Original subtitles

Well, we've talked to most of our informants,

but no one's seen Tucker at all.

I'm getting really worried, Les.

Break it down for me one more time.

There are bugs in Tucker's brain that want...?

"Kiwi Lumps." Yeah, it's a New Zealand candy.

They've actually got some pretty fun ads.

I'll just bring it up...

Doctor, I've got a lump...

A Kiwi Lump!

My diagnosis?

Good as.

"Good as" what?

I think that's just sort of how they talk down there.

- Get away from me. - Where is he, Gary?!

- Get off of me! - Where's Tucker, Gary?!

Okay, let, come....okay.

Argh!

Son of a, urgh!

Gary, I thought I told you to come in through the back!

Screw that, I'm not letting these freaks run my life, they're...

Sorry, who are they?

They're part of a fan group called "Tucker's Angels"

Normally, it's just loving discussion and fan-fic exchange,

but since Tucker's disappearance

They've started to express themselves...

"Express them-..." Could you be on their side any more?

Hanley, they're calling me a murderer!

Oh, look at this guy...

You don't know anything about me, buddy!

No, you're the bad man!

- You're the bad man! - Gary, don't antagonize them!

Fans are volatile these days,

and we don't need any more distractions.

Well, we oughta get back out there, Gar.

Tucker needs us now, more than ever.

Alright, just one second, Hanley.

Crank it, Mudge!

- Gary, what did I just say!? - God damnit, Gary!

- You are illegally gathering. - Get 'em, Gary!

Please disperse.

Gary kills me!

So, even though Kiwi Lumps aren't available in North America,

we thought we'd check all the local candy stores just to be sure.

Have you seen Tucker at all, Mr. Wowie?

Alas I've not, but so it goes. And now you've got a candy nose.

Eyy... this guy's a delight.

Right. Well, thank you for your time. Let's go, guys.

Not a problem. There's candy samples over there.

I've even got a candy chair!

Well, that's wild!

That’s - uh - that is for sure just a normal chair.

- No, what? - So...

Gimme that.

Oh, weird...

Everything in here's supposed to be candy.

Hence the rat problem.

- Just kidding! The rat's candy, too! - Oh...!

Nope, that is... that is a real rat.

What is going on today?

Man, looks like we're all outta leads.

Where are you tucker.

Oh yeah, you wanna dance? You wann dance?

Gary, are you even paying attention?

Hm? Oh, sorry Hanley. It’s just these Tucker’s Angels.

They’re coming at me online now.

Yo Mudge, what should I say to this guy?

- Oh, ask him if he has kids, - Uh-huh...

and if he does, tell him you're gonna kill his kids.

Uh, yeah, no. I feel like that might be just a bit

- farther than I wanna go. - No, wait, wait!

- Ask him if he has a wife - Uh-huh...

- and if he does, - Yep...

tell him you’re going to do her all night.

So good, so gentle...

But harder if it seems like that’s what-

- you know where things are going. - Ok, no.

Yeah, she's gonna love it, and He's gonna love it, you know?

Why's he gonna love it?

Cause he's been too busy at work to give her the love she needs.

And the way you're gonna do her, she's gonna be good for months.

We're way off track here.

- I don't wanna... - You dip into her, you dip into him...

"Dipping"?

So, now I'm having sex with both of them?

Yeah, line 'em up

so you can dip-dip next to each other

- Jesus Christ, Mudge! - Gary, stop enabling Mudge!

I'm not enabling him, Mudge is off the leash!

- You're laughing! - I can't put a leash on Mudge!

- OK, that's it, just gimme that. - Hanley, Hanley!

Just gimme the phone.

I need to respond to him, or he'll think he wond the argument.

Just gimme a second to respond to everyone...

Tucker needs us, and you're wasting time...

Oh, it's ringing! It's ringing!

I actually need to answer that, Hanley. Actually!

Actually, I should probably answer that, Hanley

So you should probably give me my phone, actually...

Fine!

Oh, hi Leslie...

Oh, that's so interesting!

Tucker was spotted at an abandoned house across town?

Well, that's great information I woudln't have recieved

if someone threw my phone away.

Okay, yeah, we'll be right there. Bye!

Feel stupid, Hanley? No need for an apology.

- Let's go. - What's the address?

Aw, crap, I forgot to ask for the address.

- I'll just call her back, and-- - Alright!

- Oh, motherfucker look at this guy now! - Oh...

Hello? Anybody there?

- I got a perfect one, Gary. - Tucker?

Say something like, uh...

"Ooh, you want some French onion dip?"

Ok, no, I'm gonna do this myself.

- Tucker? - I'm gonna do this myself.

Oh my gosh...

Hello Gary...

I see you got my call.

'Scuse me?

- Oof... - Oh...

Good! You're awake.

Would you like some water?

Ma'am, please.

The longer you keep us here, the more danger you're putting Tucker in.

The only danger to Tucker is here, in this chair.

And I am going to make sure

You never! Hurt him! Again!

Wait, so lemme get this straight...

You're a Tucker fan, and a witch?

You know he hunts witches, right?

Only the bad ones, and I'm good!

Well you kidnapped us...

I'm mostly good.

And you know what?

I think when Tucker finds out what I have done for him,

he is going to put a ring on this finger!

Small wedding, though.

Nothing too crazy, very intimate.

I'm thinking just like passed hors d'oeuvres,

making cocktails, and just like my familiars probably.

Right, yeah...

Yeah, no, I'm sure tucker would love that

Y'know getting married to a fuckin deranged crone in front of a bunch of cats

Sounds like a honeymoon in heaven to me--

Hey! We're not cats, dude.

We're familiars. She just said that!

You got somethin' clogging up your ears?

You need me to get you a q-tip?

