Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,144 --> 00:00:09,113
Hey, guys! How's it going?
So, check it out:
2
00:00:09,147 --> 00:00:11,248
Mom sent more photos
of possible beaches
3
00:00:11,284 --> 00:00:12,784
for this year's
family photo.
4
00:00:12,817 --> 00:00:15,586
So, wait, we're supposed
to go to a place we never go
5
00:00:15,621 --> 00:00:18,089
and put our arms around
each other like we never do,
6
00:00:18,124 --> 00:00:19,691
just to have a picture
we can send
7
00:00:19,726 --> 00:00:21,661
to people we don't like,
anyway?
8
00:00:21,695 --> 00:00:23,763
This year, there's a record
number of families
9
00:00:23,797 --> 00:00:25,064
we don't like
to send 'em to.
10
00:00:26,566 --> 00:00:28,968
Alex, the annual barefoot
family portrait on the beach
11
00:00:29,002 --> 00:00:32,305
is very important. I recently
started painting my toenails
12
00:00:32,339 --> 00:00:35,308
in the off chance that I could
get in this year's picture?
13
00:00:37,445 --> 00:00:40,414
Of course you can, Harper.
You're a Russo now.
14
00:00:40,448 --> 00:00:41,615
Oh, my gosh!
15
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,352
What am I gonna wear?
'Cause this is so drab.
16
00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:48,590
I need something
that says Russo.
17
00:00:48,624 --> 00:00:50,191
Oh! I know. I'll wear
that dress
18
00:00:50,226 --> 00:00:52,361
that says "Russo"
all over it.
19
00:00:53,797 --> 00:00:59,535
That I happened to have made
before I ever knew you people.
20
00:01:00,671 --> 00:01:01,671
Duh!
21
00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:12,016
And this is us:
making an entrance!
22
00:01:12,051 --> 00:01:15,587
And this is us:
shaking an entrance!
23
00:01:17,490 --> 00:01:21,159
[singing]
And cue the applause!
24
00:01:23,831 --> 00:01:25,398
Mom? Dad?
25
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,735
Please, buddy.
We weren't finished.
26
00:01:30,037 --> 00:01:32,071
Yeah, but my life is.
27
00:01:32,107 --> 00:01:35,009
up-tempo music playing]
28
00:01:39,949 --> 00:01:43,251
My name is Marty
I'm the pops of the Finkles
29
00:01:43,285 --> 00:01:46,588
And I'm Elaine
I'm the tops of the Finkles
30
00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:49,657
A dash of pizzazz
and a sprinkle of Finkle
31
00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:51,459
Is all that you will need
32
00:01:51,495 --> 00:01:53,362
To make this
whole night twinkle
33
00:01:53,397 --> 00:01:54,797
So, come one,
come all
34
00:01:54,831 --> 00:01:56,766
Give a snap
and a winkle
35
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:02,338
For the smallest of all,
and my favorite Finkle
36
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:03,907
[clearing throat]
37
00:02:03,942 --> 00:02:06,744
I don't want to.
38
00:02:08,746 --> 00:02:12,349
Please, buddy.
Come on!
39
00:02:14,788 --> 00:02:18,090
I'm Harper Finkle
the dinkiest Finkle
40
00:02:18,124 --> 00:02:19,558
More smiles,
sweets and cutes
41
00:02:19,592 --> 00:02:21,960
Than you
could ever thinkle
42
00:02:21,995 --> 00:02:27,833
Lights, camera, Finkle!
43
00:02:27,868 --> 00:02:31,371
And cue the applause
44
00:02:31,406 --> 00:02:33,441
[light clapping]
45
00:02:33,474 --> 00:02:37,777
Oh, you guys are so much
better than I remember.
46
00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:43,217
Well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze
47
00:02:43,252 --> 00:02:45,320
That the end will no doubt
justify the means
48
00:02:45,354 --> 00:02:47,389
You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease
49
00:02:47,423 --> 00:02:49,191
Yes, please
50
00:02:49,225 --> 00:02:50,959
But you might find out
it'll go to your head
51
00:02:50,994 --> 00:02:52,762
When you write a report
on a book you never read
52
00:02:52,796 --> 00:02:55,431
With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed
53
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,899
That's what I said
54
00:02:56,935 --> 00:03:00,070
Everything is not
what it seems
55
00:03:00,105 --> 00:03:04,074
When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams
56
00:03:04,109 --> 00:03:07,711
You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes
57
00:03:07,746 --> 00:03:12,283
Because everything
is not what it seems
58
00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:15,587
Everything is not
what it seems
59
00:03:15,622 --> 00:03:19,758
When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means
60
00:03:19,793 --> 00:03:23,062
Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things
61
00:03:23,096 --> 00:03:26,298
Because everything is not
62
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,436
What it seems
63
00:03:31,672 --> 00:03:33,406
Well, this is
certainly a surprise.
