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1
00:00:01,432 --> 00:00:03,612
Julie, did I ever tell
you about my Uncle Cecil
2
00:00:03,695 --> 00:00:05,440
who was a highway patrolman?
3
00:00:05,523 --> 00:00:07,834
No. I didn't know
that you had an uncle
4
00:00:07,917 --> 00:00:09,706
who was a highway patrolman.
5
00:00:09,789 --> 00:00:11,577
Yes, I do,
now one day he's on the road
6
00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:13,797
and he sees this speck
in his rear-view mirror.
7
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,929
It's coming at him faster
and faster.
8
00:00:16,012 --> 00:00:18,714
Right, he looks as it goes by,
it's a guy running.
9
00:00:18,797 --> 00:00:20,717
Cecil tries
to catch up, he goes 60
10
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,371
70 miles an hour,
can't catch up to his guy.
11
00:00:23,454 --> 00:00:25,417
About five minutes later,
he's turning the road
12
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,332
he hears groaning
from the side of the road.
13
00:00:27,415 --> 00:00:28,875
Oh...
14
00:00:29,983 --> 00:00:31,443
Oh...
15
00:00:31,636 --> 00:00:33,730
He looks
and it's the same guy.
16
00:00:33,813 --> 00:00:35,557
He says, "What happened,
how'd you get here?"
17
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,240
the guy looks up
and says, "You know what it is
18
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:38,763
"to have a blowout
in your sneakers
19
00:00:38,764 --> 00:00:40,831
at 80 miles an hour?"
20
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,370
[theme song]
21
00:00:53,180 --> 00:00:55,882
♪ Welcome back ♪
22
00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:59,625
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
23
00:00:59,708 --> 00:01:01,888
♪ Welcome back ♪
24
00:01:01,971 --> 00:01:06,675
♪ To that same old
place that you laughed about ♪
25
00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:08,765
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
26
00:01:08,848 --> 00:01:11,027
♪ Since you hung around ♪
27
00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:12,943
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
28
00:01:13,026 --> 00:01:15,249
♪ And they've turned around ♪
29
00:01:15,332 --> 00:01:17,469
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
30
00:01:17,552 --> 00:01:19,514
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
31
00:01:19,597 --> 00:01:21,734
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
32
00:01:21,817 --> 00:01:23,736
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
33
00:01:23,819 --> 00:01:25,825
♪ Yeah we tease
him a lot ♪
34
00:01:25,908 --> 00:01:27,958
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
35
00:01:28,041 --> 00:01:30,308
♪ Welcome back ♪
36
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:34,703
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
37
00:01:34,786 --> 00:01:39,791
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪♪
38
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,644
[theme music]
39
00:01:56,721 --> 00:01:58,181
Okay.
40
00:01:58,593 --> 00:02:00,555
Now, a constitutional amendment
has to be
41
00:02:00,638 --> 00:02:01,638
ratified by at least two--
42
00:02:01,639 --> 00:02:04,315
[bell ringing]
43
00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:07,345
Alright, it's a fire drill,
fire drill, alright
44
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:10,060
everybody remain cool
and calm.
45
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,395
Not that calm!
46
00:02:14,478 --> 00:02:16,397
Now line up there,
single file, quietly.
47
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,138
Come on, let's go.
48
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,681
Come on.
49
00:02:20,049 --> 00:02:24,101
Right you are,
Mr. Kotter.
50
00:02:24,184 --> 00:02:26,625
At a time like this,
we should all
51
00:02:26,708 --> 00:02:29,236
have a cool head.
52
00:02:29,319 --> 00:02:30,411
Fire!
53
00:02:30,494 --> 00:02:31,954
Fire!
54
00:02:33,572 --> 00:02:34,772
Arnold, put him down,
leave him alone.
55
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,885
- I'm okay now. I'm okay.
- Arnold, Arnold.
56
00:02:36,968 --> 00:02:38,318
Just a drill Arnold,
take it easy.
57
00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:39,944
Everybody else outside,
just a drill.
58
00:02:39,944 --> 00:02:41,887
- Go to your assigned places.
- I'm okay. Oh...
59
00:02:41,907 --> 00:02:44,168
But Mr. Kotter,
when the bell rings
60
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,052
how do we know
it's a fire drill
61
00:02:46,135 --> 00:02:48,999
and not a real fire?
62
00:02:49,117 --> 00:02:50,863
I guess we don't.
63
00:02:50,946 --> 00:02:52,456
That's what I thought.
64
00:02:52,538 --> 00:02:53,570
Fire!
65
00:02:53,653 --> 00:02:55,024
Fire!
66
00:02:55,107 --> 00:02:57,653
[indistinct chatter]
67
00:02:58,924 --> 00:03:02,210
Oh, no!
Oh, my goodness, no!
68
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,371
Hey, that's the third
fire drill this week.
69
00:03:05,454 --> 00:03:08,137
Hey, I had enough
of these dry runs.
70
00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:09,787
I think it's time
the place caught on fire
71
00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:11,142
so we can see how
it's gonna do
72
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,292
under real pressure.
