Original subtitles

[music playing]

- Listerine, the most widely used antiseptic in the world,

and Antizyme, the first all-day anti-enzyme toothpaste present

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And, of course, his lovely wife, Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys, David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother, the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

[music playing]

- Aren't you finished making that yet?

- Give me a chance, will you?

- You been working on it ever since breakfast.

Take you all morning just to make a bed?

- Why not?

It took me all night to mess it up.

- I'll get it for you.

Here, I'll help you.

- Cut it out, I can do it.

- I'm only trying to help you.

- Come on, it's my bed.

Now, let me have it!

- Let me have it!

- OK, I'll let you have it.

- Boys, I thought I told you to cut out

throwing these pillows around.

- Yeah, but that was five years ago.

- Well, it still goes.

- We weren't fighting, Pop.

The midget here just lost his temper.

- David comes in here and messes my bed all up.

- I was just trying to help you make it.

It takes you so darn long.

- Look, I told you guys to cut out the arguing.

- Look out, David.

- Are you kiddin'?

Pop's not a child, you know.

- You know, I haven't thrown one of these in quite a few years.

Your Uncle Al and I used to have some wonderful pillow

fights when we were kids.

I used to be able to hit him from clear across the room.

You know, there's a knack to throwing a pillow.

Oh!

- I thought I told you to cut out the pillow fights.

- Well, that was 25 years ago.

- What's going on here, anyway?

- Oh, I was just helping the--

I mean, Ricky's making up his bed here.

- Oh, it looks more like you're tearing that one apart.

- That's Ricky.

He makes a big project out of making a bed.

- You were supposed to make the beds in the first place.

- What were you gonna do?

- I was gonna watch.

That's the best way to learn, you know.

- If it was true, you'd be the smartest person in the world.

- Oh, yeah?

- Take it easy, will you, fellas?

I asked you guys not to stand around here and argue.

- Come on, David.

Let's go outside and argue.

- No, that's not gonna accomplish anything.

Let's approach this intelligently.

The trouble with you guys is you don't organize yourselves.

You can't accomplish anything in this world

without organization.

Now, for instance, suppose you're gonna make up a bed.

- Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

Am I a point killer?

- No, no.

Not at all.

Now, this just proves what I was trying

to point out to you guys.

While we were standing around here gassing--

Not gassing, but while we were discussing the situation,

your mother, who is well-organized,

made the bed with neatness and dispatch.

And why?

- Because she's a mother.

- Yes, yes, but mainly because she's organized.

- I wish we were.

We'd have shorter hours and better pay.

- You know what I mean, don't you, Harriet?

- Oh, yes, indeed I do, dear, and I'm glad you mentioned it.

There's a big stack of old newspapers down in the kitchen.

Would you take 'em out to the garage for me?

- Oh, yes I will in a little while.

Right now, I've got to meet Thorny.

I have an appointment to--

Oh, my goodness!

Look at the time.

I'm late.

Now, you see, fellas, what I mean

about organization helping you?

I had my excuse well-organized, so as a result,

I'll have a little spare time.

- Well, come on.

Your time's up.

- If there's one thing I forgot to tell you,

fellas, always yield to superior organization.

[music playing]

Harriet, where are those papers you wanted

me to carry out to the garage?

- Oh, David did it for me.

- David?

Gee, they're pretty heavy.

I hope they weren't too much for him.

- You're kidding, of course.

You taken a good look at David recently?

I'd hate to have him punch me in the nose.

- Well, I don't think he's allowed

to punch you in the nose.

Or me, either.

No, no, no.

He's much too kind.

- Remember when you used to carry him around

on your shoulders?

- Gosh, yes.

And he's a strong little guy, too.

Remember when we got him that first two wheeler?

He went scooting down the lawn there

and didn't know how to stop it.

[music playing]

- Remember when he and Ricky used

to go kiting down the hill on that little red wagon?

[music playing]

- Gee, kids are a lot of fun at that age.

We might as well face it.

The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be.

- Well, speak for yourself, grandpa.

- Oh, I didn't mean you specifically.

I'm just talking figuratively.

Oh, say, do those magazines go out to the garage, too?