64
00:03:33,441 --> 00:03:34,774
You're tellin' me.
65
00:03:34,809 --> 00:03:36,576
Why aren't you guys
in Pittsburgh?
66
00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:38,079
Well, you'll be
pleased to know
67
00:03:38,113 --> 00:03:40,181
that we're here
to audition for a gig...
68
00:03:40,215 --> 00:03:43,050
...of the paid variety,
no less.
69
00:03:43,085 --> 00:03:45,786
That's great. 35 years
on the edge of show business
70
00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:47,622
has finally paid off.
71
00:03:47,657 --> 00:03:49,725
Paid off in spades.
72
00:03:49,759 --> 00:03:52,294
And diamonds and clubs
and hearts
73
00:03:52,329 --> 00:03:53,763
and the rest
of those jokers.
74
00:03:53,796 --> 00:03:55,531
We're aces, I tell ya!
75
00:03:55,566 --> 00:03:57,033
[giggling]
76
00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:58,902
Paid off
for you too, buddy.
77
00:03:58,936 --> 00:04:00,904
You're back in.
Just like the old days!
78
00:04:00,939 --> 00:04:03,107
Wait, stop. I can't work
a gig with you guys.
79
00:04:03,141 --> 00:04:04,708
I live here now.
80
00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:06,577
We're even putting her
in the family photo.
81
00:04:06,611 --> 00:04:10,581
We finally have enough
people for a human pyramid.
82
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,085
Come on, buddy.
83
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,321
The Finkles are gonna be
putting butts in the seats
84
00:04:16,355 --> 00:04:19,958
for Black Sea
Railways in Romania!
85
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:23,629
Lights, camera, Finkle!
86
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,064
In Romania!
87
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:30,203
And cue the applause
88
00:04:31,940 --> 00:04:33,640
Sorry, that's
just really catchy.
89
00:04:34,809 --> 00:04:36,877
Wait. You can't just
waltz back into my life...
90
00:04:36,912 --> 00:04:39,681
Harper, can I talk
to you for a minute, please?
91
00:04:39,715 --> 00:04:41,849
- B-R-B.
- Gesundheit.
92
00:04:41,917 --> 00:04:43,551
Ah...
93
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:50,226
OK, how can you not
want to go to Romania?
94
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:52,294
Your parents are so fun.
95
00:04:52,329 --> 00:04:55,164
I mean, look at their ironic
clothes and hairstyles.
96
00:04:59,870 --> 00:05:01,871
It's not ironic, it's tragic.
97
00:05:01,906 --> 00:05:04,207
Where do they get
their sense of dress?
98
00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,878
OK, well, what about how
they make everything a joke?
99
00:05:07,913 --> 00:05:09,914
Yeah, try living with them
for a few years.
100
00:05:09,948 --> 00:05:12,483
He's been making fun of
how old I am since I was seven.
101
00:05:12,518 --> 00:05:14,152
Seven!
102
00:05:16,623 --> 00:05:18,290
We're really sorry
to take your little lady
103
00:05:18,324 --> 00:05:19,625
away from you like this.
104
00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:22,061
What are you talking about?
105
00:05:22,095 --> 00:05:23,929
Word on the street
is you two lovebirds
106
00:05:23,964 --> 00:05:25,832
are quite a big ticket item.
107
00:05:25,866 --> 00:05:28,134
Oh!
108
00:05:29,837 --> 00:05:31,404
Me and Harper?
109
00:05:31,439 --> 00:05:34,341
Uh, no, sorry.
Harper is dating Zeke.
110
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:38,779
- Zeke Beakerman.
- Zeke Beak-erman? It rhymes!
111
00:05:38,813 --> 00:05:40,314
>[laughing]
112
00:05:40,349 --> 00:05:42,284
Must be a stage name.
