Original subtitles

- "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," presented by--

- [SINGING] Hotpoint, Hotpoint, Hotpoint

changes your viewpoint--

[music playing]

--automatically, because Hotpoint makes

the finest things electrically.

New push button ranges that you adore.

Refrigerator superstore.

So keep the food that suits your mood.

Get your wishes, and wash those dishes.

Everyone knows Hotpoint is best for clothes,

washes them clean and dries and smooth.

Your disposition, it will surely soothe.

Hotpoint brings all this to you with the Nelson family too.

Ozzie, Harriet, David, Ricky, "The Ozzie and Harriet Show."

[music playing]

- And now Hotpoint presents America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course his lovely wife, Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys, David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother, the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons next door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Oh, hi. - Hi.

- You're home early.

- Yeah.

Where have you been, shopping?

- Uh-huh, sort of.

- Come on over here and sit down for a minute, will you?

There's a little something I want to talk to you about.

- Is it anything serious?

- Uh, well, that depends on how you look at it.

- Oh, well, what's on your mind?

- I suppose you know what day Friday is.

- Sure, I do.

It's our wedding anniversary. - Yeah.

- I thought that was what you had on your mind.

At least, I was hoping you'd remember.

- Well, don't I always remember?

That is, ever since you had the date tattooed on my chest.

- You keep saying that and people will believe you.

- Well, as long as you're so good at guessing

what's on my mind, maybe you can tell me

what I'm going to give you.

- Yes, I can.

A beautiful, new fall coat.

- No, that's not it.

- Yes, it is.

I just ordered it from the Emporium.

- It's a fine thing.

Uh, have I thought of any other little surprises

you'd like to tell me about?

- Let me see...

No, I think I'll leave the rest of it up to you.

- Fine. Thank you.

- I'll let you decide where we're going to have dinner,

and what show we're going to see,

and where we'll go dancing afterward.

- Now, Harriet, why is it I always have

to make all the plans for this family?

- You know, that's what I like about you, dear.

You let me make up your mind and then you stick to it.

- [laughs] Oh, I--

I like anniversaries.

They bring back such wonderful memories.

You know, it seems like only yesterday

that we were sitting at your home on the big sofa,

just as we're sitting here now, only the sofa

was a little more comfortable, uh,

more like the couch over there.

Uh, uh, let's sit over on the couch for a while, dear.

[music playing]

- Well, all right, but I have to get dinner pretty soon.

- [chuckles] Harriet, don't you have any romance in your soul?

It's practically our anniversary.

- [laughs]

- [chuckles] What are you laughing at?

- Oh, nothing.

I was just thinking, I always knew

when you were going to kiss me.

You'd look all around and see if my father was anywhere around.

You know, come to think of it, you

don't kiss me as much as you used to.

- Well, of course I do.

- No, you don't, not as much as you did before we were married.

- Oh-- [chuckles]

- What are you laughing at?

- [laughs] Nothing.

Just a little thing I read in the paper, a little joke.

- Oh, what was it?

- Oh, well, it was nothing really.

- Come on, tell me.

- Well-- [laughs] well, uh, see if you think this is funny.

Uh, this fellow had this thing in the paper

that a guy said "kissing your wife after you're married

is like striking out the pitcher."

[laughs]

- I'm not sure I think that's funny.

The pitcher's usually the worst hitter on the team, isn't he?

- Well, no, not necessarily.

- Well, sure he is.

That's why he always bats ninth.

You say kissing your wife is like striking out the pitcher?

- Oh, no, no, no--

I didn't say this.

This fellow in the paper said it.

- You laughed at it.

- Well, yeah.

Well, that's where I made my mistake.

See, I-- I made a mistake.

Evidently, now that I think it over,

it wasn't intended as a joke.

- What was it?

Uh, it-- well, it's a--

well, uh, see, there's a great deal of rivalry among pitchers.

So naturally, who would a pitcher rather

strikeout than anybody on the other side?

The opposing pitcher.

And-- and-- uh, uh, who would a man rather

kiss than anybody else's wife?

I-- well, I--

I'd-- I'd much rather kiss you, dear.

I'm glad I married you.

- I'm glad I married you.

- Going someplace, Pop?

- Oh, oh-- [chuckles] no, no, why do you ask, Rick?

- Well, I thought you were kissing Mom goodbye.

