Original subtitles

- "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," presented by--

- [SINGING] Hotpoint, Hotpoint!

Hotpoint changes your view point automatically,

because Hotpoint makes the finest things electrically.

New push button ranges that you adore, refrigerator superstore.

So keep the food that suits your mood.

Get your wishes and wash those dishes.

Everyone knows Hotpoint is best for clothes-- washes 'em clean,

and dries 'em smooth.

Your disposition it will surely soothe.

Hotpoint brings all this to you with the Nelson family, too!

Ozzie, Harriet, David, Ricky, "The Ozzie and Harriet Show!"

[upbeat music]

NARRATOR: And now, Hotpoint presents

America's favorite family comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," starring the entire Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course, his lovely wife Harriet as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys, David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother, the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons' next door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Well, hello there, little man. - Oh, hi.

I thought you were down at the Y.

- I was, but just for a couple of minutes.

I had my official height and weight recorded.

Bet you can't guess how much I weigh.

- I bet you I don't care either. - No, no, go ahead.

Take a guess.

How much do you think I weigh?

- Oh, about 10 pounds less than you claim.

- I weigh 167 pounds of solid muscle.

- A little flabby to me.

- What do you mean, flabby?

You're just jealous because you're so skinny.

- We just happen to be different types, that's all.

I'm the tall, slim type.

You're the short, fat type.

- What do you mean, short, fat type?

I bet I'll be 6 feet before the year's out.

I'm 5' 10" now.

- You are not.

- I just got through measuring, dopey.

It's my official height.

You can go down to the Y and ask them if you want.

- I'll bet you I'm about 5' 7" or 8".

- You look about 5' 2" to me.

- Oh, yeah?

What do you want?

I'm almost four years younger than you.

- Excuses, always excuses.

- Oh, yeah?

Have you seen that mark on the wall upstairs?

I've grown almost four inches in the past year.

Let's see, four years to go, it's four times four.

I think I'll have a talk with the basketball coach.

- Come on over here and help me mark this, will you?

Big deal.

Boy, you sure got a flat head.

- Never mind the comments, just mark it.

See, what did I tell you?

5' 10".

- I still say you got a flat head.

- You should talk with that watermelon head you got.

- I can't help that.

I inherited it from Pop.

- What's this about Pop?

- Ricky says you got a head like a watermelon, Pop.

- I did not!

Don't you believe that.

- Well, it's not true, anyway.

A casaba melon, maybe, but not a watermelon.

- Hey, Pop, take a look at this.

I'm 5 feet 10 now.

- Hey, how about that?

"YMCA, David Nelson, height, 5 feet 10, weight 167,"

and your father needs glasses.

Good for you.

That's fine, Dave.

- Come here, David, you mark me now.

- Now, wait a minute.

Don't mess up your mother's kitchen, huh?

If you want to mark up the walls, go up to your bedroom.

- OK, come on.

And don't mark on the wallpaper!

- Hi, Oz!

Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Hey, what's the matter?

Harriet catch you stealing cookies?

- No, no.

David marked height on the wall there

and I was just comparing myself to it.

- Afraid he's outgrown the old man, huh?

- Well, it's possible.

He really has been shooting up the last month or so.

See how my height compares to his, will you?

- Just about even.

- No kidding.

Try it again.

- Well, now that's different.

- Well, that's--

- David's just a little bit taller.

- How about that.

Kind of a rude awakening, isn't it?

- Well, no, I wouldn't say that.

As a matter of fact, it's a pretty proud moment.

After all, he is my own son, you know?

- Well, what do you say we celebrate the occasion?

Cookie for you.

- Oh! - Cookie for me.

- Well, thank you.

- And here, old pal, is one to grow on.

Yeah, the kids sure are grown.

You know, it won't be too long before my boy Will catches up

with me.

Then I'm out an expensive dinner.

- Well, how come?

- Well, you remember the talk we had with the boys

when they were little kids?

- What talk was that?

- Oh, Oz, you remember.

About nine or 10 years ago, we were out in the lawn

talking to the boys about growing up.

I promised Will I'd take him to the finest

restaurant in town the day he became taller than I am.

- Oh, yes, it seems to me I do remember something like that.

Well, you always were one for making rash promises.

[laughing]

- Yeah.

