All language subtitles for Trollied s03e05.eng

Valco. Serves you right.

I'm quite nervous.

You won't beat our prices.
Can she stop that now?

Boof! Boof! Boof! Boom.

Red hot deals.

Offers on everything from
booze to biscuits.

Loads of two for ones.

We have fresh produce.
Delivered daily.

Am I getting paid for this?
Don't forget the Valco tick.

Oh, Valco tick. That way.

Serves you right.

Valco, serves you right!

Valco, serves you right!

Morning, Margaret. Beautiful morning.
Ready to feed the great unwashed?

Andy! You look dreadful.
What happened to your eyes?

Ah, nothing. It was just a bit
of a late night, that's all.

Katie, come and look
at Andy's awful eyes.

Thank you, Margaret. Christ!

Eh, were you and Sarah out again,
last night, painting the town red?

No. Sarah's gone, for good.
Thank Christ!

Master of my own destiny once more.

She was getting too clingy,
you know what I mean?

I was like,
"Whoa, limpet lady, easy now."

Are you OK with that?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

It was always just a holiday
romance anyway, you know?

I am nobody's Shirley Valentine,
I'll tell you that.

Yes, my love, what can I get you?
Two of those, please. Two of these?

What's up with you? Do you need
a piss or something? Do you need...?

Oh, man. Sorry, I do that
when I get excited.

My mum goes mental at me.

Yeah, and has she told you
that if you just play with it all time it'll fall off?

Yeah, she did but that's just
jokes, right? No, mate, I've seen it happen.

Seriously? Seriously, right.
Stuart Grifford, Year 12.

Couldn't keep his hands
off it, he loved it.

One day, yank, yank,
yank, yank, yank - plop...

Ah, right. Just the lads.

Now, when you've finished with
that I want to you to sta...

Leighton, what are you wearing?

Oh, it's my suit.

Well, I say suit, it's actually
my normal work trousers

and my school blazer but I've filled
the badge in with marker pen. See?

Why? Well, because when
I did it with biro

you could still see the mallard. No,
no, no, no, why are you wearing it?

For my trip to head office.

Richard France wants me
to show them my ideas.

I don't want to be a vessel
of bad news

but you can't just get
an appointment with head office overnight, like that.

Richard told me... Yes, well, I'm
sure he did, Leighton. Sure he did.

Oh dear.

And, Leighton, fleece on.

God, OK!

Look on the bright side, mate.

At least your cock ain't
going to fall off.

22 IPM's? Are you serious?

Don't have a go at me,
it's Richard France's idea.

Well he can take his idea
and he can shove it up his arse

if he thinks we're going that fast.

What are IPM's? I've no idea.

Items per minute, through the tills.

The quickest person gets flowers,
chocolates, or something like that.

Well, which one?

Cos I'm not working my arse off
for some shitty daffodils.

You don't work your
arse off at all.

Fair point. Yeah.

Oh. What's up with you?

Oh, I did Zumba last night,
and got a bit carried away.

You? Zumba?
You mean sambuca, don't you?

No! Zumba, actually.
I'm on a health kick.

It won't last,
it never does with you.

That is so not true. Anyway,
it was you that made me stop that last diet.

That's cos it was that
cabbage soup one,

you were farting like a machine gun!
Yeah, I know, and they stank as well, didn't they?

Kept the customers away
for a bit, though, eh?

Yeah, maybe we should both
go on it next time.

Yes, madam, how can I help?

Did you not fancy going with her?

Nah, I'd have to be mad
to leave all this behind.

All what? You know, all this...
There you go.

..Good job, good mates, my own flat,
all to myself... on my own.

Er, yes, my love, what can
I get for you? The usual?

I don't have a usual,
I'll have three lamb chops.

All right.

You could always go and visit
her in Scarborough.

Have some little holidays.
Oh, yeah?

And what would I find there that
we don't have here in Warrington?

Well, they've got some
lovely coastline.

For now. Geology Tony reckons it will
all have fallen into the sea by 2019.

Well they've got some smashing
shops. We've got Valco.

They've got Sarah.
Bloody hell, will you look at this?

I'm sorry, I've run out
of ink on my printer.

Fine, I'll get it in the aisle.

They won't be as fresh.

Well, as my old mother used to say,

"If it's meant to be,
it's meant to be."

