Original subtitles

My new therapist?

[STAMMERS] What are you talking about?

Erica, if you'll just sit down.

-I understand that you've been through a lot. -No, you don't.

Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't want to sit.

You are not my doctor and this isn't...

This is not happening like this.

You know what? I need to speak with Dr Tom.

-You can't. -Why not?

Where is he?

At the beginning of your therapy, Dr Tom told you

that this was about you, Erica, and no one else.

But Dr Tom also said that we made a commitment.

-Well, yes, but... -We made a commitment together.

No, Erica. You made a commitment.

And I'm here to help you honour it.

You're not done with your list or your therapy.

Are you punishing him because he lost his temper?

-No. -Because that was my fault too.

I broke my promise and it wasn't just him,

he had a reason to be upset.

-No one is punishing him. -Then why can't I see him?

He's the one who decided to quit.

You can't see him because he doesn't want to see you.

[EXHALING HEAVILY]

-What are you doing here? You can't just follow me here. -Erica...

My boyfriend is sleeping right behind that door.

-This conversation isn't over. -Yes, it is.

Look, I'm sorry, I'm sure that you are very qualified,

but this has nothing to do with you.

I made a commitment to Dr Tom.

So guess what? If he quits, so do I.

I'll give you some time.

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

# It's clearer inside of me

# Who I will always be

# Open me up to my heart

# Feels like I'm singing in the dark

# Waking me up to my life

# To do it all over

# Again and again

# Back to the end

# The sum of my dreams

# And everything I ever wanted to be #

ERICA: How do you know when you're done?

When it's time to move on?

Sometimes the decision is impulsive.

Other times you think it through.

But no matter how we decide we're ready,

the truth remains that the past is a hard thing to let go of.

-Hey, do you have plans for dinner? -No why?

Well, I made us a reservation at Monsoon.

Wow, really?

-Why so fancy? -I don't know, I'm just happy.

Plus you deserve it, you've been through a lot over the past few days.

Yeah, well...

Sorry. Oh, man. I'm so sorry.

It's fine. I mean, at least it's on the sidewalk and not on my clothes.

There's a great coffee place right over there.

And there's enough for your friend too.

Thank you.

-Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine.

Can I get two small lattes, please?

Sure thing.

[SIGHS]

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. I just...

I spilled my coffee all over King Street,

some guy bumped into me but...

Okay, what's bothering you?

Nothing's bothering me, I'm good.

Well, you've been kind of on the edge all morning.

Oh, I'm just, you know...

I'm just nervous for work. Julianne, she's announcing our new book titles

and I don't what I'm going to get.

Well, I'm sure you're going to get something great.

-Julianne loves you. -[SCOFFS]

Well, loves you now that you're junior editor. Maybe not so much at first.

There you go. Two lattes, on the house.

Don't let anyone else bump into you, okay?

-Thank you. -Yeah, thanks.

He's nice.

-Hi, Brent. -Hi.

I'm just going to the washroom. I'll be right back.

-Brent, what are you doing? -I have information.

That's very exciting but can it wait? Because I got to get in the...

I hacked into Julianne's computer.

-Oh, you didn't. -I did.

I saw the list of new books. Now, what's your bladder saying to you?

Oh, it's saying it can wait. So tell me, tell me!

Okay. Four new books.

-Origami and The Inner Child.[SIGHS] -What?

Scrappy Scrap-booking, Past Lies, Future Living and, wait for it,

an as yet untitled sex book.

-A sex book? -It's out there.

I know, my jaw hit the floor, literally.

Tie me up, tie me down, River Rock is invading the bedrooms of the nation.

It's shocking.

It's revolutionary.

It's making me all tingly, in a good way.

Oh, God, Brent, I'm sure you're going to get it.

-I have seniority. -And Julianne loves you.

And I have seniority.

Plus, I just feel like I was born to edit this book, you know?

I mean, Dory does pet titles, you're Miss Touchy-Feely

and I am a master of the libido. It just fits you know?

