Original subtitles

- I suppose this is as good a place to start as any.

- Why? - Oh, Nick.

At least they can meet all of us at the same time.

- I wasn't there, dear, remember?

- That wasn't my fault.

Oh, look.

There's the Rat Pack.

- A perfect description, if I do say so.

- Oh, shut up.

The one on the left in a leather jacket is--

- Foster Holloway. - Foster.

He wanted to be Marlon Brando then.

Now he runs a chain of discount stereo stores.

He's very rich.

- And getting richer.

- That's Martin Cooper on the right.

- The great poet?

- He wrote beautiful poems.

- Oh, sure. That's why he writes magazine articles now to pay the bills.

- Nick, please.

Oh, that's me in the middle.

- That's not the one with the big smile.

- No,

that's Pat.

Pat Cooper now.

- She certainly hid you, didn't she, darling?

- Pat was jealous, that's all.

- She wanted-- - I know. Cliff.

- Cliff Ballard.

- Your high school dreamboat.

- He was my first, darling.

And so far the best.

- Especially in the back seat of his father's Lincoln.

- It wasn't a Lincoln, dear.

It was a Mercedes-Benz.

- Weren't those genuine leather seats a little cold on your delicate skin?

- Nick, I don't think you have a romantic bone in your entire body.

- Alexandra, you know better than that.

[music]

Anyway

this was the last Christmas the Rat Pack was all together.

- That was the Christmas that Cliff-- - Let me tell it, darling.

Cliff went to Chicago and came back with a big contract.

- And a brand new bride.

- Thanks so much.

- It was the first time we all met Diane.

- Damn it, Diane. You don't look this heavy.

- Oh, can put me down before you get a hernia?

- Don't you want me to carry you across the threshold?

- Kiss me first, Mrs. Ballard. - Oh, yes, Mr. Ballard.

Oh, goodness.

- Surprise!

- Wow. This is great.

How's everybody's life going?

- It's wet outside. - Yes, it is.

A lot of snow.

- Five years without snow, we finally got it.

- Yes.

- Pat, it's so good to see you. -lt's good to see you.

- Looks like you got a white Christmas, huh? - Long time no see, really.

All right. All right.

God, what a surprise.

- How is everybody?

- Who is this lovely young lady?

- In case you didn't guess,

that's Diane.

Poor thing.

She didn't look like much that night.

- Oh, I don't know.

She looks pretty cute to me.

- Believe me, darling.

She was really out of her league and she knew it.

Im sorry. - Diane,

this charming gentleman with the flashy teeth

and quick wit is Martin Cooper.

- Hey, these caps cost me a lot of money.

[laughter]

- This very attractive redhead is his wife, Pat.

- Hi.

- Cliff has told me so much-- - Foster Holloway.

Damn, how are you?

- All right, how are you? - Great.

This is my gorgeous new bride, Diane.

- Ah, well, welcome to the Rat Pack.

- Thank you. Cliff has told me so much-- - Foster, who's that beautiful lady?

- Come here. Come here.

Come on over.

This is Jennifer.

We--

l-- - We're engaged.

- What? You're kidding. That's wonderful. - Well, hey, Foster.

I must say, you've got a hell of a lot better taste

than I gave you credit for.

Congratulations.

- Hey, remember me?

I'm the man you're engaged to.

- Foster,

that was just to thank him for the nice compliment.

- Carlos, this is,

Mrs. Ballard.

- Hello, Carlos. - Hello, Carlos.

Here, please take our coats.

The luggage is in the car too.

- All right.

- This is great.

This is really great.

It's a double celebration.

Congratulations, you old pair.

- I hope you'll both be as happy as we are.

When are you getting married?

- Hey, where's Alex?

- Oh, how she is.

She just loves to make a grand entrance.

- Well, she's a grand lady.

- What is it, Carlos?

- A gift, sir, from Mrs. Booth. - Oh, interesting.

- From one lover to another,

all my thoughts are with you, love,

Alex.

- Thank you.

- Hey, leave it to Alex.

She always knows the right thing to do.

- You can say that again.

- Please don't.

- Excuse me, Pat. Who is Alex?

- Didn't cliff--

Ahh.. It's a long story.

I think you should ask Cliff.

- A toast to Alexandra Carlson Booth.

A lady with a lot of style.

- You said it.

- I thought I asked you not to.

- He said it that time.

- Come on, honey. Drink up, sweetheart.

Go ahead.

- Cliff, champagne doesn't really agree with me.

- Oh, come on.

One little glass of Alex's champagne.

-It's wonderful. -l'll drink to that.

okay

- A toast to Foster and-- - No, no, no. Please, please.

To Cliff and his lovely new bride.

- Here. - Here.

- Wait.

A toast to Foster and his lovely new lady.

The second time around is the best.

- Oh.

Oh, my goodness.

What a klutz.

- Oh, don't worry about it, Diane.

- It doesn't stain. - Goddamn.

- Carlos, do you have any club soda?

- Yes, ma'am. - Are you all right, honey?

- No.

- Hey, come on.

Let's get the party rolling, hmm?

- Come on, Foster. Let's dance.

- Not me, girl.

- Why not?

- I told you why.

I don't dance.

- Now there's an original answer.

[music]

- How do you say, Martin?

Let's dance, huh?

- All right.

- Is it getting hot in here,

or is it just me?

- It seems to be getting hotter by the minute.

-[coughs] - Are you all right, honey?

- Oh, dear. Maybe I should take her upstairs.

- No. That's okay. I'll take her up.

- No, no. I'll do it.

We'll be back in a minute.

Come on.

- Hurry back, honey. -[coughs]

- How do you do, buddy?

- You know something, Foster?

I don't think she should drink champagne.

- She's not the only one.

- God, you're a good dancer.

- God had nothing to do with it.

- Great party, huh?

- Foster's cute when he's mad, isn't he?

- It's funny.

I never imagined describing Foster as cute.

Damn, Foster.

Where'd you find her?

She's beautiful.

- Yes, she's beautiful, all right.

- Ah, the grand lady arrives at last.

- You know I could never resist an entrance.

- Ten to one, it's Alex.

- Well, that's no bet.

- Alex, how are you?

Good to see you.

- Cliff, my baby.

Where is this outrageous creature who has stolen you away from me?

- Oh, she's upstairs getting freshened up.

She'll be down in a minute.

- Who's that?

- Hey, that's Alex.

Right on cue, as usual.

Hey, Alex, that's quite an outfit, what there is of it.

- Martin, my love, it's Christmas.

'Tis the season to be jolly.

- Oh, what am I, chopped liver?

- Marlon!

- Well, Merry Christmas, Alex.

- Are we going to dance or what?

-oh, Jennifer, I'd like you to meet Alexandra.

- Jennifer Kinney, Alexandra.

- Foster asked me to marry him.

- My, my, Marlon.

You have been a busy bee.

-It's a lovely ring, Jenny.

- Jennifer. - Congratulations, Marlon.

