Original subtitles

FAINT MUSIC: Carol Of The Bells

Once upon a time...

..late on Christmas Eve...

..a stranger came to the church on Ruby Road.

She carried in her arms the most precious gift of all.

A newborn child.

A baby girl.

Just before midnight,

she left her daughter on the steps of the church.

The child was taken in

and they named her Ruby,

after the place where she was found.

CLOCK CHIMES

As for the mother, she was never seen again.

No-one ever knew her name.

METALLIC THRUMMING

Until that night,

a time traveller came to call.

A traveller known as...

..the Doctor.

And that's how I got my name. Ruby. Named after Ruby Road.

That's where I was found, almost...

..19 years ago.

So you were a foundling?

And you were fostered by Carla, who then went on to adopt you.

Is that right? Yeah. And she's amazing.

I mean, she's nuts, but...

..she's... the best mum I could ever have. Yeah.

So life's been good, would you say? Yeah. Not bad.

I mean, we've had a mad time with it, haven't we?

And my A-levels were not the best,

cos we had to leave Manchester to move down here,

cos we came and looked after my gran and we couldn't afford care

and she would never move to the north, not in a million years.

So, yeah, that's been tricky... and expensive.

No-one would move to London.

I know! So that's left me a bit stranded.

Um, I think I'm just... FAINT CHITTERING VOICE

..still waiting for my life to begin.

Sorry. Can we stop? Is there a radio or something?

FAINT CHITTERING

Is there a door open? I'm getting a noise.

What sort of noise? It sounds like voices,

like a whisper.

FAINT CHITTERING IN RECORDING

It won't be long.

You don't mind me using the word foundling, do you?

It's just... some people think it's a bit old-fashioned.

Oh, no, no, no. No, no, that's fine. I mean, it's what I am. I was found.

I was foundled! I love that!

Yeah. Foundled.

Seems to have gone. Sorry about that. Sound speed.

OK, so let's pick it up.

So, Ruby, the reason why we make this show

is to see if we can help you.

In the old days, foundlings were left without a trace,

but now we really can work magic with DNA.

So we've taken your sample,

and we're going to use it to help track your genetic heritage.

And we're hoping to be able to trace

your birth mother

or birth father

or someone in your family.

But, Ruby, we can't work miracles.

CHITTERING

And even if we do make contact,

they might not want to be found,

and we have to respect that.

CHITTERING

Can I ask you something? Yeah.

If... if we did find someone...

..what are you hoping for?

Just the truth.

Look out!

Oh, my God, are you OK?

I'm fine, I'm fine. It missed.

I'm OK. It missed. I'm fine.

That was lucky! RUBY LAUGHS

Ow!

♪ Sleigh bells ring Are you listening?

♪ In the lane Snow is glistening

♪ A beautiful sight We're happy tonight

♪ Walking in a winter wonderland

♪ Gone away is the bluebird

♪ Here to stay is a new bird CHITTERING

♪ Sings a love song As we go along

♪ Walking in a winter wonderland... ♪

SOUND SYSTEM AND MIC STOP

CROWD EXCLAIM

Sorry, everyone, sorry. What's happened?

I don't know. I think it's just dead.

Give it some welly!

All right, I said sorry. OK?

Can you do Gaudete? Can we do what?

♪ Open my mouth to breathe the words to you

♪ But words just won't come out

♪ So I cried

♪ It's just

♪ One touch to free me

♪ From falling down on my own

♪ From falling down on my own

CHITTERING

♪ One touch to close

♪ One touch to show me

♪ Not all minds are cold... ♪

HE LAUGHS Careful!

Thank you.

But... you were just over there.

Health and safety. Gin and tonic division.

Can I ask, does that happen to you a lot?

Knocking things over? All the time.

But I'm just clumsy. No, no, you're not.

It's worse than that.

Merry Christmas.

♪ I never felt like this before

♪ I never felt like this before... ♪

Oh!

WIND GUSTS

CHATTER AND LAUGHTER

Honestly, Rubes, it's like you've got a curse!