- Yes, they do.

Would you take 'em out right away?

- Oh, why the particular hurry?

- Nothing.

I just want to catch up before old age sets in.

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi there, Thorny.

- Say, if we had an easy chair, we

could settle down and catch up on the news.

- You'll find these a little old for reading.

Harriet asked me to take them out to the garage for her.

And I had the--

I mean, I'll do it a little later.

What's the deal with the lamps there?

- Gonna take 'em out to my garage and hide 'em.

Get 'em out of the way.

- What's wrong with them?

They look fine to me.

- Well, I know, and I want to keep them that way.

One of Catherine's old nephews is coming over today,

and the last time he was here, he knocked both lamps over

twice. - Oh.

Maybe the kid just doesn't like them.

How old is he?

- Just at that destructive age.

That could be anywhere from 1 to 15.

- Yeah.

- I think he's five or six.

Just at his destructive best.

- Thorny, that's a fine attitude to take.

- Well, I think it's a very sensible attitude.

And that way, whatever furniture's left unbroken

will be a pleasant surprise.

- Thorny, if I were you, I'd be happy to have a little kid

like that around the house.

- Mm-hmm.

Well, you're only saying that 'cause you're not me.

- No, no.

I really mean it.

Harriet and I were just talking about the kids growing up.

David big enough to punch me in the nose.

- David punch you in the nose?

- No, Thorny.

We're just saying David's big enough to punch me in the nose,

not that he'd, you know.

The boys are really growing up.

- Well, at least they're old enough,

so that you can reason with them if they

want to punch you in the nose.

You know, tell them how wrong it'd be,

punching a cowardly old man like yourself.

- You keep that up and I'll sic David on you.

- Oh, no thanks, Ozzie.

He's a little too tough for me.

Besides, I think I'd better conserve my strength

till little Gerald arrives.

- Thorny, I'm surprised.

You talk as if you weren't happy to have

the little guy visit you.

- Oh, no, wait, Oz.

Don't get the wrong idea.

I'll be glad to see the little tyke.

Besides, I have no way of getting out of it.

- Thorny, I just got an idea.

Harriet was just saying how nice it'd

be to have little fellas around the house again.

Why don't you send little Gerald over

to visit us and surprise Harriet?

- You're kidding.

You wouldn't pull a dirty trick like that on Harriet.

- What are you talking about, Thorny?

She'd love it.

Do you think the little guy would mind staying with us?

- Are you really serious, Oz?

- Well, of course.

- Do you promise if it doesn't work out,

you won't send David over to punch me in the nose?

- Thorny, don't be silly.

What time do you expect the little guy to arrive?

- Well, sometime this afternoon.

Oh, by the way, he's staying overnight, you know?

- Oh, swell.

That's even better.

Gee, this is darn nice of you, Thorny.

I sure appreciate it.

- Well, that's OK, Oz.

Just go ahead and take advantage of me.

- Then it's all set? - Right.

I'll bring him over as soon as he arrives.

You won't back out now?

- No, of course not.

- You sure?

- Oh, of course I'm sure. - Good.

Then I'll take the lamps back in the house.

[music playing]

- Gee, this is swell.

[music playing]

[doorbell rings]

[music playing]

- Oh, hi, Helen. Come on in.

- Hi, Harriet.

I can't stay.

I just came over to thank you for recommending Mr. Billers.

- Oh, fine. I know you'll like him.

He papered our dining room and our bedroom last year.

He did a beautiful job.

When's he start over at your house?

- Well, he started this morning. That's why I have to hurry home.

- Oh, I wouldn't worry about him.

He's very dependable.

- I know he is, but you seem to forget

that I have two small boys with a rare talent

for getting into things.

So far, Georgie has kicked over a can of paint,

and Harry has painted his little sister's nose.

- Sounds like you've got your hands full.

- It's not me I'm worried about.

It's Mr. Billers.

I wouldn't be surprised if he papered one of the boys

into the wall in self-defense.

- Say, I've got a wonderful idea.

How long is Mr. Billers going to be over at your house?

- Well, just today and tomorrow, I think.

- Well, why don't you send the boys over here?

