Original subtitles

I can't believe we're going out to dinner,

And it's not a birthday, anniversary

Or city-wide black-out!

This is going to be great!

Yeah, you know where I hear a great place to eat is?

The waverly sub station!

I know the owner and he might give us a discount.

Yeah, I know the owner, too, and he won't.

[whispers] alex, shh!

The owner is right there.

Fine, we'll go out.

That's great, honey.

I'll call the sunshine cab company.

Why do we always call them?

Max, the sunshine cab company is special to our family.

They own the cab that alex was born in...

...After your cheap father

Tried to get me to walk to the hospital.

I offered to push you in a shopping cart.

[laughs] see? I was more exciting than you

From the minute I was born.

Some people don't want exciting.

They want smart, reliable and cpr certified.

I remember when you were born, too, justin.

It was mid-city hospital,

Room...

You don't remember the room I was born in?

He was really nervous.

Remember? You'd just bought that lottery ticket...

Right, the numbers were 33-24-44-55-8-9.

You remember the lottery ticket numbers

But not the room that I was born in?

Bad news. Alex's cab isn't available.

It's retired.

It's headed for the junkyard.

All right!

I outlived a cab. Yeah!

Which is very, very sad.

♪ well you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ that the end will no doubt justify the means ♪

♪ you could fix any problem with the slightest ease ♪

♪ yes, please ♪

♪ well you might find out it'll go to your head ♪

♪ when you write a report on a book you never read ♪

♪ with the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪

♪ that's what I said ♪

♪ everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ when you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ you might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪

♪ because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ when you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ because everything is not ♪

♪ what it seems ♪

Your mom's really upset about cab 804.

Well, you look upset, too, dad.

Me? I'm not upset.

I'm a man.

Men don't get upset about silly things

Like the very cab where their baby girl

Was born [voice cracks] is headed for the junkyard...

Will you please excuse me. [crying]

It is pretty terrible losing pieces of your past.

I've never thrown out anything I've ever worn.

I incorporate the clothes into outfits I wear as I get older.

Here's a dress that has a jumper from my toddler years.

Try and guess where I've incorporated it.

Well, that's a tough one.

I'm gonna have to go with...

Oh, please don't make me play this game.

Look, harper,

Everyone's upset,

So maybe we should go down there

And get, like, a souvenir from cab 804 for my mom and dad.

If you can get the vinyl upholstery,

I can make them vests.

Vinyl vests?

I don't know, my dad sweats a lot in the vest area. [gags]

Hey! Lookihere, it's alex russo!

The cab 804 baby!

The baby I always talk about?

These chowderheads.

Hard being the smartest guy in the room.

I know how that song goes, buddy.

Harper, this is my uncle al.

Not my real uncle.

Nice outfit. Does your mom dress you?

That'll change when you move out.

[chuckles] look at you.

These cheeks are as chubby as the day

You were born in the backseat of the cab.

Harper and I came down because we heard about cab 804

And we were wondering if we could get

Some sort of souvenir from it?

My mom and dad were upset the other night

When they heard about 804 being junked.

That might be the most touching thing I've ever heard.

I was being sincere. Get the kid a keepsake.

Good.

Go!

There.

Now you'll always have a piece of cab 804.

And I'll always smell like canadian rockies.

[al] sorry, that's all that's gonna be left of cab 804.

Uncle al, would it be ok

If, um, maybe harper and I had a moment alone

To say goodbye to cab 804?

Yeah. Give us a chance to go out in the alley

And not cry out there. [sniffles]

Remember, boys,

If it doesn't spill over the eyelid, it's not tears.

Wow, there's a lot of crying going on.

Add some door slams and it's my house.

Harper, I know you hate it when I get an idea,

But I've got an idea.

Oh, I hate it when you get an idea.

This cab means way too much to my mom, dad, uncle al

And all those guys to let it get junked. I have to do something.

Here's something. We could leave before your idea gets us into trouble.

I'm going to use magic to fix it.

Now go get that toolbox over there.

Oh, you're gonna use magic on the tools.

No, I'm gonna use magic on the cab.

We'll put the tools near the cab so people think we worked on it.

But if we do that, isn't that cheating?

Harper, magic is cheating.

I can't bear to part with this cab that won't drive.

Do whatever needs doing to bring it alive.

[engine starts]

Hey, what's going on with 804?

I fixed it.

How is it possible that a 15-year-old girl

Could fix this hunk of junk?

Hey, look at those tools!

And they're near the cab.

Hey, she's right.

Those tools are near the cab.

Of course she fixed it. Aw!

[exhales] ok, as you guys know,

I went down to mid-city hospital

To see exactly what room I was born in...

And I got a free gurney!

Ok, which story do you want to hear first?