73
00:03:14,234 --> 00:03:16,715
It's just a drill,
I'm okay.
74
00:03:16,798 --> 00:03:18,258
Alright, Kotter.
75
00:03:18,741 --> 00:03:22,163
Which one of you Sweathogs
turned in a false alarm?
76
00:03:22,848 --> 00:03:24,197
Mr. Woodman,
how can you be so sure
77
00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:26,130
it was one of my kids?
78
00:03:26,213 --> 00:03:28,193
You're right, Kotter,
it was unfair of me.
79
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,300
Could've been you.
80
00:03:32,223 --> 00:03:34,283
I remember when you were
a Sweathog.
81
00:03:34,366 --> 00:03:37,789
You put hot fudge
in the inkwells.
82
00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:39,351
I didn't put the hot fudge
in the inkwells
83
00:03:39,434 --> 00:03:41,775
that was Crazy Delaney.
84
00:03:41,858 --> 00:03:44,042
I ran around afterwards
and sprinkled nuts on it
85
00:03:44,125 --> 00:03:46,327
but I didn't put it...
86
00:03:46,410 --> 00:03:47,875
You did that.
87
00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:49,440
Ain't that the kind of
thing that makes you...
88
00:03:49,523 --> 00:03:51,676
- Proud of him?
- That's great.
89
00:03:51,759 --> 00:03:52,860
Thank you very much,
alright
90
00:03:52,943 --> 00:03:54,782
the drill's over,
let's go inside, come on.
91
00:03:54,865 --> 00:03:57,288
- Come on, everybody.
- Okay, everybody inside.
92
00:03:57,288 --> 00:03:59,650
Hold it, hold it.
93
00:03:59,671 --> 00:04:00,792
As long as you're all
out here
94
00:04:00,792 --> 00:04:02,894
let me, uh,
check your lockers.
95
00:04:02,914 --> 00:04:05,830
Principal Lazarus
has ordered a locker inspection.
96
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,377
What are you looking for?
97
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:11,160
Anything I can find
to nail your Sweathogs.
98
00:04:11,243 --> 00:04:13,425
Mr. Woodman, what is this,
be cruel to Sweathog day?
99
00:04:13,425 --> 00:04:17,269
Kotter, every day is
be cruel to Sweathog day.
100
00:04:21,346 --> 00:04:24,632
This is my locker
and welcome to it.
101
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,435
Good grief!
102
00:04:29,398 --> 00:04:31,498
What is that?
103
00:04:34,505 --> 00:04:37,355
Looks like an antique banana.
104
00:04:37,932 --> 00:04:39,691
Arnold holds onto it
long enough
105
00:04:39,774 --> 00:04:41,874
it might be worth something.
106
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:46,624
I collect old fruit.
107
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,080
Strange boy, Kotter.
108
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:50,623
Very strange.
109
00:04:51,774 --> 00:04:53,097
Epstein.
110
00:04:53,181 --> 00:04:56,597
Hold it.
You got a warrant?
111
00:04:57,124 --> 00:04:59,224
I know my rights!
112
00:05:00,388 --> 00:05:01,866
What's all this?
113
00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:03,736
Those are the notes
covering my absenteeism
114
00:05:03,772 --> 00:05:05,874
for the rest of my life!
115
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:14,321
And look, you spoiled
my filing system.
116
00:05:14,404 --> 00:05:15,864
Arthritis.
117
00:05:16,587 --> 00:05:18,046
Appendicitis...
118
00:05:18,337 --> 00:05:21,250
Is this your locker, Barbarino?
119
00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:22,793
What?
120
00:05:23,476 --> 00:05:26,458
This locker,
is this your locker?
121
00:05:26,698 --> 00:05:28,157
Where?
122
00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:30,862
What, where?
123
00:05:30,983 --> 00:05:33,722
Barbarino, the only reason
you got a head
124
00:05:33,806 --> 00:05:35,605
is to separate your ears!
125
00:05:35,605 --> 00:05:38,107
[both] Ooh! Ooh!
126
00:05:40,551 --> 00:05:41,551
Separate?
127
00:05:41,634 --> 00:05:43,295
I think Woodman
just ranked you.
128
00:05:43,315 --> 00:05:45,054
Well, can I rank him back
without gettin' in trouble
129
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,996
can I do that?
130
00:05:47,079 --> 00:05:49,077
I don't know.
Can he do that?
131
00:05:49,161 --> 00:05:53,320
Sure. I used to be
pretty good at this.
132
00:05:53,403 --> 00:05:55,686
Go ahead.
Give me your best shot.
133
00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:56,801
Clam breath.
134
00:05:56,885 --> 00:05:59,212
[laughter]
135
00:06:01,158 --> 00:06:03,839
And I won't get
in no trouble.
136
00:06:03,922 --> 00:06:04,722
No.
137
00:06:04,723 --> 00:06:06,022
You mean it?
138
00:06:06,105 --> 00:06:07,847
Sure I mean it,
pepperoni puss!
