All language subtitles for The.Adventures.Of.Ozzie.And.Harriet.S02E29.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP2.0.x264-ZEW.en

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz.
- Here, sit down.

- Thanks.

Thanks, I will.

Well, what'd you
want to see me about?

- I want to talk to you about
a wonderful product, Thorny--

Listerine Antizyme toothpaste.

- Well, you're
kidding, of course?

- Well, no.

- Well, you know
where I just been?

- No.
Where?

- The drugstore.

You know what I just bought?

- No.

- Listerine Antizyme toothpaste.

- How about that?

Good for you.

[music playing]

- Listerine, the most widely
used antiseptic in the world,

and Antizyme, the first
all-day anti-enzyme toothpaste,

present "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson;

and of course, his lovely wife,
Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson;

and his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons' next-door
neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

[music playing]

- Hear ye!

Hear ye!

- What's all the excitement?

- Well, haven't you
heard the big news, Mom?

Hear ye, hear ye!

- You look dangerously happy.

School didn't burn down, did it?

- No, but I'd be glad
to spread the rumor,

if you think it'd help.

- Hey, what's all
the bellowing about?

- Well, I'm just
announcing the big news.

- Are you kidding?

Don't you think you're overdoing
this thing a little bit?

- I don't even know what
the big news is yet.

- I guess it's about me.

- Yes, sir, I sure have
a talented brother.

- Oh, thanks.

- You're welcome.

What about you?

- What about me?

- Don't you know anybody
real close to you that

has a talented brother, too?

- You mean you?

- Exactly.

- Yeah, you sure do
have a talented brother.

- Hey, wait a minute.

- Well, come on.

Let's hear the big news.

- Listen to this, Mom.

David's gonna be a
big newspaper man.

- What's this?

- Oh, he's exaggerating.

I'm just gonna write an
article for the school paper.

- Oh, well that's
wonderful, Dave.

I didn't know you were
interested in journalism.

- Well, I'm not especially.

- Well, then how come
you're gonna write a column?

- Well, it's part of our
assignment for English.

We each have to write an
article for the school paper.

- Oh.

Well, I think that's a
very constructive idea.

- Yeah, we're taking
turns, and this week I

have to do something.

- I can tell you just
what to write about, too.

- What's that?

- Yeah, sir, I'll give
you a real hot item, boy,

and it'll be exclusive, too.

- Yeah, I can imagine.

Exclusive of any interest.

- Are you kidding?

It's about the most interesting
subject I can think of.

- OK, what is it?

- Me.

- You?
- Sure.

Don't you think that'd
make a nice, fat item?

- From where I'm standing,
it looks a little

on the skinny side.

- What are you going
to write about, David?

Have you decided yet?

- I don't really know, Mom.

- Come on, David, why don't
you write something about me?

- If I did, they
wouldn't print it.

- It ought to be a
good opportunity.

- You see, David?

- No, I mean getting
to write the column.

It ought to be a lot of fun,
and you'll learn a lot, too.

- I guess you'd like to know
a couple of facts about me.

- What for?

- The article, of course.

And to begin with, I was born.

- Is that a fact?

- Sure.

Does it surprise you?

- Well, you're a little
on the cuckoo side.

I thought maybe
you were hatched.

- Watch me a minute, boy.

I'll show you how to be
a real newspaper man.

Like the guys in the movies.

[music playing]

Hand me that phone, sweetheart.

[music playing]

Hello, chief?

I got a scoop that'll
bust this town wide open.

OK, sweetheart, if
you won't listen

to the best little old
reporter in this town,

I'll take it to the
Morning Bugle. [HICCUP]

- Come on, get your feet
down off that counter.

- Please, Mom, I'm
making an important call

to the city desk.

- Come on, get them down.

Besides, I thought
David was the one who

was going to write the article.

- He is.

I'm just trying to
get him fired up.

That's the trouble with
this boy, no enthusiasm.

- What's the matter, Dave?

Aren't you interested
in writing the article?

- Oh, sure, but it's gonna
take time after school,

and I need to baseball practice.

