Original subtitles

- Hi, everybody.

We've got a big surprise for you tonight.

- We sure have.

- Later on in the program, we're going to announce the four

first-prize winners of the Hotpoint Golden Anniversary

Contest.

So be sure and stick around, huh?

[theme music playing]

- [SINGING] Every day is a holiday with Hotpoint.

The dishwasher stops all your dishwashing drudgery.

Hotpoint's electric range cooks automatically.

Every day is a holiday with Hotpoint.

The refrigerator with wonderful Frost-Away.

Washer and dryer mean goodbye wash day.

Hotpoint dealers bring you "The Ozzie and Harriet Show."

[music playing]

- And now, Hotpoint presents America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

with Don DeFore as Thorny.

[music playing]

- May I be the first to congratulate you?

You just set a new world record.

You took a shower, shaved that peach fuzz off your face,

and combed your hair all in 62 minutes.

[laughter]

- What time is it?

- Where's your watch?

- It's been running slow lately. What time is it?

- Now, you see, you've been kidding me about always sending

away for stuff.

If it wasn't for my genuine Cherokee Sundial special, $3

and a quarter including postage, you

wouldn't know what time it was.

[laughter]

- OK, OK.

What time is it?

- Why don't you get your watch fixed?

- I'm having it fixed tomorrow.

What time is it?

- At the next beat of the tom tom, it will be exactly 6:52.

- Boy, I'm late.

- What you need is a valet.

- Where's my tie?

- Which one?

- The blue one with the yellow spots.

- I think Mom sent it to the cleaners.

They're trying to get the spots out of it.

[laughter]

- Think I'll wear the maroon one with the stripes.

Where is it?

- Pop borrowed it.

- Pop borrowed it? - Yeah.

Why shouldn't he? It's his tie.

[laughter]

- What tie am I going to wear?

- What girl are you going out with?

- Susan.

- The same old girl?

- Naturally.

- Well, here.

Wear the same old tie.

[laughter]

- Hmm.

You smell delightful.

- Thanks a lot.

- What have you done to your hair, dearie?

- I just combed it with water.

- It's very becoming, but they're not

wearing spit curls this season.

[laughter]

- Will you get out of the way, please?

I got to get out of here.

- So do I. I'm going out to dinner, too, you know.

- Get dressed, then.

- That's what I'm trying to do.

You see my sweatshirt?

- Sweatshirt? Where are you eating dinner?

At the gym?

- Of course not.

I'm eating at Georgie Dunkel's.

Where are you eatin' dinner at?

- Susan's house.

- Oh.

Meeting the family, huh?

- I've already met the family.

- And they invited you to dinner.

This is more serious than I thought.

When's the wedding day?

- What are you talking about?

- Well, you've been going out there for months.

You've met the family, and now they invited you to dinner.

David, let me be the first to congratulate you.

- Thanks a lot.

[music playing]

- Do you mind if I kiss the bride?

Well, honey, you're so cute.

[laughter]

- Stop acting silly, will you?

This isn't the first time I've been over to a girl's house

for dinner, you know.

- No, but it's the first time you've worn a clean shirt

and tie. [laughter]

- Will you please get out of my way?

Do you want me to be late and have Susan mad at me?

- How do you like that?

Henpecked already.

[laughter, music playing]

- Oh. Hi, Pop.

What's all the excitement? - I'm late.

- He's been invited to Susie's house for dinner tonight.

- Good night, Mom.

- Wait a minute.

Let me take a look at you.

Yes, you look very nice.

- Thanks a lot.

- Need any money, son? - No thanks, Pop.

Good night. - Good night.

[laughter]

- Why don't you watch where you're going?

- Pardon me.

Boy, that stuff he puts in his hair sure does smell.

[laughter] Goodnight, folks.

I'll see you later.

- Wait a minute.

Where are you going?

- I'm going over to the Dunkel's.

They invited me over there for dinner.

- Oh.

Well, go put on a shirt, a tie, some decent looking shoes,

and comb your hair. - Oh, gee, Mom.

It isn't informal.

- Well, maybe not, but it's civilized.

[laughter]

- I don't even think I have those kind of shirts.

- You got plenty of them.

You just look for them.

- Is everybody eating out tonight?

- I'm not. Are you?

[laughter]

- I thought we were eating home.

- Well, we are.

Here.

You can help set the table.

- It's going to be awfully lonesome here tonight.

- I'll be here.

