick!
436
00:19:13,913 --> 00:19:18,116
Just think,
in only two magical minutes
437
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:22,124
the lowly poor will become
the hearty rich!
438
00:19:23,167 --> 00:19:25,969
Don't become so hearty yet,
Arnold, we haven't won.
439
00:19:26,052 --> 00:19:28,075
[knock on door]
440
00:19:29,614 --> 00:19:30,757
Come on in, Epstein.
441
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,300
Hey, Juan.
442
00:19:33,538 --> 00:19:34,977
Sit down.
443
00:19:35,061 --> 00:19:37,282
Epstein, what's that
satchel for?
444
00:19:37,366 --> 00:19:38,905
It's for the money.
445
00:19:38,988 --> 00:19:42,425
What am I gonna do,
stuff 250 G's in my pocket?
446
00:19:42,508 --> 00:19:44,650
Hey, Juan, um,
they gonna give us a check.
447
00:19:44,734 --> 00:19:47,858
Oh, no, I don't take checks,
checks bounce.
448
00:19:47,858 --> 00:19:50,743
This one's gonna be
from New York State.
449
00:19:50,743 --> 00:19:52,203
Especially those.
450
00:19:55,181 --> 00:19:57,253
Well, uh,
I finally decided
451
00:19:57,336 --> 00:19:59,413
what I'm gonna do
with my fortune.
452
00:19:59,496 --> 00:20:00,718
Oh, yeah? What?
453
00:20:00,802 --> 00:20:03,863
Well, you see,
I'm real tired
454
00:20:03,946 --> 00:20:05,906
of seein' my poor mama
breakin' her back
455
00:20:05,931 --> 00:20:07,023
year after year
456
00:20:07,053 --> 00:20:08,793
puttin' all that old,
dirty laundry
457
00:20:08,876 --> 00:20:11,254
on that old clothesline.
458
00:20:11,338 --> 00:20:12,540
Oh, that's nice, Freddie,
you're gonna buy her
459
00:20:12,623 --> 00:20:13,865
like a washer and dryer?
460
00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:16,769
No, I was gonna buy her
a new clothesline.
461
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,445
How about yourself?
462
00:20:20,528 --> 00:20:23,111
Me, I'm happy,
I don't need anything.
463
00:20:23,195 --> 00:20:24,696
I got a job
I really love
464
00:20:24,696 --> 00:20:28,580
a beautiful wife,
two terrific new babies.
465
00:20:29,403 --> 00:20:31,084
I'm happy.
466
00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:34,266
Well, should be
just about time, huh?
467
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:37,050
[man on TV] And now the million dollar
moment is here.
468
00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:40,484
Come on, I need the money!
469
00:20:40,558 --> 00:20:42,618
[man on TV] All the names and numbers
of the finalists
470
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:44,047
are in this bowl.
471
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:45,482
We're ready, pop.
472
00:20:45,492 --> 00:20:47,893
Just drop it right in here,
and remember
473
00:20:47,976 --> 00:20:49,657
no pennies!
474
00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:52,980
[man on TV] I wish you all good luck.
475
00:20:53,063 --> 00:20:55,724
I am now dipping my hand
into the bowl.
476
00:20:55,807 --> 00:20:57,407
Don't dip it.
477
00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,169
Shove it down deep.
478
00:20:59,253 --> 00:21:02,174
Deeper! Deeper!
479
00:21:04,961 --> 00:21:06,521
I'm sorry.
480
00:21:07,845 --> 00:21:10,829
[man on TV] I have the name in my hand.
Juan...
481
00:21:10,912 --> 00:21:12,109
[screaming]
482
00:21:12,193 --> 00:21:15,215
[man on TV] I can't make out
his last name.
483
00:21:15,610 --> 00:21:17,210
Epstein!
Juan Epstein!
484
00:21:17,293 --> 00:21:22,493
E-P-S-T-E-I-N, Epstein!
485
00:21:23,852 --> 00:21:25,046
[man on TV] It's ep-something.
486
00:21:25,129 --> 00:21:26,787
Come on, say it!
487
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,501
[screaming]
488
00:21:30,439 --> 00:21:31,574
[man on TV] Ep... Ep...
489
00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:33,097
Eppinger.
490
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:34,640
Juan Eppinger.
491
00:21:35,070 --> 00:21:39,618
You, Juan Eppinger,
have won a million dollars.
492
00:21:41,381 --> 00:21:42,778
That's me.
493
00:21:42,861 --> 00:21:44,321
I won.
494
00:21:44,642 --> 00:21:47,324
I am Juan Eppinger.