- Oh, you're not still worrying
about that last game, are you?

- Not only that, but we had
a practice game yesterday,

and the third team
almost beat us.

- Oh, I wouldn't worry about it.

You fellas will get
started pretty soon.

- I sure hope so.

- You'd better start in a hurry.

Your league games
start next week.

- You don't have to remind me.

- Well, I wouldn't
worry about it.

Now, why don't you get
cleaned up for dinner?

- OK.
How about it, chief?

- OK, sweetheart.

- Why, David, I
didn't know you cared.

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

Come on, have a seat
since you're not

gonna get one on the bus.

- You know, I
think you're right.

So how are the boys?

I haven't seen 'em
in a couple of days.

- Oh, they're just fine.

At the present, David
has a few aspirations

in the direction of
the newspaper business.

- Oh, is that so?

Well, that never does a kid
any harm selling papers.

- Oh, no, no, he doesn't
figure on selling 'em.

He's writing an article
for the school paper.

- Oh, fine.

Fine.

You better tell him
to be careful, though.

- Well, in what way?

- Well, you know they say
that printer's ink really

gets in the blood.

- Oh, I think that's
only if you're tattooed.

- Maybe you're right.

- I think this is just some
sort of an English assignment.

You know, to give the kids
a little writing experience.

- Oh, sounds like
a pretty good idea.

- Yeah, I think so.

In fact, they have
some awfully good ideas

over at the high school.

- Well, I don't know
about that, but they sure

have a pretty poor
baseball team this year.

- That's right, the team
isn't too good, is it?

In fact, I think they
had a better team

when I went to school.

- I didn't know they had
baseball back in those days.

- Sure.

In fact, we had a real
good team when I was there.

Did I ever tell you
about the time I--

Yeah, gotcha, gotcha,
gotcha, gotcha.

- Well, I don't know what's the
matter with the boys this year.

I know David's not
very happy about it.

- The same with Will.

Gee, it's a shame
to have the boys

on a team that's not winning.

- Yeah.

It's nice to be a good loser,
but it's much more fun to win.

- I saw the team
play last Friday,

and believe me, Oz, that
coaching strategy was bad.

- Something was
wrong, wasn't it?

That's for sure.

- It's just poor
judgment, and I'm not

saying that just because my boy,
Will, didn't get in the game.

- Oh, no, no, no.

In fact, I'm forced
to agree with you.

- To begin with, they should
have taken McDougall out

in the first inning.

It was obvious he had
nothin' on the ball.

- One play I couldn't see,
why didn't they let Roper

steal home with only one out?

- Oh, I don't know.

And Artie Peterson
wasn't even in uniform,

and he's the best
pitcher we've got.

- You're right, there.

- Gee, I don't know why the
team can't win ballgames.

They got good material.

Matter of fact,
it's better material

than they had last year.

- Good batters, good fielders.

- Well, Oz, I just hate to be
one of those second guesses.

- No, no, go ahead, Thorny.

- But if you ask me--

- And I do ask you.
Go ahead.

- --and I'm gonna tell you, Oz.

If you ask me, the whole
trouble is with the coaching.

- You think it's the coaching?

- Well, it's the only
logical explanation.

It's certainly not the material.

We both agreed on that.

- No, that's for sure.

The material's fine.

- The only thing
left is the coach.

Believe me, Oz, this Shipley
fellow's got me worried.

- Yeah, it seems a shame to have
the boys suffer through a bad

season just 'cause this man
doesn't know his business.

- What are you
gonna do about it?

Everyone knows it's his fault.
You know what the trouble is?

Nobody has the
courage to speak up.

Somebody oughta go down and
have a long talk with him.

- Yeah, that might be an idea.

- Takes a man with
plenty of backbone,

not just some ordinary fella.

Someone who isn't afraid
to call a spade a spade.

Someone who will face
that coach with the facts

and come up with the results.

You know who that man is?

- No.

- Neither do I, but when
you find him, let me know.

[music playing]

- I think our bus is coming.

[music playing]

- OK, dinner's ready
whenever you are.

