Original subtitles

Hello hello. Where are you going with these birdies?

These are no birdies, these are owls, Owls from Athens.

I thought these were pigeons. Birds of peace.

It's not about peace, it's about the Olympics.

But what are you doing here in Berlin...

...this year the games don't happen here,

They are held in our secret capital. The capital of our movement.

I know, but we wanted to leave one owl here, as a symbol for the Olympic spirit.

A stuffed Olympic spirit, no no...

Better get your birds to Munich.

We don't want to offend the Bavarian lion.

And tell the Munich people that our thoughts are with them,

Oh, I guess Berlin was a bit of a detour then.

Detour?

Berlin is always worth a detour.

Stop! Where do you want to go with these?

These are owls from Athens. I carry them to the Olympic games in Munich.

Are you crackers?

No, but the owls would like some.

Are you trying to pull my leg?

No, I don't have a free hand.

They are supposed to take off the day of the opening and go back to Athens.

Germany greets Hellas, Greece, the land of the Greek.

Which one?

There is just one Hellas.

Which Germany greets Hellas is what I want to know.

The whole of it of cause.

Sure, I thought so... I could arrest you because of antipatriotism...

...but I would just make a fool of myself.

You are mad, absolutely crackers.

Beat it!

Identification.

Please turn around sir.

Your profile seems trustworthy, but still, you could be a Polish agent.

If you have nothing to hide, look straight into my eyes.

Get out, open the trunk and the hood,

let me take a look underneath the seats...

...show me your secret hiding places and open the tank.

What is in there? Something dangerous?

No, just owls.

That's not the first time I hear that joke today. It is getting kind of old.

It seems you think I am stupid. Close the trunk.

What is your profession? Student? What are you studying?

I am a sports student.

Is it possible that you work as a spy for your capitalist Olympic committee?

What should I spy for? - I am going to tell you.

You are spying because of the scientific methods that are the reason...

...for our great success and demonstrate the clear superiority of our social system.

You are going to ride the gravy train in Munich then.

Let's not talk about gravy, but you are right.

How many medals shall we leave to you guys?

Don't worry, we don't have to win.

Is that a new scheme? You don't even try?

It is nice to win, but taking part is what counts.

Alright, have fun loosing then.

And you try winning.

You bet your life we will.

Try winning... Identification?

The production society ONOS presents old-fashioned tricks to win Olympic gold.

...be victorious...

Praise, what makes you hard.

...be victorious...

Official feature for the 45th Olympics.

This story is set during the 45th Olympics but the innuendos are up to date.

Back in the day Sparta and Athens were fighting.

Today East and West peacefully measure their powers.

Back in the day the contestants were naked.

Today it is easier to tell them apart. Besides that, everything is the same.

Come on. Alright.

I think this is an unnecessary provocation.

I don't care what you think.

Hand me the head.

Don't you think they will realise it's just a wooden head?

An unnecessary provocation.

I don't care. They are going to shoot anyway.

God, they got it.

Stop shooting. I need to get in, I am a Greek, like you.

Spartan. - Spartan!

Get up.

These arrows are so dangerous...

Try holding up your hand.

The wall is to high.

Get on my shoulders.

But I am afraid of the arrows...

As long as they don't hit your head.

I don't know...

Come on.

So?

Slight breeze from the east.

I am afraid you are much to big for that little stick.

I am quite sure it is going to break.

Did you forget something?

The password.

"Despise joy."

Are you ok? - Shut up.

..till the last breath.

If an enemy comes your way...

...hit him like you never hit before.

Be prepared to be the best in the world...

Rough as leather and quick as an arrow...

...always ready, all the time...

...always hard as steel.

Fight for Sparta's glory and honour...

There is one thing I am sure off: You are going to make the headlines.

~Fat guy from Athens in front of the Spartan health commission.”

That's where you ended up.

Maybe you should undress and lie down too.

They will to tell you that the ratio between your head, belly and bum is off.

They are going to throw you into the sea. That's how they do it here.

Underdeveloped. This one could neither be a runner nor a wrestler.

