Original subtitles

[light music]

[sighing]

Good morning.

Morning.

What time is it?

I have no idea.

Oh my god, it's 10:30.

We slept for like 12 hours.

I needed it.

I haven't slept that well in a long, long time.

Yeah?

Yeah.

[cheery music]

They say the journey of life

is like a trek up a mountain.

We spend most of our time putting

one foot in front of the other.

We get lost,

we fall,

we circle back,

and sometimes every step is a struggle.

Until the moment comes when we find our footing,

when we are able to stop,

take a breath,

and look up and see how far we've come

and understand how beautiful that is.

And suddenly the air sparkles all around us like a jewel

and the world cracks open in all its loveliness.

And we are filled with deep and abiding gratitude

for all that we have and all that we are.

[phone ringing]

[groaning]

[phone ringing]

I should probably get that.

[kiss]

[phone ringing]

Hello.

Erica, where are you?

You were supposed to help me setup.

Oh my god, the engagement brunch.

Yes. The engagement brunch with 50

of Dave and Ivan's closest and bestest friends

and it starts in 45 minutes.

Do you want a glass of water?

Uh, sure.

Wait a minute,

do you have company?

Company of the overnight variety?

Do not lie.

Yes.

[laughs happily] Erica.

Look Julianne, I'm sorry.

I'm just gonna jump in the shower and I'll be right there.

Okay?

Okay, do not take a bus or a streetcar.

Take a cab.

I want you here pronto Toronto.

Loud and clear.

Bye.

Oh my god.

I completely forgot it's Ivan and David's engagement brunch

and Julia's hosting and she asked me

to be here little helper.

Yeah, no worries.

I'm late for work anyway.

I'll see you tonight.

[kiss]

Bye.

Bye.

[door closes]

Focus, focus, focus, focus.

[bright music]

♪ It's clearer inside of me who I will always be ♪

♪ Open me up to my heart

♪ Feels like I'm seeing the dark ♪

♪ To do it all over again and again ♪

♪ Fun to the end

♪ Some of my dreams and everything I ever want it to be ♪

Oh, come on.

Every couple has a story about how they met.

Yeah, I just don't think people are gonna wanna hear ours.

Dave, humor me.

Fine.

The year was 2002 and I was working

as a contractor in this library downtown

and David was poet in residence.

Everyone knew I was gay.

Poet in residence,

quelle surprise.

And I thought Ivan was straight

and still I was stupidly hot for him.

Anyway, one day I'm up a ladder,

I'm reaching for a book.

And I was passing by and I looked up.

You were just smitten.

It's one way of putting it.

I couldn't stop myself.

I walked up to him,

I reached up and I grabbed his ass.

I'm sorry, you what?

And then he smiled and said, "Nice buns."

[Ivan laughs]

Hmm, yeah let's not share that today.

Oh, you sure?

Retelling it it's actually kinda funny.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Jenna.

Dave.

[kiss]

You made it.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Jen, this is Julianne.

Nice to meet you, Janna.

How do you know the happy couple?

Actually Dave and I dated in high school.

Yeah.

I touched Julianne's breast so I guess we're even.

Any who, I better change into something

fabulous before more of your guests arrive

so be back in a jiff.

Bye.

Okay.

[door opening]

Brent?

One sec.

[ripping]

[scoffs]

Great.

Brent.

Hello, Julianne.

Obviously you're on your way out.

Just wanted to give this to you.

Okay. Thanks.

Do you wanna come in?

Sure.

Freakin handed in his final chapters.

Frank Galvin loved them.

He's so impressed that he's sending me to Sydney

to work with this new Aboriginal voice we just signed.

Like Sydney, Australia?

I leave tomorrow for a month.

Wow.

Open it.

Oh.

Hmm.

Oh.

A dove is a universally recognized symbol for peace.

So that's what this is,

this is a peace offering?

In crystal.

Well, thanks.

I guess I should let you go wherever you're going.

Oh, this.

I'm actually not going anywhere.

It's just the zipper on my blouse split

and I'm supposed to be giving a speech in 10 minutes.