I know. And then I lose that 20 quid. Honestly, it's like

for the past three weeks, bad luck has just been following me around.

I lose that job, I broke that thing, I broke my heel,

then I fell over in front of that fit dentist! No!

You're jinxed, Ruby! And just to make it worse,

Bobby McGeever asked you out.

Innit? I am telling you, there's a whirlwind of bad luck,

and who's in the centre of it? Me!

Oh, babe! THEY LAUGH

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

CREAKING

CHITTERING

CLUNKING

GRINDING

GRINDING

GRINDING

SONIC WHIRS

Well, yeah, you had to. What are you going to do?

CLUNKING

Get back! Move! Go, go, go, go, go!

GRINDING

HE CRIES OUT

You all right?

A pram? At midnight?

Really?

It's my shopping.

SHE KISSES HER TEETH

Oh, my God! Sir, are you all right? Are you...?

CHITTERING

Are you OK? I'm fine.

I'm sorry. Report... I'm going to have to report this.

OK.

Name - the Doctor.

Occupation - not a doctor.

Current status - just passing by.

Employer - myself.

Address - that blue box over there.

Now, if you don't mind, I just got snowmanned,

and I would like to go home.

Er...

Doctor... what would that be? Just the Doctor.

SONIC PINGS

She's going to say yes.

Who is? Your girlfriend -

when you ask her to marry you on Christmas Day.

How do you know that?

Cos my sonic screwdriver just went ping.

That's a screwdriver? Which is sonic.

And that precise ping is detecting a two-carat diamond in your pocket,

which says engagement ring. And I'm guessing that she's a she

cos 91% of men wouldn't choose a diamond.

Plus Christmas Day - it's obvious.

But how do you know she'll say yes?

Cos the sales start on Tuesday and you just couldn't wait.

And that's why she loves you.

Merry Christmas!

METALLIC THRUMMING

She says yes...

She says yes!

MUSIC: Merry Christmas Everyone

♪ Snow is falling

♪ All around me

♪ Children playing

♪ Having fun

♪ It's the season

♪ Love and understanding

♪ Merry Christmas, everyone... ♪

It's not my fault. Listen, sweetheart,

I'm not what you'd call decrepit. I do my callisthenics,

I keep myself fit and able, thank you very much.

I did a fun run last Easter

in 25 minutes flat.

Blisters the size of apples,

and I kept going.

But all the same,

how am I supposed to get round that great big thing of a morning?

I hope you don't mean me! Oh, merry Christmas, Rubes.

Have you seen what he's done, putting that there?

Well, what makes you think it was me?

Because you've never liked me. I've seen you...

..looking.

Isn't it your birthday, love?

Oh, it is. Yeah. I was a Christmas Eve baby. Aww.

So, what IS that thing?

Police box. I haven't seen one on the streets

of London for 50 years. CHITTERING

And don't want to see one now.

Well, season of goodwill and all that.

Hey, try not to kill each other.

Oh!

CHITTERING

SHE HUMS

Hiya, Mum. I got most of it, except I dropped the eggs,

which is a really big problem,

because the shops close for all of one day.

Guess what!

We're having a baby! No way! You kidding?

Little girl. Seriously?

Isn't it brilliant? All of a rush. I couldn't say no.

What...? Hold on. You mean now?

Today, Christmas Eve!

That's amazing. How old? Newborn.

No. That's a coincidence. That's what I said!

Wait. So... Oh, my God, are we... Are we even ready?

What did they say? What happened?

We're having a baby!

That's Christmas ruined.

Sleepless nights and stinky nappies.

Ruby, baby, make me a cup of tea.

OK. Hold on. Two ticks!

So what did they say?

She's coming round with the baby right now. She's on her way.

It's been years since we fostered one this young.

I can't remember how to put this thing together.

Hey, funny, though. A baby on Christmas Eve. Just like me.

I got lucky all those years ago.

If you ever find her,

your other mother,

I'm going to tell her...

..you were so small.

Hey, come here. Come here.

I got lucky with my name.

I bet this one's all Christmassy, like Noele, or Eve.

Or Holly. RUBY LAUGHS

Or Carol.

