Original subtitles

[electronic jingle]

[playful music]

[phones ringing]

Whoa, hey, Brent, what are you doing?

Today of all days, you forget to bold title?

Always bold the title.

Brent, no, they're fine.

No, they are so not fine.

You see that, dark sunglasses?

Not good.

Word around the office is that Jackson dumped her.

Quelle surprise.

[Erica Voiceover] Remember that song,

"Lovers in a Dangerous Time?"

Whenever I listen to it,

I think being in love is always dangerous.

As you all know, Frank Galvin's

golden anniversary is this Friday.

Why isn't the title bolded?

Oh, sorry, Julianne.

Well, don't apologize to me, apologize to Frank.

Because when you don't bold the title,

you're just saying that this event doesn't matter.

Sorry.

As I was saying, we will be celebrating

50 years of our glorious leader right here,

in this office, where it all began.

You can bring a guest.

Dress code is formal.

Hey, I have a delivery.

Oh.

-Oh, that's-- [laughs] -Yeah?

Well, someone's feeling guilty.

Oh...

[Erica] Beautiful.

It's from Ryan.

Ryan?

Just sign right here, Miss Strange.

Oh, um...

That's um...

That's here, here.

Here you go, sign that.

[romantic music]

What if I told you that kiss was dessert?

Um, I'd say I'd probably have to

find a new, less cheesy, boyfriend.

Okay.

What if I told you that dessert

was actually homemade creme brulee?

Creme brulee?

With the sugary coating on the top, creme brulee?

All it takes is a torch, which I brought.

I'm always prepared.

Ooh-la-la!

[banging]

Mmm.

Oh, that's just Ethan.

It's this thing we used to do in university.

Knock once means 'I'm indisposed'.

Knock twice [banging] 'come on over'.

You knocked twice.

Hey, tonight's horror movie night.

Hey, Ryan.

Ethan.

Sorry about that, I just, I knocked one too many times.

Sorry to interrupt.

You can borrow this another time.

Thank you.

All right, yeah.

'Night.

Uh, we usually, you know, we do DVD nights on Thursdays.

DVD night, huh, like a date?

No, I pick one week and he picks the next.

So, tell me, why are, why are you

pulling out all the stops tonight?

Why do you think?

Uh, let's see, maybe you're feeling guilty

because you're flying away tomorrow

and leaving me dateless for my boss's

very big, important anniversary party?

Okay, yeah, now I feel guilty.

But, no, it's more than that.

Yeah?

Yeah, tonight is three months

to the day that we first met.

We're celebrating three months?

You think I'd make creme brulee for just any old night?

No, I just thought--

You thought I was in it for the hot sex.

No, Erica, I don't make creme brulee

just for anyone, only the ones that I--

[stammering] The ones that you what?

Nothing.

Only the ones that you want to impress

with your superb culinary skills, hm?

Only the ones that I love.

Wow.

That's, um, I just mean that love is,

uh, I mean, it's a very serious emotion.

Sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot.

No, it's, no, it's fine, Ryan.

You're not there yet.

That's, that's cool, right?

Yeah, of course.

Of course it is, yeah.

Love.

It's the biggest risk we take and the most enduring mystery.

Why we feel so powerfully for one person, and not another.

So, how's that for tasty-crunchy?

It's perfect.

[light upbeat theme music]

♪ It's clearer inside of me

♪ Who I will always be

♪ Open me up to my heart

♪ Feels like I'm sitting in the dark ♪

♪ Do it all over again and again ♪

♪ Back to the end

♪ Some of my dreams

♪ And everything I ever wanted to be ♪

[knocking]

Hey, Jenny, come on in, it's open.

-Hi. -Hi.

So your dress is here, even if,

technically, it's my dress.

Thank you, you are a lifesaver.

So, nice, nice robe.

Thank you.

It's Barbara Strange, Rosh Hashanah collection.

So, where is Ryan off to this time?

Timbuktu, Borneo, maybe Prague?

Chicago and then Vancouver.

