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1
00:00:00,743 --> 00:00:02,125
Uncle Herman!
Hi, it's Gabe.
2
00:00:02,208 --> 00:00:03,951
Listen, I'm glad I caught you.
3
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,930
I got a problem, Julie's gonna
be home in five minutes
4
00:00:05,975 --> 00:00:07,759
and I don't have a joke
to tell her.
5
00:00:07,837 --> 00:00:10,620
Have you done anything
funny lately?
6
00:00:10,842 --> 00:00:13,544
Have you heard anything
funny lately?
7
00:00:13,627 --> 00:00:15,194
You heard about a guy
who crossed a beaver
8
00:00:15,209 --> 00:00:17,009
and an elephant?
9
00:00:17,092 --> 00:00:18,936
Doesn't know what he got.
10
00:00:19,015 --> 00:00:22,452
But you should see the size
of the dams it builds.
11
00:00:24,706 --> 00:00:26,904
Anything else, come on!
12
00:00:27,247 --> 00:00:28,207
What?
13
00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:30,693
You were so paranoid once,
if you went to
14
00:00:30,776 --> 00:00:32,380
a football game
and the players got into
15
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:36,505
a huddle, you would think
they were talking about you.
16
00:00:36,588 --> 00:00:39,916
Come on, Uncle Herman,
give me the A material.
17
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:42,001
Oh, you knew a guy
that was so mean
18
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:43,786
used to train homing pigeons
19
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,893
and then move.
20
00:00:51,064 --> 00:00:52,464
Come on, Uncle Herman,
she's gonna be right home!
21
00:00:52,547 --> 00:00:55,268
Give me a good one,
a joke, a limerick
22
00:00:55,351 --> 00:00:58,005
a pun, a knock-knock,
anything, a riddle
23
00:00:58,034 --> 00:00:59,273
come on, Herman!
24
00:00:59,356 --> 00:01:00,816
I'm desperate!
25
00:01:07,255 --> 00:01:10,671
[theme song]
26
00:01:15,133 --> 00:01:17,618
♪ Welcome back ♪
27
00:01:17,701 --> 00:01:21,448
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
28
00:01:21,531 --> 00:01:23,754
♪ Welcome back ♪
29
00:01:23,837 --> 00:01:28,368
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
30
00:01:28,451 --> 00:01:30,500
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
31
00:01:30,583 --> 00:01:32,763
♪ Since you hung around ♪
32
00:01:32,846 --> 00:01:34,939
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
33
00:01:35,022 --> 00:01:37,377
♪ And they've turned around ♪
34
00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:39,625
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
35
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,366
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
36
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,411
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
37
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,587
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
38
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,633
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
39
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,809
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
40
00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,854
♪ Welcome back ♪
41
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:56,877
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪♪
42
00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:02,621
[indistinct chatter]
43
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:08,758
Okay, okay, guys.
Listen up.
44
00:02:14,355 --> 00:02:16,634
Wait a minute, guys,
wait a minute.
45
00:02:16,717 --> 00:02:20,237
Look, all I know is that
the Silver Gloves boxing match
46
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,556
is on Friday, right?
47
00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:22,639
Yeah.
48
00:02:22,722 --> 00:02:25,524
And Carvelli is fighting
for New Utrecht, right?
49
00:02:25,607 --> 00:02:27,889
Man, I been waiting all year
50
00:02:27,889 --> 00:02:29,950
to get my hands
on that Carvelli.
51
00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:31,106
Oh, yeah.
52
00:02:31,189 --> 00:02:33,669
I want 'em, I want 'em!
53
00:02:33,752 --> 00:02:35,593
Mellow out, Juan, mellow out.
54
00:02:35,594 --> 00:02:38,370
Now listen,
I know that you want him.
55
00:02:38,453 --> 00:02:40,454
- We all want him, right?
- Yeah.
56
00:02:40,537 --> 00:02:42,799
But we gotta do it
the democratic way, okay?
57
00:02:42,859 --> 00:02:44,038
- Alright.
- Alright.
58
00:02:44,121 --> 00:02:47,686
One potato, two potato...
59
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:50,881
...three potato, four...
five potato...
60
00:02:50,964 --> 00:02:53,348
Hey, what happened
to my potato?
61
00:02:53,431 --> 00:02:56,734
You forgot my potato!
62
00:02:57,032 --> 00:02:58,375
I'm a Sweathog, too, you know
63
00:02:58,458 --> 00:03:00,338
don't I get a chance?
64
00:03:00,421 --> 00:03:02,858
A chance to what, die?
65
00:03:02,941 --> 00:03:05,587
- Carvelli's a gorilla.
- Yeah, well, I can handle...
66
00:03:05,669 --> 00:03:07,994
Come on, Arn,
it's a matter of integrity.
67
00:03:08,014 --> 00:03:10,358
You see, the guy who fights
Carvelli, you know
68
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,859
he-he's gotta be strong
and he's gotta be clever.
69
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,103
- Yeah.
- I'm strong.