She's called Lulubelle.

Oh...

What a terrible name.

Oh, an absolutely terrible name.

Isn't it awful?

That's for the safe box.

Happy birthday. Carla said. What a day!

Oh, and I raided the provisions,

but the cupboard was bare.

So it's a section 20.

We'd have kept little Lulubelle on the ward,

but we haven't got the staff.

What happened to the mum? Just can't cope.

And the family is too complicated for words.

But I'm hopeful.

I think she'll be with you five or six days till we can see what's what.

Oh, you've been painting! Making the place our own.

Cos we're never going to move her.

I am not going anywhere! Shackle me to this bed!

And where is my cup of tea?

Merry Christmas, Cherry.

We should really get you a ground-floor flat.

Not moving.

SHE KISSES HER TEETH

SHE BLOWS A KISS

SHE KISSES BACK

Hey there, Lulubelle.

You're in with me.

It's a terrible name!

We're all off until the 27th.

But maybe as a rough plan, you could bring her to the hospital

on Thursday 28th, maybe ten o'clock.

I'll text you.

It's just for a meeting with Mum. Start bonding.

Yeah, we might have to go shopping first.

These nappies are for six-month-old.

Oh, I'm an idiot! Shops are still open.

Hold on...

I like to take a snap.

Can you still get film for those?

You wait long enough, they're fashionable again.

Smile!

CAMERA WHIRS

There you go.

Welcome to the family, Lulu.

Lulu sounds nice.

OK, I won't be long, and I can get some more eggs.

Anything else? I'll go.

And I'll walk to Portobello Road and have a proper shop.

I can do it.

No, but then I can get something for Lulu.

Christmas AND birthday.

You soft thing. She might only be with us for a couple of days.

I'm leaving you in charge. Rule number one -

don't lose the baby.

I'll try my best.

I'm off, Mum. I'll just be an hour.

Where is my blasted tea? You let the last one go cold.

How much are these flats underneath you? What do they go for?

We're the last little pocket of fixed rent up here.

That's why Mum won't move.

PHONE RINGS

Oh, shush, don't wake the baby.

Hello.

Is that Ruby? It's Davina.

Davina McCall.

Oh, my God. Hi.

Merry Christmas.

It's nice to hear from you.

Look, it's not great timing,

and it's not good news, I'm afraid.

I'm... I'm so sorry. I know it's your birthday,

but there is no trace of your mum or dad.

I'm sorry. It happens sometimes.

No, that's fine.

Thanks, but... can you keep looking?

No. There's nothing more we can do.

If your parents aren't on some kind of a database,

we can't find them.

OK.

Um, isn't that unusual, though?

There's not a single trace anywhere?

I mean, in the whole wide world,

my mother's never left a blood sample or anything?

I'm sorry.

OK. Sorry, I get it. I'M sorry.

And it's really very kind of you

to let me know yourself.

Look, there is something else I'd like to ask you.

Ruby, have you been having any bad luck recently?

What do you mean? Bad luck.

Ever since that day, it's never stopped.

I've been hit,

I've been thrown, I've been bumped.

I fell off a boat on dry land.

I've been in accidents, collisions.

I've even been trampled by a moose!

And I can't help thinking

it all comes back to when I met you.

I... suppose the funny thing is

that I have been having bad luck recently,

but I just keep dropping things.

I knew it! But they're all accidents.

How do we stop them?

I'm begging you.

Tell me how I can make it stop.

I'm terrified. GRINDING

Sooner or later, there's going to be an accident I can't avoid.

And next time it might be...

SHE SHRIEKS

LINE GOES DEAD

Davina?

Hmm.

SHE PUTS PHONE DOWN

CHITTERING

CHITTERING

FAINT LAUGHTER

CHITTERING AND LAUGHTER

BABY LULU CRIES Happy... birthday.

SHE GASPS

Oh...

W-W-W...

LAUGHTER

SHE GASPS

CHITTERING

LULU CRIES

What the hell...?

What are you?

CREATURE HISSES

Oh. Did you just hiss at me?

Was that a hiss?