I was a model,

I'm used to wardrobe malfunctions.

You modeled underwear.

Show me the damage.

Come on.

Okay. [sighs]

[light suspenseful music]

Um.

Well,

I need you to hold very still, okay?

Relax.

[light suspenseful music]

[click]

[click]

[click]

[click]

There.

Crisis adverted.

Oh, wow.

Thank you.

Fits like a glove.

Well, I guess I should let you get to it.

Well have a great time in Australia.

Thank you.

Julianne,

the dove isn't just lip service.

I really do wanna make amends.

Maybe when I get back we could do lunch?

I miss you.

Have a great trip, Brent.

[door closing]

[sighs]

Rome and Juliet,

Bogie and Bacall,

Brad and Angelina,

Dave and Ivan.

[guests chuckle]

What do these couples have in common?

True love.

[guests sigh]

What Dave and Ivan have taught me,

besides the fact that gays come in all shapes and sizes,

[guests laugh]

is that love does too.

To Dave and Ivan.

[guests cheer]

[glasses clinking]

[kiss]

Okay.

Now enough talking,

it's time to celebrate and karaoke starts in 15 minutes

so warm up those voices and have fun.

[guests cheer and chat]

Oh, beautiful speech.

[clinking]

Oh, thank you.

Now dish.

You had a guy over last night.

As your best friend I demand details.

And as your partner I second that.

Who was he?

[clears throat] Adam.

Adam?

The Irish lothario?

Well, you know things sort of worked out unexpectedly.

I thought you said he was with someone else?

He changed his mind and I know that sounds bad,

but you just have to trust me,

I know what I'm doing.

And we're taking things slowly.

He slept over.

How's that taking things slowly?

We slept side by side,

all night,

fully clothed and nothing happened.

How's that for slow?

Well I stand corrected,

that is slow.

I mean that's slower than slow.

That is just--

Weird.

What are you gonna do the next time you see each other?

Hold hands?

Maybe.

Well today is just turning out to be full of surprises.

What does that mean?

Wow.

It's really something.

Well yes, Brent's always had fabulous taste.

But you gotta question the motive.

You don't think he's sincere?

I mean he's asking me to forgive him,

but how can I trust him after everything?

I don't even know what happened.

I don't know why he went so crazy.

Have you asked him?

Yes, he just switches the subject.

Hmm.

What are you thinking?

Well I think that if you wanna know the truth,

then you have to be ready to hear things

that you may not wanna hear.

Like what?

Do you know something?

No, but it seems pretty clear, doesn't it?

Why won't he tell you?

Why does he change the subject when you bring it up?

It's obvious that there's something

that he doesn't want you to know

and if you push,

you have to be ready to hear it.

Whatever it is.

[sighs] Oh, that's kinda scary.

I know.

Aw.

Hmm.

Hmm?

Who needs a shrink when I've got you?

[cheering]

Erica, you've gotta come hear this.

♪ Well I can only see you for a little while today ♪

Oh my.

♪ And when your time is up I will say ♪

♪ That our love will show us some way ♪

♪ We belong together

Would you ever believe this?

Not in a million years.

They're really cute with their clothes on.

[laughing]

Yeah, they really are.

You know what this means, Sam?

What?

You, me, up there, singing Islands in the Stream.

-No, no, no, no. -Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna go sign us up and you can't stop me.

Lenin. [laughs]

Lenin asked me to move in.

Really?

And I said yes.

[squealing]

Erica, I have never liked anyone like this before.

Anyone.

Sammy, I'm so happy for you.

Yeah?

And you think he's good?

I mean for me.

Considering I was so spectacularly wrong about Josh.

[exhales] I want your honest opinion.

Sam, I think he's great.

Yeah.

[squealing]

♪ Our love will show us some way we belong ♪

And then after brunch,

Dave got up on stage and he performed

this little love poem to Ivan.

Tre le.

Was it any good?

Well it made Julianne cry.

And you?

No, I didn't cry.

I was too busy smiling my face off.

It's like today has been the perfect day.

Over and over and over again

surrounded by all these people that I love.

