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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:01,599
I'm quite nervous.
You won't beat our prices.
2
00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:05,719
Just stop that now.
If you can get it anywhere cheaper, I'll come round and cook it myself.
3
00:00:05,804 --> 00:00:09,284
Red hot deals.
We've got offers on everything from booze to biscuits.
4
00:00:09,304 --> 00:00:11,024
Loads of 2 for 1's.
Service with a smile.
5
00:00:13,204 --> 00:00:14,844
We have fresh produce.
Delivered daily.
6
00:00:14,864 --> 00:00:16,144
Don't forget the Valco tick.
That way.
7
00:00:16,324 --> 00:00:18,384
Am I getting paid for this?
I wasn't ready.
8
00:00:18,484 --> 00:00:21,183
When are you ready?
Valco, serves you right.
9
00:00:21,184 --> 00:00:22,384
Valco, serves you right.
10
00:00:26,282 --> 00:00:28,261
24. 25. 26. 27.
11
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:29,961
28. 29.
12
00:00:29,962 --> 00:00:31,402
Oooh. 62. 63. 64. 65. 66.
What's she doing?
13
00:00:35,242 --> 00:00:36,622
73. 74. 75. 76. 77.
14
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,599
Oh sorry, I do apologise Margaret.
15
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,940
Oh don't you worry Gavin, it's quite
all right.
16
00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:45,129
86. 87. 88. 89. 90. 91.
92.
17
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:47,489
I think we're the only
normal ones here.
18
00:00:47,490 --> 00:00:49,470
What you on about?
You're a proper weirdo!
19
00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:51,019
You're the weird one. You are.
20
00:00:51,059 --> 00:00:54,278
I'm serious, make sure you
go at lunch. It's important.
21
00:00:54,279 --> 00:00:58,219
Yeah, I know. Spuffing two hundred
grand on a house IS important.
22
00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,459
Why are you being like that?
23
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,999
Like what? Do you know,
it's like talking to a child.
24
00:01:02,004 --> 00:01:02,764
Just make sure you go.
25
00:01:02,765 --> 00:01:04,724
Make sure he goes, will ya?
26
00:01:06,964 --> 00:01:08,503
Go where? To the vet's?
27
00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:09,824
Finally get you spayed?
28
00:01:09,844 --> 00:01:12,883
Emma's got me going to the mortgage
advisor. She's seen a house.
29
00:01:12,884 --> 00:01:15,404
Well you've got to live somewhere.
Look at me.
30
00:01:15,424 --> 00:01:17,424
Two hundred pound a month.
Mortgaged up to the eyeballs.
31
00:01:17,704 --> 00:01:20,243
Try a grand a month.
For twenty five years.
32
00:01:20,244 --> 00:01:24,143
Shit the bed. Who can afford that?
You want to build your own.
33
00:01:24,144 --> 00:01:27,284
Really. Yeah bit of common land,
dead of night.
34
00:01:27,464 --> 00:01:31,123
Hod on your back. Pre-mixed cement.
Shed load of bricks.
35
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:32,304
Wallop you've got a house.
36
00:01:40,444 --> 00:01:42,063
What's up with you?
37
00:01:42,064 --> 00:01:44,884
Nothing. What's up with you?
Nothing.
38
00:01:45,084 --> 00:01:47,424
Sure you're not missing me?
What's to miss?
39
00:01:51,084 --> 00:01:53,203
I'd say it was a lot to miss.
40
00:01:53,204 --> 00:01:57,504
And when I say a lot. I mean a lot.
41
00:01:57,524 --> 00:01:59,124
Mmm, seen bigger.
42
00:01:59,304 --> 00:02:02,744
Oh yeah. Where, Aintree?
43
00:02:09,424 --> 00:02:11,863
I need to amend the wage sheets,
Gavin.
44
00:02:11,864 --> 00:02:13,324
I mean Dawn Lees is still on here
45
00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:16,264
and she moved to Whitstable
three years ago.
46
00:02:16,284 --> 00:02:17,764
Is everything all right Gavin?
47
00:02:17,844 --> 00:02:21,264
I'm at sixes and sevens,
and I dare say eights, Julie.
48
00:02:21,344 --> 00:02:22,384
Whatever's wrong?
49
00:02:22,464 --> 00:02:26,483
I can't find a stapler
anywhere in this blasted office.
50
00:02:26,484 --> 00:02:28,843
Oh, and Chester died last night.
51
00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:32,824
Gavin, I am so sorry.
How old was he?
52
00:02:32,864 --> 00:02:34,824
Forty two. I mean, dog years,
obviously.
53
00:02:34,825 --> 00:02:37,003
Had he been human he'd have
been a middle aged
54
00:02:37,004 --> 00:02:38,284
man in the prime of life.