Because let me tell you, I'm not...

Oh, my God. I'm on the roof.

CREATURE CALLS OUT

No, no, no, no, no. Give me back my baby!

Don't... Don't do that!

SHE WHIMPERS

What the hell are you doing?!

I'm... Just... There's...

But what did you do that for?!

Who sees a ladder and just pops on?

A ladder in the sky and you thought, "Yeah, I'll give that a go, babes"?

They've got the baby!

What's your name? Ruby. Ruby Sunday.

Hello, Ruby Sunday. And it's a Sunday right now.

That's a coincidence.

I'm the Doctor. Hi.

I met you before. Yup.

There are creatures. Goblins.

Goblins. They're goblins.

OK. I can't hold on.

Oh, right, right, right. Wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

Cos I spend a lot of time hanging off things...

..I invented these.

Gloves? Intelligent gloves.

One each. Should work. Put it on.

Cos I thought to myself, "What's the problem with hanging on?"

It's all the friction and the weight and the burn, so I got rid of that.

The glove's a kind of super-kinetic transfer of mass.

WHIRRING

THEY LAUGH

That's better!

The glove takes all my weight. All the weight is in the glove.

So nothing burns. Nothing pulls. Nothing hurts.

Ta-da!

I'm lightweight.

Yeah, all the mass and density and mavity exists in the glove,

not in you.

Super-gloves! Yeah.

They're pulling us in. But where? What's up there?

Goblins. Do you know why they call them goblins?

Cos they like to gobble you up.

And this lot want to gobble up the baby.

And this...

..is where they feast.

The goblin ship.

That's impossible!

It's beautiful.

And... what will they do to us?

Oh, they'll eat us too.

CHITTERING

Hiya.

GOBLINS SNARL

GOBLIN HISSES

FOOTSTEPS

FAINT CHITTERING

I can't believe this.

I can't believe a single thing that's happening, and...

FAINT LAUGHTER

..it's my birthday. It's your what, now?

Oh, never mind me. They're going to eat Lulubelle. What time's dinner?

No, but it's Lulubelle's birthday...

That is such a brilliant name.

I wish I was called Lulubelle.

And is your birthday on the same day?

Yeah, but it doesn't mean anything. It's just a coincidence.

Learn the language.

That's why they went after Lulubelle.

Coincidence is what makes the baby tasty.

That's how these goblins work. Chance and coincidence and luck.

That's how I spotted you.

You've been having lots of bad luck. Yes?

Well...

Yes, but that-that-that started way back.

I mean, Lulu arrived today.

I started having accidents weeks ago.

That was paving the way.

These goblins are time riders. They can surf the waves of time.

They spotted the chance of coincidence,

and they went back and they wove you in.

Wait. So they caused my accidents? Were they trying to kill me?

No, no. It's more like, uh...

If you walk through a day without any bad luck,

that's fine, that day is nothing.

But if you have lots of accidents, it stitches you in.

It weaves you into the day.

You become all complicated and knotted and vivid.

All of it leading up to a baby on Christmas Eve.

The same birthday as yours,

with a bedroom that is high up in the sky -

all the more convenient for a goblin ship. Ha!

Oh, it's like a tapestry. It's gorgeous!

How do you know all of this? I don't.

This is a brand-new science for me. And I love it.

The language of luck.

Cos what is a coincidence but a form of accident?

Two things bumping together unexpectedly.

Like you and me.

No, but who are you?

Why are you an expert in time-travelling goblins and...?

Oh! Pssh!

They are not time travellers. Excuse me!

Time travellers are great.

Like, the best. Like, wow.

This lot just bimble.

So if they're... bimbling...

..why did they pick on Davina McCall?

Oh, that was just fun.

Wait, how did you do that?

I spent a long, hot summer with Harry Houdini.

Now, then...

Right.

Let me see.

Door.

Hurry up. They're going to eat the baby.

SONIC WHIRS

Wrong world. Why? What is that thing?

Sonic screwdriver.

But a screwdriver needs screws.

This lot bind everything with knots.

Ah...

OK, we've got to get out, because they could be eating the baby

any second now.