The proportions are off. He would bring shame over you.

Did you hear?

Come on, I am the father of one of the most beautiful girls in Sparta.

Did not work out this time. You will have to find a better man for you wife.

Put it to the others.

You can't do that.

As soon as [ produce a boy, you take it from me.

You already took my firstborn, 20 years ago. I want to keep this one.

No way. He needs to be abandoned. Get a hold of yourself.

What are you saying? You just took the last fruit of my loins.

You don't behave like a Spartan. Get him out.

Get your fingers of the basket. - Robbers, murderers.

The gods are going to punish you. You are meddling with their business.

That is a great kid. Begotten and born for the glory of Sparta.

Tell me Creon, would you be willing to give me a kid like that?

I am young and strong.

Take a look.

Ok Nico.

I can do it for the Glory and Honour of Sparta.

Stupid game.

"Bourgeois from Athens on the war path."

It is quite amazing how wonderful Spartans are if you take into account...

...that they live in huge barracks, mainly eat black broth, sleep on straw...

...wear sackcloth with nothing underneath...

...and freeze of their private parts during winter.

Including girls.

They win the Olympics for 100 years.

I really think we should stop trying.

You can't beat them with your legs or muscles.

Go!

The girl is even quicker than the other Olympic contestants.

Contestants, step forward!

Shame on you.

If people realize that Sparta's girls are faster than its Olympic contestants...

...you will reap laughter instead of glory and honour.

You have to be

tough as leather,

quick as an arrow and hard as stone.

We have the best society with the best training and the best achievements.

We hate entertainment and hate Athens.

We love peace and we fight for the...

...glory and honour of Sparta.

Freeze!

Glory and honour for Sparta. ...Rough as leather, swift as an arrow...

Dismissed!

I am not happy at all that I am the faster runner Glaukias.

I would love it if you would beat me because you are the man.

I don't know what makes you faster than me, but I will figure it out.

We should train together Glaukias, under the night sky.

I would love to but I don't want to raise any suspicions.

I swear by Aphrodite that we are just going to run.

Just running. By Apollo.

...all around the clock, we are searching for delight...

...all around, we hear the call of nature...

Don't take the biggest fish!

But love is expansive in Athens dad.

You don't have to choose the most expensive girls.

But they smell great and are amazingly educated.

Cleverness will make you unhappy in the long run.

In the end you are the son of a poor fisherman!

Things can always change dad. See you tomorrow!

He is on his way. Unbelievably fast.

Told you so. He is the fastest boy in Athens.

His legwork is almost comparable to the one of a Spartan virgin.

And he is running the same course every time?

And always with a fish under his arm?

Yes, and he disappears into the same house every time,

The house of three prostitutes. The most expensive ones in Athens.

No way he can he afford them as a fisherman.

It's the fisherman.

Look, it is still breathing. - Weakly though.

It's coming to an end.

Poor litte fish,

Look...

Do you really want to go into the house and stop the poor lad from having fun?

Exactly Nekeros.

Do you really think he will appreciate that?

Dear Nekeros...

...we don't breed athletes like Sparta,

we can just try to make the most of what we got.

How unpleasant.

That is the reason this boy needs to sacrifice some fun for the greater good.

Come in.

Get comfortable.

Ianthemes, Arethe, come quick, we are having visitors.

Onos will have to wait.

Onos? Is that the boy with the fish?

Yes, why? - We are searching for him.

Are you into boys? - I am training boys for Athens.

I am interested in his speed.

We are interested in his fish.

Are you into animals?

He is poor, he is paying by fish. But it still has to be alive when we get it.

That is the reason for his speed.

We would like him to train for the Olympics.

I am not sure he will be as fast for honour and glory as for lust and love.

I guess it is better you ask him yourself...

The head coach of Athens needs to talk to Onos.

We heard you are able to run very fast.

I don't want the fish to die.

Do you think you can run as fast without the fish?

Why?

Because it is about much more than fish. - Why not?

You are going to run for Athens. - What for?