Yeah, and this was not
meant to be... again.

Not... meant... to... be.
Bloody thing!

Oh, Julie? Oi, Julie!

Can you get me some more ink
for this printer? I've run out.

I haven't got time right now, Andy.
You'll just have to use a pen.

I haven't got a pen. Where's my pen?
I've always got a pen.

15 years I've been here, this is the
first day I've not had a pen.

It's BASIC survival equipment!

Jesus, what if somebody
needs a tracheotomy?

Here, borrow mine but just
you look after it

because it's an anniversary
present from my Alan.

He's a real catch, your Alan!

Boom! There he is,
the Big Enchilada!

Oh, hi, Mr France.

Well, come on then! Gotta get
to H-O... P-D-Q... L.

Ah! Yes!

See, Gavin, I WAS telling the truth.

I-I-I-I did get the right stick,
so... there.

Oh, Richard, Richard, listen,
can I have a word?

You're not seriously taking Leighton
to head office, are you? Yup.

What on earth for?

That boy is pure ideas gold.

I'm just not sure it's very wise.

We all love Leighton's enthusiasm
but... You've got to see this.

What is it?

I've set us up a Twitter account.

You know, keep the dialogue going
between us and the customers...

But they're right here - look,
look they're all around us.

..and I put, "Hey, Tweeps,

"what's everyone having
for pudding tonight?"

And frugmug22 has put,

"Instant Whip, obvs
#50shadesofpudding!"

Brilliant. Is it?

Ready!

Great, right, let's go blow some
business brains out. Yeah.

Oh, there he is, my toy boy.
How are you, my darling?

All the better for seeing
you, my love.

Looking smashing, as ever!
If I was ten years younger...

You'd still be very, very old!

You must be careful what you say.

Don't you worry about me,
I can still handle myself.

Ah, funny old man!

May I offer you a lift somewhere?

Muchas gracias!
Erm, frozen vegetables.

Hop on then, m'lady, and hold tight.
I shan't spare the horses.

Ah, silly man!

Oh, Katie. Yeah?

How are you taking
to the new IMPs?

"IMPs"? Don't you mean I-P-M's?

Oh, yes, obviously.

It's just IMPs is, er... well,
it's a management thing,

you'll get used to it. Yeah, right.

Where's Anna? Oh, she's on till
fi... Well, she's meant to be.

Neville, where's Anna gone?

Oh, don't bother, I'll find her.

17...18...19...20...21...22!

Woo!

Nev? Are you logged in?
Yes, indeedy.

Captain's log, star date 2013.

Officer Neville at the helm,
boldly going nowhere!

Can we swap tills?
Just this chair's too high for me.

Do you want me to log out?
Nah, I wouldn't bother.

I shall just finish up here
and you're on. Brilliant.

It's got no bar code on it.
It won't go through the tills.

Well, I'm not drawing one on.

I don't think that would work
anyway. It would if I did it.

Yeah, see these, steady as a rock.

Can draw perfect circles
with these hands.

Not many people can do that -
me, da Vinci, Kevin McCloud...

Are you all right today?

You take an early lunch
and I'll get the ink changed.

I'll draw you a perfect circle
now, if you like. No.

It's, er, really, more about the
state of mind than anything else.

You know, you've gotta get in the
zone, loosen up your wrists.

Let's see. Oh, look you've
ruined it now!

What have I told you about
staying in the fish zone?

You could contaminate
a steak with that odour.

Ah, it looks like a heart.
Yeah, it's not a heart!

I'm going for lunch.

17...18...19...

Anna, what on EARTH'S going on?

Oh, Julie, this is going to make
you laugh so much.

She was trying to get off
the back of m'scooter

and her heel caught in m'wicker.

Oh. I'm stuck!

Anyway, come on.

Now get back to work please, Anna.

Back to your till.

That's my girl!

Ooh! You've got a cracker, there.

For goodness sake, Vic,
not you as well?

I heard that trying to draw a
perfect circle can lead to insanity.

It's all about the wrist action.

Now, shake them out
and then start again.

Bend your knees, bend your knees.
Relax into it. Yep, yep, yep.

You're welcome.

Hi, Margaret.
He's not around, is he?

Oh, you've just missed him,
he's gone for his lunch.

Erm, can you hang about for a bit?

I've got a Kit Kat.
Oh, no, I just can't.

