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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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My God.
2
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- I-I-I weep for our future.
- Pathetic.
3
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When did Ben get a phone?
4
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I upgraded mine,
so I gave him my old one.
5
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No. Absolutely not.
I didn't sign off on that.
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Hey, that's mine.
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Not anymore.
8
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What the hell is wrong with you?
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- I don't like it.
- Phones?
10
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,795
Uh, phones, computers, the-the pads,
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the cloud, you know, the Internet.
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- N-None of it. I don't like it.
- You sound senile.
13
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All right, well,
if living in the real world is senile,
14
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then I am Liza Minnelli.
15
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Real world blows.
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I can't wait till I'm
hooked up to an I.V. drip
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just hammering VR porn stars 24/7.
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Ah, Chip.
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You don't mean that.
The world is full of excitement.
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Just look around you.
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Oh, yeah, like what?
22
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,516
Oh, like, uh...
23
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Oh, politics and pranks,
uh, celebrity interviews,
24
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,654
- cooking competitions.
- What are you doing?
25
00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:56,822
You're just naming stuff on TV.
26
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Listen, guys, it's a beautiful day.
Let's go outside.
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Yeah, right. It's, like,
a thousand frickin' degrees outside.
28
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And God forbid we feel something
or have a human interaction.
29
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I have human interactions all the time.
30
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Later today, I'm meeting up
with some guy I met online.
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- Probably a nerd.
- Or a pervert.
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He's neither, actually.
33
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He's a sick tattoo artist
and he's coming over
34
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to give me some fresh new ink.
35
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Are you sure he's not
a sick new murderer
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coming over to turn
your skin into a cape?
37
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Yeah, you know, maybe Mickey's right.
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I feel like the whole
point of the Internet
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is so you don't have to meet people.
40
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You know, you can just live your
whole life inside a computer.
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No. That wasn't the point
I was making at all.
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Th-The point is, put your phones down.
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Look up, get outside,
have an experience.
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Getting a tattoo is an experience.
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I don't know, I'm thinking maybe
a power fist with nail polish.
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Yes, please put that
on your body forever.
47
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Found her.
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- Found who?
- My car.
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Thought she got stolen,
turns out she's at the impound.
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Want to come?
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Yes, I do. You're coming with me, Ben.
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Let's get out of here before
these two get chopped to bits
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- by some nerd pervert.
- Yeah.
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Yeah, right. A day with you
55
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is way more dangerous
than anything online.
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Ugh, it's hot as hell out here.
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Yeah, my shorts are pulling up.
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Why are we even here, Jimmy?
Just buy a new car.
59
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,892
Or we got a whole fleet of
luxury vehicles at home.
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Yeah, I don't need a new car.
Mine runs just fine.
61
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Got a thousand memories in the ol'
Blue Magoose.
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My memories consist mostly of
you running me over with it.
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You don't put something out to pasture
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00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:17,703
when it's still in its prime, okay?
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00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,539
Now, I know she may not look it,
but this kitty can still...
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Whoa!
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What are you doing?
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- Yo, Officer, is this for sale?
- Everything's for sale.
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She is a beaut, tell you that much.
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- How many miles we working with?
- 273,000.
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Still, that price can't be right.
Only 900 bucks?
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I mean, what's the catch?
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I'm thinking these bullet holes
have something to do with it.
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You would be correct.
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Chip, can I...?
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- Hey, what are you doing?
- Nothing. Beat it.
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- Hey, stop! That's private.
- What is this?
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Nothing. I make doodles sometimes.
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That was a doodle I did.
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Oh, well, this doodle looks very similar
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to a tattoo Sabrina described.
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Nah.
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- Nah?
- Nah.
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Well, I think yes.
I think something smells fishy.
85
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:08,620
Well, I think you're an idiot, so...
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Eh, maybe.
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I'll go see what Sabrina thinks.
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No! Fine! Okay, just...
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Promise me that you
will not tell Sabrina.
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Oh, I already like where this is going.
Okay. Let's go.
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I am Sabrina's tattoo artist.
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Marcus Lella, Ink Well Boston.
I made him up.
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You catfish your sister?
94
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,677
No. What? What is wrong with you? Ew.
95
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,680
Um, I made a fake profile to
get closer to her friend Holly.
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00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,782
I just want to find out,
you know, her likes,
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- her interests, what turns her on.
- Uh-huh.
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Anything I can use.
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Creepy.
100
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I made a bunch of different personas,
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but Marcus is the one that just really,
really broke through.