-Totally. -Psst!

You guys are five minutes late for the meeting!

Sorry, Julianne.

We were using the little girls' room, lost track of time.

You know how it is once Erica starts talking.

Secret of Now, secret number, ooh, 89.

-Always be on time. -[GASPS]

Okay, Brent, sit. ASAP.

Now that we are finally all here,

I would like to extend a warm welcome to River Rock's very own wunderkind,

Thomas Friedken.

-Thomas Friedken, author of... -Boo-yah!

The Secret Of Now and our next best-seller, wait for it, chickens...

The Mystery Of Tomorrow.

[GASPS]

And Friedken has also graciously agreed to come aboard

and bring his self help Midas touch to some of our other projects this quarter.

I come not to bury Caesar, but to praise him.

I'm just here to sprinkle the star dust.

No reason to get your knickers in a knot.

I said knickers.

There's even more. River Rockiens, brace yourselves

because we are "stepping outside the box"

and traipsing down a very different road this year.

Believe it or not, our biggest title is going to be...

-A sex book. -Oh.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

We are going to shake up the sex help industry

with a revolutionary guide to "Gettin' All Jiggy With It".

And the lucky editor who will be leading us through this sexual revolution:

Erica Strange.

Me?

Stahl's book has been put to bed in record time

and a lot of that credit goes to you.

Oh, and with the first few chapters of The None being so very impressive,

Galvin and I concluded that you, you deserve this shot.

-I, um... Thank you. -You're welcome.

Moving on. Brent, you'll be spear heading Origami and the Inner Child.

Dory, um, we'd like you to come back with something on show dogs.

Excuse me. Hey, Brent, wait up.

One mile of power walking burns about 120 calories.

Look, back there, what just happened...

It's fine, Erica, this is a business.

And we're friends. And I feel awful.

Look, you're only as good as your last book.

My last book went straight to the bargain bins, yours didn't.

I'm a big boy. I can deal, okay?

Now, little Brent is screaming to be relieved, so...

-Yeah, of course, go. -Wow! Congratulations.

[ERICA MUMBLING]

I'm not going to change my mind.

She quit.

-She wants you, or she's done. -Well, that's just an initial reaction.

She'll come around.

-And if she doesn't? -And if she doesn't, she doesn't.

That's her choice.

I've made mine.

-This is the Tom I remember. -Exactly.

I'm not cut out to be her...doctor.

-Or anybody's doctor. -But that's not how your patient sees it.

I grabbed her, Naadiah.

I mean, I got so angry, I could feel it. It was just like before.

I mean, I couldn't think straight.

I couldn't stop myself even though I know that...

She needs someone else.

Someone who's more together.

-Like me? -Yeah, like you.

-So, why does it feel like you're running away? -Well, I'm not.

I've thought this through. This is the right choice.

For Erica.

"Fear is the mind-killer." Frank Herbert.

-Oh, don't. -Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?

I still, I can't believe it. Brent, he has the seniority, he has the experience.

I just... [GROANS]

-I feel terrible. -No, no feeling terrible.

You are not allowed to feel guilty.

Tonight is all about how great things are.

You're right.

God, so much has changed in the last six months.

I just... I feel a million miles away

from where I was when you first moved here.

To your new project.

To a fresh start.

To leaving the past behind, to looking ahead.

[PHONE RINGING]

Oh, God, sorry. I'll totally turn that thing off.

Who's Dr Naadiah?

Um, that's nobody.

It's just...just work. What are you going to have?

I was thinking of the risotto.

-Miss, are you Erica Strange? -Yes.

I have a Dr Naadiah on the phone for you.

Go ahead, if she's calling you here.

Excuse me. I'm just going to take care of this.

Okay? Sorry.

-Hello? -Sorry about the interruption, but we need to talk.

There is nothing to talk about. I told you I qui...

...it!

I'm concerned that you're making an impulsive decision.

-You don't know me, at all. -I'm just asking you to think it through.

