All language subtitles for Wizards Of Waverly Place s03e19 Maxs Secret Girlfriend.eg

Good morning, Alex.

[grunts]
What's so good about it?

This morning, my mom made me
butterfly-shaped waffles.

I mean, it's the crack of dawn,
stop being adorable.

I made those.
Your mom is right.

We should just
give you dry toast.

Is Max talking
to a girl?

I say three seconds before she
yells "gross" and runs away.

[giggles]

She's not running away.

Let's see if we can't figure out
what's wrong with her.

I know it's here
someplace.

This morning, I took it
from my bag of dead things.

Give me a second.

Here it is!
All right, my lizard.

Well, most of him. His tail
turned to crumbs in my pocket.

Oh, wait,
is this cookie crumbs?

[smacks]

No, that's lizard.

- Here you go.
- Aww.

You know what they say,
"If you love something let it go,

if it doesn't come back it was
never yours in the first place."

But, Tom, it's dead.

Max? Hey!

Did you just give this girl
your most prized possession?

You let her have
your dead lizard?

But you got all worked up

when I wanted to turn it
into a barrette.

- Tom, who are these people?
- I have no idea, Nancy.

And for your information,
total strangers,

we're going to
some place in the school

where we actually
know people. [laughs]

[laughs]
Tom, you're so funny.

[guffaws] I know, right?
Isn't Tom a riot?

Look, Nancy, it's been a
pleasure meeting both of you,

but, um, I need to talk
to my new friend Tom alone.

OK. I'm going to wood shop
to make a shadow box

- to display my dead lizard.
- OK.

Aw, that's how it all
started with me.

Shadow boxes
are a gateway craft.

Guess what, Tom?

You've been caught
in some kind of lie and I,

being the Queen of All Lies,
need to know what it is.

Well...

[sighs] Nancy has been
my girlfriend for a while.

- [gasps] Oh, my gosh,
you have a girlfriend! - [squealing]

Max, you have a girlfriend.

Wait, wait. OK. OK.
OK, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What's wrong with her?
Booger eater? Bathroom snacker?

Snort laugher?
What is it?

All that. That's what makes
her great. She's super gross.

- Aww.
- Aww, you're gonna be together forever.

Do me a favor, though.
Don't tell Mom and Dad.

I'm afraid they're
gonna do something

really embarrassing
and scare her away.

Max, I appreciate you wanting
to lie about having our parents,

but changing your first name
isn't going to fool anyone.

Oh, no, I know.
But I changed my last name, too, to Sawyer.

- [scoffs]
- [laughs]

- This kid.
- Tom Sawyer?

- Yeah.
- That's such an obvious lie.

It's the name from
the Rush song.

And the classic book.

Wow, that song was good,
I didn't know they made a book out of it.

Well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze

That the end will no doubt
justify the means

You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease

Yes, please

But you might find out
it'll go to your head

When you write a report
on a book you never read

With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed

That's what I said

Everything is not
what it seems

When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams

You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes

Because everything
is not what it seems

Everything is not
what it seems

When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means

Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things

Because everything is not

What it seems

Sync by YesCool
WwW.Addic7ed.com

Justin! Justin!
Guess what? Guess what?

- Max has a girlfriend.
- [squealing]

Girlfriend!
It is so cute.

The whole relationship
is based on a lie.

[laughs]
I've taught him so well.

What are you talking about?

Max told his new girlfriend,
Nancy, that his name was Tom Sawyer

so that he wouldn't be
embarrassed by your folks.

Maybe he should have gone with
a name a little less obvious,

like Scooby-Doo.

This lie could easily unravel.

Alex, huge problem.
My lie is falling apart.

[strums]

- [mouths] Sorry.
- Wait, what?

Yeah, Nancy wants to come over
to meet Mom and Dad now.

[strums]

OK, not a problem.
Not a problem.

This is, um...

This is the exciting
part of lying.

It's when we get to use
our imagination

to make the lie
even more spectacular.

I know. I just wish there was a
way Nancy could meet Mom and Dad

without actually
meeting Mom and Dad.

Oh, OK.

Justin and I can use a spell
to make each other look ancient.

You know, like how
Mom and Dad look.

Why should I do that?

Because your parents
are a little embarrassing.

All my girlfriends
have met my parents.

It's been fine.

That's because anyone
who dates you

is even more embarrassing
than Mom and Dad.

- Oh!
- [strums]

Oh.