113
00:05:42,318 --> 00:05:44,152
The last thing we need
is for our daughter
114
00:05:44,186 --> 00:05:46,655
to date another
"Johnny Stage Door."
115
00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:48,923
Being a couple of loose cannon,
undependable,
116
00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:49,959
showbiz-types
ourselves,
117
00:05:49,992 --> 00:05:51,893
we were hoping our daughter
118
00:05:51,928 --> 00:05:54,263
would wind up
with some nice, boring,
119
00:05:54,298 --> 00:05:56,232
accountable square
like yourself.
120
00:06:00,972 --> 00:06:02,172
Dad...
121
00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:04,007
Did they just call me
a boring square?
122
00:06:04,042 --> 00:06:07,177
Well, you are sort of...
a square.
123
00:06:07,212 --> 00:06:09,180
- Wha...?
- I mean that in the best way.
124
00:06:09,214 --> 00:06:11,149
- I...
- Like, you're not afraid to be yourself.
125
00:06:11,183 --> 00:06:13,685
You know... a boring square.
126
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,056
Everyone thinks
I'm a boring square?
127
00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:19,525
>[scoffing, laughing]
128
00:06:19,559 --> 00:06:22,194
They are not going to believe
this down at the Hobby Shop.
129
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:25,130
>[chuckling]
I can hear 'em laughing now.
130
00:06:29,404 --> 00:06:32,073
Finkles, I got
a question for you.
131
00:06:32,107 --> 00:06:35,209
Would you ever make your
kids take a lame family photo
132
00:06:35,243 --> 00:06:38,346
- while wearing the same
clothes? - It's not lame, Alex.
133
00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:40,214
It's a family tradition.
134
00:06:40,249 --> 00:06:42,084
The Finkles have a
family tradition, too.
135
00:06:42,117 --> 00:06:44,051
It's called,
whoever falls asleep first
136
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,188
gets a mustache
drawn on your face.
137
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:47,989
Guilty as charged!
138
00:06:48,024 --> 00:06:49,591
I'm a napper.
139
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:52,161
You guys are awesome.
140
00:06:52,196 --> 00:06:54,831
If Harper doesn't want
to be in your act, I'll do it.
141
00:06:54,865 --> 00:06:56,532
Wow. You'll do anything
142
00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:58,334
to get out of realizing
your brother's dream
143
00:06:58,369 --> 00:07:01,237
of forming a family pyramid
in the sand, won't you?
144
00:07:01,272 --> 00:07:02,773
Pretty much.
145
00:07:04,242 --> 00:07:07,211
"Alex Finkle" sure
sounds swell to me.
146
00:07:07,245 --> 00:07:08,479
Is this OK with you, buddy?
147
00:07:08,514 --> 00:07:09,781
Well, I don't wanna do it.
148
00:07:09,815 --> 00:07:11,483
I'm really loving
being a Russo. Oh...
149
00:07:11,517 --> 00:07:13,785
Hey, can I be the top
of the human pyramid?
150
00:07:15,621 --> 00:07:17,789
Sold!
Welcome to the Finkles, buddy.
151
00:07:17,824 --> 00:07:19,492
Rehearsal's at one o'clock.
152
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:22,395
And this is us
making an exit.
153
00:07:22,429 --> 00:07:27,066
>[up-tempo music playing]
154
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:29,235
Hey, be sure to turn that
thing off when we're gone.
155
00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:31,104
Don't want to waste
the batteries!
156
00:07:37,179 --> 00:07:38,546
>[music clicks off]
157
00:07:39,648 --> 00:07:42,150
Well, Alex, that was...
158
00:07:42,185 --> 00:07:44,753
I don't think you know what
you're getting yourself into.
159
00:07:44,821 --> 00:07:46,288
I'll be fine. I mean...
160
00:07:46,322 --> 00:07:47,890
You like being a Russo so much,
161
00:07:47,924 --> 00:07:50,359
it'll be cool for me to try
and be a Finkle for awhile.
162
00:07:50,394 --> 00:07:53,830
- Do you even know
where Romania is? [scoffing]
163
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:57,934
Yes. It's in Rome. Duh!
164
00:07:57,969 --> 00:07:59,937
I know my states.
165
00:08:01,039 --> 00:08:03,507
- She's right, you know.
- No, she's not.
166
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:06,710
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. D
in geography.
167
00:08:06,745 --> 00:08:10,281
Romania is a country
in Eastern Europe
168
00:08:10,316 --> 00:08:13,385
that's full of gymnasts
and vampires.