102
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- Hmm.
- Beautiful black man,
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silver tongue, a million fake followers.
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Oh.
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This is delicious.
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Oh, Sabrina is gonna destroy
you when she finds out.
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Yeah, okay. She's not gonna find out
'cause Marcus is gonna die of AIDS.
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- Wh-What?
- Yeah.
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My cover's basically blown.
110
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I told her the only days I was available
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was the days that she was out of town.
She cancels her trip.
112
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Now I have to give her a tattoo today.
113
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But why AIDS?
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It makes sense.
He's a baller tattoo artist.
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He works with needles
and he gets laid a lot.
116
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Okay, Chip. No. You can't kill this guy.
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It is too good.
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Pay me $200 and I will
help you keep Marcus alive.
119
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Nope. No, thanks. Go.
120
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,661
Let me rephrase that.
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For $200 I won't tell
Sabrina that you are Marcus.
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Yeah!
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00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,740
Ben, feel that rumble in your balls?
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- It kind of hurts.
- Yeah?
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00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,511
- They'll toughen up once you work 'em over.
- Okay.
126
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:40,646
That'll do with the ball talk.
127
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:41,813
Can we get back on the highway, please?
128
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:44,549
I'm telling you, Mick.
You should take the wheel.
129
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:48,553
- This broad can really salsa.
- I don't know what that means.
130
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:49,988
Well, if you were feeling
what I'm feeling,
131
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you'd know exactly what it means.
132
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If we switch places,
will you stop talking?
133
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- I'd consider it.
- Okay. Pull over.
134
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:56,728
Mm-hmm.
135
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,756
Now, she can be a little nasty
136
00:05:04,757 --> 00:05:05,757
- coming out of first.
- Yeah.
137
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:06,960
So you're gonna want to be gentle
138
00:05:06,961 --> 00:05:08,761
- but also firm.
- Right.
139
00:05:12,996 --> 00:05:14,713
- It's locked.
- This one, too.
140
00:05:15,788 --> 00:05:17,582
Ben. Little help.
141
00:05:18,972 --> 00:05:19,885
It's locked.
142
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Oh, good.
143
00:05:30,912 --> 00:05:33,030
Where are we, the surface of the sun?
144
00:05:33,102 --> 00:05:35,035
- Am I in danger?
- What?
145
00:05:35,104 --> 00:05:36,370
No. No, no, no, no, no.
146
00:05:36,472 --> 00:05:38,205
You're good.
We're just playing a little game.
147
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- What's the game?
- Eh...
148
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:42,042
Uh, cops and criminals.
149
00:05:42,111 --> 00:05:43,377
We're the cops, you're the criminal.
150
00:05:43,479 --> 00:05:48,048
- What did I do?
- Well, fire stuff, obviously.
151
00:05:48,117 --> 00:05:50,183
Right? You, uh,
you burned down a high-rise
152
00:05:50,252 --> 00:05:52,219
and collected
the insurance money. You...
153
00:05:52,287 --> 00:05:54,388
Yeah, then you took out
40 cops trying to escape.
154
00:05:54,490 --> 00:05:56,089
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
155
00:05:56,158 --> 00:05:57,424
Yeah, yeah. That'll do.
156
00:05:57,493 --> 00:05:59,860
So, should we grab, like,
a rock and start-start smashing or...
157
00:05:59,928 --> 00:06:00,927
Oh, no, no, no, no.
158
00:06:00,996 --> 00:06:03,196
You're not smashing her.
She's brand-new.
159
00:06:03,265 --> 00:06:05,999
This thing has 270,000 miles on it.
160
00:06:06,068 --> 00:06:07,267
She's probably unsmashable.
161
00:06:07,336 --> 00:06:09,002
I mean, this thing's built like a tank.
162
00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:10,203
Okay, so what do you want to do?
163
00:06:10,272 --> 00:06:11,465
You just want to sit
back and watch him cook
164
00:06:11,474 --> 00:06:13,273
- like a bunny in a microwave?
- No, of course not.
165
00:06:13,342 --> 00:06:16,042
One of us should probably
hoof it into the town
166
00:06:16,111 --> 00:06:17,144
and get a hanger.
167
00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:18,979
It's built like a tank,
168
00:06:19,081 --> 00:06:21,047
but you can get into
it with a coat hanger?
169
00:06:21,116 --> 00:06:22,949
I get it. Okay, you know what?
