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1
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,887
- This is awesome!
- Is it, Max?
2
00:00:11,922 --> 00:00:14,295
Is this really what you
wanted for your birthday?
3
00:00:14,329 --> 00:00:15,792
[lava gurgling]
4
00:00:15,826 --> 00:00:19,392
If we live, I am so
taking my gift card back.
5
00:00:19,426 --> 00:00:23,674
- Guys, paddle faster!
- [flames crackling]
6
00:00:25,879 --> 00:00:27,785
We're not gonna make it.
We're burning up!
7
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:31,936
I know. Before we see this volcano blow,
turn this lava into snow!
8
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,259
[all cheering]
9
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:47,383
So then it went from lava to snow.
How insane is that?
10
00:00:47,418 --> 00:00:49,290
So, after we got off
the ski slope...
11
00:00:49,325 --> 00:00:52,602
You went into the lodge and drank
hot chocolate with a polar bear.
12
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:56,109
Did I already tell you this story? Oh,
my goodness, I'm turning into Grandma.
13
00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:00,655
No, I read that exact story
in the new H.J. Darling book,
14
00:01:00,690 --> 00:01:03,696
Charmed and Dangerous:
The Story of the Lost Wand.
15
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,702
- Hm. I don't know those books.
- Everyone knows those books.
16
00:01:06,736 --> 00:01:09,673
How could you not know?
They're about wizards like you guys.
17
00:01:09,708 --> 00:01:13,144
Here's how...
I don't read. [scoffing]
18
00:01:13,178 --> 00:01:16,384
Not even menus. She points
at the pictures. - Mm-hmm.
19
00:01:18,591 --> 00:01:21,696
Oh, Alex. That's so sad.
I could teach you.
20
00:01:21,731 --> 00:01:25,738
Like I taught you how to make a bird feeder
out of a pine cone, peanut butter and raisins.
21
00:01:25,772 --> 00:01:28,507
Yeah, my dad ate that.
22
00:01:28,541 --> 00:01:31,278
I know how to read, Harper.
I just choose not to.
23
00:01:31,312 --> 00:01:34,417
You should read Charmed and Dangerous,
'cause a lot of stuff in the books
24
00:01:34,451 --> 00:01:35,620
seems to happen to you.
25
00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:38,826
Wait. Her stories are
things that happen to us?
26
00:01:38,861 --> 00:01:41,564
How's that possible? You're the
only person I tell them to.
27
00:01:41,599 --> 00:01:45,470
Oh, no. I told a few
stories to my lizard once.
28
00:01:45,504 --> 00:01:47,271
Then he ran away.
29
00:01:49,372 --> 00:01:52,441
Max, you're lizard
didn't run away... - Shh!
30
00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:57,016
He ran away.
31
00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:00,755
OK, hang on. Maybe this
is all a coincidence.
32
00:02:00,790 --> 00:02:04,459
Harper, how many Charmed and
Dangerous books are there? - Seven.
33
00:02:04,494 --> 00:02:06,362
Fine, go get them.
I'll read 'em by morning.
34
00:02:06,396 --> 00:02:09,533
I'll skip flossing to save up time.
35
00:02:09,568 --> 00:02:13,106
"Don't eat corn."
36
00:02:16,211 --> 00:02:17,710
♪ Well you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪
37
00:02:17,744 --> 00:02:19,612
♪ And the end will no doubt,
justify the means ♪
38
00:02:19,647 --> 00:02:21,882
♪ You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪
39
00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:23,718
♪ Yes please ♪
40
00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,722
♪ But you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪
41
00:02:25,756 --> 00:02:27,892
♪ When you write a report
on a book you never read ♪
42
00:02:27,926 --> 00:02:30,196
♪ With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪
43
00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:31,665
♪ That's what I said ♪
44
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:35,204
♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪
45
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:38,743
♪ When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams ♪
46
00:02:38,777 --> 00:02:42,515
♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪
47
00:02:42,549 --> 00:02:46,452
♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪
48
00:02:46,486 --> 00:02:50,223
♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪
49
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:54,528
♪ When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪
50
00:02:54,563 --> 00:02:57,965
♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪
51
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:02,237
♪ Because everything is not... ♪
52
00:03:02,271 --> 00:03:04,274
♪ What it seems ♪
53
00:03:09,513 --> 00:03:12,182
- Did she steal our stories?
- Wait.