Everything, it just feels right,

with work and with my family.

And you.

Don't jinx it.

I can't help it.

You know this therapy thing?

Everyone should do it.

[glasses clink]

You know therapy's amazing,

but sometimes I'm surprised I made it this far.

That last session was one of the hardest

I have ever had to go through and...

What?

The fact that you where there for me,

waiting at the other side,

it helped me.

More than you know.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

You'd make a great doctor.

And what about you?

Me? Nah.

Too hot headed,

I don't have the patience.

You can work on that.

What you do have, Adam,

is passion.

You're brave and you say it like it is.

And you always care.

Even when I'm being a bully.

Even then.

Especially then.

[light romantic music]

Erica.

[kissing]

♪ Dreaming

♪ I'm always dreaming

♪ It's a way to keep on going when times are slow ♪

♪ So I am dreaming

♪ Keep on dreaming

♪ There's no limit to how far a mind can go ♪

♪ In our dreams we can do whatever we want ♪

♪ Whatever we want

♪ Whatever we want

♪ Whatever we want to do

♪ In our dreams we can do whatever we want ♪

♪ Whatever we want

♪ Whatever we want

♪ Whatever we want to do

♪ So dreaming

♪ I'm always dreaming

♪ We've forgotten the reason why we came at all ♪

♪ So I am dreaming

♪ I'm still dreaming

♪ When you've fallen down and have nothing at all ♪

[soft music]

[beeping]

Adam?

[beeping]

[Female] Dr. Maron to radiology please.

[door opening]

[Female] Dr. Maron to radiology.

Ms. Strange.

What?

Where am I?

Don't try to move, okay.

Ow. [groans]

Easy, easy.

Just relax.

Why am I in the hospital?

The ambulance brought you here.

What?

You where in a coffee shop.

Do you remember?

You went into anaphylactic shock.

You fell and you hit your head.

You lost consciousness.

Why have you sent me back here?

Sent you back?

No Ms. Strange,

you don't understand.

You've been in a coma for two weeks.

[dramatic music]

Wait a minute.

Your parents are on their way,

they're gonna be here in a few minutes.

Just hold on a second.

What is this?

Listen, it can be very disorienting

when you first regain consciousness.

What are you talking about?

Oh my god, Erica.

Can I hug her?

Absolutely.

Oh you're awake, my darling.

Thank god.

No, no, I'm sorry.

I'm not doing this, okay Dr. Tom.

Nurse?

We need a nurse in here.

No, no.

Help.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Julianne?

Okay, it's okay.

You're a little confused.

Let's get a chair.

I'm gonna help you get up.

What is this?

I can get up on my own.

Honey, just let them help you.

You've been through a lot.

I'm fine.

[crashing]

[gasping]

All right, okay.

[Barbara] Are you okay, sweetie?

[Nurse] You haven't moved your muscles for two weeks

so you're very weak.

Please, just let me help you.

[Doctor] Let's watch her lines.

[Nurse] Okay, there you go.

[Female] Dr. Engelmann to orthopedics please.

Hey, look who's awake.

[Erica] Dave?

Feeling better?

[Gary] Dr. Wexler, she seems so confused and panicked

and I think she was saying--

Well you know, she took a bad fall

and even though the swelling her brain has subsided,

she may be conflating her dreams with reality.

[Barbara] But she's still all right, isn't she?

They'll run more tests at the rehab,

but the most important thing right now

is that she needs to rest.

She needs to be around people and places that are familiar.

That'll help to ground her.

Okay, thank you very much doctor.

You're very welcome.

You take care, Erica.

[elevator dings]

Thank you.

[Erica] Dr. Tom?

Just go slow, honey.

Look, I can walk.

You thought you could walk in the hospital.

I'm not gonna fall,

just let go.

Thank you.

Would you like to take a nice hot shower?

I can make you some lunch if you're hungry?

Okay.

[light mysterious music]

You have got to be kidding me.

[Barbara] I am worried sick about her.

It's the confusion.

She talks about time traveling.

It's frightening.

Time traveling,

the doctor, the therapist.

Mom?

[gasps] Yeah?