I've got a train booked, so...

Er, Sarah.

I'm not one to stick m'snout
in another woman's trough

but is there really no way you
two could stay together?

I did my best, Margaret,
I asked him to come with me

but he's happy here and who
am I to try and change that?

Oh, he wants his marbles reading,
if you ask me.

Shall I get him to phone you?

I'm not big on phones, to be honest.

You never know who's going
to be listening in

but he can write to me maybe.

I don't know. Oh, has he been doing
the perfect circle again? Bless.

I taught him that.

It's all in the wrist, really,
and he does have lovely wrists.

I'll make sure he gets it.
See you, Margaret.

Oh, Andy, you daft beggar.

Oh, thank God you're back!
The pen's gone. Have you got it?

No. I-I left it just there.

Oh, how am I going to tell
Alan I've lost the pen?

All right, come on, let's think
where you last saw it.

Ooh, hang on! There was something
I had to, er... What?

Oh, wait a minute...

Wait...

Oh, no it's gone.
Oh, I am a dippy ha'porth.

It'll come to me later, I'm sure.
Now, where's m'pen!

Left foot, right foot.
Hip, hip, shimmy. OK.

Yeah. So, left foot, right foot.
Hip, hip, shimmy.

Oh, Christ, I'd need a better
bra on for that one.

Mate, with those two you'd need
scaffolding! I've just made yoghurt!

Nope, it's just not there.

Someone must have swiped
it, Margaret. I'm sorry.

Oh, hang on what's this?
Oh, it's only in m'handbag.

Stupid woman!

Oh, I must have put it in there
for safe keeping

with that note that Sarah
left for you.

Sorry? Sarah was here?

Oh, yes! That's what I should
have remembered. Here you are.

Er, she said she, er, couldn't stop,
she had to get going.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Always got somewhere she
has to be, that one.

Can't ever possibly stop.
Like a shark?

Yeah. No! Not like a shark
because I'm the shark.

Like a hamster,
on a wheel, in a cage.

But they do stop,
quite a lot, actually.

They, like, fully hibernate,
don't they?

She hasn't been gone that long.
You could catch her, I bet.

Nah you're all right.

Sharks don't chase hamsters,
it's not in their nature.

Still, least we found your pen, eh?

Anna? Oh, er...

She were there a minute ago!

This is getting ridiculous,

she treats this place like
a Pret A Manger! I'll get her.

Oh-ho! How did it go?

Oh, they were, they were absolutely
gobsmacked. Yeah? Yeah.

One guy said he that had never
ever heard anything like it before.

Never ever.

Oh, it's just, they just couldn't
believe their ears, could they?

Oh.

That's yearly takings, Debbie.
How can you take that in a week?!

Actually, actually, Debbie,
can I call you back?

Something's just come up.

How did it go?

Jesus Christ.

Oh, no, it's OK. All right.
Just let's have you sat down.

Breath. Sit yourself down.
That's it.

Breath. Put your head between your
legs, there you go, that's it.

Leighton. Idiot.

Keep breathing.
Oh, no, head down again.

Pop that down there, that's it.

Here you go, take a glass of water.

Here, Nev. Cheers for that.
I'm sorted now.

..four... five... six... Oh, OK.
..seven, eight, nine, ten...

You do know the machine counts it
for you, don't you? Does it? Yeah.

I-I didn't know that.
Well, should make life a bit easier.

Thanks, Lisa, you're a real pal.

I'd get back to your till
if I were you, Neville.

Gavin's seen your figures and he
wants a word. Oh, has he indeed?

Well, I've given it some real
welly today, I can tell you.

You tried to tell me that
all this was madness

and, like a fool, I didn't listen.

We all have our dreams, Richard.

I mean, I remember when I thought
I could stock tinned fruit

closer to tissues...
No! No more excuses.

I got it wrong.

The juice on this one just
isn't worth the squeeze.

So, from now on,
no more ideas fort,

no more staff trips to head
office - the madness stops here.

Well at least you can say
you had a go, Richard, eh?

If you're looking for a plan B...

I'm going to have to show each
and every one of them

exactly what my vision
of Valco Better is.

Boom!

Right! Laters, G.

I'm going to start by telling
old bollocks for brains

he ain't ever coming
to head office again.

Oh, actually, er, Richard, erm,
can you just leave that one to me?