But before he left, he uh...

He what?

He said the 'L' word.

I mean, he said that he loved me.

Who falls in love after three months?

Ryan, the romantic.

Okay, what did you say, when he said?

Mm, something terrible like, uh, uh, uh, love,

well, that's a, that's a very serious emotion.

Oh, sweetie, you said that?

I know, don't make me feel worse than I already do.

Ryan, I mean, he is so great in so many ways,

but then, I just...

How do you know?

You're asking the wrong girl.

[knocking]

[Erica] Hey, Ethan, come on in, it's open.

Oh, Ethan, very nice.

Hey, I gotta run to yoga, it started five minutes ago.

Thanks, Jenny.

Bye.

[Erica] Ethan, thank you so much

for coming on such short notice.

I should, uh, should probably warn you

that this event is gonna be quite high-brow.

[laughs] I was married to Claire

for eight years, I'm used to high-brow.

Now, if I could just stuff myself into this dress.

Can you, um?

[Ethan] Yeah, let me help.

Thanks.

So, how are things going with Claire?

Oh, um, it's, it's okay.

It's challenging.

Um...

What?

Sorry, I...

Is the dress too much?

'Cause you're looking at me like--

No, no, no, it's good.

It's a great dress, actually.

We should probably get going.

Sure, yes.

Lipstick.

Well, thank you.

You look great.

Yeah. [laughs]

[jazz dinner music]

Okay, first the roses and now this fierce dress.

What's the dealio?

And who are you?

Mr. Perfect?

Oh, no, Julianne, this is my friend, Ethan.

My boyfriend Ryan is in Vancouver, so.

Julianne, nice to finally meet you.

You, too.

Not that Erica's ever mentioned you.

Can I get anyone a drink?

Please.

Oh, I'd love a martini, make it dirty.

G and T, thanks.

You got it.

Okay, so cute, well-dressed, and now,

for the deal breaker: is he single?

Single?

Uh, no, not exactly.

He's separated from his wife.

Oh, tragic.

[Erica] Twenty-four.

No, that was touch number 25, in five minutes.

So, what is it about him, do you think?

I mean, he's got great eyes.

I can't compete with what God gave him.

Is it his hair?

Because that's something I can do something about.

Maybe get a mullet.

Oh my God, Ryan!

What're you doing here?

You're supposed to be in Vancouver.

I am, I know.

But then I'm sitting there in O'Hare,

after a crazy day of meetings, and it hits me.

I have more pressing matters waiting for me at home.

Oh.

I freaked you out.

No.

A little bit, yes, but not in a bad way.

And, really, you didn't have to fly back just for that.

Is that Ethan?

Yeah, I just, I couldn't handle

all the small talk on my own.

That's okay, right?

Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

More the merrier.

Good, good.

Well, let me show you around

and introduce you to some people.

Explain why I have two dates.

[laughs]

Oh my God, she is unstoppable.

Who?

Julianne, everywhere I turn, she's right there.

I haven't been this groped since Pam Simon locked me

in the back seat of her dad's Grand Marquis.

Aw, poor you.

Julianne's a babe.

Don't you ever tell Erica I said that.

Hey, don't worry, Ryan, I wouldn't rat you out to Erica.

Well, you are best friends.

You know, I'm just curious,

what is it you think we do when we get together?

Watch reruns of "Sex and the City",

drink tea, and share feelings?

I'm joking, buddy, lighten up.

Well, Erica's always been a thorny issue with Claire.

'Cause Erica's 3 main topics

of conversation are: books, books, and you?

No, you're just friends, I get it.

Good.

I hope so.

But you two have never, you know?

No, never.

All this time, 15 years or whatever,

you're just friends, nothing ever happened?

You know, honestly, Ryan, I've always dated Claire

or I've been married to Claire.

But if Claire had been out of the picture,

something would've happened.

Call me paranoid, but are you hiding from me?

No, just washing, washing my hands.

Look, all clean.

Come.

