Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,961 --> 00:00:03,731
So, anyway, of course,
now the guy's on top of me
2
00:00:03,755 --> 00:00:05,048
going at it, you know.
3
00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:08,092
T-shirt's still on
'cause his breasts
4
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,136
are bigger than mine.
5
00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,138
And I told him... What?
6
00:00:12,222 --> 00:00:13,598
I was jealous.
7
00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:17,435
So anyway, the dummy
starts asking me questions.
8
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:18,811
"Are you close?
9
00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:20,146
Are you close?"
10
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,397
I'm like, "Yeah.
11
00:00:21,898 --> 00:00:23,024
Yeah. I'm close.
12
00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:24,442
I'm close."
13
00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,945
I'm close to getting
a buzzcut, a flannel shirt,
14
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,989
and finally accepting
Melissa Etheridge's dinner invite!
15
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,285
And I'm Deborah Vance.
16
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,747
Goodnight, Las Vegas!
17
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,280
- Great show.
- Thank you.
18
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:48,216
Love these
new heels.
19
00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:49,985
Yeah, let's use them
this Friday night,
20
00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,487
let's put a little tread
on the bottom.
21
00:00:51,511 --> 00:00:52,637
- Copy.
- I almost slipped.
22
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:56,534
I knew these earrings
were gonna be too heavy.
23
00:00:56,558 --> 00:00:58,017
- Ahh.
- I was right.
24
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,000
- Towel?
- No thanks, sweetie.
25
00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:06,609
So, Bill,
how'd they do?
26
00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:09,070
Couldn't cover the fuckin' spread.
I'm out two grand.
27
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:10,947
Hoo-hoo.
Good luck with Beverly.
28
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,991
You sleep on the couch
more than my dogs do.
29
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:19,414
- Hey, Deb.
- Lookin' good, ladies.
30
00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:22,542
- They want us wheels up in 25.
- I'll be quick.
31
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:23,727
And after
the taping tomorrow,
32
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,420
I got QVC to give us
a studio space
33
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:26,689
to shoot
the Christmas album cover.
34
00:01:26,713 --> 00:01:27,797
Ooh, love it.
35
00:01:28,006 --> 00:01:29,924
Also, Damien has
some historic news.
36
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,342
- eBay is my bitch.
- No.
37
00:01:31,426 --> 00:01:32,594
The verdure tapestry
is yours.
38
00:01:32,677 --> 00:01:34,679
Oh, yes! That's
what I like to hear.
39
00:01:36,431 --> 00:01:37,951
- Great show, Deb.
- Thanks, baby.
40
00:01:38,558 --> 00:01:40,018
- Car's out front.
- Okay.
41
00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:41,686
Let's party.
42
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:45,732
Aw, did you like the show?
I'm so sorry.
43
00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,400
We're running late
to the airport.
44
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,044
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you so much.
45
00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:50,361
Oh, love you guys.
46
00:01:50,445 --> 00:01:51,487
Love you guys.
Mwah.
47
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:54,824
Yes
48
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,243
This is the third room
49
00:01:58,494 --> 00:01:59,704
Yes
50
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:01,623
This is the third room
51
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:03,333
Look at the veining.
52
00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:05,543
Wow, this rose marble.
53
00:02:05,627 --> 00:02:07,547
Look at the detail
in that crystal work.
54
00:02:07,587 --> 00:02:09,005
It's like
a million little winks.
55
00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:10,882
I've never found
glass handles like this
56
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,092
on any bath caddy
that I have ever used.
57
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:15,011
- Very intentional.
- Oh, I am hearing that
58
00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:16,429
we have sold out
once again.
59
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:17,889
Oh, my goodness!
60
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,308
We are a team.
That's incredible.
61
00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:22,352
Someone's been a bad boy.
62
00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:24,437
- Have you been a bad boy?
- Ho, ho, ho.
63
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,147
He called me a ho.
64
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,940
Have you been
naughty or nice?
65
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:31,402
Yes
66
00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:33,488
This is the third room
67
00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:35,657
Yes
68
00:02:36,074 --> 00:02:38,117
This is the third room
69
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:40,203
Yes
70
00:02:42,288 --> 00:02:43,373
Goodnight, Ronnie.
71
00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:03,059
Dinner's ready!
72
00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:07,021
There you are, my darlings.
73
00:03:07,105 --> 00:03:08,106
There you go.
74
00:03:37,677 --> 00:03:38,877
You know
how I'm redoing
75
00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:40,572
- the casino's east tower?
- Oh, yeah.
76
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:43,641
So, the contractor
double orders everything.
77
00:03:43,725 --> 00:03:45,494
- Ooh.
- And what the hell am I supposed to do
78
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:46,936
with two tons of fertilizer?
79
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:48,604
Dump it on
Steve Wynn's doorstep.
80
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:51,691
Ha!
Bingo.
