Original subtitles

So, Vale,

how are things coming with the prophecy?

Fine.

And did you manage to raise that old general from the dead?

I know you wanted to raise that general... from the dead--

Obviously not, dad.

Otherwise I'd be overthrowing the human scourge right now,

instead of wasting my time here.

Oh, sweetie, I'm sure you'll find another way to overthrow the scourge.

That's what I've been telling her!

And by the way, this soup is delicious, Mrs. Flaghagh.

Is this sage?

It's blood!

Okay, yeah, I do taste it now.

- It's like pennies - Yeah, fresh!

Okay! Let's do it--

Y'know, Larry, when Vale's mother and I were your age

we had a cult, too!

We sacrificed the dean at our college.

Took his skin!

Cool. That is so cool.

Vale's father was so bold in those days.

Yeah, he had a real fire in his eyes.

And...

And his skin! And his hair!

I come from a long line of hotheads, Larry!

"Hotheads," c'mon!

Let's see if I can still do it!

- Let's see if I can get the old-- - Oh!

Oh!

Oh, you can do it, sweety!

Wow!

There it is, okay!

Nice dad!

Great work, sir!

Thank you, Larry.

Give me a break, dad!

All your generation talks about

is a bunch of cutesy protests that changed nothing!

- Uh, we flayed the dean. - Mmhmm!

And what did that change? Nothing!

It changed the dean, I'll tell you that much!

Here we go!

Way to cut the tension.

And what are you doing, Vale?

Dabbling in prophecy,

just like you dabbled in sorcery

before quitting after learning, what?

One spell?

I can do lots of spells, actually, Feron!

And at least I'm not a sell-out who works at a bank for humans!

Oh, right!

You just have a human boyfriend!

He's not my boyfriend!

He's my minion.

I've explained this!

Oh, okay, so do you always invite your minions over for family dinner?!

Oh do you always know that I'm going to fucking kill you?!

- C'mere! - Woah nelly!

Oh, come on girls...

Press my thumb right into your armpit!

Sorry, Larry, you have to see that.

It's okay, no, I was prepared.

Vale, get off me!

Sitting on you, I'm sitting right on you!

Get off!

So...

You called me your... minion...

in there.

That's a big step.

Just drive the fucking van, Larry.

The prophecy foretold that tonight is the night.

And yet...

They've all abandoned me.

Gah, my sister was right!

I'm a failure, Larry.

Sure, let me tell you how you're a failure.

"F" is for

"Frikken cool Prophetess."

- Ugh! -"A" is for...

'Allo, I'm...

- from England. - And you're into a character, somehow.

You're always slipping into something like this--

Let me get to "I"!

"I" love you--

Hey! Don't touch me!

Larry. You don't get to do that.

That's not what you said last night.

That's exactly what I said last night.

I said "I touch you, and you don't touch me."

It's sex-doll rules, Larry. And by the way!

We're not an item.

I'm a demon, trying to end humanity and you are,

not sure you're aware of this,

- a human. - Well!

No relationship's perfect.

- C'mere. - What did I say?

Hassein!

Yep. Now you get baby hands.

Okay, don't ever disobey me again.

Yeah, okay, that's cool.

Look, do you want to huff some entrails and go on a vision jaunt?

It might make you feel better!

The guy who prepares the entrails for me quit, Larry.

I haven't been able to do a vision jaunt for weeks.

Well...

Let's just say old Larry here has picked up a thing or two recently.

Come here...

Hush-a-cow.

Okay.

And I'm just gonna take your

life!

Okay, yeah took the life...

And get in, okay! Open up the wounds!

Here we go! Entails, huh!

Yeah!

Wow!

Larry, I'm, I'm actually impressed!

Just sit back and huff!

Don't, don't talk. It's about you right now.

Oh! Oh, no, I don't like that.

Oh easy! Easy!

Okay, lemme sit you down.

Jeez!

What'd you see?

I know where the--

I know where the book is!

Friends,

one thousand years ago, the last great human-demon war came to an end,

and we’ve enjoyed a millennium of perfect peace ever since.

Said no one ever!

Fortunately we’ve had Chosen Ones keeping us safe,

Including our very own Gary!

Aw, look at that, buddy!

It's daddy!

And don't worry, Tucker, we didn't forget about you!

What's happening?

Helium failure.

Uh... can it be fixed?

No chance.

There's a saying in the balloon business,

"It's lost it's power, now it's useless."

Okay, let's just get rid of it.

Discreetly.

Okay, Larry, let's go.

Shirts! Shirts! Shirts!

Excuse me!