Is this really all you could find me to wear?

I mean. [chuckles]

[sighs] Honey, look who came by to see you.

Erica, oh my god.

How are you feeling?

I'm um--

I've asked your doctor to forward me

all of your test results.

And you're gonna be with the best rehab specialist,

he's actually a personal friend of mine so--

Sam.

Too much?

I'm sorry.

Two weeks is a long time to be in a coma, Erica.

Can I have a turn?

It's really, really good to see.

So would everyone like something to eat?

I'll have a bagel minus the lox,

salmon gives me heartburn.

[clears throat] Josh.

Oh, and welcome back, sleeping beauty.

It's in Forest Hill and I wouldn't

exactly call it little.

[Josh smirks]

It's brand new.

Mom, who cares about the house?

I wanna hear about Erica.

She was out cold for two weeks, Sam.

It's not like she's got a lot of stories to tell.

[clinking]

Ouch.

Actually it was very interesting when she first woke up.

She had lots of stories to tell.

She thought her real doctor, Dr. Wexler,

was her therapist.

Do you remember that, honey?

How you thought he could send you back in time?

He could.

[light jazz music]

But I just imagined it, right?

I mean isn't that what you're all hoping I believe?

Erica, come on.

Just sit down.

When you've been in a coma--

You know what,

just don't, okay?

Because I know what you're all thinking.

That there is something wrong with me.

[sniffs] Why is this happening?

Okay.

Okay.

This isn't real.

This isn't real,

this isn't real.

Hey Dr. Tom,

what are you trying to teach me, huh?

[Barbara] This was a bad idea.

The doctor said it would be good for her

to be around familiar faces.

Which is true,

but I think maybe we overdid it.

Erica's brain has suffered a trauma

and trying to rush her back to normal--

It's not gonna work.

I have to check on her.

I'll come with you.

How am I supposed to know what to do?

Jeez.

[suspenseful music]

[knocking]

[Barbara] Erica, are you okay?

Erica, open the door.

We're sorry.

We just wanna talk to you.

I don't feel like talking.

[Barbara] Come on, sweetheart.

Just let us in.

[Sam] Erica, it's gonna be fine.

[knocking]

[Barbara] Erica, open the door now.

♪ Sometimes I still catch myself ♪

♪ Going back in time

♪ All the light that I had inside ♪

♪ How I was so blind

[rustling]

Ow.

[ding]

Are you trying to make me think that I'm insane?

Erica, did you come here by yourself?

'cause if you're trying to drive me crazy,

well it's working.

I see that you're a little upset,

so why don't we sit down and we can talk about it.

I don't want to have a seat,

I wanna know why you're doing this.

Could you pull Erica Strange's file please.

Get her parents number and call them right away.

You are my therapist,

you are not my doctor and we have spent two years together.

And this,

you doing this to me,

it's really unfair.

And I really don't care what you're trying

to teach me right now,

I just want you to stop, okay?

And just admit you know me.

Just take a breath, all right?

It's okay.

Please, Dr. Tom.

It's okay, all right?

[Erica] Dr. Tom, please.

Call a code white.

What is a code white.

We're just gonna call your parents

and we're gonna figure this out, okay?

Why are you torturing me?

We'll need a five and two, please.

Just calm down.

Take it easy, okay?

I want my life back, Dr. Tom.

You give me my life back.

Calm down. Calm down.

Get the hell off of me.

[thud]

Stop it.

[Doctor] Watch her arm.

Just take it easy.

You got it?

Watch her now.

Get off. No.

[dramatic music]

[light mysterious music]

Hello, Erica.

I'm Dr. Rodriguez.

Dr. Wexler sent me to talk to you.

Can you tell me why you're here?

Well, I'm here because everyone

seems to think that I have been in a coma for two weeks.

And what do you think?

Well, I don't really think that it matters what I think,

because you're not gonna believe me.

I can't promise I'll agree with your version of events,

but I'd like to try and understand.

I'd like to help you.

I think that my whole life has been erased somehow.

Like I've been dropped into a nightmare

and I really wish that I could just wake up.