- Well, yeah.

I mean without the boys.

- Well, you may as well get used to it, dear.

Before you know it, Ricky will be going off to college,

and David will be married.

- Are you kidding? Harry?

He's just a boy.

- Yeah, and Susan's a girl.

That's a good start.

[laughter]

- I don't think he's serious about Susan.

After all, he goes out with a lot of other girls.

- Oh, not in the last few months.

Every date he's had has been with Susan.

- Oh, I don't think it's anything to worry about.

Besides, David's too young to get married.

- Well, we were pretty young when we got married.

In fact, we get younger every time you tell about it.

[laughter]

- Well, I'm just looking out for your interest.

[laughter]

I think you're jumping to hasty conclusions.

- Well, maybe.

- Sure.

You're like all mothers.

As soon as their kids get old enough to graduate from school,

they begin worrying about when they're going to get married.

- Is this all right?

[laughter]

- What is that supposed to be?

- Mom told me to put on a tie.

- Well, yeah.

I know, but she told you put on a shirt, too.

Didn't she? - Well, this is a shirt.

Sweatshirt. [laughter]

- Where are you eating dinner?

At the gym?

- I thought that was too clever for David to think of.

[laughter] - You see, Harriet?

You worried about the boys getting married.

They can't even dress themselves.

- Who's getting married?

- David is.

Uh.

That is your mother's worried about Dave getting married.

- What's the matter, mom?

Don't you like Susan?

- Who told you about Susan?

- David.

- Oh?

- I wouldn't mind having her for a sister-in-law.

Sure.

Then if they had any children, they'd

be my nephews and nieces.

I think Uncle Rick will put on a shirt after all.

[laughter, music playing]

- He is quite a kidder.

Isn't he?

- Is he?

[laughter]

[music playing]

[music playing]

Oh.

Hi, dear. - Hi.

Uh.

Where's Dave?

- I don't know.

Do you want to see him about something?

- Well, I was just wondering where he was.

- Oh, he went out a little while ago.

- Oh?

Over to Susan's?

- I don't know he didn't say.

- Oh.

What kind of a mood was he in?

- What do you mean?

- Well, I mean, was he happy or unhappy?

- He was whistling.

- Oh.

Was he whistling a sad tune or a happy one?

- Off key.

[laughter]

- I'm sorry I didn't wait up for him last night.

- Oh, I did.

- Oh. You did?

Why?

Well, because you fell asleep.

[laughter]

- Uh.

Did he say anything to you when he came in?

- Yeah.

He said, hi, mom.

You're still awake?

[laughter] - No.

I mean did he say anything about Susan.

- Oh.

Well, he said she looked very pretty.

But when I asked him what she was wearing,

he couldn't remember.

- Oh.

That sounds kind of serious to me.

- Oh, I don't think so.

After all, he went over there for dinner last night

and evidently had a pretty good meal.

But he came home and made himself

a double-decker sandwich.

Nobody in love has an appetite like that.

[laughter]

- That's true.

They say the best indication of a man's being in love

is loss of appetite.

Oh, by the way, is lunch almost ready?

I'm starved.

[laughter, music playing]

- Hi, Oz. - Oh.

Hello, Thorny.

- Well, congratulations, old boy.

- Congratulations?

For what?

- You sly old fox.

When's the wedding?

- What wedding? - David's.

You didn't think you're going to keep it a secret, did you?

Oh, I saw him down at the jewelers store

this morning buying the ring.

- Are you sure it was David?

- Well, I wasn't sure at first.

He was wearing a tie, but he looked like David

and acted like David.

When I said, hello, David, he said, hello, Mr. Thornberry.

Now, if it wasn't David, it was someone

doing a darn good imitation. - No, no.

Now wait a minute.

Let me get this straight.

You're in the jewelry store and David was there buying a ring?

- Well, Oz, it wasn't exactly in the store.

I was outside.

- [stutters] But you did see David and he was buying a ring?

- No, no.

I saw him looking at something in the case,

and he was talking to the jeweler.

- OK.

Then what happened?

- The jeweler came outside and asked me

not to press my nose against the window.

[laughter]

- Did David buy a ring or didn't he, Thorny?

- Oz, don't get so excited.

I was only kiddin'.

I don't know whether he bought a ring or not.

I'm not even sure what he was looking at.

- [stammers] But you did see him down at the jewelry store,

and he was talking to the man, and they were standing right

by the case where they sell the rings?