- Oh. [laughter]

No, it was just sort of an impulsive thing.

- I don't blame you.

Mom always smells so good.

- Well, thank you, dear.

- There's this girl at school that I especially

would like to dance with.

She always smells like a vanilla soda.

- Well, there's an interesting observation.

- I like your perfume best of all though, Mom.

It reminds me of a marshmallow.

- [laughs] You know, that's one of the first things that

attracted me to your mother, that marshmallow overtone.

- Thank you.

Thank both of you.

What was on your mind, Rick?

- It's about a social engagement.

- What kind of a social engagement?

- Well, I've been going to an awful lot of parties recently.

- Yeah, that's for sure.

- Yes, sir.

And there's another one coming up

that I'd kind of like to ask you about.

- Well, you can go to as many parties as you like,

as long as you keep up on your schoolwork.

- Gee, thanks, Pop.

- Where's this one being given?

- Here.

- Oh.

Well, I don't see why they can't be arranged.

- Sounds like a good idea to me.

When are you planning on having it?

- Friday night.

- Oh.

- Oh, well, Friday is our wedding anniversary, Rick.

Couldn't you make it some other time?

- Well, gee, I've already invited all the kids for Friday

night.

- Well, yeah, that's fine, but your mother and I

are planning to go out that night and celebrate.

- Well, that's OK.

You don't have to worry about the party.

David said he'd help me.

- It's not that, Rick.

It's just that if you're going to give a party here,

I think your father and I should be home.

- Well, do you really think that's necessary, Harriet?

I mean, after all, David will be here,

and he wouldn't let things get out of hand.

- Heck, no! David can take care of things.

Have you felt his muscles lately, Mom?

- Well, OK.

But make sure they're nice kids and they all behave themselves.

- Oh, gee, thanks, Mom.

Thanks, Pop.

Hey, David!

David!

- I hope we're doing the right thing.

- Oh, sure.

They'll have a wonderful time.

And so will we.

We'll have dinner in some quiet little place--

[music playing]

--and go see a show.

- Sit in the balcony?

- Well, where else?

Then we'll go out dancing together.

You know, Ricky's right.

You do smell like marshmallows.

- Thank you, dear.

You know, you don't pay me compliments very often.

But when you do, they're so unusual.

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Hey, where are you heading in such a big hurry?

- Oh, I'm just going downtown to get this suit pressed

for Friday night.

- Oh, yes, I understand it's going

to be quite a big night in the Nelson household.

- Yeah.

[chuckles] Hey, how'd you hear about it?

- Ricky told me.

- Oh.

It's our 19th.

Can you imagine that?

- 19th what?

- Well, our 19th wedding anniversary so we're going down

and go to a show and-- and, uh, dancing.

[car honks]

Eh, what did you think it was?

- [chuckles] I thought you're talking about Ricky's party.

- Oh, oh-- no. [chuckles]

- See, our little niece is here for a few days,

and Ricky invited her to his party Friday night.

- Oh, gee, that's nice.

- Say, uh-- [car honks]

--what night did you say your anniversary was?

- Uh, Friday night.

- Oh, you mean, you're going to make Ricky cancel his party?

- Well, no.

Why should he cancel it?

- Well, if you and Harriet are going out,

who's going to chaperone the kids?

- Oh, well, David's going to be there to make sure nobody

breaks any windows or throws any furniture into the fireplace.

Well-- well, gee, Oz, I don't know.

I--

- You don't know what?

- Well, I don't know whether we should let our niece go

to this party or not.

- Well, are you kidding, Thorny?

- Well, of course not!

Gee, Oz, after all, I got a certain sense

of responsibility.

Why do you and Harriet have to go out that night?

- Because it's our anniversary.

Why haven't you congratulated me?

- OK, OK.

Happy birthday.

- It's not my birthday.

It's our anniversary.

- Yes, yes, yes, you said that, Oz.

But do you have to go out that night?

- Well, no, we don't have to.

But we've made plans to go out.

We've been going out every anniversary

since we've been married.

- Well, if you've been doing the same thing every year for 18

years, it seems to me it's about time you got out of the rut.

- Well, you're the one who's in a rut.

Look, if you're a little niece is so delicate,

why don't you keep her home Friday night.

Let her sit in your living room with a big glass

cage around her.

