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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:02,410
You can't beat our prices.
Just stop that now.
2
00:00:02,490 --> 00:00:05,210
If you can get it anywhere cheaper,
I'll come round and cook it myself.
3
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:08,490
Red hot deals. We've got offers on
everything from booze to biscuits.
4
00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:10,410
Loads of 2 for 1s.
5
00:00:10,490 --> 00:00:11,850
Service with a smile.
6
00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:14,090
We have fresh produce.
Grown locally.
7
00:00:14,170 --> 00:00:15,890
Don't forget the Valco tick.
That way.
8
00:00:15,970 --> 00:00:19,210
Am I getting paid for this?
Valco. I wasn't ready.
9
00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:20,810
Valco serves you right.
10
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:23,130
Valco serves you right!
11
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,210
Hello.
12
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,130
Yep, it's me. Back again.
13
00:00:31,210 --> 00:00:32,410
Hello. Hi.
14
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:36,970
Hold it really tightly by the legs,
15
00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:39,970
cos even though it's just a rabbit,
it can still kick your teeth out.
16
00:00:40,050 --> 00:00:43,130
I'm only camping for the weekend, I
was just gonna pack some sandwiches.
17
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,730
And don't forget to use both hands
to pull the gizzards out,
18
00:00:45,810 --> 00:00:48,010
they'll slosh everywhere, you know.
Cheers, mate.
19
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,290
Your money back
if you can find it cheaper
20
00:00:50,370 --> 00:00:54,210
anywhere else online.
For one day only. Thank you.
21
00:00:54,290 --> 00:00:57,890
Even me feet feel pregnant.
That's it, my shoes are coming off.
22
00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,730
What are you doing?
23
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:02,330
Oh, my god, that is rank.
Get 'em back on, will you?
24
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,890
I can't, it's because
I'm on me feet all day.
25
00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:07,490
Anyway, what's it to you?
No-one can see 'em. I can see 'em.
26
00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:09,490
They look like
a pair of party balloons.
27
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,010
Oh, charming! And whose feet
have you got? Jessie J's?
28
00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:15,170
Just because you're pregnant, don't
mean you can do whatever you want.
29
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:18,570
I've only taken me shoes off!
Yeah, and what's next? Your bra?
30
00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:21,170
Don't be daft.
I've already taken that off.
31
00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:28,010
For goodness sake, Julie.
32
00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:30,210
I'm sorry, I didn't
realise you were busy.
33
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,370
I'm not busy,
I'm eating a sausage roll.
34
00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:35,090
Do you honestly think that being
busy is eating a sausage roll?
35
00:01:35,170 --> 00:01:37,330
I just thought that...
36
00:01:37,410 --> 00:01:40,250
Here's a list of things of things
I want you to be on top of today.
37
00:01:40,330 --> 00:01:43,130
Nothing much, basic stuff.
38
00:01:43,210 --> 00:01:45,610
This whole list by today?
39
00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:48,090
Don't be daft.
40
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:56,010
We've been sent a set
of plastic hubs to try.
41
00:01:56,090 --> 00:01:59,130
Surely that's a job for...?
For you, Julie.
42
00:01:59,210 --> 00:02:01,610
This is a job for you.
43
00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,290
Who's your friend, Margaret?
44
00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:14,130
This is no friend of mine,
Kieran love, oh no.
45
00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:17,090
It's going back to shop
at dinner time. It's faulty.
46
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,450
Can a plant be faulty?
47
00:02:18,530 --> 00:02:22,410
It's not had a single flower
since I bought it four years ago.
48
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,690
Four years! Morning.
49
00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:27,650
Oh, Andy, do you know about plants?
This one never flowers.
50
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:30,570
I think it does it on purpose.
You want pig's manure.
51
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,530
I'll ask my mate, Leggy Frank, if you
want. He's got sacks of the stuff.
52
00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:37,330
Oh, that'll cause a right pong.
No, I'll return it.
53
00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:39,850
Can you actually take a plant
back after four years?
54
00:02:39,930 --> 00:02:42,810
Well, they'll have to.