-Is this really what you want? -[SIGHS]

Yes.

I've changed a lot in the last six months.

I'm in a relationship with a man that I love.

And my family, we're closer than we've ever been.

-My career is taking off. -It's wonderful.

I'm in different place than I was when I started therapy.

And honestly, it feels like I'm done.

So this has nothing to do with Dr Tom quitting?

I thought that you couldn't talk about him.

-Erica... -I'm done.

Why do I have to keep answering these questions?

You don't.

If you really feel like you want to quit, then you're free to go.

Good.

Once you've paid your debt.

I'm sorry?

You heard me. It's time to settle our accounts.

Right now.

-[PEOPLE CHEERING] -[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Dance!

I'm thirsty, come on!

Dance!

-I caught one! -You gotta be kidding me.

Sorry.

All right, who's thirsty? Come on! Whoo!

Hey, hey!

I don't get it, Red. What the hell was that?

You're one of our best dancers.

[STAMMERING] Lulu, I'm sorry, I mean, I'm sorry, I just...

You know how many girls come up here every day who want to shake their thing?

I should fire your ass.

No, Lulu, please, I really, really need this job, okay?

-And I'm sorry, I'm just... -You're just what?

I'm feeling a little off tonight, okay? I'm just a little bit upset.

Okay, Strange, get a grip, please.

Just, Lu-meister understands having an off night just...

They come here to see you dance, all right, sweetie?

Not break your pretty neck.

-You get it? -Got it.

Good. Now go make the rounds.

Go. Just tighten the top a little bit.

[SIGHS]

-Thank you, Red. -I want to kill you!

And add another regret to your list? It's pretty long already.

[STAMMERING] What am I doing here?

I don't even know what year it is!

-1998. Summer. -Great! That's good.

Dr Naadiah, I told you that I quit, I am done.

No, Erica, you are not done.

And did you really think that's all there was to this?

That for everything you've been given,

you wouldn't have to give something back?

Okay, fine. What do I have to do?

You were helped. Now you have to help someone else in return.

-Who am I supposed to help? -Who indeed.

Girls.

ERICA: Are you sure you want a Harvey Wallbanger?

Really? You couldn't just have, like, I don't know, a beer?

Great.

If I remember correctly, I need some vodka,

some orange juice.

And is it Galliano or...

Hello?

There you go.

One Harvey Wallbanger on the house.

Hey, Lulu, that customer that you just served, did he say anything?

Anything like what?

Like anything. Like did he ask about me?

Or did he tell you something that I should know?

No, unless you need to know that he drinks really expensive Scotch.

You hit your head? You're acting like you hit your head.

No.

Yeah, take a break. It's cool.

Sorry.

Dr Tom?

-Hi. -Hey.

Look, I'm glad I found you.

I know that you said that you didn't want to see me but Dr Tom...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh...

My name's Tom, I'm not a doctor.

What's that supposed to be? Some kind of flattering honourific?

Like "chief"? Or "sir"?

Gee, I kind of like Chief Tom. That's got a ring to it.

Why, yes. I would love another drink.

Miss, uh, sorry... You have to help me out.

You're not wearing you little name tag there.

[STAMMERS]

Erica Strange.

-Interesting surname. -Thank you.

So, Tom, is that all you go by? Just Tom, like Cher?

Why don't you go and order me that other Highland neat?

Oh, Jesus.

Please, really, I'm flattered

but, you know, if you're looking for a daddy-type or...

Oh, God! No! No, no, no. I'm just...

No, I'm just providing superior customer service.

Okay. Well, good.

'Cause you're barely older than my daughter.

You have a daughter?

That's interesting because... Why?

Just because we might know each other if we're the same age.

What's her name?

I would really like that drink, Erica.

Sure. Sure.

-Sorry if I was prying. -You were prying.

Usually, customers, they want to talk.

Oh, yeah, I figured they came here for the view.

Well, there is always that.

Shaking everything God gave you for...for what?