54
00:03:13,452 --> 00:03:16,121
- Did she steal our stories?
- Wait.
55
00:03:18,024 --> 00:03:19,391
She stole our stories!
56
00:03:20,627 --> 00:03:21,994
I knew it.
57
00:03:22,029 --> 00:03:24,930
Our stories are making
this lady rich. - And famous.
58
00:03:24,965 --> 00:03:27,466
And famous! There's a
crazy ten-minute sale,
59
00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:30,303
the kids get stuck in a movie,
the brother turns invisible,
60
00:03:30,338 --> 00:03:32,573
and they pour orange
soda into a genie's lamp.
61
00:03:32,608 --> 00:03:36,912
All right, so we've got our evidence.
Angry mob, assemble!
62
00:03:36,946 --> 00:03:39,749
I figured I'd be the one to make
a living writing wizard stories
63
00:03:39,783 --> 00:03:41,384
based on our adventures.
64
00:03:41,418 --> 00:03:43,519
Except my character's
name would be Serge.
65
00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:47,090
He'd walk with a bejeweled
cane and wear an eye-patch.
66
00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:50,026
What, no British accent?
67
00:03:51,395 --> 00:03:54,263
Why, that's a smashing idea.
Thanks, love!
68
00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:56,966
Hot.
69
00:03:59,370 --> 00:04:02,973
Guys, how do you think she knows
all this stuff about us? [gasping]
70
00:04:03,007 --> 00:04:07,945
I'll bet this place is bugged.
Everybody talk in code.
71
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:09,580
Peanuts.
72
00:04:11,248 --> 00:04:15,148
- Nobody knows your code, Max.
- Then we're safe.
73
00:04:16,584 --> 00:04:18,518
We've got to find her
and tell her to stop.
74
00:04:18,552 --> 00:04:22,622
Oh! I know where she lives. An abandoned
Paint Your Dish warehouse in upstate New York.
75
00:04:22,657 --> 00:04:26,559
Whoa. How do you know she lives in an
abandoned Paint Your Dish warehouse?
76
00:04:26,593 --> 00:04:30,028
I had my mom's private investigator
track her down. - How's the case going?
77
00:04:30,063 --> 00:04:33,198
Everything's fine. Turns out my
dad was just sleeping in the car.
78
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:38,769
Quick! To the Inter-Wizard People-Porter!
Or, as Dad calls it, the I.P.P.
79
00:04:40,205 --> 00:04:42,272
I pee pee.
80
00:04:44,442 --> 00:04:46,577
[whirring noise]
81
00:04:48,212 --> 00:04:49,578
What is that?
82
00:04:49,612 --> 00:04:52,814
- The I.P.P.
- [snorting]
83
00:04:52,848 --> 00:04:55,216
Cut it out, Justin.
My stomach hurts!
84
00:04:56,385 --> 00:04:58,419
This tube will take us
wherever we want to go.
85
00:04:58,453 --> 00:05:00,387
Here, mortal. Put this on.
86
00:05:01,622 --> 00:05:03,857
Thanks for the helmet,
but I can't go.
87
00:05:03,891 --> 00:05:06,159
I'm teaching scrapbooking
to at-risk youths.
88
00:05:06,193 --> 00:05:10,196
At risk of what?
Making a scrapbook? Come on.
89
00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:13,065
I can't. Call me when
you get back. Goodbye!
90
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:16,135
Not goodbye-goodbye, 'cause I'll
see you when you get back. But...
91
00:05:16,169 --> 00:05:20,071
Goodbye for now. Oh, darn.
I ruined a perfectly good goodbye.
92
00:05:21,607 --> 00:05:23,274
I.P.P. on.
93
00:05:24,209 --> 00:05:25,843
On what?
94
00:05:28,514 --> 00:05:31,782
Peter's Pies... Paint Your
Dish Factory Outlet...
95
00:05:31,816 --> 00:05:34,383
Paint Your Dish Customer
Service... Here we go.
96
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:37,952
Paint Your Dish Warehouse
comma Abandoned.
97
00:05:37,987 --> 00:05:40,587
This thing is so cool.
[clearing throat]
98
00:05:40,622 --> 00:05:42,489
[electronic beeping]
99
00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:50,898
Wait! Don't tell our dad. We're not
supposed to use it without permission.
100
00:05:50,932 --> 00:05:53,967
- Tick-a-lock.