What time were you born?

I don't know. They kind of just guessed. Two o'clock? 2pm?

Right... So..

Language...

Tapestry... Coincidence.

That must be the time for the feast.

What...? What time is it now?

Five to two.

THUDDING AT DOOR

We're circling back to your flat.

The pattern is closing. We'd better hurry up.

Yes! Well, if you gave me a hand!

I am learning the vocabulary of rope!

This stuff is their version of wires and electricity.

So if we...

..trip the right switch...

ROPE TWANGS AND WHIPS

What, you can speak rope?!

DOCTOR LAUGHS

Ah! You know,

we can't exactly sneak around. We're like giants in this place.

Oh, I think that even a leaky old goblin ship...

..has the equivalent of...

CREAKING

..ventilation shafts.

EXCITED CHITTERING

GONG RESOUNDS

I think that's the dinner gong.

What's the time?

Three minutes to.

DRUMMING Is that... a band?

Wait!

GOBLIN SHRIEKS

GOBLINS SING

Lulubelle!

GOBLINS CHEER

♪ We've got a baby, we can feast

♪ We can dine three days at least

♪ Baby blood and baby bones

♪ Baby butter for the baby scones.. ♪

That's "sconns".

♪ Little baby feets Little baby toes... ♪

Amazing... No, it's not!

What do we do? Er, OK.

♪ Baby's had such very bad luck

♪ Now into baby we will tuck!

♪ Eat the baby, add some salt... ♪

They're seasoning her! ♪ Bay leaves, barley, powdered malt

♪ Now baby's salted, she's a treat

♪ Her destiny it's time to meet

♪ Baby we need

♪ Baby we feed

♪ Eat with our teeth

♪ Better than beef

♪ Baby so soft

♪ Carried aloft

♪ Big brown eyes... ♪ Oh, no.

♪ Caramelise! ♪ What?

I wonder whose ship this is.

♪ He's the goblin king Yes, the goblin king

♪ He's not a myth He's an actual thing

♪ Here's the king Here's the king

♪ Here's the king Here's the king goblin! ♪

Oh... my... God. ♪ We love the king

♪ We sing ding-a-ling

♪ And we love his chin when it's wobbling

♪ He likes to dine on coincidence... ♪

Leave her alone!

Leave her alone! ♪ It fills him

♪ Builds him up, and hence

♪ He can eat! He can eat!

TOOTS

♪ 500 puppies with golden fur

♪ Orphan boys with jet-black hair

♪ Circus clowns with a red balloon... ♪

He can eat me. He makes me swoon!

♪ A banquet for our king on high

♪ Oh, little baby

♪ Oh, little baby...

♪ Say goodbye! ♪

KING ROARS

Huh...

LULU GRIZZLES

GOBLINS SNARL

Tough crowd.

Curtsey.

KING SNARLS

I'm the Doctor and this is my friend Ruby Sunday.

And I would just like to say...

why stop singing?

KING GROWLS

Rock it, Janice!

MUSIC STARTS

♪ Cos the goblin king Oh, the goblin king

♪ It's so good to meet you You great big thing

♪ I can see you're having a fun day

♪ Meet my friend She's Ruby Sunday

♪ It's good to meet you Good to greet you

♪ Good to say "How diddly-deet you"

♪ It's my birthday, my, oh, my... ♪

ROPE WHIPS

♪ I'm 50 miles up in the sky

WHIRRING

♪ But, goblins, you can go to hell

♪ Cos you're not eating Lulubelle

♪ Me and Rubes We got just one hope

♪ If I have understood that rope

♪ Cos stuck up there when things got hot

♪ I think I found the master knot

♪ The master knot has been undone

♪ That's when we start having fun! ♪

Hold on tight. Wait, what are you...?

If you reverse intelligent gloves, you get heavy.

HE WHOOPS SHE SHRIEKS

KING ROARS

How do we stop?! Love the glove, Ruby.

Love the glove!

Well...

Wow.

I'm back!

Hey.

Sorry, I got distracted.

I've given up on that cuppa and opted for a life of abstinence.