Wait for me,
will ya? [grunts]

I can't believe you talked me
into this again.

Oh, it's going to be the best
Civil War reenactment ever.

- [scoffs]
- This year,

I get to be the first
casualty of the battle.

I get to lay around all day
eating trail mix.

Jerry, putting one peanut
in a bag of chocolates

doesn't make a trail mix.

OK, we need to be the same age
as Mom and Dad.

Ah-ha! Perfect!
Middle age spell.

But Mama says she's years
away from middle age.

She also says people mistake
her for your sister.

Her words mean nothing.

All right, well,
let's do it.

[sighing]

Make us old and barely alive,
age us up to 35.

Wow. Nice spare tire.

Nice frosting job
to hide the grays.

Well, I am clever.

Whoa, nice gut,
Justin.

Looks like I dodged
a bullet with you.

[guffaws]

Just more to love.

Look. Check out
my bingo wings.

- Bingo!
- Ew.

All right, look, I decided
to help you guys out

by pretending to be
an old family friend.

I'm not good at lying, so I
wrote myself some cue cards.

Name a topic.

- Horses.
- Ah.

Weather... bagels... animals.

Come on animals.

I got nothing.

They're coming.
Check it out.

I'm hunched over
like an old man,

- because of my big gut.
- [Alex chuckles]

Hey, wait. Check out this
laugh that turns into a cough.

[laughs, coughs]

Are you OK?

- [mouths] I'm good.
- Oh.

[whistling]

- Oh, honey,
we have company. - Ah!

- Hey.
- Hello, son.

- I love you, Daddy.
- Who am I?

- He's my daddy.
- Yeah.

You must be Nancy.
Pleasure to meet you.

- I'm Mr. Sawyer. You...
- Aye.

This is my wife over here,
Diane.

Ah, Diane Sawyer,
nice to meet you.

I'm a lot older than I look.

If you happen to say something
funny, you'll see.

[chuckles]
It's nice to meet you.

- [laughs, coughs]
- Oh, sweetie. Oh, no.

Hello. You guys aren't talking
about horses, are you?

Well...

Didn't I meet you
in school the other day?

You did meet her in school
the other day because she's our daughter's friend.

Our daughter's only friend,
just to clarify.

[laughs]

You know, you definitely chose
the right son, Nancy,

because our other son is so
uptight and boring...

And his sister doesn't stick
to plans and takes cheap shots.

We are here trying to talk
in front of these people...

[shushes] But, we are here to
talk about our son, Tom Sawyer.

Just the other day, Nancy,
let me tell you,

he whitewashed
the entire picket fence.

- Isn't that right, honey?
- Yes, he did.

- Yes, he did.
- That he did.

- What does "whitewash" mean?
- I don't know.

It was never mentioned
in the song.

It took me hours to get
dressed up like this,

and in 20 minutes
you get us kicked out.

I'm sorry, the flyer said
no flash photography

or tube socks. Nobody said
that I couldn't dip fries

in my ketchup blood
when I was dead.

Wait!
What's going on here?

Hi, I'm Nancy Lueke.
Tom's girlfriend.

OK, Nancy, these are
my parents' friends.

We probably don't want to stick
around this old people party

'cause they're probably
going to do something old,

like, you know,
call on an old telephone.

[imitating a rotary phone]

Let's go.
Come on, this way.

- This way.
- Wait a minute.

Why is that girl
calling Max "Tom",

while you two look like
you did some spell to look 35?

We did a middle-age spell.

[both] Thirty-five
is not middle-aged!

What's going on here?

[sighs]

OK, Mom. I'm not
gonna lie to you.

Um...

Justinnd I are on our way
to an old people reenactment.

And I'm pretty
excited about it

because Justin gets
to have a heart attack.

[Justin] That is not the truth.

OK, this is the gonna hurt
you guys but,

we're pretending to be
you because Max thought

that you would embarrass him
in front of his new girlfriend.

- Us?
- Us?

I was just being myself.

For example, if you asked me
about something random,

like, I don't know, horses,

I would say something
along the lines of:

Did you know a horse's head
weighs 11.84 pounds,

but his heart only weighs ten?

Yeah.

I'm not good at this.

Max, is it true?
Are you embarrassed by us?

But we're the young,
cool parents.

I mean, who else would
dress like this?

Kids love the Civil War.

Um, look, Mom, Dad,
I didn't do this

'cause I was embarrassed
by you guys.

- You didn't?
- No, I...