- Say, I didn't promise David anything, did I?

- Sure, $50.

- That's ridiculous!

I vaguely remember the conversation.

It was probably $0.50.

- $50, Oz, I distinctly remember it!

- Thorny, nobody can remember that far back,

especially David!

I mean, even if I did say such a thing jokingly--

which I'm not admitting-- a promise like that

is made without consideration.

It's what you might call a "loose statement."

- Oh, come on, now, Oz, any time you

talk about giving away 50 bucks, it is a loose.

- Thorny, be reasonable, will you?

David was about eight years old at the time.

What would an eight-year-old boy do with $50?

- Oz, let me remind you that David

is no longer eight years old!

- I didn't say he was.

I said he was 50.

Look, what's the sense of digging up

a long, forgotten conversation?

Not even a conversation-- a man says something jokingly.

You don't hold people to things like that.

How often have you heard somebody say,

I'll bet you a million dollars?

Or I could throw that ball a mile?

- Go on, Oz.

- Well, besides, David probably doesn't remember anything

about it.

In fact, you're the only one who seems to remember.

Here, have another cookie.

- Do you want me to remind David about it?

- Thorny, I don't mean to sound rude,

but frankly, I don't see where this whole thing interests you

in the first place.

- You're going to remind David about it?

- I'll pay David any money that's due him, yes.

- Oz, now, I hate to be persistent about this,

but I happen to be a very honest person.

Now maybe that's what's wrong with me.

I'm too honest. But that's the way I am.

Now, I'd like a direct answer, yes or no.

Are you going to pay David the $50?

- Yes, I'm going to pay him the $50.

And stop stealing those cookies, Thorny.

Those are our cookies.

They're not yours.

- Hey, that looks nice, Dave.

- Oh, thanks, Mom.

I'm afraid it needs a new paint job, though.

- Oh, really?

Doesn't look to me like it needs a new paint job.

- Yeah, well, Susan and I were talking

about it the other night and--

You know Susan, don't you?

She's that girl I took to the house party.

- Oh, yes.

- You know, we decided it's kind of dull,

sort of drab and uninteresting.

- Oh, what color did she suggest,

a baby blue or a mysterious Vampira black?

- No, she thinks dark colors are impractical.

They fade and show the dirt.

- Oh, well, she sounds like a very sensible girl.

What color did she suggest?

- Heliotrope.

- Heliotrope?

- Well, just plain heliotrope.

- That's sort of a lavender.

- Oh, no, Mom, it's kind of a--

a pinkish purple.

It's the latest thing.

I've heard about a lot of new Cadillacs that have it.

- Well, I guess the subject is purely academic.

You don't have the money for a new paint job, do you?

- Well, I don't right now, mom.

But I'm expecting to come into some money any day now.

- Oh, how come?

- Well, you see, a long time ago,

Pop promised me $50 the day I outgrew him.

And I think that day has arrived.

$50? Wow!

- Yup.

I think I'm about a 1/4 inch taller than he is right now.

- Well, that will be quite a windfall

if your father comes through.

- Oh, don't worry about Pop coming through.

He always keeps his promises.

- You don't think he might have forgotten about it?

- Oh, not Pop, Mom.

He's got a terrific memory.

- Well, yeah.

Oh, sure, Mom.

Pop never forgets anything.

Uh, Mom?

Yes, dear?

- Just to make sure, you want to remind him about it?

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Yes, yes, Thorny I'm writing it right now.

- Hi, Pop!

- Oh, hi, son.

You're just the one I'm looking for.

Sit down for a second.

No, stand up over here.

Turn around face the wall, would you?

- Did I do something wrong?

- No, no, no, I just want to see something.

Oh, thanks a lot.

- Would I be out of order if I ask what's going on, sir?

- Oh, nothing, I just want to see how tall you are.

- Heck, I'm pretty tall, almost as tall as you are.

And you're pretty darn tall.

- Oh, well, yeah--

- I think you're almost as tall as David.

- That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Sit down for a moment, would you, son?

- Yes, sir?

Tell me this.

Do you think you could remember something that happened,

say, eight or 10 years ago?

- Gee, I don't think so, Pop.

I was pretty young then.

- Oh, that's what I figured.

And David probably couldn't remember either, huh?

You mean my brother David?

Oh, he's got a terrible memory.