You have a sense that you've been living a different life?

No, it's not a sense.

I know.

I have a company,

I am in a relationship,

my life,

my life is not this.

So how do you explain this then?

That night,

the night that I fell,

I woke up in the hospital and Dr. Tom was there.

And he said that he could help me fix my life.

And he started sending me back in time to fix my regrets.

[sighs]

So this Dr. Tom--

I know how it sounds.

You're convinced that he's also

your neurologist, Dr. Wexler?

No, he's not a neurologist at all.

No?

Dr. Wexler works here, Erica.

Fine, but he's pretending to

to teach me a lesson

or else something got messed up.

[laughs hysterically]

Oh god, this is coming out all wrong.

Erica, I'd like you to consider an alternative.

A possibility that there's another explanation.

You were in a coma.

You were minimally conscious and you saw

and heard things that you built into a fantasy.

A fantasy that feels real--

No no. I--

Just hear me out.

I wonder if this other life you lived

is a kind of dream.

A very vivid dream.

You recognize your doctor,

because he was in and out of your room.

Dr. Rodgriguez,

what you're saying,

it makes sense.

But just because you sound right,

doesn't mean that you are.

I understand why you want it to be real, Erica.

I do.

It sounds amazing,

but if you persist in holding onto

the utopia you built for yourself,

you run the risk of losing touch with what is actually real.

I don't want you to be right.

You think I might be right?

Do you think it's possible?

[light music]

[Gary] She just needs a few days rest,

then reevaluate.

[Barbara] Gary, she jumped out the window.

So you wanna commit her?

Commit our daughter.

I don't wanna commit her,

but Dr. Wexler said that maybe--

Dr. Wexler also said Erica could come home

and look how that ended up.

So why are you listening to him?

How could you make me feel guilty about this?

[Gary] Don't try to turn this

into a fight about us, Barbara.

[Barbara] I'm not.

I'm worried about her and at least

as an in-patient she'll be safe.

[Gary] You know something.

It seems to be your rules than what is best for her.

♪ When you don't know which road you should follow ♪

♪ What comes next or what door you should open ♪

♪ Oh when you're feeling down

♪ You're over it

♪ Exposing your guarded state

♪ Just when you think that it's hopeless ♪

♪ You gotta stay focused and let your heart get healed ♪

♪ Oh if I knew what I knew now

♪ Would I make the same decisions ♪

♪ I wanna love

♪ I wanna die with my name

♪ Between us

[instrumental music]

Erica?

Hey.

Leo?

Why are you here?

I'm here because you want me to be here.

So you're,

your just in me head?

You're like a ghost,

like a hallucination?

Something like that.

Okay.

So wow.

I guess I really am insane.

[laughs] It's my turn to ask a question.

Why are you here?

I woke up yesterday morning to find out

that my whole life is gone, Leo.

Worse than gone,

it was like it didn't exist.

It was a dream.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Well, [sighs]

you always have a choice.

Isn't that what therapy taught you?

You know about therapy?

I know everything you know,

because well I am you.

You're standing on a bridge talking to yourself

trying to figure out how to escape

this nightmare you feel you're trapped in.

And you're considering your options.

Actually I'm just trying to clear my head.

Figure out what's real, what isn't.

It's pretty obvious what's real.

This life.

The one where you're single,

unemployed and in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

The one you have to go back to, really.

Your entire life,

everything you worked for,

it was all a fantasy.

What are you saying?

What do you think I should do?

It doesn't matter what I think, Erica.

It's what you think.

You know that friend you have,

the one that seems to have it all figured out,

she's got the great job,

the great guy,

great life?

Well, you're not that girl.

That's what you keep telling yourself.

That is what you fear is true.

You're afraid that you made us this other you,

this better you,

now all you're left with is this.

What if this is all you are, Erica?

All you'll ever be?

And you're asking yourself,

what's the point?

Dr. Tom would say--

There is no Dr. Tom.

Dr. Tom would said in the middle

of difficulty lies opportunity.

Even if it's not real.

Even if everyting that I've experienced wasn't real,

I've been changed by it.