55
00:02:38,304 --> 00:02:40,643
Like you, Gavin.
He always wanted to get out.
56
00:02:40,644 --> 00:02:44,944
Every time I answered the door,
he'd just nibble, playfully,
57
00:02:45,044 --> 00:02:46,584
at my ankles.
58
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:49,963
Gavin, that needs a butterfly
stitch at the very least.
59
00:02:49,964 --> 00:02:51,924
So I answered the door
and off he shot,
60
00:02:52,124 --> 00:02:54,384
straight under the alloyed
wheels of a Subaru Impreza.
61
00:02:54,464 --> 00:02:56,084
Oh Gavin.
62
00:02:56,284 --> 00:02:58,483
I'm inclined to think that it
was suicidal.
63
00:02:58,484 --> 00:03:00,244
So definitive were his actions.
64
00:03:01,584 --> 00:03:03,243
They wouldn't let me see the body.
65
00:03:03,244 --> 00:03:05,204
Is it a body if it's an animal?
66
00:03:05,404 --> 00:03:06,624
I thought it was carcass.
67
00:03:11,684 --> 00:03:14,323
Leighton?
I wasn't asleep!
68
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:17,584
Been burning the candle at both
ends, have we? No. No.
69
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:20,203
The fire brigade said we're not
allowed candles at our house.
70
00:03:20,204 --> 00:03:22,864
I meant, are you sleeping properly?
I think I am.
71
00:03:22,964 --> 00:03:25,204
I mean, it's hard to tell
when you're asleep
72
00:03:25,384 --> 00:03:26,624
if you're doing it properly.
73
00:03:26,644 --> 00:03:28,643
Because it's so dark.
74
00:03:28,644 --> 00:03:31,663
Anyway, can you tidy this lot up?
It looks like a pig's lunch box.
75
00:03:31,664 --> 00:03:36,183
This one's from 2010.
We're not a museum you know!
76
00:03:36,184 --> 00:03:37,843
No, we're a supermarket, Julie.
77
00:03:37,844 --> 00:03:39,924
Just get it tidied up.
78
00:03:40,124 --> 00:03:40,884
Sorry, madam.
79
00:03:42,664 --> 00:03:46,344
It was incredible. You know I really
couldn't tell she was a man.
80
00:03:47,424 --> 00:03:49,284
Sounds like a near miss, Neville.
81
00:03:49,364 --> 00:03:51,504
That it was, Katie.
She still got my wallet though.
82
00:03:51,604 --> 00:03:55,284
And I had to get myself a new phone.
Hey ho.
83
00:03:55,364 --> 00:03:57,524
Neville, can I have a word?
84
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,604
Why certainly, Julie.
As long as the word is...
85
00:03:59,704 --> 00:04:01,304
dinner.
86
00:04:01,344 --> 00:04:03,204
I need you to go on the tills today.
87
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,384
We're a bit short staffed.
88
00:04:04,404 --> 00:04:06,384
The tills?
Wow, I'd love to, thanks Julie!
89
00:04:06,484 --> 00:04:09,504
Right, well if you want to follow me
I'll show you the ropes.
90
00:04:09,524 --> 00:04:12,163
Wish me luck!
Good luck! I'll miss you...
91
00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:15,124
Promise me you'll write. No.
92
00:04:18,644 --> 00:04:19,664
What you up to tonight?
93
00:04:19,764 --> 00:04:22,644
Tonight? I'm shaving my balls.
94
00:04:24,844 --> 00:04:26,164
What's that look for?
95
00:04:26,344 --> 00:04:27,624
For your wank bank.
96
00:04:35,684 --> 00:04:39,284
And don't forget you can get six
cans of No Nonsense tuna
97
00:04:39,384 --> 00:04:41,344
ends for the price of four.
98
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,764
Ow! What you doing?
99
00:04:43,964 --> 00:04:45,224
The baby just booted me.
100
00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:47,223
Aw! Let me feel.
Come on, kick!
101
00:04:47,224 --> 00:04:49,724
It's your Aunty Linda.
Give up, you'll frighten it!
102
00:04:49,725 --> 00:04:52,464
Ow!
It didn't! I don't believe it.
103
00:04:52,564 --> 00:04:53,764
Don't think he likes you.
104
00:04:55,484 --> 00:04:56,724
Y'alright there, Nev?
105
00:04:56,725 --> 00:05:00,404
I'm positively raring to go. I
feel like Captain Kirk!
106
00:05:03,624 --> 00:05:04,724
Want some till tips?
107
00:05:04,924 --> 00:05:08,004
Oh insider secrets? I very much do!
Right.
108
00:05:08,084 --> 00:05:12,024
Keep your phone between your legs,
then you can text whenever you want.