81
00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:52,817
Come on.
You set me up.
82
00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:56,904
Deb, 2,500 shows.
83
00:03:57,697 --> 00:04:01,367
- Now, I think it's a Vegas record.
- It is.
84
00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:03,619
- Well, then cheers.
- Cheers.
85
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:06,205
And they're naming
a street after you.
86
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,458
I know.
Deborah Vance Drive.
87
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:11,252
It'll probably be a dead end
with an abortion clinic on it.
88
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:18,801
Now that the big show's
all planned,
89
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,430
maybe it's a good time
to talk about the future.
90
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:26,350
You know you'll always
be a part
91
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,727
of the Palmetto's history.
92
00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:29,479
But maybe,
93
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,273
it'd be good if you did
a few less shows a year.
94
00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:34,233
Good for who?
95
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,697
Yeah. I need some marquee dates
for new acts,
96
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:42,700
like Pentatonix.
97
00:04:42,784 --> 00:04:43,785
What the hell is that?
98
00:04:44,202 --> 00:04:46,370
They're a beatbox-forward
acappella group.
99
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:47,914
They do medleys.
100
00:04:48,581 --> 00:04:49,582
They...
101
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,209
won The Sing-Off.
102
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,335
Who gives a shit?
103
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,879
Look, I have
two buckets to fill,
104
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,547
families and idiots
in their 20s.
105
00:04:56,631 --> 00:04:57,924
The families want to see
singing
106
00:04:58,007 --> 00:05:00,301
and dancing,and the college kids
want to spend
107
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:03,179
a grand to watch a guy
in a helmet hit play on an iPod.
108
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:04,972
You're forgetting
about your third bucket,
109
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:06,808
people from Florida.
110
00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,142
They love me,
111
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:09,936
and my numbers are strong.
112
00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:12,730
You'll still be doing shows,
just not Friday and Saturday.
113
00:05:12,814 --> 00:05:14,732
Oh, just
the most important nights.
114
00:05:14,816 --> 00:05:16,567
Un-fucking-believable.
115
00:05:16,651 --> 00:05:17,693
Deb,
116
00:05:17,777 --> 00:05:20,446
why do you even want to do
a hundred plus shows a year?
117
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:21,948
It's not like
you're having fun.
118
00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:24,325
I mean, you're
on cruise control up there.
119
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,576
- I fucking wish!
- All right.
120
00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:26,911
I wish
I was on cruise control.
121
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,080
I've been playing defense
my entire career
122
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,790
thanks to assholes like you!
123
00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:34,502
- Deborah, calm down, please.
- Oh, what do you care? You own the place,
124
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,753
The service sucks.
125
00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:37,964
- Great.
- Where's my fucking doggy bag?
126
00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,175
Okay, all right.
127
00:05:41,259 --> 00:05:43,302
- I'll take his too.
- Okay.
128
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,637
And the fork!
129
00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:49,100
There was a cockroach
in my salad!
130
00:05:50,685 --> 00:05:51,686
Shit.
131
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:54,397
Comp everybody.
132
00:05:54,856 --> 00:05:55,898
Okay.
133
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,634
I guess I should just
jump out the window.
134
00:06:05,658 --> 00:06:07,258
Well, you'd probably just
break your legs
135
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:08,995
because there's that
12th floor terrace,
136
00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:11,247
but if you're seriously
thinking of hurting yourself
137
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,415
I'm not.
138
00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:13,976
Plus, I've told you
how I would kill myself
139
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,751
- a million times.
- Yeah.
140
00:06:16,127 --> 00:06:17,461
I'd wear a suicide vest on...
141
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:18,730
- Watch What Happens Live.
- Very funny.
142
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,840
You can't get me a meeting
to write on anything?
143
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:23,384
I'm just done
because of one mistake?
144
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:25,404
Well, it was one mistake
and then a series of replies
145
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:26,679
where you doubled downed, Ava.
146
00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:28,556
I didn't do anything wrong.
147
00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:36,188
Here, you're dripping
on the leather.
148
00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:38,149
I just got those chairs.
It was a whole thing.
149
00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:40,359
I had to get approvals.
150
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,070
Look, you know I love your
151
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:44,864
strong female POV. Obsessed.
152
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:46,908
But maybe in the future,
153
00:06:46,991 --> 00:06:49,368
you don't need to say
exactly how you're feeling
154
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,596
about everything
at all times.
155
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:51,746
Oh, my God.
156
00:06:51,829 --> 00:06:53,372
I'm sorry if
I was unfiltered
157
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:54,832
and honest or whatever,
158
00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:57,585
but that's literally what
people like about my writing.
159
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,187
Now... now all of a sudden,
it's a problem?
160
00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,047
- I mean, where's the line?
- I don't know.
161
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:04,300
Okay? All I do know is you need to
lay low for a while.