170
00:06:23,018 --> 00:06:24,885
Why don't you just sit here
171
00:06:24,987 --> 00:06:27,187
and keep looking pretty, Your Majesty,
172
00:06:27,289 --> 00:06:29,289
while I fix the problem?
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00:06:29,358 --> 00:06:32,926
Take care of my baby, and Ben, too.
174
00:06:35,164 --> 00:06:37,297
Good luck, Bear Grylls.
175
00:06:38,217 --> 00:06:40,066
Okay, buddy. Time to smash.
176
00:06:43,038 --> 00:06:45,038
All right, buddy, scoot over
177
00:06:45,107 --> 00:06:47,007
and duck.
178
00:06:54,183 --> 00:06:56,149
Ow!
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00:06:56,218 --> 00:06:58,084
Oh, boy.
180
00:06:59,992 --> 00:07:00,854
Are you okay?
181
00:07:00,956 --> 00:07:03,089
I'm okay.
182
00:07:04,141 --> 00:07:06,293
Fun game!
183
00:07:09,043 --> 00:07:11,965
Sabrina, I want to talk to
you about your friend Marcus.
184
00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,967
You mean the guy Chip's
pretending to be online?
185
00:07:14,036 --> 00:07:15,268
Wha... You already knew this?
186
00:07:15,337 --> 00:07:17,137
Yeah, he left his laptop open.
187
00:07:17,206 --> 00:07:19,139
And no black guy says
"frickin'" that much.
188
00:07:19,208 --> 00:07:21,341
So, uh, why do you keep talking to him?
189
00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:22,876
'Cause I'm trying to
back him into a corner
190
00:07:22,978 --> 00:07:24,144
and force him to confess.
191
00:07:24,213 --> 00:07:26,213
But the dude just keeps doubling down.
It's crazy.
192
00:07:26,281 --> 00:07:29,883
What if I told you there was a way
you could completely destroy him?
193
00:07:29,952 --> 00:07:31,051
Obviously, I'd be interested.
194
00:07:31,153 --> 00:07:34,154
Then I will tell you for $200.
195
00:07:35,618 --> 00:07:36,749
Yeah. No, thanks.
196
00:07:36,784 --> 00:07:38,024
I'll stick to my original plan.
197
00:07:38,093 --> 00:07:39,926
Oh, okay. I understand.
198
00:07:39,995 --> 00:07:42,128
I-I'm just gonna go tell Chip
to get out before it's too late.
199
00:07:42,231 --> 00:07:47,067
All right, Alba. Come on. Fine.
200
00:07:48,062 --> 00:07:49,102
Here.
201
00:07:54,076 --> 00:07:56,209
Okay. Holly is the key.
202
00:07:56,278 --> 00:07:59,012
Chip created Marcus to get to her.
203
00:07:59,081 --> 00:08:00,247
- Holly?
- Mm.
204
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:03,216
Come on. Are you serious?
But she's so lame.
205
00:08:03,285 --> 00:08:07,087
Well, you must out Chip in front of her.
206
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:08,922
Yeah, I mean,
that'll destroy him for sure.
207
00:08:08,991 --> 00:08:11,892
I'm into it, but...
I-I just can't wrap my head around
208
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,093
this Holly thing.
209
00:08:13,195 --> 00:08:15,929
It's like, I have way hotter friends.
210
00:08:17,399 --> 00:08:20,934
I'm enough. I'm in shape.
211
00:08:21,003 --> 00:08:24,905
I have a good body. I'm a good boy.
212
00:08:25,007 --> 00:08:26,955
- Excuse me.
- Oh?
213
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,176
You snuck up on me there, guy.
214
00:08:30,245 --> 00:08:32,946
Yeah, sorry.
These electric cars run pretty quiet.
215
00:08:33,534 --> 00:08:34,948
You look like you could use some help.
216
00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:38,018
Hey, why won't you do me a favor
and go look somewhere else?
217
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,120
You sure? It's, uh, pretty hot out.
218
00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:41,888
Yeah, I'm sure, Mr. Robot.
219
00:08:41,957 --> 00:08:45,992
Go ahead and drive your little
golf car back to the future.
220
00:08:47,362 --> 00:08:50,130
I'm an American man.
221
00:08:53,035 --> 00:08:55,268
Hey, Chip. Great news.
222
00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:58,104
- You threw her off my scent?
- Nah. I'm still working on that.
223
00:08:58,173 --> 00:09:00,106
But also, Holly is downstairs.
224
00:09:00,175 --> 00:09:01,975
What? W-Why? Why?