70
00:03:15,951 --> 00:03:17,092
You're strong, right?
71
00:03:17,175 --> 00:03:18,217
You get your little sister
72
00:03:18,217 --> 00:03:19,435
to carry your books to school
73
00:03:19,458 --> 00:03:21,760
you call that strong?
74
00:03:21,861 --> 00:03:24,275
No, I call that clever.
75
00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:28,627
Just cool it, 'cause we got
more important decisions
76
00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:29,831
to make right now, alright?
77
00:03:29,831 --> 00:03:31,653
We gotta make decisions,
Little Arnold!
78
00:03:31,673 --> 00:03:35,499
- Yeah, let's make decisions.
- Hey, Arnold, Arnold.
79
00:03:35,755 --> 00:03:37,438
No one's saying
you're not one of the boys
80
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:38,505
I mean, you are.
81
00:03:38,542 --> 00:03:40,542
But Friday at 3:30,
whoever faces off
82
00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:45,282
against Carvelli
has got to be a man!
83
00:03:45,282 --> 00:03:48,088
- I'm a man.
- Only by a technicality.
84
00:03:49,874 --> 00:03:53,198
A very small technicality.
85
00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:57,269
Yeah? Well I am such a man
that I am not
86
00:03:57,352 --> 00:03:59,998
the slightest bit upset
by all this!
87
00:04:00,081 --> 00:04:02,522
[crying]
88
00:04:02,605 --> 00:04:04,065
Hey, Arnold.
89
00:04:04,825 --> 00:04:06,285
Arnold!
90
00:04:12,559 --> 00:04:14,321
Arnold, why are you so upset?
91
00:04:14,404 --> 00:04:16,885
Because my dignity
has been attacked.
92
00:04:16,968 --> 00:04:19,189
My core has been shaken.
93
00:04:19,269 --> 00:04:22,952
I have been totally humiliated.
94
00:04:22,952 --> 00:04:26,177
Oh, I thought it was
something serious.
95
00:04:26,197 --> 00:04:28,860
I'm only kidding, Arnold.
Okay, okay, what's the problem?
96
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:31,436
Mr. Kotter,
this is no little thing.
97
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,563
I am a Sweathog,
I got my rights.
98
00:04:34,646 --> 00:04:36,468
As much right as
any other Sweathog
99
00:04:36,468 --> 00:04:39,808
to get into the ring
with Carvelli on Friday.
100
00:04:39,892 --> 00:04:41,992
You wanna fight Carvelli?
101
00:04:42,274 --> 00:04:43,974
Arnold, when did you
first notice this need
102
00:04:44,057 --> 00:04:47,235
to do away with yourself?
103
00:04:47,318 --> 00:04:48,540
Arnold, look,
you're not a fighter
104
00:04:48,603 --> 00:04:50,565
I mean, you've got other
good points.
105
00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:53,707
You're smart, you're charming
106
00:04:53,791 --> 00:04:55,705
you're fun to be around.
107
00:04:55,774 --> 00:04:59,036
You forgot my lilting laugh.
108
00:04:59,119 --> 00:05:01,119
Fun to be around.
109
00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:04,563
Arnold, look, if the guys
don't want you to fight Carvelli
110
00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:07,428
it's just because
they're looking after you.
111
00:05:10,722 --> 00:05:13,143
Hey! Hey, here comes Carvelli.
112
00:05:13,226 --> 00:05:15,327
Here comes Carvelli!
113
00:05:15,568 --> 00:05:17,431
Yeah, and that little chump,
Murray!
114
00:05:17,514 --> 00:05:20,740
Well, well, well,
if it ain't the Sweat-punks.
115
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,763
Well, if it ain't
the Sweat-punks.
116
00:05:23,846 --> 00:05:26,067
Jumpin' rope, Carvelli?
117
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,932
What's the matter,
you tear your dress
118
00:05:29,015 --> 00:05:31,517
when you was playin' hopscotch?
119
00:05:34,306 --> 00:05:35,765
That's funny.
120
00:05:36,029 --> 00:05:38,650
Just so happens I'm in training.
121
00:05:38,734 --> 00:05:40,193
Toilet training?
122
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,623
I love that one!
123
00:05:45,707 --> 00:05:47,651
I didn't hear that, Epstein.
124
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:52,198
He asked if you was
in toilet training, champ.
125
00:05:53,635 --> 00:05:55,998
Which one of you guys
gonna be the lucky corpse, huh?
126
00:05:56,081 --> 00:05:56,919
You?
127
00:05:57,003 --> 00:05:59,827
Well, uh, better not be me,
Carvelli.
128
00:05:59,847 --> 00:06:02,690
'Cause I'm half Puerto Rican,
half Jewish.
129
00:06:02,711 --> 00:06:03,969
So what?
130
00:06:04,053 --> 00:06:05,351
So?
131
00:06:05,435 --> 00:06:07,275
How would you like
to get bar mitzvah'd
132
00:06:07,358 --> 00:06:09,458
with a hubcap?