When I published my first book 50 years ago

I had no idea that a half century later

I'd be standing here in front of all of you.

But my love of writing remains constant.

Friends, friends, I wouldn't be standing

here tonight if weren't for the real--

This is insane.

I know, what a life, huh?

No, I mean, Julianne, look at her with Ethan.

It's like she's in heat.

So?

So?

He's married.

Ethan is separated.

Look, I want Ethan to move on

more than anyone, but Julianne?

I mean, she's got all of Claire's

worst qualities, minus the cute accent.

It's none of your business, Erica.

Oh, come on--

I'm serious.

Yeah, so am I.

Let go of me.

What the hell was that?

We're not doing this here.

[Frank] But not when your pages are late.

Thank you.

[audience clapping]

[elevator bell ringing]

I need to know, Erica, are you concerned

about Ethan or are you jealous?

What?

He's walking into your apartment, knocking on your walls.

You two have date night.

You talk about him non-stop: Ethan this, Ethan that.

And, you know, I get it.

You two have known each other a lot longer

than you've known me, but, Erica,

there comes a point when I go from understanding to--

To crazy jealousy, hm?

Yes, to jealousy.

I'm jealous.

What am I supposed to say to that?

Well, look at it from my point of view.

I tell you that I love you and

you can't say it back, and that's okay.

But then I come back here to surprise you,

and you're all dressed up looking gorgeous for another guy.

Okay, Ethan is here as my friend.

And you couldn't tell me that before?

No, I didn't feel the need to vet my social life

by you when you're on the opposite side of the country!

Erica you are here tonight with another guy.

A guy who I sometimes feel that I can't compete with.

At least not in any way that matters to you.

Ryan, I don't, I mean, I don't have feelings for Ethan.

You're sure?

You're just friends?

Yes, of course I'm sure.

You must think I'm a freak.

No, oh my God, not at all.

I should've told you that I was coming with him.

I'm sorry.

We're okay?

You're not gonna go out there and punch him?

No, I'm not gonna go punch him.

We're good.

Okay, good, sorry.

Let's go.

Oh, thank God.

I'm not sure if I should be flattered or perturbed?

I just need a little time out.

You lied to Ryan.

I know.

But what good would it be to tell him that I kissed Ethan?

A kiss, I'll remind you, which led absolutely nowhere.

Well, if it led absolutely nowhere,

then what harm could it do to tell him?

It just would.

You sound surprisingly sure of that.

Okay, well, imagine if you were Ryan.

Okay.

You tell me that you love me,

I say nothing back and then the very

next day I tell you that I kissed Ethan.

Okay, well, I can understand that

there could be some jealousy that arises,

but in the end, don't you think

it's just better to tell the truth?

I do.

But I'm in a really tricky situation.

I mean, we're just at the start of our relationship.

And yet Ryan was able to bare his heart and soul,

profess his love to you.

Tell me about Cassidy Holland.

Cassidy?

What does Cassidy have to do with any of this?

I mean, our relationship, it was totally different.

Enlighten me.

Cassidy Holland was probably

the most amazing woman I've ever met.

Back in 1999, she lived in the apartment next to me

and she was finishing her PhD in Urban Planning.

I was in the middle of my Masters.

And our friendship, it started off like any other.

The initial, 'hey, hello', and then a conversation or two

and before I knew it, we became best friends.

I mean, we were we were inseparable.

And I think, in some ways, I had a crush on her.

Not in all ways though, 'cause Cassidy was gay.

She never hid the fact that, that she liked girls.

And I soon figured out that she liked me.

I mean, the chemistry, it was there.

I won't, I wont deny it.

Chemistry which, through no fault of her own,

at all, Cassidy misread.

Because, I mean, no matter how much I liked her,

I just, I couldn't go there

the way that she had wanted me to.

That night was the last night we ever spoke.

Because you didn't share her feelings?

No, because I crushed them.

I mean, what I should've done is,

I should've gone to her the next day and talked it through.