- Oh, Harriet, I couldn't do that.

- No, really, Helen.

I mean it.

Actually, you'd be doing us a big favor.

- You don't know what you're saying.

- No, honestly.

Ozzie was saying just this morning

how much he missed having little guys around the house.

We'd both just love to have them.

They could bunk in with David and Ricky.

- Well, OK.

It would be just wonderful, but are you sure now?

- Oh, absolutely.

- Well, I'll bring 'em right over before you change

your mind.

You crazy, mixed-up kid, you.

[music playing]

- Harriet?

- Hello, dear.

I was looking for you.

- Oh, that's a coincidence. I was looking for you, too.

- I have the most wonderful surprise for you.

- Well, how about that?

I have a surprise for you.

- Oh, what's yours?

- No, no.

Ladies first.

- Well, remember a little while ago, we

were talking about the boys growing up so fast?

- Well, yeah, and how nice it was

to have little fellows around the house.

- Well, looks like you're gonna get

your wish for a couple of days.

- Well, no.

That's my sur--

No, wait a minute.

Did you invite somebody, too?

- Yes, Helen's two little boys.

She's having their house redecorated,

and she didn't want the kids to wind up in the wallpaper.

Who did you invite?

- Thorny's little nephew, Gerald.

[door knocking]

Oh, I think I hear Thorny at the back door.

- Oh, here we go, dad.

You get the back, and I'll get the front.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

Where's Gerald?

- Well, Oz, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Are you really serious about this whole thing about having

little kids around the house?

- Well, now wait a minute.

You're not backing out, Thorny?

- No, Oz, it's nothing like that.

But you see, back where Gerald lives,

he has a very, very close friend.

As a matter of fact, they're inseparable.

- Thorny, his little friend is welcome, too.

- So wait, it's a little more than that, you see.

His friend has a friend, too.

- Thorny, how many little boys are there altogether?

- Five.

Come on in, boys.

This is Mr. Nelson.

[interposing voices]

- Hiya, fellas.

Well, fine, fellas.

Thorny, wait a minute! Where are you going?

- I'll see you later, Oz. Now, be good boys, won't you?

- Well, come on in here, fellows.

I want you to meet somebody.

It's kind of a surprise.

Harriet?

[interposing voices]

- So they brought their cousins.

- Well, Gerald had a friend, and his friend had a friend.

Boys?

These are-- Boys.

[interposing voices]

- No, no, don't worry.

I'll get everything organized.

[music playing]

Whoa, boys.

Whoa, fellas.

Wait a minute, boys.

Take it easy a second, will you?

Boys, will you listen to me a second, fellas?

Now, listen.

Now, the secret of having a lot of fun, boys,

either in a small group or a large group, is organization.

You've got to have a set plan.

Now, I have an idea that I think you guys will like.

How would you like to go on an overnight camping trip?

[boys agreeing]

- You mean tonight, Pop? - That's right.

We'll drive our car up to the mountains.

It'll only take about an hour.

We'll cook our dinner over an open fire.

We'll toast marshmallows, and we'll sleep in tents.

How's that sound to you guys?

Now, there's only one hitch, though.

We don't have enough camping equipment for all you fellas.

- How are we gonna get that, Pop?

- Well, that's where organization comes in.

Now, we'll form a couple of scouting parties.

Now, some of you guys can cover this block.

Some of you guys can cover the next block.

Ricky, you take one group, and David, you take another group.

- Gee, that's swell organizing, Pop.

- Well, thanks a lot.

Ricky, why don't you take this group right here?

Now, remember, fellas, get all sorts of camping equipment.

[interposing voices]

[music playing]

- Now, fellas, just quickly come back and have the equipment

on the living room floor.

- What is this, a stampede?

- Oh, Harriet.

No, I'm just gonna take some of the boys on a camping trip,

and they're out gathering some camping equipment.

- Oh, don't you think some of those boys

are awfully young to take on a camping trip?

- Don't worry about a thing.

We all have everything carefully organized.

See, Ricky'll take care of the younger boys,

and then David'll watch out for Ricky

and some of the older boys to make sure they don't get lost.