I did this because
I didn't want Nancy to know

I'm Justin's and Alex's brother.

[laughs] Oh!

What?!

Everywhere I go, people expect
me to be as devious as you are

or as smart as you are.

I just wanted somebody who
doesn't compare me to anybody.

Because I have a feeling
I'll only be good when I'm not compared to anybody.

Aw, Maxie,
I understand.

It's hard being
the youngest of three.

I can't believe he's getting
all of your sympathy.

He's the one
that was lying.

I don't get your sympathy
when I lie.

I'm no expert, but that's
probably why I keep doing it.

Maxie, telling the truth
is the only way

to have a real relationship.

If you're gonna have
a girlfriend,

you have to show her
who you really are.

If you come clean,
I think she'll like you more.

All right.
All right, I'll do it.

[scoffing]

Yeah, good lucwith that.

The truth is only good
for two things:

getting grounded and getting
someone else grounded.

- Speaking of grounded...
- Um...

You know if you weren't
gonna say anything, I was.

- What are we gonna do with her?
- [scoffs]

Hey?

Mr. Sawyer, nice to meet you.

Oh, man,
being old is hard.

Let me tell you,
when I get old,

I'm just gonna sit around
and read magazines.

That's what you do anyway.

I'm practicing for later.

I did it.
I told Nancy the truth.

We are very proud
of you, Max.

Aw, isn't it easier telling
the truth, honey?

It really is.

I am so relieved
I told her I'm a wizard.

- [sputters]
- [gasps]

[all] You what?!

Max, when I told you
to tell the truth to Nancy,

I meant to tell her the
truth about being a Russo

not about being a wizard!

You wanted me to tell the truth
but not the whole truth?

This truth thing is confusing,
Mom, to tell you the truth.

Yeah, I mean, you tell the
truth, you get in trouble.

You lie, you get in trouble.

We're probably just better off
not talking to each other.

What did Nancy say
when you told her?

She didn't really believe me.

- Ah.
- Phew.

- Thank goodness.
- Whew.

Max, you really need
to work on how

you give out information
when you tell a story.

I mean, if I had a ketchup
bottle in my hand

when you said you told her,
I would've squeezed it

and ketchup would've
been everywhere.

[all laughing]

Harper, please
hand me the ketchup?

Oh.

But then I took her on a magic
flying carpet ride

and she totally
believed me.

[yells]

Man, it was so much fun,
we even got hit with bird poop.

You did what?

[speaks loudly]
We got hit with bird poop.

Nancy Lueke
has seen magic!

I'm gonna file
a wizard incident report.

And if you don't fix this,

I'm gonna sign it
and I'm gonna send it.

We cannot be wizards exposed!

Max, what if this
Nancy Lueke sells her story to the magazines, huh?

We'll be hounded
by paparazzi.

We won't be able to go anywhere
without somebody wanting to take our picture.

Wait a minute.

You guys are worrying
way too much.

Nancy promised she
wouldn't say anything.

Trust me. She's dying
to tell someone.

The only reason I haven't told
anyone is because I live here

and I don't want
to get kicked out.

Well, there you go. We have
Nancy move in. Problem solved.

[laughs] Nancy's parents
are not as cool as mine

to let her live here.

Don't say anything.

The only reason
this situation makes sense

is because I tell myself
my parents are cool.

All right, all we have to do
is convince Nancy

we're not wizards.

I can't believe
I'm about to say this,

but we need to come up with
a really big lie.

Uh-uh.
Don't look at me.

I'm starting
to think that lying

isn't the best
thing in the world.

Oh, you do not clean up your
act now, young lady.

Harper, would you hand me
an eclair, please?

Well, Nancy's gonna be
here in an hour

for another magic
flying carpet ride.

- Did I forget to mention that?
- An hour?!

We're in the face
of an emergency

and you're kicking back
reading a magazine?

Flipping through a magazine
is how I come up with my lies.

- I've got it.
- You do?

I know how Jennifer
can get Brad back.

[Justin] Wow.

She has nothing.

Justin, you got anything?

I've got it. But I'm
gonna need a blender,

a box spring and your
ten speed bike.

OK, but I'm gonna need a half
an hour to make a smoothie,

take a nap and...
find that bike.

[drilling]

Mom, what's Justin
doing back there?

I really like this girl.
This is why I didn't want her

to know I was related
to any of you.

It's making sense
to all of us now, son.

- I've got a plan.
- Oh, good,

because Nancy Lueke's
gonna be here any minute

and I don't know how
that chaos outside is going to help us.