For the Olympics. - What do I get out of it?

You don't have to pay taxes as a winner of the Olympics.

I don't pay taxes anyway.

You can make a fortune.

I don't have time, I need to go fishing with my dad.

It does not seem that there is a healthy mind in your healthy body.

It is dumb to compete against Sparta. It is impossible to win.

You, an Athens, could. - Or aren't you one of us?

Sure, why not?

You see?

Do you want to take care of him? - What does that mean?

Have him live by the book.

And love?

Strictly by the book.

If it is that important for you.

It is very important for Athens.

First the whole way to Delphi and then mountain climbing.

It is very important for Athens.

It is important for us too.

How important? - You can ask the oracle.

I already know what the oracle will say. One of them will win.

Don't talk that way.

We want to know if it makes sense at all to compete against the Spartans.

Do you think we can ask the oracle some personal questions too?

Don't dare to do anything like that.

You know we are just allowed one question.

And don't blurt everything out you are thinking.

Will T marry the son of a king?

Are you crazy?

Will I stay pretty until I am rich?

For god's sake, stop! This is not about us. It is about Olympia.

...0lympia is about to be destroyed. The games...

...will be forgotten for hundreds of years...

...until the leader will proclaim that...

...the contestant elevates his motherland...

...his race and his...

But what about us? What is happening to Sparta and Athens?

...the victors will sell their t-shirts and will be presented with houses...

No, I mean the Olympic games, what is going to happen to them?

...sport will be a business, the business of states...

...politicians will come and go...

...they will come, come and go, they will come...

...and the games will become more and more like a circus...

No, no! What about now? What about this year?

This year the circus will be erected,

but a big storm will shake its foundations...

Who is going to win?

people will run in terror...

No, but we need to know who will win this year?

Who will be the winner of the 45th Olympiad.

...and the Americans are going to win. The Americans and the Saxons...

How can I help you?

Athens is sending a runner to Olympia. How can we secure his success?

The answer is to inspire your friends and to love your enemies.

Inspire your friends must mean...

...that we have to keep Onos Olympic fire going.

But how shall we love our enemies? And for what reason?

Think a bit harder girls.

There is no hidden meaning.

It means love your enemies.

Clever girl.

Okay, but how do we get our hands on some Spartans,

and our thighs around them?

Easy, my mother was a famous potion mixer.

It seems we are going to conquer the Spartans.

Dear Volks, please donate for the Olympic games and the athletes.

Dear gods, let Onos stay here. Let him break his leg, or both of them.

Please donate for the Olympic games and the athletes.

I am just a little donkey, but riding works out fine...

...and once I am a horse, the price we all be mine.

No way, there is peace during Olympia.

Peace blows.

Without abstinence there is now way of winning.

I don't care about winning.

This means war.

Come on!

We are doing our best to make a winner out of you, and look at you...

I am massaging you every day.

You make me feel very nice, my dear Ianthemes.

And what about me? Nobody is playing a better flute.

Nobody dear Arete.

And don't I exercise you mind every single day?

Absolutely, you are pretty exhausting.

And you are lazy und unthankful.

If I had any chance of winning I would run 20 length every day you dumb cows.

Opposite way, dumb fisherman.

If you run 20 length a day you have a chance of winning.

Pour some in. - No. - Why not?

Because we don't give pocket money to lazy people.

What are you saying?

The well is dry until you manage to make him run.

Easier said than done.

He would run carrying two fishes...

...if love would be the goal.

Then let's make love the goal again. Easy as pie.

What about the Olympic peace?

I can't recall with...

...with conviction that the tradition...

...includes compulsory chastity.

The end justifies the means...

...which means a happy ending. Yes?

As long as it guarantees victory.

...all around the clock, we are searching for delight...

...all around we hear the call of nature...

I am about to die of thirst.

And hunger!

Yes, but business before pleasure.

Come, I am going to put the leash on you.

I can run without that,

Yeah right, you keep promising that.

I am going to ride.

She is going to let go as soon as you give up.

And if she does not?

Then you can't give up.