And then I'll watch out for the the whole group.

And that way, everybody has somebody looking out for him.

- Except you.

- For goodness' sakes, you don't think I'll get lost, do you?

I say you don't think I need somebody to look out for me,

do you?

- Yes, I heard you, dear.

I was just trying to decide what I should

wear on the camping trip.

[music playing]

- That's it, boys.

[music playing]

Don't mess it all up.

- Holy smokes, you guys, you made quite a haul here.

- Yeah, we sure did, didn't we, Pop?

[music playing]

- How about this, Pop?

- Oh, here comes the second unit.

Just put the stuff right over here, boys.

Make it easy now.

Remember, boys, the secret of having a good time

is organization.

Let's organize this party right from the start.

Look out.

We're losing a fellow here.

That goes for camping trips, too.

- I'll say.

- Don't look so worried, dear.

The boys are piling everything in a neat pile.

- Oh, no, I'm not worried about that,

but you know it's starting to rain?

- You're kidding? - No, really.

Take a look outside, and see for yourself.

- Oh, heck. Then we can't go camping.

- No, no, no, no, wait a minute.

Who says you can't?

- Well, you can't possibly find a good campsite

in this kind of weather.

- Well, of course I can.

- Are you kidding?

- No, I'm not kidding.

I'll find you guys the most wonderful campsite you've ever

seen.

A cozy fire to snuggle up to.

Nice, warm blankets while you're curled up under your tents

listening to the friendly patter of the rain.

How's that sound, boys?

[music playing]

Well, looks like the camp is well-established here, fellas.

- Yeah, we got everything but the ants, Pop.

- I got some ants right here, David.

- OK.

I think we can do without the ants for right now.

- OK, men.

Chow's on.

- Wait, wait, take it easy now, fellas.

That's it. Line up in single file.

Make way for the little boys.

[music playing]

[SINGING] In Napoli, where everything is fine,

you get a nice Italian wine.

You wait for me.

I'm gonna marry Marietta, she cook such a good spaghetti.

My Marietta, since I first met her,

I can't forget the way she kissed me.

I know she says she miss a me.

When I feel sad, [inaudible] take her to the [inaudible]..

She always sing a song Italian [inaudible]

She sing a great [inaudible] in Napoli in Italy.

[music playing]

- Don't grab, now.

There's enough for all of you.

[music playing]

[interposing voices]

[music playing]

- Say, boys, I hate to be the bearer of sad news,

but I'm afraid it's time to hit the sack.

Let's see, now.

If I stand up, fellows, and we'll

see if we can pair you off in the right place.

Let's see.

We got one, two--

Wait a second.

We were only supposed to have nine boys here.

Where did the rest of these guys come from?

- Well, we were out getting the camping equipment,

and the word got around.

And they asked their mothers if they could stay,

and they said it was OK.

- No wonder I didn't get any stew for dinner.

- Can they stay, Pop?

- Well, gee, it's raining outside,

and they have their pajamas.

So I think they can stay.

Wait a minute now.

Let's straighten this out now. Let's see.

Suppose you guys go over in this tent number one.

You three fellas here.

- Hey, Pop, look what I found hidden by the television.

- Well, here's one I haven't seen before.

You have a brother around here?

- Oh, right here.

- Oh.

Well, you can sleep in with your big brother.

[music playing]

- Can you please read me a story?

I always have to have a story before I go to sleep.

- Oh.

Well, it's been quite a while since I've

told any bedtime stories to little boys.

Let me think.

Oh, I have a good one.

Once upon a time, there were three bears.

- That's no good.

- How about "Little Red Riding Hood"?

- Nah.

- Here, Pop.

Maybe he'd like this one.

- "Captain Flame and the Space Bandits."

- Yeah.

- OK.

"Captain Flame had been called before his superior officer,

General Blaze, many times and given strange and dangerous

assignments, but this one was the most challenging of all.

Captain Flame said to the General,

'We have evidence that people are being kidnapped off

the face of the Earth by flying saucers.'"

[music playing]

- Harriet, I can't thank you and Ozzie enough.

- Oh, don't be silly. We really enjoyed it.