109
00:05:12,064 --> 00:05:15,424
Whiffs a bit by the end
of the day like but...
110
00:05:15,444 --> 00:05:17,804
Oh, smell that.
No no, I'm all right.
111
00:05:17,824 --> 00:05:21,024
Thing is I don't actually have
anyone to text at present.
112
00:05:21,144 --> 00:05:22,844
I could text you couldn't I?
113
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,443
"Hi Lisa". Hiya.
114
00:05:26,444 --> 00:05:28,004
Hello.
115
00:05:35,304 --> 00:05:37,744
Do you need the toilet, Margaret?
116
00:05:37,824 --> 00:05:39,764
No. I've already been twice,
thank you.
117
00:05:39,864 --> 00:05:42,243
No I meant,
what's with the marching?
118
00:05:42,244 --> 00:05:44,484
Oh I'm using my new Paedo-meter.
119
00:05:44,564 --> 00:05:47,983
Pedometer. It's a present from my
niece and she's coming over soon
120
00:05:47,984 --> 00:05:50,244
and I need to
look like I've used it.
121
00:05:50,324 --> 00:05:52,804
A year and a half in three weeks.
122
00:05:52,884 --> 00:05:54,104
Oh I'll be puffed out.
123
00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:56,884
Oh Gavin, yer snouts.
There you go mate,
124
00:05:56,964 --> 00:05:59,744
get old Chester's laughing gear
round these little beggars.
125
00:05:59,824 --> 00:06:01,864
Fresh off the pigs' faces.
Thank you Andy.
126
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,304
They might be man's
best friend,
127
00:06:03,344 --> 00:06:06,004
but give a dog a bag of snouts,
he'll rip your arm off for 'em.
128
00:06:06,084 --> 00:06:07,544
Not for the first time...
129
00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:10,024
You all right, mate? You look like a
used johnnie.
130
00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:12,724
Chester's dead. Oh. Oh right.
131
00:06:12,804 --> 00:06:15,463
I came down and there was no one
there mauling the sofa.
132
00:06:15,464 --> 00:06:18,024
No one eating my Shreddies
when my back was turned.
133
00:06:18,084 --> 00:06:19,824
No one barking at BBC Breakfast.
134
00:06:19,844 --> 00:06:23,344
They're like soul mates, dogs.
Look at Greyfriars Bobby.
135
00:06:23,364 --> 00:06:26,323
You know why he sat on his owner's
grave all those years? No.
136
00:06:26,324 --> 00:06:28,504
He'd been buried holding the lead.
137
00:06:34,224 --> 00:06:35,963
Too soon?
138
00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:39,724
Might have to bear with me, bit
of a dodgy conveyor belt I'm afraid.
139
00:06:43,564 --> 00:06:45,964
You, er,
"bean" anywhere nice this year?
140
00:06:48,584 --> 00:06:51,204
Oh, do you always have
fish on Friday?
141
00:06:51,384 --> 00:06:52,804
"No I'm having it for the halibut".
142
00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:01,863
Ah um, I don't wish to criticise
your board work there Leighton,
143
00:07:01,864 --> 00:07:05,183
but you might want to
spread them out a bit more.
144
00:07:05,184 --> 00:07:06,524
Like this. Just, oh...
145
00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:14,244
It's a lot easier to register
when they're spread out, you see.
146
00:07:14,344 --> 00:07:18,304
And it puts a lot less
strain on the drawing pins. See?
147
00:07:19,524 --> 00:07:22,143
Can humans fall asleep
standing up Gavin?
148
00:07:22,144 --> 00:07:25,043
Like giraffes?
Well I'm not entirely...
149
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,163
Why do you ask?
150
00:07:27,164 --> 00:07:29,104
Every time I blink
I have a little dream.
151
00:07:29,124 --> 00:07:32,003
I just dreamt I was a giraffe
because you said giraffe.
152
00:07:32,004 --> 00:07:34,683
Are you all right, Leighton?
153
00:07:34,684 --> 00:07:37,184
Yeah, yeah I'm just so very tired,
Gavin.
154
00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:42,564
Right... Well it's nice that we had
this... chat.
155
00:07:42,764 --> 00:07:44,144
As you were.
156
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:49,763
Shouldn't be too much longer. Ooh...
157
00:07:49,764 --> 00:07:55,324
Back spasm. Don't worry,
it'll soon pass. Any minute now.
158
00:08:13,184 --> 00:08:14,824
Move! Move.
159
00:08:17,984 --> 00:08:19,044
Alright, skids?
160
00:08:19,244 --> 00:08:22,503
I am, but Billy No Nuts here might
be living on the street soon.
161
00:08:22,504 --> 00:08:24,804
Here we go again...