I consider this a test run. Just one length.

That is not enough for the horse.

Wrap it around the neck.

Enough!

Stop!

Stop it!

I can't do it anymore!

He wants to give up. - Yes, but he can't. He can't let go.

Stop it! Hold your horses! Enough!

Come on Onos!

Run!

He lost his consciousness. - Don't worry, the water is going to help.

You snakes! You miserable daughters of Gorgo!

Murderers! You want to kill me!

Dunk him once more. - We just want to make you tough.

I almost died.

Isn't it sweet and honourable to die for your fatherland.

I am not a Spartan!

The contest is a preparation for war

so it is honourable to die during preparations.

I don't want to die for victory.

You are not even close to victory yet.

Exactly.

I never thought he could be that fast.

I thought he would be slower than a donkey.

Come on!

He is not as swift as an arrow yet.

And not as tough as leather.

And he is never hard as a stone.

And he could not care less for the honour and glory of Athens.

Honour and glory are for Spartans.

Every free citizen of Athens would exchange either for a net full of fishes.

As you are getting payed by Athens

there is no way out for you but paying your debts.

And fishes won't do this time.

If I am really as fast as you believe, I could easily run away.

I would not recommend that.

Considering the size of your brain, one leg should be enough for you.

My master and his entourage...

...arrived at your house to find it empty.

He is angry and threatens...

...to find a better place in Athens.

He won't find a better house in the whole of Greece.

Leave Onos some fruit but pour the wine away.

It is a pity to waste wine like this.

Have this and tell them we are on our way.

What are you waiting for. Beat it!

What about me? Am I supposed to take matters into my own hands,

in another fight against Aphrodite?

We cannot be sure that you will win.

We still have to take care of our regular customers.

Do you have any idea what it is going to happen if you embarrass us and Athens?

What?

They are going to take your manhood from you and throw it into the sea.

Maybe you are divine, than your semen will give birth to a new love goddess.

But as you are just a poor fisherman,

your manhood will be devoured by the fishes.

Nobody has seen us.

I can't really describe how I feel. I am having strange dreams.

That means we have to train even harder. It will distract us.

Shall we?

Just say go.

Let us count together. One, two, three...

It does not work, I am counting to fast.

I am going to throw a stone.

Let's start running as soon as it hits the ground.

Three.

I think your hips are more relaxed than mine.

Mine feel rather stiff.

Listen to me Glaukias. Don't get me wrong.

But your stiffness around the hips might be connected to the Olympic peace.

Even if it would be that way Nanno, the Olympic peace is sacred.

Despite my dreams.

But it slows you down.

Because you have stiff hips.

But what about the wrath of the gods Nanno?

What is more important for you Glaukias, the Olympic peace, or Sparta's victory?

But how shall we win if we ignore the peace?

How will you win if you don't.

Let's just think about victory and nothing else, Glaukias.

For the honour and glory of Sparta...

For honour and glory.

It is much easier now.

Yes, Glaukias.

Maybe once more, just to be save.

Yes.

Hail Glaukias!

Alright Glaukias, you have won.

You have been faster than Nanno for the first time.

What is the most important thing in the life of a Spartan?

The law.

What is the holiest thing at the moment?

The Olympic peace.

And what is our sublime goal?

Victory!

Victory, and nothing but victory.

I think I know what made you faster Glaukias.

Therefor it is victory...

Lor...

...or death.

So be it.

He knows. - He does not want to know.

Greetings to you Theagenes.

Damophon, welcome to Corinth.

What is the reason for your visit?

The usual reason. The eternal intent to break Sparta's supremacy.

But we can't slow the Spartans down or make you faster,

It is important for me, that our man passes the qualification.

It is hard competing against two Spartans.

Do you have a good man?

We never had a better one.

But he does not like running. We have to force him.

We don't have any competition.

Yeah right. - Haven't you heard?

The Spartans decided not to compete in boxing or wrestling anymore.

That is impossible. - No.

They don't want to participate in competitions determined by surrender.

I understand. Spartans never surrender.