- It was a lot of fun.

- I think you both deserve a medal for bravery.

17 boys in one house, and it's right where it was last night.

- They were really very good.

There was only one casualty, a broken dish.

- Oh, I hope one of mine didn't do it.

- No, one of mine did.

- Well, it was your own fault, Harriet.

You shouldn't have asked me to clear off the breakfast dishes.

- We better get along now. Thanks again.

- Oh, you're welcome.

- Any time at all.

[interposing voices]

- So long, fellas.

Well, I guess that does it.

- Well, I sure did a good job of cleaning things up.

Did David and Ricky go out?

- Yeah, they're returning the camping equipment

to the neighbors.

- Sure seems quiet in here all of a sudden.

- Yeah, doesn't it, though?

It was fun, though.

- Well, I'll tell you this much.

I'm awfully glad it rained last night.

Would have been absolutely impossible

to take that bunch of little guys on a camping trip.

- Oh, sure.

I mean, they were much too young to go camping.

- But you suggested it.

- Well, yes, I suggested it.

But, you see, especially where little fellows that age

are concerned, the biggest fun of a camping trip or something

like that is the planning of it, the anticipation of it.

- Well, but supposing it hadn't rained?

- Well, the newspaper said it was going to rain,

and the man on television said it was gonna rain.

I felt pretty safe.

- Oh, pretty foxy, weren't you?

- Oh, I don't mess around, boy.

- Well, they certainly were a nice bunch of little guys.

- How about that one little guy?

That little Tony?

Did you notice the way he climbed into my lap

and asked me to tell him a bedtime story?

It reminded me of the way David used to do.

Remember when he used to sit in your lap?

- If he sat on my lap now, he'd squash me.

- Did you notice how David and Ricky took charge

of the other little fellas?

You know, in a lot of big families, they do that.

I mean, the older children practically

bring up the younger kids.

- Who knows?

We may have another little guy around here

sooner than you think.

- Wait a minute.

What do you mean by that?

- Well, David is 17.

Kids are getting married pretty young these days.

Who knows?

You may be a grandpa before you know it.

- Oh.

Yeah.

Let's not rush this, though, huh?

- Don't you think it'll be fun being a grandpa?

- Oh, oh, yes.

Of course, it's like the fellow said.

I don't mind being a grandpa, but I'm not

so sure I like the idea of being married to a grandma.

- All right, now, I think grandma better

get lunch started.

- Hi, Pop.

- Oh, hi, fellas. - Hi, Pop.

- We got all the stuff back to the neighbors.

- Oh, that's swell.

- Gee, the kids sure had a swell time.

So did I.

- And so did I.

- Oh, that's good.

Sometimes, your mother has a tendency

to think of you guys as being older than you really are.

Just remember that you're still both young boys.

- Sure, Pop.

Pop, can I have some money?

I want to take somebody to the movies this afternoon.

- Oh.

Well, David, I want you to do what you want, but at your age,

I think I'd play the field a little bit.

I mean, don't get too serious and rush into things too soon.

Who are you going to take?

- Ricky.

- Me.

- Oh, sure.

Here, boys. - Thanks, Pop.

- Thanks, Pop.

[music playing]

- Is there somebody at the front door?

- Well, apparently whoever it was left this and scurried off.

- What is it?

Looks like candy.

- Well, it looks like a present of some sort.

They left this note here.

Oh, it's from Thorny.

"Dear Oz, your genius for organization

has made you a celebrity around here."

That's nice of him.

"Ever since your camping party, the kids in the neighborhood

all insist on pitching tents in their living rooms

and eating toasted marshmallows.

All of your neighbors have organized to present you

with this little gift.

You deserve it."

- Well, go on, open it up.

I want to see what it is.

- Is it cookies or candy or something?

[music playing]

- Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by Hotpoint quality appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint for the finest first.

[music playing]

The part of Tony was played by Anthony Montenaro,

Jr. Helen was Helen Parrish.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

Don't forget that a completely different episode

of "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for time and radio station.

[music playing]

- Congratulations to the Boy Scouts of America

on their 44th birthday, another important milestone

along the trail of service to youth.