And if they don't...
55
00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:44,410
I'll tell them I work for Watchdog.
56
00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:48,050
Right, the Valco uniform
might be a bit of a giveaway.
57
00:02:48,130 --> 00:02:49,610
Oh, I never thought about that.
58
00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:51,930
Oh! Here he is!
59
00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:54,450
The comeback kid.
60
00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:57,050
Like a phoenix risen from the ashes.
Hello, hello, hi.
61
00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:58,450
Good to have you back, Leighton.
62
00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:00,930
It's good to be back to be honest.
I'd started to wonder
63
00:03:01,010 --> 00:03:04,210
if Valco had all been like
a really brilliant dream I'd had.
64
00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:06,770
But it's not - it's real alright.
65
00:03:06,850 --> 00:03:07,850
It's all real.
66
00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:18,330
Oh, are you tired, Neville?
67
00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:21,170
Yeah, I didn't get
much sleep last night.
68
00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:23,290
Neighbour's Afghan is on heat.
69
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,810
Again. Bloody dog.
70
00:03:25,890 --> 00:03:28,290
That's annoying.
Yes, it is.
71
00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:30,330
That's why they keep him
in my garden really.
72
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,130
They both got work so, you know...
73
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:36,130
They keep him in your garden?
Yes! Bit cruel.
74
00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:38,170
Seemed much happier
when he came in the house.
75
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:40,450
Didn't stop the howling, mind you.
76
00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:41,490
Or the rutting.
77
00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:44,930
Not sure I'll be
able to save that sofa.
78
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:47,810
Stuff gets in the fabric,
I can tell you.
79
00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:49,490
Didn't think you were in today.
80
00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:52,010
Oh, I'm doing cover,
need the money so...
81
00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:55,090
Ah. Whose dodgy motor was that
dropped you off this morning?
82
00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:56,610
Stu's...
83
00:03:56,690 --> 00:04:00,490
Oh right... Is he-is he
your boyfriend now then?
84
00:04:00,570 --> 00:04:03,690
Not my boyfriend. Not like that.
85
00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:06,650
I'm just, you know... seeing 'im.
86
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:09,450
Oh, good on you, he seemed
like a good bloke. Yeah he is.
87
00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:11,650
Cool, I'd best get going.
88
00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:13,690
Yeah, see you.
89
00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:16,810
Does this smell of Febreze
to you or something else...
90
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,970
Something saltier?
91
00:04:20,330 --> 00:04:21,970
Hmm.
92
00:04:22,050 --> 00:04:24,410
Hi can I have...?
93
00:04:24,490 --> 00:04:27,370
Good morning Vic, the usual?
If you please.
94
00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,650
How's that company car
working out for you then?
95
00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:33,690
Well normally she'd be fit
for a full five circuits of Valco
96
00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:36,930
but Ian's got his phone
plugged into the top-up point,
97
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,810
so I'm keeping it brief today.
98
00:04:38,890 --> 00:04:42,010
I'd be tempted to drive
her home the quick way
99
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:44,770
but I don't much fancy
my chances on the A57!
100
00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:47,050
Indeed. Well you take
care anyway. Yes, my love?
101
00:04:47,130 --> 00:04:49,330
Mind you I've had worse
journeys home.
102
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:52,250
October, 1943.
103
00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:04,410
Bugger...
104
00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:05,530
Bugger!
105
00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:07,250
Hello.
106
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:09,570
Oh, Leighton.
107
00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:12,170
I saw you were on the rota today.
108
00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:13,690
It's good to have you back.
109
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:15,770
Yeah, yeah, Julie?
110
00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:18,170
I just wanted to say,
I know it wasn't your fault...
111
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:21,170
Sacking me. I know it wasn't you.
Right, thanks.
112
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:22,810
She's really horrible, isn't she?
113
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,970
It would be highly
unprofessional of me to call
114
00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:28,090
another member
of the management team
115
00:05:28,170 --> 00:05:31,770
a nasty, mean-spirited,
controlling old bitch.