But instead, I had this, this big

New Year's Eve party for Y2K,

and I pushed Cassidy right out of my mind

and a few months later, she went overseas

to finish her PhD and I never saw her again.

Okay.

And if you could go back?

I would be totally honest with Cassidy.

I would tell her that I'm straight

and deal with her expectations head on before

anything were to happen and, and save our friendship.

You know, some friendships do

just come and go, though, right?

What we had was, it's one step short of a love affair,

and when Cassidy walked out of my life,

I felt like I lost a little bit of my heart and soul.

Well, I say, go back and find them both.

[whooshing]

[glass shattering]

[screaming]

Oh, shit!

I am so sorry I swear that, it was a mistake.

I'm just...

Here you go.

Denied.

We take debit.

I don't think that's gonna happen.

Don't worry, I got it.

Cassidy.

No way, it's almost 500 dollars.

Don't thank me, thank student loans.

Ring it through.

But the last time I spent this much on Crystal,

she threw in a lap dance first.

[laughs]

-Hi. -Hi.

I am gonna pay you back, every last cent,

with interest, if I have to.

Calm down, it's not a big deal.

Here, help you relax.

Thank you.

Okay, so, how do you wanna do this?

I was thinking, Y2K in deep red,

with maybe the signs of the apocalypse all around.

Throw in some circles of hell for a little drama.

Ooh, that's very Dante.

You are such a lit nerd.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

What is with you?

How come you're so stressed out today, Strange?

I'm not stressed out.

I'm fine, I am fine.

You are such a liar.

I know you.

I can tell, you're doing that deer in headlights thing.

What deer in the headlights thing?

The whole, I'm trying to make it look like

I'm thinking about what I'm doing

when actually thinking about something else.

Huh, what's going on in there?

Nothing. [laughs]

Okay, come here.

Come here!

Close your eyes.

Why?

Just do it.

[sighing]

♪ Of the love you saved

♪ And it's time to settle down

[upbeat music]

[gasping]

Keep your eyes closed.

When I was little, my best friend

and I would paint on each other.

My mom would get so mad.

But we loved it.

Sitting there while someone else draws all over you.

Cassidy, um...

I'm straight.

Yeah, I know.

Sorry, I just, I don't want to send any mixed signals.

No, it's, it's cool.

It keeps everything just--

-Clear. -Yeah.

Okay.

But I have something to tell you, as well.

I think you are beautiful.

I'm really attracted to you.

And I know you just wanna be friends and that's cool,

but in the spirit of being frank?

I have wanted you since the moment we met.

♪ And it's time to settle down

Hope you're not a vegetarian, Cassidy.

Oh, vegetarian-shmegetarian.

I know it's trendy right now,

but if you ask me I think people spend too much

time thinking, and not enough time eating.

So much trouble, just for us, Mrs. Strange?

I feel very important.

Well, it's Barbara, and it was no trouble at all.

Enjoy.

New haircut, Mom?

Thank you for noticing.

Yes.

Karl, my hairdresser, thinks I look like Jennifer Aniston.

And I figure, if I can't have her body,

at least I can have her hair.

Do you find her attractive, Cassidy?

Sexy?

Rachel's the hottest friend, everybody knows that.

I tell you, if I was a lesbian,

she would be the woman I would most wanna be with.

Mom!

What?

Your Uncle Ruby, my brother, is a homosexual,

and I'm open-minded about it.

I like to talk about these things.

You have a gay uncle?

Yes, and he owns a wedding dress empire.

It sort of makes you wonder if it runs in the family?

Clearly, it makes you wonder.

Well, sweetheart, you won't bring home

a nice boy, so what am I supposed to think?

All I want is for you to be happy.

Who says that I'm not, hmm?

You know, my mom used to say exactly the same think, Barb,

but what she really meant was happily married to a man.

You'd either live on hell on earth or,

according to her, spend eternity in hell with a capital H.

She actually said you were damned?

Yeah.

Said it, meant it, still means it.

I haven't spoken to her in ten years.