-Some tips, I guess. -For tips, for Grad school.

Ah, well, beauty and brains.

You're the complete package then, are you?

Yep! With my Masters in English,

I will be the most well-read customer service rep you will ever meet.

"And I seldom end up where I wanted to go

"but I almost always end up where I need to be."

Douglas Adams.

Show time, Red!

Well, I'm going to go strut my stuff.

But I'll be back, so don't go anywhere, okay?

-Promise? -As long as you promise to bring me the Scotch.

-How about a coffee? -How about I move my party next door?

I'll make it a double, just stay, please.

-Hey, Erica Strange? -Yes?

It's Wexlar.

That's the last name, Wexlar.

[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]

-Who's thirsty, huh? -[CROWD CHEERING]

-Oh, she's back. -I am.

-And I'm on my break. -Lucky me.

So you have me for a full 15 minutes, uninterrupted, Doctor...

Sir, Chief, Tom... Just Tom.

-[CLEARING THROAT] -Cheers!

So, does your wife mind you spending all night alone in a bar?

-Do I look married? -I just assumed 'cause you have a daughter that...

Don't have to have a wife, to have a daughter.

That's not really answering my question.

My daughter has a mother.

-Just leave it at that. -Yeah.

Now maybe you take a little time in the hot seat, how 'bout that?

Sure.

Ask me anything you want to.

Your parents mind you working at a bar like this?

It's not like I'm stripping.

Listen, you say you need the money and that's...that's okay.

But you could make money in a million other ways.

I wouldn't let you work here.

Well, then, I guess it's a good thing that you're not my dad.

I'm just saying that there are other ways...

A million other ways that you could make money

that don't involve teasing horny frat-boys.

Well, you're here, so, what does that say about you?

-Take this, all right? -Whoa.

It's for the drinks and your, uh, "tip".

-Tom. -No, please, really. And you know what?

Quit this job, Erica. Find yourself another job.

There's a million other things you could do. Please, okay? Take it.

-I can't. That's a lot of money. -Yeah, you can. You can.

You need it more than I do.

-Hey, nice dance. -Oh, thank you.

So, uh, what are you doing after your shift?

You know, I already have plans and they involve a lot of sleep.

Well, I like to sleep.

So, uh, what do you say?

I think she said she's not interested, that was pretty clear to me.

Dude, chill, nobody's trying to cock-block you.

-Hey... -I'm sorry? What did you say?

Look, Dr Tom. It's fine, really...

Listen, unlike you, I don't need to pay for a little something-something.

Hey.

You thing that's funny? Talking to a woman like she's a piece of meat?

All right, back off, man.

What's the matter, son? Your father not teach you how to respect women?

-Hey! Hey! -I can't hit an old man.

Oh, well, good for you.

Hey! Tom!

Stop it! Tom!

Stop it!

Let go of me!

-Get off of me! -Let go of him!

Oh, my God!

Stay away! Go back in there, and leave me alone!

Oh, my God. Julianne?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Girls, take my winnings and go get us another round.

Well, I found him, the guy...the guy I'm supposed to help.

And?

I don't know how to help him, I don't have the training.

I am not a therapist.

And by therapist, I mean a real therapist.

But somebody does help him because Dr Tom...

He's not like that in the present.

Or maybe he is, I don't know. I mean...

I swear, he enjoyed hurting that guy, just now.

I could see it in his eyes, 'cause it's the same way he looked at me when he...

You know.

-Erica... -Look, I can't help him.

I don't even know how to begin to help him.

You haven't tried very hard.

Do you think Dr Tom always knew exactly how to help you?

Like I said, I am not a therapist.

No. But you are resourceful.

You'll think of something.

-You had no right. -I'm sorry.

-You and I both know that this is not... -Let me finish.

You walked away from your responsibilities to Erica.

Her therapy is no longer your call and it is definitely not your business.

You have taken her into my past.

I think that makes it my business.

-What do you care? -What do I care?

You said you were done. Why do you care what Erica knows or doesn't know?