116
00:05:31,850 --> 00:05:35,330
So I'm afraid
I couldn't possibly comment.
117
00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:37,570
Oh right. Loud and clear.
118
00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:39,650
I couldn't possibly comment either.
119
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,690
Anyway best make yourself useful
120
00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:45,250
and pack some bags before
the ice queen catches you.
121
00:05:45,330 --> 00:05:48,530
Okay, I'm all over it
like a pair of shoes.
122
00:05:57,370 --> 00:05:59,330
Oh, bugger.
123
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,730
OH!
124
00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:10,610
Bloody casters.
125
00:06:10,690 --> 00:06:12,130
Everything alright, Julie?
126
00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:15,730
Oh, you know,
one of those days. Arrrgh!
127
00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:16,970
I can do it!
128
00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:19,730
It's alright to ask
for help you know, Julie.
129
00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:21,850
I'd have never got
to where I am today
130
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:23,530
without asking for a little help.
131
00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:27,210
Yes, you're right.
132
00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:29,690
Admittedly I might
not be divorced either.
133
00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:32,090
Oh, the wife hated it
when I asked for help.
134
00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:35,770
Especially when we were making love.
Drove her bananas.
135
00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:38,770
Still, what can you do?
136
00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:39,930
Thanks, Neville.
137
00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:42,810
Hello?
138
00:06:42,890 --> 00:06:44,330
Helllooooo?
139
00:06:44,410 --> 00:06:45,530
Anyone?
140
00:06:53,090 --> 00:06:55,770
You wanna watch out having
a proper-named boyfriend.
141
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,090
He's not me boyfriend.
142
00:06:58,290 --> 00:07:00,130
Did you have to tell her?
143
00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:02,610
Have you shagged him yet?
144
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,810
Can you stop talking now please?
145
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:07,770
You haven't, have you?
And he's still sniffing about?
146
00:07:07,850 --> 00:07:10,490
Oh, he's in it for the long game,
I know his sort.
147
00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:12,050
Oh and you'd know, would you?
148
00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:14,730
Oh yeah, starts out all romantic.
149
00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:17,450
He's buying you Lambert and Butlers
without asking.
150
00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:20,330
Next thing you know, you're being
investigated for benefit fraud
151
00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:23,650
and he's moved in with your aunty.
Wow.
152
00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:26,810
Because we've all been there, right?
Just telling it like it is, alright?
153
00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:33,730
I tried doing this
in my mum's kitchen
154
00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:35,570
but I just didn't get the same buzz.
155
00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:38,490
She doesn't stock enough cornflakes.
In fact she doesn't stock any
156
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:40,930
because me and my brother
aren't allowed high glycemics.
157
00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:43,650
You know I could just knock one
out just thinking about her, man.
158
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:44,690
My mum?
159
00:07:44,770 --> 00:07:46,850
- No.
- No.
160
00:07:50,210 --> 00:07:52,530
Lorraine! Lorraine?
161
00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:55,850
Look, I've got to
be straight with you.
162
00:07:55,930 --> 00:08:00,130
There's simply no way I can get
all this done in one shift.
163
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:05,370
Well, gosh Julie, maybe
I have given you too much to do.
164
00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:07,890
Oh, perhaps a little bit, yes...
165
00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:10,890
Maybe, maybe you're just
not cut out for management.
166
00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:13,810
Management?
167
00:08:13,890 --> 00:08:15,010
Of course I...
168
00:08:15,090 --> 00:08:17,450
Maybe you were better
suited to the tills.
169
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,490
Shall we send you back
there and see?
170
00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:23,010
Come on Lisa, shift yourself.
171
00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:25,090
Are you being serious? Deadly.
172
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,770
Well, go on, Julie,
what you waiting for?
173
00:08:28,850 --> 00:08:32,410
Oh, just forget I said
anything. I'm fine, honestly.
174
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,170
Tills too much for you too,
are they?
175
00:08:37,330 --> 00:08:39,250
Hmmm? Well?
176
00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:42,450
I just wanted some chips
cos Alan says we've run out.