- What does that mean?
101
00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:56,936
It means my lips are sealed.
I use it when people tell me a secret,
102
00:05:56,970 --> 00:05:59,638
or there's something I
shouldn't tell... - Tick-a-lock.
103
00:05:59,672 --> 00:06:01,806
[Justin] Bend your knees, guys.
Bend your knees.
104
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,308
[grunting] Ow! My ankle.
105
00:06:04,343 --> 00:06:09,346
I'm OK. [groaning] No, I'm not.
106
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,448
Can we paint a plate
while we're here?
107
00:06:11,482 --> 00:06:14,283
- Max, I twisted my ankle.
- Will you two focus?
108
00:06:14,318 --> 00:06:17,021
We're on a mission to find H.
J. Darling.
109
00:06:17,055 --> 00:06:19,923
[woman] OK, Ricky.
Good scrapbooking.
110
00:06:19,958 --> 00:06:22,526
Uh, nice use of vinegar to
make the paper look old.
111
00:06:22,561 --> 00:06:25,495
Stay off the streets.
[inhaling] Good kid.
112
00:06:25,529 --> 00:06:27,863
Oh, I hope he makes it. [gasping]
113
00:06:29,498 --> 00:06:34,833
Alex, Max, Justin... [gasping] I mean,
who are you people?
114
00:06:34,867 --> 00:06:37,401
No, the question is, who are you?
115
00:06:37,436 --> 00:06:40,070
And if the answer is H.J.
Darling, then my new question
116
00:06:40,105 --> 00:06:42,272
is why are you
stealing our stories?
117
00:06:42,306 --> 00:06:46,077
[nervous chuckling] That's
an excellent new question.
118
00:06:46,111 --> 00:06:49,179
Um... Look. Why don't we
sit down and talk about it?
119
00:06:49,214 --> 00:06:53,550
Uh... I'll make snacks. - Do you
have sugar cubes drenched in honey?
120
00:06:53,584 --> 00:06:56,119
- "Boy salad?"
- That's what I call it.
121
00:06:56,154 --> 00:07:00,690
OK. Enough with the snacks.
What are you, a wizard?
122
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:03,392
Or just someone who
likes to wear aquariums?
123
00:07:03,427 --> 00:07:06,127
Or, maybe that fish
on her head was a spy.
124
00:07:06,162 --> 00:07:08,963
I'll see if it knows the spy code.
125
00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:13,200
Peanuts.
126
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,202
Nope. The fish isn't talking.
127
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,438
You're in the middle of one
of your stories right now.
128
00:07:22,574 --> 00:07:23,708
My cornea!
129
00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:29,013
Bread, eggs, milk...
130
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:31,449
This is the worst
story ever. - Oh...
131
00:07:31,483 --> 00:07:34,084
What is going on? Why are
you writing about our lives?
132
00:07:34,119 --> 00:07:36,286
- [plate breaking]
- [grunting]
133
00:07:39,556 --> 00:07:41,324
This broke on it's own.
134
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:46,695
Look, uh, sit down. I'm gonna make
some snickerdoodles with Red Hots,
135
00:07:46,729 --> 00:07:49,398
- and I'll explain everything.
- Hey...
136
00:07:49,432 --> 00:07:52,501
Harper makes snickerdoodles
with Red Hots.
137
00:07:52,535 --> 00:07:56,600
You're stealing more than just our stories.
You're stealing recipes!
138
00:07:56,634 --> 00:08:01,436
No, wait. Paint-a-plate, scrapbooking,
snickerdoodles with Red Hots...
139
00:08:01,471 --> 00:08:03,271
She's stealing Harper's life, too.
140
00:08:03,305 --> 00:08:06,106
[sighing] I'm not stealing her life.
I have her life.
141
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:09,942
I don't mean, like, I've taken it from her,
like she's gone, like it's separate...
142
00:08:09,976 --> 00:08:13,346
She still exists. What I'm
trying to say is... I am Harper.
143
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:16,815
[inhaling] Oh, I've ruined a
perfectly good dramatic moment!
144
00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:21,118
Oh, my gosh, you are Harper.
145
00:08:21,153 --> 00:08:24,121
But we just left Harper, and you're
an adult. How is that possible?
146
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,923
I'm Harper, from the future.
147
00:08:29,922 --> 00:08:32,222
So...
148
00:08:32,256 --> 00:08:35,559
If you are Harper,
from the future...
