All language subtitles for The.Adventures.Of.Ozzie.And.Harriet.S02E21.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP2.0.x264-ZEW.en

[music playing]

- Listerine, the most widely
used antiseptic in the world,

and Antizyme, the first all-day
anti-enzyme toothpaste present

"The Adventures of
Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And, of course, his lovely wife,
Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next
door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

[music playing]

- Aren't you finished
making that yet?

- Give me a chance, will you?

- You been working on
it ever since breakfast.

Take you all morning
just to make a bed?

- Why not?

It took me all
night to mess it up.

- I'll get it for you.

Here, I'll help you.

- Cut it out, I can do it.

- I'm only trying to help you.

- Come on, it's my bed.

Now, let me have it!

- Let me have it!

- OK, I'll let you have it.

- Boys, I thought I
told you to cut out

throwing these pillows around.

- Yeah, but that
was five years ago.

- Well, it still goes.

- We weren't fighting, Pop.

The midget here just
lost his temper.

- David comes in here
and messes my bed all up.

- I was just trying
to help you make it.

It takes you so darn long.

- Look, I told you guys
to cut out the arguing.

- Look out, David.

- Are you kiddin'?

Pop's not a child, you know.

- You know, I haven't thrown one
of these in quite a few years.

Your Uncle Al and I used to
have some wonderful pillow

fights when we were kids.

I used to be able to hit him
from clear across the room.

You know, there's a knack
to throwing a pillow.

Oh!

- I thought I told you to
cut out the pillow fights.

- Well, that was 25 years ago.

- What's going on here, anyway?

- Oh, I was just helping the--

I mean, Ricky's making
up his bed here.

- Oh, it looks more like
you're tearing that one apart.

- That's Ricky.

He makes a big project
out of making a bed.

- You were supposed to make
the beds in the first place.

- What were you gonna do?

- I was gonna watch.

That's the best way
to learn, you know.

- If it was true, you'd be the
smartest person in the world.

- Oh, yeah?

- Take it easy,
will you, fellas?

I asked you guys not to
stand around here and argue.

- Come on, David.

Let's go outside and argue.

- No, that's not gonna
accomplish anything.

Let's approach
this intelligently.

The trouble with you guys is
you don't organize yourselves.

You can't accomplish
anything in this world

without organization.

Now, for instance, suppose
you're gonna make up a bed.

- Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

Am I a point killer?

- No, no.

Not at all.

Now, this just proves
what I was trying

to point out to you guys.

While we were standing
around here gassing--

Not gassing, but while we
were discussing the situation,

your mother, who
is well-organized,

made the bed with
neatness and dispatch.

And why?

- Because she's a mother.

- Yes, yes, but mainly
because she's organized.

- I wish we were.

We'd have shorter
hours and better pay.

- You know what I mean,
don't you, Harriet?

- Oh, yes, indeed I do, dear,
and I'm glad you mentioned it.

There's a big stack of old
newspapers down in the kitchen.

Would you take 'em out
to the garage for me?

- Oh, yes I will
in a little while.

Right now, I've
got to meet Thorny.

I have an appointment to--

Oh, my goodness!

Look at the time.

I'm late.

Now, you see,
fellas, what I mean

about organization helping you?

I had my excuse
well-organized, so as a result,

I'll have a little spare time.

- Well, come on.

Your time's up.

- If there's one thing
I forgot to tell you,

fellas, always yield to
superior organization.

[music playing]

Harriet, where are
those papers you wanted

me to carry out to the garage?

- Oh, David did it for me.

- David?

Gee, they're pretty heavy.

I hope they weren't
too much for him.

- You're kidding, of course.

You taken a good look
at David recently?

I'd hate to have him
punch me in the nose.

- Well, I don't
think he's allowed

to punch you in the nose.

Or me, either.

No, no, no.

He's much too kind.

- Remember when you
used to carry him around

on your shoulders?

- Gosh, yes.

And he's a strong
little guy, too.

Remember when we got him
that first two wheeler?

He went scooting
down the lawn there

and didn't know how to stop it.

[music playing]

- Remember when
he and Ricky used

to go kiting down the hill
on that little red wagon?

[music playing]

- Gee, kids are a lot
of fun at that age.

We might as well face it.

The old gray mare, she
ain't what she used to be.

- Well, speak for
yourself, grandpa.