So your people don't even have to fight.

Yes, naturally. But they still have to pass the qualification.

Everything is allowed,

Biting, strangling, the dislocation of body parts, squishing eyeballs...

The tearing off of testicles is forbidden though...

Those who surrender get expelled from the squad on the spot.

Those that remain go to Olympia.

Do you have a lot of casualties?

Once in a while.

Who is the referee?

Don't you recognize him? He is last year's winner from Ephesus.

What is he doing here?

His parents did not recognize him when he came home looking like this.

And his fiancée left him shortly after, so he came her to work as a trainer.

How terrible when fists punch the jaw...

...and cold sweat drips down the limbs.

The left side of his jaw was crushed...

...his teeth made a sound.

Hitting harder and harder...

...he messed up his face...

...his cheeks all beaten up to a pulp.

Homer.

Sure,

You Athens spend too much time with poets and philosophers.

He will win, he won't, he will win, he won't... he has got to win!

Nekeros delivering the goods...

I do the work and you are cashing in on me.

Yes, but we want the best for Athens,

and you are just thinking about yourself,

Only ordinary people talk about money

when it is about such a noble cause as Olympia.

What happens if I lose?

Taking part is what counts.

But victory counts more.

Onos, Onos, Onos...

Free citizens of Athens...

Remember. Being victorious means something...

...but taking part is everything.

My son, this is not going to end well.

The gods won't allow you to win, they can't.

I wish the gods would make you shut up.

I will do my best.

If I really have to.

What needs to be done, needs to be done.

I got you three men for your protection.

We don't want you to get lost.

They carry daggers. - Daggers...

What are you saying? Are you referring to my manhood?

Exactly. Now go.

Prepare your heart for victory and let the fear spur on your legs.

...be victorious...

...be victorious...

Spartans!

Tonight...

...on the eve of Olympia...

...we say farewell to our sporty heroes...

..and I am proud to say...

...that all peace loving Spartans...

...common people and aristocrats alike...

...forge a united national front against the revanchism of Athens.

Through constant training over the last four years...

...we managed to reach our Olympic goals.

Hail Agon.

Hail the glorious competition and the manly games.

Hail!

Hail to our victorious Sparta, full of honour and glory.

Hail!

Hail to Sparta's strict laws protecting us from any sort of joy.

Hail!

Misery to all our victims and everyone that is not like us.

Hail!

Misery!

Misery to all Athens with high expectations.

Misery!

Hail to Agon. Whatever the obstacles, we shall overpower them.

Misery!

Hail!

Get of the horse Nekeros, my legs are tired.

But I have blisters. And the donkey does not like you.

Ouch! The beast just stepped on my legs. - I told you it does not like you.

I think the gods are not with you Daumos.

Hey, stop your shenanigans, you are driving the donkey crazy.

Don't you have something better to do?

Maybe you should try some of our peaches.

It is a long way till Olympia.

Have you heard something about Spartans, our beloved enemies?

They are on their way.

They will set camp here as soon as the sun goes down. What about you?

...Fight for Sparta's honour and glory till your last breath...

Be careful.

There is a corps of Spartan virgins right behind them.

And they are as strong as men.

Don't let them see you.

Do we look like enemies to them? - Sure. You don't look very sporty.

You have no clue how much we exercised recently.

I thoroughly despise your intentions but hope for Athens that you are successful.

From now on everything is in the hands of the gods.

Or in the donkeys. Either he is up for it or not.

I am so thirsty.

It seems like the spring has dried up.

Must have happened recently, the floor still feels wet.

Look at this.

Selene.

The goddess of the moon.

That is a good omen.

The gods are with us.

Water.

She is gone...

Why do I feel so exhausted?

I have to admit that I dreamed...

Yes, me too, I did... I did dream the same way.

Oh god...

They should not see us.

...fight for Sparta's honour and glory...

...until you reach the last bay wreath...

So our people and our party hacks...

...can mirror themselves in your glory.

Be prepared and march for the glory...

...of Sparta towards Olympia.