162
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:06,677
Yeah, I can't lay low.
I need to work.
163
00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:08,179
You know I send money
to my parents,
164
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,639
and I just bought a house.
165
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:11,325
I thought it was
a townhouse.
166
00:07:11,349 --> 00:07:14,185
Yeah, well, it cost
as much as a house house.
167
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,687
I hate to say this, but maybe
you should consider selling it.
168
00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:18,731
I have.
I can't immediately relist it.
169
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,174
I'm gonna lose
a shit ton of money.
170
00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:22,360
My realtor accidentally
CC-ed me on an email
171
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,563
- where she said she got me a bad deal.
- Oof.
172
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:26,155
Email's tricky.
173
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:29,617
This is probably just residual
Catholic guilt bullshit, but I...
174
00:07:31,202 --> 00:07:33,597
I can't help feeling that this is
all punishment for getting fingered
175
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,122
at my Uncle Rocco's wake.
176
00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:38,417
Okay, great example of what
I'm talking about, Ava.
177
00:07:38,668 --> 00:07:40,548
I never need to know
where you've been fingered.
178
00:07:42,672 --> 00:07:43,982
You don't know where
a woman gets fingered?
179
00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:45,049
Ava.
180
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:48,552
Please, I'm really
trying here, okay?
181
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:49,679
I've called everybody.
182
00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:51,013
But,
183
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,391
I'm sorry.
Nobody seems interested
184
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:54,850
in helping you right now.
185
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,895
- Also don't vape in here. It's all glass.
- It's not...
186
00:07:57,979 --> 00:07:59,689
Just vape outside.
Wait one minute.
187
00:08:00,356 --> 00:08:02,066
This is so unfair.
188
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,693
Would a hug make
you feel better?
189
00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,671
I can't technically touch you
without someone else present.
190
00:08:05,695 --> 00:08:07,464
We had a meeting about it, but...
191
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:08,698
Hi, dude.
192
00:08:08,781 --> 00:08:11,659
- Hi.
- Um, you told me to, like, interrupt you
193
00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:12,844
when more important
clients call,
194
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,346
and Deborah Vance
is on the line and, like,
195
00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,871
she's not, like,
as important.
196
00:08:15,955 --> 00:08:17,933
- So, I'm just, like, kinda giving you a heads up.
- Okay.
197
00:08:17,957 --> 00:08:19,476
Kayla, can you set her up
somewhere comfortable, please?
198
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,293
Absolutely.
Follow me, chica.
199
00:08:21,377 --> 00:08:22,771
We're right in the middle
of something.
200
00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:24,296
Deborah, perfect timing.
201
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:25,881
How are you,
my favorite client?
202
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,050
Fucking Pentatonix?
203
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,719
Did you know
about this, Jimmy?
204
00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:32,263
Do I know the Pentatonix?
Ye... Yes, love 'em.
205
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,806
I voted for 'em
on The Sing-Off.
206
00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:35,218
Marty wants to cut my dates.
207
00:08:35,725 --> 00:08:37,101
He blindsided me at lunch,
that...
208
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:38,686
dickless snake.
209
00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:40,038
Oh, he says he needs to appeal
210
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,355
to a younger crowd.
211
00:08:41,439 --> 00:08:42,874
You gotta do something
about this, Jimmy.
212
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,442
Okay, I will call Morty.
213
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:45,985
Marty!
214
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,821
Marty, yes.
But, um, I have a pitch.
215
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:50,990
What if you hire a writer?
216
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:53,325
I actually represent
a very in-demand young woman.
217
00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:56,162
She wrote for a hit show, uh,
218
00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,705
nominated for an Emmy, almost,
219
00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,331
everybody is talking
about her.
220
00:08:59,415 --> 00:09:01,375
I write my own material.
I do not need a writer.
221
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:02,710
I need a manager.
222
00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:05,272
- Uh-huh.
- Your father would've handled this.
223
00:09:05,296 --> 00:09:06,736
He promised me
you'd take care of me.
224
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:09,258
Don't make your dead father
a liar, Jimmy.
225
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,859
So, that was Deborah Vance,
226
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,277
and I have incredible news.
227
00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:31,530
She is intrigued
228
00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:34,158
by the idea of you
writing jokes for her.
229
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,118
The QVC muumuu lady?
230
00:09:36,202 --> 00:09:37,286
They're caftans.
231
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,454
Didn't she, like,
232
00:09:38,788 --> 00:09:40,831
burn her husband's
house down?
233
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:43,709
Yes.
234
00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:45,211
Yeah, no fucking way.
235
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,606
She's a legend. She's one of
the biggest earners at this company,
236
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:49,215
and you just said
you need to work.
237
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:50,549
- I do, but come on.
- So...
238
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,802
I'm not gonna go write
knock-knock jokes
239
00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:55,096
about how men don't put
the toilet seat down.