133
00:06:10,683 --> 00:06:14,464
Hey, you can't talk
to my man like that.
134
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:16,228
Your man?
135
00:06:16,386 --> 00:06:19,222
Well, you better stick close
to your man, Murray
136
00:06:19,306 --> 00:06:23,092
'cause after Friday,
you won't be spongin' him down.
137
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:25,895
You gonna be wheelin' him
around.
138
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,621
You know, you sound
exactlylike the guy
139
00:06:30,704 --> 00:06:32,662
that I fought last year.
140
00:06:32,687 --> 00:06:35,347
He's in the Guinness Book
of World Records.
141
00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:36,890
Under pain.
142
00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,133
You don't scare us, Carvelli.
143
00:06:40,216 --> 00:06:41,936
Any one of my boys here
can make you feel like
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00:06:42,019 --> 00:06:44,411
you just been through a blender.
145
00:06:44,442 --> 00:06:49,052
Yeah, how would you like it
if we frapped your face?
146
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,121
Hey, I didn't hear that,
Horshack!
147
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He asked if you liked
your face frapped, Carvelli.
148
00:06:56,356 --> 00:06:57,157
I heard!
149
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,740
Hey, Carvelli.
150
00:07:00,303 --> 00:07:03,628
I sure hope you ain't allergic
to canvas
151
00:07:03,628 --> 00:07:07,194
because that's where
you're gonna be spendin' Friday.
152
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,755
Face down!
153
00:07:09,915 --> 00:07:12,297
Are you threatening me,
Horshack?
154
00:07:12,381 --> 00:07:15,003
- This is getting out of line.
- He didn't mean it.
155
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:15,946
Out of line, huh?
156
00:07:15,947 --> 00:07:17,204
The only thing that's
gonna be out of line
157
00:07:17,205 --> 00:07:18,701
is your spine!
158
00:07:18,784 --> 00:07:20,244
Ha-ha!
159
00:07:24,002 --> 00:07:28,688
Your face is gonna be so ugly...
160
00:07:28,688 --> 00:07:31,591
...we're gonna have to
close it down on weekends.
161
00:07:34,095 --> 00:07:35,555
Alright. Alright.
162
00:07:36,178 --> 00:07:38,805
That's it, Horshack. I want you.
163
00:07:38,888 --> 00:07:40,070
Whoa, whoa.
164
00:07:40,153 --> 00:07:41,522
[indistinct chatter]
165
00:07:41,605 --> 00:07:42,626
You heard what he said.
166
00:07:42,626 --> 00:07:45,163
- Me?
- yeah, you! Mouth!
167
00:07:45,246 --> 00:07:46,206
Me?
168
00:07:46,289 --> 00:07:48,591
What did I say?
169
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:54,162
You said Carvelli will wind up
on the canvas.
170
00:07:54,245 --> 00:07:57,727
With his spine outta line.
171
00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:01,198
His face frapped
and lookin' so ugly
172
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:05,518
they close it down
on the weekend.
173
00:08:05,602 --> 00:08:07,862
If that's what I said,
that's what I said.
174
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,369
Arnold Horshack
is a man of his word.
175
00:08:10,369 --> 00:08:13,128
And you're on, Carvelli.
Give me these.
176
00:08:13,129 --> 00:08:16,044
You want to see,
you want to see training?
177
00:08:16,045 --> 00:08:20,631
The kid is gonna
show you training here.
178
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:26,745
A, my name is Arnold,
my mother's name...
179
00:08:31,791 --> 00:08:33,433
Cut that out,
you're embarrassin' us.
180
00:08:33,516 --> 00:08:35,616
Listen, if you're gonna do this,
you do this right.
181
00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:38,000
You do it like this.
182
00:08:40,265 --> 00:08:42,506
B, my name is Barbarino.
183
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,111
♪ I'll say the ba ba-ba-ba ♪
184
00:08:46,194 --> 00:08:49,538
♪ Ba ba ba Barbarino ♪♪
185
00:08:49,621 --> 00:08:52,254
Alright, alright, alright.
186
00:08:58,590 --> 00:09:01,191
Enough of this top 40 stuff.
187
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,675
Come on, Murray.
188
00:09:04,758 --> 00:09:06,934
I gotta go rent a tux...
189
00:09:06,991 --> 00:09:09,091
...for a funeral.
190
00:09:09,224 --> 00:09:11,813
♪ C my name's Carvelli... ♪♪
191
00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,075
What?
192
00:09:16,158 --> 00:09:17,720
What are you all lookin' at?
193
00:09:17,803 --> 00:09:19,943
The guy challenged me
and I accepted
194
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:22,386
what you want me to do,
run away?
195
00:09:22,469 --> 00:09:24,789
Hide out in some
foreign country?
196
00:09:24,872 --> 00:09:27,723
Now we're down to
two foreign countries.
197
00:09:27,855 --> 00:09:30,316
Afghanistan and Newark.
198
00:09:33,602 --> 00:09:35,083
Newark, huh?