Really, I hope it works this time.

- Thank you, Alex. - Why does she call you Marlon?

-It's just an old private joke.

- Come on, Marlon, let's dance.

- You sure you don't want to dance, Foster?

- Yes, I'm sure I don't want to dance.

- Why not, Foster?

- You know why not.

- Suit yourself.

- So nice to have met you, Alexandra.

Im sure it was,

Jennifer.

- I guess she's a little young to remember Marlon Brando

in The Wild One.

- A little high-strung for you, isn't she, Marlon?

Oh, Cliff, can't you hurry your lady along?

I'm dying to meet her.

- Why not? I'll run upstairs and see what's keeping them.

Great party.

I'll be right back.

[music]

- She is lovely, Marlon,

and so young.

She'll probably outgrow it. [chuckles]

- Wasn't that a great party, sweetheart?

- Wonderful.

- You looked sensational, especially after you got out of that wet uniform.

- And took two Valium.

- Come here.

Hey, what's the matter, darling?

- What makes you think anything's wrong?

- Oh, I don't know. You won't look at me.

You won't kiss me.

I just thought perhaps you weren't feeling right.

- You're not funny.

- Oh, you shouldn't have drunk so much champagne.

- I didn't drink any champagne, Cliff.

Not that you noticed.

- Well, then what is it?

- Oh, nothing much.

I just had an anxiety attack.

I couldn't breathe. I was shaking.

I'm just glad Pat had some Valium with her.

hey, hey.

I knew you were scared, baby.

You're a stewardess

-and you fly over the-- - Flight attendant.

- Sorry, flight attendant, I meant.

I thought you're used to meeting new people.

You know, coping with emergencies.

I didn't know they'd all pile in here tonight.

I guess it was just too much for you.

- They weren't too much for me.

Just her.

No!

- Diane, it--

- You're not going to distract me like that.

- Diane, you want me just as much as I want you.

Why are we fighting like this?

It's still our honeymoon.

- No.

- Diane, what's wrong?

- I want you to tell me about you and Alexandra Booth.

- Oh, Diane.

- Don't, oh, Diane me.

I don't think it's funny at all.

I saw the way you were looking at her.

- Sorry I laughed.

Come here.

- No, damn it. You should have told me about her before.

- All right, all right.

I guess I should have.

I'm sorry.

- Yes, you should have.

- Alex and I have known each other since we've been kids.

- Oh.

- She's just part of the Rat Pack.

We're just very old friends.

- Very close friends.

Yes,

but we're not lovers.

- You were lovers, weren't you?

- Yes, but that was a long time ago, sweetheart.

- Then why do you keep her picture on your dresser?

- That was long, long before you.

Remember, Diane?

- I threw it away.

Oh, Cliff.

- Nothing matters. Alex doesn't matter.

The only thing that matters is us.

- Damn you, Cliff Ballard.

You always know all the answers, don't you?

Oh, Cliff, I'm sorry I'm so jealous.

I love you.

Come on now, don't.

I didn't even take a shower yet.

- You taste just like pistachio ice cream.

- Forget it. - No, it doesn't.

[music]

- Now you can make love to me.

- I don't know how. - Oh, yes, you do.

Just do what feels good.

You want to, don't you?

- I do. I do.

[music]

- Oh, yes, baby.

Oh, yes.

Oh, it feels so good.

Yes. Oh. Oh, my God.

There. There. Oh, my God.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Oh. Yes, yes.

[music]

Cliff?

hmm?

- Did you make love to Alex in this bed?

- She catches on fast, doesn't she, my dear?

- Nick Booth, will you please let me tell this my way?

- You always do everything your way, Alex.

- Anyway, that was the night we met Diane and Jennifer.

The Rat Pack had two new members.

Almost a year went by until that beautiful day last fall.

- Did you spread my dress out in the trunk the way I asked you?

- Yes, ma'am. - Where's Mr. Holloway?

- I don't know.

- Foster?

Foster, where the hell are you?

- Right here.

- Oh, God.

Put out that damn thing and come on.

Where's your tux?

- Look, I can't go now.

- What? You can't go?

You've been driving me crazy

for the last two weeks about this damn dinner party,

and you can't go?

I thought you were so anxious

to pitch Jason Starret about an advertising campaign.

- All right, all right. Calm down, will you?

I'll be there.

-It's just that I got a phone call. - There's a problem, right?

Those damn stores.

There's always problems.

Are you the only one that can handle anything around there?

- You know if it wasn't for those damn stores,

we wouldn't have met, sweetheart.

You wouldn't have all this, missy.

Anyway, listen, that call didn't come from the store.

It came from Alex Booth.

- Alex?

What the hell does she want now?

- She's leaving town and she needs some help.

- Leaving town?

I thought she was coming to the party.

Where's she going?

- She didn't say but she rented a house and she's taking off.

She got a couple of plane tickets from Sheila.

- Two tickets?

- That's what she said.

Anyway, she needs some help with her stocks before she leaves.

- Her stock in the stores?

- How did you know she owned stock in my corporation?

- Our corporation, Foster dear.

Remember, I've got copies of all your records.

I own half of everything.

I like to look out for my investments.

- Yunno, Jennifer, you are too damn much.

From clerk to high finance in nine months.

That's usually the amount of time it takes a normal woman to--

- To have a baby.

Let's not go over that again.

I got to go-

Please get there early, Foster.

You know how you are about time.

Keep your paws off that witch.

You know you don't like it when I get pissed off.

- I love you too, you beautiful ball buster.

- Give us a kiss, you big lug.

What was that for?

- Well, that's the only way I know to keep your beautiful mouth shut.

Now get out of here, huh?

- See you tonight?

- Sure.

Have a good time shopping.

Oh, by the way, try not to buy Bloomingdale's.

- Screw yourself.

Oh, Foster,

tell Alex good riddance for me, will you?

- Sure. I'm sure she sends the same regards.

- Come on, Jack. Step on it.

- Yes, ma'am.

[music]

- Umm, Jack,

will you get me Sheila at my travel agency, please?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Thank you.

- You got it.

- Thank you, Jack.

Hello, Sheila?

Hi. Yes, this is Jennifer.

How are you doing?

Great.

I heard Alex Booth bought a couple of plane tickets from you.

Uh-huh.

Can you tell me where she was going?

Oh, that's interesting.

And uh, who was the second ticket for?

- Jennifer's getting an earful but she doesn't know the best part.

Not yet, anyway. [chuckles]

- Martin.

Martin!

Martin, will you hurry up?

Jennifer will be here any minute.

I've got a million things to do at the office.

Martin, damn it.

Did you hear me?

I said we're going to be late.

Jennifer will be here any minute.

Are you ready?

- Jennifer's never on time, honey.

You know that.

- Oh, damn it, Martin.

Martin, please, what are you doing?

Jennifer's going to be here any minute.

L've got a million things to do, and I've got to be there-

I've got to be there by one.

- It's Saturday, honey.