Yeah, whatevs. See you.

Katie, what can I do for you?
I was, er...

Er, Sarah asked him to go with her?

NO! Andy? You idiot.
Why haven't you gone?

It just wasn't meant to be. OK? Oh.

Do you know what, Andy? And excuse
my French but that's nonsense!

You turned down the chance
of a lovely new life with Sarah

and for what?

Just to waste yours behind a meat
counter. Er, now, hang on...

That lot don't care. Look.

They'll be back tomorrow buying
the same old muck,

regardless of who sells it to 'em.

Now, you get that address,
find her and make it meant to be.

I can't just suddenly drop
everything. You can.

Andy, there is nothing sudden
about leaving after 15 years.

Bloody hell... you're right. Are you?

What in hell's name do you
call this?! An IOU note?

What were you thinking?

Oh, don't be cross, Julie.
It was just the funny old man.

He forgot his wallet.

He'll be back in tomorrow,
so all is good.

All is not good, Anna.

I'm afraid this time
you've gone too far.

No, no, no! Please, no.
I will pay back the money myself.

Here, take it.

I should call Ian. I should
call the actual real police.

It's theft. But I...

No, I'm sorry, Anna, I can't
treat you any differently

because you happen to be
Gavin's... casual acquaintance.

Girlfriend. Friend.

Lover, really. On-off.

Mostly on. Whatever.

Oh, raspberries, strawberries,
blueberries, three for two...

Gavin, I'm sorry but I am afraid
this can't wait.

There's a sight to soothe two
really rather sore eyes.

Don't do this, Julie, I beg you.
You want to break his heart?

What was that? Do what?
I know what this is.

Anna's been talking about
nothing else,

"I want a big night out on ze town
with our big friend H-ulie!"

I'm right, aren't I?

Yes. Yes, you are.

Well, this is it, fellas.

The big man's going off
to pastures new.

It's such a shame, I was really
starting to like Ian.

Not... Not Ian! Me. I'm the big man.

I don't call you that.
I just usually call you Andy.

It's fair do's though, mate.
You have been here long enough.

Tell me about it!

Embarrassingly long though, innit.
It's like, what, 15, 16 years?

I mean, who in their right mind

would stay in a supermarket
for that long?

Yeah, all right.

It's craz... I was just saying what
everyone else is thinking, mate.

Oh, for... Oh, oh, bye, Andy.
Yeah, see you later, mate.

There she is!

A-ha, now these,
young lady, are for you.

Oh, cheers, for that.
Keep up the good work, eh!

I want to talk to you
tomorrow, Neville.

You need to pick up the pace.
Really? Me?

Yes, really, and less
of the gangster attitude, please!

Yes, Gavin. Sorry, Gavin.

Oh, now, just something I need
to sort out, er, before we go, Anna.

Won't be a second.

No, you're not. Yeah, I am.

Course you are, Andy. Just like the
other five times you were leaving.

Yeah, five times a week!

Well, this time I really am leaving.

Now I think of it,
you owe me two quid

cos I chipped in for a leaving
present for you last year.

Leaving present? I didn't get a
leaving present then. Bloody Colin!

Oh, well, you've got some really
smashing colours in there, haven't you?

Just tell me, why do the robot
cupboards have frogs' legs?

Er, oh, erm, because of the lake.

We don't have a lake.

Oh, we don't, do we?
Oh, God, how embarrassing is that?

I'll tell them we don't have
a lake when I go next week.

You won't be going to head
office next week.

Oh, right.

Phew, OK.

No, I'm quite glad, to be honest.
I much prefer it here anyway.

Do you?

Oh good.

Me too, Leighton... me too.

You're wonderful, you know that,
don't you? Give over.

I couldn't face Gavin. Will you let
him know for me? He'll go mental.

Don't worry. I'll sort all that out.

Get out, you big bell,
before you make me cry.

Come on you. You'll be just fine.

Even in a harsh and unforgiving
wilderness like Scarborough.

You've got the know-how, see?

Oh, Ian. In another life...

No.

Keep practising them circles.

I just can't get into the zone,
Andy. I nearly did an oval.

Andy? You ready to go then?

As I'll ever be.

I can't believe it, I'm going.

I'm actually going.

Andy! You've still got your hat on.

Ooh, look who caught the bouquet!

Yes, love, what can I get you?

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