149
00:08:35,593 --> 00:08:38,328
How many fingers am I holding up?
150
00:08:38,362 --> 00:08:41,430
Two. - [gasping] Oh, my gosh,
You are from the future!
151
00:08:42,566 --> 00:08:44,600
Um, OK. Nobody touch anything.
152
00:08:44,634 --> 00:08:46,635
If we do, we could
totally disrupt things
153
00:08:46,669 --> 00:08:48,803
for when we return to our own time.
154
00:08:48,838 --> 00:08:54,742
We're in our own time.
She came back from the future. - Right.
155
00:08:54,776 --> 00:08:56,410
I don't get it.
156
00:08:56,444 --> 00:09:00,180
Guys. She's definitely
Harper from the future.
157
00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:06,785
OK, so you are Harper from the future.
What are you doing here?
158
00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:09,086
Look, I really shouldn't
say a lot about the future,
159
00:09:09,121 --> 00:09:11,689
because it could
change the future. - See?
160
00:09:12,991 --> 00:09:16,460
[stammering] I just wanted
to be right about something.
161
00:09:16,494 --> 00:09:20,363
Look, if you're from the future, why did
you come back here to write about us?
162
00:09:20,398 --> 00:09:24,332
In the future, everybody knows wizards
exist, so it's not that big a deal.
163
00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:28,168
It's more interesting for people to
read about wizards in this time period.
164
00:09:28,203 --> 00:09:30,270
How come people know about
wizards in the future?
165
00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:33,772
Again, I have to be careful
what I say about the future.
166
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,708
[inhaling] But, wizards got exposed
because someone in this room
167
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,276
has a big, big mouth.
I'm not gonna name names.
168
00:09:40,378 --> 00:09:41,612
Way to go.
169
00:09:41,646 --> 00:09:44,514
She said she wasn't naming names.
170
00:09:44,549 --> 00:09:47,717
[sighing] But, I know it's me.
171
00:09:47,752 --> 00:09:51,087
Hold on. If you're mortal,
how can you travel back in time?
172
00:09:51,121 --> 00:09:55,489
I cannot stress enough the danger
we're in by even talking about this!
173
00:09:55,524 --> 00:09:57,291
But, I will admit that I had help
174
00:09:57,325 --> 00:09:59,893
from one of the most powerful
wizards of all time. - Me? Me?
175
00:09:59,928 --> 00:10:01,795
Is it me? Did I win
the competition?
176
00:10:01,829 --> 00:10:05,432
I have to put my foot down.
I've said too much already.
177
00:10:05,466 --> 00:10:08,701
As I used to say as a young woman,
tick-a-lock. [grunting]
178
00:10:08,736 --> 00:10:12,004
OK, but please don't tell
young-Harper about future-Harper.
179
00:10:12,039 --> 00:10:14,640
It'll freak her out and make
her really self-conscious,
180
00:10:14,674 --> 00:10:16,475
and I've always
hated that about me.
181
00:10:16,509 --> 00:10:18,777
It's why I toned down my wardrobe.
182
00:10:20,279 --> 00:10:23,579
Really? 'Cause I've never
seen a hat you have to feed.
183
00:10:23,614 --> 00:10:25,747
[gasping] Thanks!
184
00:10:27,683 --> 00:10:29,550
Hey, what's wrong
with your eye, weirdo?
185
00:10:29,584 --> 00:10:32,719
I scratched my cornea when I yanked
the paper out of the typewriter.
186
00:10:32,753 --> 00:10:36,622
Uh... I need an eye-flush station.
187
00:10:36,657 --> 00:10:38,591
[snorting]
188
00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:41,760
Eye-flush after I.P.P.
189
00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:48,966
Alex, it's so great to
see you young again.
190
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:53,036
Are you saying I get old in the future?
This just gets better and better.
191
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:56,005
You're upset. Did Mason
break up with you already?
192
00:10:56,540 --> 00:11:00,075
Who's Mason? - Oop.
Tick-a-lock. Tick-a-lock.
193
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:02,744
Do you know what I want to know?
Did I ever give you permission
194
00:11:02,778 --> 00:11:05,647
to use my stories to become
rich and famous? - Well, no.
195
00:11:05,681 --> 00:11:09,383
Then why'd you do it? - The secrets
you told me were so fascinating.
196
00:11:09,417 --> 00:11:11,984
They were secrets.