- Oh.

You said the right words.

I'm starved.

Where are the boys?

- The last time I saw them,
they were up in their room.

- Oh, I thought they might
be out practicing baseball.

- No, David seemed
worried about that column

he's going to write.

The boy who was
editing the paper

called and asked if he could
have the story by tomorrow.

- Well, he'll find something
interesting to write about

in no time.

- Ricky was helping him.

- Well, in that case, it
may take a little longer.

- Hi, Pop.

- Oh, hi, Dave.

- Sit down.

Dinner's ready.

- You found a subject for
your newspaper article yet?

- No, sir.
Not yet.

- I've been trying to help him.

- That's OK, Rick.

I may find one anyway.

- Dave, what sort of subjects
have you been thinking about?

- Well, I've been
trying to get stuff

that's important to the school.

- Yeah, that's the idea.

- He wouldn't listen to me.

I wanted him to campaign for
lemonade in all the drinking

fountains.

- Well, that sounds
like a good cause.

- I don't know whether I like
this idea of writing a column

or not.
- Well, what do you mean, Dave?

- I don't know.

I just can't get excited
about it, that's all.

- Oh, you will.

- The main idea is to
find some red-hot issue,

some controversial subject.

Something you can't help
getting excited about.

- Ricky turned me
down a long time ago.

- The secret of being
a successful columnist

is to keep about half of
your readers mad at you

all the time.

- Well, you can count on me.

- Never mind now, Ricky.

Isn't there something
the whole school

seems to be interested
in at the moment, Dave?

- Well, yeah, I guess
there is at that.

- So you're probably thinking
about the same thing I am.

- I bet I am, too--

the baseball team.

Everybody wants to know why
we aren't winning any games.

- Exactly what I had
in mind, and don't

be afraid to put the blame
right where it belongs.

You can write a column
that'll really get 'em,

and you can write it from
firsthand information.

- Hand me the phone, boy.

- OK, scoop.

- Oh, never mind, I got it.

Hello, chief?

This is Nelson.

I got a story that'll
bust this town wide open.

- Now you're talkin', boy.

[music playing]

Haven't you finished
that article yet?

- I haven't even
started to type it.

[music playing]

Will you stop breathing
on me and go to bed?

- Big man.

Stop breathing, he says.

[music playing]

- And it is the opinion
of this journalist.

And it is the opinion
of this journalist.

J-O-R-N-I-- Journalist.

Journal.

J-O-R-N-E--

And it is the opinion
of this reporter.

[music playing]

- Hi, Pop.
Hi, Mom.

- Hello, dear.
- Oh, hi, Rick.

- Where's David?

- I don't know.

I think he's still
at the school.

- I just wondering whether they
liked his column at the school

paper.
- Yeah, I think they did.

Will Thornberry works
at the print shop,

and he says it was swell.

- Oh, that's good.

I hope he gets an
extra copy for us.

- Oh, he'll get an
extra copy for everybody

in the neighborhood.

- You got to remember this
is a big occasion for Dave.

I mean, it isn't
every day the boy

gets selected to do a guest
column for the school paper.

- Yeah, so David told
me all night long.

You should have seen him
sitting at that typewriter, Pop.

He had one of your
old hats on, too.

- Oh, probably pushed way
back on the back of his head?

- Oh yeah.

He calls himself "Scoop" Nelson.

Calls me "copy boy."

- Sounds like he's taking
this pretty seriously.

- You know what I
think I'll do, Harriet?

I think I'll go down
and get some ice

cream for dessert, sort of a
little bonus for the newspaper

work.

- Well, that sounds
like a good idea.

- Best one I've heard today.

- I wonder whether the big
newspaper man'll like vanilla,

chocolate, or strawberry?

- I don't know about
the big newspaper man,

but you can get all three
for the hungry copy boy.

[music playing]

- Say, pardon me for
staring, but aren't you

David Nelson's father?

- Oh, yes I am.

- I thought I recognized you.

I'm Ralph Shipley, the baseball
coach at the high school.