Tough as leather, swift as arrows...

...be prepared, all the time.

Be as hard as a stone.

How about we walk during the night and rest during the days?

So we can avoid these dreams.

Great idea, let's do it like this.

I am not sure if we have enough poison if they don't drink at the same time.

We have to try it, we can't dry out another spring.

They are going to be particularly thirsty today.

I am almost worried that they won't even manage to get here.

I might have been a bit much yesterday night.

Careful,

They are already here.

...be victorious...

Arete. Phyllilia. Ianthemes.

I love all of you. Let me love you. Love me.

My hips are so stiff, it is unbearable.

I refuse to go any further if you don't answer my pleas.

Come on.

Have a sip of wine first and have an apple.

What did you eat up till now Onos? - Whatever I could find.

How are your muscles? - Besides one they are fine.

Have you been sacrificing to the gods? - No, I ate everything myself.

There was not enough for all of us.

Do you hear that?

What?

Don't you hear?

No.

Wasps!

No! Hornets!

Love your enemies and inspire your friends.

What's wrong with you?

The Hornets...

I don't see any hornets...

They are gone.

I outran them.

If that is the truth, you must be very fast.

Are you a runner?

I am definitely not a boxer. Look at my face.

Who are you and where do you come from?

I am Onos from Athens.

I heard about you.

Welcome to Olympia, my name is Theagenes.

I am a referee from Corinth. Follow me.

Have you been traveling safely? - Besides some snakes, yes.

- I believe you said hornets?

Glaukias...

Dead god, I thought it might be the Spartans.

I just wanted to warn you. The Spartans are scared up.

Their contestants just appeared and they look horrible.

It makes me wonder how you manage to look so good.

I hope you did not take it too far.

We just followed the advise of the oracle, nothing more.

If they find something out they will drown you in the lake.

Did you at least dress up?

In our birthday suits.

What did she look like? - Beautiful and naked.

The goddess of the moon?

The spring was dry, so she gave us water.

I do remember that the water tasted strangely stale.

It tasted a bit strange.

But...

...you still had to drink it.

Yes, we thought the gods were with us.

Has she...

...been warm or cold?

Why?

Because goddesses are cold.

We could not even touch them.

After we drank, we looked around and she was gone...

...then I started to have strange dreams.

Dreams?

Which dreams?

Dreams about Nymphs and Satyrs...

...that tore me apart and drank my blood.

Clearly it was not Selena the goddess of the moon

but a Nymph that you encountered.

Nymphs can be very dangerous for us mere mortals.

Remember Hylas, who was abducted by nymphs

while drinking water in the moonlight.

I am not sure that it was a nymph.

You should have touched them.

If it were gods it probably was the punishment...

...for breaking the Olympic peace, Glaukias.

But Polyneikos and Lames feel the same.

What are you going to do?

The best a mere mortal can do.

Herbs and Qils to cleanse the guts.

Mud baths.

Massages.

Meat for food so they can gain their strength again.

Why had you drink their water?

We almost died of thirst.

The spring has dried out. Although the floor still seemed moist.

Minor gods I am sure.

Doubtless we should sacrifice to the major gods.

Some goats probably. Maybe some slaves would be good.

But we can't do that I guess...

...as it is not allowed during the Olympic peace.

You...

It is my fault...

I could kill you.

Do it!

That won't help our contestants.

But maybe...

Maybe the gods will appreciate my sacrifice and make a miracle happen.

The only miracle helping us now would be

if the gods would transform you into a boy.

My body is almost the one of a boy. - But you aren't one.

I could be one.

Maybe the priestess can help me. They have rather real looking phalli.

She is built like a boy...

...and the priestess could help her... ..change her...

But the gods...

Are they with us?

Stay!

We need a sign.

Noble Zeus. Nymphs and Satyrs have played a dirty trick on us.

Would you allow us to bend the Olympic rules? Just this once?

Will you let this virgin be a contestant? For the glory of Sparta?

To honour you?

I am begging you.

Give me a sign.

Shit.

