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1
00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:03,394
Oh, and it's a huge slam dunk,
and a timeout.
2
00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:04,961
I'm Chris Straightman,
and with me as always
3
00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:06,832
is John "Mr. Positive" Hanson.
4
00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:09,139
Mr. Positive, this team
is getting stomped.
5
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,575
What can they do
to turn it around?
6
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:13,361
Well, Chris, anytime you
got 10 guys on the court,
7
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:16,277
fans in the stands, two hoops,
and a coach at either bench,
8
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:19,541
it's hard not to say,
"That's basketball!"
9
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,892
Well, as always, 10% information
and 90% personality from John.
10
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:24,981
And we are under way here as...
11
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,635
Oh, no!
12
00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:27,984
Some sort of demon
has rushed the court
13
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:30,639
and taken the referee's arms.
14
00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:31,422
There he is!
15
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:32,684
Take 'em, Gar!
16
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,817
Gary takes the court and boom!
17
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:37,037
Ka-boom!
18
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:42,738
Oh, hell, yes.
19
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,653
T-shirt giveaway.
20
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:50,093
Wow, these things are an
accident waiting to happen.
21
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:53,096
Any last words, you
little motherfucker?
22
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:56,230
Fleshler says, "Hi."
23
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,188
What a twist.
24
00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,103
The demon killing himself
after a hard-fought battle.
25
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:04,325
I'll say it again, Chris.
This is basketball!
26
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:06,240
No, it is not.
27
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:16,467
So who's this Fleshler guy that
demon was talking about, Gar?
28
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,034
Hanley, have I ever told
you about the day I asked
29
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,601
Janine to marry me?
30
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,342
No.
31
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:24,258
Well, the year was 1999.
32
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,695
Could you give a message
to my kids for me?
33
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,219
Janine and I were inseparable.
34
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:35,051
Before we fight, Mr. Code, have
you ever heard of... philosophy?
35
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,748
Tell me.
36
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:42,711
Oh, my God!
37
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:46,149
What are you
talking about?
38
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:47,716
That was the worst movie
I've ever seen in my life.
39
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,587
Okay, I'm not saying it was the
best movie I've ever seen,
40
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:50,762
but I really, really liked it.
41
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,286
What's wrong with that?
42
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,330
What did you like about it?
43
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:56,246
I liked when everything
slowed down in time
44
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,508
and then you could
see everything.
45
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,596
Code time.
46
00:01:58,596 --> 00:01:59,945
You like when it went
into code time?
47
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:00,685
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
48
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,165
What?
49
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,123
I think that dog is rescreening
your favourite part
50
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:03,993
of the movie right now.
51
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,821
What?
Oh, Gary, come on.
52
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:06,865
Don't make me look at that.
53
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,171
I think that dog's in code time.
54
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,607
Oh, my God.
55
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:11,740
Look how long it's taking
for it to push that shit
56
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:12,741
out of its ass.
57
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:15,439
That actually looks...
Oh, that dog's not well.
58
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:15,961
Oh, man.
59
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,093
What do you wanna do now?
60
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,399
Um...
61
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:19,922
Okay.
I know what to do.
62
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:20,618
Tell me.
63
00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:20,792
You know what to do.
64
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:21,532
Yes, I do.
65
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:21,967
We know what to do.
66
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:22,968
Yes, I do.
67
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:25,884
Swing dancing!
68
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:28,191
Fucking losers!
69
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:30,411
♪ Swing music's back
and it's here to stay! ♪
70
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,543
♪ It's not a fad and
it's not a trend! ♪
71
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,850
♪ It's something
I've invested in! ♪
72
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,113
♪ Lots of money,
I'm in debt! ♪
73
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:38,375
♪ I'm in debt!
74
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,985
♪ So let's swing dance!
75
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,204
Those swing lessons
were the best investment
76
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,118
we ever made, baby.
77
00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:43,641
You said it!
78
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,817
Swing music's back and
it's not going anywhere.
79
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,255
It's not going anywhere!
80
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,386
Oops.
Sorry about that.
81
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,649
You will be.
82
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,042
I...am?
83
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:53,912
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
84
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:54,565
What did you fucking say?
85
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:55,131
Gary...
86
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,263
No, it's okay.
It's okay.
87
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,439
I'm not gonna freak out.
I just wanna...