I wish that I had half the relationship

that you have with Erica.

Your, your daughter's pretty amazing.

She's smart and talented.

She really helped me when I first moved out here.

Helped me feel less alone in the big city.

And she's 100% straight.

Straight, lesbian, I don't care.

I really don't, Erica.

How could any parent care?

Oh, Mom.

Seriously, Mom, you're choking me a bit.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Now, the look on my mom's face.

Your daughter's 100 percent straight.

I thought she was gonna cry from relief.

[laughs]

And I'm really glad that we had

that talk this afternoon, you know?

It just makes everything easier.

You know how I feel.

You know how I feel.

And everybody respects each others feelings.

And I sound like such a dork, wow.

You really do.

Okay, okay.

Hot outfit, killer shoes.

Aren't you glad we went home to change?

Yes, I am.

ID, please.

All right.

My friend just went in, do you want my ID?

[Dr. Tom] No, I don't need to see it.

Oh, am I not dressed up enough for your big fancy club?

No, on the contrary, you look fabulous, for 32.

And you look like a reject from The Village People.

Aren't you full of confidence and sass tonight?

I forgot how much fun Cassidy was.

I mean, you should've seen how she took on Barb-zilla.

She did this thing where she just killed her with kindness.

It was awesome.

Look at you, all giddy.

Are those butterflies in your stomach?

Are those stars in your eyes?

I'm straight.

That's what you keep saying, yeah.

No, I am.

I'm not interested in girls.

I have never been interested in girls,

but I, I am bonkers about Cassidy.

I mean, the way that I feel when I'm

with her and the things that we do together.

Well, that sounds wonderful.

It is.

And yet, you're straight.

Yeah.

Yeah, so, those are friendly butterflies?

Friendly stars?

I can't be into Cassidy.

I'm not a lesbian.

Labels are for cans, not people, Anthony Rapp.

[dance music]

[Bartender] Compliments of the gentlemen.

From Russia with love.

Wow.

Cheers!

Cheers!

[glasses clinking]

Oh shit, they're coming over here!

[Cassidy] Come on.

Nice one!

[laughs]

Woo!

I think that you just made a bad situation worse.

Don't take this the wrong way, okay?

It's official, we're going to hell.

Actually, I think we're avoiding it.

[groaning]

Where did you buy those?

Chinatown.

Where, at a foot-binding shop?

Look, real Manolo's are like a gazillion dollars.

These are ten.

Think they would've let me into

that nightclub rocking this look, huh?

I think you look great.

And I think they would've swarmed you at dike bar.

Don't be embarrassed.

I'm not.

Yes, you are.

I know you, Erica.

Your face tells me everything.

Oh, yeah?

[Cassidy] Yeah.

Okay, all right, okay, fine.

What is my face telling you right now?

Mmm.

Nervousness around the mouth, trying to be tough,

but the eyes, the eyes betray a

bit of doubt, a bit of insecurity.

Like you wanna say something,

but you're afraid you'll lose your nerve.

What do you wanna say?

Tell me.

Wow, you know, it's, it's getting a little bit

late right now so maybe I should, I should go.

Yeah.

Last day of the millennium and--

Yeah, yeah.

Erica...

[Erica] Thank you for the wine.

[Cassidy] You're welcome.

Goodnight.

[sighing]

[knocking]

It's open!

Hey.

Hey!

So Claire's not coming to celebrate the end of the world.

[Erica] Why not?

We got into a fight.

So I got you all the junk food you asked for.

That water?

Not for your guests.

When everything stops working at 12:01

it's the only drinking water we'll have.

Okay, I promise you that the nuclear power plants

aren't gonna melt down and all the computers

will work just fine tomorrow, trust me.

Hi.

Hi.

I heard you up and about,

but I can come back another time.

No, no, no, no, it's cool.

You, you remember Ethan, right?

Ethan, Cassidy.

Yeah, of course, nice to see you.

You, too.

Right, so, I'll come by in a couple hours to help set up.

Sound good?