169
00:08:14,421 --> 00:08:15,922
Gymnasts and vampires?
170
00:08:15,955 --> 00:08:19,291
Maybe Justin can come with
and find a new girlfriend.
171
00:08:19,325 --> 00:08:21,726
Hey, I'm getting
the Finkle rhythm down.
172
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:24,931
And cue the applause
173
00:08:34,043 --> 00:08:36,478
I don't know what to do about
Alex without Theresa here.
174
00:08:36,512 --> 00:08:38,513
I mean, Theresa always
tells me what to do.
175
00:08:38,547 --> 00:08:40,548
Well, can't you just
tell Alex she can't go?
176
00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:41,649
You're her Dad.
177
00:08:42,486 --> 00:08:44,420
[scoffing chuckle]
178
00:08:46,523 --> 00:08:48,691
Well, Dad, whatever
you tell her to do,
179
00:08:48,725 --> 00:08:50,226
she's just gonna do
the opposite.
180
00:08:50,261 --> 00:08:52,062
Unless she knows
what you're gonna do
181
00:08:52,095 --> 00:08:54,997
and then she'll do
the opposite of that.
182
00:08:55,031 --> 00:08:58,834
So, we gotta find something
that's not opposite.
183
00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:02,373
[scoffing chuckle]
184
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:05,710
Max is right.
185
00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:08,346
We'll use reverse psychology.
We'll tell her she has to go,
186
00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:10,281
and then she won't want to.
187
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,483
That could work.
188
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,419
Good idea, Max.
Thanks for your help.
189
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:19,324
Harper, Justin told me
what your parents said.
190
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:20,659
And you don't have to worry.
191
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,962
I'm going to turn myself
into the boring loser
192
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,663
that your parents
want me to be.
193
00:09:26,568 --> 00:09:28,502
They didn't say
"boring loser."
194
00:09:29,804 --> 00:09:31,438
No, but they were
thinking it.
195
00:09:32,707 --> 00:09:34,842
Or at least I was.
196
00:09:36,211 --> 00:09:38,846
Why does everyone think
that I'm a boring loser?
197
00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:42,050
I am just as engaging
and entertaining as Zeke.
198
00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:44,920
Whoa, bro, not so fast.
199
00:09:44,954 --> 00:09:46,922
Are you the captain of three
different clogging teams?
200
00:09:46,957 --> 00:09:48,958
I don't think so!
201
00:09:48,992 --> 00:09:53,496
Oh, no! I didn't think about how
cool my clogging comes across.
202
00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:56,065
[groaning]
He is interesting!
203
00:09:58,736 --> 00:10:00,771
Zeke, wait.
Let's talk about this.
204
00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:03,440
No, no. If your parents
want me to change,
205
00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:04,708
then I'm gonna change.
206
00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:07,044
Starting today, I'm gonna
somehow suppress my urge
207
00:10:07,079 --> 00:10:10,348
to do a Double Stomp,
followed by the Mountain Goat.
208
00:10:10,382 --> 00:10:11,783
>[whimpering]
209
00:10:16,189 --> 00:10:19,692
All right. Later, Russos. This
Finkle's gotta get to rehearsal.
210
00:10:19,726 --> 00:10:22,561
Alex... I just wanted
you to know that
211
00:10:22,597 --> 00:10:26,299
we all want you to go
to Romania with the Finkles.
212
00:10:27,768 --> 00:10:28,969
OK. Love you. Bye.
213
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,207
Dad, that wasn't opposite
enough.
214
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:35,977
You should have
said something like:
215
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:40,681
"We want you to go
to Finkles with Romania."
216
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,619
[scoffing chuckle]
217
00:10:53,297 --> 00:10:55,898
Hey, guys, I thought of
something I can do in the act.
218
00:10:55,933 --> 00:10:57,333
Watch this.
219
00:10:57,368 --> 00:10:59,369
[simple drumroll plays]
220
00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:02,206
Pretty good, huh?
221
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,308
I think it's gonna pull
the whole show together.
222
00:11:04,342 --> 00:11:05,843
>[drumroll plays]
223
00:11:07,412 --> 00:11:08,412
>[together] Hacky.
224
00:11:08,446 --> 00:11:10,347
And you're late for rehearsal,
buddy.
225
00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:12,150
Only a couple of minutes.