139
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:10,562
[laughter]
140
00:06:11,752 --> 00:06:15,473
Well, listen, you snow-capped
leprechaun...
141
00:06:18,274 --> 00:06:19,755
...you look like somebody
played Danny boy
142
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:22,089
on your face
with an ugly stick.
143
00:06:22,172 --> 00:06:23,632
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
144
00:06:24,623 --> 00:06:26,422
Very funny, Barbarino.
145
00:06:26,505 --> 00:06:28,145
That's so funny
you can stay after school
146
00:06:28,228 --> 00:06:29,267
for two weeks.
147
00:06:29,350 --> 00:06:31,402
[overlapping chatter]
148
00:06:31,485 --> 00:06:32,751
Wait a second.
149
00:06:32,834 --> 00:06:35,155
Mr. Woodman, you told him
that it was alright.
150
00:06:35,238 --> 00:06:37,565
Just cool it, brillo head!
151
00:06:42,664 --> 00:06:44,888
Not doin' it for that.
152
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,334
It's because of this.
153
00:06:48,931 --> 00:06:51,373
What is this jacket
with "Sweathogs" on it?
154
00:06:51,456 --> 00:06:53,598
- It's nothing, nothing.
- Wait a minute.
155
00:06:53,618 --> 00:06:55,838
- Gangs wear jackets like this.
- Nah.
156
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:58,119
Yeah, well, uh,
those are our colors, you see
157
00:06:58,202 --> 00:07:00,524
as guys, we formed
a little club.
158
00:07:00,524 --> 00:07:03,063
Yeah, well, exactly what kind
of club did you form?
159
00:07:03,146 --> 00:07:05,348
Well, it must be some
terrific club
160
00:07:05,348 --> 00:07:07,430
because so far they won't
let me join.
161
00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:10,373
You just haven't been
initiated yet.
162
00:07:10,393 --> 00:07:12,274
Non-school organizations
are forbidden
163
00:07:12,274 --> 00:07:13,753
on school grounds.
164
00:07:13,836 --> 00:07:16,575
Now jackets mean gangs,
gangs mean fights
165
00:07:16,658 --> 00:07:18,834
and fights mean
bad news.
166
00:07:18,917 --> 00:07:21,340
Principal Lazarus
doesn't like bad news, Kotter.
167
00:07:21,383 --> 00:07:23,563
The last time
I brought him bad news
168
00:07:23,646 --> 00:07:25,669
he ate my tie.
169
00:07:26,226 --> 00:07:28,309
Look at this,
here's another one.
170
00:07:28,392 --> 00:07:31,037
They're not people!
171
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,600
What's with him?
172
00:07:32,683 --> 00:07:34,155
Where've you been,
Freddie?
173
00:07:34,238 --> 00:07:35,917
Oh, uh, man,
I had some trouble.
174
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,368
- Hey, you okay?
- What happened?
175
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,143
Hey man, those guys over
at New Utrecht
176
00:07:39,144 --> 00:07:40,990
said I invaded
their turf.
177
00:07:40,991 --> 00:07:41,791
Did ya?
178
00:07:41,827 --> 00:07:43,867
No, not exactly.
179
00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:46,731
Actually, I invaded
Pearl Jackson.
180
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,719
Oh.
181
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,543
Unfortunately,
she happens to live
182
00:07:50,545 --> 00:07:52,328
right in the middle
of their turf.
183
00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:53,487
But y'all don't worry.
184
00:07:53,570 --> 00:07:55,330
Old Boom knows how
to take care of himself.
185
00:07:55,413 --> 00:07:56,913
See, man, I got surrounded
by these seven
186
00:07:56,996 --> 00:07:59,172
big bad New Utrecht cats,
right man--
187
00:07:59,256 --> 00:08:00,619
Wait, wait,
wait a second.
188
00:08:00,702 --> 00:08:02,617
There was seven of 'em?
189
00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:06,431
Either there was seven
or two, I don't know.
190
00:08:06,514 --> 00:08:08,952
Anyway, I looked 'em right
in the eye
191
00:08:09,035 --> 00:08:11,135
and then I'll say...
192
00:08:11,339 --> 00:08:12,979
"Hi there."
193
00:08:16,835 --> 00:08:18,901
They don't say nothin'.
194
00:08:18,984 --> 00:08:20,768
They just look at me mean.
195
00:08:20,809 --> 00:08:22,511
So I holds my ground.
196
00:08:22,594 --> 00:08:24,657
And I look them straight back
in the eye one more time
197
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:26,663
and then I said to them...
198
00:08:26,746 --> 00:08:28,206
"Bye there."
199
00:08:30,337 --> 00:08:31,425
[indistinct chatter]
200
00:08:31,508 --> 00:08:33,074
Everybody back in class.
201
00:08:33,157 --> 00:08:35,159
So what are you gonna
do about this? [indistinct]
202
00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:38,582
Don't you guys realize
that if you walk around
203
00:08:38,654 --> 00:08:42,234
with jackets like this,
you're just asking for trouble?