He can't remember anything, especially lately.

- Oh, really?

- The only thing he can remember is the $50 you owe him.

Say, that reminds me, could I have my allowance, Pop?

- Rick, there are other things in life besides money,

you know.

- But isn't this the day for my allowance?

- Well, yes, it is.

But I mean, just because a person

happens to owe you a couple of dollars,

you don't keep dunning them for it all the time.

- What's this about a couple of dollars?

- Oh, the line forms on the left here, Harriet.

- Don't ask any questions, Mom. Just take it and run.

Thanks, Pop.

- What have you got your checkbook out for?

- Oh, just about some silly little promise

I made David years ago.

Not one person in a million would have remembered it.

- You mean about the $50 for growing taller than you?

- You'd think somebody would have forgotten it.

- David told me about it just now.

He's planning on using the money to paint his car heliotrope.

- Heliotrope?

Well, that's a terrible color, isn't it, Harriet?

I mean, I think maybe it's my duty as a parent

not to give him the $50.

Well, no, don't misunderstand me, Harriet.

But in the first place, how do I know David's taller than I am?

- You could measure.

- We did-- how accurate is a chalk mark on the wall?

No, I think in fairness to all concerned,

especially since his car is involved,

we should leave the whole thing in abeyance,

at least until we get a chance to measure individually

and accurately.

- Where are you going?

- Just out of the kitchen.

I want to welsh--

I want to wipe the mark off the kitchen wall.

- Hi, Shorty!

- Hi, Thorny.

You pay David the 50 bucks yet?

- No, I didn't.

See, it hasn't actually been established that David's taller

than I am yet.

I mean, we haven't had any official measurements together.

- Oh?

- Besides, I don't understand your big interest in this case,

anyway.

- Well, I just want to make sure the kid gets

a square deal, that's all.

And I think you ought to know that I'm

volunteering my services to Ricky too

when the time comes around.

- Maybe you'd be interested to know what David

intends to do with the money.

- Hold on, Oz, I want you to tell

the boy I couldn't accept one penny of it.

How much is he offering me?

- Nothing, as far as I've heard.

He's going to blow the whole thing in on a new paint

job for his car.

- Well, that sounds like a sensible idea to me.

- Not when you hear about the color.

- Oh?

What color is he going to paint it?

- Heliotrope.

- I just asked a question, Oz.

You don't have to get nasty about it.

- Heliotrope is a color, sort of a pinkish lavender.

Evidently this is the latest fad according to the "Hot Rod"

fashion editors.

Well, I'll talk about it later, Thorny.

- Now, wait a minute, Oz.

What's your hurry?

Oh, I've got to go downtown.

- After all, it is David's car and his money.

- Well, it may be his car, but it's still my money.

And look, Thorny, there's something else

you don't seem to realize.

It won't be long before your boy Will is as tall as you are.

- Yeah, I know.

He's almost there now.

Sure.

He'll expect you to pay him $50.

- Why should I give him $50?

- You mean you're going to weasel out of it?

- Weasel out of it?

I only promised Will a dinner!

- Do you think he's going to be satisfied

with a measly dinner when he finds out David got $50?

He's going to figure you for just what you are,

a big tightwad.

- Now, wait a minute, Oz.

We got to do something about this!

- Well, I'm on my way down to Doc Williams' office right now.

- Yeah, it's not a bad idea. I think I'll go with you.

I don't feel so good myself.

- Well, no, you see, Dave came home

from the YMCA with one of those official cards giving

his height as 5 feet 10.

I want Doc to measure me and make my height official.

- Yeah, maybe you'll throw a couple inches your way.

Don't forget, he's got a 12-year-old son.

- Well, yeah, but he's taller than Doc already.

- Say, why don't you stop by the Emporium

and get yourself a pair of elevator shoes?

No, no, no, no.

Besides, Doc always measures people with their shoes off.

- Well then, get a pair of elevator socks.

Look, Oz, you've got to stall this thing off

for the good of the entire neighborhood.

- Don't get so worried about it, Thorny.

In the first place, I think I still have

about a half inch on David.

You don't suppose Doc's going to want

me to go through a complete physical checkup

when I get down there, do you?

Well, tell him you just want to use his scales.

Walk in and step up on him, see how tall you are, and leave.