240
00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:56,722
I'm not that desperate.
241
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,558
Respectfully,
as your manager,
242
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,894
right now,
you are that desperate.
243
00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:06,524
I know you think
you've called everyone,
244
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,027
but I actually have a lot
of friends who will help me,
245
00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:12,655
so, I guess I'll just
handle this on my own.
246
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:14,490
Ava, come on.
247
00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:18,869
- Girly, do you need validation?
- Yeah.
248
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,121
Oh, God.
249
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,498
Crap, girl.
That's gonna take me a minute.
250
00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,166
That's fine.
Don't worry about it.
251
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,669
Bill, can you get Kelly
to help me?
252
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:31,507
Now you gotta find
another place to stay
253
00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:35,261
Just the way
254
00:10:35,845 --> 00:10:41,183
The way you lie
is not okay
255
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:43,811
Damien!
256
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,106
I need you to go
to the computer store!
257
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,947
Darling, what you waiting
there for?
258
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:58,659
I got you alone
but I don't wanna go
259
00:10:58,742 --> 00:10:59,827
Oh, shit.
260
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:02,872
And, darling,
what you waiting there...
261
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:06,351
Yeah, he's an actor. He says
he's shooting some Richard Linklater movie,
262
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,520
but I guess we won't know
if that's true for, like, 20 years.
263
00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:10,546
Oh, my God.
Hey. Taylor.
264
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:11,839
Ava.
265
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:15,134
- Hey.
- How are you? It's been forever.
266
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,802
How's, uh,
267
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:18,721
the husband?
268
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,472
- Mark?
- Yeah.
269
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:21,807
He's my ex-husband now.
270
00:11:21,891 --> 00:11:24,643
Oh, fuck... him then.
271
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:25,936
His loss, obviously.
272
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:27,605
Thank you.
273
00:11:29,148 --> 00:11:30,983
- Hi.
- Okay.
274
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:33,235
Ava, this is my mom.
We're actually just
275
00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:36,197
having lunch before
she heads back to the airport.
276
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,240
Oh, my God.
Your mom?
277
00:11:38,324 --> 00:11:40,326
No, impossible.
278
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,995
Your sister.
Look at that skin.
279
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,915
Get this bitch on Raya!
Oh, my God.
280
00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:47,875
So, congrats on season two.
281
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,836
So cool.
Are... are you guys hiring?
282
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,671
Oh, not even thinking
about that yet.
283
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,691
Really? 'Cause I heard you're taking meetings...
284
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,151
...and I would love
to work with you.
285
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:58,510
I mean, you know, obviously,
286
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:02,139
I've been going through a lot,
and I could really use a job.
287
00:12:02,223 --> 00:12:03,265
Ma'am,
288
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,851
you're blocking the driveway
to Tommy Hilfiger.
289
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,562
Oh, no, that's...
that's not mine.
290
00:12:08,646 --> 00:12:10,898
I... I don't drive.
I don't have a car.
291
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,274
I saw you do it.
292
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:13,984
You're holding the keys.
293
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:18,256
Ava, why don't we
just talk next week, 'kay?
294
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,824
You know, I would love to,
but you haven't really responded
295
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:24,703
to any of my texts or emails,
so I would just love to talk right now.
296
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:26,580
Okay, fine.
297
00:12:27,498 --> 00:12:28,874
Ava, I can't hire you. Okay?
298
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:30,598
I'm sorry, but I have
to protect the show.
299
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,115
- I'm just gonna get that.
- No, I got it. I'm going.
300
00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:37,466
So, I make one stupid joke,
and everyone just turns on me?
301
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:38,968
This is so fucked up.
302
00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:41,053
I thought
we were friends.
303
00:12:41,387 --> 00:12:42,513
Did you?
304
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:45,849
Because you barely talked to me
until I got a show, so...
305
00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:48,352
I don't remember it that way.
306
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,104
Yeah, I'm sure you don't.
307
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,481
Listen, I know this seems like
308
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,359
the worst thing in the world,
but it's really not.
309
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:57,695
Hey!
310
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,990
Move your shitbox car, bitch,
or I'll fucking kill you!
311
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:04,785
I'm sorry.
312
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,247
You really do
have amazing skin.
313
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:18,989
Deborah?
314
00:13:20,426 --> 00:13:21,593
Yes?
315
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,137
I'm sorry to bother you.
Uh...
316
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,300
Your sister's on the phone.
317
00:13:25,097 --> 00:13:27,182
How the hell
did she get my number?
318
00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:29,935
No.
319
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,608
Beloved entertainer
and producer, Frank Vance,
320
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:40,279
died today at the age of 74
in his Monterey home.
321
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,573
Vance's career began in 1973
322
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:45,451
with the CBS sitcom
Who's Making Dinner?
323
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:48,871
which he starred in with his
then wife, Deborah Vance.
