Original subtitles

Mummy, may I feed some legumes to the chimpanzee?

No. And don't talk like that.

Mummy!

We're not... British.

Everybody clear out! There's a d...

Oh, okay. I'm a bit late.

You okay, buddy?

Please, sir, apprehend the creature who wrenched my mummy

from the realm of mortality.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Boy, this is not the time to be making fun of you.

I'm gonna go get the thing.

Yep.

Okay.

If I were a demon, where would I be?

Perhaps in a bush, perhaps in a tree.

Nope.

Separate tree.

Good guess, I guess.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.

Okay, easy. Easy.

Man, what the hell are you?

Oh, my goodness, what's that? Look over there!

It's a de... It's a female demon.

Oh, she's so hot. Oh, what the hell?

She's point at you and she's mouthing the words

"gotta have it."

Okay, okay, okay. Hey, hey!

No, no, no, no, no.

You... you saved me.

Oh, God. You're hurt.

Medic! Medic!

Hey, buddy. You okay?

Oh, you're making me feel so many emotions.

Love and panic. Fear and pity.

I'm gonna call you Mr. Stripes.

The zoo said his name was Bertie, Gary.

Ugh. Hey, Bertie.

Hey, Mr. Stripes.

See?

He doesn't respond to either, so I can pick whatever I want,

Hanley.

Oh, he's perfect!

I promise I'll find a way to save you, Mr. Stripes.

Just like you saved me.

Well, that might be hard, Gar.

That demon that bit him was sick

and transferred some sort of virus.

It's gonna kill that tiger pretty quick,

and in the meantime,

he's gonna be contagious and mad dangerous.

How fast can you make an antidote?

There's no guarantee we could, man.

And I'm gonna be honest with you, we're backed up.

We're still working on Mrs. Cranbrook

with the demon spider eggs in her belly.

Thank you so much for saving me...

Listen, Marito, Mrs. Cranbrook is gonna die.

You know it. I know it.

Even Mrs. Cranbrook knows it.

Just make the antidote.

You're my hero.

Okay, some steaks. What else would he like?

Ooh, fully loaded chips.

Tigers don't eat chips, Gary.

Well, I eat chips, and Mr. Stripes and I are like

best friends, Hanley, so yeah, I think he'll like the chips.

Hey, Gary, why do you think you're connecting

with this Tiger so much, huh?

'Cause he's perfect and I love him.

Sure. Do you want to hear my theory?

No.

This tiger was raised in captivity,

lived its life without freedom.

Sound like anyone you know, Gar?

Uh, most of the world under late capitalism?

You, Gary.

You feel trapped in a job you didn't choose.

You think you'll never escape.

This tiger... is you.

What'd you read, like, one psychology book,

like, yesterday?

Go for Gary.

Oh, shit. Okay, Hanley, we gotta go.

Gary, we have to pay for these!

No, we don't! Fuck stores!

Fuck late capitalism! Let's go!

What's going on? Is it Mr. Stripes?

Oh, if one of you hurt him, I will skin you and...

Well, I'll skin you.

Your tiger's freaking out, Gary.

Say the word and I'll end its pain.

No, no way! What did I just say, Steph?

Come in, Gary.

Don't touch him.

We whipped up an antidote, and we tried it on some rats.

Show him, Gavin.

Behold!

What, it turned them into spiders?

What? Oh, sorry.

Wrong cage. Behold!

It killed them, Gar.

And that tiger has ran out of time, man.

Also, we got the spiders out of Mrs. Cranbrook's belly.

But we didn't get 'em all.

So what does this mean for Mr. Stripes?

What else can we do?

Gary, you know what it means. It's over.

Let me do it alone.

Ugh.

Hey, buddy.

Oh, God. This just isn't fair.

You're going to die and someone like Mrs. Cranbrook

gets to keep living.

I'm so sorry.

All this over a tiger.

I've never seen him like this. He's like, proper sad.

And he's seen a lot of people die.

Yeah, man, but you never know

what's going to trigger a man's emotions.

I remember when they ended "Family Matters"

without wrapping it up, without having Laura and Steve

get together and get married.

I wept like a baby.

They never got together?

No, man.

The C.B.S. set burned down, so they just called it quits.

No ending.

Wow.

It's all messed up in the game, man.

I'm gonna go make sure he's okay.

Son of a gun! Gary...

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.

How you doing, buddy?

Oh, this is a bad idea. Freedom!