- Yeah, I think that's what I'll do.

Gee, I wonder how much this is going to cost me.

- That all depends on how tall you are.

Good luck.

- Doctor Williams will see you now, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, thank you very much.

Hiya, Doc!

- Hi, Oz, nice to see you.

I was wondering when you were going to drop

by for your yearly checkup.

- Oh, no, you looked me over last summer,

don't you remember?

- Oh, was it as recently as that?

- Yeah, yeah, don't you remember?

I was going to go to the jewelry shop,

and I got off at the wrong floor by mistake,

and you grabbed me before I could get away.

[laughing]

- Well, what's on your mind, Oz?

- Oh, well, I came in to see you about my height.

- Your height?

What seems to be the trouble with it?

- No, you see, it's kind of a long story.

But quite a few years ago--

- Would you like to lie down on the couch

while you tell me about it?

- Oh, no, no, that won't be necessary.

- Well then, do you mind if I lie down?

I had kind of a bad night last night.

- Oh, no, go right ahead.

As I was saying, quite a few years ago when David was just

a small boy, I made an agreement that I'd pay him $50 as soon

as he became as tall as I am.

And today he came home from the YMCA

with one of these little cards that gave his official height

as 5 feet 10 inches.

And I thought I'd come in here and have

you measure me to see what my height is compared to his.

- I see.

How tall are you supposed to be?

- Oh, about 5' 10" and 1/2, 5' 10" and 1/4,

somewhere right in there.

- That sounds bad.

- Well, no, that still makes me taller than he.

- Well, it's a strange thing, Oz.

You take just about any guy you know

and ask him to tell you how tall he is, and then measure him,

and you'll find he's about a half an inch

shorter than he thinks he is.

- Oh, that's your experience, huh?

That's right, and about five pounds fatter.

- Well, see, I wasn't interested in the fat part.

I just wanted to find out about my height

and have you make it official and medical.

- Well, OK, Oz.

Just stand over there against the wall.

I think I got a piece of chalk here somewhere.

- No, Doc, I can do that at home myself.

Don't you have one of those--

where we can make this official?

- Well, OK, Oz.

Let's go on to the other office.

Oh, boy, makes it a tough day when you've been up all night.

- Well, I know how hard you doctors work.

- Take off your shoes, Oz.

You know, there's another thing, people

have a tendency to get a little shorter as they grow older.

Sometimes they'll lose as much as an inch

in, say, 20 or 25 years.

- Oh, really?

Well, I know I was 5' 10" and 1/2 when I was in college,

or 5' 10" and 1/4 at the very least.

- Well, now, you take me for instance.

I measured myself the other day and I was 5' 9".

I was a little taller than that when I was in medical school.

- How tall were you then?

- 6 feet 1.

- 6 feet 1?

- I had very bushy hair in those days.

- Well, let's make this official.

- There we are.

Well, that's exactly 5 feet 9 and 3/4.

- 5' 9", are you sure?

- You want me to call in a specialist for consultation?

- Well-- no--

well-- how could--

I was sure-- well, gee, Dave is 5' 10".

That means he's got me by a quarter of an inch.

- Well, that's the way it goes, Oz.

I wouldn't worry about it.

[yawns]

Oh, boy, I'm going to get a little nap

before the next patient comes in.

I had a miserable night last night.

- Oh, well, that's--

Well, I don't know how you doctors

do it anyway, up all night and up the next day.

- Well, I left the Dipple's house at 5

o'clock this morning, and I was in here at the office at 9:00.

- Oh, who's sick at the Dipple's?

- Oh, nobody's sick.

Wally Dipple had a little poker party going.

- I thought maybe you were making a house call.

[laughs]

You say you had some bad luck, huh?

- Yeah, I lost $6.00.

- Oh, well, that's the way it goes.

Well, thanks a lot, Doc.

And-- oh, how much do I owe you?

- Oh, make it $6.00.

- Hi, what are you looking for?

- Oh, I was looking for the chafing dish.

I thought we'd have some creamed chicken tonight.

- Creamed chicken?

Harriet, I don't need to get fatter.

I need to get taller.

- Here, hold the tea pot for me.

- You didn't listen to me.

I was down at Doc Williams' office and he measured me.

- Oh, how tall are you?