Secrets are secrets.
197
00:11:12,018 --> 00:11:14,852
That's why they call them secrets,
not books. - OK.
198
00:11:14,887 --> 00:11:19,221
That didn't make sense. - [scoffing]
You're Harper. You know what I'm saying.
199
00:11:19,255 --> 00:11:22,255
Do you want my permission
to use my stories? - Yes.
200
00:11:22,289 --> 00:11:25,290
Well, I'm not gonna give it to you.
I'm outta here. - But...
201
00:11:25,324 --> 00:11:27,658
- [electronic beeping]
- Waverly Car Wash...
202
00:11:27,692 --> 00:11:30,160
Waverly Dry Cleaning...
Waverly... Oh, geez.
203
00:11:30,195 --> 00:11:32,527
- Alex, what are you doing?
- I am storming outta here.
204
00:11:32,562 --> 00:11:35,694
Waverly Pet Shop... Ha, here it is.
205
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,995
- [electronic beeping]
- Waverly Sub Station.
206
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,696
Goodbye.
207
00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:41,297
[whooshing sound]
208
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:44,798
Come on, Max. We better go, too.
209
00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:46,733
Justin, wait.
You've got to convince Alex
210
00:11:46,768 --> 00:11:48,802
to give Harper permission
to write those books
211
00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:51,669
or my friendship with Alex
will be ruined forever.
212
00:11:51,704 --> 00:11:54,604
I've always dreamed of this.
Someone has come from the future
213
00:11:54,638 --> 00:11:57,839
to give me an assignment
in the present day.
214
00:11:57,874 --> 00:11:59,473
I'm a Futurenaut.
215
00:12:01,109 --> 00:12:02,876
Hot.
216
00:12:10,682 --> 00:12:14,718
Alex, I called you ten times last night.
How'd it go with H.J. Darling?
217
00:12:14,752 --> 00:12:16,686
Oh, I think you know how it went.
218
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,320
Or, maybe you don't, but you will.
219
00:12:18,354 --> 00:12:20,287
Then you'll know why I
didn't call you back.
220
00:12:20,321 --> 00:12:22,821
- You're upset with me?
- Oh, so you do know.
221
00:12:22,855 --> 00:12:25,959
No. What did I do? - I can't tell you,
but it's not what you did do.
222
00:12:25,994 --> 00:12:29,095
It's what you will do. - [scoffing]
Whatever you think I'm gonna do,
223
00:12:29,129 --> 00:12:32,431
I guess I'm sorry for it. - No, I don't
think you are, or you wouldn't do it.
224
00:12:32,465 --> 00:12:36,834
Ha. - What's up?
Look at the two best friends
225
00:12:36,868 --> 00:12:40,337
having a loud conversation.
226
00:12:40,372 --> 00:12:42,872
What I love about you two is
you would never let anything
227
00:12:42,907 --> 00:12:44,673
get in the way of your friendship.
228
00:12:44,708 --> 00:12:48,143
You know what? If you're gonna be mad at
me and not tell me why you're mad at me,
229
00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:50,911
then I'm gonna be mad at you and
not tell you why I'm mad at you.
230
00:12:50,945 --> 00:12:54,114
Oh, shoot. I just told you why.
Now I'm mad at both of us!
231
00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:58,851
Aren't you gonna
go after her? - No.
232
00:13:00,253 --> 00:13:02,287
What is up with your sunglasses?
233
00:13:02,321 --> 00:13:04,620
It's filtered light therapy
for my injured eye.
234
00:13:04,655 --> 00:13:08,690
It's a pair of Mom's sunglasses
with a lens knocked out.
235
00:13:08,724 --> 00:13:10,725
- Don't tell her.
- [sighing]
236
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,094
Look....
237
00:13:13,128 --> 00:13:14,495
You have to go after Harper.
238
00:13:14,529 --> 00:13:17,764
It's my mission from the future.
I'm a Futurenaut.
239
00:13:17,799 --> 00:13:20,633
Futurenaut? You just
made that word up.
240
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:22,301
How do you know? You don't read.
241
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:25,236
That's because I have all the words I need.
Including these two...
242
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:26,603
- Good. Bye.
- No!
243
00:13:26,637 --> 00:13:32,008
Look, my mission, should I
choose to accept it, and I do...
244
00:13:32,043 --> 00:13:35,179
is to get you to give permission
to Harper to write those books.