The story of me researching which room I was born in,

Or max's story about his free hospital gurney?

Let's hear the gurney story first,

Since it's the one we probably have to get involved in.

What?!

Mom, dad, here's the story.

They were giving this away and I took it.

[sighs] pretty amazing story, huh?

When you say they were giving it away,

Was this gurney parked next to an ambulance?

Yes! - Uh, were the lights flashing?

Yes! That's what made me notice it!

Max, just because something's sitting out on the sidewalk

And nobody's next to it doesn't mean it's free for you to take.

[scoffs] I wish you would've remembered that

When you brought home that stinky chair from the alley.

Well, you shouldn't have thrown it away in the first place.

Uh, guys, sounds like an "after we go to bed" conversation.

On to my story.

As you guys know, I went d.

Good news.

Alex, I'm talking.

I'm happy to announce mid-city hospital,

Where I was born, has been turned into a shopping center

That includes one of my favorite stores,

The science fun toy activity store.

Yes!

Try and top that!

Cab 804 is fixed.

- Yes! - [cheering]

She topped it.

[sighs] you know what, harper?

It's one of those great days.

It feels so good to do something nice for somebody.

Then why'd you yell at that guy

Playing guitar in front of the restaurant?

Singing about losing his girl?

Waa-waa. You're playing guitar in front of a restaurant.

No wonder she's gone.

Guys, check it out.

I told the people at the science fun toy activity store

That I was born in it, they hooked me up.

They got me these night-vision goggles

And this flashlight that can work

In temperatures up to 300 degrees fahrenheit.

So you need a flashlight on the sun?

The surface temperature of the sun

Is 9,944.33 degrees.

If you want it to hurt, you gotta be accurate.

[voice] tech-noggin, does that baby have a camera in it?

How 'bout you get a shot of me and the ladies?

Did you just say something?

No. Alex, did you just say something?

No, I was hoping you did.

[voice] what's with the confusion, tweeners?

It was me, cab 804.

[screams]

You used magic to bring the cab to life.

Alex, I'm new to magic,

With a tng c I'm not sure if I should scream

Or just run away.

So, I'm going to faint.

Catch me, justin.

[crash]

Oh!

What was so confusing about, "catch me, justin?"

Sorry. I'm a little distracted by the magic talking cab.

Hey, I got distracted by commander gadget

Letting the cute girl take a header into the cement.

Oh, thank you.

Relax, justin. It's no big deal.

A lot of times these things happen to me when I use magic.

We're just not going to tell anybody about it.

See, harper. This is how it works.

Alex messes something up and then I gotta fix it for her.

You're not gonna have to come and fix it for me

Because I have everything under control.

[voice] hey, new york, alex russo brought me back to life!

Let's celebrate! Garcon, round of wiper fluid for everyone!

Go ahead, ask for help.

Car alarm. Just the car alarm.

- Don't need it. - Yeah.

Alex russo, from being born in my back seat

15 years ago to saving my life today,

We're more than friends. We're family!

I already have all the family I need.

In fact, I think one member too many.

You know who we're talking about. [laughs]

[laughing] I like the cut of your jib.

Good luck hiding your giant magic talking cab.

And I know who you're talking about.

And max is going to be very disappointed when I tell him.

[voice] alex, you saved my life.

I feel like I got that new car smell again.

I want to pay you back.

How 'bout I give you a ride to school tomorrow?

I won't put my meter on. Free ride.

You can't turn that down.

This cab knows me. I can't turn that down.

See, riding in the cab was awesome.

And we're even not that late.

We missed two periods.

Uh, ok, fine. You're late.

This is when I usually get here.

Oh, well.

Hey, alex. Say, harper.

I was thinking you saved my life

And it meant so much more to me than just a free ride to school.

- Do you like tacos? - [bell rings]

Stand next to it. Maybe it will blend in.

Wow. Magic talking cab in tribeca prep.

Yep, you've got it all under control. [snickers]

We can't possibly explain what this magic cab's doing here.

What's your plan?

I'm thinking of one.

I've got one. I'll see ya in p.E.

[screams]

[sighs]

Hello, everyone.

I know what you're thinking.

That is one honking big art project I brought into school.

I'm not an art project.

- I'm a talking magic cab. - [smack]

- Or an art project. - [smack]

- I'll stop talking. - [smack]

I've never heard of alex russo turning in a project.

Hmm... I wonder where all the other cab art projects are,

From the cab art class.

[whispers] hate you.

[whispers] the words I'm looking for are "help me."

Ok, fine. Help me.

All right.

A lot of you know my sister as a snarky, apathetic slacker...

[clears throat]

But the truth is, this cab, along with other cars

We hope you'll encourage your parents to donate,

Will be used to create an artificial reef habitat

In the hudson river for homeless otters.