226
00:11:12,184 --> 00:11:15,453
Show biz minutes are a million
times more precious than regular people minutes.
227
00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:18,858
Sorry.
I didn't know.
228
00:11:18,892 --> 00:11:21,327
You guys are a lot more
serious than I thought.
229
00:11:21,361 --> 00:11:22,595
You wanna be part
of this outfit,
230
00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:24,464
you gotta fly on
the straight and narrow.
231
00:11:24,498 --> 00:11:26,532
You wanna be part
of this outfit, don't you?
232
00:11:28,302 --> 00:11:31,605
A couple of regular people
minutes ago I did.
233
00:11:32,507 --> 00:11:34,374
Well, you better decide,
234
00:11:34,410 --> 00:11:36,244
'cause this crazy
show biz shebang
235
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,413
is a whole lot of
blood and sweat.
236
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,748
But, if you do it right,
you get the laughs,
237
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,719
you get the fame
and the moola!
238
00:11:46,322 --> 00:11:48,624
Well, fame and moola
sounds good.
239
00:11:48,658 --> 00:11:50,726
Actually, "moola"
sounds gross.
240
00:11:50,761 --> 00:11:53,363
Sounds something le
a French cow would say.
241
00:11:53,397 --> 00:11:55,999
"Moo-la-la."
242
00:11:56,867 --> 00:12:00,303
Yeah? Yeah? Nothing?
Really?
243
00:12:00,337 --> 00:12:01,604
You got moxie, buddy.
244
00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:05,176
In fact,
that's your new name...
245
00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:07,244
Moxie Finkle!
246
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,614
Try it on for size.
Walk it around a bit.
247
00:12:10,983 --> 00:12:14,519
"Moxie?"
Sounds like a dog's name.
248
00:12:14,554 --> 00:12:16,655
What's next?
Do I get my own squeaky toy?
249
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:19,024
Too much lip.
That's it. She's out!
250
00:12:19,059 --> 00:12:22,061
Aw, come on, Marty.
Give the rookie a break.
251
00:12:22,096 --> 00:12:24,130
Nope. I'm done with her.
252
00:12:24,164 --> 00:12:26,532
Sorry, I tried.
Hit the road.
253
00:12:26,568 --> 00:12:30,904
And if you hurry, you might make
that little family photo shoot.
254
00:12:30,939 --> 00:12:33,173
Smile big, sad clown.
255
00:12:34,343 --> 00:12:35,844
Looks like we've
gotta replace her.
256
00:12:35,877 --> 00:12:37,578
Hey, buddy,
how about telling Harper
257
00:12:37,613 --> 00:12:40,548
- to hightail it over here.
- Harper?
258
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:42,884
She's kind of happy
not doing this.
259
00:12:42,919 --> 00:12:45,254
Harper doesn't care
about being happy.
260
00:12:45,287 --> 00:12:47,689
Harper cares about
making other people happy.
261
00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:50,459
She's a Finkle!
262
00:12:52,562 --> 00:12:55,831
All right...
I'll be Moxie Finkle.
263
00:12:55,867 --> 00:12:58,668
Well, as long as we know
who's calling the shots now,
264
00:12:58,703 --> 00:13:00,170
let's get back
to business.
265
00:13:00,204 --> 00:13:03,607
We only got this place booked
for nine more hours.
266
00:13:03,642 --> 00:13:06,744
- What? Nine hours?
- Yeah.
267
00:13:06,779 --> 00:13:08,446
It's gonna take you
at least six hours
268
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,248
to learn how to
play the ukulele.
269
00:13:10,283 --> 00:13:13,519
And two more to do it
while you're juggling.
270
00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:16,455
That only leaves one hour
to learn all your lines.
271
00:13:18,692 --> 00:13:21,895
Homework? I thought this
was gonna be fun.
272
00:13:31,716 --> 00:13:34,895
OK, Alex on the Way Home,
If we don't come up with a new plan quick,
273
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:37,532
she's gonna be ending every
sentence for the rest of her life with:
274
00:13:37,565 --> 00:13:40,734
And cue the applause!
275
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,773
Theresa won't like me even more
if her family picture is ruined
276
00:13:45,807 --> 00:13:50,044
because one of her family
members is living on a train in Romania.
277
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:53,215
And not the family member
she'd be OK with.
278
00:13:58,689 --> 00:14:00,456
I'm telling Justin.