495
00:21:47,407 --> 00:21:49,815
Don't let
the "Epstein" fool ya.
496
00:21:49,898 --> 00:21:51,604
It was a family name,
we changed it
497
00:21:51,604 --> 00:21:53,737
when we first came
to this country.
498
00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:58,630
- Epstein, it's alright.
- I've got documents.
499
00:21:58,631 --> 00:22:00,764
I've got papers!
500
00:22:00,848 --> 00:22:05,265
Epstein goes all the way back
to the Dead Sea Scrolls!
501
00:22:05,348 --> 00:22:06,590
Epstein, take it easy.
502
00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,261
Take it easy.
503
00:22:08,349 --> 00:22:09,642
It's alright,
we won $250 each.
504
00:22:09,642 --> 00:22:10,774
Take it easy, it's alright.
505
00:22:10,777 --> 00:22:12,398
Just check the Dead Sea Scrolls.
506
00:22:12,419 --> 00:22:14,600
- It's okay.
- Check the Dead Sea Scrolls.
507
00:22:25,231 --> 00:22:28,463
We came close, huh?
508
00:22:28,546 --> 00:22:30,888
So, what, I mean,
who needs a million dollars?
509
00:22:32,712 --> 00:22:35,882
Listen, did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Eddie?
510
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:40,982
He was a thief, you know,
he wanted a million dollars
511
00:22:40,982 --> 00:22:43,923
wanted to rob a bank,
you know, train...
512
00:22:44,006 --> 00:22:46,627
Never made it,
was always a small-time crook.
513
00:22:46,710 --> 00:22:48,412
In fact, one time
he was walkin' down the streets
514
00:22:48,412 --> 00:22:50,572
in New York City, you know,
with his girlfriend
515
00:22:50,655 --> 00:22:52,438
and he saw a diamond bracelet
in the window
516
00:22:52,498 --> 00:22:55,920
and his girlfriend said...
Listen, this is funny.
517
00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:01,315
His girlfriend said, "Eddie,
could you get me that bracelet?"
518
00:23:01,398 --> 00:23:03,900
So he takes a brick,
throws it through the window
519
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:05,923
and grabs the bracelet.
520
00:23:06,006 --> 00:23:07,638
[mock laughing]
521
00:23:11,275 --> 00:23:12,578
Then they're walkin',
they keep walkin'
522
00:23:12,578 --> 00:23:14,601
she sees a big fur coat
in the window.
523
00:23:14,621 --> 00:23:17,463
She says, "Eddie, could you
get me that fur coat?"
524
00:23:17,546 --> 00:23:19,386
he takes a brick,
throws it through the window
525
00:23:19,469 --> 00:23:21,078
gets her the fur coat.
526
00:23:21,161 --> 00:23:22,837
[mock laughing]
527
00:23:26,786 --> 00:23:28,729
Then they're walking
through the most expensive store
528
00:23:28,811 --> 00:23:30,052
on 5th avenue, right?
529
00:23:30,136 --> 00:23:31,901
And she sees
a beautiful dress
530
00:23:31,901 --> 00:23:35,388
and she says, "Eddie,
could you get me that dress?"
531
00:23:35,471 --> 00:23:36,815
and he looks at her and says
532
00:23:36,815 --> 00:23:39,718
"What do you think,
I'm made out of bricks?"
533
00:23:49,372 --> 00:23:52,700
[theme song]
534
00:23:56,596 --> 00:23:59,734
♪ Welcome back ♪
535
00:23:59,817 --> 00:24:03,085
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
536
00:24:03,168 --> 00:24:05,609
♪ Welcome back ♪
537
00:24:05,692 --> 00:24:10,134
♪ To that same old
place that you laughed about ♪
538
00:24:10,217 --> 00:24:14,749
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
539
00:24:14,832 --> 00:24:19,014
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
540
00:24:19,097 --> 00:24:21,103
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
541
00:24:21,186 --> 00:24:23,061
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
542
00:24:23,144 --> 00:24:25,107
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
543
00:24:25,190 --> 00:24:27,414
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
544
00:24:27,497 --> 00:24:31,418
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
545
00:24:31,501 --> 00:24:33,985
♪ Welcome back ♪
546
00:24:34,068 --> 00:24:38,120
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
547
00:24:38,203 --> 00:24:40,557
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
548
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,168
♪ Welcome back ♪
549
00:24:43,251 --> 00:24:46,868
♪ We always could
spot a friend ♪
550
00:24:46,951 --> 00:24:49,305
♪ Welcome back ♪
551
00:24:49,388 --> 00:24:51,563
♪ And I smile
when I think how you... ♪♪
38936
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