- Oz, let me make one last appeal.

Think this over.

Do your duty as a parent and chaperone the party.

- I'll take it under advisement.

- Be honest with yourself, Oz.

And be honest with those kids.

Remember, honesty is the best policy.

[starts engine]

- OK, Thorny.

I'll be seeing you.

[music playing]

[uncaps bottle]

I want a chocolate soda with ice cream, please.

- Hey, Oz--

Oz--

- Oh, hi, Wally.

- Well, don't be so exclusive.

Come on over here and join me.

- It's nice to see you.

- Thank you.

- What brings you to this neck of the woods?

- Well, I'll tell you, Oz.

I'm on sort of a diet.

And-- and this is the only place in town

that serves non-fattening whipped cream with its sundaes.

[laughter]

- Well, good for you.

How's the family?

- Fine, fine.

Oh, say, my Susie's looking forward to Ricky's party

Friday night.

- Oh, Ricky hasn't told us who he's invited.

I'm glad to know Susie's going to be there.

- Yeah, oh, looking forward to it.

- Good.

- Are you expecting a big crowd, Oz?

- Well, I really don't know.

You know how kids are nowadays.

Ricky hasn't told us much about it.

- You mean, you and Harriet don't know who's coming?

- Well, no, not exactly.

Of course, we know they're all nice kids.

- Oh, I'm-- I'm sure of that.

[chuckles]

- See, uh, we always believe in letting the kids handle

their own parties.

- Oh-- sure, sure.

- Well, I imagine the little Dunkle girl will be there,

probably Doc Williams' daughters, and then the--

Thorny's little niece is visiting them,

and then she'll be at the party.

Now, that's if ole stuffed shirt Thornberry lets her come.

- Stuffed shirt?

Why, I never thought of Thorny as a stuffed shirt.

- Well, neither did I. But the funniest thing

happened a little while ago.

He and I were talking about the party,

and one word led to another.

And the first thing you know, he practically

told me he wasn't going to let the little girl come

to the party when I told him that Harriet and I weren't

going to be there to chaperone.

- You mean, you and Harriet aren't going to be there?

- Well, no.

Uh, uh, they're all nice kids.

I'm sure they'll behave themselves.

- Yeah, I know.

But, um, you said you didn't know who was coming.

- Well, no, not ex--

now, wait a minute.

Don't tell me you're going to pull a Thornberry on me.

- Um, well, Oz, I--

I don't like to sound like an old fuddy-duddy,

but you must admit that it's a little odd.

I mean, turning a bunch of 14-year-olds loose in a house

without any parental supervision.

- Well, now, wait a minute.

You mean to say you're not going to let your daughter come

to the party just because Harriet and I aren't there

to act as policemen?

- Now, Oz, I don't want to put it that way.

I just-- look, let me talk it over with my wife

and-- and see what she thinks.

And it'll probably be, you know-- um, well, I'll

see you later, Oz, eh?

[music playing]

- Oh-- Oz--

Oz--

- Oh, hi, Dunk, how are you?

- Uh, could I have a word with you, old man?

- Well, sure. What's on your mind?

- Well, I don't want to sound presumptuous,

but I understand Ricky's giving a party.

- Oh, yes.

Did little Mary get her invitation yet?

- Yes, she did, Oz.

Frankly, my wife and I are a bit disturbed

about a rumor we heard this afternoon.

- Oh, when did Thorny tell you about it?

- Oh, about a half hour ago--

Now, Oz, don't blame Thorny.

Well, you must admit it is a bit irregular.

- You mean, you don't want your daughter to come to the party?

- Oh, of course we want her to come.

- Oh, oh.

- Uh, that is, provided you and Harriet

decide to stay home, of course.

- Did Thorny also tell you it was our anniversary?

- Well, yes.

I believe he did mention something to that effect, Oz.

- Oh, I-- I see.

- Uh, you, uh, do understand of course?

- Oh, yeah, it's up to you Dunk.

[music playing]

[music playing]

Uh, Harriet--

- Yes, dear?

- You know, I've been thinking over this situation

about Ricky's party, and I wonder

if we're doing the right thing.

- You mean, by going out and leaving

the kids for themselves?

- Uh, yeah.

I mean, how would we feel if we had a daughter 13 or 14 years

of age, and she were invited to a party where

the parents weren't even going to be anywhere in the vicinity?