- Oh, I didn't mean
you specifically.

I'm just talking figuratively.

Oh, say, do those magazines
go out to the garage, too?

- Yes, they do.

Would you take 'em
out right away?

- Oh, why the particular hurry?

- Nothing.

I just want to catch up
before old age sets in.

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi there, Thorny.

- Say, if we had
an easy chair, we

could settle down and
catch up on the news.

- You'll find these a
little old for reading.

Harriet asked me to take them
out to the garage for her.

And I had the--

I mean, I'll do
it a little later.

What's the deal with
the lamps there?

- Gonna take 'em out to
my garage and hide 'em.

Get 'em out of the way.

- What's wrong with them?

They look fine to me.

- Well, I know, and I want
to keep them that way.

One of Catherine's old
nephews is coming over today,

and the last time he was here,
he knocked both lamps over

twice.
- Oh.

Maybe the kid just
doesn't like them.

How old is he?

- Just at that destructive age.

That could be
anywhere from 1 to 15.

- Yeah.

- I think he's five or six.

Just at his destructive best.

- Thorny, that's a
fine attitude to take.

- Well, I think it's a
very sensible attitude.

And that way, whatever
furniture's left unbroken

will be a pleasant surprise.

- Thorny, if I were you, I'd
be happy to have a little kid

like that around the house.

- Mm-hmm.

Well, you're only saying
that 'cause you're not me.

- No, no.

I really mean it.

Harriet and I were just talking
about the kids growing up.

David big enough to
punch me in the nose.

- David punch you in the nose?

- No, Thorny.

We're just saying David's big
enough to punch me in the nose,

not that he'd, you know.

The boys are really growing up.

- Well, at least
they're old enough,

so that you can reason
with them if they

want to punch you in the nose.

You know, tell them
how wrong it'd be,

punching a cowardly
old man like yourself.

- You keep that up and
I'll sic David on you.

- Oh, no thanks, Ozzie.

He's a little too tough for me.

Besides, I think I'd
better conserve my strength

till little Gerald arrives.

- Thorny, I'm surprised.

You talk as if you
weren't happy to have

the little guy visit you.

- Oh, no, wait, Oz.

Don't get the wrong idea.

I'll be glad to see
the little tyke.

Besides, I have no way
of getting out of it.

- Thorny, I just got an idea.

Harriet was just
saying how nice it'd

be to have little fellas
around the house again.

Why don't you send
little Gerald over

to visit us and
surprise Harriet?

- You're kidding.

You wouldn't pull a dirty
trick like that on Harriet.

- What are you
talking about, Thorny?

She'd love it.

Do you think the little guy
would mind staying with us?

- Are you really serious, Oz?

- Well, of course.

- Do you promise if
it doesn't work out,

you won't send David over
to punch me in the nose?

- Thorny, don't be silly.

What time do you expect
the little guy to arrive?

- Well, sometime this afternoon.

Oh, by the way, he's
staying overnight, you know?

- Oh, swell.

That's even better.

Gee, this is darn
nice of you, Thorny.

I sure appreciate it.

- Well, that's OK, Oz.

Just go ahead and
take advantage of me.

- Then it's all set?
- Right.

I'll bring him over
as soon as he arrives.

You won't back out now?

- No, of course not.

- You sure?

- Oh, of course I'm sure.
- Good.

Then I'll take the
lamps back in the house.

[music playing]

- Gee, this is swell.

[music playing]

[doorbell rings]

[music playing]

- Oh, hi, Helen.
Come on in.

- Hi, Harriet.

I can't stay.

I just came over to thank you
for recommending Mr. Billers.

- Oh, fine.
I know you'll like him.

He papered our dining room
and our bedroom last year.

He did a beautiful job.

When's he start
over at your house?

- Well, he started this morning.
That's why I have to hurry home.

- Oh, I wouldn't
worry about him.

He's very dependable.

- I know he is, but
you seem to forget

that I have two small
boys with a rare talent

for getting into things.

So far, Georgie has kicked
over a can of paint,

and Harry has painted
his little sister's nose.

- Sounds like you've
got your hands full.

- It's not me I'm worried about.

It's Mr. Billers.

I wouldn't be surprised if
he papered one of the boys

into the wall in self-defense.

- Say, I've got
a wonderful idea.