What's he giving you grief for now?
162
00:08:24,984 --> 00:08:27,003
Because I've got to go see
a mortgage advisor.
163
00:08:27,004 --> 00:08:28,824
How exciting.
Have you found somewhere?
164
00:08:28,864 --> 00:08:30,904
Emma's found a three bedroom
house with a garden.
165
00:08:31,084 --> 00:08:34,563
And I think two hundred grand is
a bit of a stretch.
166
00:08:34,564 --> 00:08:38,143
Bloody hell. Yeah, bloody hell.
Does it have to be a three bedroom?
167
00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:42,364
Emma wants us to start
trying for a... Oh... right...
168
00:08:42,404 --> 00:08:43,724
26. 27. 28. 29. 30...
169
00:08:43,725 --> 00:08:46,884
Well, you'll definitely need some
balls for that then, eh!
170
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:51,204
Sod it, I'm not going? Ooh, she'll go
mad!
171
00:08:51,404 --> 00:08:53,104
It needs properly thinking about.
172
00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:56,583
I'm not popping out for my lunch
and coming back 200 grand in debt.
173
00:08:56,584 --> 00:08:58,584
Oh, mark this date in your diaries
everyone.
174
00:08:58,585 --> 00:09:02,803
For today is the day that Kieran
finally grew a pair of nuts.
175
00:09:02,804 --> 00:09:05,603
Right. Thought I'd you'd let you all
know there's a sheet
176
00:09:05,604 --> 00:09:08,803
on the notice board,
everyone's wages on 'em.
177
00:09:08,804 --> 00:09:12,564
What have they done that for? I have
no idea, but Julie's gonna do her nut, man.
178
00:09:12,644 --> 00:09:15,464
Ladies, gents, prepare yourself for
a shit storm.
179
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:18,244
That needs to come down.
180
00:09:18,384 --> 00:09:22,163
I mean I don't want everybody
knowing how much more than them I earn.
181
00:09:22,164 --> 00:09:27,904
Jealousy can do terrible things to
a man. Terrible, Terrible things.
182
00:09:29,484 --> 00:09:30,804
You finished?
Yeah. Yeah.
183
00:09:32,264 --> 00:09:33,444
Come on., Margaret.
184
00:09:34,624 --> 00:09:37,244
29. 30. 31. 32...
185
00:09:37,264 --> 00:09:40,223
Easy now. This is how all that
bother in Egypt got started.
186
00:09:40,224 --> 00:09:42,984
Is that it? Everyone's just
on the same shit pay, aren't they?
187
00:09:43,044 --> 00:09:44,404
Julie's on ?9.20 an hour!
188
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,984
Management though. Wouldn't want all
that shit, would you?
189
00:09:46,985 --> 00:09:50,183
Yeah, having to be a massive tit to
everyone eight hours a day.
190
00:09:50,184 --> 00:09:51,763
How are you on ?7.37?
191
00:09:51,764 --> 00:09:53,404
Skilled labour. Skilled at what?
192
00:09:53,444 --> 00:09:54,963
Just generally skilled.
193
00:09:54,964 --> 00:09:56,644
I'm sorry you had to see this
everybody.
194
00:09:56,844 --> 00:09:59,483
I didn't want everybody knowing that
I'm on a wedge more than them,
195
00:09:59,484 --> 00:10:01,983
but I've been here years so...
Oh, would you look at that.
196
00:10:01,984 --> 00:10:05,203
Andy Richmond, ?7.37 an hour. Same as
me!
197
00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:07,424
Did they leave a zero off or
something?
198
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,024
Un-Be-fucking-lievable.
199
00:10:13,325 --> 00:10:15,965
If I find hard core
pornography on that board,
200
00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:17,737
I will not be
accountable for my actions.
201
00:10:17,836 --> 00:10:19,456
You took your time.
Been buying a yacht?
202
00:10:19,476 --> 00:10:22,516
What are you talking about? Or is
most of your money tied up in property?
203
00:10:22,517 --> 00:10:25,115
Who's seen this?
Pretty much everyone.
204
00:10:25,116 --> 00:10:27,756
I'm thinking it might be a good
idea to take it down.
205
00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:29,832
This is a classified document.
206
00:10:30,249 --> 00:10:32,728
Oh, I've got security clearance for
everything classified,
207
00:10:32,739 --> 00:10:34,298
right up to the very top.
208
00:10:34,299 --> 00:10:37,039
In the time it took you to say that
she just earned a thousand quid.
209
00:10:37,059 --> 00:10:38,779
Oh shut up Sharon!
Two thousand.
210
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,931
Just get back to work! All of you!
211
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,412
See? Money doesn't buy happiness.
212
00:10:43,832 --> 00:10:46,732
How are you on 3p more than me?
