All language subtitles for The.Adventures.Of.Ozzie.And.Harriet.S02E33.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP2.0.x264-ZEW.en

- Yes, thanks a lot.

Goodbye.

- Oh, did you just
make a phone call?

- Yes, I did.

- Did you call the drugstore?
- Yes, I did.

- Did you remember to
order some Listerine--

- Antizyme toothpaste?

Yes, I did.

[music playing]

- Listerine, the most widely
used antiseptic in the world,

and Antizyme, the first
all-day anti-enzyme toothpaste,

presents "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Harriet Nelson, who,
understandably enough, plays

the part of Harriet Nelson.

And here we have the older
of the Nelson boys, David.

He appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother, Ricky,
is played by Ricky Nelson.

And here we have
Ozzie Nelson, who

plays the part of Ozzie Nelson.

- Oh, hi.

I was just sitting here thinking
what a nice neighborhood we

Nelsons live in.

It has such friendly,
congenial people around here.

Of course, there's our
next door neighbor, Thorny.

He's really a great guy.

Oh, he does use a
phony name sometimes.

Don DeFore, I think it is.

And then there's Doc Williams,
who lives across the street.

He's really a nice guy.

I'll never forget the
first day I met him.

I didn't even know
he was a doctor.

See, I was down at the bank,
making a deposit or something.

Anyway, I remember
I was trying to use

one of the pens
they have down there

and I was having quite
a bit of difficulty.

Doc, did you see that?

- I beg your pardon?

- This darn scratchy pen
splattered all over the paper.

- Oh, that's a shame.

- I hope I didn't
get any of it on you.

- No, no, not at all.

- Never seen one of these
pens yet you could write with.

- Yeah, I know.

- You scratch halfway
across the paper

without any ink coming out
at all, then all of a sudden

it drops all in one big puddle.

- Yeah, that's why I
always bring my own pen.

- Good idea.

I guess I just like to
make it tough on myself.

- Well, here, take
it easy for a change.

- Oh, may I borrow
yours for just a minute?

- Yeah, help yourself.
- Oh, thanks.

It's very kind of you.

My name is Nelson.

- Oh, I'm glad to
know you, Mr. Nelson.

My name is Williams.

- Pleasure to know you.

- Do you live here in town?

- Yes, I do.

Say, this writes fine.

- Thanks.

We're just moving
into the neighborhood.

I'm trying to get some
things straightened out.

- Oh, that moving can
be a real headache.

You never realize how
much junk you accumulate

until you start to move.

Got any children?
- Yes.

Yes, we do.

We have two, a boy and a girl.

- Oh, fine.

We have two boys.

- Oh, is that so?

Well, boys make nice children.

- They seem to.

I think we'll keep
our two fellas.

- Yeah.

I guess we will, too.

Or, one of each, that is.

- Say, you're losing a
button off your coat there.

- Oh, good heavens.

I believe you're right.

- I think I have a pen knife.

Yeah, here we are.

Why don't you cut that
off before you lose it?

- Oh, thanks.

I guess that would
be a good idea.

- There, the material.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I just want to
get these threads out.

- Yes, I think you'll
like it around here.

- Oh, I'm sure we will.

- We have some really
good community spirit.

Of course, I'm lucky enough to
have some fine neighbors, very

congenial and likable.

- I'm glad to hear it.

Oh, say, I'm afraid
you'll have to excuse me.

It's a little later
than I thought.

We still have some
unpacking to do.

- Oh, fine.

Well, I'll probably be
seeing you around from time

to time, Mr. Williams.

- I certainly hope
so, Mr. Nelson.

It's been a real pleasure.
- Thank you very much.

Pleasure's mine.
- Bye.

- Bye.

[music playing]

- Well, I guess
that's the last of it.

- They sure had a lot
of neat stuff, boy.

- Come out away from
that window now.

Can't people move in
without an audience?

- Not across the street
from us, they can't.

- Hey, there's one more
piece of furniture.

- Where?

- Come away from
the window, Ricky.

- Yeah, Ricky, Mom can't see.

- I don't want to see.

- Then how come you decided
to wash these little windows

this morning?

- I decided that last night.

Besides, I don't have
to answer to you.

- If we were married, you would.

- Well, I guess that's it.

That's all the things
from the moving van.

- I thought you
weren't watching.

- Well, the morning
paper said rain

and I wanted to make sure they
got the things in before it

started.

- Whoa, what's going on here?

- Oh, hi, Pop.

Come on in.

Pull up a chair.
- What's this?

We just happen to be
watching the people

move in across the street?

Oh.

They seem like
pretty nice people?

- Yeah.