88
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,571
I just wanna know what he said,
and if he said what I think
89
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:02,791
he said, well, then, I'm going
to beat the shit out of him.
90
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:03,792
Okay, whoa, Gary.
91
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:06,011
I'll kill you and your bitch.
92
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,579
Oh, my God.
Are you kidding me right now?
93
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,233
You had one ally
here, buddy.
94
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,669
Excuse me?
95
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,018
I was trying to play peacekeeper
here, you asshole.
96
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,716
She was on your side,
you fucking idiot.
97
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,021
What are you gonna do about it?
98
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,241
What am I gonna do about it?
99
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,460
Oh, you're demons.
100
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,810
Well, that actually
changes a bit.
101
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:22,811
Beat his ass, Gary.
102
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,160
Yes, I will.
I will.
103
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,596
Calm down.
Holy shit.
104
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,729
Okay, Janine, you wanna lay
down the ground rules?
105
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:30,862
Rule number one: the
fight has already started.
106
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,475
What a team.
The bait-and-switch.
107
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,521
Distracter and the ball kicker.
An unstoppable duo.
108
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:38,174
Yeah.
109
00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,394
And away we go!
110
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:41,525
♪ Well, my wife
doesn't know ♪
111
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:42,526
♪ that I mortgaged
the house! ♪
112
00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:45,050
♪ To fund our
latest album! ♪
113
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,096
♪ She'd leave me
if she knew! ♪
114
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,358
♪ She'd take the kids...!
115
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:49,968
Janine, you want to say
something now?
116
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:51,274
Table for one.
117
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:52,536
Uh... you wanna try...
118
00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,625
You wanna try
just one more time?
119
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,714
Um... this guy's cut off.
120
00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:58,890
Oh, yeah!
Yes!
121
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,109
There it is!
122
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:03,330
Ha!
Yep.
123
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:08,204
Fleshler will find out
about this.
124
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,772
Whatever that means.
125
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,861
All right, how'd I do, baby?
126
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,342
You were okay.
I think I was pretty good.
127
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:18,127
Yes, you were.
You were good.
128
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:19,694
Yeah, even when I was
fighting demons,
129
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:22,131
Janine made everything
feel good.
130
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:27,789
But that was nothing compared to
our chemistry in... the bedroom.
131
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,968
Oh, Gary.
132
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,709
I love you, Janine.
133
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:37,102
I love you, Gar.
134
00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:46,024
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
135
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:48,026
oh, my God!
136
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,767
Gary!
Gary, enough!
137
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:50,507
We were humping like this.
138
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,073
We were sort of
humping like this.
139
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:53,423
We were like...
140
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,033
Yeah, okay, Gary.
I get the picture.
141
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,774
You made love.
142
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:57,819
That's right, Hanley.
143
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:58,341
We did it all.
144
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,343
Her on top.
Me on top.
145
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:03,564
69, 96, that's when the back of
your head touches her calves,
146
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,566
you're kind of like,
"Is this sex?"
147
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:09,961
Finally we finished,
and then right back to it.
148
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,486
And we were like, "Oh, my God!
Oh, my..."
149
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:13,530
Gary!
Please!
150
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,749
Enough!
151
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,925
Let the man tell his story.
152
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,622
The next morning
should have kicked off
153
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,711
the best day of my life.
154
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:23,714
Instead it was the worst.
155
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:27,022
Janine, wake up!
156
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:32,593
Time for French toast
with a side of forever.
157
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:36,858
Janine?
158
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:39,948
"Dear Gary, I have
your girlfriend."
159
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,228
"Ok.
160
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,534
I guess that's it."
161
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:04,407
"Yours, Fleshler."
162
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:07,236
Janine!
163
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:08,324
Hey!
164
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,196
Some of us are trying to sleep.
165
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,024
Fuck you, Terry!
It's noon.
166
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,200
Get a job.
167
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,073
I've been looking.
168
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,988
Turns out Fleshler was some
hot new demon on the scene
169
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,860
who owned a club downtown.
170
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:29,998
Old Gary was going clubbing.
171
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:34,437
Excuse me, does this
door lead into F Club?
172
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:35,046
Yeah, that feels like a yes.
173
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:38,876
Whoa!
Oh!
174
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:39,790
I don't know what they're
playing in there,
175
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:43,620
but out here it's
chin music, baby.
176
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:46,362
I guess that one's just for me. Okay.