How long is Mr. Billers going
to be over at your house?

- Well, just today
and tomorrow, I think.

- Well, why don't you
send the boys over here?

- Oh, Harriet, I
couldn't do that.

- No, really, Helen.

I mean it.

Actually, you'd be
doing us a big favor.

- You don't know
what you're saying.

- No, honestly.

Ozzie was saying
just this morning

how much he missed having
little guys around the house.

We'd both just
love to have them.

They could bunk in
with David and Ricky.

- Well, OK.

It would be just wonderful,
but are you sure now?

- Oh, absolutely.

- Well, I'll bring 'em
right over before you change

your mind.

You crazy, mixed-up kid, you.

[music playing]

- Harriet?

- Hello, dear.

I was looking for you.

- Oh, that's a coincidence.
I was looking for you, too.

- I have the most
wonderful surprise for you.

- Well, how about that?

I have a surprise for you.

- Oh, what's yours?

- No, no.

Ladies first.

- Well, remember a
little while ago, we

were talking about the
boys growing up so fast?

- Well, yeah, and
how nice it was

to have little fellows
around the house.

- Well, looks like
you're gonna get

your wish for a couple of days.

- Well, no.

That's my sur--

No, wait a minute.

Did you invite somebody, too?

- Yes, Helen's two little boys.

She's having their
house redecorated,

and she didn't want the kids
to wind up in the wallpaper.

Who did you invite?

- Thorny's little
nephew, Gerald.

[door knocking]

Oh, I think I hear
Thorny at the back door.

- Oh, here we go, dad.

You get the back, and
I'll get the front.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

Where's Gerald?

- Well, Oz, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.

Are you really serious about
this whole thing about having

little kids around the house?

- Well, now wait a minute.

You're not backing out, Thorny?

- No, Oz, it's
nothing like that.

But you see, back
where Gerald lives,

he has a very,
very close friend.

As a matter of fact,
they're inseparable.

- Thorny, his little
friend is welcome, too.

- So wait, it's a little
more than that, you see.

His friend has a friend, too.

- Thorny, how many little
boys are there altogether?

- Five.

Come on in, boys.

This is Mr. Nelson.

[interposing voices]

- Hiya, fellas.

Well, fine, fellas.

Thorny, wait a minute!
Where are you going?

- I'll see you later, Oz.
Now, be good boys, won't you?

- Well, come on
in here, fellows.

I want you to meet somebody.

It's kind of a surprise.

Harriet?

[interposing voices]

- So they brought their cousins.

- Well, Gerald had a friend,
and his friend had a friend.

Boys?

These are-- Boys.

[interposing voices]

- No, no, don't worry.

I'll get everything organized.

[music playing]

Whoa, boys.

Whoa, fellas.

Wait a minute, boys.

Take it easy a second, will you?

Boys, will you listen
to me a second, fellas?

Now, listen.

Now, the secret of having
a lot of fun, boys,

either in a small group or a
large group, is organization.

You've got to have a set plan.

Now, I have an idea that I
think you guys will like.

How would you like to go on
an overnight camping trip?

[boys agreeing]

- You mean tonight, Pop?
- That's right.

We'll drive our car
up to the mountains.

It'll only take about an hour.

We'll cook our dinner
over an open fire.

We'll toast marshmallows,
and we'll sleep in tents.

How's that sound to you guys?

Now, there's only
one hitch, though.

We don't have enough camping
equipment for all you fellas.

- How are we gonna
get that, Pop?

- Well, that's where
organization comes in.

Now, we'll form a couple
of scouting parties.

Now, some of you guys
can cover this block.

Some of you guys can
cover the next block.

Ricky, you take one group, and
David, you take another group.

- Gee, that's swell
organizing, Pop.

- Well, thanks a lot.

Ricky, why don't you take
this group right here?

Now, remember, fellas, get all
sorts of camping equipment.

[interposing voices]

[music playing]

- Now, fellas, just quickly
come back and have the equipment

on the living room floor.

- What is this, a stampede?

- Oh, Harriet.

No, I'm just gonna take some
of the boys on a camping trip,

and they're out gathering
some camping equipment.

- Oh, don't you think
some of those boys

are awfully young to
take on a camping trip?

- Don't worry about a thing.

We all have everything
carefully organized.