279
00:14:03,194 --> 00:14:05,663
OK, what would Theresa
do in this situation?
280
00:14:05,697 --> 00:14:08,666
Well... Mom and Alex
usually have these
281
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,335
heart-to-heart girl-talk
kind of things by themselves.
282
00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:13,204
Out on the terrace.
That's where they do it.
283
00:14:13,238 --> 00:14:15,005
You're right again, Max.
284
00:14:15,041 --> 00:14:17,008
And since you're so good
at filling in for Mom,
285
00:14:17,043 --> 00:14:18,243
why don't you do that?
286
00:14:19,513 --> 00:14:20,780
Why not Harper?
She's a girl.
287
00:14:20,813 --> 00:14:24,950
Oh... Harper's been completely
useless in this situation.
288
00:14:28,189 --> 00:14:31,391
I'd be upset, but you saying
that to my face like that...?
289
00:14:31,426 --> 00:14:33,927
It makes me feel like
I'm part of this family.
290
00:14:34,929 --> 00:14:35,862
[door opening]
291
00:14:35,897 --> 00:14:38,065
[groaning] I'm exhausted.
292
00:14:38,099 --> 00:14:41,101
All right, here she is.
Go girl-talk it up.
293
00:14:43,973 --> 00:14:45,106
Alex?
294
00:14:46,408 --> 00:14:49,344
Can I talk to you
out on the terrace, please?
295
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:55,484
Well, that's weird, so yeah.
296
00:15:03,427 --> 00:15:07,063
Come on. You and Mom
usually stand over here
297
00:15:07,099 --> 00:15:08,899
and look out
over the city.
298
00:15:13,905 --> 00:15:16,207
So listen, mija,
299
00:15:16,242 --> 00:15:18,977
when we were saying you should
go to Romania before,
300
00:15:19,012 --> 00:15:20,879
we were really saying
you shouldn't go.
301
00:15:20,913 --> 00:15:23,448
Max, I know. Reverse psychology.
I got it.
302
00:15:23,484 --> 00:15:25,284
Right. So, now I'm saying
you shouldn't go.
303
00:15:25,318 --> 00:15:27,486
I'm not. I already decided
how I'm getting of it.
304
00:15:27,521 --> 00:15:29,555
- So, you're not going?
- No.
305
00:15:30,324 --> 00:15:31,658
Oh, I got you.
306
00:15:31,693 --> 00:15:34,662
>[chuckling] So you're using
reverse psychology on me.
307
00:15:34,696 --> 00:15:36,463
No, I'm really not going.
308
00:15:36,498 --> 00:15:38,298
The more you say
you're not going,
309
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,200
the more I know
you actually are going.
310
00:15:42,905 --> 00:15:43,972
Good talk, Max.
311
00:15:45,808 --> 00:15:48,009
But wait, Alex, we were
supposed to hug now.
312
00:15:50,981 --> 00:15:53,683
My little girl is
growing up so fast.
313
00:15:53,717 --> 00:15:55,418
What happened? What happened?
314
00:15:55,452 --> 00:15:57,853
She went upstairs and
didn't tell us what she's doing.
315
00:15:57,888 --> 00:16:01,757
Well, she's going.
She's definitely going.
316
00:16:01,793 --> 00:16:05,829
- She didn't even hug me.
- Oh, no.
317
00:16:05,863 --> 00:16:07,664
What are we gonna do now?
318
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,867
Well, I've lived with you
Russos for some time now
319
00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,501
and it seems like most
of your problems
320
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,137
are solved right after chaos.
321
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,540
So, maybe that's what we
should do. We need chaos.
322
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,942
>[together] Right.
323
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:19,744
Chaos could blow
the audition for Alex.
324
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:22,681
See, she's not
that useless.
325
00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:24,516
Aw, thanks for the compliment.
326
00:16:24,552 --> 00:16:26,886
I can hear you when you when
you do the... that, yeah.
327
00:16:35,997 --> 00:16:39,400
Did Alex get into
Mommy's makeup again?
328
00:16:41,636 --> 00:16:43,070
OK, good, so it's working.
329
00:16:43,105 --> 00:16:46,240
I'm off to go blow my audition.
It's go time or no time!
330
00:16:47,910 --> 00:16:49,911
Why would you sabotage
the audition?
331
00:16:49,946 --> 00:16:52,013
Because I don't want to go
to Romania anymore.
