Original subtitles

[music playing]

- [SINGING] Every day's a holiday with Hotpoint.

The dishwasher stops all your dish-washing drudgery.

Hotpoint's electric range cooks automatically.

Every day's a holiday with Hotpoint.

The refrigerator with wonderful frost-away.

Washer and dryer mean goodbye to wash day.

Hotpoint dealers bring you "The Ozzie and Harriet Show."

[theme music]

- And now, Hotpoint presents America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

with Don DeFore as Thorny.

- Hi, Mom.

- Hello, boys.

- Hi, Mom.

- David, Ricky, lunch!

- Thanks, Pop.

- OK.

Da-- [chuckles]

- Your father's lost in the sports page.

- It wasn't the sports page.

I was just reading a very funny article in the paper, though.

- What are we having for lunch, Mom?

- Don't you want to hear about this?

- Oh, sorry, Pop.

- What are we having for lunch, Mom?

- That's really funny.

What are we having for lunch, Harriet?

- What's in the paper? Sandwiches.

- Uh, it's an eclipse. - What kind?

- Ham and cheese.

- Oh.

[chuckles] Now, wait a minute.

Let's get this conversation organized.

Are we going to talk about the eclipse or lunch?

- Why don't you talk about the eclipse, Pop,

and we'll eat lunch?

- There are other things in life besides eating, you know, son.

- What's it say, dear?

- Well, it says the last time they had one of these ham

and cheeses--

Uh, an eclipse, 30 people stood around

in the park downtown waiting to see it.

Pretty funny, huh?

- What's so funny about that, Pop?

- Don't be so disrespectful, David.

If Pop says it's funny, it's funny.

- It isn't funny because I say it's funny.

It's funny because it is funny.

- Is there any mustard?

- Here you are, son.

- Well, that's sugar.

- Now that's funny.

- It's not as funny as 30 people standing around until 4 o'clock

in the morning to see an eclipse.

- I don't think that's funny.

People are interested in things like that.

- Well, why?

- Well, it's one of the wonders of nature.

They only have eclipses every once in a while.

- You don't think it's silly for all those people

to stay up until that hour to look at an eclipse?

It said some of them even rented telescopes

and served coffee and donuts and had eclipse parties.

- Well, that sounds like fun. - Fun?

- Well, sure.

I can remember a few years back when

you thought it was fun to sit up and look at the moon.

- These people just want to look at it

from a scientific viewpoint.

- Well, it doesn't matter what the reason is.

It still sounds like fun to me.

- Oh, Harriet, you must be kidding.

- Of course I'm not.

- Well, I can't see myself going out renting a telescope

and sitting up till all hours of the night

just to see a shadow on the moon.

- Well, apparently, a lot of people do.

- I've never even seen an eclipse.

- Neither have I. I haven't seen the mustard yet.

[music playing]

- Boy, that's a beauty, Pop. - Isn't it, though?

It's the latest model.

- Hey, is this a telescope?

- Yes, sir, the best one they had in the store.

- How come you went out and bought a telescope?

- Oh, I didn't buy it. I just rented it.

- How come you went out and rented a telescope?

- To watch the eclipse tonight.

- Let's see it for a second, Pop.

- A telescope! - Oh, yeah, isn't it a beauty?

I rented it.

- What for?

- For the eclipse tonight.

- Oh, are you going to look at it?

- Well, yeah, we all are.

- We are?

- Well, yeah.

You know, you were talking at lunch about how interesting it

might be, and the boys said they'd never seen an eclipse,

so I thought it'd be a lot of fun for us

all to stay up and watch it through the telescope.

- Oh, well, what time is it scheduled for?

- According to the paper, it's 2:37 AM.

- Oh, well, I'm afraid you'd better count me out, dear.

I'll be asleep by then.

I have an early appointment at the beauty shop.

- Oh?

Well, OK.

You're going to be missing out on a lot of fun, huh, Dave?

- It's kind of late for me, too, Pop.

I was thinking on getting to bed a little early.

I've been missing quite a bit of sleep lately.

- Oh... - Here, I'll take that for you.

- Suit yourself.

Well, Rick, it looks like just and your old dad.

I'll tell you what we can do, there's

a fight on television tonight.

We can look at that first, if your mother doesn't mind.

- No, it's all right with me. [buzzer]

- Oh.

- Oh, I'll get it.

- Uh, then we can catch that late movie down

at the bijou, that gets out at 1:45.

That'll get us home just about in time for the eclipse.

How's that sound to you, son?

- I've got a better idea.

I'll meet you when I get home from the dance at 2 o'clock.

- Dance? What dance?

- The one at school.

- Well, you can't stay out until 2 o'clock.

- If I can stay up till 2:30 to watch the eclipse,

why can't I stay out till 2 o'clock at the dance?

- Well, that's entirely different.