- You want a friggen' q-tip, is that it? - Okay, yeah, yeah okay...

Easy, Whiskers!

Your name is "Whiskers"?

Oh what about it? You think it's a cat name?

Say it if you think it's a cat name!

I mean... it's a cat name.

- You motherfucker! - Hey! Hey!

- I'll fucking kill you! - Oh yeah, you want this? You want this?!

Oh!

- Oh! Look at the dot! - Oh...

- Oh, look at the dot! - Oh, the fuckin' red dot's back...

Yeah, you don't wanna be too much like a cat, I guess!

I'm smarter than you, you red dot!

Hey, where'd it go?!

Get 'im, Whiskers!

- Gary, come on, man! - Bunch of freaks!

Would ya shut up?! C'mon...

Don't tell me to shut up, don't take their side!

- I'm not taking anyone's side! - Fucking freaks!

- Just shut up, man! - Stop telling me to shut up, man!

Just shut up!

- You shut up! - No, you shut up!

Shut! Up!

Do you even realize that Tucker's life is at stake?

Do you even care?!

Obviously I--

- Shut! Up! - Okay...

I guess I don't get to respond to--

- Shut up! - Slander...

You're just jealous, okay?

That's why you're fighting with these fans!

Because they love Tucker,

And nobody! Loves! You!

I mean...

that's not why I'm arguing with those fans

I'm not jealous, I'm just petty

but otherwise I totally understand.

- I do get it! - Dude, shut the fuck up!

You're a psycho!

Y'know, you'd make a good Tuckernaut

We could use someone with your passion.

Oh, ah... well... hehe...

Sorry, "Tuckernaut"?

I thought you said you were a Tucker's Angel?

What?! No! Yucky!

Tucker's Angels? Ugh, they're such phonies!

We hate Tucker's Angels.

There are two, separate fan groups?

Look at what they post, god...

- Ugh, self-promotion. - Ugh!

- Self-promotion again?! - Do they even see themselves?

Ohmygod! They got a picture with Tucker!

- What?! - That's so unfair!

Wait, is that from today?

Oh my gosh, he's at the airport.

Whiskers, grab my cape!

We're going to meet my future husband!

Wait, wait, stop!

Come back! Untie us!

Oh, did your new best friend forget about you, Hanley?

Shut the fuck up, Gary.

Yeah, Gary dude, I love ya, but you got to shut the fuck up.

Wow, so I have to ask,

What's taking you to New Zealand?

- Lumps! - Oh, nice!

Well, we got a lot of Tucker's Angels down there.

So, when they see you, I'm sure they'll be stoked as!

Ugh, move!

Oh my gosh, there he is!

Oh my God, he looks so cool!

- Tucker! - Hey! This is for real fans only!

Tuckernauts don't qualify!

Oh, gimme a break!

You Tucker's Angels don't know the first thing about fandom.

You threw the worst convention of a

Hey! Tucker-Con was a hit!

Yeah, was it though?

Cuz, I actually took a picture of it...

And here it is!

I'd love to see. Maybe you got a pic of my cosplay...

I was the one dressed as Tucker...

Is it, um...

Is the convention somewhere behind this flaming dumpster, or...?

You're comparing the convention to a flaming dumpster!

How dare you?!

Huh!

- For Tucker! - Lumps!

- There he is! Tucker! - Bugs!

- 'Comin through, out of the way. - Let's go, let's go.

Let's go, c'mon, excuse me.

I'm with them! I'm with them!

You Tuckernauts don't know the first thing about Tucker!

What's his favorite activity?

Ugh! "Chilling with the boys"!

What does Tucker look for in a girlfriend?

A good personality!

Oh, lucky guess!

Out of the way, excuse me, pardon me.

Do you wanna know what "Tuckernaut" is short for?

"Tucker NOT gonna pay attention to ya, because your fan-base sucks!"

No, it's short for "Tucker's astronauts."

Because we orbit Tucker, and he's a Star!

Ah!

- Tucker! - Oh, shit!

- No, no, no, no, no! - Tucky!

Ugh...

Oh, hey Hanley...

What's going on?

- Ugh... - Ha ha...

Aw, you're looking so good, buddy.

You really had us worried there, for a sec.

Knock knock! How ya feelin', Tuck?

Oh, good, Gary. Bit tired.

Maybe I need a couple more years in that coma!

- Oh, come on now! - that's a good attitude!

All of us laughing...

Well, and look at all of this stuff from your fans!

Oh! Is that a vile of blood?

- Yeah. - Wicked!

- Very cool, yeah. - Really wicked, yeah.

Well, people sure do love you, Tucker.

But the way I see it,

you can have the fans so long as you take this frikken job back.

- You know what I mean? - Haha, well, don't worry, Gary.

The moment I get my powers back, I promise...

You're outta here!

Hey, no, that's what I like to hear! Finally, someone's...

Sorry, what do you mean "get your powers back"?

Okay, Gar. Let's just let him rest a little.

- Okay? - But what did that mean, exactly?

- Is something wrong? - Gary, c'mon.

Slow down for a second.

Tucker, what do you mean about the powers?

Tucker, do you not have your powers?! What--

- Gary-- - Oh, fuck this. Fuck this!

No, no, no! Tucker what's going on!?

Yeah, Gary let's go. Okay, okay. Get him around the waist.

Yeah, I'll get him...

No, I don't want to do this job anymore, Tucker!

Hey, Tucker. Big fan.

Uh, this is me, Mudge.

I'm the bug guy.

So, I wanna apologize and say adieu.

Cuz, I'm, uh... I'm going down Costa Rica way...

Yeah, I got a line on some other bugs, uh...

Anyway...

See ya.

Oh! I think I'm... I'm over here.

He he, so...