332
00:16:52,049 --> 00:16:54,584
Oh, so you'd rather
be a Russo than a Finkle?
333
00:16:54,618 --> 00:16:56,252
I know. Weird, right?
334
00:16:57,321 --> 00:17:00,356
Turns out the Finkles
really stink-le.
335
00:17:00,391 --> 00:17:01,458
>[chuckles]
336
00:17:02,727 --> 00:17:04,461
All right, well,
now it's a toss up.
337
00:17:05,663 --> 00:17:08,766
The truth is, if I don't go,
Harper has to go.
338
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:11,669
And I don't want her to leave.
So, the only solution is
339
00:17:11,704 --> 00:17:13,438
to ruin it so nobody can go.
340
00:17:13,471 --> 00:17:17,040
Well, if there is one thing
you're really good at, it's ruining things.
341
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,778
Aw, thank you.
342
00:17:22,949 --> 00:17:27,753
And the smallest of all
and my favorite Finkle...
343
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,689
>[not singing]
I'm Alex Finkle.
344
00:17:32,293 --> 00:17:34,494
>[both whispering]
Moxie Finkle.
345
00:17:35,697 --> 00:17:37,331
I'm Moxie Finkle...
346
00:17:37,365 --> 00:17:40,000
...the smallest of all,
and my favorite Finkle.
347
00:17:41,304 --> 00:17:42,805
>[muttering]
I just said that part.
348
00:17:44,507 --> 00:17:46,675
Oh, I'm sorry.
349
00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:50,578
Am I messing this up in front
of the Romanian producers?
350
00:17:50,613 --> 00:17:52,915
Gymnast and vampire,
figures.
351
00:17:54,984 --> 00:17:57,619
Why don't we just quit
while we're ahead?
352
00:17:57,654 --> 00:18:00,055
Well, looks like somebody
fried their old brain
353
00:18:00,090 --> 00:18:02,392
watching too much of
the old boob tube.
354
00:18:02,426 --> 00:18:04,327
[laughing]
355
00:18:04,362 --> 00:18:07,364
That's not all she fried.
Get a load of that crazy 'do.
356
00:18:07,399 --> 00:18:08,999
Who does your
hair and make-up, Moxie,
357
00:18:09,035 --> 00:18:11,002
a near-sighted
orangutan?
358
00:18:11,036 --> 00:18:13,904
>[laughing]
359
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:18,342
This is the perfect comedy
for our train!
360
00:18:18,377 --> 00:18:19,978
The people will love it.
361
00:18:20,013 --> 00:18:21,681
">[chuckling]
362
00:18:21,714 --> 00:18:24,049
What?
No, no, no!
363
00:18:24,084 --> 00:18:26,252
I've gotta get out of here
before they put me on a train.
364
00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:32,992
- What are you doing?
- Proving to the Finkles that I am not a boring square.
365
00:18:33,027 --> 00:18:35,495
I am exciting!
366
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:37,097
I'm gonna use
the "Ham It Up" spell.
367
00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:40,234
Tell some jokes
all old and clammy.
368
00:18:40,269 --> 00:18:42,737
Then make me act
all bold and hammy.
369
00:18:48,979 --> 00:18:50,112
>[swallowing]
370
00:18:54,017 --> 00:18:56,185
>[piano music playing]
371
00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,388
>[humming] Ha!
372
00:19:01,826 --> 00:19:03,226
Hello there, Finkles.
373
00:19:03,261 --> 00:19:05,262
Mind if I "choo" up
little scenery?
374
00:19:05,297 --> 00:19:06,397
>[together] Justin?
375
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:08,899
A-choo, a-choo, a-choo,
and a-choo!
376
00:19:08,934 --> 00:19:10,268
>[chuckling]
377
00:19:10,302 --> 00:19:12,169
Would you guys get
a load of these two?
378
00:19:12,204 --> 00:19:15,039
I mean seriously,
their act stinks so bad,
379
00:19:15,073 --> 00:19:17,541
onions cry when
they watch it.
380
00:19:17,577 --> 00:19:20,679
- Am I right, Romanians?
[laughing]
381
00:19:21,615 --> 00:19:23,449
Aw, Justin! What is this?
382
00:19:23,483 --> 00:19:25,417
Boy, was I wrong about you.
383
00:19:25,452 --> 00:19:27,887
Yeah, quit stealing our thunder.