Yeah, perfect.

Thank you.

[Ethan] Sure.

How're you doing?

I'm good, I'm fine.

I'm really good.

I hope that your still coming to the party tonight,

because I wouldn't want what happened between us

to make you feel weird and not come,

'cause I really don't want what did to get

in the way of our relationship, of our friendship.

Erica, Erica.

Okay?

Okay.

Cassidy.

We're not gonna do anything you don't wanna do.

Cassidy, Cassidy, just wait.

It's just, it's happening too fast, okay?

I know that we kissed once, but I can't.

I, I thought that this was--

I got halfway down the street

and I realized I forgot my cell phone.

And if Claire calls and I don't answer,

she'll totally freak out and oh my--

[Erica] Ethan!

I'm so sorry.

Sorry.

[dance music]

Erica, what the hell?

Oh my God, did Ethan tell you?

Of course he did, but why didn't you?

Were you worried we wouldn't accept your lifestyle?

No, no, what, what lifestyle?

And to be perfectly honest, this isn't a big surprise.

No, your unholy love of camping!

Oh, that Ani DiFranco box set.

That Melissa Etheridge collection and

the women's softball league you joined back in grade 9.

Oh my God, I'm not gay!

It's okay.

[Judith] It's fine, sweetie.

Excuse me!

Um, so, you just had to tell the girls?

Like you'd keep it to yourself if you came home

and found me macking with some dude?

Here, throw this back.

Cheers.

[both groaning]

So is this where you tell me you're gay?

No.

Oh, okay, well, I'm confused then.

Yeah, okay, well, that makes two of us.

Okay, let me get this straight.

No pun intended.

When you were with Cassidy, did it feel right?

No.

But it didn't feel right the first time I was with a guy.

My problem is, is that you hooked up with a friend.

Why is that a problem?

Erica, there are certain lines you just don't cross.

I mean, sure, things could turn out great,

but they could also blow up in your face.

So you're, you're telling me that,

you know, you'd never kiss a friend?

No, never.

Really?

Not unless I really meant it.

Not unless I wanted to take the

relationship to the next level.

So, either commit to Cassidy 100%, or withdraw.

Hey.

Your friends, Jenny and Judith,

they're so proud of you for taking

this big important step in your life.

Cassidy--

So, what is it, Erica?

Because you keep telling me that

we're moving too fast and your friends

are throwing a pride parade in your honor.

I know, and believe me, this has become

so much more complicated than I ever intended.

You know, there's a reason I don't go

for straight girls, and this is it.

So you walk away with broadened horizons

and a sexy little story to get your boyfriend off.

And I, I walk away with nothing.

Just a lot of pain, and a lot of kicking myself in the ass.

Cassidy, I do, I feel something for you.

Yeah, you keep saying that.

So what, what are we, Erica?

Because feeling something for me, it's not enough.

I just, Cassidy, wait.

Cassidy.

Cassidy!

Erica, hey, it's almost time!

First the power will go out,

then the water gets shut off, and--

Oh, Ethan, enough, okay?

Come on, everyone stand, raise your glasses.

Ready?

[All] Ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four, three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

Oh, my God!

The lights, they're still on!

Erica, you were right.

Why was I getting so freaked out?

Because you're a big freak.

We're still alive.

Woo-hoo!

Now we can party like it's not 1999!

Cassidy, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

No, it's not okay, believe me.

I mean, the last thing that I

ever wanted to do was hurt you.

Well, the verdict is in.

This could never work.

Which is crazy, because there

is so much that's great between us.

Yeah, there is, but for a relationship to work,

in the long run--

It's gotta be all or nothing.

We do not have it all.

It's not the end of the world, Erica.

We're okay?

I'm okay, but you're freezing.

Get your ass inside.

I'm gonna stay out here and take in the new millennium.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

It's okay.

[soft music]

♪ You were giving me all

♪ Of the love you saved

♪ And it's time to settle down

♪ And it's time to settle down

Oh!

Everything okay?