204
00:08:42,317 --> 00:08:43,517
I want you to listen to me.
205
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,459
Sooner or later,
somebody's really
206
00:08:45,542 --> 00:08:47,082
gonna get hurt.
207
00:08:47,165 --> 00:08:48,665
Yeah.
208
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:51,168
Especially me.
209
00:08:53,071 --> 00:08:56,400
[in unison] Yeah, especially him.
210
00:08:56,801 --> 00:08:59,477
[theme music]
211
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,969
Oh, poor baby.
212
00:09:08,052 --> 00:09:10,094
You don't look so good.
213
00:09:10,177 --> 00:09:12,277
What's the matter?
214
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,540
I'm just worried.
215
00:09:15,987 --> 00:09:19,167
Oh, honey. I was talking
to the plant.
216
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,710
Edna.
217
00:09:21,050 --> 00:09:23,193
Julie, why do you give all these
plants girls' names for?
218
00:09:23,276 --> 00:09:24,374
How do know they're girls,
what do you do
219
00:09:24,457 --> 00:09:26,611
peek under the leaves?
220
00:09:30,105 --> 00:09:31,505
Besides, it's ridiculous
for you to keep on
221
00:09:31,588 --> 00:09:33,711
talking to plants
anyway.
222
00:09:33,794 --> 00:09:37,080
Well tonight, Edna's
a lot more fun than you are.
223
00:09:38,859 --> 00:09:42,199
I'm sorry, honey, I'm just
worried about the kids.
224
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,914
- I'm worried.
- Oh.
225
00:09:45,645 --> 00:09:47,712
Excuse me, Edna.
226
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:53,430
Okay. What's the big crisis
this time?
227
00:09:53,513 --> 00:09:56,793
You have to help Horshack
break in a new lunch box?
228
00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:59,152
It's even more serious
than that.
229
00:09:59,235 --> 00:10:00,396
You're kidding.
230
00:10:00,479 --> 00:10:01,959
No, I got a problem,
Julie, the kids
231
00:10:02,021 --> 00:10:03,631
have formed a gang.
232
00:10:03,714 --> 00:10:06,109
And I don't know
what to do.
233
00:10:06,177 --> 00:10:08,577
I mean, I think there's
gonna be a rumble.
234
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:10,120
A rumble?
235
00:10:10,422 --> 00:10:12,378
What's a rumble?
236
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:13,703
Oh, I forgot.
237
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,886
You're from Nebraska.
238
00:10:17,390 --> 00:10:19,129
In Nebraska, a rumble
is when your cow
239
00:10:19,212 --> 00:10:21,410
has a gas attack.
240
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,841
A rumble is a fight.
241
00:10:29,924 --> 00:10:31,575
People hit each other.
242
00:10:31,658 --> 00:10:34,039
Person could develop
a coma.
243
00:10:34,943 --> 00:10:36,042
I remember when I was
in school
244
00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:37,225
there was this guy I knew.
245
00:10:37,225 --> 00:10:39,948
- Bonzo Maretti.
- Bonzo Maretti.
246
00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,613
Bonzo loved to rumble.
247
00:10:43,696 --> 00:10:45,576
He would fight anybody,
anything.
248
00:10:45,659 --> 00:10:47,261
Buses, buildings.
249
00:10:47,622 --> 00:10:49,082
Small towns.
250
00:10:50,026 --> 00:10:51,866
One year, for summer vacation,
he beat up everybody
251
00:10:51,949 --> 00:10:53,409
in Utah.
252
00:10:54,210 --> 00:10:55,772
[knock on door]
253
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:58,598
I think there's someone
rumbling at the door.
254
00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:18,811
- Arnold--
- Will you say I inspire fear?
255
00:11:22,358 --> 00:11:23,819
Arnold.
256
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:27,511
I gather you're joining
the gang, too?
257
00:11:28,744 --> 00:11:30,905
Do you know what it's like,
Arnold
258
00:11:30,905 --> 00:11:32,545
to be in a rumble?
259
00:11:32,628 --> 00:11:33,666
So?
260
00:11:33,749 --> 00:11:35,990
What's a rumble like?
261
00:11:36,889 --> 00:11:38,791
I want you to picture
a game of hockey.
262
00:11:38,874 --> 00:11:40,755
- Yeah.
- Big guys.
263
00:11:40,776 --> 00:11:42,876
- Oh. Ah.
- With no teeth.
264
00:11:42,998 --> 00:11:44,738
- Big sticks.
- Uh...
265
00:11:44,821 --> 00:11:47,236
And you're the puck.
266
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:52,453
Mr. Kotter,
I want to be a punk
267
00:11:52,535 --> 00:11:54,636
not a puck.
268
00:11:57,363 --> 00:11:59,463
Goodbye, Mr. Kotter.
269
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,409
Mrs. Kotter.
270
00:12:03,784 --> 00:12:05,244
Hm!
271
00:12:05,816 --> 00:12:07,419
- Arnold...
- I know!
272
00:12:07,419 --> 00:12:08,937
Such a pity!