- Oh, well, I'm very
happy to know you, coach.

- You do?

- Naturally, I'm quite
interested in the baseball

team.

As a matter of
fact, I was thinking

of coming over to the
practice field some afternoon

and getting in your
way for an hour or two.

- Oh, well, please feel
free to stop on by any time.

I may put you to work, though.

David tells me that you used
to be quite a ballplayer.

- Oh.

Well, you don't want to believe
what David says on that score.

He's only repeating
what I've told him.

- I'm sure you're
just being modest.

I've heard about some of
those games you pitched.

- Oh, really?
How did I do?

- Terrific.

- Oh, I'll have to
ask David about that.

I'd like to hear
about it myself.

- Jason still goes to
stop on by any time.

Yes, sir.

You can probably give me
a few valuable pointers.

- Oh, you're kidding
now, of course.

- Oh, no.

I'd appreciate any suggestions.

We really need them, too.

I'm afraid we've had a
pretty poor season so far.

- Well, after all, you can't
win all the games, you know?

- We can't seem to
win any of the games.

We've had an awful lot
of bad luck, though.

- Well, that happens
to the best of teams.

- However, I'm not blaming
everything on bad luck,

and I'm not trying to
make excuses for myself.

Losing our best infielder right
at the beginning of the season

was a tough break.

- Oh, what happened?

- He had his appendix out,
and then our most experienced

pitcher, Ricardo Jimenez, ran
into some scholastic trouble

and had to be dropped
from the squad.

- Oh, what was his trouble?

- He flunked Spanish.

That wasn't so pretty.

Course, if I weren't also
teaching mathematics,

I could concentrate more
on the baseball team.

- Oh, do you teach math, too?

- Yes, I kind of double
as baseball coach.

- Oh, gee.

Well, that makes a pretty busy
schedule for you, doesn't it?

- Well, I enjoy it.

We have a swell group
on the team, too.

'Course, some of the
boys are inclined to be

a little lazy about practicing,
but they'll snap out of it.

You know, I think
David's gonna turn

into one of my best players.

- Oh, gee.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

- There's no reason
why he shouldn't.

He's a good competitor.

He's got a lot of team spirit,
and he really likes athletics.

Gets that from his
father, I'll bet.

- Oh, gee.

Thanks.

I like to think so.

- Seems to be a very
intelligent boy, too.

- Oh, he gets that
from his mother.

- I understand he even wrote
a column for the school paper

today.

- Oh, yes, I believe he did
mention something about it.

- Well, that's fine.

- And you haven't read it yet?

- No, I haven't, but
I'll bet it's a good one.

Say, I hate to
rush off, but I did

want to stop by Gordon
Bellinger's house on my way

home.

He's the boy who had
the appendix operation.

- Oh, yes.

How's he coming along?

- Just fine.

Of course, it's tough
being stuck in bed,

so I thought I'd take him a few
magazines and some ice cream

to cheer him up.

- Oh, gee, that's very
thoughtful of you, coach.

- Say, if you and Mrs. Nelson
have a free night this week,

we'd love to have you stop by
and spend the evening with us.

I'd really like to talk to you
some more about the baseball

team.

- Oh, gee, thanks
for the invitation.

- Well, I mean it, too.

What about tomorrow night?

- Tomorrow?

Well, gee, that's fine.

- Well, then, it's a date.

- Oh, well, maybe I'd better
phone you tomorrow morning

after you've--

- Well, whatever you
think, Mr. Nelson.

It was a real pleasure
meeting you, sir.

- Well, thank you, coach.

It's been a pleasure
to meet you, too.

[music playing]

- Hey, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- Hi.

Say, what was all the activity
over at your house last night?

- Activity?

- Yeah, I could hear somebody
plucking a typewriter

until around midnight.

- Oh, that was David writing
that piece for the high school

paper.

I told you about that.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Say, what'd he finally
decide to write about?

- Well, you know, the
baseball situation over

at the high school.

- Well, good for him.

Gonna take a blast
at the bungling way

the team has been coached, huh?