An eclipse is something of scientific value.

Besides, it seems to me 2 o'clock

is awful late to be coming home from a dance.

What time is it over?

- 12:00.

- Well, OK, why does it take you so long to get home?

- Well, I got to take this girl out to eat.

- Well, how long does that take, 20 minutes?

- It takes longer than 20 minutes

just to get a table at the beanery,

and I know the head waiter.

- OK, we'll get out of the beanery at, say, 1 o'clock.

- Then we have to wait for a bus.

They don't run very often that time of the night.

- Well, here.

Here's $1. Take a cab.

- Oh, thanks.

If you give me another dollar, we

won't have to eat at the beanery.

- Wait a minute.

How come you're going to this dance anyway?

Seems to me the last dance you went to,

you came home a half hour late.

- 28 minutes.

- OK, 28 minutes.

Didn't I say then you couldn't go to any more dances?

- Your tuxedo's back, Rick.

- Thanks, Mom.

- Now, wait a second.

Is this his tuxedo?

- Well, it's not his.

It's yours, but the tailor did a wonderful job of altering it.

- You knew he was going to this dance?

- Well, of course. Didn't you?

- Well, no, I didn't.

Harriet, I issued an ultimatum that--

- I know, dear, but didn't you know he was going to the dance?

- No, I didn't know anything about it.

Apparently, I'm the only member of the family who didn't.

It's a fine thing, a man's family gangs up on him.

- If you don't want me to go, Pop, I won't go.

- Well, yes, you've got to go now.

You've had the tuxedo altered.

- Is that an ultimatum?

- It's an ult--

uh, no, but here's an ultimatum, you

get in at a reasonable hour or no more dances.

- How about 2 o'clock?

- I think that's too late.

Don't you, Harriet?

- Well, you were going to let him stay up to see the eclipse.

- Sure, when I get home, I'll stay up and watch it with you.

- No, you go to the dance and get home at 2 o'clock

and then go up to bed.

- Gee, thanks, Pop.

- Uh, remember, Rick, you get home at 2 o'clock

or no more dances, and that's an ultimatum.

- Yes, sir.

- I'll bet he looks wonderful in your tuxedo.

You ought to take a picture of him with it on.

- OK.

Gee, don't you think 2 o'clock is awful late

for him to be getting home?

- Oh, it's just this once.

- Well, I know.

Uh, what was the latest you stayed out

when you were his age?

- 4 o'clock.

- 4 o'clock?

What were you doing out till 4 o'clock in the morning?

- Watching an eclipse with my father.

- Oh.

Harriet? - Yes, dear?

- I'm going to set the telescope up in the yard now.

- Oh, why so early?

- Well, I want to get it focused and everything.

Are you sure you won't change your mind

and watch this thing with me tonight?

- No, thank you, dear.

Here, I'll open the door for you.

- Oh, thanks.

Thank you.

- Be careful with that now.

It's heavy.

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hiya, Thorny.

- What are you doing?

- Just getting this scientific equipment lined up.

Do you mind moving out of the way, old boy?

I've got something.

What are you doing, Thorny?

I wondered with that big eye was staring at me.

Thought it was the moon.

[chuckles]

- You're a little early, though, aren't you, Oz?

- Not necessarily. Why?

- Whose window are you going to peek into?

- Oh, what are you talking about?

- Oh, you know what I'm talking about, you sly, old dog.

- Well, if you're gonna be standing around making remarks,

maybe you can be of some service.

Uh, move back a little, would you, please?

- Oh, you want me to model, huh?

All right, how's this?

- No.

No, you get back a little further.

- How's this?

- No, uh, a little higher.

No, no, not your pants.

Stand up a little higher.

Stand on the chair there.

- Oh, wait a minute.

- Oh, hey, that's a good idea.

- How's this?

- Uh, no, a little higher.

- Want me to get a nosebleed?

- Come on, just a little higher.

Ah, ah, hold it.

- How's this, old boy?

- That's perfect.

- OK, Oz, I give up.

Now, what are you looking at?

- The moon!

- The moon?

- Hey, Thorny?

- What?

- I didn't know you had a freckle

on the end of your nose.

OK, thanks a lot.

You can come down now.

- Gee, thanks, Oz.

- Hey, take it easy.

You're not getting any younger, you know?

- Say, what's all this about the moon, anyway?

Planning on taking a trip there?

- Evidently, you don't read the newspapers.

- Oh, yes, I do.

What did they say?

- Well, they say they're going to have an eclipse tonight.

- They?

- Well, yeah, as you and I, all of us, the Earth, the moon,

the universe. There's going to be an eclipse.

And they don't have an eclipse very often, you know?

- No, they don't.

- Hey, how'd you like to stay up and look at it with me

through the telescope?

- Well, it sounds like fun.

When's it going to be?