Don't you curse. It means luck for us and Sparta.

In the name of Zeus, don't wipe it off.

I think a bird has...

I know, I know. I can't wipe it of, it is a sign of the gods. Listen to me.

Did you talk about the qualifications with him?

Some bird has shat on his head. We can't talk to him now.

They are probably scheming right now...

I need to say something. - That a bird has shat on your head?

It is a pity for the tournament that only five runners dare to compete with us.

Looking at our opponents, we do understand it though.

As we don't want to compete with ourselves,

we will send two of our runners home.

We propose to skip the qualifications and have all six contestants run together.

We expect your answers.

No qualifications... Onos is in. - We are against the Spartans proposal.

Of cause.

Sure,

But you have to vote for it so your relationship with Sparta doesn't suffer.

So?

Against it. - This means it is accepted.

Undress.

Nanno is going to replace you tomorrow, Glaukias.

May the gods help us.

What a shame.

It is not your fault Glaukias. The other two have the same problems.

Listen Glaukias.

We Spartans learn to fight for glory and honour.

But now there is something else to fight for.

If I run instead of you, Glaukias, I don't just do it for glory and honour...

What are you running for then?

For you.

For me?

You shall return victorious.

Or die...

Please don't say that. I want to live with you. Do you want that too?

Yes I want that Nanno. We are a perfect match.

We are trained to fight as well as to procreate and to give birth.

Don't put it like that Glaukias.

I don't think you need to be trained to feel.

Feelings?

Yes...

Thinking about you warms my heart.

My name is Glaukias, son of Erasthostenes

and Hekupa from Sparta. I am 20 years old.

I am Onos, son of Eusias and Alkmene from Sparta. I am 19 years old.

Are you a free man?

I would not be here otherwise.

Did you ever kill somebody?

I would not be here otherwise.

Who trained you?

I ran from Athens to Sparta, took a look at you and ran back double the speed.

You are joking. Your answers are not worthy of a contestant.

We are against you.

I know.

We test our contestants the same way you do yours.

So don't ask questions that we would not ask either.

He is Greek and a free man, that is enough.

Let's vote. Who is for him?

Accepted.

Onos! - You look different.

We have to blend in.

I wanted to say goodbye, and tell you

that it was a pleasure for us to help you.

What do you want to say goodbye for?

We probably won't see each other again. - But why?

If you don't win...

Then I am going to pay with fishes again.

I don't think so.

Onos, my son, a miracle has happened. I think the gods are with you.

I carried this fish the whole way from Athens.

It was carried under the heat of the sun and still it does not smell or rot.

It is completely fresh.

Seems there is a chance we meet again.

Yes, I am going to sacrifice it before the tournament starts.

Listen up, my son is running for Athens today.

You have a son? You don't look like it.

Don't be jealous old geezer. I have it in me.

Stop bragging man. God knows who helped you.

I can see you are a joke as you let your son compete against Sparta.

Good god. - What is the matter?

The bracelet!

What is wrong with you?

My firstborn has been wearing this bracelet!

Tell me where do you have this bracelet from? Maybe...

I found it in a net. I am a fisherman.

You found the bracelet by itself. Without a boy?

I am fishing for fishes, not for children.

Or did you throw your firstborn into the ocean?

It is not my fault that my child was taken from me.

Please give me the bracelet.

There is no way that you can prove it is yours.

How old is your son. - He is 22.

Well, mine would be 19 now. My poor boy.

The time is now. The fanfares indicate the start of the games.

The visitors leave their tents and stop to scratch their mosquito bites.

The contestants oil their bodies. Just the gods wait in silence.

Even if they know already who will be the victor.

Is it your sons turn? - Yes, I told you so.

Beat it, I want to get rid of the fish.

I am going to take a close look at your son. Maybe you lied about his age.

Stop. - Iam leaving.

Dear gods...

I am guilty. I have pretended that Onos is my son. That he is from Athens.

But you know the truth.

I was without child, which is an evil fate for a fisherman.

I often used to fish next to the mountains and had to watch...