And who is this young fellow when he's at home?

Hi, I'm the Doctor.

The last time I saw a doctor, he tried to murder me,

so you stay away.

Oh... Oh, you don't need me.

You got your family looking after you.

We three queens of the sky up here in the attic.

Oh! And your name is Cherry?

It is. Hmm.

Cherry Sunday.

Like a tasty treat. Yes.

I'll see you later, Cherry. OK?

SHE COOS AT LULU

Glove. Oh, yeah.

PINGING

Only 3% left!

THUNDER RUMBLES So, are we safe now?

I mean, can that ship come sailing down? What do we do?

Can they get us? No, no, no, no.

I don't think they'd invade. Their world is up there

and they creep into ours, on the edges.

Whoa!

Sh-sh!

HE LAUGHS

Sh. Accidents.

That is how they get us.

Do they cause ALL accidents?

Maybe they do.

Oh! Is there anything in the kitchen?

Anything burning?

I... Doctor...

Move it! Doctor, what do we do?!

Oh!

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-ahh.

Deathtrap! Check everything.

The... the wiring and the plugs!

Who are they?

Oh. That's the family.

It's Mum's children. Oh...

It's all the kids that she's fostered over the years. Wow.

There's so many. I know.

She still keeps in touch with some of them.

Huh. Lots of them. She's amazing.

You have got the biggest family in the world.

I have.

What about you?

Er, I've got no-one.

Make sure the oven is off. Yeah?

You know, if you'd told me I'd be spending my birthday

fighting magic...

It's not magic. It's a language. It's a different form of physics.

Yes. Like magic!

Don't leave the baby alone!

Oh.

HE COOS AT LULU

She's all right. She's all right.

RUBY SIGHS

Don't leave her!

Er, YOU did too.

I know. But don't. DOOR OPENS

Here comes Santa!

Laden with presents!

Who's your friend?

This is... the... Doctor.

Hello. There's nothing wrong, is there?

Is she all right? The baby?

Yeah. No, she's fine.

Everything all right? What did you do that for?

URGENT WHISPERING

Wha gwan?

Can't get a cup of tea round here for love nor money.

URGENT WHISPERING

Me get you a packet of humbugs.

Like Scrooge. 'Tis the season!

URGENT WHISPERING

I've been looking after... So why do we need a doctor?

It's just a routine visit, that's all.

Oh.

Oh, let me see.

Poor little blossom. This is my mum, Carla.

Oh, look at her. Little chicken.

Hello, Lulubelle.

So she's been OK?

Hmmm. Mm-hm. Hmmm.

What's this?

What's that supposed to be?

Is that an eye? No.

It's a toy. It's the eye of a toy.

She's too young for toys. Where'd you get a toy from, anyway?

Oh, my God. Mum, can we just...?

Can we just stop for a minute?

Because I... I-I've had enough.

This has been the worst day ever.

And it is Christmas, and it's my birthday,

and it's just been a disaster.

No, but there... Look, there was a problem. But it's gone now.

No point worrying your mum.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just, um...

What I mean is...

..they phoned.

From the TV show.

When you were out this morning.

But they didn't find anything. Just...

No mum.

No dad. No brothers or sisters.

No cousins. Just... Just...

Nothing.

Oh, sweetheart.

I'm sorry, darling.

Come here. No, I'm all right.

Come here.

I'm glad they didn't find her.

Do you hear me? Glad.

Cos I don't know if I could make room.

Cos you're all mine.

That's what you are.

Isn't she gorgeous?

Yes. Yes, she is.

I was counting when I was out.

Lulubelle is the 33rd child I've fostered.

Oh, my God. I've got photos.

Have a look on the fridge. They're all there.

I had some of them for days, some for weeks,

some for years.

Only one of them stayed.

And you made my life.

You absolutely made my life.

You can wonder about your parents,

but I wonder who I'd be without you.

I'm adopted.

Are you?

Yeah, yeah. I, uh...

I only found out recently. That's a coincidence.

Oh, don't be saying that! THUNDER RUMBLES

So, do you know who your parents are?