213
00:10:46,752 --> 00:10:48,471
I'm more mature than you.
214
00:10:48,472 --> 00:10:50,292
Two decades more mature.
215
00:10:50,472 --> 00:10:53,332
I missed it again!
I don't believe it.
216
00:10:54,292 --> 00:10:56,692
Hey! Get off, you.
Get off it right.
217
00:10:56,772 --> 00:10:59,372
That's mine and the baby's! You're
depriving me. Hey come on.
218
00:10:59,439 --> 00:11:00,279
Be careful, you're pregnant!
219
00:11:00,283 --> 00:11:02,567
Gavin, this was on the notice board.
220
00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:04,435
It could have started
World War Four.
221
00:11:04,535 --> 00:11:08,134
Jumping Josephs,
that's where it got to!
222
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,975
Please tell me nobody saw this.
I'm sorry,
223
00:11:10,075 --> 00:11:12,775
but I don't think there's a member
of staff who hasn't seen it.
224
00:11:12,855 --> 00:11:13,915
But I had it in my hand and...
225
00:11:13,955 --> 00:11:18,355
Oh lord, I must have given it to
Leighton. I'm a bloody idiot!
226
00:11:18,455 --> 00:11:20,795
Gavin! I'm sorry you had to hear
that Julie
227
00:11:20,835 --> 00:11:24,035
but I'm just a ball of rage
at the moment, I really am.
228
00:11:25,175 --> 00:11:28,775
Gavin I've never seen you like this.
You're like a wild animal!
229
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,874
I might as well hand head
office a big whip
230
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:32,495
and just bend over for them.
231
00:11:32,535 --> 00:11:36,914
Oh you shouldn't have to deal with
this today. You're grieving.
232
00:11:36,915 --> 00:11:39,054
I'm not, Julie. Chester was a dog.
233
00:11:39,055 --> 00:11:41,335
It weren't even my dog
it was Barbara's dog.
234
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:45,135
Had nothing but contempt for me.
Oh, where is that blasted stapler?
235
00:11:45,175 --> 00:11:47,535
Why don't you go out with
the boys tonight?
236
00:11:47,555 --> 00:11:50,394
What boys? I thought all men had
friends they called "The boys".
237
00:11:50,395 --> 00:11:52,435
Well I don't.
Well not even through cycling?
238
00:11:52,535 --> 00:11:54,034
It's a solitary pursuit.
239
00:11:54,035 --> 00:11:56,675
Maybe I could take you out,
cheer you up.
240
00:11:56,695 --> 00:11:58,555
I've heard of this lovely Italian...
241
00:11:58,556 --> 00:12:02,195
I can't even get satisfactory
purchase on this drawer.
242
00:12:02,275 --> 00:12:04,375
Oh!
243
00:12:04,575 --> 00:12:06,515
Oh Gavin, I'm so sorry.
244
00:12:08,455 --> 00:12:13,175
The Valco family's just in tatters
and it's all my fault, Julie?
245
00:12:13,355 --> 00:12:15,255
You'll think of something, Gavin.
246
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,775
You know what
they say about a tiger,
247
00:12:18,975 --> 00:12:21,655
he's at his most dangerous
when he's wounded.
248
00:12:22,935 --> 00:12:24,435
But I mean, just look at that.
249
00:12:24,515 --> 00:12:27,755
It's... That is shatter proof,
allegedly.
250
00:12:29,675 --> 00:12:32,774
Excuse me, can you tell me where the
batteries are please.
251
00:12:32,775 --> 00:12:35,615
Aisle nine. OK, thank you.
252
00:12:37,915 --> 00:12:39,414
Ah!
253
00:12:39,415 --> 00:12:41,595
I can't remember who's
the boss out of you two.
254
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:44,055
It must be the one who earns more.
Who's that again?
255
00:12:44,235 --> 00:12:46,215
Oh yeah, that's right,
go on have a good laugh.
256
00:12:46,295 --> 00:12:48,995
I tell you, you haven't heard the
end of this. No-one has.
257
00:12:49,015 --> 00:12:50,895
Mate, how long have you worked here?
Yeah?
258
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:54,074
Long enough to know when I've been
royally shafted. In the arse.
259
00:12:54,075 --> 00:12:55,715
Bloody shit houses.
260
00:12:57,075 --> 00:12:59,875
That's the nicest thing anyone's
ever said to me.
261
00:12:59,895 --> 00:13:01,655
Oh god, he'll be in a mood
all week now.
262
00:13:01,855 --> 00:13:03,395
It's bad enough at home...
263
00:13:04,055 --> 00:13:06,135
I know it's none of my business...
264
00:13:06,315 --> 00:13:08,614
But you and Emma are really good
together.