- Well, I'm not so sure he's
writing about the coaching.

- Well, Oz, that's
where the trouble is.

We both agreed on
that yesterday.

- Just a minute, Thorny.

Let's not be too
hasty about this.

There may be a lot of
other factors involved

in the team's slump.

- Such as what?

- Well, for instance, bad luck.

Now, I know that may sound
like a pretty feeble excuse

at first blush.

- No, not necessarily.

I'd say that bad luck
is partly responsible

for the losing streak.

- Well, certainly.

- For instance, I'd
say it's bad luck

that I'm not coaching the team.

- Look, Thorny, what gives you
the right to set yourself up

as a baseball critic?

After all, Coach Shipley was
a well-known college star.

In fact, I understand he even
got a tryout with the New York

Yankees.

For goodness' sakes, what is
your experience and background

to be such a critic?

- Well, Oz, I'd like to tell
you about a few of my triumphs

on the diamond, but as you
know, I'm a very modest fellow.

I just don't like to boast
about my athletic abilities.

- I'm serious
about this, Thorny.

I mean, you're hardly
a qualified expert,

and yet here you are screaming
for the coach's scalp

just because the
boys happen to lose

a couple of practice games.

- Well, I'm as
qualified as you are,

and you were screaming right
along with me yesterday.

- That was yesterday, but I
feel different about it today.

- Oz, watch out!

Well, anyway, David
knows more about this

than we do, and I'm certainly
glad to see he agrees with me.

- What makes you so
sure he agrees with you?

- This article he wrote
for the school paper.

- Now, just a
second, Thorny, that

was not entirely David's idea.

In fact, I was the
one who suggested

he write about the baseball
situation in the first place.

- Oz, whose side
are you on, anyway?

- I'm not on anybody's side.

And stop shouting!

Stop shouting.

- Well, you'll have
to admit that you're

responsible for getting
the new baseball coach.

- Who said we were
gonna get one?

- Well, there's bound to
be a change when they read

David's scathing editorial.

- Now, wait a minute, Thorny.

You're blaming me for
something that I didn't do.

- Look, Oz, I know that
you're a soft-hearted guy,

but believe me, you've
done the right thing.

- I haven't done anything.

David wrote the column.

- Sure, but you're the
one who gave him the idea.

By golly, I think it was a
very courageous thing to do.

You're not a kind of a man who's
afraid to voice his opinion.

No, sir.

You stand right up and let your
son say exactly what you think.

- Now, wait a minute,
Thorny, you're

getting this whole
thing confused.

- Oz, I'm proud of you.

- Will you listen
to me a minute?

Coach Shipley happens to be
a very nice young fellow.

- I know he is, and I admire
your ruthless attitude.

If he can't handle
the job, we'll

get somebody else who can.

- I don't want him
to lose his job.

- Well, of course you don't,
but that can't be helped.

You're sorry, but
life is like that.

- Well, that's a pretty
terrible thing to do.

- Well, sure it is.

That's why it takes a hard
guy like you to do it.

So he loses his job.

So you're responsible
for him losing his job,

but it was bound to
happen sooner or later.

- Now, now, just
a second, Thorny.

- Take your hand off
of my sleeve, you heel.

[music playing]

- Harriet, is David
home from school yet?

- No, not yet.

- I'm anxious to see his column.

- Yeah, so am I.

- I wonder what he wrote about.

- I know.

He wrote about Coach Shipley.

- Oh, isn't that nice?

I've never met Mr. Shipley, but
I met her at the woman's club.

She's an awfully nice person.

You know, we ought to have
them over here some evening.

- Well, I have a hunch
maybe he might come over

without an invitation.

- Have you met him?

- Yes, I met him just
a little while ago down

at the drugstore.

- Oh, what sort
of a person is he?

- Well, unfortunately,
he's very nice.

Yes, he even shook my hand.

The right hand, the one
that held the knife.

- What are you talking about?

- Oh, I'd rather
not say, Harriet.

Why should both of us hate me?

- Is something wrong?

- Well-- Oh, Dave?

- Hi, Pop.
Hi, Mom.