199
00:09:35,547 --> 00:09:37,724
I'd rather fight Carvelli.
200
00:09:37,807 --> 00:09:39,869
Yeah, and end up
in an emergency ward.
201
00:09:39,889 --> 00:09:41,751
Look, I gave my word.
202
00:09:41,751 --> 00:09:44,591
Arnold, you can always
take back your word.
203
00:09:44,674 --> 00:09:47,578
You can't take back your teeth.
204
00:09:47,738 --> 00:09:49,838
I don't care.
205
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:51,900
How would you like to get hit
in the stomach?
206
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:54,282
So many times that
it packs up and looks
207
00:09:54,365 --> 00:09:56,465
for a new body?
208
00:09:57,866 --> 00:09:59,348
I don't care.
209
00:09:59,431 --> 00:10:02,400
That's the way it's gonna be
at the sound of that bell.
210
00:10:02,483 --> 00:10:05,673
I care, I care!
211
00:10:05,756 --> 00:10:08,840
I see my whole life flashing
before my eyes!
212
00:10:08,923 --> 00:10:11,540
And I'm not even in it.
213
00:10:11,623 --> 00:10:13,646
Arnold, calm down, alright?
214
00:10:13,729 --> 00:10:15,382
Alright, you guys stay here
for a minute.
215
00:10:15,451 --> 00:10:18,112
The rest of you,
read chapter 14 by tomorrow.
216
00:10:18,195 --> 00:10:20,741
We always read chapter 14.
217
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,403
Then read chapter seven twice.
218
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,650
Alright, I don't understand
how you let Arnold
219
00:10:30,712 --> 00:10:32,642
get himself involved in this.
220
00:10:32,642 --> 00:10:35,449
We tried to talk him out of it,
but he wouldn't listen to us.
221
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:36,892
One minute he was
Arnold Horshack
222
00:10:36,892 --> 00:10:39,264
the next minute,
the Great White Hope.
223
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:42,642
But don't worry about it,
Mr. Kotter
224
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,470
I got it all figured out.
225
00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:48,135
I'm gonna have the kid come down
with that bubonic plague.
226
00:10:51,439 --> 00:10:55,083
Hey! Don't you guys
ever listen to me?
227
00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:57,066
I am fighting Carvelli.
228
00:10:57,149 --> 00:10:58,848
Stop it, Arnold,
you're not fighting anybody.
229
00:10:58,931 --> 00:10:59,731
You hear that?
230
00:10:59,731 --> 00:11:01,111
I don't want to hear any more
about this boxing
231
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,716
and this stupid Silver Gloves
competition.
232
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,637
Oh, uh, Kotter, about
the Silver Gloves boxing match
233
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:07,899
on Friday...
234
00:11:07,982 --> 00:11:09,761
...we're gonna need
a real powerhouse in there
235
00:11:09,844 --> 00:11:11,304
against Carvelli.
236
00:11:11,566 --> 00:11:14,448
Would you settle
for a power failure?
237
00:11:16,962 --> 00:11:18,790
Now, listen, we've had
these boxing matches
238
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,088
for the past 20 years,
and you know how many times
239
00:11:21,128 --> 00:11:22,446
Buchanan has won?
240
00:11:22,529 --> 00:11:23,329
None!
241
00:11:23,412 --> 00:11:24,544
That's not true, Mr. Woodman.
242
00:11:24,614 --> 00:11:26,233
Bonzo Maretti won once.
243
00:11:26,316 --> 00:11:28,556
Eating your opponent
doesn't count.
244
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,243
Every vice principal
has some sort of trophy
245
00:11:32,326 --> 00:11:34,303
I want that trophy!
246
00:11:34,386 --> 00:11:36,229
Don't worry about it,
Mr. Woodman.
247
00:11:36,312 --> 00:11:38,512
One of us already
volunteered to box.
248
00:11:38,595 --> 00:11:39,914
You have?
249
00:11:39,997 --> 00:11:42,378
Barbarino, I'm proud of you,
go in there
250
00:11:42,461 --> 00:11:44,041
win that trophy.
251
00:11:44,124 --> 00:11:45,636
But it ain't me.
252
00:11:45,687 --> 00:11:46,767
Oh.
253
00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:48,846
Epstein. Proud of ya.
254
00:11:48,929 --> 00:11:52,213
I'm proud of you, too,
Mr. Woodman!
255
00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:54,676
But I ain't gonna fight 'em!
256
00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:57,019
Washington?
257
00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:59,614
Strike three, Mr. Woodman.
258
00:12:09,494 --> 00:12:11,234
Alright, Kotter.
259
00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:15,246
Who is it?
260
00:12:16,290 --> 00:12:19,216
Horshack wants to be the one
to fight Carvelli.
261
00:12:19,299 --> 00:12:21,399
Ha-ha-ha!
262
00:12:22,296 --> 00:12:24,396
I'm serious, Mr. Woodman.
263
00:12:24,561 --> 00:12:25,561
Horshack?
264
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:26,883
Horshack.