177
00:08:42,530 --> 00:08:44,650
And I said, "Well we're
only having cold tonight."
178
00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:48,170
And he says, "well you can't
have cold without chips."
179
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,530
But... I mean,
I could come back later.
180
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,050
You're alright love.
181
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:11,290
Well go on, say it.
You know the drill.
182
00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:13,170
Thank you for shopping at Valco.
183
00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:16,690
Brilliant.
184
00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:19,610
I was only joking, kid.
185
00:09:19,690 --> 00:09:22,730
Don't tell me you can't
take a joke either?
186
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:23,850
All I wanted to say was...
187
00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:29,530
Fabulous.
188
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,570
Did you see that, Lisa?
189
00:09:32,650 --> 00:09:36,050
She's like a well-trained,
little puppy, aren't you, Julie?
190
00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:38,250
You are, aren't you?
191
00:09:39,530 --> 00:09:40,930
Aren't you? Yes, you are.
192
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,890
Come on...
193
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:48,090
Bark for us, little doggy, bark.
194
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:51,250
Go on, give us a little woof.
195
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:52,650
Go on then!
196
00:09:57,690 --> 00:09:59,130
Woof.
197
00:09:59,210 --> 00:10:02,170
Oh. Louder, please, little doggy.
198
00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:05,930
Woof, Woof.
199
00:10:06,010 --> 00:10:07,090
Louder. Woof!
200
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:09,210
Ah ha ha ha!
201
00:10:09,290 --> 00:10:14,930
Aaah, that's made my day.
Come on everyone, back to work.
202
00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:17,970
I don't pay you to stand
around sniffing each others' arses.
203
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:21,250
No offense, Julie.
204
00:10:25,653 --> 00:10:27,293
You alright? I'm fine.
205
00:10:43,149 --> 00:10:46,389
Eh, snap! I love a pie and a Yop!
206
00:10:46,469 --> 00:10:49,629
It's like having your dinner and your
pudding at the same time.
207
00:10:49,709 --> 00:10:52,429
You're not wrong about that.
You're not wrong about this either.
208
00:10:52,509 --> 00:10:53,789
It's bloody brilliant.
209
00:10:53,869 --> 00:10:55,549
You're powering through it then?
210
00:10:55,629 --> 00:10:59,149
I can speed read. Take one look at a
page and bosh, it's in there.
211
00:10:59,229 --> 00:11:02,869
That's amazing. Comes in useful
when I'm building my model boats.
212
00:11:02,949 --> 00:11:05,509
I take one look at the manual and
I know exactly what to do.
213
00:11:05,589 --> 00:11:09,069
Don't tell me you're into maritime
miniature reconstruction.
214
00:11:09,149 --> 00:11:11,069
Me too. What scale?
215
00:11:11,149 --> 00:11:14,149
1:600 of course. Of course.
216
00:11:14,229 --> 00:11:17,389
I've literally taken up the whole
loft with it. My husband calls it
217
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:19,469
"the docks". Drives him mental.
218
00:11:19,549 --> 00:11:21,269
Yeah, I'll bet.
219
00:11:21,349 --> 00:11:25,389
Well, best be getting back to it.
Anyone fancy a pint after work?
220
00:11:25,469 --> 00:11:28,509
Depends on if I'll be listening to
two blokes banging on about toy boats.
221
00:11:28,589 --> 00:11:30,989
You're on. Eh, I'll bring some
photos of my Orca patrol.
222
00:11:31,069 --> 00:11:33,469
A thing of beauty. Ha ha!
223
00:11:34,709 --> 00:11:37,109
Aah, top bloke! What a sense of
humour!
224
00:11:38,589 --> 00:11:40,469
What was all that stuff about
"husband"?
225
00:11:40,549 --> 00:11:42,589
Yeah, he's married.
226
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:45,589
Why didn't he say wife?
Why did he say...
227
00:11:48,629 --> 00:11:49,669
Ian's...
228
00:11:50,749 --> 00:11:52,149
gay?