Gary, where are you?

I'm taking Mr. Stripes far away, where you can't hurt him.

You'd better find an antidote, Hanley.

I'm not coming home without me tiger!

Come on, Gary. That tiger's infected.

He's dangerous.

Yeah, maybe you're right, because he's currently

murdering an entire bag of fully loaded chips.

Stripes loves how fully loaded they are.

Feel dumb?

Well, it's not good for him, Gary.

It's full of saturated fats.

Fuck off.

Okay, call me when you have an antidote.

Hey, Stripes, give me one of those.

Okay, no, you know what? You have 'em all.

We're here!

You know, I used to come here with someone

who was really special to me.

And now you're here because you're special to me,

and I love you.

You hung-y? Okay, you stay here.

I'm gonna catch us some fish for din-din.

Are you serious?

You're just gonna cruise around like this?

All right!

♪ Riding high up on this beast! ♪

Feeling great about my choices!

♪ When the world tells you to give up your dreams! ♪

♪ Plug your ears and reject their advice! ♪

♪ I'm the guy on the tiger! ♪

♪ It's the time of my life!

♪ Riding high through the streams and the valleys! ♪

♪ And the world says my tiger is a threat to my life! ♪

♪ But when folks say you're wrong, double down! ♪

♪ And be the guy on the tiger! ♪

Oh, Mr. Stripes, that was the greatest day of my life.

I'm gonna go grill up this fish so it can...

Get in my belly!

I've gotta show you that movie.

That's like the fully loaded chips of movies.

It's fully loaded!

Would you like that, Mr. Stripes?

Hmm? Mr. Stripes?

What's up, Marito?

Yo, great news. Check this out.

You bought different rats.

No. Those are the same rats.

Those are the same rats. Gotcha.

The antidote didn't kill 'em, man,

it just put 'em in a coma for 10 hours.

When they woke up, they were cured.

How do you like that?

I like it a lot!

We just have to get this to Gary.

And I think I might know where to find him.

Hey, Marito, I didn't find him.

I thought he might have just gone home, but he's not here.

Oh.

You want me to use an app to track his phone?

Yeah.

Yeah, you should have done that in the first place, probably.

Yeah, just call me back. Or I'll wait on the line.

Nice neighbourhood.

Is that like an organic grocery store?

Gary?

Oh, Gary. Oh, God, he bit you.

No, no. He was just playing.

He's so funny.

What you got there?

Marito's antidote. It worked.

Oh, great. Now I can save Mr. Stripes.

Mr. Stripes!

Gary, that's all there is. You have to take it.

That venom's killing you as we speak.

I don't care, Hanley. Mr. Stripes is more important.

Mr. Stripes!

Whoa.

Oh, there he is. Come on, buddy.

Stay back! Gary, take that antidote!

Fuck you! No way!

Mr. Stripes, come on over here so I can save your life

and die in your loving paws.

I'm not gonna fight you, Mr. Stripes.

Please stop doing that!

I'm trying to help you.

I love you, Mr. Stripes.

Remember?

Remember...

There we go, buddy.

Nice and easy.

Oh, no, hey. Oh!

Mr. Stripes, what are you doing?

Oh, no. Mr. Stripes.

Mr. Stripes, no.

There's my guy. How you feeling, Gary?

Not good.

Well, if you're upset about Mrs. Cranbrook,

you'll be happy to know,

she successfully passed...

Gavin.

...the last of the spiders!

Gavin, Gavin, Gavin!

That's not what he's upset about, man.

Aw, jeez.

Did I miss an entire A plot here?

Old Gavin, always the B plot.

Buddy, you gotta...

Gary, if it's any consolation, Mr. Stripes died

shortly after you passed out, in minimal pain.

Should have been me, Hanley.

Mr. Stripes was the better man.

Hey, don't sell yourself short, tiger.

You're a good guy, too, okay?

You think so?

Yeah, I do.

I mean, sometimes you're pretty vicious

and your pranks can border on sadism,

and Mrs. Cranbrook has been dying to meet you

for I don't know how long...

I guess you're right. I am a pretty good guy.

Maybe I should get a pet.

Oh, yeah. That's a fun idea.

Like a dog.

Yeah. Or like a snake.

Oh, yeah. I could see you with a snake.

See me rolling up to the club with a snake around my neck?

Fur coat on or something.

Just like, "Hey, move the fuck aside

or my snake will gob you up, you bitch!"

Yeah, something like that.