265
00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:11,335
Just cook her a meal tonight.
And tell her what's worrying you.
266
00:13:11,595 --> 00:13:15,034
And she'll respect you for that.
Cook? Yeah.
267
00:13:15,035 --> 00:13:17,635
That's an idea. Thanks.
No problem.
268
00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:22,134
Just buy us a pint with the ?42.80 a
week you earn more than me.
269
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,055
You worked it out?
270
00:13:26,715 --> 00:13:29,915
And you're sure this will help me
keep me awake?
271
00:13:29,955 --> 00:13:31,575
Well it'll keep your eyes open.
272
00:13:37,495 --> 00:13:39,654
Was it really that bad?
273
00:13:39,655 --> 00:13:42,095
Julie, I received a bona fide
chewing out.
274
00:13:42,135 --> 00:13:45,914
Head office will print "Wanted"
posters with my face on it.
275
00:13:45,915 --> 00:13:47,395
But did they agree to pay rises?
276
00:13:47,415 --> 00:13:49,414
Well let's just gather
the troops together,
277
00:13:49,415 --> 00:13:51,895
deliver the news in one fell swoop.
278
00:13:52,095 --> 00:13:53,435
Ah! My eyebrow!
279
00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:58,694
Hello everyone,
gather round, gather round.
280
00:13:58,695 --> 00:14:01,554
Come on everyone, listen to Gavin
please. Come on.
281
00:14:01,555 --> 00:14:05,074
I know you all saw something today
that you weren't supposed to.
282
00:14:05,075 --> 00:14:08,774
Yeah, we're all on bog all money.
Present company excepted, Julie...
283
00:14:08,775 --> 00:14:13,135
Now it is entirely my fault you all
saw that classified information.
284
00:14:13,175 --> 00:14:15,194
In that case you can
backdate my pay.
285
00:14:15,195 --> 00:14:18,455
I want ?10 an hour,
going back to September 1998.
286
00:14:18,635 --> 00:14:22,034
Please, Andrew... I won't be back
dating anyone's pay...
287
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:23,674
No, he certainly won't.
288
00:14:23,675 --> 00:14:25,515
But I shall be going one
better than that.
289
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:27,715
Head office have kindly offered
every member
290
00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:32,915
of Valco Warrington 1,000
points on their loyalty cards!
291
00:14:34,615 --> 00:14:36,995
That's equivalent to ?10!
292
00:14:37,015 --> 00:14:39,154
I do a third more work than
numb-nuts here
293
00:14:39,155 --> 00:14:42,435
for the same pay and you're palming
me off with make believe money?
294
00:14:42,455 --> 00:14:45,335
Please, now can
we just put all this behind us?
295
00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:47,435
Just think what your points
could go towards.
296
00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:50,035
I don't know what an ombudsman does,
but I'm going to find out
297
00:14:50,135 --> 00:14:51,215
and speak to one about this.
298
00:14:51,235 --> 00:14:54,075
So if you could all go back to
work now, that would be marvellous.
299
00:14:55,475 --> 00:14:59,575
Get it through your big, fat head,
you and Kieran do the same job
300
00:14:59,755 --> 00:15:01,274
and are accordingly rewarded.
301
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,895
Rewards? Oh yeah, we know who gets
rewards round here.
302
00:15:04,075 --> 00:15:06,615
Go on, go back
to your piles of cash, Oprah.
303
00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:22,994
?132.37, please.
304
00:15:22,995 --> 00:15:25,015
You keep doing that you'll
put your back out.
305
00:15:25,135 --> 00:15:27,735
Oh don't worry, it's nothing
a tube of Deep Heat and a long,
306
00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:29,635
warm shower won't sort out.
307
00:15:29,655 --> 00:15:32,435
You know,
I do sometimes miss having a bath.
308
00:15:32,455 --> 00:15:33,815
You should've just flicked this.
309
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,755
Eh! It'll fly down like shit off a
shovel now, Nev.
310
00:15:38,775 --> 00:15:40,374
Lisa, you are a beautiful angel!
311
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:41,815
I know. I know.
312
00:15:42,015 --> 00:15:43,855
Aaah!
313
00:15:43,875 --> 00:15:46,394
Oh, you all right. Oh no.
314
00:15:46,395 --> 00:15:49,315
You all right? Will you give us that
magazine? Yeah.
315
00:15:50,455 --> 00:15:51,755
Thank you very much.
316
00:15:54,215 --> 00:15:56,435
Andy, you've got a face like
lightning.
317
00:15:56,535 --> 00:16:00,335
Yeah so would you, Margaret,
if your whole life was a lie.
318
00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:04,015
It is. I don't really take a size 6.
I really take a 5.