I thought you were going shopping with Di and Jennifer.

- You're not even dressed yet.

Martin, for Christ's sake.

-L'm dressed.

Look.

- Very funny.

Those are your work clothes.

I'm working.

- You're supposed to go into the city with us this morning.

We have a dinner party tonight, remember?

Jason is going to announce my promotion.

This party is for me, Martin.

Could you please take it a little bit more seriously, for my sake?

- I take you very seriously, lady.

- Will you stop clowning?

You're going to mess me all up.

I'm already nervous enough.

- I can think of a cure for that.

- Yes? - Oh, Martin,

I don't have time for that.

Look, I've got a big video campaign due on Monday.

I've got to show Jason what I can do.

What are you working on down here, anyway?

- Oh,

just an article for the environmentalist newsletter.

Nothing as important as a video campaign.

- Oh, God. All you can think about is jumping into the sack.

- We used to have time for the sack.

- We used to eat spaghetti four times a week.

- I love spaghetti.

I love you.

- Look, Martin,

there is more to life than spaghetti and sex.

"Oh, yeah?

- Oh, God.

Oh, shit. That's Jennifer.

Will you get out of there? God.

You used to think spaghetti and sex was enough.

- We'll be right out, Jennifer.

We're running a little late.

- Shake your tuchus. Will you?

- Won't be a minute.

Martin?

- Hi, Jennifer.

How's it going?

- Hi. What's with the fancy clothes and the duffel bag?

You going camping?

- Why not? It's Saturday.

Where's Foster?

- He's got a problem at the Danbury store.

You know how he is.

- Yes, I know how he is.

Well, see you around.

- Martin? - Yeah?

I thought I told you not to do that, Jennifer.

'Did you?

I forgot.

I'll see you tonight.

- You're a witch, you know that?

- Perfect description.

If you spell it with a B.

- You should know, Mrs. Booth.

- I love you too, Mr. Booth.

- Where's Foster? - Oh, he's got a problem

at the Danbury store.

Come on, get in.

Foster said he'll meet us at the party, but I'm not holding my breath.

You know how he is about time.

- Oh, I hope he makes it.

Jason's counting on seeing some of those videotapes.

- Don't worry, honey.

Foster is so anxious to pitch this advertising deal with your boss,

he'd walk over hot coals to get there.

What's with Martin?

- Oh, he's all bent out of shape about my promotion.

He thinks advertising is one step up from child pornography.

- Do you really think it's that?

- Oh, sure.

You know how men are these clays.

They want you to be independent.

When it comes right down to it, they feel threatened.

- Yep, that's right.

- This is your station for the sweetest music in Westchester.

We'll be back after these messages.

- If your man is anything like mine,

he works hard and plays hard.

- Hey, that's my dude commercial. - Look, honey, you may have to

write that crap, but I don't have to listen to it.

- Jennifer!

- Oh, well, I guess it'll be on later. - Hey, Pat, I don't know how you do it.

Deadlines and hassles and all-night meetings in the city.

- Look,

I don't have Foster's money to live on.

If I want nice clothes and a nice house, I've got to get them myself.

God knows I can't depend on Martin ever making any money.

- Martin has other talents.

- Oh, sure.

Those talents and 50 cents can get you a lousy cup of coffee.

Look, Jennifer, living on love is the pits.

- You know Alex Booth once-- - Speaking of Alex,

I have got a juicy piece of gossip for you.

- You know how I hate gossip, Jennifer.

- What is it? - Well, just keep your legs crossed, honey.

Let's pick up Diane and Cliff so I don't have to dish it twice.

- Hi. Where's everybody? - Get in, get in. Let's get going.

I've got a deadline.

- Hi, Di. Foster's busy and Pat's fighting with Martin again.

- Where's Cliff? - We're not fighting.

It's just a little misunderstanding.

- Oh, well, Cliff had a business meeting in the city.

He had to get a bunch of papers signed before the guy went back to Japan.

So he said he'd meet us at the party.

- Great. We don't have to lug him around.

Jack, let's go.

Next stop, the Big Apple.

- Yes, ma'am.

-L've got to tell you this before I explode.

- Jennifer's dying to tell us some dirt about Alex.

- Do we have to talk about her?

- I am so sick-- - Don't worry, girls.

You won't have Alex Booth to kick around anymore.

[chuckles]

Not after today.

The joke will be on you.

- We won't have Alex to kick around anymore

because she is leaving town today.

- What? - How do you know that?

- Well, if she rented her house out and bought two plane tickets,

what would you think?

- That's just like her.

- The least she could have clone is call to say goodbye.

- Oh, listen, kitties, let's be honest.

Are we really going to miss her that much?

- Why did she buy two tickets?

- Where is she going? - Are you ready for this?

Rome.

- Italy?

- Whose name is on the second reservation? - Oh, that's even funnier.

Mr. Nick Booth.

- Her ex-husband? - Yes, the mysterious Mr. Booth.

- You're kidding. Did you meet him?

- Sure.

- He's-- - Very smooth and very charming.

Too smooth and too charming, if you ask me.

- Yes, Foster said he just disappeared.

- Only a week after they came back from their honeymoon.

- What happened? - Oh, nobody knows except Alex.

I think she's still carrying a torch for Cliff.

- That was over a long time ago, Pat.

Cliff told me-- [phone rings]

[phone rings]

- Hello?

Yes, this is Mrs. Holloway.

What?

Hold on.

It's the answering service.

A message from Alex.

- What is it?

- I don't know.

- What'd she say? - The girl said there's a message

for all of us.

Okay. We can all hear it together.

- Wait a minute. Let's forget about it for now, please.

We can all hear this when we get home.

She'll just ruin our day.

- No, I'm curious.

I want to hear it now.

- Me, too. It'll ruin my day if I have to wait.

Curiosity would kill me.

- Well, dear, you know what they say about cats.

- Let them read the message, Jennifer.

- Okay, go ahead, please.

- I just want to let that

while you're off doing the things you all do best,

I'll be doing what I love best.

- Meeting your husbands.

After all, I do have to say goodbye before I leave for Rome.

Oh, but don't worry, girls.

I won't have time for much more.

I'll be too busy talking.

I'm going to tell each of your husbands

the juicy little secrets you don't want them to know.

Ciao.

Alex.

- Will there be any answer, Mrs. Holloway?

- No, thank you. That's all.

Oh, Steve.

- Oh, Jason.

- Anybody like a drink? - I think I'll have one.

- Scotch, please. - Okay.

I'll just have some ginger ale.

Pat,

can I have half a Valium?

- Sure, I think I'll have one, too.

- Oh, to hell with Alex!

I'm glad she's gone,

and I hope she never comes back.

- Damn right.

Cheers.

pat?

- What?

- Where was Martin going with that duffel bag?

- Why ask me?

I saw you kiss him this morning.

Didn't he tell you?

- God, I was just giving him a goodbye kiss for crying out loud.

You never objected to it before.