265
00:12:26,966 --> 00:12:28,426
Horshack.
266
00:12:29,510 --> 00:12:30,829
Kotter.
267
00:12:30,912 --> 00:12:33,133
You're a warped person.
268
00:12:33,216 --> 00:12:34,755
You're doing this
just to deprive me
269
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,418
of my trophy.
270
00:12:36,501 --> 00:12:37,860
You were warped then.
271
00:12:37,943 --> 00:12:39,642
You're warped now!
272
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:40,764
You're warped!
273
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,270
Warped! Warped!
274
00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:53,308
This has gone far enough.
275
00:12:53,391 --> 00:12:55,045
I'm calling it off.
276
00:12:55,128 --> 00:12:56,527
Call it off?
277
00:12:56,610 --> 00:13:00,113
Mr. Kotter,
you can't call it off.
278
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,656
Listen.
279
00:13:01,936 --> 00:13:04,223
All my life, people have been...
280
00:13:04,223 --> 00:13:07,024
...trying to push me aside.
281
00:13:07,107 --> 00:13:08,848
"Arnold, go to your room."
282
00:13:08,931 --> 00:13:10,953
"Arnold, go outside and play."
283
00:13:10,974 --> 00:13:14,076
"Arnold, we'll meet ya
after school."
284
00:13:14,159 --> 00:13:15,619
Mr. Kotter.
285
00:13:16,423 --> 00:13:19,011
I'm tired of being pushed aside.
286
00:13:20,034 --> 00:13:21,492
I understand, Arnold.
287
00:13:21,575 --> 00:13:23,077
But there are other ways
to prove you're a man
288
00:13:23,077 --> 00:13:26,755
besides fighting
a big starkle like Carvelli.
289
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,901
Mr. Kotter, sometimes, a man
has to stand up for himself
290
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:34,423
even though he knows he's gonna
land flat on his back.
291
00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:37,448
Haven't you ever felt like that?
292
00:13:37,530 --> 00:13:38,991
Yeah, once.
293
00:13:39,172 --> 00:13:41,239
There was this girl.
294
00:13:46,458 --> 00:13:49,040
You wanted to fight a girl?
295
00:13:50,338 --> 00:13:52,775
No, there was this girl
I really liked.
296
00:13:52,858 --> 00:13:54,772
Her name was Leylani Shapiro.
297
00:13:54,804 --> 00:13:57,845
Went out together a few times.
298
00:13:57,928 --> 00:13:59,127
One day, this guy comes up to me
299
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:01,590
big, heavyweight jock type.
300
00:14:01,673 --> 00:14:03,544
He told me that he was
Leylani's boyfriend
301
00:14:03,556 --> 00:14:04,993
and if I would continue
to see her
302
00:14:04,998 --> 00:14:08,101
he was gonna rearrange my face.
303
00:14:08,523 --> 00:14:11,063
I thought about it,
I thought about it a lot.
304
00:14:11,146 --> 00:14:13,126
What he said and...
305
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:15,689
...I knew he was gonna do
what he said.
306
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,393
So I called up Leylani and I...
307
00:14:18,476 --> 00:14:21,487
...told her I couldn't
see her anymore.
308
00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:24,333
And how did that make you feel?
309
00:14:26,537 --> 00:14:27,936
How'd that make me feel?
310
00:14:28,019 --> 00:14:30,119
I felt like...
311
00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:37,500
Arnold, if you really think
that you have to do this
312
00:14:37,531 --> 00:14:39,631
I'm behind you.
313
00:14:50,863 --> 00:14:52,321
[theme music]
314
00:14:56,193 --> 00:14:59,548
- How you doing, Freddie?
- Yo, Mr. Kotter.
315
00:14:59,631 --> 00:15:02,464
Now you know it should be
one of us fighting Carvelli.
316
00:15:02,547 --> 00:15:03,988
I mean, they bettin' Horshack
don't live
317
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,171
through the weigh-in.
318
00:15:06,471 --> 00:15:09,314
This is not a street fight.
It's a sport.
319
00:15:09,397 --> 00:15:13,619
There's a ring.
A referee, and padded gloves.
320
00:15:13,702 --> 00:15:15,884
He's gonna get killed.
321
00:15:16,343 --> 00:15:17,644
Not in a ring.
322
00:15:17,727 --> 00:15:19,346
But Freddie, if he tries
to prove himself
323
00:15:19,429 --> 00:15:21,669
in some alley, he might.
324
00:15:21,752 --> 00:15:23,375
Hey, Mr. Kotter.
325
00:15:23,458 --> 00:15:25,357
Who was that guy
with the mustache
326
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,643
and the crummy jokes,
said something about
327
00:15:27,643 --> 00:15:30,140
fightin' gets you nowhere?
328
00:15:30,223 --> 00:15:31,705
- That was me.
- Alright.
329
00:15:31,788 --> 00:15:33,567
And I still believe it.
330
00:15:33,650 --> 00:15:36,283
But this is a special case.
331
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,701
Hey, congratulations, Arnold!