273
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:13,766
A young man like me
cut down in his prime!
274
00:12:14,338 --> 00:12:17,775
Do you know that I just got
my first chest hair?
275
00:12:21,929 --> 00:12:25,634
If you'd like to see it,
I'll go home and get it.
276
00:12:26,738 --> 00:12:28,619
Mr. Kotter.
277
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,256
Before I go to the...
278
00:12:30,339 --> 00:12:32,318
[snapping fingers] ...rumble...
279
00:12:33,429 --> 00:12:37,149
...there's only one thing
I'd like you to do for me.
280
00:12:37,232 --> 00:12:38,354
What's that, Arn?
281
00:12:38,437 --> 00:12:41,113
Stop me from going!
282
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,691
Arnold, now that
you've greased my shirt
283
00:12:51,691 --> 00:12:54,237
would you mind oiling
my shoes?
284
00:12:55,031 --> 00:12:57,881
[theme music]
285
00:13:02,802 --> 00:13:04,222
See as soon as we initiate
Horshack he'll go off
286
00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:05,605
in front of us then
New Utrecht turkey...
287
00:13:05,606 --> 00:13:07,808
How are we gonna
initiate him?
288
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,547
I don't know,
how did we initiate you?
289
00:13:09,630 --> 00:13:13,068
Wait a minute.
Nobody initiated me, remember?
290
00:13:13,113 --> 00:13:14,829
I'm Vinnie Barbarino.
291
00:13:14,912 --> 00:13:17,871
I started the gang,
remember?
292
00:13:17,953 --> 00:13:21,119
And when you start a gang,
you got to initiate yourself.
293
00:13:21,119 --> 00:13:25,101
Which I did,
and it was very painful.
294
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:29,569
Yo, what do you gotta do
to initiate yourself?
295
00:13:29,652 --> 00:13:31,854
Oh, it was awful, really.
296
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:34,897
For a whole week solid,
every day after school
297
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,900
I'd lock myself
in my room
298
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:40,485
and watch reruns
of "Gilligan's Island."
299
00:13:42,231 --> 00:13:44,331
Oh, wow.
Vinnie.
300
00:13:44,755 --> 00:13:46,996
I had no idea.
301
00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:52,282
How about you, Freddie,
how'd you get initiated?
302
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,468
Oh, I didn't.
303
00:13:53,551 --> 00:13:54,630
I joined on Vinnie's special
304
00:13:54,713 --> 00:13:56,813
minority membership plan.
305
00:13:58,476 --> 00:14:01,221
- Great, we got a great gang.
- Yeah.
306
00:14:01,304 --> 00:14:03,407
Epstein, what are you
complainin' about?
307
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:04,967
You didn't have
to get initiated.
308
00:14:05,050 --> 00:14:07,686
Yeah, that's 'cause
I got a note here.
309
00:14:09,176 --> 00:14:10,576
- Let me read this.
- You gotta see this one.
310
00:14:10,659 --> 00:14:12,119
Go ahead.
311
00:14:12,942 --> 00:14:14,783
"Dear punk
312
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:18,826
"Please excuse Juan
from his gang initiation
313
00:14:18,826 --> 00:14:21,428
"because of an
inner ear problem.
314
00:14:21,429 --> 00:14:24,432
He hates to hear
himself scream."
315
00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:27,999
Signed, Epstein's mother.
Stupid, stupid.
316
00:14:27,999 --> 00:14:30,662
Ah. Hey look, I got
a great idea for the initiation.
317
00:14:30,663 --> 00:14:32,024
Why don't we stick
Horshack's head
318
00:14:32,024 --> 00:14:34,701
in my gym locker
for about three minutes?
319
00:14:36,866 --> 00:14:40,228
We want to initiate him,
not kill him.
320
00:14:45,454 --> 00:14:49,023
Hello, fellow delinquents.
321
00:14:49,106 --> 00:14:51,600
Alright, Horshack, you ready
for your initiation? Huh?
322
00:14:51,604 --> 00:14:54,205
Yeah, you ready
to become a man?
323
00:14:54,288 --> 00:14:56,388
Or something close.
324
00:14:56,848 --> 00:14:58,410
- Hey, start. Start!
- Go ahead, start.
325
00:14:58,493 --> 00:15:00,553
Alright, I started,
I already started.
326
00:15:00,636 --> 00:15:03,443
I just gotta get
my thoughts deranged.
327
00:15:04,859 --> 00:15:06,441
Horshack, over here!
328
00:15:06,524 --> 00:15:08,387
Frederick,
give me some water.
329
00:15:08,447 --> 00:15:10,367
Horshack, genuflect!
330
00:15:10,959 --> 00:15:12,419
Gene-who?
331
00:15:12,883 --> 00:15:16,045
I was gonna baptize him.
332
00:15:16,128 --> 00:15:18,971
It's the only thing
I could think of, alright?
333
00:15:19,054 --> 00:15:21,757
You know, being catholic
and all.
334
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,184
Horshack, you look like
a vaseline factory
335
00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:27,168
blew up on you.