- Oh, come on.

If that was a goodbye kiss, I'd hate to see your hello.

- You thought I didn't know about your little indiscretion,

didn't you, Diane?

You never told Cliff about your movie career, did you?

- One videotape is hardly a career in the porn business, Alex.

- Maybe not

but I'm sure Diane would be very unhappy

if Cliff ever saw that tape.

That's why you felt so out of place that night at the surprise party,

wasn't it, Diane?

The night you found my picture in Cliff's bedroom.

You know you're not good enough for him,

don't you?

- Beautiful.

- Cliff! - Just beautiful.

- Cliff, you scared the hell out of me.

- That wasn't very nice. - I mean it, Mrs. Ballard.

You're one gorgeous piece of ass.

- Oh, Cliff.

- I think we'd better break this up before this ends the party.

- I don't know.

What kinda parties are your friends into?

- Bite your tongue, young lady.

Alex is downstairs demanding your presence.

- Who is Alex?

- Hey, I'd spoil it for you if I told you right now.

- Spoil it for who?

- Enough.

Give me a break.

-L'm trying to.

- Hurry up, beautiful.

I'll be downstairs.

- You'll always be my first love.

- Here we are, all fixed.

- Who is this?

- Oh, that's Alexandra Booth.

Alex Carlson, before she married.

- So this is Alex.

- She's married? - I was.

- For one forgettable week.

- I won't ever forget it.

Some of it was almost--

- What?

- She and Cliff were inseparable.

"Oh?

- Oh, Nick. - Water under the bridge, Diane.

Here you go. Get dressed.

Let's get downstairs.

- Sure.

- She catches on fast.

- Diane, you're such a good little actress.

When Cliff makes love to you,

you pretend you're such an inexperienced little virgin

but I know better.

- You just have to show Cliff, don't you, Alex?

- You're the one who's going to show him

-that tape at the party, darling. - I won't even be there.

- Cliff? - Mmm.

- Did you sleep in this bed with Alex?

- Poor Diane. [laughter]

- Evil bitch.

- This is my stop.

- What?

Jesus, Diane, wake up.

- Have him drop me off at the next corner, please.

- Jack, drop off Mrs. Cooper at the next corner, okay?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Pat, can't you just have lunch with us before you go dredging away at the office?

- Wish I could.

You girls have fun with lunch and I'll see you tonight at the party.

- All right. Bye-bye.

- Bye.

- I don't know what she sees in him.

- Who, Martin? - Oh, no, not Martin.

I know what she sees in him.

I mean Jason Starret.

- Her boss?

- Oh, grow up, Diane.

Do you really think Pat has to go to work today?

- Jason Starret and Pat.

How do you know?

- I have my sources.

Jack, drop off our clothes at the Starrett apartment.

Here's the address.

- Ma'am.

- We'll be there about 6:00.

You got that?

- Yes, ma'am.

- You don't mind walking a couple blocks, do you, Diane?

- Jennifer.

- God, you're the most naive bimbo I've ever met.

Come on, let's go.

[music]

- Your little message certainly has Pat in a state.

- She's not thinking about me, Nick, dear.

She's worried about Martin.

You know Martin thinks

you're having an affair with Jason Starret,

doesn't he, Pat?

All those long nights in New York.

- She has been ignoring him.

What else could he think?

- Not all men are as suspicious as you, darling.

But Pat knows I'd never ignore a man like Martin.

- God knows you never have.

- Sorry, honey, I'm late.

Took a little longer than I thought.

- Yeah.

What time is it?

-It's after 2:00.

- Wonderful.

I'm really sorry.

Did you cook?

- Yeah.

It's in the oven.

It's probably as dry as a bad case of psoriasis by now.

- Jason just had to go

over the advertising campaign one more time.

- I hope you two had fun.

.Fun?

I worked my ass off.

- I hope not.

I love your ass, just like it is.

- Not now, honey.

I'm beat.

- A story of a happy marriage.

- Gimme a break.

-L'm sorry, honey.

I guess it's hard on you too.

- Not as hard as it's getting on you.

- Mm-hmm.

So, uh... how about it?

Something, uh, nice

and soft

-and cuddly. - It isn't nice

and soft and cuddly with Jason.

Is it Pat?

- Uhh, Jason has certain other tastes, my dear.

- Let's not go into that, Nicky, darling, hmm?

Now

lie down on the sofa.

Spread your legs.

That's it.

One knee up, the other knee down.

Pose for me.

Mmm, beautiful.

See, wasn't that easy?

You look sensational.

Very sexy.

- The lights are in my eyes.

- Close your eyes.

Imagine you are a... prostitute.

A high-priced slut.

You need the money badly, so you'll do anything.

Anything I say.

-I-- - Shh.

Don't spoil it, Patricia.

Play with the idea.

This is the most important thing in your life.

It means everything to you.

Put your mind between your legs.

All you have to do is be my sexual slave for a few hours.

Do whatever I tell you to do.

Be whatever I tell you to be.

- All right, all right.

Just let me get my clothes off.

- Don't do me many favors.

- What do you want from me?

I'm tired.

- And I'm tired, too.

Of all this late-night advertising crap.

I'm going to bed.

- Happy anniversary, Martin.

- What?

- Nothing.

- Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I forgot.

Forgive me.

I'm so sorry.

- I know.

- Is it too late to give you an anniversary present?

- No.

It's never too late.

[music]

- Now, for your second present.

[music]

- I don't believe it.

I was so tired a minute ago.

[music]

[moaning]

- Oh, Pat.

- Jason.

God, you are so perverse.

Wait a minute. Hold on.

Yes, it is.

You will?

Oh, great. Okay, I'll have it there on Monday.

Don't I always come through for you?

Yes, almost always.

Right.

Okay, Okay

I'll call you back later.

Martin's in a-- Yes, he's in a playful mood.

Okay?

All right.

BYE - bye.

Martin, it's hard enough to work.

- I feel so good.

I feel so nice.

- That was important.

- So was this.

- Martin, you're cold.

- Why don't we go upstairs and warm up, huh?

- Oh, I've got work to do.

You're turning me on.

- Don't analyze your feelings.

Just enjoy,

go with the flow.

- Can't we wait a little while?

I'll be finished soon.

- All right,

but we got a hot date right after the party tonight.

- What party?

- The surprise party for Cliff and his new bride.

You didn't forget about it, did you?

Im sorry.

I haven't even had time to do Christmas shopping.

- Come in anytime, day or night, and we'll show you televisions,

stereos, and video equipment

- You know what?

You need a good secretary to keep your life straight.

- God, it's getting cold out.

Feels like snow.

- Is this fresh coffee? - Yes.

- And we'll give you the business.

That's Happy Holloway's, the more I give away,

- I think I'll have a snort of brandy in mine, you want some?

- No, thanks.

--Discount Stereo.

By the Way

how's Jason?

- Squirm around for me, Patricia.

Move around,

as if you're waiting for me.