There's only
one thing we should do.

We have to stick
to the truth

and accept the consequences
of our actions.

[drilling continues]

It is so sad
to see you this way.

[doorbell rings]

She's here.
[gasps]

Jerry,
what are we gonna do?

I don't know. I'm still
a little groggy from my nap.

[sighs]

- Hey, wizard boyfriend.
- Hi, Nancy, come here for a minute.

Look, I know you came for your
magic flying carpet ride,

but there's something
I gotta tell you.

- I'm really not a wizard.
- Of course you're a wizard.

You told me how your
brother and sister

used magic to make
themselves look old.

And how you have a wizard lair,
there's a wizard world and a wizard competition.

Is there anything
you didn't tell her?

Yeah, I didn't tell her
about the dragon dog,

'cause I still have no idea
what happened to that.

Nancy Lueke, come on out.
Everything's all set.

Just right through here.

- OK.
- Look!

It's the magic flying carpet
Max took me on...

- Mm-hmm.
- ...attached to a bunch of garbage.

This is very exciting, yes,
it is a carpet, all right.

But it's not magical, no.

It moves because it has a motor
and gears and springs.

- We're not a family of wizards.
- [all laugh] No.

We are a passionate,
amateur special effects enthusiasts family.

Yes. Yes, that is what we are.

We are ama...
special, what?

I always thought this family
would be brought down

by some strange creature
from another dimension,

not by a little girl
from...

- Where are you from, sweetie?
- Riverdale.

There you go.
Rich kid.

Hmm.

OK, hop on our non-magic
flying carpet.

Very non-magical.

Right here. OK, you guys ready
for quote unquote "take-off?"

As they would say.

- [clicks]
- [whirring]

- [clattering]
- [ticking]

Mom, Dad, the screen.

[clears throat] Were you flying
over New York City, like this?

[mooing]

Nice try but I know
the difference

between bulls and New York.

Wrong button. Like I said,
amateur special effects enthusiasts.

[Max] Whoa! It looks like
we're flying.

OK, I'll give you that.

But I'm not stupid. It was
windy when we were flying.

Yes, it was windy.
Perhaps like this?

[clicks]

[whirring]

Yes, yes,
that's the wind.

But we got hit
by bird poop.

I don't see
any bird poop here.

Bird poop. Bird poop.
I forgot the bird poop.

[mouths] Catch.

Jerry, don't eat it.
Squeeze it.

[mouths] Oh.

Oh, my gosh! This is like
the ride you took me on.

This tastes
nothing like bird poop.

[whirring]

You really are
passionate amateur special effects enthusiasts.

Yes! [snaps]
That's what we are.

Special... that.

I've never met a family where
everyone had the same hobby.

That's because
we are very close.

- A close knit family.
- Uh-huh.

I mean, come on, let's just
hug it out. Come on, hug it out.

- Mm-mm.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Is this really
the way you guys hug?

You are a sad, sad bunch.

- Who's got my wallet?
- Sorry.

All right, so Nancy,
now that we've got this whole carpet thing cleared up,

what do you say we go play cards
in the wizards' lair?

We don't have
a wizards' lair, no.

I'm breaking up
with you, Max.

What? Why?

You keep lying
to get me to like you.

The only way I can get the
truth is from your family.

Truth?
From my family?

And I'm keeping
the dead lizard.

It deserves
better than you.

I'm sorry, Max.
Phew, that was a close one.

I was starting to think that
telling the truth was better.

But then Justin's lie
fixed everything. [laughs]

Oh, come on, let's just face it.
We're a family full of liars

who don't know how to hug.
I love you guys.

Good night.
Harper, come on. [snaps]

Fine.

No, Justin didn't
fix everything.

It's 'cause of lying, I lost the
most important thing in my life.

Oh, Max, I know it's hard
to lose your first girlfriend, honey.

- I'm so sorry.
- What, Nancy?

No, I'm talking about my lizard, Mom.
I'm gonna miss that crumbly little guy.

Was gonna sprinkle him
on my salad.

Hello, Broadway.

Yo, Brooklyn,
how you doin', heh?

Washington Heights...
[speaks in Spanish]

I'm a wizard!

I'm flying all by myself!

[screams]

Oh! Well, look who wants
to be a wizard now.

Go to bed, Mom.

Oh, Alex, I don't want
to be a wizard, please.

Sync By YesCool
WwW.Addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0