No, no, I was... I was abandoned.

Oh, you were a foundling, just like Ruby.

Even bigger coincidence! THUNDER RUMBLES

Maybe we'd better not talk about coincidence. OK?

Do you want to just put that down?

I'll take that for you. All right.

I took a photo of little Lady Lu when she arrived.

Look at her, though.

She's so gorgeous.

Don't you just want to eat her up?

Oh, and that's a coincidence.

THUNDER RUMBLES

CRACKING

What the hell?!

Hold on. Don't move, don't move.

Don't move. Mum, don't move!

CREAKING

CREAKING

WIND WHISTLES

They're gone. HE MURMURS

Parting gift.

HE LAUGHS

Lucky at last!

I think that was them saying goodbye.

Cherry, all good?

One cup of tea, massi Lawd. Just one.

Thank you, Cherry. Thank you.

All good, Lulubelle?

Oh, such a good name. LULU COOS

But what the hell was that?

Look at the ceiling!

And the window!

I'm going to freeze.

Who's going to fix that on Christmas Eve?

Bye-bye. Ta-ra.

Who are you talking to?

No-one.

Nothing. Just...

Ah!

Absolutely nothing.

But the whole flat just cracked in half.

Now tell me what the hell just happened!

Maybe we should sit you down and tell you a Christmas story, huh?

What do you think, Ruby?

Ruby?

Where did she go?

Ruby!

Ruby, are you there?

Sorry. Sorry, but...

Where's she gone?

What are you on about? I'm looking for your daughter.

Don't be daft. Lulu's not my daughter.

I'm fostering her just for a couple of days.

No, no, no, no, I mean... I mean your daughter Ruby.

Who's Ruby?

Your daughter.

I told you, this is Lulu.

And she's a right old pain on Christmas Eve. Last thing I need.

But...

What do you want in the spare room?

HE BREATHES QUICKLY

Cherry... Do you remember Ruby?

What you talkin' about?

Your granddaughter is called Ruby.

There is no pickney in this home.

We were never so blessed.

CRACKING

You had another child named Ruby.

I've never had children, mate. No. You adopted her.

I foster.

Now, don't be so stupid.

I'm a foster mother. Just do it now and then, that's all.

I've had about five or six kids.

No, no, no, no. You had...

They've gone. Who has?

Your children.

All those lives.

You fostered 33.

How many? Not me, darling.

Don't be so stupid.

That's too much like hard work.

No way. I just put my name on the list when I need a bit of money.

No, you don't.

£800 per child. Don't say that.

I think you got me mixed up with someone else.

Cos there is no Ruby.

There's just me

stuck with my old mum

up here in the attic.

And I'm busy.

I couldn't have a kid full-time.

It'd be a nightmare.

This little brat arrives, ruining my holiday.

I was looking forward to it.

Christmas Day. Mum's asleep by three

and I'll be all on my own.

Why would I want a daughter?

I'm happy as I am.

Then why are you crying?

I don't know.

Why are YOU?

HE SOBS

They took the baby.

They went back. They took the baby. The other baby.

They went back in time

and took Ruby instead of Lulubelle.

They cracked the timeline.

But I will fix this.

I will fix this.

METALLIC THRUMMING

MUSIC: Carol Of The Bells

♪ Sweet silver bells

♪ All seem to say Throw cares away

♪ Christmas is here Bringing good cheer... ♪

BABY GURGLES

♪ Ding, dong, ding, dong That is their song

♪ With joyful ring All carolling

♪ One seems to hear Words of good cheer... ♪

BABY CRIES

CHITTERING AND LAUGHTER

BABY CRIES

GOBLIN SHOUTS

KING SNARLS

GOBLINS: ♪ Oh, now we feast! Oh, eat the beast!

♪ Oh, now we feast!

♪ Oh, eat the beast!

♪ Oh, now we feast! ♪ Oh, eat the beast!

♪ Oh, now we feast! Oh, eat the beast! ♪

HE GRUNTS

WHIRRING

HE GRUNTS

CREAKING AND RUMBLING

♪ Oh, now we feast! Oh, eat the beast!