I'm going to make love to your mouth, whore.

- Look, Jason, I really can't do this.

- You're not playing the game, Patricia.

- I don't know how.

- Permit me to instruct you.

- I asked you how Jason is.

- Martin, if you don't leave me alone, I'm not going to have time to get dressed.

What should I wear?

- Why don't you wear something blue?

You look good in blue.

- Everybody's seen me in blue.

Is this party really necessary anyway?

I got a lot of work to do you know.

- Do it tomorrow.

[bell ringing]

-L'u get it.

- You have no respect for my work.

- You're absolutely right

but I love your tits.

[bell ringing]

- Bastard.

- Package for Mr. Cooper.

- Do you know what it is?

- I really hate your attitude, Martin.

Who was at the door?

- I bet it's a book.

- What's that?

- I don't know. The kid just delivered it.

- It was a card. - Please open me

-before Christmas. - Who is it from?

- They got me.

Maybe there's a note inside.

Oh, I don't believe it.

- To my dearest Martin.

- There's an inscription.

- Do you remember the first Christmas you read this to me?

We were up at the old cabin and we lit a fire.

Never let the poetry go out of your life.

All my love-

Alex.

Alex?

When did you spend the night in the cabin with Alex?

- When was it? - Yes, Alex.

When did all this happen?

- The Christmas of his first year - The Christmas of my first year

-in college, darling. -In college.

You were away visiting your grandmother or something, remember?

- Or something.

- Hey, Pat, look at this.

It's a first edition.

Thank God. It must be worth a fortune.

Leave it to Alex.

She never forgets about my poetry.

- Yeah... leave it to Alex.

- If you do,

I'll always take it.

[chuckles]

- Did you sleep with her?

- What?

- Did you fuck her?

- Pat! - Well, did you?

- That was 12 years ago, Pat.

- What difference does it make now? - You did, didn't you, you bastard?

I was freezing my ass off in Connecticut and you were fucking Alex Carlson.

- Pat, we weren't even engaged then.

You didn't want to get tied down, remember?

- Remember.

I remember a lot of things.

I remember that I had already slept with you

and you told me that you could never love another woman the way you loved me.

- I never have

and I never could.

- You went right ahead and schtupped Miss Alex anyway, didn't you?

Did you do it with her on the bare rug

in front of the fireplace, for Christ's sake?

- No, no.

If I remember correctly,

we fumbled around on a scratchy wool blanket

and I came too quickly.

- Oh, I hate you sometimes.

You know that?

- Oh, Pat, that was 12 years ago.

One night Alex called me-

- Look, Martin, I've got a lot of work to do.

If I don't get this done, I won't get the promotion or the raise.

Then how are we going to make the house payment?

Maybe we could sell some of your great poetry.

- You really know how to aim for the balls, don't you?

- We'll be back after these messages.

- If your man is anything like mine, he works hard and plays hard.

He's a real man

and he needs a man's deal.

[phone rings] Dude, that's it.

Work like a real man.

- Hello? Oh, hello, Jason.

Martin.

What? No, nothing's wrong.

Yes. Look, can I call you back later?

Yes. Bye.

- Alex, are you really going to tell Martin about Pat and Jason?

They do seem to love each other.

- Love, Nicky, is something you will never understand.

- There are many different kinds of love, Alex.

- I know all about it, sweetheart.

- I doubt it.

For instance, I'll bet you didn't know that I still love you in my own way.

-[laughs] Oh, good, Nicky.

You can't even lie with a straight face.

You're just like Jason Starret.

- Now, that's a low blow.

- Not bad.

A lot better without this.

Damn sure.

[car hooting]

- Jason?

- Come in!

- Jason?

- Out in a minute.

Patricia, love.

- I hope I'm not late.

-L've been waiting for you.

- Care for a drink? - Sure. Scotch, please.

- Straight? - Mm-hmm.

- I think I'll join you.

You're wearing your hair differently?

Something different.

- No, not really.

Why?

- Well, you look somehow different.

Whatever it is, it's attractive.

Cheers.

- Whatever.

I had David drop some preliminary storyboards here

that I'd like you to look at.

- Good, good.

Fine.

- You could probably see them better over here.

- The view is fine from here, Patricia.

Just fine.

Open your blouse, Patricia.

I want to see your tits.

[laughter]

- Your gowns are hung in the bedroom.

I'm sure you'll want to freshen up.

- What's this?

- Well, it's a window, of course.

- Of course.

- This way, please.

Please, feel free to use anything you find.

There.

Well, Mr. Starret should be home soon.

I'll draw you a bath.

- Oh, did my husband Cliff call?

- No, Mrs. Ballard.

I've been here all day.

- Look at this room.

Come on, kid.

Cheer up.

Why don't you just call him again?

- Because he told me not to call

-unless it's an emergency. - Oh, God. Give me a break.

What's his number?

- It's 851-1100.

- Okay. It's ringing.

Wow, look at all these clothes.

Is he a clotheshorse or what?

- Yes, Mr. Starret does like to dress well.

- Hello. Yes, this is Mrs. Ballard.

Could you please ring Mr. Kanaka's room?

- Thank you. - Look at this.

Had it made for me.

- Is it nice? - Oh, yes. It's beautiful.

Oh, how pretty.

I've got it.

Well,

what do you think?

- A little too sexy.

I think you better wear the dress.

- Damn.

- What's wrong?

- I can't find him.

- Did you have him paged?

- I didn't think of that.

God, Jennifer, what am I going to do?

- Diane, don't start crying.

Why don't you dress,

fix your makeup,

and then you can come to the living room for a cocktail?

- What color is your dress? - The blue one.

- That's lovely. You all right?

- Oh, ha-ha-ha.

Will you look at this?

Jason Starret must be into some really juicy scenes.

- Those are from Mr. Starret's private collection.

- Look at this.

So big.

Jesus.

Do you think Jason is bi?

- You mean bisexual?

- Or maybe he just likes to dress up.

It's a riot.

- Well, Mr. Starret is a bit uh, eccentric.

If you'll excuse me, when you're ready,

I'll see you ladies in the living room for cocktails.

-L'd say he's a little bit weird.

I can just imagine what kind of afternoon Pat's having.

- Look,

would it make any difference if I said, I didn't want you to do this?

- You do want that promotion, don't you, Pat?

- That's dirty pool.

- You mean if I don't, you wouldn't-- - Power has its privileges.

- Oh, you're a rat.

You know that?

- You wanted this to happen, Patricia.

That's why you came here without a bra.

Just relax and enjoy.

- Jennifer, that's sick!

I know you think Pat Cooper craps cream cheese,

but she's got a hole between her legs just like we do.

- You're disgusting.

- I know what you and everybody else think of me.

You think I'm a scheming, manipulating bitch

who got her claws on a good thing.

Well, you're right.

I've got Foster, and I've got half of everything.

If he walks, I don't care.

Let him leave.

- You care all right.

You care more than you'll admit to.