- Watch it! - Get your shirts!

Gah! Fucking humans everywhere.

Here we go.

Okay...

Which floor is it?

Oh, fuck! I hate this. I hate it.

Nyeh!

Triple B. Let's go.

What was the other thing you saw?

- When you said that you hated it? - Nothing!

No, nothing.

Sh... uh, shut up.

May I: help you.

Aw crap. Um-- yes. We’re um--

Oh, I got this. I got this.

Hey, we’re a couple of empty nesters from the coast,

and our kids are in college, we miss them so much,

but we finally get to scratch that travel itch!

So, when the mice are away, the cats!

Will play. You know what I mean?

No.

Ok so, in this situation what I’m describing, our kids are the mice--

Okay, enough of this crap! Hassain!

no.

Gargnel has become: baby sized.

Baby sized.

Help!

There it is!

You know that spell is so cool.

Is that the one your sister was referencing at dinner?

The one you know?

I know lots of spells, Larry. I just like using that one.

Yeah, for sure.

Now I'll try...

Amastio!

- Hm. - Mastio!

Hassain, hassain, hassain.

Cool!

Don't be condescending to me.

I would never.

You know, humans and demons have come a long way since then.

Like, I work with demons.

I've slept with demons.

But not in a fetishizing way, I hope.

And I'm a father to a demon, sort of!

Y'know? In a way.

Hey, Lil' Fleshler, show them your trick.

Yeah, show them your trick.

Ow! Oh my god, ow!

- Oh! - Isn't that fun!

He just learned that on his own!

Ow, ow, ow!

- Oh yeah, okay stop. - Ow!

- Stop, no, you gotta let him go. - Ow! Ow!

- You gotta release him. - Ow, ow!

- Lil' Fleshler, release him! - Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

He always releases after a bit!

Ow my god!

Okay can we get that guy outta here?

- Owwww...! - Now, who's got a question

for my man Tucker?

Uh, sure. I got one.

Tucker, what's the coolest thing about Gary?

- Ooh, good question! - Oh, uh...

I'll answer that!

The coolest thing about Gary

is how willing he is to sacrifice himself

for the greater good.

Heh, doesn't sound like me.

Hiya!

Oh, fuck! Gah!

Get it off! Get it off! Lil' Fleshler!

Ah!

Ha ha! Pickled!

It's just a jar, buddy! Use your powers to escape!

Ow, oh! Fucking come on, man!

Give yourself to Ryndok, Chosen One.

Fate commands you!

I, the Prophetess Vale,

Leader of the Demon Rebellion,

over 200 members at our peak,

FARON!

Command you!

Tucker, for god's sake help me, man!

Me? Uh, okay, um...

Sais, please don't let me down!

Amastio!

Yes!

See, Larry, I told you I knew other spells!

Lookin' good!

- He he? - God-

damnit! Hassein!

Ah!

Hassein!

Bleuh? Ha!

Ow!

Yes!

What's going on in here?

I got it, Ms. Vale.

Hoocha! Hoocha!

Hoochacha!

Your fingernails are so long!

- Chachacha! - Get your little hands off of me!

- Chacha Cha! - Ugh!

- Cha! Chachachacha! - Oh, jeeze!

- Hassain! - Oh!

Hassain! Hassain!

Hassain!

Ah! My shirt!

It's too tight!

Shoot her, Hanley!

Hassain!

Oh, ow!

This is chaos!

Peace!

Power!

Stop offering me stuff!

I'm not interested!

Come on!

Give yourself to Ryndok!

Stop wasting everyone's time!

No! Aaah!

- No! - Watch out, Lil' Fleshler!

Ooh, I'm so sick of this book!

No!

No!

Oh...

Larry...

Why?

Do you really have to ask?

Oh god...

Okay, just aim elsewhere if you're gonna fuckin' do that.

You should save some of this for your...

your parents.

They can make a blood casserole

for Christmas.

I hate that you think you're coming to Christmas.

Man, this is the most useless rebellion I've ever seen.

Your only minion is just...

a guy?!

Mock us all you want, Chosen One,

but the prophecy is clear.

By the end of this day, you will hit bottom.

And give yourself to Ryndok!

Sun's goin' down and the book is being incinerated as we speak, my dude.

I mean, Jesus Christ!

You picked the one month in the past thirty years that I've been happy!

You literally could not have picked a worse time for this.

The prophecy's clear--

Okay, take it easy, Larry.

It's over.

I mean, if you guys wanted a Chosen One in despair,

you should've gone with Tucker,

he's the one who's been...

Leslie, where's Tucker?

Power...!

Power!