- [applause] - very nice.

Thank you.

Thank you. I don't know what happened.

The cab won't leave me alone.

When you bring an inanimate object to life

It develops an attachment to you.

Wow. Where did you learn all that from?

From the magical place of listening to dad when he teaches.

[with accent] I used to talk like that like three years a

But I don't anymore.

Gosh! You've got me doing it again!

[voice] man, you drive like I've got four flats.

Shh! You'll wake up the dispatch guy.

[slams]

Look, the car is back and the dispatch guy is asleep.

- The problem is over. - [cab] no, it's not.

I'm the dream you'll never wake up from.

I've known you since the day you were born.

Let's chain him up.

[cab] I hope you're talking about snow chains.

I have a better idea. Why don't we just take out his key?

No, no, no! Not the key.

- Don't take out the key. - [powers down]

Wait a minute,

I used a spell to bring the cab to life,

But you take out the ke?

Yup. Movin' on...

What's wrong, max?

You've hardly touched your dinner.

I miss my gurney.

[knock on door]

Well, you did the right thing by returning it.

And we did the right thing by telling you to return it.

And here it is...

...By itself...

...With no one pushing it.

It came back?

How?

Well, I...

I didn't feel like pushing it all the way.

So, I did some magic on it and brought it to life,

So it could push itself.

[scoffs] don't you know when you bring an inanimate object

To life it develops an attachment to you?

[whispers] you are incredible.

Max russo, we are very disappointed in you.

Your sister is right.

Which is weird.

Jerry, this isn't about how right or weird alex is.

This is about max and his now magical gurney.

And how he's going to finish his dinner in his room.

[motor revving]

Well, I'll see you in p.E.

[horn honking]

Wow. That car horn sounds like

It's coming from outside the terrace.

- Oh... - Have you heard about

The tribeca prep homeless otter reef project?

[cab] alex! You may have taken my keys,

That's a guy from school. His name's burt.

He likes me but I don't think he's getting the hint

That I'm not interested! [nervous laughter]

Alex, I see what's going on here.

You're bringing your problems home to discuss

Instead of scheming about them.

Oh, well, that's very mature of you.

No wonder this boy likes you so much.

But you should give him back those keys.

And that's exactly what I'm going to do.

She is growing up to be a very fine young woman.

She is unbelievable.

Harper, you're acting like you're looking at a ufo.

It's just a flying cab. Relax.

[burt] hey, alex. Are those copper gutters?

I'm up here.

Yeah, I know where you are. You've got to come down

Before people start to notice.

[gasps] I know. We'll tell everybody it's a parade balloon.

Where's the rope?

Uh... Right here.

Yeah, it's like very thin, super strong.

It's the latest thing in parade balloon rope technologies.

It's good. Check it out.

[burt] alex, you've got to listen to me.

I want to protect you from trouble.

No. You've got to listen to me.

You've got to stop talking. You've got to stop flying.

And thenou've got to get over me.

Wait, hold thi

Rope from greenwald's, help me now.

Climb up there a tie a bough... Bow... Bough.

Oh, you know what I mean. Rope, do your thing.

[theresa] alex!

I'll go see where she went.

[mumbling] oh, would you...

Thank you.

Would you... Thank you.

[gasps] oh! There you are.

I was worried you might be having boy trouble.

Uh, nope. All done. And speaking of boys,

Did you know they're making parade balloons

More real these days? Try and remember that if that comes up, ever.

So, uh, how's it going with burt?

No, no. It's none of my business.

No. Yes, it is my business.

Uh, eat. Everything's under control.

- [tires screeching] - [crash]

[gasps] thank goodness my lamp's ok.

Oh, my goodness!

A realistic parade balloon broke free!

[burt] I will not be ignored, alex russo!

Well, not when you do that.

There's a...

Max... Gurney... Alex... Cab!

[yells]

You know how sometimes you use magic,

When you're not supposed to, but for something good,

And it makes people happy?

Do I look happy?

Does anyone look happy?

It's not alex's fault. It's my fault.

I only wanted to protect alex,

To thank her for bringing me back to life.

You brought cab 804 to life?

For good reason.

You, dad, and eryone were so upset

That cab 8 was going to be retired.

Uh, I go by burt.

I just wanted it to be ok, and for it not to beone.

[sighs] honey,

Just because something is gone and we're sad about it,

Doesn't mean you should try do anything to bri it back.

I mean, missing something is part of what makes it a great memory.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for charming the cab

And having him crash into our living room.

I'm rey for my punishment, daddy.

Come he.

Is that a punishment?

No, it's an alex-ment.

Something that should be a punishment but is a reward.

You get those sometimes, right?

No. No, I don't.

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