I don't think you're a bitch.

See

you're not fooling anyone, Jennifer.

You may tell yourself you married Foster for his money,

but I know better.

What do you think will happen if I tell Foster about you

and Steve Jenkins?

- Alex, underneath that beautiful cold marble exterior of yours,

you're an incurable bitch on wheels.

- It takes one to know one, Nicky darling.

[music]

- That's a long way just to drive for lunch, Mr. Holloway.

Is this the restaurant?

- No, this is not the restaurant, and it's not Mr. Holloway.

It's Foster.

I'll show you the house lady.

Come with me.

Now, just stand here and close your eyes.

- Why?

- Don't ask questions.

Just close them.

- Close them. - Okay.

- They're closed? - Yes.

- Promise? - Yes, they're closed.

- You keep them closed.

okay

- Are they closed?

- Yes, they're closed.

[horse noises]

- Foster.

- Okay. Open them.

- Can we go for a ride?

- That's the idea.

Now get in.

Okay, giddyup

- Come on.

I love it out here.

- Who owns this?

- A friend of mine.

It's real private.

Never anyone to bother you.

- Nobody at all?

- Don't worry. I'm here.

My friend bought the place

so he could get out of the city once in a while,

you know, for a little peace and quiet.

Whoa,

whoa.

Woah.

Well, here we are.

- That's fantastic.

- I told you I'd take you to a nice place for lunch.

- Do we have to pick berries and stuff for lunch, Foster?

- Oh, no, no, no.

I'm going to pick you some nice juicy worms from under a rock.

- Oh, yuck. -[chuckles].

I was only kidding about the earthworms.

All the comforts of home.

Better than the sandwich in the shop, isn't it?

- Sure is,

but aren't we going to be awfully late getting back?

So?

- Well, Steve-- I mean Mr. Jenkins

gets awfully upset when anybody's late.

- Oh he does, does he?

Well uh, I don't think Steve,

Mr. Jenkins is going to mind since today you're out with his boss.

- I guess you're right,

but I can just see his face when I don't show up this afternoon.

- Oh, Jenny,

you wore me out.

- He watches you pretty close, does he?

I bet he does.

- Well--

- He should.

After all, you're a very attractive girl.

- Why Foster, I didn't even think you noticed me.

- Oh, I noticed you.

I noticed a lot about you.

- You did?

- Uh-huh.

-L'm getting hungry.

How about you?

- I sure am.

- That is private property.

- I was just teasing.

Hey, you want some wine?

I have some good wine.

[clattering of glass]

- To earthworms.

Good, huh?

- Foster,

I heard your secretary, Ms. Evans is leaving next month.

- Mm-hmm.

- Well...

I've been, uh, studying to improve my typing skills.

- That's good.

- Remember, you promised me a raise.

- Sure. Sure, I remember.

You'll get it.

- Well I think I could handle the job.

- Miss Jenny,

I am sure

you could just about handle anything.

- Jennifer.

- Jennifer.

- Jennifer.

- Foster.

- Jennifer. -[chuckles]

- Jenny. Jenny. Oh.

- Foster, come on. Stop it.

- Oh. I love you.

Oh. You are the most beautiful piece I've ever--

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

You got me crazy running around the office with no bra on at work.

- Foster, I really don't know you.

- Fuck you think this is for?

We know each other now.

Will you be my secretary?

- Oh, Foster, somebody could walk in here.

- Nobody can walk in here.

Nobody. Nobody.

- How do you know that? - I know! I know!

- Nobody. - How do you know?

- I know. Nobody could see us. Nobody.

- Fozzy, your friend could walk in! - He can't, he can't!

- What do you mean your friend can't walk in?

-L'm telling you he can't.

- What do you mean he can't?

He can walk right at the door and see us.

- He can't! I own it!

- I KNEW it!

- Oh God. You're beautiful.

- Foster!

- Yes.

- Foster, don't.

Come on, Foster.

- Oh, that's beautiful. - Foster, cut it out.

- Oh. [moans]

- Foster, don't.

- Oh,

Look at that.

[Unintelligible]

- Foster, cut it out.

All right, Foster, stop it.

- Oh, oh. [moans]

Stand up. Stand up.

Oh, stand up.

Oh.

- Foster, cut it out. Come on. - No, come on,

-please. - DonT.

- Oh, please. For Christ's sake, please.

It won't hurt. I promise. I promise it won't hurt.

- Foster, come on.

Stop it.

- Please, come on. After all, you've done it before.

- What do you mean by that?

- Now look, give me a break.

I wasn't born yesterday.

I know all about you.

- Oh, you're so good.

Oh, you make me so hot.

My private life is my business.

- Yeah baby,

but I want to make it my business.

- Foster, don't!

You could never give me what I really want!

- No, I'll give you what you want.

What do you want?

What do you want? A stereo? You want a car?

- What do you want? What do you want? - I sure don't want a quickie on the sofa.

- What do you want?

What do you want? I'll give you anything.

- You know what I want? -l'll give you what you want! Name it!

- I want to get married.

- Neven

I've been married.

It sucks and after all, what does a little pricktease

like you know about marriage?

- Maybe this will cool you off a little, Mr. Holloway.

You're not touching this pricktease unless you marry her.

There you go.

- Foster was always such a clown.

- You always underestimated him, my dear.

- Did I?

- I know what Foster will do

if I tell him about Jennifer and Steve Jenkins.

- He'll blow his stack.

- Among other things.

- You like that, baby?

- Yeah, don't stop.

Don't tease me, Steve.

[moans]

Oh, Foster!

Oh, Foster!

Oh, Foster!

[moans]

- You're some wild woman in bed, you know that?

Hey, it must be getting late.

Oh jeez, you better start getting dressed.

You hear me, honey?

- Yeah.

I'm not deaf.

- You better hurry.

It's getting late. You know how long it takes you.

-L'm not going.

- What do you mean you're not going?

- Are you deaf?

I said I'm not going.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

What should be wrong?

I just don't feel like going, that's all.

- Well, I'm going.

I wouldn't miss this party for the world.

- So go.

Who's stopping you?

- Jennifer, ever since you quit Holloway's, you've been dragging around

like you lost your best friend.

This party's going to cheer you up.

Everybody's going to be there.

- Yeah, everybody.

- Come on, Jenny.

I thought you gave up all those crazy ideas

about you and Foster Holloway.

- Mr. Holloway and me is none of your business.

- Aw Jenny,

you're like two different people, you know that?

A little while ago,

I was on top of the world,

and now it's like you don't even want me around anymore.

- Maybe it's your breath, Steve.

- Dammit, I'm going to get dressed before I freeze my balls.

- Merry Christmas.

It's just you and me, kid.

And a happy New Year.

- Poor Jennifer,

all alone on Christmas Eve.

- Steve Jenkins was really not her style, Alex.

She couldn't stand to be without a man

but she couldn't have the one she really wanted.

[knocking on the door]

- Who is it? - Foster.