332
00:15:44,784 --> 00:15:47,985
You took ten minutes
off yesterday's mile.
333
00:15:48,068 --> 00:15:49,528
I know.
334
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:53,172
The last eight blocks
I took a cab.
335
00:15:54,319 --> 00:15:55,562
Come on, Arnold.
336
00:15:55,645 --> 00:15:56,907
Fight with Carvelli's
in two days.
337
00:15:56,907 --> 00:15:58,608
You got to build up
your endurance.
338
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:01,514
Yeah, Mr. Kotter.
You work on his endurance.
339
00:16:01,597 --> 00:16:04,165
And I'll go light a candle.
340
00:16:04,248 --> 00:16:06,032
See you later, Freddie.
Bye-bye.
341
00:16:06,087 --> 00:16:07,705
- Have a good time.
- Bye.
342
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:11,214
Alright, Arnold. Let's start out
with some calisthenics.
343
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,415
- Okay.
- I want to build you up.
344
00:16:12,416 --> 00:16:13,953
When you meet Carvelli,
be in good shape.
345
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,623
Alright, the first thing
to do is push-ups.
346
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,106
- Push-ups?
- Okay, we do the hard kind.
347
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,567
You gotta clap
in the middle, okay?
348
00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:20,297
- Okay, show me.
- Now watch me.
349
00:16:20,297 --> 00:16:23,501
Get down, do your push-up.
350
00:16:23,502 --> 00:16:26,981
Clap in the middle. Okay.
351
00:16:26,982 --> 00:16:28,722
- Try it.
- Okay.
352
00:16:28,805 --> 00:16:31,378
You get down,
you do your push-up
353
00:16:31,461 --> 00:16:32,853
you clap in the middle.
354
00:16:32,853 --> 00:16:34,642
- You do your push-up...
- Okay, alright, okay.
355
00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:36,704
Very good, Arnold, very good.
356
00:16:36,927 --> 00:16:38,527
- That's good, that's good?
- Very good.
357
00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:39,672
What I want to work on now
358
00:16:39,672 --> 00:16:41,314
is something that's
really important.
359
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,677
Psyching out your opponent.
360
00:16:42,757 --> 00:16:44,917
Now all good fighters
do this, okay?
361
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,903
Now I want you to pretend
I'm Carvelli.
362
00:16:46,903 --> 00:16:49,327
Alright, now the ref
is introducing us in the ring.
363
00:16:49,347 --> 00:16:51,507
And I want you to give me
a cold, angry stare.
364
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,832
Put it right through me, okay?
365
00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:07,937
Arnold, you wanna scare him,
not date him.
366
00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:09,867
Come on, let's not
act silly about this.
367
00:17:09,867 --> 00:17:11,173
People are gonna say
you're the silliest fighter
368
00:17:11,251 --> 00:17:13,572
they ever seen.
369
00:17:17,390 --> 00:17:19,131
Until now.
370
00:17:20,238 --> 00:17:21,701
Mr. Woodman,
what are you doing here?
371
00:17:21,784 --> 00:17:24,247
Not Woodman, Kotter,
the Wanapotomy kid.
372
00:17:24,247 --> 00:17:26,804
I wanna give Horshack here
a few pointers.
373
00:17:26,888 --> 00:17:28,050
What do you know about boxing?
374
00:17:28,133 --> 00:17:30,153
Are you kiddin', Kotter,
why in my day
375
00:17:30,236 --> 00:17:32,018
I shredded the likes
of Butch Crawford
376
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:35,782
Bobo Arseni, Mimi Finklestein.
377
00:17:35,884 --> 00:17:37,302
Mimi Finklestein?
378
00:17:37,385 --> 00:17:38,865
A killer, Kotter.
379
00:17:38,948 --> 00:17:41,048
A real killer.
380
00:17:41,912 --> 00:17:43,372
Alright, Arnold.
381
00:17:43,683 --> 00:17:45,127
Just pretend this is the ring,
okay?
382
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:46,630
- Okay.
- Yeah. Alright.
383
00:17:46,714 --> 00:17:49,101
Now, I want you
to make sure of one thing.
384
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,167
When you lead,
you always lead with your left.
385
00:17:51,227 --> 00:17:52,490
Lead with your left.
386
00:17:52,511 --> 00:17:54,610
Your other left.
387
00:17:54,936 --> 00:17:57,540
Now protect your body
with your right.
388
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,039
What do you wanna do, Kotter,
get the kid killed?
389
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,021
Horshack keep your left
close to your body
390
00:18:07,022 --> 00:18:08,383
and put your right out.
391
00:18:08,384 --> 00:18:10,746
Way out. That's it.
392
00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:13,985
That's terrific, Mr. Woodman,
if he was a lawn ornament.
393
00:18:14,068 --> 00:18:15,095
Stop it, Arnold.
394
00:18:15,168 --> 00:18:17,551
Here's the basic stance
I want you to have, right?
395
00:18:17,551 --> 00:18:18,727
- Okay.