Why are you paying any attention to her at all?

[GROANS] Hurry up.

Look, it's really important that I speak with him.

If you leave a note, I'll try to forward it, that's the best I can do.

Excuse me. I was wondering if you could help me.

-I'm looking for Tom Wexlar? -And you are?

I'm a friend of his... Of his daughter's.

-Of Sarah's? -Yeah.

Do you know where she is?

You know, it's been a while since we've hung out.

Well, you tell her that she should be ashamed of herself.

Yeah, listen... I'm just looking for her dad.

-Why? -Because...

-Because why? -Ah, it's a long story.

Oh, yes, I'm sure it is.

And I wouldn't be surprised if at the end of it,

you show up with your hand out.

What? No!

Listen, I think you should get going.

I'm serious.

[SIGHING] Dr Naadiah, before you say anything, I have tried.

And I can't find him, so if I can't find him,

then I can't help him.

I don't know anything about him.

That's not true.

You know him a lot more then you did even a day ago.

He has anger management problems.

-What else? -[SIGHS]

His last name is Wexlar. He has a daughter named Sarah...

...who should be ashamed of herself, apparently.

He was fired from his job, one that presumably paid really well and...

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

He's like me.

How do you mean?

That first day when he found me, my life was a disaster.

But that man that I met in the bar last night, he's... He's hit rock bottom.

Dr Tom was a patient too, wasn't he?

Come with me.

-Where are we going? -To see Tom.

He's over there.

If you could take me to him

what was the point of me running around this city looking for him?

Context.

Context for what?

For what you are about to see.

Oh, Jesus!

Erica, stop!

I want you to stop.

Uh...

-Dr Tom... -This is not your problem.

Naadiah is my therapist now and she seems to think it is.

Please, just leave it alone. I don't want you to talk to him.

I have told you everything about me.

Exposed myself in ways...

I don't get it.

I don't get how you, the Dr Tom that I know, could ever be him.

And I don't care.

My purpose here is to help that man

that looks like he's about to throw himself off this building.

You can't help him.

Maybe. But I'm going to try.

Tom?

What are you... How did you get up here?

-How did you find me? -That doesn't matter.

Yes, it does!

What the hell is going on here? Who are you?

Just think of me as... As a guardian angel-type.

Yeah?

Where you've been? [CHUCKLING HUMOURLESSLY]

Huh?

Well, where the hell have you been? The last couple of years.

[STAMMERING] Why am I up here?

"In the middle of difficulty,

"lies opportunity."

-That's Albert Einstein. -Yeah.

That's a quote that I...

Who are you? Why did you say that?

Because it always reminds me

that there is a way out.

I don't think so.

Not for me.

I know what that's like. And that's...

That's sort of why I'm here.

Look...

Don't do it, please.

It's not going to make anything better.

I can't live like this any more.

I'm done.

If there's opportunity in the middle of this, I don't see it.

It's me.

I'm your opportunity.

Come on, let's go, okay?

Let's find a better way to fix whatever it is that's wrong.

ETHAN: Erica?

[SCREAMS] Dr Tom, no!

Hey, are you okay?

The doctor, what did she want?

She, uh... Nothing.

Well, how did she know you were here?

Um, maybe, I don't know, maybe Mary told her.

It's...totally nuts and I'm not answering my phone any more.

[KEYPAD CRUNCHING]

[SIGHS]

[ERICA READING]

What?

[SNIFFLES]

[SIGHS]

[DOOR CREAKING]

[SIGHS]

Hi.

Hi.

[EXHALES]

Did you want to sit or...

I saw you jump. You're supposed to be dead.

Yeah, well, it's a...

It's a little more complicated than that.

But that's not what I've brought you here to talk about.

I want...

I need to apologise, to you.

For the other day here.

For breaking your trust.

For uh...

Losing it, like I did.

-For hurting you. -It's okay.

No, it's not.

And as you know now, it's also uh...

Not the first time.

