All language subtitles for The.Adventures.Of.Ozzie.And.Harriet.S04E12.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP2.0.x264-CRFW.en

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Every day's a holiday
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Washer and dryer mean
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Hotpoint dealers bring you
"The Ozzie and Harriet Show."

[theme music]

- And now, Hotpoint presents
America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

with Don DeFore as Thorny.

- Hi, Mom.

- Hello, boys.

- Hi, Mom.

- David, Ricky, lunch!

- Thanks, Pop.

- OK.

Da-- [chuckles]

- Your father's lost
in the sports page.

- It wasn't the sports page.

I was just reading a very funny
article in the paper, though.

- What are we having
for lunch, Mom?

- Don't you want
to hear about this?

- Oh, sorry, Pop.

- What are we having
for lunch, Mom?

- That's really funny.

What are we having
for lunch, Harriet?

- What's in the paper?
Sandwiches.

- Uh, it's an eclipse.
- What kind?

- Ham and cheese.

- Oh.

[chuckles] Now, wait a minute.

Let's get this
conversation organized.

Are we going to talk about
the eclipse or lunch?

- Why don't you talk
about the eclipse, Pop,

and we'll eat lunch?

- There are other things in life
besides eating, you know, son.

- What's it say, dear?

- Well, it says the last time
they had one of these ham

and cheeses--

Uh, an eclipse, 30
people stood around

in the park downtown
waiting to see it.

Pretty funny, huh?

- What's so funny
about that, Pop?

- Don't be so
disrespectful, David.

If Pop says it's
funny, it's funny.

- It isn't funny because
I say it's funny.

It's funny because it is funny.

- Is there any mustard?

- Here you are, son.

- Well, that's sugar.

- Now that's funny.

- It's not as funny as 30 people
standing around until 4 o'clock

in the morning to
see an eclipse.

- I don't think that's funny.

People are interested
in things like that.

- Well, why?

- Well, it's one of
the wonders of nature.

They only have eclipses
every once in a while.

- You don't think it's
silly for all those people

to stay up until that hour
to look at an eclipse?

It said some of them
even rented telescopes

and served coffee and donuts
and had eclipse parties.

- Well, that sounds like fun.
- Fun?

- Well, sure.

I can remember a
few years back when

you thought it was fun to
sit up and look at the moon.

- These people just
want to look at it

from a scientific viewpoint.

- Well, it doesn't matter
what the reason is.

It still sounds like fun to me.

- Oh, Harriet, you
must be kidding.

- Of course I'm not.

- Well, I can't see myself
going out renting a telescope

and sitting up till
all hours of the night

just to see a
shadow on the moon.

- Well, apparently,
a lot of people do.

- I've never even
seen an eclipse.

- Neither have I. I haven't
seen the mustard yet.

[music playing]

- Boy, that's a beauty, Pop.
- Isn't it, though?

It's the latest model.

- Hey, is this a telescope?

- Yes, sir, the best one
they had in the store.

- How come you went out
and bought a telescope?

- Oh, I didn't buy it.
I just rented it.

- How come you went out
and rented a telescope?

- To watch the eclipse tonight.

- Let's see it
for a second, Pop.

- A telescope!
- Oh, yeah, isn't it a beauty?

I rented it.

- What for?

- For the eclipse tonight.

- Oh, are you going
to look at it?

- Well, yeah, we all are.

- We are?

- Well, yeah.

You know, you were talking at
lunch about how interesting it

might be, and the boys said
they'd never seen an eclipse,

so I thought it'd be
a lot of fun for us

all to stay up and watch
it through the telescope.

- Oh, well, what time
is it scheduled for?

- According to the
paper, it's 2:37 AM.

- Oh, well, I'm afraid you'd
better count me out, dear.

I'll be asleep by then.

I have an early appointment
at the beauty shop.

- Oh?

Well, OK.

You're going to be missing out
on a lot of fun, huh, Dave?

- It's kind of late
for me, too, Pop.