You're gonna ruin our audition.
384
00:19:29,090 --> 00:19:30,324
Oh, really?
385
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:34,093
Then, let's ruin it
some more.
386
00:19:36,498 --> 00:19:37,531
>[swallowing]
387
00:19:39,935 --> 00:19:42,569
A one, a two, a one, two, three!
388
00:19:43,339 --> 00:19:45,273
[piano music playing]
389
00:19:45,308 --> 00:19:47,776
Hey, everybody, I haven't
seen an act this bad
390
00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:50,145
since my brother starred
in Vida Romania.
391
00:19:50,179 --> 00:19:51,780
[laughing]
392
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,150
Oh, Moxie, not you, too?
393
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:59,255
All right,
time to create chaos.
394
00:20:00,058 --> 00:20:01,725
I'll throw the first tomato.
395
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:05,562
Shh. Wait. Listen.
396
00:20:05,597 --> 00:20:07,198
Do you smell that?
I smell ham.
397
00:20:07,231 --> 00:20:10,567
>[sniffing] Spiral cut,
hind quarter.
398
00:20:10,602 --> 00:20:13,504
Probably on sale. This way.
399
00:20:15,641 --> 00:20:17,976
- Hey, brother o' mine?
- What's up, sissy-poo?
400
00:20:18,011 --> 00:20:19,345
I'll tell you what's down.
401
00:20:19,379 --> 00:20:21,347
Stocks on those two
knuckleheads right here.
402
00:20:21,381 --> 00:20:23,916
- Sell, sell, sell!
[laughing]
403
00:20:23,950 --> 00:20:26,719
-
Bo-bo-bo-bo
-
Ba-ba-ba-ba
404
00:20:26,753 --> 00:20:30,322
[all singing randomly]
405
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:33,827
[panting]
406
00:20:33,862 --> 00:20:36,330
Say, Doc,
what's wrong with me?
407
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:40,301
- You got two weeks to live!
- Oh, no. I want a second opinion.
408
00:20:40,335 --> 00:20:42,536
All right.
You're ugly, too.
409
00:20:42,571 --> 00:20:44,138
>[all laughing]
410
00:20:46,743 --> 00:20:48,276
Ow, ow!
411
00:20:48,311 --> 00:20:52,180
Stop! Stop this
perfect train comedy!
412
00:20:52,216 --> 00:20:54,150
We've made a decision.
413
00:20:54,184 --> 00:20:58,721
You won a job with
the Black Sea Railways!
414
00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:02,426
Well, this is some
kind of rigmarole.
415
00:21:02,459 --> 00:21:06,095
Yeah. These two goofballs
just high-jacked our set.
416
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:08,366
Oh, not to worry, Finkles.
417
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,235
We have another
gig available...
418
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:14,772
...in Youngstown, Ohio!
419
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,608
- We'll be in touch.
[gasping]
420
00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:18,243
Did you hear that?
421
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:22,081
- Nobody's better than us.
- How do you like that?
422
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:25,918
Ah. That took a lot less
chaos as I thought it would.
423
00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:28,755
I'm sorry, Finkles.
I'm dating your daughter.
424
00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:29,929
I'm not dating you.
425
00:21:30,225 --> 00:21:33,927
So, tonight, I'm expressing
my love for Harper
426
00:21:34,163 --> 00:21:37,665
through the time-honored art
of the clog!
427
00:21:49,661 --> 00:21:51,996
I hope it's OK that I'm not
going to Youngstown with you.
428
00:21:52,030 --> 00:21:55,733
It sure is, buddy. We were wrong
to make you do that before.
429
00:21:55,768 --> 00:21:58,003
We can see now that
you got a real sweet deal
430
00:21:58,037 --> 00:21:59,905
with these Russo characters.
431
00:21:59,939 --> 00:22:01,239
I sure do.
432
00:22:01,275 --> 00:22:03,542
And we got a sweet deal, too.
433
00:22:06,679 --> 00:22:08,513
See ya, buddy.
434
00:22:08,548 --> 00:22:11,150
And this is us...
making an exit.
435
00:22:11,184 --> 00:22:12,985
[up-tempo music plays]
436
00:22:13,021 --> 00:22:16,690
Ah, show business!
437
00:22:22,897 --> 00:22:24,665
[music clicking off]
438
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:26,434
That was weird.
439
00:22:26,484 --> 00:22:31,034
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33533
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