[SIGHS]

You see I thought that I was...

Done.

With all of that.

Obviously not.

And as a result, I decided that

it was not in your best interest

to continue to have me as a therapist.

What happened to you?

When I saw you back in 1998,

you were so different.

-So... -Angry.

Yeah, angry and...

Bitter, it's sad.

You're so different from who you were now.

Why?

[EXHALES]

[CAR HONKS]

Where are we? I mean I know where we are.

1996... I want to show you something.

That girl is my daughter.

Sarah.

Sarah.

When Sarah was young,

the two of us were inseparable.

But then things between her mother and I got complicated, and I...

I said things and I did things that I couldn't unsay.

And that I couldn't undo.

After a while Sarah stopped coming home.

But I always knew that I could find her here.

Oh my God, what are you doing here?

Come on down, I want to talk to you.

Well, I'm busy.

Sarah why won't you come home?

-I want you to come home... -I don't care what you want.

We had a fight this day.

No, I don't want you to have this life! -This makes me happy!

And it was one of many, but this day I said some things.

That I later regretted.

-Don't touch me! -You understand?

Forget it, Dad.

I'm never coming home!

You can't spend your days out on the streets.

-That's not a way to live. -Go away!

This was the last time that I saw my daughter.

I mean, I didn't know if she was dead or alive.

And I still don't.

And as the weeks went by, I just got...

I got angrier and angrier.

Until that I could feel... Nothing else.

And then one day I just decided that...

I was done.

Dr Tom, you don't have to explain yourself to me.

No, I do, Erica, because I need you to understand

that when you went back and you saved Leo's life...

You did the one thing that I wish that I would've done.

And so when you saved your brother's life...

It triggered something inside of me.

And all these old feelings

and these things that I thought that I was done with

just came rushing back.

And I couldn't control them, and I couldn't control myself.

And a therapist can't act like that.

That's why Dr Naadiah will be a better fit for you.

[SIGHS]

This therapy, it has been the craziest, most intense experience that I've ever had.

-But you don't let me run away. -You made a commitment.

And so did you.

You promised that you would help me.

And you did!

And everything that you just said,

it sounds like it makes sense.

But I still know that you quitting... It's not the right thing.

Erica, I'm not quitting.

I just want you to have the best therapist, that's all.

And that person is you!

I mean, so what if you're not perfect?

Is that really what this all comes down to?

You thought that you were done making mistakes

and being overwhelmed by the past and you need to quit?

You thought that you were done, but you were wrong.

I mean when is anyone ever really done anyway?

When they're dead maybe.

Or maybe not even then, and I ain't sure as hell am not done.

I have a list of regrets a mile-long.

But the one regret I don't have...

Dr Tom, is you.

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"

Buda's proverb.

What appears in this instance is that the teacher is you.

[SIGHS]

-So we're good then? -We're good.

[SIGHS IN RELIEF]

Okay, good. 'Cause to be honest...

Dr Naadiah's office is not the warmest place I've ever been in.

-I know. -I mean come on.

Even like a throw rug, or space heater would help.

-I'll mention it. -Thank you.

Thank you.

So what are you anyway?

Alive? Or dead?

An angel?

"For everything, there is a season and a time"

Ecclesiastes 31.

The time for the answer to that question, has not yet come.

Fair enough.

I'll see you around.

[SIGHS]

ERICA: Growth is painful, change is hard.

And there are days when you wish it would just stop.

Wouldn't it be great to just know?

To feel like you've finally figured it all out?

To just be done?

It's the hardest and most wonderful thing about being alive.

That no matter how much you learn, grow or change,

you're never done.

-Hey there. -Hey.

So did the latte help?

You know, it did. Thank you.

Can I get you another one?

Sure, but uh, decaf with a little bit of vanilla syrup?

Hey, Dave, where's the vanilla syrup?

Storage. We got some this morning, I think.

All right, just a sec.

Oh, you know what, don't worry about it, it's...

Ah, damn it.