I was thinking on getting
to bed a little early.

I've been missing quite
a bit of sleep lately.

- Oh...
- Here, I'll take that for you.

- Suit yourself.

Well, Rick, it looks like
just and your old dad.

I'll tell you what
we can do, there's

a fight on television tonight.

We can look at that first,
if your mother doesn't mind.

- No, it's all right with me.
[buzzer]

- Oh.

- Oh, I'll get it.

- Uh, then we can catch
that late movie down

at the bijou, that
gets out at 1:45.

That'll get us home just
about in time for the eclipse.

How's that sound to you, son?

- I've got a better idea.

I'll meet you when I get home
from the dance at 2 o'clock.

- Dance?
What dance?

- The one at school.

- Well, you can't stay
out until 2 o'clock.

- If I can stay up till
2:30 to watch the eclipse,

why can't I stay out till
2 o'clock at the dance?

- Well, that's
entirely different.

An eclipse is something
of scientific value.

Besides, it seems
to me 2 o'clock

is awful late to be
coming home from a dance.

What time is it over?

- 12:00.

- Well, OK, why does it take
you so long to get home?

- Well, I got to take
this girl out to eat.

- Well, how long does
that take, 20 minutes?

- It takes longer
than 20 minutes

just to get a table
at the beanery,

and I know the head waiter.

- OK, we'll get out of the
beanery at, say, 1 o'clock.

- Then we have to
wait for a bus.

They don't run very often
that time of the night.

- Well, here.

Here's $1.
Take a cab.

- Oh, thanks.

If you give me
another dollar, we

won't have to eat
at the beanery.

- Wait a minute.

How come you're going
to this dance anyway?

Seems to me the last
dance you went to,

you came home a half hour late.

- 28 minutes.

- OK, 28 minutes.

Didn't I say then you couldn't
go to any more dances?

- Your tuxedo's back, Rick.

- Thanks, Mom.

- Now, wait a second.

Is this his tuxedo?

- Well, it's not his.

It's yours, but the tailor did
a wonderful job of altering it.

- You knew he was
going to this dance?

- Well, of course.
Didn't you?

- Well, no, I didn't.

Harriet, I issued
an ultimatum that--

- I know, dear, but didn't you
know he was going to the dance?

- No, I didn't know
anything about it.

Apparently, I'm the only member
of the family who didn't.

It's a fine thing, a man's
family gangs up on him.

- If you don't want me
to go, Pop, I won't go.

- Well, yes, you've
got to go now.

You've had the tuxedo altered.

- Is that an ultimatum?

- It's an ult--

uh, no, but here's
an ultimatum, you

get in at a reasonable
hour or no more dances.

- How about 2 o'clock?

- I think that's too late.

Don't you, Harriet?

- Well, you were going to let
him stay up to see the eclipse.

- Sure, when I get home, I'll
stay up and watch it with you.

- No, you go to the dance
and get home at 2 o'clock

and then go up to bed.

- Gee, thanks, Pop.

- Uh, remember, Rick,
you get home at 2 o'clock

or no more dances, and
that's an ultimatum.

- Yes, sir.

- I'll bet he looks
wonderful in your tuxedo.

You ought to take a
picture of him with it on.

- OK.

Gee, don't you think 2
o'clock is awful late

for him to be getting home?

- Oh, it's just this once.

- Well, I know.

Uh, what was the
latest you stayed out

when you were his age?

- 4 o'clock.

- 4 o'clock?

What were you doing out till
4 o'clock in the morning?

- Watching an eclipse
with my father.

- Oh.

Harriet?
- Yes, dear?

- I'm going to set the
telescope up in the yard now.

- Oh, why so early?

- Well, I want to get it
focused and everything.

Are you sure you
won't change your mind

and watch this thing
with me tonight?

- No, thank you, dear.

Here, I'll open
the door for you.

- Oh, thanks.

Thank you.

- Be careful with that now.

It's heavy.

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hiya, Thorny.

- What are you doing?