They have a cat, a bird,
a girl, and a little boy.

- Oh.

Not so little.

He's bigger than you.

- Looks like an oddball to me.

- Wait a minute, Rick.

That's no way to talk
about our new neighbors.

- That's right.

You want to make
friends with the boy.

- Oh, I know I do.

- I'm sure he's very nice.

- I'm sure he is, too.

He has a motor scooter.

- I'm not talking about that.

They're going to
be our neighbors.

- It's not hard to make friends
with people if you know how.

Sometimes strangers are
inclined to be a little distant,

but you can usually
break them down a bit.

- You could break
me down easy, boy.

Just give me a ride
on that motor scooter.

- Why don't you go over
and get acquainted?

- Do you think it'll
be all right, Mom?

- I think it'll be the
neighborly thing to do.

- Come on, Rick, let's go.

- I get the first ride.

- They're really
very nice people.

- Oh, have you met them?

- Well, I met Mrs. Williams
for just a moment this morning.

She's pretty busy.

- Wait a minute.

Did you say Mrs. Williams?
- Uh-huh.

- Well, how about that?

I met him at the
bank this morning.

- Oh.

- He was a little
strange at first,

but after we got
talking, he turned out

to be a real nice guy.

- Wasn't that nice?

- Yeah.

I think it will be a
very welcome addition

to the neighborhood.

- Well, Mrs. Williams seems
like a very pleasant person.

- Well, you know, it's a funny
thing about people, Harriet.

Sometimes they take a
little while to warm up,

but if you know how to
get their confidence,

it's not too difficult
to make friends.

- Well, I'm glad you
two hit it off so well.

- Oh, sure.

He warmed right up
after I told him

he was going to lose
one of his buttons.

- You told him what?

- Well, one of the buttons
on his coat sleeve was loose,

so I let him use--

Hey, wait a minute.

- What's the matter?

- Well, I let him
borrow my pocketknife

and he never gave it back to me.

How about that?

He just walked off with it.

- Oh, well, I'm sure
he didn't mean to.

- Well, I don't suppose so.

Although, come to think of
it, he did act kind of funny.

- I thought you said
he was very nice.

- Well, yes.

But now that I
think of it, the--

the way just moved
in on me like that,

borrowing something
from a total stranger.

I mean, I don't mind loaning
things to good friends of mine.

I don't think anything of it.

For instance, I let
Thorny borrow $2

two weeks and four days
ago and I have completely

forgotten about it.

- Oh, I'm sure Mr. Williams has
just forgotten about the knife.

- Well, yes.

On the other hand, it
could be he just figured

he'd never see me again.

- Oh, Ozzie, don't be silly.

After all, it's only
a little pocketknife.

- I can't understand it.

Now that I think it
over, the way the man

ducked out of there so fast.

- Well, I'm sure it
was all a mistake.

Why don't you go over
and ask him about it?

- Those things are
so embarrassing.

- Well, what's
embarrassing about it?

Just go over and tell
him you want it back.

He'll probably be
very glad you did.

- Well, that's easy
to say, Harriet,

but you can't just walk
over there and accuse a man.

I mean, you've got to be a
little diplomatic, kind of beat

around the bush.

- Well, what are
you going to say?

- Well, I'll just say,
"Give me my knife back

or I'll punch you
right in the nose."

- That ought to do it.

- Do you think that'll
get me my knife back?

- No, but it ought to
get you a nice black eye.

[music playing]

[knock on door]

- Yes?

- Oh, Mr. Williams,
my name is Nelson.

Remember, I met you at
the bank this morning?

- Oh, yes.

- I was quite surprised to
learn that you moved in right

across the street from us.

- Yes.

- Quite a coincidence,
wasn't it?

I mean, our meeting
like that at the bank

and you were telling
me that you're

going to move into
the neighborhood,

and it turns out that it's
right across the street.

It's quite a coincidence.

- Yes, I suppose it was.

- Looks like you have a
very nice place in there.

- Oh, thanks.

I'm afraid we're a
little cluttered up right

now and things.

- Oh, well, yes.

Well, that's to be expected.

I mean, the moving day, there's
a certain amount of confusion.

A man can be forgiven
for forgetting things.

A man might even
lose his buttons.

- I'm glad you understand.

- Well, we have some very
nice neighbors around here.

I'd like to have you meet some
of them when you get settled.

- Oh, I'd like to.

- Thornberry lives
right next door to me.

He's a very nice chap.

Sometimes he borrows things
and neglects to return them.

But I-- I imagine it's just
an oversight on his part.

He doesn't do it on
purpose, I'm sure.

- Oh, of course.