- 5' 9" and 3/4 inches and $50--

make that $56.

- Well, it looks like we're the proud parents of a boy

with a heliotrope automobile.

Oh, will you get me the burner for the chafing dish?

It's down there on the bottom shelf.

[crashing]

- What was that, a flying saucer?

- Oh, I'm terribly sorry!

I accidentally dropped the chafing dish.

Are you hurt?

- I can't tell until I get my head straightened out.

- Oh, that's a shame.

I'm so sorry.

Here, I'll get a cold rag.

That'll take the swelling down.

- No, no, wait a minute, Harriet.

This is just what I need!

- What's just what you need?

- This lump on my head.

This is wonderful!

- Oh, you better lie down, dear.

You sound a little punchy.

- No, no, no, listen.

This has added about a half inch to my height,

and it's still swelling!

This is a real stroke of luck!

- What's all the noise about, Pop?

Oh, Dave, you're just the one I'm looking for!

I understand you'd like to measure and see

whether you've won the $50 yet.

- Yeah, sure, Pop!

- OK, take off your shoes.

- I don't know.

This doesn't seem quite fair to me.

- Sure it is, Mom.

If Dave is taller than Pop, he wins the $50.

- Well, that isn't quite what I mean.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dave.

I'm afraid your father is just a little taller than you are.

- Gee, and I was sure I had him.

- Well, that's too bad, son.

My height fools a lot of people.

See, I have a rather odd-shaped head.

It's an old Nelson characteristic.

- Well, I'm a Nelson.

How come I haven't got it?

- I think you got an odd-shaped head.

- Nobody asked you.

- Well, better luck next time, Dave.

- Gee, and I practically had the $50 spent, too.

- Well, at the rate you're growing,

I think you'll have it won in a couple of months.

- In a couple of days if your father

will stay out of the kitchen.

- Come on, Ricky, let's go outside.

- I don't know whether I want to associate

with a little runt like you.

- This was kind of a painful way to win, wasn't it?

- How's your head feel?

- Oh, not too bad.

Sort of a dirty trick to play on Dave.

But I think it's for his own good.

- I hope he isn't too disappointed, though.

- Oh, I don't think so.

After all, he is going to win the money eventually.

In fact, as soon as the lump on my head goes down.

I just hope heliotrope hot rods are out of style by then.

- I thought baseball didn't start till spring?

- Well, that's right.

- What do you suppose the boys are doing out there

in the yard?

- Oh, come on, will you?

- No, I can't do it.

You're my brother, my own flesh and blood.

- You don't have to hit me very hard, just hard enough

to raise a small bump.

Oh, hi, Pop!

- Oh, hi, son.

- Gee, thanks again for giving me the money ahead of time.

- Oh, that's all right.

Judging by the way this bump on my head is going down,

you'd have had it won by tomorrow anyway.

- I was just down the garage checking with Mr. O'Brien

to see how much he'd charge me to paint my car.

- Oh, yes, I understand you're thinking

of having your car painted.

Your mother mentioned something about heliotrope.

- No, I changed my mind.

That color would look OK on big cars,

but look pretty silly on mine.

- Oh, well, I'm glad to hear you say that.

I was kind of worried there for a while,

but I knew after you thought it over you'd

reach the right decision.

Well, the color I'm going to have it painted

is the latest thing.

It's a little more expensive, though, because you need

special equipment for the job.

- Oh, what color is that?

- Oh, it's a real special deal.

They call it "leopard skin."

NARRATOR: You can find where to buy your new Hotpoint

by checking your local classified telephone directory.

Look for Hotpoint under the appliance you want.

Ask your local Hotpoint dealer to show you the new Hotpoint

ranges, the new Hotpoint refrigerators, the new Hotpoint

automatic washers and dryers, and the new Hotpoint automatic

dishwashers.

Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by Antizyme.

Listerine Antizyme toothpaste stops the major cause

of tooth decay every minute of every day.

- Well, good night, folks.

We'll see you again next week.

- Goodnight, and remember, Hotpoint changes your viewpoint

automatically.

- That's what I always say, boy.

- What do you always say, little man?

- Hotpoint changes your viewpoint automatically.

[applause]

NARRATOR: The part of Doctor Williams

was played by Frank Cady.

The nurse was Carol Brewster.

This is Verne Smith speaking.