Yeah, fine.

You're sure?

Yeah.

So, should we talk?

I mean, that's why you came back.

I came back for you.

Ryan, please.

[Ryan] What?

I just, I think that we should talk.

Okay?

Okay, let's talk.

You and I, we have a great time when you're in town.

We do.

And, actually, there's something I wanna float by you.

For you and me to work, it's gonna require some sacrifices.

And so far, you're the only one doing any sacrificing.

You know, you're waiting for me to come home.

You're asking Ethan to be your date

at events where I should be your date.

Ryan--

No, please, just hear me out here.

So I've been thinking, I'm gonna start

spending a lot more time in Toronto.

You know, I can't stop traveling altogether,

but I can do a lot less of it.

And of course, that means I'm gonna be

spending more time in the main office,

but I'll also be spending a lot more time with you.

What do you think?

I think that you're sacrificing too much.

I mean, you're happy with your life now.

I'm happy with you.

I'm not ready for you to change your life, for me.

Well, what are you ready for, Erica?

I just, oh my God, you're an amazing guy.

Okay.

You are, and we have fun together.

And I like you, I really do.

I just, I have to be totally honest with you.

I can't give you 100%.

I know.

And I don't think that I ever will be able to.

It's Ethan, isn't it?

Right.

Ethan, wow.

You know, I should've seen it coming, and I did.

Joke's on me.

[whistling]

Ryan.

I'm really sorry.

Yup, so am I.

Love.

It's a strange mixture of alchemy and destiny.

And despite all our grand ideas about who we should be with,

love ultimately chooses for us every time.

Hi.

Hi.

So, any e-mails there from your friend?

From Ryan?

No, not one.

Who's Ryan?

He's my boyfr, he's my ex.

Your ex?

Why would I care if you've heard from your ex?

I'm talking about Ethan.

I called him, I haven't heard back yet.

Oh, uh, sorry.

Well, I guess he's not the one.

The None!

Pardon me?

'The None', that's what we need!

A guide to finding 'The None',

for the modern, practical woman who's

sick of looking for 'The One', 'The None'!

Ooh, I have that feeling!

So, you're okay then about Ethan?

Um, hello, he's a teacher.

Well, you're back in one piece.

I am.

I'm not sure Ryan is.

Well, like you said to Cassidy, it's all or nothing.

There is no prize for second place.

And generally, when you try to force things it doesn't--

It just doesn't work.

No.

But still, the look on Ryan's face.

Well, imagine the look on his face if all

this would've happened three years from now?

I mean, three months is nothing.

He'll live.

And so what about you, Erica?

Will I live?

No, what will you do?

I mean, you couldn't give your body to Cassidy,

and you couldn't give your heart to Ryan.

So, who can you give those all-important things to?

[Erica Voiceover] They say love is friendship set on fire.

And if you're lucky enough to find someone

you can give yourself to, mind, body and soul?

You should hold on and hope like hell you don't get burned.

[knocking]

Come on in, door's open.

I'm about to score a goal.

Yes, and England wins the world cup!

You wanna play?

England's got a major bone to pick with Germany.

No, thanks.

Hey, what's wrong?

Oh God, please don't do that,

you're gonna make me lose my nerve.

Erica, you're freaking me out.

What happened?

Is it Ryan?

No, uh, no, we broke up.

What?

Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Don't be, it's a good thing.

I mean, it's for the best.

Look, this is a really loaded statement

and I'm gonna apologize in advance

for complicating your life, because I know

that you're trying to work things out with Claire.

I know that, I just, um, I, I have to tell you.

What?

I love you.

And not just as a friend, in both ways.

In all ways.

When we kissed, that really, it changed things for me.

Or maybe it just showed me what was always there.

Oh, please say something.

Erica,

I'm married to Claire.

[cell phone ringing]

Yeah, I know that.

You should, you should get that.

Ethan, just please get that.

Hello?

Claire, yeah, you know,

this isn't really a good time.

Can I call you back?

[light upbeat music]