229
00:11:52,229 --> 00:11:54,149
And he got there.
230
00:11:54,229 --> 00:11:55,509
Ian? Gay?
231
00:11:57,589 --> 00:11:59,149
Ian is gay?
232
00:11:59,229 --> 00:12:01,109
Ian?
233
00:12:01,189 --> 00:12:02,709
Yeah. Everyone knows.
234
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,629
Yeah, but we've got
so much in common.
235
00:12:04,709 --> 00:12:08,869
I mean not that that matters, but,
you know, it's just... well.
236
00:12:08,949 --> 00:12:12,149
Maybe you've got more in common
with him than you think.
237
00:12:12,229 --> 00:12:15,189
Yeah, maybe it's not just toy boats
that you both take a fancy to.
238
00:12:15,269 --> 00:12:16,709
Give over, you silly sods.
239
00:12:18,829 --> 00:12:21,229
Julie Cook to the manager's
office please,
240
00:12:21,309 --> 00:12:24,229
Julie Cook to the manager's office.
Thank you.
241
00:12:40,589 --> 00:12:42,949
Yeah, I know.
242
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,229
Well that's what happens
243
00:12:44,309 --> 00:12:46,629
when you promote from within,
you see.
244
00:12:46,709 --> 00:12:49,349
Yeah, it's a closed gene pool,
isn't it?
245
00:12:49,429 --> 00:12:52,389
Ha - ha ha ha!
246
00:12:54,309 --> 00:12:57,389
Would you hold on a moment, Keith...
Yes, Julie, what is it now?
247
00:12:57,469 --> 00:12:59,509
The tannoy, you called.
248
00:12:59,589 --> 00:13:01,429
That was ages ago. I did it myself.
249
00:13:01,509 --> 00:13:04,389
Is-is that Keith from HR?
250
00:13:04,469 --> 00:13:07,749
It might be, it might not be.
251
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:10,829
Now if you will excuse me,
I am on a call.
252
00:13:10,909 --> 00:13:12,469
Sorry about that, Keith.
253
00:13:18,909 --> 00:13:20,909
You're confusing him
with someone else.
254
00:13:20,989 --> 00:13:24,029
You're thinking of Bartek, tall,
Polish lad, works nights.
255
00:13:24,109 --> 00:13:26,749
I'm not!
I think you need to fix your gaydar.
256
00:13:26,829 --> 00:13:28,229
Might come in useful, one day.
257
00:13:28,309 --> 00:13:31,949
Just because I share interests with
men, doesn't mean I want to share a bed with them.
258
00:13:32,029 --> 00:13:33,589
Oh I've been on a right goose chase.
259
00:13:33,669 --> 00:13:36,349
How do you mean? Well, the plant
shop. It's gone.
260
00:13:36,429 --> 00:13:38,669
It's been replaced by a
BetFred. Shocking.
261
00:13:38,749 --> 00:13:41,349
Well, what am I suppose to do
with this now?
262
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:44,069
Never mind,
it might come out in flower one day.
263
00:13:44,149 --> 00:13:47,629
Yeah it's not the only thing that
might come out is it? Shut your gob.
264
00:13:47,709 --> 00:13:49,629
You're thinking about her again,
aren't you?
265
00:13:51,829 --> 00:13:54,389
There is no "her"!
You're talking shit mate.
266
00:13:54,469 --> 00:13:56,789
Looks like you're in need
of Leighton's love formula.
267
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,949
Mm. Like a bullet in the bollocks.
268
00:13:59,029 --> 00:14:00,309
Yeah, um,
269
00:14:00,389 --> 00:14:03,109
so try to imagine you're both
travelling at the speed of light...
270
00:14:03,189 --> 00:14:05,629
where you going?
Got my own technique, ain't I.
271
00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:08,149
Tried and tested, mate. Just like
that.
272
00:14:14,029 --> 00:14:17,389
Alright, let's say for the sake
of argument, I am gay.
273
00:14:17,469 --> 00:14:20,029
There'd be benefits.
Less clutter in the bathroom.