- Yeah. - Uh.

Did he give the man any money?

- Oz, I couldn't see.

That's when the window started to fog up.

[laughter]

- For goodness' sake, Thorny.

This is serious!

- Oh, Oz.

What's so serious about David buying a ring?

Maybe he was buying it for himself.

- Do you think David would buy an engagement ring for himself?

- Oz, I don't know.

I was only kiddin'!

I'm sorry I brought the whole thing up.

- Pardon me.

I'd better tell Harriet about this.

- Well, I'll tell you this much, you're not much fun anymore.

[laughter, music playing]

- Harriet?

Harriet? - I'm here.

- Where? - Upstairs.

- Well, stay in one place, will you?

I'm trying--

[laughter]

- What's the matter?

- Well, Thorny said he saw David down at the jewelry store

and he was buying a ring.

- Oh?

- That is, he thought he was buying a ring.

Of course, he wasn't sure.

- Well, I am.

Look what I found on David's dresser.

Right in front of Susan's picture.

- An engagement ring.

[music playing]

[applause]

[music playing]

- You know, we're probably worrying about nothing.

After all, it's only an engagement ring.

It isn't as if they were going to rush right out

and get married.

- Well, the only thing I can't understand

is why he didn't talk it over with us first.

- Well, maybe he's just thinking it over.

After all, he hasn't given her the ring yet.

- Well, don't you think it might be a good idea

to have a little talk with him before it's too late?

Not that Susan isn't a lovely girl, but they're so young.

- Yeah?

Well, OK.

I'll do that as soon as he comes in.

- Hi, Pop.

Mom.

- Oh, Dave.

Just the guy I'm looking for.

I'd like to have a little talk with you, son.

- Well, sure, Pop. What time is it?

- Oh, it's 3:30.

- Gee.

I was supposed to pick up Susan at 4 o'clock.

Can I talk to you later?

- Well, why don't I talk to you why

you're changing your clothes?

- I don't think I'll have time to change my clothes.

I was late for dinner last night,

and I don't want to be late again.

- Well, did you have your lunch?

- No, ma'am, but that's OK.

I'm not hungry.

- [chuckles] Gee.

Says he's not hungry.

You think maybe he's feeling sick?

- Well, he doesn't look sick.

He looks happy.

In fact, he looked too happy.

- Well, that's because he does know what he's getting into.

- Now, what do you mean by that?

[laughter]

- See you later.

- Uh, Dave.

Maybe we can have a little talk when you come home for dinner.

- Gee, I don't know if I'll to be home for dinner, Pop.

I'll phone you later, Mom.

So long, Pop. - Uh.

So long, son.

Gee.

Sure was in a hurry.

Uh.

Why do you suppose he rushed up to his room like that?

- You think maybe he wanted to get something?

- You mean something like an engagement ring

to give somebody?

[music playing]

[laughter]

It's gone.

- What are we going to do?

- Well, I'll just have to have a little talk with him.

- At the rate you're going, by the time

you have a talk with him, we'll both be grandparents.

[laughter]

- Don't worry about it.

I'll wait up for him tonight, and when he comes in,

I'll just sit the boy down and have a talk with him.

[music playing]

Seen enough old movies for one night?

- Mm-hm.

- Me, too.

- I got to go upstairs to bed.

- I think I'll stay up and read the paper

until Dave comes home.

- Want me to stay up with you? - Oh, no.

No. No, thanks.

It won't be necessary. - You won't fall asleep?

- [chuckles] No.

I just like to have a little talk with them

and find out what this is all about.

- Well, goodnight, dear.

- Goodnight.

[music playing]

Where's the paper? - Right over here.

- Oh, thanks.

- Pop.

[music playing]

- May I have a talk with you, son?

- Not right now, Pop.

I'm busy.

[laughter]

- Mr. Nelson, please.

- Did you talk to him, dear? - No.

He says he's busy.

- Is there anybody here who can show just cause why

these two should not be wed?

- You better speak up, dear.

- Yes.

I can, your honor.

- What is the cause?

- Uh, well, I haven't had a chance to talk with this boy

yet.

- It's too late now.

May I have the ring?

- But the best man--

- Ricky. Gee, I'm sorry.

I must have left the ring in my other sweatshirt.

[laughter]

- You must have a ring.

- Hold it, hold it. Here it is.

Here it is.

You dropped it coming out of the jeweler store?