See, Ricky'll take care
of the younger boys,

and then David'll
watch out for Ricky

and some of the older boys to
make sure they don't get lost.

And then I'll watch out
for the the whole group.

And that way, everybody has
somebody looking out for him.

- Except you.

- For goodness' sakes, you don't
think I'll get lost, do you?

I say you don't think I need
somebody to look out for me,

do you?

- Yes, I heard you, dear.

I was just trying to
decide what I should

wear on the camping trip.

[music playing]

- That's it, boys.

[music playing]

Don't mess it all up.

- Holy smokes, you guys,
you made quite a haul here.

- Yeah, we sure
did, didn't we, Pop?

[music playing]

- How about this, Pop?

- Oh, here comes
the second unit.

Just put the stuff
right over here, boys.

Make it easy now.

Remember, boys, the secret
of having a good time

is organization.

Let's organize this party
right from the start.

Look out.

We're losing a fellow here.

That goes for
camping trips, too.

- I'll say.

- Don't look so worried, dear.

The boys are piling
everything in a neat pile.

- Oh, no, I'm not
worried about that,

but you know it's
starting to rain?

- You're kidding?
- No, really.

Take a look outside,
and see for yourself.

- Oh, heck.
Then we can't go camping.

- No, no, no, no, wait a minute.

Who says you can't?

- Well, you can't possibly
find a good campsite

in this kind of weather.

- Well, of course I can.

- Are you kidding?

- No, I'm not kidding.

I'll find you guys the most
wonderful campsite you've ever

seen.

A cozy fire to snuggle up to.

Nice, warm blankets while you're
curled up under your tents

listening to the friendly
patter of the rain.

How's that sound, boys?

[music playing]

Well, looks like the camp is
well-established here, fellas.

- Yeah, we got everything
but the ants, Pop.

- I got some ants
right here, David.

- OK.

I think we can do without
the ants for right now.

- OK, men.

Chow's on.

- Wait, wait, take
it easy now, fellas.

That's it.
Line up in single file.

Make way for the little boys.

[music playing]

[SINGING] In Napoli,
where everything is fine,

you get a nice Italian wine.

You wait for me.

I'm gonna marry Marietta, she
cook such a good spaghetti.

My Marietta, since
I first met her,

I can't forget the
way she kissed me.

I know she says she miss a me.

When I feel sad, [inaudible]
take her to the [inaudible]..

She always sing a song
Italian [inaudible]

She sing a great [inaudible]
in Napoli in Italy.

[music playing]

- Don't grab, now.

There's enough for all of you.

[music playing]

[interposing voices]

[music playing]

- Say, boys, I hate to be
the bearer of sad news,

but I'm afraid it's
time to hit the sack.

Let's see, now.

If I stand up,
fellows, and we'll

see if we can pair you
off in the right place.

Let's see.

We got one, two--

Wait a second.

We were only supposed
to have nine boys here.

Where did the rest of
these guys come from?

- Well, we were out getting
the camping equipment,

and the word got around.

And they asked their
mothers if they could stay,

and they said it was OK.

- No wonder I didn't
get any stew for dinner.

- Can they stay, Pop?

- Well, gee, it's
raining outside,

and they have their pajamas.

So I think they can stay.

Wait a minute now.

Let's straighten this out now.
Let's see.

Suppose you guys go over
in this tent number one.

You three fellas here.

- Hey, Pop, look what I found
hidden by the television.

- Well, here's one I
haven't seen before.

You have a brother around here?

- Oh, right here.

- Oh.

Well, you can sleep in
with your big brother.

[music playing]

- Can you please
read me a story?

I always have to have a
story before I go to sleep.

- Oh.

Well, it's been quite
a while since I've

told any bedtime
stories to little boys.

Let me think.

Oh, I have a good one.

Once upon a time,
there were three bears.

- That's no good.

- How about "Little
Red Riding Hood"?

- Nah.

- Here, Pop.

Maybe he'd like this one.

- "Captain Flame and
the Space Bandits."

- Yeah.

- OK.

"Captain Flame had been called
before his superior officer,

General Blaze, many times and
given strange and dangerous

assignments, but this one was
the most challenging of all.

Captain Flame said
to the General,

'We have evidence that people
are being kidnapped off

the face of the Earth
by flying saucers.'"

[music playing]

- Harriet, I can't thank
you and Ozzie enough.