- Just getting this
scientific equipment lined up.

Do you mind moving out
of the way, old boy?

I've got something.

What are you doing, Thorny?

I wondered with that big
eye was staring at me.

Thought it was the moon.

[chuckles]

- You're a little early,
though, aren't you, Oz?

- Not necessarily.
Why?

- Whose window are you
going to peek into?

- Oh, what are
you talking about?

- Oh, you know what I'm talking
about, you sly, old dog.

- Well, if you're gonna be
standing around making remarks,

maybe you can be
of some service.

Uh, move back a little,
would you, please?

- Oh, you want me to model, huh?

All right, how's this?

- No.

No, you get back
a little further.

- How's this?

- No, uh, a little higher.

No, no, not your pants.

Stand up a little higher.

Stand on the chair there.

- Oh, wait a minute.

- Oh, hey, that's a good idea.

- How's this?

- Uh, no, a little higher.

- Want me to get a nosebleed?

- Come on, just a little higher.

Ah, ah, hold it.

- How's this, old boy?

- That's perfect.

- OK, Oz, I give up.

Now, what are you looking at?

- The moon!

- The moon?

- Hey, Thorny?

- What?

- I didn't know
you had a freckle

on the end of your nose.

OK, thanks a lot.

You can come down now.

- Gee, thanks, Oz.

- Hey, take it easy.

You're not getting
any younger, you know?

- Say, what's all this
about the moon, anyway?

Planning on taking a trip there?

- Evidently, you don't
read the newspapers.

- Oh, yes, I do.

What did they say?

- Well, they say they're going
to have an eclipse tonight.

- They?

- Well, yeah, as you and I,
all of us, the Earth, the moon,

the universe.
There's going to be an eclipse.

And they don't have an
eclipse very often, you know?

- No, they don't.

- Hey, how'd you like to stay
up and look at it with me

through the telescope?

- Well, it sounds like fun.

When's it going to be?

- Uh, 2:37 AM.

- Oh.

Well, Oz, I'll tell
you what to do.

At 2:37 AM, you point your
telescope a little this way,

and you'll be able to
see me fast asleep.

[music playing]

- Dear, I'm getting sleepy.

I think I'll go to
bed, if you don't mind.

- Oh, so soon?

- I thought you were
going to watch television

until the eclipse.

- Well, that's what I'm doing.

See, Thorny left the
shade up in his den.

- Oh.

- Why don't you stay
out here with me?

There's a good picture
coming on in a few minutes.

In fact, why don't you stay
up and watch the eclipse

with me, huh?

- No, thank you, dear.

I really think I'd
rather go to bed.

I'll tell you what,
though, why don't you

take a picture of
the eclipse and then

I can look at it tomorrow?

- Yeah, that's an idea.

I wanted to take a picture of
Rick before he goes to dance,

anyway.
- Are you kidding?

Ricky left to the
dance hours ago.

- You mean to say
he went to the dance

without even saying
goodbye to me?

- Well, it makes you even.

You didn't take his picture.

- Well, I was busy setting
this stuff up and all.

I had a lot of things to do.

- Well, so did Ricky.

It took him an hour to decide
which hair oil to use--

his, yours, or David's.

- Which did he
finally decide on?

- All three.

- All right, then.

Gee, I'm sorry I didn't get a
chance to take a picture of him

in this tux.
- Oh, well.

He'll be going to other dances.

- Not unless he gets
in by 2 o'clock.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- Hi, Pop.

Just came out to say good night.

- Oh, hi, Dave.

I was just looking over
some of the constellations.

What time is it?

- About 12:30.

Sure wish I could
stay up with you,

but I'm just too
darn tired tonight.

- Oh, yeah, that's
all right, son.

- Say, maybe you could take
a picture of the eclipse.

- Yeah, your mother
suggested the same thing.

- I don't think
it'd be hard to do.

Just attach the camera to
the end of the telescope.

- Yeah.

Well, maybe I'll do that.

- Well, good night, Pop.

- Good night, son.

[music playing]

[SPEAKING QUIETLY] Harriet?

Harriet!

[thud]

- What's the matter?

- What time is it?

My watch has stopped.

- A quarter after 1:00.

- Oh, thanks.

Why aren't you asleep?

- I was.

- I'm sorry.

Well, good night, dear.

[music playing]

[whistling]

- Oz.

- Thorny!

Welcome to the eclipse party.

- Do you have to
make all this racket?

I'm trying to sleep.

- Racket?

What racket?

- Banging the charcoal,
and this barbecue

popping corn, whistling,
roasting marshmallows.

- Are you kidding?

How much noise can a
roasting marshmallow make?

- Oh, Oz, go to bed.

- Go to bed yourself.

I'm going to stay up and take
some pictures of the eclipse.

- Pictures?
- Yeah!

Yeah, come here.

I got this deal set up.

See, at 2:37, I just flip the
shutter and take a picture.

Then I'm going to have
it mounted on the slide.

And tomorrow, I'll show it to
the family on the big screen.

- Oz, now I know
you never listen

to any of my suggestions,
but I'll tell you

what I'd do if I were you.

I'd tie a string to the
shutter of the camera,

run it up to my bedroom
window, set the alarm for 2:37

and go to bed.

When it goes off, wake
up, pull the string

and you got the picture.

- See, uh, that's the
reason why I never listen

to any of your suggestions.

- It's a good thing you--

- Ah, you-- hey.

[music playing]

Good night.

- Not there, Oz!

The other window!

- Go back to sleep.

[music playing]

[alarm ringing]

[thud]

- What happened?

How come the alarm
clock went off?

- Well, your father
must have set it.

- What's he doing up here?
- I don't know.

He was out in the yard
when I went to sleep.

- Sleep?

Wait!

What time is it?

You didn't touch
this string, did you?

- Touch it?

I tripped on it and
fell flat on my face.

- Harriet, you shouldn't
have done that!

This is attached to the camera.

I'm taking a picture
of the eclipse!

I'd better go down and reset it.

[thunder crashing]

- I think it's a little
late for that, Pop.

The sky's all clouded up,
and it's starting to rain.

- Hey, it is starting to rain.

I'd better get the telescope
and the camera out of there.

Where's my raincoat, Harriet?

- It's down in the hall closet.

[thunder crashing]

- Boy, it's really
coming down now.

You know, Harriet, if the
picture you took comes out,

I bet it's the only one
in town with the eclipse.

- Glad to help, dear.

[thunder crashing]

- Wow, listen to that.

Hey, did Ricky get in yet?

- No, I didn't hear him come in.

- Boy, he'll be soaked.

Harriet, look at the time.

It's quarter of 3:00.

This is the last time he
goes out to a dance at night.

- Now, don't jump to
conclusions, dear.

He may be upstairs in bed.

Come on, let's go see.

You see, dear?

He is in bed.

- Oh, how about that?

- When you tell him to do
something, he does it, usually.

- Yeah.

Poor little guy.

I feel ashamed of
myself accusing

him of staying out late when
he was in bed, fast asleep.

Gee, I didn't even
take his picture.

- Let's go to bed, dear.

[music playing]

- Can I have some more
French toast, Mom?

- Mhm, just a minute, dear.

- Well, aren't we sophisticated?

Eating breakfast at 12:30.

- I slept late.

I was tired.

- It must have been
some dance last night.

- You can read about it
when I publish my memoirs.

- Where's Pop?

- Oh, he went down
to the drugstore

to get the picture
of the eclipse.

He's having it
mounted on a slide.

- Can they develop
'em that fast?

- Oh, he was down there
at 8 o'clock this morning.

They promised to rush
it through for him.

- Hey, I got good news.
The picture came out.

- Oh, that's fine.
Let me see it.

- See, there's the
moon and there's

the shadow of the earth.

- It's not very clear, is it?

- Well, that's just the slide.

Wait till you see
it on the screen.