324
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:51,081
The couple made headlines
when they divorced
325
00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,875
after Deborah Vance
set fire...
326
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:56,920
I can't believe
they used that photo.
327
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,883
Do you wanna maybe
take tonight off?
328
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:05,721
Why would I do that?
329
00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:10,452
Ladies, have you ever noticed
330
00:14:10,476 --> 00:14:13,145
that men seem to feel entitled
331
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:15,105
to sex on their birthday?
332
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,524
No, thanks.
You know, a word of advice.
333
00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:19,651
Next time, marry a guy
born on leap day.
334
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:22,696
You know what I mean?
335
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,492
You know, a leap day,
336
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,035
leap year every four years.
337
00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:29,620
Yeah, never mind.
338
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,252
I'm falling
339
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:41,673
In and out of love
340
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:45,761
Thinking about you
every day
341
00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:48,931
It's you I'm dreaming of
342
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:54,186
You know I've flown
the world around
343
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,899
Searching from above
344
00:15:01,527 --> 00:15:02,528
- Hey.
- Hey.
345
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,113
Have a good night.
346
00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:07,866
Hey.
347
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:10,786
What?
348
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:15,249
Talk to you
when I'm down
349
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:17,209
Won't forget it
350
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:19,086
Wait, do you have a condom?
351
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,170
Um...
352
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:21,755
I think so.
353
00:15:21,839 --> 00:15:23,382
Tears ofjoy
354
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:27,386
You're stringing me along
355
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,470
Near and far
356
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,431
- You look so hot.
- I have one somewhere.
357
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,059
Shit.
358
00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:40,023
The sun won't shine
when you're away
359
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,483
Candles in the dark
360
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,318
Why would they put
the kitchen shit up here?
361
00:15:44,153 --> 00:15:46,238
Oh, shit.
Is that a Vitamix?
362
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,010
Hello?
363
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:09,761
Hey. I tried you
a few times last night.
364
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,264
Oh, sorry.
I was fucking my Postmate.
365
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,184
Okay, I'm going to choose
to ignore that.
366
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,519
So, Deborah wants to meet.
367
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:19,062
I know you don't think
she's cool,
368
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,023
but I really think
you should reconsider.
369
00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:23,525
- Hey, mama.
- You know, it's a job.
370
00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:25,444
Work begets work.
I know you really need
371
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,446
something right now,
so I don't know.
372
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,981
I think it could be worth it
if you just give it a try.
373
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:31,617
I'll do it.
374
00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:34,453
Really?
That's great.
375
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,330
Okay, um,
could you meet today?
376
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:37,831
All right, fine.
377
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,071
Do I have to go all the way
to Beverly Hills or something?
378
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:42,628
Um...
379
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,171
No.
380
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,215
Welcome to Las Vegas,
Nevada.
381
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:48,800
The current temperature
is 111 degrees.
382
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,179
Oh, babe
383
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,056
We're gonna love tonight
384
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,311
Oh, babe
385
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,979
We're gonna love tonight
386
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,047
- Jimmy.
- Hey, hey, Marcus.
387
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,155
How's my favorite CEO?
388
00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:11,823
- COO.
- COO.
389
00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:15,077
Yes. Chief Operating Officer.
You go off, king.
390
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:16,995
Um, listen.
391
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,205
I need a favor.
392
00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:19,540
How scared should I be?
393
00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:21,642
Look, I'm sending
a writer to Las Vegas,
394
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,293
but Deborah is unaware.
395
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:25,605
You know if she wants to keep her dates,
she's gotta do something.
396
00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:27,789
- Uh-huh.
- It could be good. It could be good.
397
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,341
It could be bad,
but it could be good.
398
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:30,968
La la la la la la
399
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,262
La la la la la la
400
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:35,389
La la la la la
401
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:39,268
La la la
402
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,853
La la la la la
403
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:45,190
La la la la la la la
404
00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:46,775
La la la la la
405
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,069
La la la
406
00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:52,447
Holy shit.
407
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,825
La la la la
408
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:55,951
We need a wealth tax.
409
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,291
Hi.
410
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,293
You can wait in here.
411
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,838
Would you like something
to drink while you wait?
412
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:11,300
We have coffee, tea, iced tea,
lemonade, Diet Coke,
413
00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:13,093
regular Coke,
Coke Zero, Tab...
414
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:14,571
Um, I'll just
I'll just take a water.
415
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,222
Okay. We have Pellegrino,
Perrier,
416
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:18,557
Acqua Panna, Voss...
417
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,017
I'll just take tap.
418
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:21,935
The Acqua Panna is the best.
419
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:24,062
Okay, I'll have that.
420
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:25,147
Okay.
421
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,686
Deborah, a girl is here
from Jimmy,
422
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:06,313
a redhead.
423
00:19:06,897 --> 00:19:09,024
- What?
- Okay, Jimmy did send that writer.