245
00:13:35,213 --> 00:13:38,848
You can't give permission to someone
you can't trust, and I can't trust her
246
00:13:38,883 --> 00:13:42,218
because she went ahead and wrote
the books without my permission.
247
00:13:42,252 --> 00:13:44,452
Look, I've read the books
and they're really good.
248
00:13:44,486 --> 00:13:46,087
They're not just
about us as wizards.
249
00:13:46,121 --> 00:13:48,021
They're about your
friendship with Harper.
250
00:13:48,055 --> 00:13:50,890
Well, I don't care about our friendship.
I told her secrets.
251
00:13:50,924 --> 00:13:53,092
She betrayed me,
so our friendship's over.
252
00:13:53,126 --> 00:13:55,293
All right. But you're
missing out on the part
253
00:13:55,327 --> 00:13:57,661
where you and Harper are
getting chased by a dinosaur,
254
00:13:57,696 --> 00:14:02,531
and then Harper uses her knitting skills
to repair a rope bridge, and you get away.
255
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:09,035
Ooh. An adventure about knitting.
Pass. [scoffing]
256
00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:11,738
Fine. Don't read any of the
stories about the great times
257
00:14:11,772 --> 00:14:13,772
you and Harper have in the future.
258
00:14:17,576 --> 00:14:22,113
- [crowd gasping]
- [girl] Alex Russo has a book.
259
00:14:22,147 --> 00:14:24,082
Oh, I can hear you!
260
00:14:30,624 --> 00:14:32,791
[cane tapping]
261
00:14:40,564 --> 00:14:44,032
Oh, my gosh.
I've turned into Serge!
262
00:14:44,066 --> 00:14:49,101
Remember I said I was going to write
wizard stories based on our adventures?
263
00:14:49,135 --> 00:14:50,734
No.
264
00:14:52,769 --> 00:14:54,869
Well, I did. And I said
I was gonna be Serge
265
00:14:54,903 --> 00:14:57,536
and I was gonna wear an eye-patch
and carry a bejeweled cane.
266
00:14:57,570 --> 00:15:00,004
And, look. I am!
267
00:15:00,973 --> 00:15:02,772
Well, Serge is a liar.
268
00:15:02,806 --> 00:15:06,741
He also said this book would have
dinosaurs and knitting, and it doesn't.
269
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:11,177
[chuckling, British accent] So you
gave the book a gander, eh, gov'ner?
270
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:16,546
Futurenaut? Gander? Why don't you
make that eye-patch a mouth-patch?
271
00:15:16,581 --> 00:15:21,317
In order to get you to read the book, I had
to lie to you about what was in the book.
272
00:15:21,352 --> 00:15:24,687
Well, fine. And you know what?
You were right. It is a good book.
273
00:15:24,721 --> 00:15:27,822
I didn't realize, now that Harper
knows the secret that I'm a wizard,
274
00:15:27,856 --> 00:15:30,457
there's all these adventures
we're gonna take together.
275
00:15:30,491 --> 00:15:32,492
Max and I are in that book,
too. - Yeah.
276
00:15:32,527 --> 00:15:34,762
I skipped to the parts
with my character, Julia.
277
00:15:34,797 --> 00:15:37,565
The rest was blah, blah, blah...
278
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,168
So, you should give Harper
permission to write the books,
279
00:15:40,202 --> 00:15:42,304
so you two can stay
friends and I can say,
280
00:15:42,338 --> 00:15:45,039
[British accent] Mission
accomplished, chap. [gasping]
281
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,574
Serge has a catch phrase!
I gotta write that down.
282
00:15:48,609 --> 00:15:53,077
"Mission accomplished, chap."
283
00:15:53,112 --> 00:15:56,880
Really? Because I think Serge's
catch phrase is gonna be...
284
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,315
[British accent] "
Stop hitting me with me own cane."
285
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:01,684
I don't want that on my...
286
00:16:06,422 --> 00:16:09,589
"I've done nothing wrong. And the way
you've treated me is unforgivable.
287
00:16:09,623 --> 00:16:12,591
"You're not the only person who
thinks we're not friends anymore.
288
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:17,728
"There's another person and I think you
know who that person is. But if you don't...
289
00:16:17,762 --> 00:16:19,463
"it's me, Harper.
290
00:16:19,497 --> 00:16:21,732
"Signed, Harper."