♪ Oh, now we feast!

♪ Oh, eat the beast! ♪

HE GRUNTS

Down! Down!

♪ Oh, now we feast! Oh, eat the beast!

♪ Oh, now we feast... ♪

HE GROANS

HE CRIES OUT

KING SNARLS

ROARING

KING ROARS

BABY CRIES

KING ROARS

GOBLINS SHRIEK

CREAKING

BABY CRIES

Oh.

Ruby.

FAINT MUSIC: Carol Of The Bells

It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.

Aha. It's OK.

Happy birthday, Ruby.

Sh-sh-sh.

♪ Oh, how they pound Raising the sound

♪ O'er hill and dale Telling their tale

♪ Gaily they ring While people sing

♪ Songs of good cheer Christmas is here

♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas

♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas

♪ On, on they send On without end... ♪

RUMBLING

CLOCK CHIMES

♪ Sweet silver bells

♪ All seem to say Throw cares away

♪ Christmas is here

Bringing good cheer

♪ To young and old Meek and the bold

♪ Ding, dong, ding, dong That is their song

♪ With joyful ring All carolling

♪ One seems to hear Words of good cheer

♪ From ev'rywhere Filling the air

♪ Oh, how they pound Raising the sound

♪ O'er hill and dale Telling their tale

♪ Gaily they ring While people sing

♪ Songs of good cheer Christmas is here... ♪

MUSIC FADES

METALLIC THRUMMING

SONIC WHIRS

SONIC WHIRS

Oh, yes.

HE LAUGHS

Oh, there you are!

What? Where did you go...?

THEY LAUGH

Oh! Happy birthday.

What happened? I turned around and you were gone.

You were sort of...

I don't know, cos I was here, but I got a bit lost.

But what...? What happened?

Ooh, lots of things. Cos they went back.

You were gone. They took you as a baby.

So I went back, and then...

I forgot something.

Yes! HE LAUGHS

Just...

METALLIC THRUMMING

And next time it might be...

Ah! THUD

Ta-da!

DAVINA LAUGHS

You saved my life.

Merry Christmas, Davina McCall.

SHE WHISTLES

Busy man, sweetheart.

You and your box of tricks!

You look like you've lost a pound and found a sixpence.

What's wrong? Just wondering.

Maybe I'M the bad luck.

WIND WHISTLES Hallelujah! Praise the Lord.

I thought this day would never come. Me tea reach at last.

And don't forget. Two yellow pills at five o'clock.

But you're the least of my problems.

What do we do tonight?

This crack - it's like a wind tunnel.

What are we supposed to do on Christmas Day?

Sit here and freeze?

And who is he anyway, that man? What's his name?

Doctor what?

What did he mean, he went back?

What sort of doctor? Did he say?

Who the hell is he?

I'd better go.

Merry Christmas.

Who are you, anyway?

No-one. Just passing by.

Well, you take care.

Where did he come from?

Why was he even here in the first place?

I don't know. He sort of popped up at the right moment.

And then he was gone.

Like... how?

SHE LAUGHS

It's all been so mad, I haven't actually had time to stop and think.

He said I was taken as a baby. Isn't that what he said just now?

I don't know. He's crazy.

He went back. He said he went back. What did he mean, he went back?

When was Houdini? What?

When was Houdini? Houdini was, like, 1900s, 1920s.

How could he...?

And then he spoke about time travellers and then he...

Where are you going now?

DOOR CLOSES UPSTAIRS

Where is he? Where is he?

Mrs Flood, did you see?

There was a man, and he was about so high, and amazing,

in a big leather coat?

What do you mean?

DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES

SHE LAUGHS

Oh...

Good luck, Ruby.

SHE EXHALES

DOOR CLOSES

Who are you?

I'm the Doctor.

METALLIC THRUMMING

Mrs Flood, did you see that?

Mrs Flood, did you see?

The box thing! It just vanished.

It was there

and then it wasn't.

It just disappeared.

Oh, merry Christmas, Abdul.

Stop making such a fuss.

Never seen a TARDIS before?