424
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:11,502
- That little shit.
- I know, but listen, we may be able
425
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,362
to use this
to stall Marty on the dates.
426
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:15,280
It's just for optics.
427
00:19:15,614 --> 00:19:17,449
Just sit down with her.
428
00:19:22,663 --> 00:19:25,040
Hi, I'm Ava.
It's so nice to meet...
429
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:26,291
Sit, sit.
430
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,602
You know, I've actually
never been to Vegas.
431
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,329
Do you ever get used
to this heat?
432
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,304
Yes.
433
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:45,018
- So, Jimmy tells me that you're a very talented...
- No, let go of it! Mom!
434
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,105
Mom, they're being insane.
They're not letting me leave.
435
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,399
Sorry, apparently,
she won't let Josefina see.
436
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:55,028
Oh, my God.
There's nothing in here.
437
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:57,239
Give.
438
00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:58,532
Fine.
439
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:00,742
You see the shit
I gotta put up with?
440
00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:01,910
Unbelievable.
441
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,248
They're antibiotics.
442
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,502
I've got a fuckin' UTI,
okay, everybody?
443
00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:12,671
I'm so sorry
I didn't feel like broadcasting
444
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,382
to the whole world,
but you got me.
445
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:18,176
You got me, detectives.
I need relief
446
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,178
from my horrific
urethra pain,
447
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,222
okay? Everybody happy now?
448
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:23,432
Not happy, no.
449
00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:26,727
Just glad to see you're getting
your fluids, sweetheart.
450
00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:42,409
You'll have to excuse her.
451
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:44,077
She has a UTI.
452
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:45,579
That's fine.
453
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:46,955
Oh, and her father just died.
454
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:48,457
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
455
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:49,833
Are... Are you okay?
456
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,585
Me?
Thrilled.
457
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,212
So, why are you here?
458
00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:56,173
Oh, um, well, obviously
459
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,716
it would be a huge honor
460
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:58,959
to work with someone like you
461
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:00,677
who's been working so...
462
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,889
successfully for so long.
463
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:06,266
I mean, you're...
a legend.
464
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,144
- Wow, a legend.
- Yeah.
465
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:10,395
So, you're a fan?
466
00:21:10,479 --> 00:21:13,732
I mean, of course.
Would I be here if I wasn't?
467
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,358
What's your favorite
joke of mine?
468
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,947
Man, you know...
469
00:21:21,573 --> 00:21:22,574
That's so hard.
470
00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:23,742
Well, it shouldn't be.
471
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:26,119
I've written over 30,000.
Just pick one.
472
00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:29,372
Uh, you know what?
473
00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:32,918
I would have to say
that your TV show
474
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:36,296
is my personal favorite thing
that you've ever done.
475
00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:38,590
You mean my sitcom
from 1973?
476
00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:40,592
You've seen it?
477
00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:41,718
Oh, yeah.
478
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:44,805
I mean I've... Yeah,
I've seen...
479
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,308
Um, clips.
480
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:49,768
Clips?
481
00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:52,062
Wonderful.
482
00:21:53,939 --> 00:21:55,482
Uh, yeah, well, um,
483
00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:57,943
you know, a lot of the actors
on the show
484
00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:01,780
that I most recently worked on
were standups
485
00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:04,157
You know, I'm gonna stop you
right there.
486
00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:06,493
I don't work with writers.
487
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:08,537
- You don't?
- No.
488
00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:10,664
Jimmy sent you
against my wishes.
489
00:22:11,706 --> 00:22:12,833
I'm gonna kill him.
490
00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:14,334
No, I'm gonna kill him.
491
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:17,879
Great, well, this sucks.
492
00:22:18,547 --> 00:22:20,048
Yeah, sucks.
493
00:22:21,174 --> 00:22:23,734
Well, but at least you didn't waste
too much time researching me.
494
00:22:24,594 --> 00:22:25,679
I'm sorry.
495
00:22:26,221 --> 00:22:27,848
Did I do something
to offend you?
496
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:31,476
Other than walk those chimney
sweep boots on my silk rug?
497
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:32,894
Um, no.
498
00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:36,147
Sorry, I...
499
00:22:36,565 --> 00:22:38,942
I didn't realize it was
a shoes-off situation.
500
00:22:39,276 --> 00:22:40,527
Well, it's shoe-dependent.
501
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:44,614
Thank you for your time.
502
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:52,080
Good luck with your career,
honey.
503
00:22:52,581 --> 00:22:53,582
Fucking bitch.
504
00:22:53,874 --> 00:22:54,916
Excuse me.
505
00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:56,626
Did you have
something else to say?
506
00:22:58,795 --> 00:22:59,921
Yeah.
507
00:23:00,005 --> 00:23:01,107
You've just been
pretty rude,
508
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:02,716
and I dropped everything
to come here.