319
00:16:04,035 --> 00:16:06,054
I just like roomy shoes.
320
00:16:06,055 --> 00:16:07,415
Your life isn't a lie.
321
00:16:07,615 --> 00:16:10,515
You just earn the same
amount as I do. Get over it.
322
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:14,095
Earn the same as you but do 33% more
work. How d'you work that one out?
323
00:16:14,135 --> 00:16:18,035
In my
"one-third-more-superior-than-yours" brain.
324
00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:20,835
I do all the heavy lifting,
all the mopping,
325
00:16:21,055 --> 00:16:23,095
most of the carrier bag
replenishing.
326
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,635
You make me do all that stuff!
327
00:16:24,675 --> 00:16:26,775
A third more work than you.
And I'm on the same money.
328
00:16:26,975 --> 00:16:29,815
That means I'm entitled to
a third of everything that's yours.
329
00:16:30,015 --> 00:16:31,695
Oh this is making perfect sense,
yeah.
330
00:16:31,696 --> 00:16:34,734
On top of my own, I'll eat a third
of whatever you eat, how's that?
331
00:16:34,735 --> 00:16:36,755
Well you look like you do anyway.
And a third of Emma.
332
00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:38,755
She can be my wife for two
and a third days a week.
333
00:16:38,775 --> 00:16:41,095
Thursdays, Fridays, Saturday
mornings. Normal.
334
00:16:41,355 --> 00:16:43,475
Be the best third of a week of her
life. Full on romantic.
335
00:16:43,555 --> 00:16:45,795
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she'll be
well into this idea.
336
00:16:45,815 --> 00:16:48,275
And that three bed semi. I'll move
in. Get on the mortgage.
337
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,575
By all means. At least then
we'll be broke together.
338
00:16:50,595 --> 00:16:53,754
Have you really not got a house,
Kieran? You could sleep in Alan's shed.
339
00:16:53,755 --> 00:16:56,155
Thanks, Margaret.
I'll ask Emma, see what she thinks.
340
00:16:56,175 --> 00:16:57,675
Yeah, don't ask her Thursday.
341
00:16:57,715 --> 00:16:59,675
I've got a table
booked at The Spice Lounge.
342
00:16:59,675 --> 00:17:02,455
Candles, curry and cuddles.
After that, who knows?
343
00:17:03,435 --> 00:17:06,615
455!
Oh, is that all?
344
00:17:06,815 --> 00:17:09,095
That's the time Margaret.
It's a watch.
345
00:17:09,175 --> 00:17:11,095
But it hasn't got any fingers!
346
00:17:11,195 --> 00:17:12,695
It's a digital watch.
347
00:17:15,595 --> 00:17:20,694
Oh that's right,
my present was the watch.
348
00:17:20,695 --> 00:17:25,015
They bought Alan the paedo-meter. Oh
what a to do!
349
00:17:25,195 --> 00:17:27,695
I do not get paid
enough for this.
350
00:17:42,175 --> 00:17:44,375
Leighton. Don't hurt me!
I've been a good girl.
351
00:17:44,575 --> 00:17:46,995
Oh, it's all right,
I think you were dreaming.
352
00:17:48,395 --> 00:17:52,695
Listen, you know you can't just
fall asleep at work.
353
00:17:52,895 --> 00:17:54,674
It's not the done thing.
354
00:17:54,675 --> 00:17:57,635
I didn't mean to Gavin.
I just couldn't keep awake.
355
00:17:58,955 --> 00:18:02,275
I've never had to work
so long before. I don't follow...
356
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,215
What's that for? You.
357
00:18:06,395 --> 00:18:08,855
Me? I can't drink wine.
Do you not remember last time?
358
00:18:08,935 --> 00:18:11,735
I copped off with a bloke
wearing slip-ons.
359
00:18:11,935 --> 00:18:13,495
Anyway, what you buying me wine
for?
360
00:18:13,496 --> 00:18:16,134
35 hours a week. 52 weeks a year.
361
00:18:16,135 --> 00:18:19,854
What I earn more than you.
Split the difference.
362
00:18:19,855 --> 00:18:23,355
Aw! Come here you mad head.
363
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,775
Ah! I felt it! Yeah.
364
00:18:25,795 --> 00:18:27,895
It's your Aunty Linda!
365
00:18:28,075 --> 00:18:29,915
Oh you've definitely woken
it up now...
366
00:18:29,916 --> 00:18:35,214
Leighton, Monday day, Monday night,
Tuesday day, Tuesday night,
367
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:38,315
Wednesday day. Have you been here for
three days and nights?!
368
00:18:38,335 --> 00:18:41,754
I don't know. I did notice it got
light and dark outside a few times.
369
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:43,015
Does that usually happen?