225
00:09:02,044 --> 00:09:04,177
I-I don't know. But hey, I get it, man.
226
00:09:04,279 --> 00:09:05,278
She's very pretty.
227
00:09:05,347 --> 00:09:07,280
No. This is not good.
228
00:09:07,349 --> 00:09:09,249
I got to get out of here.
229
00:09:09,318 --> 00:09:10,951
No, hey. What are you talking about?
230
00:09:11,019 --> 00:09:12,152
The whole point was to get Holly here,
231
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,920
- and now she's here.
- No.
232
00:09:13,989 --> 00:09:15,288
- I got to kill him right now.
- Ay, no. Chip.
233
00:09:15,357 --> 00:09:18,024
Forget about Marcus. You are Marcus.
234
00:09:18,093 --> 00:09:20,293
Marcus is a very ripped,
handsome black man.
235
00:09:20,362 --> 00:09:22,195
Okay, listen. Sure, sure,
236
00:09:22,264 --> 00:09:24,130
his looks got her in the door,
237
00:09:24,199 --> 00:09:26,166
but she stayed for you.
238
00:09:26,234 --> 00:09:29,696
You know, she liked your words.
She laughed at your jokes.
239
00:09:30,148 --> 00:09:31,037
- You know what?
- Yeah.
240
00:09:31,106 --> 00:09:34,074
Maybe you're right. This is my moment.
241
00:09:34,142 --> 00:09:37,110
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You know, the table is set.
242
00:09:37,179 --> 00:09:39,212
All you have to do is sit down and eat.
243
00:09:39,888 --> 00:09:41,214
I'm gonna frickin' feast.
244
00:09:41,283 --> 00:09:44,317
Ah, yeah. Such a loser.
245
00:09:46,817 --> 00:09:48,057
Come on, you bastard.
246
00:09:48,092 --> 00:09:50,023
Come on.
247
00:09:50,092 --> 00:09:52,031
Open for me, you bitch.
248
00:09:52,066 --> 00:09:55,128
Open sesame. Come on!
249
00:09:55,197 --> 00:09:59,332
Ah, you stupid, stupid machine!
250
00:10:03,138 --> 00:10:04,337
Aunt Mickey, I'm bored.
251
00:10:04,406 --> 00:10:06,339
Can we play a different game?
252
00:10:07,291 --> 00:10:09,242
Yeah. You got it, bud.
253
00:10:10,369 --> 00:10:13,113
Just give me a second to
gather my thoughts, okay?
254
00:10:16,218 --> 00:10:19,957
Ah. I did it.
255
00:10:19,992 --> 00:10:21,388
I did this.
256
00:10:21,456 --> 00:10:24,924
I penetrated the impenetrable machine!
257
00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:28,161
I'm a hero! I save lives!
258
00:10:30,265 --> 00:10:31,998
Oh, yes!
259
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,266
Stand back, buddy, okay?
260
00:10:33,335 --> 00:10:36,002
Coming in the back door. Hang on.
261
00:10:36,071 --> 00:10:37,937
- Here we go. You standing back?
- Uh-huh!
262
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,140
Look out, I'm on my way.
263
00:10:40,208 --> 00:10:41,207
Blasting through.
264
00:10:47,315 --> 00:10:48,248
Damn it.
265
00:10:48,383 --> 00:10:49,929
Uh, Aunt Mickey?
266
00:10:49,964 --> 00:10:51,284
Are you in the trunk?
267
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,221
Yes, Ben. Yes, I am.
268
00:10:56,855 --> 00:10:58,729
Aunt Mickey, are you still there?
269
00:10:58,831 --> 00:11:00,097
Yep.
270
00:11:00,766 --> 00:11:04,034
Just reflecting on all the
choices that landed me here.
271
00:11:05,477 --> 00:11:06,169
What was that?
272
00:11:06,238 --> 00:11:07,938
- What was that noise?
- Oh, it's your phone.
273
00:11:08,007 --> 00:11:10,641
My phone? Can you see it?
Who is it? Is it help?
274
00:11:12,178 --> 00:11:14,812
Your wireless bill is past due.
275
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,114
I know it is! It always is!
276
00:11:17,183 --> 00:11:20,083
Okay, Ben, we got to get that phone.
It's our only hope.
277
00:11:20,152 --> 00:11:21,685
- Move out of the way.
- Why?
278
00:11:21,787 --> 00:11:22,925
'Cause I'm coming in.
279
00:11:25,024 --> 00:11:26,690
Hey, guys. Don't mind me.