336
00:15:27,168 --> 00:15:29,743
[laughs]
337
00:15:29,826 --> 00:15:32,668
Listen, Vinnie, if you're
gonna have an initiation
338
00:15:32,751 --> 00:15:35,054
why don't you initiate us
all at once?
339
00:15:35,054 --> 00:15:37,916
What do you mean all of us, man?
Whatcha talkin' about all of us?
340
00:15:37,999 --> 00:15:40,299
I brought some recruits.
341
00:15:40,382 --> 00:15:41,704
So sit down,
come on, sit down.
342
00:15:41,725 --> 00:15:42,903
- Who'd you bring?
- Recruits?
343
00:15:42,986 --> 00:15:44,549
Is this a joke,
there's recruits?
344
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,135
Epstein, I do not
see you sitting!
345
00:15:46,136 --> 00:15:49,265
I'm sitting.
I'm sitting right here.
346
00:15:49,265 --> 00:15:50,725
Okay!
347
00:15:50,810 --> 00:15:52,947
[snapping fingers]
348
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:56,359
[whistling]
349
00:16:08,563 --> 00:16:10,136
[in unison] Sweathogs!
350
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,719
Yeah!
351
00:16:15,283 --> 00:16:18,191
[snapping fingers]
352
00:16:18,274 --> 00:16:20,376
We came to join
the gang, too.
353
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,007
We can help you guys
break some heads.
354
00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:25,293
Break some heads,
what are you, crazy? Listen...
355
00:16:25,293 --> 00:16:27,393
I wouldn't do nothin'
to mar this natural beauty.
356
00:16:29,386 --> 00:16:31,039
Mr. Kotter, we were just
gonna throw the scare
357
00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:32,309
on those New Utrecht guys
on account
358
00:16:32,309 --> 00:16:33,571
of what they did
to Freddie here.
359
00:16:33,571 --> 00:16:35,753
- Yeah.
- What you bring Woodman for?
360
00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:36,693
I can't believe it.
361
00:16:36,693 --> 00:16:38,955
That's right, Kotter,
what did you bring me for?
362
00:16:38,955 --> 00:16:40,855
- Oh, good old ace over here?
- Yeah.
363
00:16:40,938 --> 00:16:41,959
He's the only one
that's got the key
364
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,117
to the nurse's office.
365
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,000
What's the difference?
366
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:48,367
Let 'em knock each other's
brains loose, pow!
367
00:16:48,450 --> 00:16:50,012
Easy, ace.
368
00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:52,814
Yeah, I'm gettin' the picture,
369
00:16:52,897 --> 00:16:54,637
they all dress up
like this, right?
370
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,620
You trying to stop us,
we ain't gonna--
371
00:16:56,703 --> 00:16:58,605
Hey, hey, no! We ain't
tryin' to stop you!
372
00:16:58,605 --> 00:16:59,965
I just remembered
what a rumble was like
373
00:17:00,048 --> 00:17:02,006
when I was school,
how exciting it was!
374
00:17:02,031 --> 00:17:04,254
I figured I could give
you guys a few pointers!
375
00:17:04,254 --> 00:17:07,677
Alright? Now, who's the first
guy that's got the chains?
376
00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:13,123
Chains. Chains, no, no,
don't got no chains on me!
377
00:17:13,123 --> 00:17:14,641
No chains,
no one using chains?
378
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:18,575
- How about some brass knuckles?
- Brass knuckles?
379
00:17:18,576 --> 00:17:20,273
Sticks, you got sticks?
380
00:17:20,274 --> 00:17:23,056
Sticks, you talkin' big time
now.
381
00:17:23,745 --> 00:17:25,399
I don't understand
you guys.
382
00:17:25,483 --> 00:17:26,782
What did you come here,
go to a rumble
383
00:17:26,865 --> 00:17:28,802
or go to a dance?
384
00:17:28,886 --> 00:17:30,128
- Dance, that's a good idea.
- Yeah...
385
00:17:30,211 --> 00:17:32,040
We'll go right now,
alright?
386
00:17:32,123 --> 00:17:34,059
Let's go to dance.
387
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:40,106
Oh.
388
00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:45,106
Looks like we don't have
to go to the dance.
389
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,308
Here's the entertainment
committee.
390
00:17:47,391 --> 00:17:48,993
I didn't think they was
gonna show up.
391
00:17:49,013 --> 00:17:50,473
Alright.
392
00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:52,310
Who's the leader here?
393
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,331
Uh...
394
00:18:01,742 --> 00:18:07,183
...we heard you all Sweathogs
was lookin' for us.
395
00:18:07,436 --> 00:18:10,019
So, uh, we thought
we'd make ourselves
396
00:18:10,019 --> 00:18:11,955
easy to find.
397
00:18:18,586 --> 00:18:20,686
You got a disease?
398
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,456
Was you lookin' for us?
399
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,000
What?
400
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,771
Was you...
401
00:18:33,494 --> 00:18:34,955
...looking...
402
00:18:35,519 --> 00:18:36,979
...for us?