291
00:16:22,967 --> 00:16:25,067
How does that sound?
292
00:16:25,101 --> 00:16:28,135
I liked the note you had
when you used the bad words.
293
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:32,670
Bad words are a crutch.
They lead to tattoos and piercings.
294
00:16:34,638 --> 00:16:36,839
All right. [sighing]
295
00:16:36,874 --> 00:16:38,574
Now let me ask you something.
296
00:16:39,909 --> 00:16:42,077
Can you tell this is glued?
297
00:16:42,111 --> 00:16:45,179
- [electronic buzzing]
- Oh, they're coming!
298
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,814
I don't want to see Alex.
She's supposed to read the note!
299
00:16:47,848 --> 00:16:50,183
- [plate shattering]
- Ah! All my hard work, Harper!
300
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:53,085
What's the quickest way
out of here? - The I.P.P.
301
00:16:56,889 --> 00:17:00,725
[electronic noise] - How
do you work this thing?
302
00:17:00,759 --> 00:17:03,661
Just spin the dial
and stand under it.
303
00:17:04,763 --> 00:17:06,997
Oh, good job.
304
00:17:07,032 --> 00:17:09,366
Did I hear Harper in here?
I have to talk to her.
305
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,234
Yeah. She left this note.
306
00:17:11,268 --> 00:17:14,936
[groaning] I'm tired of reading.
Just tell me where she went.
307
00:17:14,971 --> 00:17:18,504
I don't know.
Somewhere in the I.P.P. - Dude!
308
00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:20,206
- Check the dial.
- [sighing] Fine.
309
00:17:20,241 --> 00:17:22,508
I'll give it a gander.
310
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:23,843
That is how you use the word.
311
00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:30,450
- She's going to the pyramids.
- Oh, great. I've never been to Vegas.
312
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,319
[electronic beeping]
313
00:17:37,155 --> 00:17:39,587
[Justin] Bend your knees,
bend your knees! - [thud]
314
00:17:39,622 --> 00:17:41,755
- [groaning]
- Yes!
315
00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:47,460
- [clearing throat]
- Oh...
316
00:17:49,062 --> 00:17:50,530
Guys, where do you think Harper is?
317
00:17:50,564 --> 00:17:52,332
I don't know.
318
00:17:53,801 --> 00:17:55,067
Let's ask him.
319
00:17:55,102 --> 00:17:57,336
- Excuse me, sir.
- Oh...
320
00:17:57,370 --> 00:18:01,206
The eye-patch and bejeweled cane
tell me you're an adventurer.
321
00:18:01,241 --> 00:18:05,444
Thank you. Ah, someone who gets me.
322
00:18:05,478 --> 00:18:08,980
Have you seen a girl with long hair
and a shirt just like hers? Oh, wait!
323
00:18:09,015 --> 00:18:11,448
That's her.
324
00:18:11,482 --> 00:18:14,017
- Where did she go?
- Odd little girl.
325
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:17,620
She said something about
pee-pee in the Grand Canyon.
326
00:18:19,590 --> 00:18:24,094
- I.P.P. in the Grand Canyon?
- You, too?
327
00:18:24,128 --> 00:18:27,863
Strange custom. Keep it up and
your natural wonder will be gone.
328
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:30,932
All right. Come on, let's go.
Thanks, foreign dude.
329
00:18:30,966 --> 00:18:33,334
I'm from here.
You the foreign dude.
330
00:18:33,368 --> 00:18:35,737
Whatever. [scoffing]
331
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:42,375
Harper! I give you permission!
332
00:18:42,409 --> 00:18:45,178
[Harper, echoing] What?
I can't hear you!
333
00:18:46,346 --> 00:18:49,950
I give you permission!
334
00:18:49,984 --> 00:18:53,354
[Harper] A mission to do what?
335
00:18:53,389 --> 00:18:56,426
This is impossible!
336
00:18:56,460 --> 00:19:00,662
[Harper] Mission Impossible?
I already saw it!
337
00:19:00,696 --> 00:19:04,399
- Meet me back at the house.
- OK.
338
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,968
Oh, so you hear that?
339
00:19:13,745 --> 00:19:15,613
[sighing]
340
00:19:15,647 --> 00:19:17,815
I'm really sorry I was mean to you.
341
00:19:17,849 --> 00:19:20,917
- Why were you doing that?
- It's complicated.