509
00:23:03,049 --> 00:23:04,384
Oh, Christ.
510
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:08,054
Oh, you wanted a gold star
just for showing up.
511
00:23:08,138 --> 00:23:09,472
Kinda, yeah.
512
00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:10,557
Because you're right.
513
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,766
I'm not a fan of yours.
514
00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:13,184
You caught me.
515
00:23:13,268 --> 00:23:15,103
This is all just
a little fucking annoying
516
00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:16,372
because I flew
all the way here
517
00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:17,898
on Spirit fucking Airlines
518
00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:20,233
even though I didn't want
this job in the first place.
519
00:23:20,525 --> 00:23:22,152
I mean,
the last thing on Earth
520
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:24,654
I want to do
is move to the desert
521
00:23:24,738 --> 00:23:27,449
to write some lame jokes
for an old hack.
522
00:23:29,618 --> 00:23:30,702
I think you better leave.
523
00:23:30,785 --> 00:23:32,425
- Yeah.
- Can I show you to the door,
524
00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:34,223
or would you like
to go back up the chimney?
525
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:35,707
Oh, no.
I know my way out.
526
00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:36,791
By the way, so cool
527
00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,960
they let you move
into a Cheesecake Factory.
528
00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:40,364
Oh, is that where
you wait tables?
529
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:41,939
- That seems like a better fit.
- Oh, yeah.
530
00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:44,215
I agree, you classist monster.
531
00:23:44,299 --> 00:23:46,593
I'd rather sling
Bang Bang Chicken and Shrimp
532
00:23:46,676 --> 00:23:48,053
all day than work here.
I mean,
533
00:23:48,136 --> 00:23:51,056
fuck. What is this?
50 tassels on one couch?
534
00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:53,642
Even Liberace would think
it's a bit much.
535
00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:55,602
Oh, no, you're incorrect.
He actually loved it.
536
00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:57,938
He did poppers
on that couch in '85.
537
00:23:58,021 --> 00:23:59,314
Cool.
538
00:23:59,397 --> 00:24:03,068
I'm glad Liberace's butthole
was nice and loose in your house.
539
00:24:03,151 --> 00:24:04,361
Maybe you should've joined him
540
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:06,947
since yours
is obviously tight as fuck.
541
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:09,407
Oh, hey, before I leave,
542
00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:11,493
did you want
to inspect my bag?
543
00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:13,203
Maybe I should just
piss in a cup.
544
00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:14,496
You know what?
545
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,800
I'm gonna go ahead. I'm just gonna
leave a stool sample on your lawn.
546
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:24,422
Okay.
Why are you really here?
547
00:24:25,507 --> 00:24:27,467
If you're so "in demand,"
548
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,344
why are you meeting with me?
549
00:24:30,428 --> 00:24:32,514
Because I can't get
any other job, okay?
550
00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:34,099
I tweeted a joke
551
00:24:34,182 --> 00:24:36,267
about that closeted senator
who's sending his son
552
00:24:36,351 --> 00:24:38,770
to conversion therapy camp
or whatever,
553
00:24:38,853 --> 00:24:40,105
and everybody freaked out.
554
00:24:40,188 --> 00:24:42,565
And then some other asshole
dug up some stupid shit I said
555
00:24:42,649 --> 00:24:45,610
when I was, like, 20 years old,
and I lost my deal.
556
00:24:45,694 --> 00:24:48,780
And now no one will hire me,
including you apparently.
557
00:24:48,863 --> 00:24:51,324
So, yeah, my life
is pretty much ruined.
558
00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:53,243
Oh, your life is ruined?
559
00:24:53,326 --> 00:24:55,996
Please, it sounds like
a Tuesday for me.
560
00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:58,123
Besides, you're just a writer.
No one cares.
561
00:24:58,581 --> 00:24:59,624
Well, actually,
562
00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:01,793
people really do care.
563
00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:04,212
It's been a huge
fucking problem for me.
564
00:25:05,296 --> 00:25:06,339
Hmm.
565
00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:08,842
So, what was it?
566
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:13,179
This joke that supposedly
ruined your life.
567
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:14,973
I gotta hear it.
568
00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:21,980
Senator Rogers is upset
569
00:25:22,063 --> 00:25:23,898
because he found out
his kid is gay.
570
00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:25,984
Apparently, he heard it
from one of the guys
571
00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:28,194
he was sucking off
in the Senate cloak room.
572
00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,447
Yeah, I don't even
do jokes like that.
573
00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:32,216
I was just trying to call him
out for being a hypocrite
574
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,117
because he was caught
with a male escort.
575
00:25:34,909 --> 00:25:36,554
It didn't help that
it was a slow news day,
576
00:25:36,578 --> 00:25:39,581
but I... I guess
I crossed a line or whatever.
577
00:25:39,664 --> 00:25:42,250
Oh, honey, no.
There is no line.