Where's our projector, Dave?

- Over at Mr. Thornberry's, Pop.

- You still can't see anything.

- Well, hold it up to the light.

You can't see the moon and the
shadow of the earth's surface

there?

You kicked the string just
at the right time, Harriet.

Hey, you know, I think
I'll phone the paper.

I'll bet that's the only
picture of the eclipse in town.

- Let me see it, Mom.

- Uh, my name is Nelson.

I think I have a picture
you might be interested in.

- Oh?
I would?

- Yeah, see, last night,
before the storm and the moon

ducked behind the clouds, I
got a picture of the eclipse.

- You got a picture of
the eclipse last night?

- Yeah, is it worth anything?

- Well, it's the
only one in town.

- Harriet, he says it's
the only one in town.

Nobody else got one, huh?

- I don't see how
they could have.

The eclipse takes place tonight.

- What did he say, dear?

- Uh, uh, thank you very much.

- Is he going to buy it, Pop?

- Uh, no.

Harriet, didn't
you say the eclipse

was going to be last night?

- Well, no, dear, you did.

- Who said it wasn't last night?

- Well, he did.

Well, this guy must be crazy.

I got a picture of the ecl--

uh, Dave, let me have
that, would you, son?

Let's go over to Thorny's and
look at this with a projector.

- Just about ready.

- Oh, wait a minute.

I want to get a good seat.

- Oz, got a slide?

Rick, will you
pull those drapes?

- Wait till you
see this, Thorny.

You're really going
to be surprised.

There, see it?

There's the moon and
there's the earth's shadow.

- Hey, it kind of looks
like the man in the moon.

- Yeah.

See if I can focus
that a little better.

- I think I'd better be going.

- Hey, now wait a second!

That's a picture of Ricky!

- It's a beautiful
picture of Ricky.

- Yes, sneaking in the house.

What time did you trip
over that string, Harriet?

- When the alarm went off.

- 2:37.

What time did you get
in last night, son?

- I'd say it was about 2:37.

- Well, Rick, it looks like
you got caught in the act.

- Caught in the act is right.

You know what I told
you about coming

home late from the dance.

- I didn't, though, Pop.

- Oh, you did so, Rick.

You got in at 2:37.

The picture proves it.

- Yeah, but I didn't get
home late from the dance.

- What do you mean?

- I made a mistake.

The dance is tonight.

- How in the world could you
make a mistake like that, son?

- You know the old saying,
"Like father, like son."

- OK.

Where were you until
2:37 this morning?

- I fell asleep on
the girl's porch,

waiting for her to
show up for our date.

- Well, Oz, it looks like he's
got you on a technicality.

- You must admit, though, it's
all turned out very nicely.

You promised to take a picture
of Ricky in his tuxedo,

and you did.

- I still say this is
pretty damaging evidence.

Now, Ricky, what
have you got to say

about this
incriminating picture?

- Well, I'll take a
dozen 8x10s, glossy.

[music playing]

- Oh, there you are.

I've been looking
all over for you.

You know, you've got me
interested in the eclipse.

I think I'll stay up tonight
and take a look at it

with you through the telescope.

- Oh, gee, I wish you'd thought
of that before, Harriet.

That's the reason
why I went downtown,

to return the telescope.

You and the boys didn't
seem interested in it.

- Oh, that's a shame.

You suppose I could go
down and pick it up again?

- Gee, I don't think so.

The man said a lot of
people wanted them.

I'm sure he's rented
it out again by now.

- Oh, wait a minute, dear.
- What's the matter?

- I think we can have a look
at the eclipse after all.

- Well, not without
the telescope.

You can't see anything.

- Take a look at the front door.

[ending theme]

- Well, good night, folks.
We'll see you again next week.

- Good night.

And remember, every day's
a holiday with Hotpoint.

- Seven days a week.

- 365 days a year.

- Every day's a
holiday with Hotpoint.

- The part of Burns was
played by Robert B. Williams.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

This has been an ABC television
network presentation.