- Here's how you look.
396
00:18:18,728 --> 00:18:19,923
This way,
you won't get hurt too bad.
397
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,987
You know, you go like this.
On your toes all the time.
398
00:18:21,987 --> 00:18:24,683
Think Carvelli can slip
into right cross.
399
00:18:24,766 --> 00:18:26,548
Come on, Mr. Woodman,
if Arnold is like this
400
00:18:26,548 --> 00:18:28,471
how is Carvelli gonna slip in
a right cross?
401
00:18:28,551 --> 00:18:30,011
Like this!
402
00:18:32,272 --> 00:18:33,839
Look at it!
403
00:18:33,922 --> 00:18:37,092
Both of you down,
punched out by an old man.
404
00:18:38,647 --> 00:18:41,674
Hey. Maybe I oughta fight
Carvelli.
405
00:18:41,757 --> 00:18:45,128
[theme music]
406
00:18:54,332 --> 00:18:57,145
[bell ringing]
407
00:18:57,228 --> 00:18:59,751
Alright, may I have
your attention, please?
408
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,333
Now before we begin today's bout
409
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:03,339
I would like to introduce
410
00:19:03,339 --> 00:19:06,019
one of the past
Silver Glove Contenders
411
00:19:06,102 --> 00:19:08,888
from Buchanan High
who went on to fame
412
00:19:08,906 --> 00:19:11,866
sitting at ringside, from 1955
413
00:19:11,949 --> 00:19:13,668
Dino Crazy Delaney!
414
00:19:13,668 --> 00:19:14,864
Oh, yeah, Dino!
415
00:19:14,865 --> 00:19:18,238
Dino, Dino, Dino!
416
00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:24,064
And now, in this corner
417
00:19:24,148 --> 00:19:26,511
wearing purple trunks
418
00:19:26,594 --> 00:19:30,137
weighing 165 pounds
and foaming at the mouth...
419
00:19:31,442 --> 00:19:35,546
...from New Utrecht High,
killer Carvelli!
420
00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:47,366
And in this corner,
wearing baggy trunks
421
00:19:47,448 --> 00:19:50,869
and a look of absolute terror
422
00:19:50,953 --> 00:19:54,382
at 127 pounds
423
00:19:54,465 --> 00:19:57,185
a real good sport...
424
00:19:59,895 --> 00:20:01,994
...Sugar Arnold Horshack!
425
00:20:06,126 --> 00:20:09,783
Horshack, Horshack,
we're with you!
426
00:20:09,866 --> 00:20:12,831
Rock 'em, sock 'em,
ooh, ooh, ooh!
427
00:20:12,914 --> 00:20:14,374
Yay, Horshack!
428
00:20:19,054 --> 00:20:22,019
Carvelli, Carvelli, he's my man.
429
00:20:22,102 --> 00:20:25,000
Hey, cool it! Cool it.
430
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:26,606
You hear that?
431
00:20:26,689 --> 00:20:29,089
He said "Cool it, Murray."
432
00:20:29,172 --> 00:20:32,330
- Ain't he the great?
- Yeah!
433
00:20:32,414 --> 00:20:34,377
Alright, alright,
Arnold's the champion.
434
00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:37,463
- Yeah. He's our man.
- You're a good guy.
435
00:20:37,464 --> 00:20:39,881
Arnold, we can still
get you out of this.
436
00:20:39,965 --> 00:20:41,446
Look, I can get a note for ya.
437
00:20:41,530 --> 00:20:43,950
Just say, "Dear Carvelli,
please excuse Arnold
438
00:20:44,032 --> 00:20:47,556
for this fight.
He's allergic to traction."
439
00:20:49,512 --> 00:20:53,276
This is the moment of truth
for Arnold Horshack.
440
00:20:56,052 --> 00:20:58,119
No, no, no, Dino.
441
00:21:02,373 --> 00:21:04,874
Alright, both in the ring now,
Horshack.
442
00:21:05,392 --> 00:21:07,328
Come on, Horshack!
443
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,263
- Yay!
- Take it easy. Take it easy.
444
00:21:12,346 --> 00:21:14,609
Alright, I want this to be
a clean, honest fight.
445
00:21:14,609 --> 00:21:18,880
Carvelli, try not to kill him.
446
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,445
- Touch gloves.
- Ah!
447
00:21:20,526 --> 00:21:23,244
You're in shape,
you're alright.
448
00:21:23,245 --> 00:21:25,609
[bell dings]
449
00:21:25,693 --> 00:21:28,333
Alright, just try to remember
what I taught you, okay?
450
00:21:28,416 --> 00:21:31,039
Oh, yeah.
Doing the push-ups and clap.
451
00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,139
Come on, Horshack!
452
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,753
Come on!
453
00:21:35,708 --> 00:21:37,208
Horshack!
454
00:21:37,349 --> 00:21:38,809
Come on!
455
00:21:40,439 --> 00:21:41,899
Hit me!
456
00:21:44,443 --> 00:21:45,903
Oh, yeah!