274
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,309
One bottle of shower gel'd
do you both.
275
00:14:22,389 --> 00:14:24,469
No more dinner parties with
neighbours you hate.
276
00:14:24,549 --> 00:14:27,909
Course, there's the delicate matter
of getting serviced once in a while.
277
00:14:27,989 --> 00:14:31,229
But from what I hear, once you're
married, all that stops anyway.
278
00:14:31,309 --> 00:14:33,029
Er, not in my experience.
279
00:14:33,109 --> 00:14:34,149
Oh, please no.
280
00:14:34,229 --> 00:14:37,349
My Alan is always very
thorough in that department.
281
00:14:37,429 --> 00:14:39,389
He prides himself on it.
282
00:14:39,469 --> 00:14:41,149
Now steady on, Margaret!
283
00:14:41,229 --> 00:14:44,269
Once a year, as regular as
clockwork,
284
00:14:44,349 --> 00:14:47,109
that Volvo goes in to
Mike at MJ Motors.
285
00:14:47,189 --> 00:14:49,509
And he gets the manual
stamped to prove it.
286
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:50,789
Oh, thank God for that.
287
00:14:51,909 --> 00:14:54,509
Hygiene check in bay 2.
288
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:58,229
Air filter monitor on bakery draught
excluder.
289
00:14:58,309 --> 00:15:01,429
I'll never do it! I'll
never do it!
290
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,949
Excuse me,
do you know where the dog food is?
291
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,869
Why are you asking me?
292
00:15:05,949 --> 00:15:09,509
Do I look like a dog to you? Right.
293
00:15:14,509 --> 00:15:18,589
Takeaways every night. Fridge
permanently stocked with beer.
294
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:20,709
History Channel on 24/7.
295
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:22,269
Andy, you're not gay.
296
00:15:22,349 --> 00:15:25,029
You've just met someone who likes
the same things as you
297
00:15:25,109 --> 00:15:27,229
and you want to hang out with him.
End of.
298
00:15:27,309 --> 00:15:28,869
Well, that's his loss, not mine.
299
00:15:28,949 --> 00:15:30,629
Rest in peace, plant.
300
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,269
Are you sure you want to do that?
301
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,909
Well, it's only got itself to blame.
302
00:15:33,989 --> 00:15:35,149
What's Julie doing?
303
00:15:36,629 --> 00:15:38,789
Do you think we should call Gavin?
304
00:15:38,869 --> 00:15:39,829
Oh, heads up!
305
00:15:42,029 --> 00:15:43,309
Anyone seen Julie?
306
00:15:46,789 --> 00:15:48,949
Come on people, Julie.
307
00:15:49,029 --> 00:15:51,629
You know the one,
'bout yey high, blonde
308
00:15:51,709 --> 00:15:53,949
dormouse in a nylon pencil skirt.
309
00:15:54,029 --> 00:15:56,389
Who's it you looking for? Julie?
Try the freezer aisle.
310
00:15:56,469 --> 00:16:00,029
I saw her helping a customer
to the oven chips. Freezers?
311
00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:01,869
Right you are.
312
00:16:06,149 --> 00:16:09,549
You alright, Julie love? Shall
we pop to the canteen for a nice
313
00:16:09,629 --> 00:16:11,989
cuppa tea, cos you look a bit, er...
314
00:16:12,069 --> 00:16:14,269
tired. I woofed.
315
00:16:15,589 --> 00:16:17,069
She made me woof.
316
00:16:18,589 --> 00:16:21,149
She did woof. I heard her.
317
00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:24,269
But it weren't of your own accord,
love, and that counts for something.
318
00:16:24,349 --> 00:16:29,429
She's having another one of her
episodes. What kind of idiot woofs?
319
00:16:29,509 --> 00:16:31,909
Idiot, idiot, idiot woman.
320
00:16:31,989 --> 00:16:33,709
Come on Julie,
let's get you up, shall we.
321
00:16:34,989 --> 00:16:38,269
Alright, hold on tight, we're going
to go for a nice little ride.