- Well, Claire Randolph certainly

feels that way about it.

- Oh, did she phone?

- Mm-hmm, right after Mrs. Jackson phoned.

- Oh.

- No, it was before Mrs. Jackson phoned,

but it was right after Betty Van Schuyler phoned.

- Well, what did they all have to say?

- Oh, all sorts of things.

Claire wanted to make sure that her daughter didn't

sit by any open windows because she

catches cold so easily and--

oh, and Betty Van Schuyler wanted

to make sure they weren't going to play any kissing games.

It seems that her daughter just got new braces on her teeth.

Chubby Jackson's mother didn't want him to eat any ice cream.

It seems they're trying to take some weight off of him.

- Oh.

Hey, well, believe it or not, Dunkle, Wally Dipple,

Doc Williams, even Thorny all put in big pitches

about our staying home.

- What's this about you staying home?

- Oh-- uh, hi, son.

Uh, your mother and I have just been talking over your party.

Would you mind if we sort of hung around the house

that night and chaperoned?

- Oh, gee, that'd be swell.

- Are you sure? - Oh, sure.

I was hoping you would, but I didn't know how to ask you.

- Oh, well, then it's all settled.

- Oh, that'd be great. Wait till I tell David.

[music playing] David!

David!

- Well, tonight's the big night, eh, son?

- Yes, sir.

- You going to have your dancing in here or in the dining room?

- I thought I'd have it in here.

I can roll back the rug a little.

- Do you want me to help you move some of this furniture?

- No, that's OK, Pop.

I can do it a little later on.

- Well, I'm not busy right now.

I'd be very happy to give you a hand.

We could have it out of here in a jiffy.

- No, really, Pop, that's OK.

I got to get some more records.

- I've got the cheese spread ready for the party.

Here, taste it.

- Oh, gee, Mom, you shouldn't have gone to all that trouble.

- Oh, it's no trouble, dear. I was glad to do it.

Here, taste it.

[music playing]

Now, what do you think it needs?

- Maybe you could add a little strawberry jam.

- Jam?

- Gee, Mom, what do I know about these things?

I'll fix something else a little later on.

- Well, this has the makings of quite a party, hasn't it?

- Uh, yeah.

You know, uh, Ricky doesn't seem very anxious to have our help.

- No, he doesn't, does he?

He's acting very strange for a boy who was

so eager to have us stay home.

- Have you seen Ricky?

- Oh, yeah, he just went out the front door.

- Oh, David, listen, tell me honestly,

do you think Ricky would rather have your father

and me stay in the dining room during the party tonight?

- Well, gee, Mom, there's a liable

to be an awful lot of kids in there.

- Oh.

- Well, what about the kitchen?

- Well, you know Ricky's friends, Pop.

That'll probably be the most popular place

in the whole house.

- Oh.

- I do have a suggestion though, Pop.

- Yeah, what's that?

- Well, I know at a lot of the parties I go to,

the parents stay up in their room.

- You mean, the-- the parents, uh,

sit up in their room by themselves while the party goes

on downstairs?

- Yes, sir.

- I'll see you later, Pop.

[music playing]

- You know, I think this could stand

some more Worcestershire sauce.

- Harriet, this is our anniversary.

We're not going to spend it sitting up in our room

by ourselves.

Happy anniversary, dear.

- Same to you.

- Uh, should I light the fire in the fireplace?

- Oh, that'd be nice.

We don't have any wood up here.

There's some piled out in back of the garage though.

- Oh, well, never mind.

You have that thin dress on.

You might catch cold going out.

- You sure you like this cheese spread?

- Oh, oh, yeah.

Uh, I'll-- I'll dig into that later on.

You-- you wait and see me.

You know, this is a very pleasant way

to spend an anniversary, just the two of us alone like this.

- I think it's very enjoyable.

- Oh, yeah.

We've had big evenings out before.

But this is a lot of fun.

We had a wonderful anniversary last year, remember?

- I remember we had a lot of fun.

Where'd we go?

- I don't think I remember.

I-- I remember it was a lot of fun.

Well, where did we go?

Oh, well, it won't hurt to stay home for one anniversary.

- No, of course not.

What's the matter?

- I think I heard a couple more of the kids arriving.

- Oh.

You know, I think we're doing this in just the right way.