578
00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:43,668
It's just not funny.
579
00:25:43,752 --> 00:25:45,336
I mean, you should
be blacklisted
580
00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:46,671
for how bad that joke is.
581
00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:48,399
Cool, thank you so much
for having me.
582
00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:49,507
I'm glad we did this.
583
00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:52,052
I am starting to see
why your husband left you
584
00:25:52,135 --> 00:25:53,303
for your own sister now.
585
00:25:53,887 --> 00:25:54,888
Bye-bye.
586
00:26:08,985 --> 00:26:10,320
Oh, my God.
587
00:26:11,071 --> 00:26:12,591
Holy shit.
588
00:26:13,782 --> 00:26:15,325
What is she doing?
589
00:26:22,791 --> 00:26:23,958
What the fuck?
590
00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:30,715
Oh, my God.
591
00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:33,760
Sending your son to the woods
with a bunch of other horny, gay teens.
592
00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:35,488
The only thing you're gonna
convert him to is from
593
00:26:35,512 --> 00:26:36,596
a top to a bottom.
594
00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:40,350
- Okay.
- Now, that's a better joke.
595
00:26:41,142 --> 00:26:43,269
Oh, my God. That's why
you almost just killed me?
596
00:26:43,353 --> 00:26:45,396
Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.
We keep it on the dad.
597
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,065
Uh, Senator Rogers
598
00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:48,733
has been
in the closet so long,
599
00:26:49,192 --> 00:26:51,444
his wife keeps trying
to donate him to Goodwill.
600
00:26:51,778 --> 00:26:53,988
Okay, to be clear,
these are all problematic, but...
601
00:26:55,156 --> 00:26:56,282
what if it's something like
602
00:26:56,491 --> 00:26:59,531
Senator Rogers has been in the closet
so long, all his friends are mothballs?
603
00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:00,745
Mothballs.
604
00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:03,540
Senator Rogers has been
in the closet so long,
605
00:27:03,623 --> 00:27:05,041
he shits mothballs.
606
00:27:06,209 --> 00:27:08,449
- Yeah, that's pretty good.
- Yeah, that's it. That's it.
607
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:11,339
Okay, um, can I go now?
608
00:27:11,422 --> 00:27:13,424
No. No, you're hired.
609
00:27:14,843 --> 00:27:15,927
Wait, what?
610
00:27:16,636 --> 00:27:18,012
I said I didn't want the job.
611
00:27:18,096 --> 00:27:19,264
Yeah, well, you need it.
612
00:27:19,681 --> 00:27:21,321
Write me 20 jokes
before tomorrow morning.
613
00:27:22,267 --> 00:27:25,520
Oh, and nothing about pantyhose
or the Challenger explosion.
614
00:27:25,603 --> 00:27:26,646
I've done 'em all.
615
00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:33,361
What the fuck just happened?
616
00:27:36,156 --> 00:27:37,657
Ow! Fire
617
00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:40,201
Fire
618
00:27:41,411 --> 00:27:42,412
Fire
619
00:27:43,163 --> 00:27:45,123
I'm on fire
620
00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:46,958
Fire
621
00:27:48,334 --> 00:27:49,502
Fire
622
00:27:50,587 --> 00:27:51,629
Fire
623
00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:54,090
Lord, you set me on fire
624
00:27:57,135 --> 00:27:59,304
Your touch
is all it takes, baby
625
00:27:59,387 --> 00:28:00,889
To start the fire in me
626
00:28:01,806 --> 00:28:03,892
You the one
that can turn me on
627
00:28:04,309 --> 00:28:05,602
Like a TV
628
00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:08,438
When you look at me, baby
629
00:28:08,521 --> 00:28:10,315
You know my lips
can't speak
630
00:28:10,773 --> 00:28:12,984
Like a cube of ice
on a red hot stove
631
00:28:13,067 --> 00:28:14,694
I melt
from your burning heat
632
00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:16,487
I'm on fire
633
00:28:17,906 --> 00:28:18,948
Fire
634
00:28:20,158 --> 00:28:21,284
Fire
635
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:23,620
Oh, I'm on fire
636
00:28:24,662 --> 00:28:25,663
Fire
637
00:28:26,998 --> 00:28:28,041
Fire
638
00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:30,460
Fire
639
00:28:30,543 --> 00:28:32,545
Lord, you set me on fire
640
00:28:36,049 --> 00:28:37,926
When you talk that sweet talk
641
00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:40,011
I burn like water on fire
642
00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:42,472
And when you kiss my lips, boy
643
00:28:42,555 --> 00:28:44,515
You burn like a red hot wire
644
00:28:45,183 --> 00:28:46,184
Fire
645
00:28:47,352 --> 00:28:48,353
Fire
646
00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:50,647
Fire
647
00:28:50,730 --> 00:28:52,357
Lord, I'm on fire
42834
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof