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1
00:00:05,027 --> 00:00:06,868
Mr. Woodman,
did I ever tell you about
2
00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:08,613
the black sheep
of my family?
3
00:00:08,696 --> 00:00:10,531
I thought that was you.
4
00:00:11,523 --> 00:00:14,789
No, the black sheep of my family
was my uncle Lefty Kotter.
5
00:00:14,872 --> 00:00:18,576
Come on, get on with it, Kotter.
I wanna watch Barney Miller.
6
00:00:19,183 --> 00:00:20,784
My Uncle Lefty was a gambler.
7
00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:23,390
One time he lost $40,000
in Las Vegas.
8
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,271
So he goes outside the casino,
he looks up at the sky
9
00:00:25,271 --> 00:00:28,753
and he says,
"Please God, I need $40,000.
10
00:00:28,774 --> 00:00:33,295
I'll never ask you for anything
again, $40,000 please."
11
00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:34,819
All of a sudden
another guy comes up and stands
12
00:00:34,819 --> 00:00:36,601
alongside of him.
Looks up and says...
13
00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:39,504
"I need $20. Please I need $20.
14
00:00:39,504 --> 00:00:42,349
I'll never ask
for anything again. I need $20."
15
00:00:42,432 --> 00:00:43,833
My Uncle Lefty,
he takes that $20
16
00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:45,488
and gives it to the other guy,
looks back up
17
00:00:45,489 --> 00:00:47,053
and says,
"Okay, now concentrate
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00:00:47,053 --> 00:00:51,165
$40,000. I need $40,000."
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00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:58,433
[theme song]
20
00:01:03,504 --> 00:01:06,292
♪ Welcome back ♪
21
00:01:06,375 --> 00:01:09,774
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
22
00:01:09,857 --> 00:01:12,212
♪ Welcome back ♪
23
00:01:12,295 --> 00:01:16,782
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
24
00:01:16,865 --> 00:01:21,395
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
25
00:01:21,478 --> 00:01:26,098
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
26
00:01:26,181 --> 00:01:28,317
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
27
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,014
♪ Who'd have
thought they'd lead ya? ♪
28
00:01:30,097 --> 00:01:32,147
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
29
00:01:32,230 --> 00:01:34,236
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
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00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:38,458
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
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00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:40,764
♪ Welcome back ♪
32
00:01:40,847 --> 00:01:42,897
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
33
00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:45,160
♪ Welcome back ♪
34
00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:47,293
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
35
00:01:47,376 --> 00:01:50,879
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
36
00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:53,516
[theme music]
37
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[indistinct chatter]
38
00:02:02,347 --> 00:02:03,807
Okay, everybody.
39
00:02:05,237 --> 00:02:07,065
My wife and I shall
service your chaperones
40
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:09,493
take out your consent forms,
we're about to depart
41
00:02:09,502 --> 00:02:11,939
on our trip to
the Museum of Natural History.
42
00:02:12,022 --> 00:02:13,022
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
43
00:02:13,023 --> 00:02:14,666
Collect those over there, Julie.
44
00:02:14,749 --> 00:02:16,592
- There you go, Mr. Kotter.
- Thank you, Vinnie.
45
00:02:16,675 --> 00:02:18,373
You know something,
Mr. Kotter
46
00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:20,318
I've never been
to a real museum before.
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00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:22,501
- Oh, good, I hope you enjoy it.
- But you know what?
48
00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:26,468
I went to a wax museum once.
49
00:02:27,875 --> 00:02:31,141
- I saw Raquel Welch.
- Good.
50
00:02:31,224 --> 00:02:34,661
You know that that wax comes off
right in your hands.
51
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,780
Next time wear gloves.
52
00:02:42,165 --> 00:02:44,149
Oh, oh, I-I'm sorry,
I'm late, Mr. Kotter.
53
00:02:44,149 --> 00:02:46,451
But Principal Lazarus
had some problems.
54
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,175
But the arrangement
for the field trip...
55
00:02:49,258 --> 00:02:51,653
...it's in the bag.
56
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:54,933
Kotter, what is your herd
doing out here?
57
00:02:55,016 --> 00:02:56,418
Don't worry, Mr. Woodman,
we're about to leave.
58
00:02:56,501 --> 00:02:59,343
- We're going to the museum.
- Oh, no, you're not.
59
00:02:59,425 --> 00:03:01,386
I changed my mind,
the last class I'd ever let go
60
00:03:01,469 --> 00:03:03,776
on a field trip are Sweathogs.
61
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,732
They're not responsible, Kotter.
62
00:03:05,815 --> 00:03:08,451
They can't be allowed
to mingle with people.
63
00:03:10,061 --> 00:03:13,364
Take them to the zoo,
so they can see family.
64
00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:18,370
Mr. Woodman, we have
two adults to supervise.
65
00:03:18,453 --> 00:03:21,607
That's right.
Two consenting adults.
66
00:03:22,397 --> 00:03:26,178
Maybe your class
requires three adults
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00:03:26,261 --> 00:03:29,851
or you can't go.
Ha ha ha.
68
00:03:30,383 --> 00:03:31,844
Eh, Mr. Woodman, you know I was
talking to Principal Lazarus
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00:03:31,927 --> 00:03:33,924
he says, you're absolutely
correct on that.
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00:03:34,007 --> 00:03:35,949
A rule's a rule.
We need three adults.
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00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:39,580
So, uh... guess
who we picked to go with us?
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00:03:39,663 --> 00:03:41,123
Who?
73
00:03:42,625 --> 00:03:43,426
Me?
74
00:03:43,509 --> 00:03:47,056
Okay, everybody,
we're going to the museum.
75
00:03:47,057 --> 00:03:48,179
[all cheering]
76
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:52,210
We shall use the buddy systems.
Everybody, pick a buddy.
77
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,683
- You're gonna be my buddy.
- Watch it!
78
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:07,466
Look, I got some ribs
in my lunchbox, we could share.
79
00:04:07,549 --> 00:04:09,552
Let's go. Come on, let's go.
Everybody, on the bus.
80
00:04:09,552 --> 00:04:11,995
Last one on the bus
is a schmendrick.
81
00:04:11,995 --> 00:04:13,938
Hold it, hold it!
82
00:04:13,958 --> 00:04:15,764
I'm no schmendrick.
83
00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:19,189
[theme music]
84
00:04:22,666 --> 00:04:25,472
[indistinct chatter]
85
00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:28,043
Hah!
86
00:04:28,613 --> 00:04:30,248
Oh, would you look at that?
87
00:04:30,332 --> 00:04:33,973
A dead ringer
for Miss Fishbeck.
88
00:04:35,534 --> 00:04:37,058
Epstein, what have
you got there?
89
00:04:37,141 --> 00:04:40,303
Oh, this?
It's for my dog, Puff.
90
00:04:40,984 --> 00:04:44,529
Is this here run-of-the-mill
average dinosaur bone?
91
00:04:44,612 --> 00:04:48,034
You're lucky the whole dinosaur
didn't come crashing down.
92
00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:50,588
[bones clattering]
93
00:04:59,822 --> 00:05:04,522
And uh, finally boys and girls,
my favorite room of all.
94
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,003
The room of magic
and superstition.
95
00:05:07,086 --> 00:05:11,895
Ooh! One, two, three.
96
00:05:20,190 --> 00:05:25,374
Hey, Arnold, do I look like
a hard-boiled egg?
97
00:05:26,510 --> 00:05:28,633
Arnold, there is
nothing to be afraid of?
98
00:05:28,717 --> 00:05:32,176
Of course, not. There's nothing
to this stuff right, Mr. Gore?
99
00:05:32,261 --> 00:05:33,721
Gore.
100
00:05:35,345 --> 00:05:37,888
You can be a non-believer
if you like, Kotter.
101
00:05:37,888 --> 00:05:41,029
But there are powers
greater than we.
102
00:05:41,112 --> 00:05:43,353
I know.
Epstein's gym lock, huh?
103
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,657
Look at all them hands. God!
104
00:05:47,740 --> 00:05:49,099
Wouldn't it be great
to have all them hands
105
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,282
in dating and driving?
106
00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:56,133
Hey, hey, that collection
of carved birds
107
00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:58,175
reallybent my mind,
you know.
108
00:05:58,175 --> 00:06:01,777
I'm gonna get me one of 'em
wooden eagles, put a motor in it
109
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:06,064
get me some wheels and... go off
to the Grand Canyon.
110
00:06:06,147 --> 00:06:07,607
Phoo!
111
00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:11,469
I hate to interrupt
this merriment...
112
00:06:11,552 --> 00:06:12,873
...the museum's
about to close
113
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,073
and there's still
a little bit of tour left.
114
00:06:15,156 --> 00:06:17,895
- Hey, Mr. Gore.
- Gore.
115
00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:19,438
Gore. Whatever.
116
00:06:20,863 --> 00:06:23,366
What is that
flying saucer thing up there?
117
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,974
Ah, this Aztec sun calendar
118
00:06:26,014 --> 00:06:29,060
has been witness
to many a gory ritual.
119
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:30,520
Gore.
120
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:44,015
Every year 20,000 Aztecs were
sacrificed to their Sun God.
121
00:06:44,098 --> 00:06:46,417
I guess that explains why
there aren't any more Aztecs.
122
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,719
[laughing]
123
00:06:48,803 --> 00:06:53,655
Mr. Kotter, may I speak
to you for a moment... alone.
124
00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:56,669
Sure.
125
00:06:57,510 --> 00:06:59,892
Okay, everybody, look around.
Don't get into trouble.
126
00:06:59,976 --> 00:07:02,135
Mr. Kotter I think
your attitude is too frivolous.
127
00:07:02,218 --> 00:07:04,438
Aztec jokes
are of bad taste.
128
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:05,732
They anger the spirits.
129
00:07:05,742 --> 00:07:08,082
Come on, Mr. Gore,
between you and I--
130
00:07:08,165 --> 00:07:09,927
Between you and me.
131
00:07:10,825 --> 00:07:13,606
I know
we're the only ones here.
132
00:07:13,689 --> 00:07:14,700
Now if you think that--
133
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,219
Grammatically,
it's between you and me.
134
00:07:17,302 --> 00:07:19,826
You're a teacher,
you should know that.
135
00:07:19,909 --> 00:07:22,151
I teach social studies.
I was never too good in English.
136
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,647
Oh, I see.
137
00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:26,154
Anyway, don't you think,
you take this mumbo-jumbo stuff
138
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,332
a little bit too seriously?
139
00:07:27,415 --> 00:07:29,458
Kotter, I'm warning you.
140
00:07:29,478 --> 00:07:33,962
There are forces here
that don't dig one-liners.
141
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,084
Mr. Gore, that is
how I teach.
142
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,193
I try to integrate a little
humor into my class.
143
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,597
I have found it has a very
positive effect on my students.
144
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,765
It maybe your class,
but it's my museum.
145
00:07:45,796 --> 00:07:48,472
[tapping]
146
00:07:57,282 --> 00:07:58,483
- Hey, Fred.
- Hey.
147
00:07:58,484 --> 00:08:01,507
Look at this huh, I didn't know
they had brothers in Egypt.
148
00:08:01,590 --> 00:08:02,893
Oh, sure,
haven't you ever heard
149
00:08:02,893 --> 00:08:05,262
of Sam the Sham
and the Pharaohs?
150
00:08:12,952 --> 00:08:14,412
Oh, wow.
151
00:08:15,898 --> 00:08:19,335
Did you get the number
of the truck that hit you?
152
00:08:23,004 --> 00:08:26,511
Get out.
Out, out, out!
153
00:08:26,594 --> 00:08:31,276
Everybody, out!
This room is for VIP's only.
154
00:08:31,359 --> 00:08:36,602
Well, you're looking at a VIP.
Vinnie Italian Person.
155
00:08:43,992 --> 00:08:45,874
Mr. Gore,
since we're here already
156
00:08:45,874 --> 00:08:48,093
why not
just continue the tour?
157
00:08:48,175 --> 00:08:50,276
- Yeah.
- Well, alright.
158
00:08:50,858 --> 00:08:54,255
But remember,
don't touch anything.
159
00:08:54,338 --> 00:08:58,123
Or you'll risk
the wrath of the Pharaoh.
160
00:08:58,203 --> 00:09:00,727
Behold, the mummy!
161
00:09:01,948 --> 00:09:06,573
- Three thousand years old.
- That's amazing.
162
00:09:06,655 --> 00:09:09,113
He doesn't
look a day over 2500.
163
00:09:14,309 --> 00:09:18,392
His name is Pew.
164
00:09:20,130 --> 00:09:21,932
I'll tell you something, if you
be wearing the same white suit
165
00:09:21,932 --> 00:09:25,348
for 3000 years
they'll call you Pluto.
166
00:09:29,298 --> 00:09:31,104
[whistling]
167
00:09:33,563 --> 00:09:35,978
[harp music]
168
00:09:41,451 --> 00:09:44,475
You know something.
You're very close to an idiot.
169
00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:49,004
I've warned you.
I've warned all of you.
170
00:09:49,687 --> 00:09:52,820
They were just joking.
They were just playing around.
171
00:09:52,903 --> 00:09:58,049
That's a nice mummy.
Nice, nice, Pew. Nice, Pew.
172
00:09:58,593 --> 00:10:00,693
Alright. Walk this way.
173
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:07,785
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Here, here.
174
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:12,750
Here is Pew's
authentic royal mummy case.
175
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:15,997
It is said, that if any
interloper dares to open
176
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:21,284
this case, the mummy will return
to punish the offender.
177
00:10:21,379 --> 00:10:23,838
[laughing]
178
00:10:26,270 --> 00:10:28,730
Look uh, Mr. Gore, I don't think
you should be imposing
179
00:10:28,813 --> 00:10:31,251
your own superstitious beliefs
on my class.
180
00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:34,816
- You don't believe me?
- No, I don't.
181
00:10:34,899 --> 00:10:39,723
Alright then... I dare you
to open it.
182
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,441
[laughing]
183
00:10:42,818 --> 00:10:45,006
You want me
to open that?
184
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:48,868
- Go ahead. Go on.
- Go ahead. Try open it up.
185
00:10:48,924 --> 00:10:51,208
[mumbling]
186
00:10:54,886 --> 00:10:56,518
[creaking]
187
00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:00,997
[groaning]
188
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,748
[Mr. Gore] Oh, great wonders, Pew.
189
00:11:02,831 --> 00:11:05,329
Oh, show yourself
to your unworthy servant.
190
00:11:05,412 --> 00:11:07,174
Oh, speak the word.
191
00:11:07,256 --> 00:11:10,558
Speak the word that will
reveal your true being.
192
00:11:10,641 --> 00:11:12,101
Hello.
193
00:11:22,756 --> 00:11:24,856
How are ya?
194
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,248
I'm Pew, the mummy.
195
00:11:28,331 --> 00:11:31,041
[laughing]
196
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,726
Horshack, will you
get out of there. Come on.
197
00:11:32,809 --> 00:11:35,585
- Get out of there.
- Hey, hey, Mr. Gore, you okay?
198
00:11:35,668 --> 00:11:37,212
[retching]
199
00:11:37,295 --> 00:11:40,179
Kotter, this is ridiculous.
No more field trips ever.
200
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:44,116
Now wake up that weirdo
and everybody back on the bus.
201
00:11:44,199 --> 00:11:46,302
Come on, Mr. Gore,
you're a grown man.
202
00:11:46,328 --> 00:11:48,268
How could you faint
over a silly superstition?
203
00:11:48,351 --> 00:11:51,196
It's the curse of Pew. Argh!
204
00:11:51,196 --> 00:11:53,978
Believe me, believe me.
Nothing is gonna happen.
205
00:11:54,618 --> 00:11:56,294
[door bangs]
206
00:11:56,586 --> 00:11:59,023
[Gore groaning]
207
00:11:59,106 --> 00:12:01,271
Hey, hey, this door
ain't got no handles.
208
00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:03,990
Hey what kind of door,
ain't got no handles?
209
00:12:04,018 --> 00:12:07,725
A door from where
the dead people live.
210
00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:09,668
Woo!
211
00:12:10,653 --> 00:12:12,753
Juan, I'm sorry.
212
00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:15,616
I am so confused.
213
00:12:22,923 --> 00:12:25,825
Come on, Mr. Gore. Wake up! Come
on. Help us get out of here.
214
00:12:25,908 --> 00:12:28,030
It's the curse of Pew.
215
00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:31,070
Nice going, Kotter.
Nice going.
216
00:12:31,153 --> 00:12:33,198
Now you got Pew mad
and I'm locked in here
217
00:12:33,235 --> 00:12:35,676
with you... Sweathogs.
218
00:12:36,619 --> 00:12:39,774
Let me out!
Let me out of here, please!
219
00:12:41,123 --> 00:12:47,749
Mr. Woodman, this is no way for
a responsible educated to act.
220
00:12:48,328 --> 00:12:52,595
Now I who am
an underachiever...
221
00:12:52,678 --> 00:12:55,240
...can get away
with this kind of thing.
222
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:56,701
Help! Help!
223
00:12:58,363 --> 00:13:00,505
- Let us out of here!
- Let us out of here!
224
00:13:03,619 --> 00:13:05,582
Alright, alright,
come on. Look, fellas. Alright.
225
00:13:05,665 --> 00:13:07,709
If somebody is here, they're
gonna come and let us out.
226
00:13:07,727 --> 00:13:11,426
Now, if they've gone home, we
might be stuck till the morning.
227
00:13:11,509 --> 00:13:14,034
See that, Juan.
It'll be alright, I promise.
228
00:13:14,117 --> 00:13:16,510
Yeah, yeah, sure. They'll let us
out in the morning.
229
00:13:16,541 --> 00:13:18,504
But we got to spend
the night in the tomb.
230
00:13:18,504 --> 00:13:22,808
[stammering] With Pew the mummy.
231
00:13:23,051 --> 00:13:25,423
[screaming]
232
00:13:28,509 --> 00:13:32,623
Wait a minute!
Wait... a... minute!
233
00:13:33,602 --> 00:13:35,864
Let's control ourselves.
234
00:13:36,528 --> 00:13:38,363
Let's not lose our heads.
235
00:13:39,172 --> 00:13:41,174
This mummy is dead.
236
00:13:41,256 --> 00:13:43,459
It's been dead
for 3000 years.
237
00:13:43,542 --> 00:13:46,605
They had the flu
3000 years ago.
238
00:13:48,552 --> 00:13:52,597
This wonderful mummy,
who you all know so well
239
00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,938
and loved so dearly
has left us.
240
00:13:55,938 --> 00:13:59,298
One of the great entertainers
of our time...
241
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,981
...who originally worked
in the Cairo theatre
242
00:14:02,064 --> 00:14:04,588
under the name of
"Smith and Mummy."
243
00:14:04,606 --> 00:14:07,653
We all remember very well
the fantastic act...
244
00:14:07,728 --> 00:14:09,882
[blabbering]
245
00:14:17,734 --> 00:14:21,183
And so this wonderful mummy,
who we all know so well
246
00:14:21,183 --> 00:14:25,371
who was a great friend
of the state of Israel
247
00:14:25,454 --> 00:14:30,654
it is with sad regret that we
all meet our doom, the Pew.
248
00:14:35,032 --> 00:14:37,425
Doomed!
We're all doomed.
249
00:14:37,508 --> 00:14:39,571
[Mr. Gore groaning]
250
00:14:39,654 --> 00:14:41,454
He's fainted again.
251
00:14:41,537 --> 00:14:43,454
How many times
can one man faint?
252
00:14:43,537 --> 00:14:45,519
Hey, Mr. Kotter, there ain't
nothing to worry about.
253
00:14:45,602 --> 00:14:48,424
We just got to get
his feet up first.
254
00:14:48,507 --> 00:14:50,750
See, what we gotta do is
we gotta get the blood
255
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:52,850
oozing back into his head.
256
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,393
Okay.
257
00:14:56,101 --> 00:14:57,561
Ooze! Ooze!
258
00:14:58,318 --> 00:15:02,297
- Where am I? What is it?
- Mr. Gore, come on, get up.
259
00:15:02,380 --> 00:15:03,441
- Mr. Gore.
- Yes.
260
00:15:03,441 --> 00:15:05,182
You were out
for a while. Look!
261
00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:08,633
Mr. Gore, while you were out
we had a tiny little problem...
262
00:15:08,716 --> 00:15:11,067
...um, the door slammed shut
263
00:15:11,128 --> 00:15:13,587
and, um, a-are we locked in here
till the morning?
264
00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:15,672
I knew it. I knew it.
I knew this would happen.
265
00:15:15,672 --> 00:15:18,091
Your joking woke
the mummy spirit and now
266
00:15:18,174 --> 00:15:21,351
the wrath of Pew has
descended on all of us.
267
00:15:21,357 --> 00:15:24,019
Come on, Mr. Gore, just tell us
how we can get out of here.
268
00:15:24,099 --> 00:15:26,942
Mr. Kotter, this is no
rinky-dink museum.
269
00:15:26,942 --> 00:15:32,025
This tomb has a built-in
fail-safe plan. Follow me.
270
00:15:33,691 --> 00:15:36,275
One pull on this tassel
will rouse the curator
271
00:15:36,275 --> 00:15:38,081
who will come immediately
to our rescue.
272
00:15:38,163 --> 00:15:41,536
Mr. Gore... you're the curator.
273
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,099
How unfortunate.
274
00:15:47,496 --> 00:15:48,956
Doomed!
275
00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:51,453
We're all doomed.
276
00:15:51,536 --> 00:15:52,979
Alright, let's sit down
and relax. Come on.
277
00:15:53,062 --> 00:15:55,245
Everybody, just sit on the
floor. Take it easy for a while.
278
00:15:55,265 --> 00:15:59,051
- Oh, wow.
- Listen, I've got a great idea.
279
00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:01,564
Let's tell ghost stories.
280
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:08,896
Well, I'm not scared.
I never get scared.
281
00:16:08,979 --> 00:16:11,523
Well, I do, Mrs. Kotter.
282
00:16:11,541 --> 00:16:15,284
We're trapped.
Trapped forever.
283
00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:19,348
And I never even got
to meet Marie Osmond.
284
00:16:21,903 --> 00:16:25,167
I dream about Marie Osmond.
285
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:27,208
Yeah? What kind of dreams?
286
00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:32,905
Ooh, just Marie and me
snuggle together.
287
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,471
And she whispers in my ear
288
00:16:36,554 --> 00:16:38,014
"Arnold
289
00:16:41,030 --> 00:16:44,098
I'm a little bit country."
290
00:16:46,424 --> 00:16:53,257
And I whisper back, "Marie... I'm
a little bit rock and roll"
291
00:17:01,906 --> 00:17:04,266
Hey, why don't we,
why don't we use these old tools
292
00:17:04,349 --> 00:17:05,549
to try and get out of here.
293
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:06,731
- Hey, that might work.
- I know.
294
00:17:06,731 --> 00:17:08,994
That's a great idea.
I'm terrific with my hands.
295
00:17:09,013 --> 00:17:11,886
No, no, no, no.
Those tools... No! No.
296
00:17:11,938 --> 00:17:14,241
Those tools are relics.
They're 3000 years old.
297
00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:16,000
They're for Pew's use only.
298
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,346
Look, Mr. Gore, if Pew
wanted to us those tools
299
00:17:18,346 --> 00:17:20,688
he would have done it by now.
300
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,790
Pew, we're gonna use your tools
we're stuck in here
301
00:17:23,873 --> 00:17:25,611
till the morning and we...
302
00:17:25,695 --> 00:17:28,251
Just use the tools.
Go ahead.
303
00:17:28,334 --> 00:17:32,900
Alright, but if we all perish,
don't come yelling to me.
304
00:17:32,984 --> 00:17:36,666
I ain't keen on holding the old
relics. Not even Mr. Woodman.
305
00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:38,849
Get bent, Barbarino.
306
00:17:40,875 --> 00:17:44,073
Alright, alright. Now, look,
we're all working together here.
307
00:17:44,157 --> 00:17:47,400
Look, we're trying to get out of
here. We'll find a way...
308
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,101
Mr. Gore, where does
this air duct lead?
309
00:17:50,185 --> 00:17:52,608
I don't know, I don't spend
as much time in this tomb
310
00:17:52,691 --> 00:17:54,888
as I'd like to.
311
00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:00,182
You know something?
312
00:18:00,265 --> 00:18:02,326
I bet a small person
could fit through there.
313
00:18:02,409 --> 00:18:05,650
Oh, I'll do it,
Mr. Kotter.
314
00:18:05,932 --> 00:18:08,376
I ain't scared.
Call me, Mr. Danger.
315
00:18:08,459 --> 00:18:09,794
Okay, Mr. Danger.
316
00:18:09,877 --> 00:18:12,560
- Be Careful...
- Alright, be careful.
317
00:18:12,643 --> 00:18:14,265
- Go ahead, Arnold.
- Alright, Arnold,
318
00:18:14,349 --> 00:18:17,712
Don't bend your nose
on anything.
319
00:18:17,795 --> 00:18:23,202
Mr. Kotter, I would not talk
about noses if I was you.
320
00:18:28,226 --> 00:18:30,627
You know, you could fit
a family of four
321
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,067
comfortably in your nose.
322
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:40,665
With room to spare for two dogs,
a cat, a mother-in-law--
323
00:18:40,748 --> 00:18:42,731
Get on now!
324
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:45,641
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
325
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,572
Get in there!
326
00:18:49,554 --> 00:18:54,342
[Arnold] Ooh! It's real dark
in here, Mr. Kotter.
327
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:58,611
I can't see where I'm going.
Where am I going?
328
00:18:58,673 --> 00:19:00,782
Wait, I think, I see.
329
00:19:00,866 --> 00:19:05,740
Yes, I see a
white... light, Mr. Kotter.
330
00:19:05,823 --> 00:19:09,227
Okay, I am crawling
towards the light.
331
00:19:09,247 --> 00:19:13,811
It's getting brighter.
Mr. Kotter, I'm near the light.
332
00:19:13,812 --> 00:19:16,357
I am gonna back up now.
333
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,363
[all cheering]
334
00:19:22,605 --> 00:19:24,606
I'm coming out.
I'm out...
335
00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:28,279
Mr. Kotter, you got to help us,
we're trapped in there!
336
00:19:33,959 --> 00:19:36,847
No, we are not.
337
00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:38,866
Yes, we are.
338
00:19:39,275 --> 00:19:41,457
I'm so confused.
339
00:19:44,868 --> 00:19:46,967
We're all doomed!
340
00:19:48,516 --> 00:19:50,177
I maybe going, Kotter.
341
00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:53,429
But I'm taking
your Sweathogs with me.
342
00:19:53,430 --> 00:19:55,730
[laughing]
343
00:19:56,705 --> 00:19:59,828
You've got a strange
bunch here, Kotter.
344
00:20:00,430 --> 00:20:02,468
Look, Mr. Gore.
345
00:20:02,552 --> 00:20:05,792
You brought new meaning
to the word strange.
346
00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:07,336
Mr. Kotter...
347
00:20:08,519 --> 00:20:10,241
Look, we notice stupid stupidity
about these
348
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:13,962
stupid superstitions
...is stupid.
349
00:20:14,045 --> 00:20:16,145
But life would be a real drag
if we knew everything, right?
350
00:20:18,089 --> 00:20:22,503
Knowing everything is not
one this group's major problems.
351
00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:24,250
Look, I don't want you guys
just to blindly accept
352
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:27,642
whatever comes your way in life.
I want you to ask questions.
353
00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:29,161
Think before you believe.
354
00:20:29,244 --> 00:20:30,869
[Mr. Woodman] That's all very well, Kotter.
355
00:20:30,869 --> 00:20:33,313
About asking questions
and thinking before you believe.
356
00:20:33,397 --> 00:20:35,942
But the fact is,
the mummy is gonna get us
357
00:20:36,024 --> 00:20:38,109
if we don't get out.
358
00:20:39,349 --> 00:20:41,590
[laughing]
359
00:20:43,723 --> 00:20:47,504
However... there is one chance.
360
00:20:47,588 --> 00:20:49,427
The mummy won't harm us...
361
00:20:49,511 --> 00:20:53,174
...if we offer him
a human sacrifice.
362
00:20:53,257 --> 00:20:56,847
- A human sacrifice?
- Yes, a human sacrifice.
363
00:20:58,726 --> 00:21:00,186
Horshack.
364
00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:05,334
Get over here.
365
00:21:05,417 --> 00:21:06,478
Sorry...
366
00:21:06,561 --> 00:21:13,203
...a human sacrifice has
to be pure and untouched.
367
00:21:13,286 --> 00:21:16,984
[all] Horshack, get over here.
368
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,070
Hey, Mr. Kotter.
Mr. Kotter, come here.
369
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,451
You know, like,
what you were just sayin' about
370
00:21:20,534 --> 00:21:21,792
askin' questions and everything.
371
00:21:21,876 --> 00:21:23,518
Well, I've been asking
questions, I figured out
372
00:21:23,518 --> 00:21:25,321
how to get this this door open,
see? You know...
373
00:21:25,361 --> 00:21:27,541
I watch people, you know, when
they're building buildings.
374
00:21:27,624 --> 00:21:29,326
I ask 'em questions
and they tell me things
375
00:21:29,326 --> 00:21:31,565
about the stress and balance,
stuff like that.
376
00:21:31,648 --> 00:21:34,530
Anyway, you find
the stress parts on this door
377
00:21:34,613 --> 00:21:35,713
and we're home free.
378
00:21:35,796 --> 00:21:36,796
- Yeah?
- Yeah, you got it?
379
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:40,596
Watch out, look out.
Look out.
380
00:21:41,490 --> 00:21:44,906
[banging]
381
00:22:04,628 --> 00:22:07,503
Alright, get out of here,
everybody. Let's go.
382
00:22:07,586 --> 00:22:09,593
Back on the bus, come on.
383
00:22:09,676 --> 00:22:11,136
Alright.
384
00:22:12,152 --> 00:22:14,693
Well, Mr. Woodman...
385
00:22:14,988 --> 00:22:17,294
What do think
of my Sweathogs now, huh?
386
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:20,420
Well, you know, Kotter, I was
pretty close to doom back there.
387
00:22:20,503 --> 00:22:21,939
When a man comes
that close to the end
388
00:22:21,945 --> 00:22:23,765
he thinks about a lot of things.
389
00:22:23,848 --> 00:22:25,528
So I came to a conclusion
about you
390
00:22:25,611 --> 00:22:28,026
and your Sweathogs, Kotter.
391
00:22:29,337 --> 00:22:31,491
You're still not people.
392
00:22:32,962 --> 00:22:35,523
How I wish that door
hadn't opened.
393
00:22:35,606 --> 00:22:38,869
I was so looking forward
to becoming a mummy.
394
00:22:39,594 --> 00:22:41,094
Kotter...
395
00:22:41,294 --> 00:22:43,980
...Woodman was right
about your Sweathogs.
396
00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:45,923
They're not people.
397
00:22:46,006 --> 00:22:48,768
But then... neither am I.
398
00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:51,264
[laughing]
399
00:22:58,907 --> 00:23:01,371
Ritual, superstition...
400
00:23:02,273 --> 00:23:04,002
...it's all nonsense.
401
00:23:04,085 --> 00:23:05,890
[gasps]
402
00:23:06,861 --> 00:23:09,265
- Got ya.
- I knew it's you all the time.
403
00:23:09,348 --> 00:23:10,648
- You did not.
- I knew it was you.
404
00:23:10,648 --> 00:23:13,156
- I know it was your hands.
- You jumped...
405
00:23:13,239 --> 00:23:14,810
You jumped a mile.
406
00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:15,693
[indistinct chatter]
407
00:23:15,694 --> 00:23:18,588
[theme music]
408
00:23:21,963 --> 00:23:23,785
- Where'd you leave it?
- I don't know. Oh! Oh!
409
00:23:23,868 --> 00:23:25,268
- There it is, honey.
- Come on. Let's get it.
410
00:23:25,269 --> 00:23:27,912
- Come on, we got to travel.
- Okay.
411
00:23:27,912 --> 00:23:31,690
Did I ever tell about my uncle
who used to travel a lot?
412
00:23:31,773 --> 00:23:33,274
- Was he a salesman?
- No.
413
00:23:33,358 --> 00:23:36,075
He just liked to
get away from my aunt.
414
00:23:36,158 --> 00:23:37,724
No, no, no,
he was a salesman.
415
00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:40,588
The thing is, he never bothered
to make hotel reservations.
416
00:23:40,671 --> 00:23:43,551
Well, he must have lost out
on a lot of rooms?
417
00:23:43,634 --> 00:23:45,096
No, he had
this terrific strategy, you see.
418
00:23:45,096 --> 00:23:47,295
He gets to a hotel and they
said, "We don't have any rooms."
419
00:23:47,378 --> 00:23:48,987
He said, "What do you mean you
don't have any rooms?
420
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,980
"Suppose the President of United
States called up for a room.
421
00:23:51,063 --> 00:23:53,643
Would you have a room for the
President of United States?"
422
00:23:53,726 --> 00:23:55,808
That guy said "If the President
of United States called up
423
00:23:55,808 --> 00:23:58,088
we'd have a room." He said,
"Well, I just spoke to him.
424
00:23:58,171 --> 00:24:01,074
He's not coming
so let me have his room."
425
00:24:01,609 --> 00:24:04,503
[theme music]
426
00:24:09,269 --> 00:24:11,031
[theme song]
427
00:24:16,711 --> 00:24:19,196
♪ Welcome back ♪
428
00:24:19,279 --> 00:24:23,069
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
429
00:24:23,152 --> 00:24:25,289
♪ Welcome back ♪
430
00:24:25,372 --> 00:24:27,030
♪ To that same old place ♪
431
00:24:27,113 --> 00:24:30,033
♪ That you laughed about ♪
432
00:24:30,116 --> 00:24:31,600
♪ Well the names have all ♪
433
00:24:31,683 --> 00:24:34,516
♪ Changed since you
hung around ♪
434
00:24:34,599 --> 00:24:39,042
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they're turned around ♪
435
00:24:39,125 --> 00:24:41,174
♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead
ya? ♪
436
00:24:41,257 --> 00:24:43,046
♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead
ya? ♪
437
00:24:43,129 --> 00:24:45,048
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
438
00:24:45,131 --> 00:24:47,137
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
439
00:24:47,220 --> 00:24:49,226
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
440
00:24:49,309 --> 00:24:51,402
♪ 'Cause we got him on the
spot ♪
441
00:24:51,485 --> 00:24:53,665
♪ Welcome back ♪
442
00:24:53,748 --> 00:24:57,887
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
443
00:24:57,970 --> 00:25:00,063
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
444
00:25:00,146 --> 00:25:02,195
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
445
00:25:02,278 --> 00:25:03,671
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪♪
33589
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