403
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:39,366
Where?
404
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:43,049
I thought we was remedial.
405
00:18:43,132 --> 00:18:45,875
Hey. Enough of this
lip service here.
406
00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:47,573
I came here
for some action!
407
00:18:47,657 --> 00:18:49,176
Who's the first guy
who wants to lose control
408
00:18:49,259 --> 00:18:51,359
of his face?
409
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,061
Will you cool it?
410
00:18:54,144 --> 00:18:56,263
Who is this guy?
411
00:18:56,346 --> 00:18:58,087
He's our teacher.
412
00:19:06,297 --> 00:19:08,038
Your teacher?
413
00:19:09,145 --> 00:19:11,754
This a tough school.
414
00:19:11,838 --> 00:19:13,015
Alright, let's go.
415
00:19:13,099 --> 00:19:14,456
No, wait!
416
00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:15,540
Alright, now you can start.
417
00:19:15,623 --> 00:19:18,645
I don't like to watch him
dismember people.
418
00:19:24,175 --> 00:19:26,896
That's the oldest punk
I ever saw.
419
00:19:29,742 --> 00:19:31,841
You a senior?
420
00:19:33,748 --> 00:19:36,032
I'm the vice principal!
421
00:19:36,492 --> 00:19:38,432
Vice principal?
422
00:19:39,202 --> 00:19:41,385
This is a tough school.
423
00:19:41,468 --> 00:19:43,768
Hey, what, are you nuts?
424
00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:46,296
I'm not gonna mess
with no vice principal!
425
00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:48,475
Are ya turkey
or ya lucky?
426
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:54,330
Just be glad you didn't have
to mess with Horshack.
427
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,481
We call him
the widow maker.
428
00:20:03,564 --> 00:20:05,024
Him...
429
00:20:06,594 --> 00:20:10,336
He's already got six notches
on his lunch box.
430
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:11,879
That's right.
431
00:20:15,712 --> 00:20:19,803
And how would you
like to be number seven?
432
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,828
Hold me back.
Let me at him!
433
00:20:21,828 --> 00:20:23,721
Hey, hey, come o...
434
00:20:24,572 --> 00:20:26,032
Quorum, please.
435
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,802
There's no need
to get all worked up here.
436
00:20:28,885 --> 00:20:31,329
Breathe deep,
breathe deep.
437
00:20:31,369 --> 00:20:32,869
Relax.
438
00:20:35,618 --> 00:20:37,119
I'm sure that we can all
work out
439
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,780
our little difficulties here.
440
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,322
We no problem. We'll talk.
441
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,505
We'll talk. Tomorrow.
442
00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:46,050
Call my servants.
443
00:20:46,254 --> 00:20:48,103
We'll have lunch.
444
00:20:54,182 --> 00:20:56,184
He's the vice principal?
445
00:20:56,267 --> 00:20:57,727
That's right.
446
00:20:58,811 --> 00:21:00,709
And you're a teacher.
447
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:02,852
You got it.
448
00:21:02,936 --> 00:21:05,519
What do you teach?
449
00:21:05,602 --> 00:21:07,062
Home economics.
450
00:21:11,951 --> 00:21:14,071
This is a tough school.
451
00:21:16,355 --> 00:21:17,815
Alright!
452
00:21:25,749 --> 00:21:28,107
Well, who ya lookin' for?
453
00:21:28,190 --> 00:21:30,192
You lookin' for me?
454
00:21:30,275 --> 00:21:35,301
Well, here I am,
Vinnie Barbarino!
455
00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:38,793
Hey, Carvelli. Your mother.
Your mother--
456
00:21:38,877 --> 00:21:40,129
Alright, alright, Vinnie.
457
00:21:40,212 --> 00:21:41,169
Stop it.
458
00:21:41,253 --> 00:21:43,320
I got 'em good.
459
00:21:44,918 --> 00:21:46,378
Look.
460
00:21:46,754 --> 00:21:49,254
I came here with Mr. Woodman
and I convinced him
461
00:21:49,337 --> 00:21:51,116
to dress this way
462
00:21:51,199 --> 00:21:53,198
because we wanted to make sure
nobody would get hurt.
463
00:21:53,281 --> 00:21:55,369
I told ya, nobody was
gonna get hurt, Mr. Kotter
464
00:21:55,384 --> 00:21:57,105
we was just gonna throw
a scare into those guys--
465
00:21:57,146 --> 00:21:59,627
That's how it starts, Juan,
you try to scare them
466
00:21:59,628 --> 00:22:01,207
then they scare you
then you push them
467
00:22:01,290 --> 00:22:02,682
and they shove you.
468
00:22:02,692 --> 00:22:04,511
You do something bad to them
and they try to do something
469
00:22:04,594 --> 00:22:05,672
worse to you.
470
00:22:05,755 --> 00:22:08,856
That's the way wars
get started.
471
00:22:08,939 --> 00:22:10,898
It's the same thing
with countries.