- Oh, don't be silly.
We really enjoyed it.

- It was a lot of fun.

- I think you both deserve
a medal for bravery.

17 boys in one house, and it's
right where it was last night.

- They were really very good.

There was only one
casualty, a broken dish.

- Oh, I hope one of
mine didn't do it.

- No, one of mine did.

- Well, it was your
own fault, Harriet.

You shouldn't have asked me to
clear off the breakfast dishes.

- We better get along now.
Thanks again.

- Oh, you're welcome.

- Any time at all.

[interposing voices]

- So long, fellas.

Well, I guess that does it.

- Well, I sure did a good
job of cleaning things up.

Did David and Ricky go out?

- Yeah, they're returning
the camping equipment

to the neighbors.

- Sure seems quiet in
here all of a sudden.

- Yeah, doesn't it, though?

It was fun, though.

- Well, I'll tell you this much.

I'm awfully glad it
rained last night.

Would have been
absolutely impossible

to take that bunch of little
guys on a camping trip.

- Oh, sure.

I mean, they were much
too young to go camping.

- But you suggested it.

- Well, yes, I suggested it.

But, you see, especially
where little fellows that age

are concerned, the biggest fun
of a camping trip or something

like that is the planning of
it, the anticipation of it.

- Well, but supposing
it hadn't rained?

- Well, the newspaper
said it was going to rain,

and the man on television
said it was gonna rain.

I felt pretty safe.

- Oh, pretty foxy, weren't you?

- Oh, I don't mess around, boy.

- Well, they certainly were
a nice bunch of little guys.

- How about that one little guy?

That little Tony?

Did you notice the way
he climbed into my lap

and asked me to tell
him a bedtime story?

It reminded me of the
way David used to do.

Remember when he used
to sit in your lap?

- If he sat on my lap
now, he'd squash me.

- Did you notice how David
and Ricky took charge

of the other little fellas?

You know, in a lot of big
families, they do that.

I mean, the older
children practically

bring up the younger kids.

- Who knows?

We may have another
little guy around here

sooner than you think.

- Wait a minute.

What do you mean by that?

- Well, David is 17.

Kids are getting married
pretty young these days.

Who knows?

You may be a grandpa
before you know it.

- Oh.

Yeah.

Let's not rush
this, though, huh?

- Don't you think it'll
be fun being a grandpa?

- Oh, oh, yes.

Of course, it's like
the fellow said.

I don't mind being a
grandpa, but I'm not

so sure I like the idea of
being married to a grandma.

- All right, now, I
think grandma better

get lunch started.

- Hi, Pop.

- Oh, hi, fellas.
- Hi, Pop.

- We got all the stuff
back to the neighbors.

- Oh, that's swell.

- Gee, the kids sure
had a swell time.

So did I.

- And so did I.

- Oh, that's good.

Sometimes, your
mother has a tendency

to think of you guys as being
older than you really are.

Just remember that you're
still both young boys.

- Sure, Pop.

Pop, can I have some money?

I want to take somebody to
the movies this afternoon.

- Oh.

Well, David, I want you to do
what you want, but at your age,

I think I'd play the
field a little bit.

I mean, don't get too serious
and rush into things too soon.

Who are you going to take?

- Ricky.

- Me.

- Oh, sure.

Here, boys.
- Thanks, Pop.

- Thanks, Pop.

[music playing]

- Is there somebody
at the front door?

- Well, apparently whoever it
was left this and scurried off.

- What is it?

Looks like candy.

- Well, it looks like
a present of some sort.

They left this note here.

Oh, it's from Thorny.

"Dear Oz, your genius
for organization

has made you a
celebrity around here."

That's nice of him.

"Ever since your camping party,
the kids in the neighborhood

all insist on pitching
tents in their living rooms

and eating toasted marshmallows.

All of your neighbors have
organized to present you

with this little gift.

You deserve it."

- Well, go on, open it up.

I want to see what it is.

- Is it cookies or
candy or something?

[music playing]

- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by
Hotpoint quality appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint
for the finest first.

[music playing]

The part of Tony was played
by Anthony Montenaro,

Jr. Helen was Helen Parrish.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio station.

[music playing]

- Congratulations to the
Boy Scouts of America

on their 44th birthday,
another important milestone

along the trail of
service to youth.