457
00:21:46,489 --> 00:21:49,191
Come on, Carvelli,
you can't run forever!
458
00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:50,734
Yeah! Yeah!
459
00:21:57,020 --> 00:21:58,480
- Carvelli!
- Horshack!
460
00:21:58,849 --> 00:22:02,222
[clamoring]
461
00:22:13,367 --> 00:22:14,827
Yay!
462
00:22:16,458 --> 00:22:20,161
- I got 'em! I hit 'em!
- Yes, you did.
463
00:22:20,244 --> 00:22:23,147
What do you think
about us now, Mr. Carvelli?
464
00:22:26,404 --> 00:22:29,692
One, two... three...
465
00:22:29,775 --> 00:22:32,299
Come on, get up Arnold, get up!
466
00:22:32,382 --> 00:22:36,256
- Four... five... six...
- Stay down.
467
00:22:36,287 --> 00:22:39,847
Seven, eight, nine...
468
00:22:39,930 --> 00:22:41,366
...nine and a half.
469
00:22:41,449 --> 00:22:42,520
Nine and three quarters.
470
00:22:42,603 --> 00:22:44,594
Come on, get up, will ya?
471
00:22:44,595 --> 00:22:46,005
Nine and seven eighths.
472
00:22:46,006 --> 00:22:48,512
I've run out of fractions,
Horshack!
473
00:22:48,512 --> 00:22:49,553
Ten!
474
00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:51,096
The winner...
475
00:22:51,594 --> 00:22:52,782
...Killer Carvelli.
476
00:22:52,865 --> 00:22:54,325
- Yay!
- Boo!
477
00:22:56,782 --> 00:22:58,242
Killer Carvelli.
478
00:22:58,614 --> 00:23:00,205
Are you alright?
479
00:23:00,288 --> 00:23:02,710
- Is it over?
- Yeah.
480
00:23:02,730 --> 00:23:04,912
- Did I win?
- Not really.
481
00:23:04,912 --> 00:23:07,492
I didn't think so.
482
00:23:07,575 --> 00:23:09,035
Hey, Juan.
483
00:23:10,037 --> 00:23:13,518
They don't think
I took a dive, do they?
484
00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:15,623
Arnold, as far as
we're concerned
485
00:23:15,623 --> 00:23:17,945
you're the gold medal kid
with a heavyweight crown.
486
00:23:17,965 --> 00:23:20,486
- Yeah.
- Yeah, Arnold.
487
00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:24,749
You made us proud
to be Sweathogs.
488
00:23:24,832 --> 00:23:26,792
Look, Freddie, I didn't win.
489
00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:29,478
Arnold, you won as soon
as you got into that ring.
490
00:23:29,497 --> 00:23:31,919
After that, it was just a
question of who got the trophy.
491
00:23:31,919 --> 00:23:34,988
And we all know who that was.
492
00:23:35,554 --> 00:23:37,337
Hey, Arnold, you did alright!
493
00:23:37,338 --> 00:23:40,711
[cheering]
494
00:23:50,237 --> 00:23:51,809
Arnold, you did terrific,
everybody's proud of you.
495
00:23:51,891 --> 00:23:53,591
Arnold, did I ever tell ya
about my uncle who's a fighter?
496
00:23:53,592 --> 00:23:57,318
- Slapsy Maxie Carter.
- No, I don't think so.
497
00:23:57,338 --> 00:23:58,781
Oh, he was great,
he used to eat a pound
498
00:23:58,781 --> 00:24:00,844
of pickled herring
before every fight.
499
00:24:00,864 --> 00:24:03,185
Did that make him
a better fighter?
500
00:24:03,268 --> 00:24:05,851
No, but he knocked out
his opponents with his breath.
501
00:24:05,851 --> 00:24:09,223
[theme music]
502
00:24:12,506 --> 00:24:15,225
[theme music]
503
00:24:19,730 --> 00:24:22,607
♪ Welcome back ♪
504
00:24:22,690 --> 00:24:26,175
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
505
00:24:26,258 --> 00:24:28,526
♪ Welcome back ♪
506
00:24:28,609 --> 00:24:33,269
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
507
00:24:33,352 --> 00:24:35,358
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
508
00:24:35,441 --> 00:24:37,665
♪ Since you hung around ♪
509
00:24:37,748 --> 00:24:39,711
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
510
00:24:39,794 --> 00:24:42,278
♪ And they've turned around ♪
511
00:24:42,361 --> 00:24:44,280
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead you ♪
512
00:24:44,363 --> 00:24:45,978
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead you ♪
513
00:24:46,061 --> 00:24:48,067
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
514
00:24:48,150 --> 00:24:50,461
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
515
00:24:50,544 --> 00:24:52,375
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
516
00:24:52,458 --> 00:24:54,508
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
517
00:24:54,591 --> 00:24:56,815
♪ Welcome back ♪
518
00:24:56,898 --> 00:25:01,036
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
519
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,212
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
520
00:25:03,295 --> 00:25:05,341
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
36770
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