472
00:22:10,981 --> 00:22:13,080
Head of one country says
to the head of another country
473
00:22:13,163 --> 00:22:16,463
"Off my case, tank face."
474
00:22:16,546 --> 00:22:20,786
He wise back, "Up your nose,
with Tokyo rose."
475
00:22:20,869 --> 00:22:24,655
One week later, John Wayne
is storming Iwo Jima.
476
00:22:24,738 --> 00:22:27,576
Well, I don't want no part
of nothing like that.
477
00:22:27,659 --> 00:22:29,381
Yeah, me neither.
478
00:22:29,465 --> 00:22:31,181
Hey, Mr. Kotter.
479
00:22:31,264 --> 00:22:34,750
Does this mean I don't got
to be tough no more?
480
00:22:34,833 --> 00:22:36,401
That's right, Arnold.
481
00:22:36,484 --> 00:22:37,784
Come on, we've all had
a long day.
482
00:22:37,858 --> 00:22:39,958
What do you say we, uh...
483
00:22:44,494 --> 00:22:47,162
What do you say we all
slide home?
484
00:22:47,162 --> 00:22:50,535
[snapping fingers]
485
00:22:54,287 --> 00:22:56,876
[theme music]
486
00:23:04,978 --> 00:23:06,613
Hi, honey.
487
00:23:06,696 --> 00:23:07,579
Hi, honey. Muah!
488
00:23:07,662 --> 00:23:08,704
Thanks for bringing me lunch.
489
00:23:08,724 --> 00:23:09,965
You're gonna love it.
490
00:23:10,048 --> 00:23:14,267
I made you a sandwich
of my famous tuna casserole!
491
00:23:14,350 --> 00:23:16,461
[chuckles]
492
00:23:18,004 --> 00:23:19,648
Well, go ahead, dig in.
493
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:22,867
Julie, did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Harry Kotter?
494
00:23:22,950 --> 00:23:24,452
- No.
- Harry was a soft touch.
495
00:23:24,535 --> 00:23:25,816
Anybody could sell him
anything.
496
00:23:25,816 --> 00:23:27,378
Talked like this,
"Hello, I'm Harry Kotter
497
00:23:27,378 --> 00:23:30,994
I'm a nice guy,
anybody can sell me anything."
498
00:23:31,078 --> 00:23:32,658
One time, he went to buy
a suit.
499
00:23:32,742 --> 00:23:34,638
Tried the jacket on,
and one of the sleeves
500
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,248
is longer than the other.
501
00:23:36,331 --> 00:23:37,903
Said to the salesman,
"Hey, mister, this sleeve
502
00:23:37,985 --> 00:23:40,471
"is longer than the other one,
how can I really...
503
00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:42,211
...the sleeve is long."
504
00:23:42,294 --> 00:23:44,606
The guy said, "Look,
just hold your arm like this
505
00:23:44,688 --> 00:23:46,882
and it's fine."
506
00:23:46,965 --> 00:23:48,841
Then he tries on
the pants.
507
00:23:48,924 --> 00:23:51,323
He notices that one leg
is longer than the other.
508
00:23:51,405 --> 00:23:53,499
"Mister, this leg
is longer than the other one
509
00:23:53,581 --> 00:23:55,283
"I couldn't walk down
the street with a leg
510
00:23:55,365 --> 00:23:56,907
longer than the other one."
511
00:23:56,907 --> 00:24:00,487
Guy said, "Well, just hold
your leg out like that."
512
00:24:00,571 --> 00:24:02,815
Sells him the suit,
Harry walks out of the store
513
00:24:02,898 --> 00:24:05,000
these two guys notice him
walking down the street.
514
00:24:05,083 --> 00:24:06,650
One says to the other,
"Oh, my God
515
00:24:06,726 --> 00:24:09,050
look at that unfortunate fellow
over there."
516
00:24:09,070 --> 00:24:10,670
Other guy says,
"Yeah, that's a shame.
517
00:24:10,753 --> 00:24:13,080
Look how nice
his suit fits."
518
00:24:15,074 --> 00:24:17,490
[theme music]
519
00:24:22,038 --> 00:24:24,366
[theme song]
520
00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:32,401
♪ Welcome back ♪
521
00:24:32,484 --> 00:24:36,143
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
522
00:24:36,226 --> 00:24:38,320
♪ Welcome back ♪
523
00:24:38,403 --> 00:24:43,106
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
524
00:24:43,189 --> 00:24:45,196
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
525
00:24:45,279 --> 00:24:47,416
♪ Since you hung around ♪
526
00:24:47,499 --> 00:24:49,548
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
527
00:24:49,631 --> 00:24:52,029
♪ And they've turned around ♪
528
00:24:52,112 --> 00:24:54,161
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead you ♪
529
00:24:54,244 --> 00:24:55,902
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead you ♪
530
00:24:55,985 --> 00:24:57,948
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
531
00:24:58,031 --> 00:25:00,124
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
532
00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,256
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
533
00:25:02,339 --> 00:25:04,476
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
534
00:25:04,559 --> 00:25:05,604
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
37156
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