...how the Spartans throw their weak children into the sea.

One day I plucked up the courage to save one

that did not seem that weak to me.

I pulled a girl out of the water, but that did not help much...

...50 I handed it back to the fishes.

But the next one was a boy. He cried as I pulled him out of the water.

I took him home with me to raise him as my own and called him Onos.

Dear gods, shouldn't you be angrier with the Spartans for their sacrilege...

...than with someone saving a child and raising it as his own?

Please let Onos win.

My son. - Listen!

I gave it some thought. I offer you to share the fatherhood...

...but you have to come with us to Athens after the Olympiad.

What shall I do in Athens, I am a Spartan.

You are our enemies, you are lawless. - But we have fun!

A Spartan cannot abandon his country. - You can. You are retired,

They will let you go. You can live at our place. If Onos is winning.

Onos, is that my sons name?

Our sons name. - Sure, ours.

The fanfares are blasting, the coaches raise their arms, and the games begin.

The start was successful, the contestants are running...

...they are gazing upon each other, it is exciting...

...the Spartan is getting faster but the Athens is right behind him...

...Is this possible? It wouldn't be, if the contestants would wear proper clothes...

...the audience is getting crazy. Fingers are pointing at the event.

The runner from Athens is obviously excited.

He is close now, very close.

A bit faster and he will reach the Spartan.

Let's look at it in slow motion, ladies and gentleman.

It is an impossible spectacle that the draughtsman has to capture.

It is a very close call.

I have to say that certain parts of Onos reached the goal earlier.

But we have to consider the whole body not just parts of it.

Arms and legs don't count.

Nobody ever mentioned the phallus.

But if somebody would put his tongue out

he would not be the winner either.

If our contestant would have had an erection too it would be obvious.

If the contestants would wear clothes it would be easier.

The chest counts. It has always counted.

Who votes against the Spartan?

Three against it, seven for it.

He wiped the bird shit off.

I declare Glaukias of Sparta the winner.

I lost it...

I hereby declare Onos of Athens the winner.

Onos! Onos..

Let me box at least.

Boxing is decided by surrender. Spartans don't surrender.

I won't surrender.

You will fight until you draw your last breath?

A true Spartan.

He might manage. His upper body is not as weakened as his lower area.

This is the end.

Let the victor rest.

Soon he is yours.

We agreed on three verses for every one of us, not more.

Listen to me people from Athens. Celebrations start in the evening.

Play faster!

Glaukias!

Do you hear me Glaukias? Let's run away.

Are you still able to walk?

Do you hear me, Glaukias?

Let's not go back to Sparta. I don't want us to die.

This inhumane coach is the one supposed to die. He is the one...

Let's go to Corinth or to an island.

Let's forget Sparta, listen to me Glaukias.

Fuck Sparta...

...this huge barrack.

Fuck it...

...they did not do what they were told every single day.

They did not resist, though we never stopped to warn them.

They failed!

But they are the fruits of our education,

which makes us failures too.

We resign, but let me tell you:

Stay away from foreigners. Avoid everything that breaks the laws...

...and beware of falling in love!

Beware of love.

Learn to hate instead.

Just hate carries the sting of success.

Hate!

Fight each other!

Grow through the everlasting fight!

For the honour and glory of Sparta!

There is no higher goal!

Our defeat shall spark the flame of your anger!

The flame of anger, burning our shame...

A Spartan. - An Athens.

A Greek.

Athens was looking forward to a day like this for a long time.

There hasn't been a day as beautiful, as wonderful as today.

He passed the goal carrying his proud manhood.

He will carry it further and even deeper.

It advanced from his hips and it was rather close...

But never was a victory that glorious. As glorious as his.

He is a prodigy of the gods now.

Allowed to pollinate the most delicate of flowers,

He is allowed to be a drain on our pockets, he does not need to pay taxes.

That is what it's all about.

His artful statue, hard as stone, will grace the times...

...and bring joy to girlish hands.

That's enough Onos.

Get off the pedestal and come here.

We did it!

...be victorious...

the end