And that's real.

Erica.

I remember it all, Leo.

Every last thing,

good and bad.

Every victory,

every defeat,

and I can't just throw it away.

I can't throw my life away.

I would rather live and try and fail

than give up.

Goodbye, Erica.

[dramatic music]

[light music]

Erica.

Dr. Tom.

What is happening?

You passed, Erica.

Welcome to doctor training.

That was a test?

It was.

That's it?

That's all I get?

You passed the test?

Nothing about how you basically just tortured me?

[Dr. Tom] It was necessary.

Why?

Not everyone is meant to become a doctor, Erica.

This is the way that it gets determined.

It is a trial,

it's not meant to be easy.

No, it's cruel and it's vicious actually.

It's inelegant, perhaps,

but that's the way it's done.

That's the way that it's always been done.

[scoffs]

Okay, so what about the others?

What about Camilla?

Adam?

Deryl?

Rebecca?

[Dr. TTom] They took the test as well.

And?

And now that you have passed,

you get to move on.

To give back.

To help in the same way that you yourself were helped.

What if I failed?

Each phase builds on the last, Erica.

You cannot enter group until you're ready

and the same is true for doctor training.

And that's why we do the test

so that we can be sure that you have a solid foundation.

And you proved back there that you do,

because you were able to hold onto yourself

when everyting else was ripped away from you.

[light music]

You earned this.

Well done.

[bright music]

I'm gonna become a doctor,

Dr. Erica.

You are indeed.

What about the rest of my life?

There will be plenty of time to sort out those details.

But for now,

what you need to worry about is your office.

My office?

Yes, every doctor needs one.

[mysterious music]

This Erica, is your canvas.

You get to make this office whatever you want it to be.

Okay, so you guys just give me

a charge card for Home Depot?

It's not quite as pedestrian as that.

Clear your head and let whatever comes to mind speak to you.

Okay, but if--

But not out loud.

Just think.

Concentrate.

[thud]

Oh my god.

[crunching]

Honeycrisp. Tasty.

This is amazing.

So I can just like make whatever I want to?

Whatever you want.

Have fun.

Experiment.

Enjoy.

[squeals]

Dr. Tom,

how exactly do I leave here when I'm done?

Decide where you wanna go,

walk through the door

and you'll find yourself there.

Wherever I want?

Like Bangkok?

Baby steps, Erica. [chewing]

[bright music]

Where to begin?

Wow.

[bright music]

[tapping]

[bright music]

[light music]

Adam?

Oh my god, that test?

Can you believe it?

I came this close to failing,

but I passed.

I didn't, Erica.

What?

I'm not gonna be a doctor.

[Erica] What do you mean you didn't pass?

What happened?

I blew it.

How?

[sighs] I ended up agreeing to

go back to work for Hastings.

You failed because of that?

I failed because I couldn't withstand the pressure,

I buckled.

I turned my back on everything that I learned.

And I did some terrible things again, Erica.

Awful things.

I don't know what to say.

Why am I so weak?

Adam,

you're not weak.

I'm sorry.

Look, I'm wrecking this for you.

You should be celebrating.

No, I don't feel like celebrating.

Just I feel awful.

Don't, don't feel awful.

You deserve this.

[sighs]

You passing,

you becoming a doctor,

is right.

Adam.

It is.

I mean it.

And even though I feel like shit,

I'm glad that some lucky person

is gonna have you as a therapist.

I'm really, really proud of you.

[light music]

[bright music]

[door opening]

Nice chair.

Thank you.

You talk to Adam?

Yeah.

He's upset.

And I'm upset for him.

What about Derly and Rebecca and Camilla?

Did they pass?

Camilla did, yes.

The other two, no.

Wow, you guys are tough.

We have to be.

You'll understand that soon enough.

What's this?

Your card.

My card?

Wait?

Why do I need a card?

Because Erica, it's time to meet your fist patient.

My first patient?

But this is training,

I'm not ready.

[swoosh]

They say the journey of life is like a trek up a mountain.

We're all climbing to the top

and what will finally get there is anybody's guess.

[light music]