280
00:11:26,759 --> 00:11:27,925
I'm just grabbing an alkaline water.
281
00:11:27,993 --> 00:11:30,060
Just finished a brutal Pilates sesh.
282
00:11:30,129 --> 00:11:31,662
You do Pilates?
283
00:11:31,730 --> 00:11:32,996
No, he does not.
284
00:11:33,566 --> 00:11:35,699
You don't know what I
do and what I don't do.
285
00:11:36,168 --> 00:11:37,968
I mean, I love Pilates, too.
286
00:11:38,557 --> 00:11:39,803
- Really? But you've...
- Mm-hmm.
287
00:11:39,872 --> 00:11:42,039
...you got such a lean, toned body.
288
00:11:42,141 --> 00:11:45,976
- Well, yeah, it's 'cause of the Pilates.
- Right.
289
00:11:46,045 --> 00:11:47,778
Kind of like the classic
chicken and egg sitch.
290
00:11:47,847 --> 00:11:48,979
What came first?
291
00:11:49,048 --> 00:11:51,849
Body or the Pilates,
Pilates or the body?
292
00:11:51,917 --> 00:11:52,864
Dear God.
293
00:11:53,018 --> 00:11:54,051
- You're funny.
- Uh...
294
00:11:54,119 --> 00:11:55,686
You're the one telling the jokes.
295
00:11:55,754 --> 00:11:56,787
Right. I'm funny, too.
296
00:11:56,889 --> 00:11:58,722
We have a lot in common.
297
00:11:58,791 --> 00:12:00,691
I can't handle this anymore.
I'm gonna explode his ass.
298
00:12:00,759 --> 00:12:01,892
Wait, no, no, no.
Wait, you can't do that.
299
00:12:01,961 --> 00:12:03,727
- Why not?
- Well, don't you get it?
300
00:12:03,829 --> 00:12:04,928
He's starting to climb the mountain.
301
00:12:05,030 --> 00:12:06,763
The higher he gets,
the harder he will fall.
302
00:12:06,832 --> 00:12:07,965
Don't you want him to fall hard?
303
00:12:08,067 --> 00:12:08,999
- Yes. Yes, I want that.
- Okay.
304
00:12:09,101 --> 00:12:10,734
- Yeah.
- All right, fine.
305
00:12:10,803 --> 00:12:12,135
- We'll let him dig himself a little deeper.
- Yeah.
306
00:12:13,121 --> 00:12:13,937
You know what?
307
00:12:14,006 --> 00:12:15,772
I'm gonna get that because
I'm the man of the house,
308
00:12:15,841 --> 00:12:17,808
but it's been really
cool talking to you.
309
00:12:17,877 --> 00:12:18,976
Yeah.
310
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,012
Hey, is Sabrina home?
311
00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:23,780
Who are you?
312
00:12:23,916 --> 00:12:25,649
I'm Marcus.
313
00:12:25,784 --> 00:12:26,984
Uh...
314
00:12:27,052 --> 00:12:28,118
I think I'm almost there.
315
00:12:29,076 --> 00:12:29,953
Can you see this?
316
00:12:30,022 --> 00:12:32,022
Yeah, is that your fingers?
317
00:12:32,124 --> 00:12:33,690
You're damn right it is.
318
00:12:33,759 --> 00:12:35,092
I'm coming in!
319
00:12:39,198 --> 00:12:41,131
Oh, wow.
320
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:42,866
A lot hotter up here.
321
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,773
Okay.
322
00:12:49,842 --> 00:12:50,874
All right, I'm stuck.
323
00:12:50,943 --> 00:12:52,075
I'm gonna need some help.
324
00:12:52,748 --> 00:12:53,844
How?
325
00:12:53,913 --> 00:12:56,046
Wrap your arms around
my neck like a football,
326
00:12:56,115 --> 00:12:57,881
and yank as hard as you can, okay?
327
00:12:57,950 --> 00:12:58,949
You got this.
328
00:12:59,018 --> 00:13:00,817
Three, two, one.
329
00:13:02,788 --> 00:13:03,954
All right! Stop!
330
00:13:04,089 --> 00:13:05,856
Oh. All right.
331
00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:14,831
Okay, this is as far as I can go.
332
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:17,067
I'm gonna need you to take
it into the end zone. Okay.
333
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,670
No, no, no! Get... don't...
334
00:13:19,772 --> 00:13:21,638
But don't touch me anymore, okay?