- Uh, 2:37 AM.

- Oh.

Well, Oz, I'll tell you what to do.

At 2:37 AM, you point your telescope a little this way,

and you'll be able to see me fast asleep.

[music playing]

- Dear, I'm getting sleepy.

I think I'll go to bed, if you don't mind.

- Oh, so soon?

- I thought you were going to watch television

until the eclipse.

- Well, that's what I'm doing.

See, Thorny left the shade up in his den.

- Oh.

- Why don't you stay out here with me?

There's a good picture coming on in a few minutes.

In fact, why don't you stay up and watch the eclipse

with me, huh?

- No, thank you, dear.

I really think I'd rather go to bed.

I'll tell you what, though, why don't you

take a picture of the eclipse and then

I can look at it tomorrow?

- Yeah, that's an idea.

I wanted to take a picture of Rick before he goes to dance,

anyway. - Are you kidding?

Ricky left to the dance hours ago.

- You mean to say he went to the dance

without even saying goodbye to me?

- Well, it makes you even.

You didn't take his picture.

- Well, I was busy setting this stuff up and all.

I had a lot of things to do.

- Well, so did Ricky.

It took him an hour to decide which hair oil to use--

his, yours, or David's.

- Which did he finally decide on?

- All three.

- All right, then.

Gee, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to take a picture of him

in this tux. - Oh, well.

He'll be going to other dances.

- Not unless he gets in by 2 o'clock.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- Hi, Pop.

Just came out to say good night.

- Oh, hi, Dave.

I was just looking over some of the constellations.

What time is it?

- About 12:30.

Sure wish I could stay up with you,

but I'm just too darn tired tonight.

- Oh, yeah, that's all right, son.

- Say, maybe you could take a picture of the eclipse.

- Yeah, your mother suggested the same thing.

- I don't think it'd be hard to do.

Just attach the camera to the end of the telescope.

- Yeah.

Well, maybe I'll do that.

- Well, good night, Pop.

- Good night, son.

[music playing]

[SPEAKING QUIETLY] Harriet?

Harriet!

[thud]

- What's the matter?

- What time is it?

My watch has stopped.

- A quarter after 1:00.

- Oh, thanks.

Why aren't you asleep?

- I was.

- I'm sorry.

Well, good night, dear.

[music playing]

[whistling]

- Oz.

- Thorny!

Welcome to the eclipse party.

- Do you have to make all this racket?

I'm trying to sleep.

- Racket?

What racket?

- Banging the charcoal, and this barbecue

popping corn, whistling, roasting marshmallows.

- Are you kidding?

How much noise can a roasting marshmallow make?

- Oh, Oz, go to bed.

- Go to bed yourself.

I'm going to stay up and take some pictures of the eclipse.

- Pictures? - Yeah!

Yeah, come here.

I got this deal set up.

See, at 2:37, I just flip the shutter and take a picture.

Then I'm going to have it mounted on the slide.

And tomorrow, I'll show it to the family on the big screen.

- Oz, now I know you never listen

to any of my suggestions, but I'll tell you

what I'd do if I were you.

I'd tie a string to the shutter of the camera,

run it up to my bedroom window, set the alarm for 2:37

and go to bed.

When it goes off, wake up, pull the string

and you got the picture.

- See, uh, that's the reason why I never listen

to any of your suggestions.

- It's a good thing you--

- Ah, you-- hey.

[music playing]

Good night.

- Not there, Oz!

The other window!

- Go back to sleep.

[music playing]

[alarm ringing]

[thud]

- What happened?

How come the alarm clock went off?

- Well, your father must have set it.

- What's he doing up here? - I don't know.

He was out in the yard when I went to sleep.

- Sleep?

Wait!

What time is it?

You didn't touch this string, did you?

- Touch it?

I tripped on it and fell flat on my face.

- Harriet, you shouldn't have done that!

This is attached to the camera.

I'm taking a picture of the eclipse!

I'd better go down and reset it.

[thunder crashing]

- I think it's a little late for that, Pop.

The sky's all clouded up, and it's starting to rain.

- Hey, it is starting to rain.

I'd better get the telescope and the camera out of there.

Where's my raincoat, Harriet?

- It's down in the hall closet.

[thunder crashing]

- Boy, it's really coming down now.

You know, Harriet, if the picture you took comes out,

I bet it's the only one in town with the eclipse.

- Glad to help, dear.

[thunder crashing]

- Wow, listen to that.

Hey, did Ricky get in yet?

- No, I didn't hear him come in.

- Boy, he'll be soaked.

Harriet, look at the time.

It's quarter of 3:00.

This is the last time he goes out to a dance at night.

- Now, don't jump to conclusions, dear.

He may be upstairs in bed.

Come on, let's go see.

You see, dear?

He is in bed.

- Oh, how about that?