370
00:18:43,095 --> 00:18:46,355
You can be certified clinically
insane after 3 days with no sleep.
371
00:18:46,635 --> 00:18:49,134
Didn't it even occur to you that you
don't even work nights?
372
00:18:49,135 --> 00:18:50,355
Well it was on the rota.
373
00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:53,395
And Julie said when I started here,
that whatever the rota said,
374
00:18:53,495 --> 00:18:54,834
was when I had to work.
375
00:18:54,835 --> 00:18:56,835
Clearly there's been a misprint,
Leighton.
376
00:18:56,855 --> 00:18:59,315
And no, we don't just
do what the rotas tell us.
377
00:18:59,395 --> 00:19:01,795
We've got to
be in charge of our own destiny.
378
00:19:01,815 --> 00:19:05,175
Charge our own density.
Right, just go home, Leighton.
379
00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:06,934
Off you go, go and get some sleep.
380
00:19:06,935 --> 00:19:09,614
Thanks boss. Night night.
381
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:10,615
Yeah, sleep tight.
382
00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:19,515
Ah! He-hey!
383
00:19:30,475 --> 00:19:33,495
Look, truce. How's about we get a
drink. My shout.
384
00:19:33,615 --> 00:19:35,515
You'd have to buy
three for every two I buy.
385
00:19:35,516 --> 00:19:37,955
I'll buy all of them, how's that?
386
00:19:38,075 --> 00:19:41,714
Oh yeah, don't try and buy me off
just cos I've got dibs on your Emma.
387
00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:45,275
Oh, Emma. Oh actually mate, we're
going to have to put that drink on ice.
388
00:19:45,295 --> 00:19:47,095
I've got explaining to do.
389
00:19:47,295 --> 00:19:49,735
Ah looks like a rung's
come off your property ladder, eh?
390
00:19:49,735 --> 00:19:50,935
She is not going to be happy.
391
00:19:51,035 --> 00:19:53,115
Tell you what, you have her this
week. I'll have my go
392
00:19:53,155 --> 00:19:54,195
once the dust settles.
393
00:19:56,955 --> 00:19:58,215
Julie!
394
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,755
I just wanted to say thank you.
395
00:20:01,815 --> 00:20:03,495
Oh what for, Gavin?
396
00:20:03,755 --> 00:20:06,834
The...
stapler. You found it, didn't you?
397
00:20:06,835 --> 00:20:08,115
I may have.
398
00:20:08,135 --> 00:20:11,655
My lips are sealed, well
unless you'd care to open them...
399
00:20:14,235 --> 00:20:18,534
You know you, em, you never notice
the amount of steel used in
400
00:20:18,535 --> 00:20:21,895
the construction of a supermarket,
till you look at the roof.
401
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:24,014
Any plans this evening?
402
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,975
Well as it happens, yes.
403
00:20:26,075 --> 00:20:30,915
You are looking at the newest member
of the Warrington Cycling Club.
404
00:20:30,935 --> 00:20:34,295
Oh, really Gavin? That is fantastic.
405
00:20:34,495 --> 00:20:35,835
Yeah nothing else to go home for.
406
00:20:35,836 --> 00:20:38,694
But you know, might as well go out on
the open road.
407
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,275
Three abreast with m'fellow
cyclists.
408
00:20:41,335 --> 00:20:43,595
Bottom bobbing on your saddle...
409
00:20:45,975 --> 00:20:48,694
A cycling club. You know I don't know
why I haven't thought of it before.
410
00:20:48,695 --> 00:20:50,275
Ey up. Hi.
411
00:20:50,295 --> 00:20:53,794
Wine. Not plonk. Food to actually
cook, not microwave.
412
00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:56,215
Good lad. She'll love you for it.
Hiya!
413
00:20:56,315 --> 00:20:58,755
Oh, Hi. Have a
good night tonight you two.
414
00:20:58,955 --> 00:21:02,855
You all right?
Yeah. So, how did you get on?
415
00:21:02,935 --> 00:21:05,955
Hear me out. I didn't go.
Oh Kieran, you promised!
416
00:21:05,975 --> 00:21:10,054
Don't forget, next Thursday.
Already made a reservation.
417
00:21:10,055 --> 00:21:13,335
I just think it's something
we need to properly talk about.
418
00:21:13,535 --> 00:21:16,375
Jesus, talk about it?
Kieran I ask you to do one thing.
419
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:17,815
One thing!
420
00:21:23,635 --> 00:21:25,655
Hey, giz a bit. What?
421
00:21:25,835 --> 00:21:26,615
Come on.
422
00:21:34,455 --> 00:21:36,935
Unexpected item in bagging area.
423
00:21:37,015 --> 00:21:39,535
Unexpected item in bagging area.
424
00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:44,135
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