- Who? - Foster Holloway.

You remember me?

- Just a second.

I've got to put something on.

[knocking on the door]

- Just a second. Just a second. - Come on, Jenny. Open up.

- What do you want?

As if I didn't know.

- You have such a smart mouth.

You know that? You really have such a smart mouth.

- Is that why you came here?

To tell me that?

- No.

- You look like you could use a drink.

- That's the first smart thing you said.

Do you have a scotch?

- Yes, I think I have some.

- Nice place.

-It's a dump.

- I guess it could use a little work.

- With a bulldozer.

- What?

-It's a weird couple living upstairs.

- What?

- With ice?

- No, no, no.

-It's a couple living upstairs.

When they start a fight, we hear a lot of banging.

- You got to be kidding.

Are you having one?

-It's over there.

Merry Christmas, almost.

- Merry Christmas.

- Why don't you sit down somewhere?

-L'm going to a party.

It's a surprise party for Cliff Ballard and his new wife.

I want you to come with me.

'WW me?

I heard you've been going out

with some classy broad named Alexandra Booth.

- Yeah, well, uh.. she's just a friend.

I know her from high school.

She doesn't mean anything to me.

Have you got a nice dress to wear or something?

- Yes, I've got something.

Why should I go with you?

I think we said all we had to say when I poured the wine.

- Here. Merry Christmas.

- What is it?

- Open it and see.

- Jesus.

Is this real?

- Of course it's real.

What do you think I'd do, give you a phony ring?

- Do you mean--

- Yeah yeah, I mean! I mean I wanna marry you.

Christ! I got to marry you!

You're driving me crazy.

All I do is think about you all day long.

Look, I'll write up a contract saying that

if it doesn't work out you get half of everything I own.

Boy, that's a good deal any way you'll look at it.

- What a beautiful proposal.

It's enough to make me fall head over heels.

- Look,

I'm no lover boy.

What do you want from me?

- You know what to do with your hands well enough.

Wow, that's a gorgeous ring, Foster.

I have to admit, you do have some good taste.

- I traded a friend in wholesale jewelry.

I had to give him some stereo equipment for it.

- Thanks a lot.

You really know how to charm a girl, don't you?

- No, I don't.

I don't, but I know what you need,

and I got it.

[music]

- You big Phony

You got a lot more than that going for you.

- Oh, Jenny. Do something before I go crazy.

- Stand up.

- Not now. The zipper's stuck.

You've been driving me crazy for so long.

Please, Jennifer.

- Maybe just a taste.

We'll be late for the party.

- Fuck the party.

[moans]

I waited for this.

- Oh, God.

Please don't let her tell Foster.

- Aren't you dressed yet?

- No, I think I'm going to go like this.

I'd be the toast of the party.

- Well, there was one thing I did admire about you, Nicky.

- What was that?

- The way you play the piano, of course.

- Oh. - You look stunning.

- Thank you. What a beautiful view.

- Yes, it is.

Uh, Darlene, would you introduce us?

- Of course. Diane Ballard, Jennifer Holloway.

This is Nick Booth.

- Yes, girls.

It's my dear, sweet Nicky.

- My ex. [laughs] - Very happy to meet you, Mrs. Ballard,

Mrs. Holloway.

I know your husbands,

but I've never had the pleasure of meeting you two lovely ladies.

I was married to an acquaintance of yours,

- Alex Carlson. - Oh, so you are the mysterious Mr. Booth.

So nice to meet you at last.

- Pleasure is all mine, Jennifer.

- Alex has never spoken of you at all.

Im not surprised, Diane.

Certainly, my personal preferences were a little bizarre for Alex.

Oh, Jason here at last and late as usual.

- Please, Nick, don't bitch.

It's been a long day.

- They're not here.

- None of them?

- Have you met everyone, Nick?

- Nick Booth?

-It's been a long time, Pat.

I've been looking forward to meeting you again.

- Cheers.

Oh, wow. Nick Booth, you haven't changed a bit, have you?

- Oh, I hope not.

You're looking well.

I 'll bet.

I'll get one of these.

- You better take it easy, Pat.

You can get pretty smashed on those fast.

- That's exactly what I had in mind.

- How was your afternoon?

- That's a long story, dear.

Things got a little more complicated than I thought.

- Oh, tell us all about it.

- Jennifer, give her a break, will you?

- Yeah, Jennifer.

One more drink?

- How was she? - The best.

- Then I'm going to go get dressed.

- Come on. I'll help you to the bedroom.

- I think we both better.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

- Hurry right back, Patricia darling.

- Fangool you too, pal.

- Jennifer, can you manage?

- Sure. Where are you going?

- I have to try the hotel again. Okay?

- Come on, Pat.

One step at a time.

- Oh God. I think I'm going to be sick.

- If you're going to be sick, be sick in here.

- Thanks a lot.

- Scream if you need help.

- Yes, Mr. Ballard, Cliff Ballard.

He's staying in Mr. Kanaka's room.

You have the number, so please have him call.

Thank you.

- Hi, Diane.

- Hi, Nancy. This is Mrs. Holloway.

Has there been any messages for me?

Did Mr. Holloway call?

What?

Nothing?

okay

thank you.

- Hi, Jennifer.

Diane said that Pat was in here.

- Martin.

We didn't know whether to expect you or not.

- What's that supposed to mean?

I told Pat that I'd be a little late.

- Pat is in the--

Hey

I thought we agreed no more of that.

- That was just a kiss

goodbye.

Thanks for coming.

You're a wonderful man, Martin,

and I hope Pat knows how lucky she is.

- Well, thank you kindly, ma'am.

You're pretty special yourself.

- Pat's not feeling so good.

I think she needs you.

Goodbye, Martin.

- Goodbye Jennifer.

I'm sure Foster will be here any minute.

- Don't hold your breath.

Pat, did you fall in?

- Jennifer, look who I found.

- How you doing, kid?

- You look great. - What took you so long, you big ape?

[music]

- You okay?

- No.

- Me neither.

- What's the matter with you?

-It's my wife.

She doesn't understand rne.

"Oh, yeah?

What is she, some kind of bitch on wheels?

Busting your balls a lot, yeah?

- Something like that.

- Funny.

My husband's the same way.

He wants me to be a housewife.

Have kids.

Wait on him hand and foot.

- Sounds like a jerk.

- No.

He's a nice guy.

In fact,

I love him a lot.

Except, I thought he ran off with another woman named Alex.

- Did he?

- I don't know.

I didn't even get a chance to tell him I was quitting my job.

- Pat, you wouldn't do that.

- Yes, I would.

It's a lousy job anyway,

and the boss is a complete bastard.

- You know something, kid?

- What?

- We got to stop meeting like this.

- Oh, Martin, I love you.

- Love you, too.

- You suck it to them, and you keep hitting them

until they can't forget you.

Understand? You know what I mean?

- Of course he knows what you mean, Foster.

How could anybody forget your Happy Holloway commercial?