322
00:16:40,349 --> 00:16:41,989
There we are.
323
00:16:48,669 --> 00:16:51,389
Oi. I couldn't,
I couldn't even get a semi. No way!
324
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:52,949
There must be summat wrong with me.
325
00:16:53,029 --> 00:16:54,749
You're like Wall-E.
326
00:16:54,829 --> 00:16:57,069
What? You know the robot that
tidies stuff up,
327
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,669
and falls in love with
another robot?
328
00:16:58,749 --> 00:17:00,589
No. I haven't seen it, mate.
329
00:17:00,669 --> 00:17:03,269
Oh, it's amazing. Yeah,
it made me want to be a robot for a
330
00:17:03,349 --> 00:17:05,269
while, but then I realised robots
don't watch
331
00:17:05,349 --> 00:17:08,069
films, so if I was a robot, then
I wouldn't be able to watch Wall-E.
332
00:17:08,149 --> 00:17:12,749
Hmm. Er, how slow are you two? It's
like watching a couple of
333
00:17:12,829 --> 00:17:14,909
monkeys trying to unpack a suitcase.
Oh, ha ha.
334
00:17:14,989 --> 00:17:17,829
Well, usually we'd be done by now,
but Colin's in...
335
00:17:17,909 --> 00:17:21,189
Ah ha ha ha! Oh, he's a fucking
wind-up merchant, this one!
336
00:17:21,269 --> 00:17:23,349
Couple of dog's dicks.
337
00:17:26,429 --> 00:17:29,429
Oh. My. God! I've just realised!
I swear, you say one word...
338
00:17:29,509 --> 00:17:33,869
Wall-E did watch films, so I
could still be a robot if I wanted!
339
00:17:33,949 --> 00:17:35,189
Yes.
340
00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:38,109
Such a freak.
341
00:17:38,189 --> 00:17:41,749
Oh, and erm, don't worry, I won't
tell anybody you're in love with Lisa.
342
00:17:41,829 --> 00:17:43,309
You...!
343
00:17:51,229 --> 00:17:53,709
Where is she? She's here.
344
00:17:53,789 --> 00:17:56,189
She won't budge.
Seriously, we've tried everything.
345
00:17:56,269 --> 00:17:58,349
Julie! Julie, look who's here.
346
00:17:59,549 --> 00:18:02,149
Hello, Julie! It's Gavin.
347
00:18:10,269 --> 00:18:12,109
I'm going
to need some help here.
348
00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:20,789
Thank you Margaret. Okay.
349
00:18:28,109 --> 00:18:31,629
It'll be Lorraine that's done
it. Tipped her over the edge.
350
00:18:31,709 --> 00:18:33,949
Good job we rescued her.
351
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:36,549
Well, you can't just abandon
people, can you.
352
00:18:37,869 --> 00:18:40,189
What you doing? Same goes for
plants.
353
00:18:41,869 --> 00:18:45,469
Looking better already. My Alan
won't believe his eyes when he sees
354
00:18:45,549 --> 00:18:47,789
us two walking through the door.
355
00:18:47,869 --> 00:18:51,829
Come on then you, cheeky. Home time.
356
00:18:51,909 --> 00:18:53,349
Night night, love. Night.
357
00:18:55,949 --> 00:18:58,989
I've got you something. Ta-daaaa.
To keep your fat legs raised.
358
00:18:59,069 --> 00:19:01,109
Aah, thanks.
359
00:19:01,189 --> 00:19:02,869
What do you mean, fat legs?
360
00:19:02,949 --> 00:19:05,069
Oh my God,
it was just a slip of the tongue.
361
00:19:05,149 --> 00:19:07,509
Do you want the chair or not?
Er, I do, actually.
362
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,709
Oh!
363
00:19:15,229 --> 00:19:16,909
Yes.
364
00:19:18,509 --> 00:19:20,909
Helloooooo. Only me.
365
00:19:20,989 --> 00:19:24,789
Gavin. What a surprise. I wasn't
expecting you till,
366
00:19:24,869 --> 00:19:26,229
next Thursday, isn't it?