- At least, you
don't like to think

a person would borrow
something and deliberately

fail to return it?

- Of course not.

- Well, I don't want to
keep you from anything.

I suppose you have lots
of things on your mind,

things to do.

- Oh, that's very kind of you.

Well, I'm glad you dropped by.

- Oh, thank you.

Is there anything
you'd like to borrow?

- I don't believe so, no.

- You got everything you needed
at the bank this morning?

- I believe so.

- Oh, fine.

Well, I guess I'll be going.

- All right.

- You're sure there
isn't anything?

- No.

No, thank you.

- Well, if there's
nothing more to be said--

- Just goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

[music playing]

- Hi, Ozzie.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Saw you leave the
Williams' house.

Just paying him a
neighborhood visit?

- Well, I guess that would be a
polite way of putting it, yeah.

- I met Mrs. Williams
a little while ago.

She stopped by our house
to borrow a pound of sugar.

Seems like a very nice woman.

- Wait a minute.

You say she borrowed
a pound of sugar?

- I guess they didn't have
time to do any shopping.

You know how it is
when you're moving?

- Yeah.

I imagine those people do
quite a bit of moving, too.

Oh, say about four
or five times a year.

- What do you mean by that?

- Well, nothing.

You will find out for yourself.

- Wait a minute.

Let me take a look at you.

You seem kind of different.

That sunny smile
has frosted over

and a cynical glint has replaced
the twinkle in your eye.

- I guess as you grow older
and wiser, you get that look.

You lose a little faith
in the human race, too.

- This is beginning to
sound a little serious.

Now, why don't you tell
Uncle Thorny all about it.

- I suppose I should warn you.

After all, you'll be living
in the neighborhood with him.

- Living with who?

- Light-fingered Williams,
our new neighbor.

You know, I never like to make
hasty decisions about people

and I always like to see
the best in everybody.

But after what's happened,
you can't blame me

for being a little
sour on the guy.

- Well, just what did happen?

- Well, there may be
some explanation for it,

and I'm not accusing
him of any crime

and I'm not saying
he's dishonest.

- Come on, Oz, what happened?

- The man stole my pen knife.

- Stole your pen knife?

- That's right.

See, I met him in
the bank early today.

I didn't realize he
was moving in right

across the street from us.

Evidently, he didn't
know it, either.

- And he picked your pocket?

- No, no, no.

He didn't pick my pocket.

He started a
conversation with me

and seemed like a
very nice fellow.

Of course, they always do.

Well, we got to
talking and then he

asked to borrow my pen knife.

- Yeah?

- Well, we talked
for a few minutes.

Now I can see he was just trying
to keep my attention while he

slipped the knife
into his pocket.

- And you're positive
you didn't give it back?

- I know he didn't, Thorny.

- Yeah, but Oz, that
doesn't prove he

meant to steal your pen knife.

Maybe he just forgot about it.

- Well, sure, I
said the same thing.

So I went over to his
house a little while ago.

I stood there on the
porch, dropping hints

all over the place.

Gave him every opportunity
to return the knife.

- Hmm.

Does seem rather
strange, doesn't it?

- Anyway, consider
yourself warned.

Afraid it's a
little late, though.

Don't expect to see that
pound of sugar again.

- Oh, Oz, what's
a pound of sugar?

- Oh, it's not very much.

That's the way those
people operate.

A pound of sugar here.

A dozen eggs there.

A sack of flour somewhere else.

Then in a few months
they go legitimate.

They open a supermarket
with our groceries.

- And give away pen knives
at the grand opening.

- Possibly.

Fine people to have
in the neighborhood.

- Oh, Oz, it may not
be as bad as you think.

Maybe this Williams guy is
just a little absent-minded.

- Well, I'd like to believe it,
Thorny, but I'm afraid I can't.

I wouldn't exactly
call them crooks.

Let's just say they're
professional borrowers.

- Hmm.

And Mrs. Williams seemed
like such a nice person, too.

- Well, it's part
of their business

to seem like nice people.

- What do you think
we ought to do?

- Take all the
necessary precautions.

Make sure the windows and
doors are securely barred.

Put the sterling
silver in a safe place.

- Oh, they wouldn't dare
to break into a house.

- Thorny, there's no telling
what these kleptomaniacs

are liable to do.

- Kleptomaniacs?

Oz, it was only
a pound of sugar.

- Well, maybe it
sounds silly to you,

but I'm going to be pretty
darn careful myself.

Don't forget, this
Williams guy is armed.

- You mean he's got a gun?

- He's got my pen knife.

Now, see, I don't think
we ought to say too

much to the wives about this.

No sense upsetting them.

- You really sound serious.

- Well, I am serious.