342
00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:25,488
I just want you to know that I
read a book... - You read a book?
343
00:19:25,522 --> 00:19:28,324
Oh, no wonder you
were so irritable.
344
00:19:29,225 --> 00:19:31,827
No, I actually liked it.
345
00:19:31,861 --> 00:19:35,063
And it got me thinking that,
if you ever want to write stories
346
00:19:35,097 --> 00:19:37,932
about my life and publish them,
I give you permission.
347
00:19:37,966 --> 00:19:41,133
Why would I want to do that? I already
know what I'm gonna do in the future.
348
00:19:41,168 --> 00:19:43,768
I'm gonna run a very successful
paint-a-plate business.
349
00:19:45,303 --> 00:19:47,638
Oh. Paint-a-plate business?
That's a good idea.
350
00:19:47,673 --> 00:19:49,807
But you know what else
you'd be really good at?
351
00:19:49,841 --> 00:19:52,077
Writing stories about
our wizard adventures.
352
00:19:52,111 --> 00:19:56,681
I will need something to do
while myork is in the kiln. - Ah!
353
00:19:56,715 --> 00:20:00,051
See? I even have a great
title for your first story.
354
00:20:00,085 --> 00:20:05,154
- Gander of the Futurenauts.
- Yeah...
355
00:20:05,189 --> 00:20:06,823
I'll think of something.
356
00:20:08,559 --> 00:20:11,227
So, we're not mad at
each other anymore?
357
00:20:11,261 --> 00:20:15,231
No. I just hope that we're gonna
be friends for a really long time.
358
00:20:15,265 --> 00:20:18,800
Alex, is that what you'r afid of?
That we're wouldn't be friends?
359
00:20:18,835 --> 00:20:21,303
Well, I was afraid of that,
but not anymore.
360
00:20:21,337 --> 00:20:23,672
I'm pretty sure we're going
to be friends forever.
361
00:20:33,151 --> 00:20:34,851
[indistinct]
362
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:39,923
[silent mouthing]
363
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:50,032
You know, you should practice mouthing
words so people can understand them.
364
00:20:51,034 --> 00:20:53,501
I am pretty bad at that.
365
00:20:55,237 --> 00:20:57,204
[gasping] Oh, my gosh.
366
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,143
That's the greatest hat
I've ever seen! Excuse me...
367
00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:04,378
I just love that hat.
Where can I get one?
368
00:21:04,412 --> 00:21:09,082
- Here, you can have this one.
- I can't take this from you.
369
00:21:09,116 --> 00:21:11,384
Consider it a loan.
370
00:21:11,418 --> 00:21:14,353
Well, how will I
get it back to you?
371
00:21:14,387 --> 00:21:18,857
- Um... I'll get it back to her.
- You know her?
372
00:21:18,892 --> 00:21:22,060
Yeah. She's an old friend of mine.
373
00:21:26,336 --> 00:21:29,538
Oh. Hi, I'm Selena Gomez.
374
00:21:29,572 --> 00:21:33,274
In this episode, my character starts
out not liking reading very much,
375
00:21:33,308 --> 00:21:37,010
but by the end of the episode,
Alex learns how important reading can be.
376
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:41,815
Reading can save lives.
Like "Exit," in case of a fire.
377
00:21:41,849 --> 00:21:44,817
Or, "Hey, this bottle
has poison in it."
378
00:21:45,152 --> 00:21:50,488
But, probably not that, because they
usually have the skull and cross bones on it. Anyway...
379
00:21:50,523 --> 00:21:56,062
The point is, I love reading.
And so does my friend,
380
00:21:56,096 --> 00:21:59,865
writer, producer,
actor and director, Rob Reiner.
381
00:21:59,899 --> 00:22:01,433
Oh, hi!
382
00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:03,902
I love reading, too.
383
00:22:06,571 --> 00:22:09,672
Like I should've read the
expiration date on this milk.
384
00:22:14,511 --> 00:22:17,579
Oh, Rob. Yes, he should have.
385
00:22:19,449 --> 00:22:23,017
But, I think you
should love reading, to
386
00:22:23,052 --> 00:22:26,554
Hi, I'm Selena Gomez.
In this episode, my char... Oh, wait.
387
00:22:26,588 --> 00:22:29,290
No, I alady read this. OK.
I'm done. Let's go, Rob.
388
00:22:29,340 --> 00:22:33,890
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