367
00:19:26,309 --> 00:19:27,509
Yep, yep that's right.
368
00:19:27,589 --> 00:19:29,309
Much looking forward to it.
369
00:19:29,389 --> 00:19:32,469
No, I'm er, here about Julie.
370
00:19:32,549 --> 00:19:35,829
Julie!
Ugh. What's she done now?
371
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,189
I'm afraid I've had to
send her home.
372
00:19:38,269 --> 00:19:41,229
She seemed a little... under
the weather.
373
00:19:41,309 --> 00:19:44,029
Anything happened to her lately that
you think might have...
374
00:19:44,109 --> 00:19:45,229
unsettled her?
375
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,949
Not that I can think of,
but then you know Julie.
376
00:19:49,109 --> 00:19:52,229
Well, I think I might
stick around a bit, lend a hand.
377
00:19:52,309 --> 00:19:57,269
There's no need. Oh, I think there
is.
378
00:20:05,989 --> 00:20:08,229
So was she still woofing
when you found her?
379
00:20:08,309 --> 00:20:09,909
I'll tell you everything in the pub.
380
00:20:09,989 --> 00:20:13,029
Oh, I can't. Why not? Come on,
you've got to.
381
00:20:13,109 --> 00:20:14,669
Watch Andy have his big
date with Ian.
382
00:20:14,749 --> 00:20:16,269
I can't, I'm meeting em...
383
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,669
Your boyfriend.
384
00:20:17,749 --> 00:20:20,029
He's not my boyfriend.
He's my friend.
385
00:20:20,109 --> 00:20:21,829
Yeah, me
and Emma used to be friends.
386
00:20:21,909 --> 00:20:23,989
You'll be walking down the aisle
before you know it.
387
00:20:24,069 --> 00:20:27,029
Bloody hope not, I've got a bit more
living to do first, thanks.
388
00:20:27,109 --> 00:20:31,229
Not... that I mean marriage isn't
living, I just mean,
389
00:20:31,309 --> 00:20:34,349
it's not what I'm after,
although for some people it's great.
390
00:20:34,429 --> 00:20:36,389
Like for you and Emma, for example.
391
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,309
Cheers. See you tomorrow then.
See you.
392
00:20:41,069 --> 00:20:44,229
You ready for that pint then?
Absolutely.
393
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:48,109
Hey, before we go,
you do know I'm not gay, don't you?
394
00:20:48,189 --> 00:20:50,829
Yeah. I'm happily married.
395
00:20:50,909 --> 00:20:54,989
No, I was just thinking,
if I was gay, which I'm not,
396
00:20:55,069 --> 00:20:56,989
you'd be just
the sort of bloke I'd go for.
397
00:20:57,069 --> 00:20:58,869
Thanks, pal. I appreciate it.
398
00:20:58,949 --> 00:21:01,949
We'd make a right couple, wouldn't
we? Well...
399
00:21:02,029 --> 00:21:03,709
What? What does "well..." mean?
400
00:21:03,789 --> 00:21:07,189
You're not really my type.
Yes, I am.
401
00:21:07,269 --> 00:21:08,269
No you're not.
402
00:21:08,349 --> 00:21:11,829
Look, just to be clear, you do know
this isn't a date, don't you?
403
00:21:11,909 --> 00:21:14,269
Of course. Obviously.
404
00:21:14,349 --> 00:21:16,189
But if it was, it would be a
really good one.
405
00:21:16,269 --> 00:21:18,949
The best date you've ever been on.
I'm just saying...
406
00:21:23,909 --> 00:21:26,909
I'm telling you, after
tonight, this'll definitely be in
407
00:21:26,989 --> 00:21:28,909
your top ten, top five even.
408
00:21:28,989 --> 00:21:30,549
It's not a date.
409
00:21:30,629 --> 00:21:32,909
Yeah, I know. But I'm saying if it
was...
410
00:21:32,989 --> 00:21:34,749
Top five. You mark my words.
411
00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:39,349
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