- You know, I think
I'll go down to the bank

and see if I can rent
a safety deposit box.

- That's a pretty good idea.

Use something like that to
keep Catherine's jewelry in.

- The heck with the jewelry.

We've got 10 pounds
of sugar in the house.

[music playing]

- Ozzie?

- Yeah?

- Well?

- Well what?

- Well, what happened?

Did you see Mr. Williams?

- Oh, yes, I saw him.

- Did he give you
your pen knife?

- No, he didn't.

- Well, did you ask him for it?

- Yes.

Well, I didn't
exactly come right out

and say, where is my pen knife?

But I certainly dropped
enough broad hints.

He's probably passed it
on to his fence by now.

- Well, there must be
some explanation for it.

- Well, we'd like to
think so, don't we?

- What are you doing?

- Just checking this cabinet.

There's no lock on it.

- There never has been.

- Don't you think we'd
better put one on?

We keep some valuable
things in here, you know.

- Oh, yes, very valuable--

one airmail stamp
and the gas bill.

- We have locks on all
these windows, don't we?

- I think so.
Why?

What's the matter?

- Oh, nothing.

Nothing.

I don't want you to get upset
or hysterical about this.

There's nothing to worry about.

I plan to sleep with a golf club
under my pillow from now on.

- I take it you decided Mr.
Williams is public enemy number

one?

- Well, evidently, he
stole my pen knife.

- Oh, I'm sure he didn't
mean to steal your pen knife.

Probably in the confusion of
moving he forgot about it.

- Oh, Harriet, the whole thing
was carefully worked out.

For instance, the subtle way
he struck up a conversation

with me at the bank.

- I thought you said
you were the one who

struck up the conversation.

- Oh.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Well, yes, of course.

Don't you see?

That's where he
was being subtle.

It would have been
too obvious if he'd

have started to talk to me, so
he let me talk to him first.

This is a very carefully
planned job, Harriet.

- Well, he certainly
went to a lot of trouble

just to get a pen knife.

- Well, who knows?

Maybe he wasn't aiming
at just a pen knife.

I don't know what
he wanted to get.

He might have been
just buttering me up

to get me to co-sign a bank
loan with him or something.

- These confidence men are
pretty shrewd, you know.

- Well, at least he's
just a confidence man now.

Oh, look, here come the boys.

And I do think you
should be careful

what you say about Mr.
Williams in front of them.

- OK, I'll do my best
to control myself.

- Hi, Mom, Pop.
- Hi, Mom, Pop.

- Hello.

- Where have you boys been?

- Over visiting
the new neighbors.

- Oh, you mean the
Williams family?

- Yes, sir.

They're very nice people.

- Yeah, they sure are.

- What do you think of
the Williams boy, David?

- Oh, he's a swell guy.

They have a daughter, too.

Two children, a boy and a girl.

- What are their
names, Jesse and James?

- Gordon and Barbara.

- You say he seems
like a nice boy?

- Oh, very nice, Mom.

He's interested
in athletics, too.

Says he might go out for
the track team at school.

- Well, running should be a very
good thing for him to learn.

- You ought to see his
coin collection, Pop.

- You say this boy
collects coins?

- Yes, sir.

He says his father picked
up a lot of them for him.

- Did you say
something, Harriet?

- No, I just think it's
nice that the boys get on so

well with their new neighbors.

- You know, Pop, you were right.

You should never said
anything about a person

until you get to know them.

- Yeah, we were all
wrong about Gordon.

- You met Mr. Williams yet, Pop?

- Yes, I've met him, Dave.

- What do you think of him?

- Well--

- Your father thinks
he's very nice, Dave.

- Yeah, so do I, Pop.

- Their whole family's nice.

Even their dog, Raffles.

- A strange name for a dog.

- Well, I'll see you later, Pop.

- OK.

- Where are you guys going?

- Well, we promised
Gordon we'd show him

around the neighborhood.
- Well, don't stay out too late.

- We won't, Mom.

- Harriet?
- Hmm?

- Do you think we ought to
let David and Ricky pal around

with the Williams boy?

- Well, I don't see why not.

- Well, I just wonder whether
he's a good influence on them.

They said they were
going to show him

around the neighborhood.

You don't suppose the man's got
the kid out casing the town,

do you?

- Ozzie, don't be so silly.

- Well.
[doorbell ringing]

- Oh, that's the front door.
Would you get it?

I've got to go down to market.

- Oh, Mr. Williams.

- Oh, hello, Mr. Nelson.

May I come in?

- Well, yes, please do.

- Thank you.

- I-- I just came by to
apologize and to tell you how

embarrassed I am
by what's happened.