- Hi, son.
- Hello, dear.

We've been waiting for you.

- How did they like your
column at school, Dave?

- Oh, just fine, Pop.

- Do you have an extra
copy of the paper with you?

- Oh, no.

I don't have one with me.

- You don't?

- But there are about 10 extra
copies on the kitchen table.

- Oh.

Good.

Well, let's see one.

- Copy boy, go get
the chief a paper.

- Yes, master.

- Tell us about it, David.

- Yes, what was the general
reaction to your column?

- I think it's
gonna do some good.

- You mean you think there are
gonna be some changes made?

- I hope so, but I didn't
take all the credit.

I told everybody you
gave me the idea.

- Here's the paper.

- Oh, thank you, boy.

You can have the rest of the
afternoon off if you want.

- Oh, that's OK.

- Dave--

- Do you want me to
read it to you, Pop?

- Yes, if you would, please.

- "What Is Wrong With
Our Baseball Team?

By David Nelson."

That's what they call a byline.
- Yes, yes.

I know that.
- Big deal.

You've already done that.

- Keep quiet, will ya?

- Dave, please.

- "The winning team is the
team that plays as a team.

Team spirit and teamwork show
the result on the scoreboard,

and it is the opinion
of this writer

that our team does
not have these two

valuable requirements.

So now we ask,
whose fault is this?

The answer is easy."

- Well, now, wait
a minute, David.

How can you blame
this on Coach Shipley?

- Coach Shipley?

Who said it was his fault?

- Well, you do.

You say so right in that
scandal sheet you work for.

- No, I don't, Pop.

Coach Shipley's doing
a wonderful job.

I gave him a good write-up.

- Well, then who do you
think is responsible

for the losing team?

- Well, the players.

We've all been too
lazy about practice.

Everybody's trying to be a star
instead of working as a team.

- Oh.

So that's what you say
the big problem is, huh?

- Sure.

Gee, Mr. Shipley's
really a fine coach,

and everybody knows it, too,
except some of the fathers.

- Well, I think your column is
a good, honest piece of work,

David.

I'm glad you said some nice
things about Coach Shipley,

too.

Of course, some
people say you're just

trying to butter him up to
get a better spot for yourself

on the team.

- Well, maybe so, but I
really meant what I said here.

I think he's a good coach, smart
man, and really a swell guy.

Besides that, he's
my math teacher.

- You think David oughta get
in the newspaper game, Pop?

- Oh, yes I do, Rick.

Either that or the
diplomatic service.

[music playing]

Hello?
- Hello, Oz?

This is Thorny.

- Oh, hiya, Thorny.

- Say, I read David's
column in the school paper.

You know, I'm sure glad he
was so nice to Coach Shipley.

- Well, what happened to you?

- Well, I met the coach.

Gee, I think he's a fine fellow.

- Well, yeah.

I think so.

- You know, the team's had
some awful breaks this year.

First-string shortstop
had his appendix out,

and then the star
pitcher flunked Spanish.

Boy, those are tough breaks.

- Yes, they are.

- And when you consider
the poor guy also

teaches math, well, that
gives him a pretty full day.

- Yeah, it sure does.

- Oz, I don't like
to brag, but you

know, Coach Shipley thinks
the world of my boy, Will.

Says he oughta be one of
his best players next year.

- Oh?

- Yeah, and he also
invited Catherine

and me over to his
house some night.

He wants to discuss the team
and get some of my suggestions.

He sure takes care
of his athletes, too.

He was just on his way over
to Gordon Bellinger's house.

He's the kid who just
had the operation.

Coach Shipley was taking him
some magazines and some ice

cream.

- Thorny, where and when
did you meet Coach Shipley?

- At the drugstore
a little while ago.

[music playing]

- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by
Hotpoint quality appliances.

Remember, Hotpoint changes
your viewpoint automatically.

[music playing]

The part of Coach
Shipley was played

by Gil Stratton,
Jr. Don't forget

that a completely different
episode of "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet" is heard
every Friday night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio station.

[music playing]