[laughter]

[music playing]

- I now pronounce you shirt and tie.

- Talk to him. Talk to him.

- Uh, Dave.

Just a second.

I'd like to have a little talk with you, son.

- Ozzie.

Ozzie.

Ozzie.

- OK, dear.

I'll talk to him.

- Well, you better wait until morning.

He's been in bed asleep for an hour.

[music playing]

- Oh.

[grunts] Must've dozed off.

[music playing]

- Aren't you going to tell Mom and Pop?

- No, I better wait and tell them afterwards.

- Can I go with you? - What for?

- At least somebody in the family ought to be there.

Look, I'm even wearing a tie. - Oh, OK.

Hurry up, though.

I got to pick up Susan and be at the justice of peace by 9:30.

- Do you have a license?

- Sure.

[car door slams]

[engine revs]

[laughter]

- David!

David!

- What's the matter?

- David just drove out of the driveway!

He left!

- Well, he hasn't even had his breakfast yet.

I just went out to market to get some eggs.

What in the world's happened here?

- No, Harriet.

You don't understand.

He's going to get married today.

Right now, this minute.

- Oh, you're kidding. - No, I'm not.

He's going to pick up Susie, and they're going over

to the justice of the peace! - Are you sure?

- Well, yes.

Ricky is with him.

He's even wearing a tie!

[laughter]

It's too late.

They-- they've left.

- Well, he can't get married without our permission.

Can he?

- Gee.

I don't-- he's over 18.

- Well, don't you have to be 21?

- Well, I don't know.

Gee.

I can't understand.

This isn't like David at all.

- No, it isn't.

You'd think he'd want us there.

- Maybe he's afraid you'd cry.

You know, mothers always cry at weddings.

- I just can't understand it.

He knows we like Susan.

- Oh, sure.

She's a very nice girl.

- She'd make him a good wife.

- [chuckles] Sounds strange, doesn't it?

Talking about David's wife.

- Yes, it does.

Oh, hey. Wait a minute.

They can't get married.

They haven't got a license.

- Oh, yes, they have.

I heard him say.

He's thought of everything.

Of course, we knew this was going to happen eventually.

It'll probably all turn out for the best.

- Oh, I'm sure of it.

I wonder what time the ceremony is.

- It's at 9:30.

I heard him say.

You know, as long as this is what the kids want,

I'm glad they are getting married.

[music playing]

Uh.

What time is it now?

- 20 after 9:00.

- Hey, wait a minute.

If we hurry, we can still get over there in time to stop it.

You get my pants.

[laughter, music playing]

[laughter]

- Come on!

- Getting my coat.

[music playing]

Oh, wait a minute.

Just--

- What's the matter? - Car keys.

They must be upstairs.

[laughter]

[laughter]

- Ozzie!

Ozzie!

- I'm looking for the keys.

- The keys are in the car. Come on.

Hurry up.

It's 25 after.

No, no, no, no!

Use the stairs.

[laughter, music playing]

[shoes screeching]

[laughter]

[interposing voices]

[laughter]

[interposing voices]

- I hope we're not too late.

- Pardon me, please.

Oh, congratulations.

I hope you're going to be very happy.

- Thank you. - Bye.

- Aren't you going to kiss the bride?

- Well, I'm sorry. I'm in a bit of a hurry.

- Oh, you've got lots of time.

There's another couple ahead of you.

- Well, I know. See--

- What's the matter?

Don't you want to kiss the bride?

- Oh, it isn't that. Believe me.

- She happens to be a very nice girl.

- I'm sure she is.

- Well, then go ahead and kiss her.

- Well-- - Ozzie, come on!

- Just a second, dear.

[laughter]

[laughs]

[music playing]

- [sobs]

- Don't cry, mother.

I know just what you're going through.

[laughter]

- All right. Who's next?

- Right here, sir.

- And what's your name, son?

- David Nelson.

- Just a moment.

May I say a word here, please? - Pop!

Mom! What are you doing here?

- Would you hold the ceremony for just a moment, please?

- Mabel!

Mabel, will you stop jumping the gun all the time?

[laughter]

What did you say your name was, son?

- His name is David Nelson, sir.

I'm the boy's father.

- I appreciate your help, Pop, but I can take care of this

myself.

- Why didn't you tell us, Dave?

- Well, I was going to tell you, Mom,

but I didn't want you to worry about it.

- Well-- well-- I didn't--

when did you get a license, Dave?

- I've had it for over a year. - Oh, here it is.

Yes.

David Nelson.

Says you were doing 35 miles an hour on Baker Boulevard.

That's right, son? - Yes, sir.

- Well, what's that got to do with his getting married?

- Who's getting married?

- Well, you are.

Aren't you?

- Heck no!

- Well, then what are you doing down here?

- I got a ticket for speeding.

[laughter]

- Oh, no.

No, Mabel.

Mabel.

Mabel, this is not the couple that's getting married.

- Oh, why don't you make up your mind?

[laughter]

- Sorry.

This confusion is my fault, I'm afraid.

- It's really my fault he was driving too fast, your honor.

He was coming over to our house for dinner.

- My watch was slow, but it won't happen again, sir.

I took it down to the jeweler yesterday and had it fixed.

- [chuckles] I-- I can't get over this.

See, the boy's mother got all excited.

[laughter]

The fantastic idea that David and this little girl

were getting married today.

- Oh, golly.

I couldn't get married today.

I'm going to the Chi-Phi dance tonight with Toby Jackson,

and I'm babysitting for the Andersons tomorrow.

- Well-- [laughter]

- Oh, I'll pay the fine.

How much is it?

I'm the boy's father.

- Well, I'll tell you he looks like a good boy.

I don't think he'll do it again.

We just forget about it this time.

- Oh. Thank you very much, sir.

- And when you two decide to get married, just come over

and see Mabel and me, and we'll fix up everything fine.

- Thank you.

May I have one of those too, sir?

I'm growing up pretty fast.

[laughter]

- Sure, son. Yes.

Here you are.

- [chuckles] [stammers] What are you crying for, dear?

- Mothers always cry at weddings.

You said so yourself.

- [chuckles]

[laughter]

There isn't going to be any wedding!

- I know, but I thought there was going to be.

[laughter]

- Mabel.

Well--

- Well, bye-bye.

It's awfully nice. Thank you for everything.

- All right, Mr. Nelson.

Good bye.

- Bye-bye, Mabel.

Say goodbye to Mabel.

- Yes, sir.

[laughter, music playing]

[applause, music playing]

[music playing]

- Hi.

We have exciting news for you about the Hotpoint Golden

Anniversary Contest.

- We've just learned the names of the winners of the Hotpoint

living condition prize homes.

- Each of these homes will be built on a beautifully

landscaped lot.

Each will be completely equipped, furnished,

and decorated in cooperation with "Living Magazine."

- And, of course, each will include a complete Hotpoint

kitchen laundry.

- The eastern prize home will be built for Mrs. Jay

Shoots of Cuba, New York.

- The Midwest prize home goes to Mrs. Gladys E. Freundt

of Indianapolis, Indiana.

- The Southern prize home is awarded to Mrs. Norman A.

Herendeen of El Paso, Texas.

- And this lovely western prize home

has been won by Mrs. Robert B. Todd of Oakland, California.

- And in addition, there are 50 complete Hotpoint kitchen

laundries plus thousands of individual Hotpoint appliances

being awarded winning contestants

throughout the country.

- See the Hotpoint dealer from whom

you obtained your entry blank for names of winners

in your area.

[music playing]

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Hey, Pop.

Would you mail this for me while you're downtown?

- What are you sending away for this time?

- It's an Egyptian ceremonial ring.

David swiped the other one I had.

- Hey, wait a minute.

This might clear up a family mystery.

What does the ring look like?

- I have a picture of it right here.

- Let me see it.

"Have lots of fun fooling your friends

with this Egyptian ceremonial ring.

Sparkles like a real diamond.

$2 including postage."

[laughter]

- How about that?

- Is something wrong? - No.

Only it should read "have lots of fun fooling your friends

and parents."

[laughter, applause] [music playing]

- I don't get it.

- Thank you.

Next week, our show will be brought to you

by Aunt Jemima Pancake Mix.

Harriet and the boys and I and all the others connected

with our show extend a hearty welcome to the Aunt Jemima

folks, our new co-sponsors.

- They sure make good pancakes.

- [chuckles] They sure do.

[music playing]

Well, good night, folks.

We'll see you again next week.

- Good night, and remember every day's a holiday with Hotpoint.

- Seven days a week.

- 365 days a year.

- Every day's a holiday with Hotpoint.

[applause, music playing]

- This has been an ABC television network

presentation.