- Apologize?

- Yes, for leaving the
bank with your pen knife.

- My pen knife?

- Well, now, don't pretend
you didn't know I had it.

- Well, actually, I did
discover the knife was stolen--

I mean, the knife was
missing a little while ago.

- I imagine that was just before
you stopped by my house, huh?

[laughs]

- Yeah.

Yeah, as a matter
of fact, it was.

- Well, anyway, Mr. Nelson,
I do feel awful about it.

In the confusion
of moving and all--

- No, no.
Please, forget it.

I mean, a thing like that
could happen to anybody.

- Yes, but here you
went to the trouble

to come all the way
over to the house,

and then when it
still didn't register

on me that I had
your knife, well,

I don't know what you
must have thought.

- Oh, well, I mean, actually
the knife isn't very valuable.

- No, but it's the
idea of the thing.

- Oh, please forget it.

- Well, anyway, I am
sorry, Mr. Nelson,

and honest, this is
my first offense.

- I believe that.

Won't you come in and
sit down for a while?

- Thank you.

- And please start
calling me Ozzie, as long

as we're going to be neighbors.

- Well, thanks a lot, Ozzie.

My name is Frank.

- Well, welcome to the
neighborhood, Frank.

- Thank you.

Now, look, if anything like
this ever happens again,

I'd consider it a big favor
if you'd come right out

and tell me.

I believe in being
perfectly frank.

- Oh, well, fine, because
I'm that way myself.

I like a person to be
blunt and to the point.

- Do you honestly feel
that way about it?

- Well, yes, of course I do.

- Well, in that case,
where's my fountain pen?

- Your fountain pen?

- Yeah, don't you remember?

I loaned it to you at the bank.

- For goodness sakes, you
mean I didn't give you back

your fountain pen?

- No, you just stuck it in your
pocket and ran off with it.

Well, I mean, you
didn't run off with it.

- Oh, this is
terribly embarrassing.

- Oh, not at all.

It was a very inexpensive pen.

- I guess it kind of evens
up the score, doesn't it?

- Sure does.

You know, when you
came over to the house,

I thought you'd come
to return my pen.

I never realized I
still had your knife.

- And it didn't dawn on me
that I had your fountain pen.

Gee, I wonder what you
must have thought of me.

- Oh, I didn't think
anything, really.

Oh, of course I did make a
little joking remark to my wife

about having a rather
absent-minded neighbor.

[laughs]

- Yeah.

- I'll bet you said the
same thing to your wife.

- Oh, well, I did make some
sort of a mild comment about it.

It's really a kick.

- Say, Oz, do you
still believe in being

outspoken and straightforward?

- Well, yes, of course.

- I called you a big crook.

- I called you a kleptomaniac.

[laughs]

- Oh, how about that?

- Well, I guess I'd better
get back to the house.

I still have a lot
more work to do.

- OK, Frank.

I'm sure glad we got this
thing straightened out.

- Yeah, so am I. It also
saves me a trip downtown.

- Oh, what for?

- Now I don't have to put our
sterling silver in my office

safe.

- Oh, no.

So long, klep.

Oh.

- Oh, say, Ozzie, I--

- I--

- Oh, you go ahead.

- Oh.

I was just going to say,
in all the confusion,

you never did give
me my knife back.

- That's just what
I was going to say.

Here you are.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

[laughs]

- Uh, could I have
my fountain pen?

- There you are.
- Thank you.

Bye.

- So long.

[music playing]

[knock on door]

- Oh, come on in, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz.

Well, I finally got your hint.

- Hint?

What hint?

- Oh, Oz, never mind the
wide-eyed innocent stuff.

You know, it
finally dawned on me

what you were really
driving at when

you told me about this Williams
guy and your stolen pen knife.

- Oh.
Oh that.

Oh.

Well, that requires
a little explanation.

- There's nothing to explain.

You weren't really
mad at him at all.

Oh, I saw you two walking across
the street like two old college

pals.

For goodness sake, Oz, you
don't have to beat around

the bush with me.

Why don't you come right
up and ask me for it?

Why the big elaborate story?

- What the heck are
you talking about?

- You know darn well
when I'm talking about.

Here, take it.

Here.

- What's this?

- The $2 I borrowed
from you two weeks ago.

- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by
Hotpoint Quality Appliances.

Remember, Hotpoint changes
your viewpoint, automatically.

The new neighbor was
played by Frank Cady.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio stations.

- This is Harriet again.

I thought you might like to see
this picture of David and Ricky

and me that appears on the
cover of the Mother's Day

issue of "TV Guide" magazine.

It'll be on sale at your
newsstands next week.