- When you tell him to do something, he does it, usually.

- Yeah.

Poor little guy.

I feel ashamed of myself accusing

him of staying out late when he was in bed, fast asleep.

Gee, I didn't even take his picture.

- Let's go to bed, dear.

[music playing]

- Can I have some more French toast, Mom?

- Mhm, just a minute, dear.

- Well, aren't we sophisticated?

Eating breakfast at 12:30.

- I slept late.

I was tired.

- It must have been some dance last night.

- You can read about it when I publish my memoirs.

- Where's Pop?

- Oh, he went down to the drugstore

to get the picture of the eclipse.

He's having it mounted on a slide.

- Can they develop 'em that fast?

- Oh, he was down there at 8 o'clock this morning.

They promised to rush it through for him.

- Hey, I got good news. The picture came out.

- Oh, that's fine. Let me see it.

- See, there's the moon and there's

the shadow of the earth.

- It's not very clear, is it?

- Well, that's just the slide.

Wait till you see it on the screen.

Where's our projector, Dave?

- Over at Mr. Thornberry's, Pop.

- You still can't see anything.

- Well, hold it up to the light.

You can't see the moon and the shadow of the earth's surface

there?

You kicked the string just at the right time, Harriet.

Hey, you know, I think I'll phone the paper.

I'll bet that's the only picture of the eclipse in town.

- Let me see it, Mom.

- Uh, my name is Nelson.

I think I have a picture you might be interested in.

- Oh? I would?

- Yeah, see, last night, before the storm and the moon

ducked behind the clouds, I got a picture of the eclipse.

- You got a picture of the eclipse last night?

- Yeah, is it worth anything?

- Well, it's the only one in town.

- Harriet, he says it's the only one in town.

Nobody else got one, huh?

- I don't see how they could have.

The eclipse takes place tonight.

- What did he say, dear?

- Uh, uh, thank you very much.

- Is he going to buy it, Pop?

- Uh, no.

Harriet, didn't you say the eclipse

was going to be last night?

- Well, no, dear, you did.

- Who said it wasn't last night?

- Well, he did.

Well, this guy must be crazy.

I got a picture of the ecl--

uh, Dave, let me have that, would you, son?

Let's go over to Thorny's and look at this with a projector.

- Just about ready.

- Oh, wait a minute.

I want to get a good seat.

- Oz, got a slide?

Rick, will you pull those drapes?

- Wait till you see this, Thorny.

You're really going to be surprised.

There, see it?

There's the moon and there's the earth's shadow.

- Hey, it kind of looks like the man in the moon.

- Yeah.

See if I can focus that a little better.

- I think I'd better be going.

- Hey, now wait a second!

That's a picture of Ricky!

- It's a beautiful picture of Ricky.

- Yes, sneaking in the house.

What time did you trip over that string, Harriet?

- When the alarm went off.

- 2:37.

What time did you get in last night, son?

- I'd say it was about 2:37.

- Well, Rick, it looks like you got caught in the act.

- Caught in the act is right.

You know what I told you about coming

home late from the dance.

- I didn't, though, Pop.

- Oh, you did so, Rick.

You got in at 2:37.

The picture proves it.

- Yeah, but I didn't get home late from the dance.

- What do you mean?

- I made a mistake.

The dance is tonight.

- How in the world could you make a mistake like that, son?

- You know the old saying, "Like father, like son."

- OK.

Where were you until 2:37 this morning?

- I fell asleep on the girl's porch,

waiting for her to show up for our date.

- Well, Oz, it looks like he's got you on a technicality.

- You must admit, though, it's all turned out very nicely.

You promised to take a picture of Ricky in his tuxedo,

and you did.

- I still say this is pretty damaging evidence.

Now, Ricky, what have you got to say

about this incriminating picture?

- Well, I'll take a dozen 8x10s, glossy.

[music playing]

- Oh, there you are.

I've been looking all over for you.

You know, you've got me interested in the eclipse.

I think I'll stay up tonight and take a look at it

with you through the telescope.

- Oh, gee, I wish you'd thought of that before, Harriet.

That's the reason why I went downtown,

to return the telescope.

You and the boys didn't seem interested in it.

- Oh, that's a shame.

You suppose I could go down and pick it up again?

- Gee, I don't think so.

The man said a lot of people wanted them.

I'm sure he's rented it out again by now.

- Oh, wait a minute, dear. - What's the matter?

- I think we can have a look at the eclipse after all.

- Well, not without the telescope.

You can't see anything.

- Take a look at the front door.

[ending theme]

- Well, good night, folks. We'll see you again next week.

- Good night.

And remember, every day's a holiday with Hotpoint.

- Seven days a week.

- 365 days a year.

- Every day's a holiday with Hotpoint.

- The part of Burns was played by Robert B. Williams.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

This has been an ABC television network presentation.