"Come on in and we'll give you the business."

- Will you shut up for once?

- Okay, since you put it so beautifully.

- Thank you.

Then we can see just how beautiful you are without your lips flapping.

- God, you know I think there was a compliment in there somewhere.

- Just keep it up.

Just keep it up.

- Now, now, children, this is bad for the digestion.

Let's relax with a little after-dinner entertainment.

Did you bring those cassettes, Foster?

- Of course I did.

Listen, while they're watching, why don't we go in the den

and we can discuss the new advertising campaign?

- Foster,

you're beginning to bore rne.

Just relax and enjoy the show.

- All right, all right.

I get the message, I get the message.

Don't need a house to fall on me.

- Of course you don't.

NOW;

I have a big surprise for everybody here.

I persuaded Nick to bring along some cassettes of his own special films.

From what he tells me,

I think you'll all find them very interesting.

- Right, Nick? - He's into pornography.

- That's right, Jennifer.

I do dabble in the porn business.

It's one of the things Alex and I used to argue about quite a bit.

That and other things.

- Why, Nicky,

what other things? [laughs]

- I think you'll find this particular tape quite fascinating.

-L've got to go call the hotel before I go crazy.

- Listen, listen, listen.

He'll be here, believe me.

- Shut up and watch the movie, okay?

- Hello, this is Mrs. Ballard again.

Has Mr. Kanaka or Mr. Ballard picked up any messages yet?

- I can't wait to see their faces. - I can't wait to see their faces either

when you show them that porn cassette of Diane's, Nicky darling.

- Okay, as soon as they come in, please give it to them.

Thank you.

- How did everything go this afternoon?

Was she as good as you thought?

- Oh, Nick.

Better.

Wait till you see the videotape.

It'll make you so hot.

-L'm hot already.

Are you going to play that tape tonight?

- Nick.

Don't be tacky.

The tape's just for you and me.

- I can't wait.

[tape playing]

- She's jealous as hell.

She wants you all to herself.

- I know.

She's a selfish bitch.

Oh, yes. [laughs]

I can feel something coming up between us.

- It doesn't take long with your busy hands, sweetheart.

- Alex Booth?

- My God, it is Alex. - Oh my God,

I never knew a man could put this--

- Jesus, how could she do that?

- What do you think of her taste now, honey?

- I thought you'd all find this fascinating fun.

- Oh, go slow.

I can't take it all at once.

- I don't believe this. - Over here, let me help.

- And you're looking at it.

.[moans]

- Don't touch it, put it in.

- This is my party, Jack darling.

I want it nice and slow and gentle.

- The queen snob herself,

porno princess?

- Would you look at their faces?

I knew this would blow their minds.

[moaning]

- Not so hard.

- You were married to her?

- Not for long, dear.

- There.

Now, that's more like it.

[moaning]

- Jack, darling. [moans]

- That is Cliff.

Oh my God.

- That was a very cute double cross, Nicky, darling.

I forgot all about that old film I made with you.

- I wish you could have been there to see it.

I would have given anything to see your face.

- Oh, you just had to spoil my surprise.

- I think the word is revenge, Alex.

Besides, Cliff never got there to see it anyway.

- How did you manage that?

- His client is a friend of mine, but that's not important.

I didn't think you really wanted to ruin Diane's life.

- Well, you may have won this round, but the fight's not over yet.

- What does that mean? -[laughter]

Just you wait.

You'll see.

[moaning]

-[laughs]. - This isn't funny, Martin.

- Yes, Martin. What's so funny?

- Foster, look, it's very noble of you to lie.

- Lie? I wasn't lying.

I was at Kennedy Airport with her this afternoon.

- She had two tickets to Rome.

- What happened?

- You didn't tell him those juicy little secrets after all, did you, Alex?

- Of course not, silly.

I invited them to run away with me.

- You're kidding.

Talk about a double cross.

Who do you think I learned it from, darling?

- Would you really have done that?

- Of course not.

I knew they wouldn't go,

but I'm not sure they knew what they would be giving up

if I hadn't given them the choice.

- I went over to Alex's this morning.

We were going to drive to Atlantic City.

- Do what?

- Yeah [chuckles].

Sorry I beat your time, Foster,

but I couldn't do it either.

That's what's so funny.

All I did was buy a car for Pat

so she could come home from the office early.

I guess Alex had you waiting in the wings in case I didn't show up.

- That's bullshit. That's bullshit!

I never came in second to anybody, especially you.

You are lying.

- Wait a minute.

Look, Foster, you can't even keep your own wife happy.

Now what makes you think that

-you're going to keep Alex happy? - Stop it,

-both of you. - You know the thing I like best

about you, Alex?

- Yes, Nicky.

- Oh, that too.

Your positively evil mind.

[laughter]

- He wouldn't.

He loves you.

He couldn't leave you for Alex any more than I could leave Pat.

- I could leave Jennifer.

- Leave me where, Foster?

- Hi, Jennifer.

I was going to tell you about it later.

- Tell me what?

Did I miss something important?

Did you hear anything, Pat?

- All I heard was Martin said that he loved me.

- Where are you going?

- To the hotel.

I can't wait any longer.

I have got to know one way or another.

.[moans]

Oh, what are you doing?

- Maybe we should go with her.

- Oh no, we'll miss Miss Alex's tasteful performances.

- Shut up, huh?

Let's get out of here.

I don't want to give my advertising campaign to that pansy.

- Oh, he swings both ways.

Doesn't he, Pat?

- What?

Talk to you later about that.

- I want to see more of Miss Alex on her back.

- Will you shut up just for once?

- Make me.

[background moaning]

- Suit yourself.

[grunts]

[Spankin g s - Ow! Ound]

- Good night, everybody. -[laughter]

- Shall we?

- Patricia, darling, you're not leaving?

The party's just begun.

- Oh, well, we've had quite enough of your party for one day,

thanks.

Oh, and I won't be seeing you on Monday.

I quit.

- Patricia, love,

you can't leave me in the middle of a new campaign.

You got your promotion.

You earned it.

- You're absolutely right.

I'll leave you something to remember me by.

[muffled sounds]

Oh, and tell Mr. Booth good night for us.

- Besides, I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

- They may seem happy now, clear, but wait till next week.

- We won't be here next week.

- Oh, that's true.

Tell me, do you think I'll enjoy Rome this time of year?

- When you're with me, darling,

any place is heaven.

- Conceited bastard.

From one lover to another

That's the lover's game

No stops and starts and no broken hearts

Nothing and no one to blame

From one lover to another

All I want is you

Someone to hold me just for a while

After the night has begun

We can do it all together,

as long as our love's for free

No sad good byes,

no strings baby

That's just not for me

[scatting]

We can do it all together,

as long as our love's for free

No sad good byes,

no strings baby

That's just not for me

[scatting]

From one lover to another

From one lover to another

All I want is you

- Martin? - Yeah.

Jennifer, I thought I told you not to do that.

'Did you?