177
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:52,150
All right, Fleshler,
where are you hiding?
178
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,504
Ah, crap.
179
00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,158
You got him?
Ooh, that's good news.
180
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,813
Darvon, do you mind going
and checking downstairs
181
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,033
and seeing how it's
going down there?
182
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,817
Ooh, and while you're down
there, do you mind grabbing me
183
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:10,604
one of those um... flesh juices
from the fridge?
184
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,823
They're so good.
Should I, though?
185
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,434
No, yes.
Get me one.
186
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,913
Get me a flesh juice
from the fridge,
187
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,480
just one of the ones
on the bottom ones.
188
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,786
The diet ones.
189
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:19,961
And Janine, do you...
Do you want anything?
190
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,049
Fuck you.
191
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,530
Okay, so yeah, just the
flesh juice for me then.
192
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,228
So here's what I'm thinking.
193
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,969
Holy guacamole!
194
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:28,752
Gary!
195
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,101
Janine!
Oh, thank God.
196
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,276
Fuck him up, Gary.
197
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,277
I'm gonna.
I'm gonna.
198
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,279
I'm gonna kick his
goddamn dick off.
199
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,455
Easy, chosen one.
200
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,500
We don't want anyone
losing their heads.
201
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,764
Do you think Darvon's
actually okay?
202
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,897
You really kicked
the shit out of him.
203
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,899
That is nothing
compared to what I...
204
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:47,292
What you'll do to
me, yes, right.
205
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,642
I can't blame you.
206
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,644
I did kidnap your
girlfriend on the day
207
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:51,993
you were going to propose.
208
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:54,474
Hey, man, come on!
What the f...
209
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,214
Gary, you... you were?
210
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,302
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
211
00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:59,870
He put the ring in
some French toast.
212
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:00,436
Don't.
213
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:00,915
It was so cute.
214
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,483
I worry about, you know, choking
and that kind of thing but...
215
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,658
No one was going to choke.
216
00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,529
Well, you could have.
217
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:11,839
Listen, I'm a reasonable demon.
All I want is to protect my kin.
218
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:15,320
So, chosen one, give me
your sword and walk away.
219
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,367
I'll make sure you're never
hassled by demons again.
220
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:21,065
That is the Fleshler guarantee.
221
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,153
Gary, no.
222
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:22,980
Come on.
223
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,808
A life of peace
with the one you love
224
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:28,377
or a pointless existence
battling demons... alone.
225
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,900
No.
Keep your sword, Gary.
226
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,468
Please, the world's more
important than I am.
227
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:36,907
Janine, I respectfully disagree.
228
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,042
Ooh, right on!
229
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,696
Janine, just out of curiosity,
230
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:45,916
what would you have said
to Gary's proposal?
231
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:46,482
Yes.
232
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:47,309
Aw.
233
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,833
Aw, that is so cool.
234
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,748
That's nice.
How's that feel, Gary?
235
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,620
Pretty good I bet.
236
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,144
I love a "yes."
237
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,278
How's that feel?
Yeah, feels good to me!
238
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:03,891
Wow, that was awesome.
239
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,850
Okay.
240
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,723
Nighty-night, Gary boy.
241
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:55,246
I rushed Janine to the hospital,
but by then it was too late.
242
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,379
I didn't even get a
chance to say goodbye.
243
00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,599
Jeez, Gary.
244
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,601
I'm so sorry, buddy.
245
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,037
Is that the first time
you ever...
246
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,473
Controlled anything
with my mind?
247
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,388
Sure was.
248
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,042
First and last.
249
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,043
Right, well...
250
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:11,785
I mean, regardless of
what this demon said,
251
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,656
there's no way Fleshler
could be back.
252
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:15,440
You killed him.
I mean, he's dead.
253
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,312
I hope you're right, Hanley.
254
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:19,096
If there's one thing I've
learned about these demons,
255
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:22,012
they always find a
way to come back.
256
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,841
Come on, let's get this guy
to a hospital.
257
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,538
How you feeling, buddy?
258
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,453
Oh, shit.
He's dead.
259
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:29,716
He's dead. Okay.
260
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,109
Okay, that's a perfect capper.
261
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:34,372
Come on, help me wheel him out.
262
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,505
Good Lord.
263
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,712
Oh, yes.
264
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,193
I'm back.
18059
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