We're here in case the kids need us, but we're not in the way.

- Besides, they'll probably invite us down there later on.

- Perhaps.

- Uh, uh, do you think we ought to be down there now, welcoming

the guests as they come in?

- I talked to Ricky about it, and he said

he thought it'd look corny.

[music playing]

- They're starting to dance.

I hope they don't knock over any lamps or anything.

- Oh, I don't think they will.

- Gee, here like this, we might as well be out having a good

time, not-- not that we aren't having a good time.

Well, drink up, dear.

There's plenty more.

[sighs]

[sighs] I wonder what those kids are doing down there.

- Probably dancing.

- No.

I don't hear any music.

I don't hear a thing.

- Do you think there's anything wrong?

- Well, why don't we just take a look?

The lights are all out down here.

- Ricky!

- David!

- Turn on the lights, dear.

- Find the switch.

GROUP: Surprise! [applause]

- Happy anniversary, Ozzie!

- Happy anniversary!

GROUP: [SINGING] Happy anniversary, to you!

Happy anniversary, to you!

Happy anniversary, Ozzie and Harriet!

Happy anniversary, to you!

- Oh. [applause]

- Congratulations, Oz!

- Oh, thank you.

[chatter]

Oh, thank you.

Oh, what a surprise.

- It's just wonderful.

- What a phony, you with all this talk about the chaperones

and everything.

[laughter]

- We had to think of something to keep you two at home.

[laughter]

- OK, well, come on, folks.

Let's leave the newlyweds alone.

After all, these kids have only been married 19 years.

[laughter]

- I can hardly believe it, Oz.

You don't look a day over 50.

[laughter]

- Well, come on. Let's dance, everybody.

Everybody, dance.

Come on.

[chatter]

[music playing]

- Oh, boy, how about it?

- Isn't that wonderful?

- I'm weak in the knees.

Let's sit down.

- I just can't get over it.

- Oh, how about this?

Isn't it wonderful to have friends like this?

Happy anniversary, dear.

- Same to you.

- Gee, just think, 19 years married.

- You make it sound as though it's been a long time.

- No, actually, it seemed more like 19 minutes.

- Were you surprised? - Oh.

[chuckles] - Oh, we sure were.

- Are you kidding?

You should've seen your mother's face.

[laughter]

Mine, too.

Whose idea was this, Dave?

- Well, it seemed everybody thought of it at the same time.

- Oh, gee.

- Do you want to go to the movies,

or would you rather stay here with us old folks?

- Oh, gee, Mom, this is a lot of fun.

I'd kind of like to stay here.

- Oh, you betcha.

- Oh, you're perfectly welcome.

Maybe Rick might get bored though.

Do you think Rick would rather go to a show?

- Are you kidding, Pop?

Take a look in the other room, and see who's

dancing with Mrs. Van Schuyler.

[music playing]

[chatter]

- We had a wonderful time. - Bye.

- Bye-bye. - Goodnight, Harriet.

- Goodnight, Doc. - It was wonderful.

[interposing voices] - Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

[interposing voices]

- Really wonderful.

- Thanks, a lot. - Bye, kids.

- Goodnight, Mr. Thornberry.

- Oh, boy, what a wonderful gang.

[chuckles] They sure had us fooled, didn't they?

[chuckles]

- Sure was a swell party, eh, Mom?

- Oh, and how about this guy, making

believe he was giving a party, the invitations all sent out.

- Well, that was the truth, Mom.

- What's this?

- Sure, my party's next Friday. Hey, that reminds me.

- Uh, uh-- hey, wait a minute. Where are you going?

- Mrs. Van Schuyler's in the den.

She wants to teach me some more dance steps.

[music playing]

- Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by Antizyme.

Listerine Antizyme toothpaste stops the major cause

of tooth decay every minute of every day.

- Well, goodnight, folks.

We'll see you again next week.

- Goodnight.

And remember, Hotpoint changes your viewpoint automatically.

- That's what I always say, boy.

- What do you always say, little man?

- Hotpoint changes your viewpoint automatically.

[chime]

[music playing]

- Lloyd Corrigan played the part of Wally Dipple.

Frank Cady was seen as Dr. Williams.

Herb Dunkle was played by Joseph Kearns.

And June Smaney was seen as Mrs. Van Schuyler.

This is Verne Smith speaking.