335
00:13:21,707 --> 00:13:23,740
Okay. We're not doing football any...
that's my fault.
336
00:13:23,809 --> 00:13:24,841
We're not doing football.
337
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:26,944
We're switching sports.
338
00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:29,046
- We're on to fishing.
- How do we do that?
339
00:13:29,114 --> 00:13:32,015
Well, for starters,
we're gonna need a fishing rod.
340
00:13:32,084 --> 00:13:35,953
So I want you to close your eyes
and help me take off my bra.
341
00:13:40,926 --> 00:13:41,959
Oh, hey.
342
00:13:42,094 --> 00:13:43,660
You're up.
343
00:13:44,272 --> 00:13:45,662
Who the hell are you?
344
00:13:45,731 --> 00:13:46,863
I'm Gary.
345
00:13:46,932 --> 00:13:49,866
You, uh, passed out
on the road back there.
346
00:13:49,935 --> 00:13:51,001
What are you talk...
347
00:13:51,070 --> 00:13:52,869
Whoa, are you tickling me, man?
348
00:13:52,938 --> 00:13:54,104
Oh, no. That's the seat.
349
00:13:54,173 --> 00:13:56,840
You've got the massage function on.
350
00:13:56,909 --> 00:13:58,775
- Massage function?
- Now, don't worry.
351
00:13:58,877 --> 00:14:00,043
We'll be at the hospital pretty soon,
352
00:14:00,112 --> 00:14:01,878
- and they'll fix you right up.
- Oh, no.
353
00:14:01,947 --> 00:14:03,847
I'm not going to any hospital,
all right?
354
00:14:03,949 --> 00:14:05,082
I got a car situation.
355
00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:07,985
I need, like, a-a slim jim or something.
356
00:14:08,053 --> 00:14:09,987
Oh. I'm sorry, I don't have one.
357
00:14:10,055 --> 00:14:12,633
Uh, but I'm sure we can find one.
358
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:15,826
Computer,
what's the nearest auto body shop?
359
00:14:15,894 --> 00:14:18,662
Displaying matches for "auto body shop."
360
00:14:18,731 --> 00:14:21,741
This car just kind of does
everything for you, huh?
361
00:14:21,776 --> 00:14:23,033
Pretty cool, right?
362
00:14:23,102 --> 00:14:25,102
Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty cool.
363
00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:27,671
Till it gets sick of you
barking commands at it
364
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:29,640
and slams your ass into a wall.
365
00:14:29,742 --> 00:14:31,696
Ha! Right.
366
00:14:31,731 --> 00:14:33,644
I guess I'll take my chances.
367
00:14:33,712 --> 00:14:35,712
L-Look, look, man,
I'm kind of in a rush, all right?
368
00:14:35,781 --> 00:14:37,848
So I don't know if this
spacecraft has another gear,
369
00:14:37,916 --> 00:14:39,816
- but if you could punch it...
- Well...
370
00:14:39,952 --> 00:14:40,951
Sure thing.
371
00:14:42,755 --> 00:14:44,121
Oh...
372
00:14:44,189 --> 00:14:46,156
Whoa.
373
00:14:49,962 --> 00:14:51,128
- Who the hell is this guy?
- Oh.
374
00:14:51,196 --> 00:14:52,896
He's a prostitute I found online.
375
00:14:52,965 --> 00:14:53,964
Pretty good, right?
376
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,767
No, not good.
He looks nothing like my Marcus.
377
00:14:56,835 --> 00:14:59,703
- Well, oh, he doesn't seem to mind.
- Yeah.
378
00:14:59,805 --> 00:15:01,112
That's the problem, okay?
379
00:15:01,147 --> 00:15:02,639
I-I can't compete with that.
380
00:15:02,741 --> 00:15:03,807
Oh, Chip.
381
00:15:03,876 --> 00:15:05,709
You need to see the bigger picture.
382
00:15:05,778 --> 00:15:08,779
If Marcus is here and you are here,
then you can't be Marcus.
383
00:15:08,814 --> 00:15:10,747
I did you a favor. Now,
384
00:15:10,816 --> 00:15:12,849
you got a chance to get the
girl and get away clean.
385
00:15:12,918 --> 00:15:15,719
- Okay. Let's do this.
- Mm-hmm.
386
00:15:15,788 --> 00:15:18,752
The ultimate showdown:
creator versus creation.
387
00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:19,890
Mind versus body.
388
00:15:19,925 --> 00:15:22,726
Superior intellect versus
hulking physical strength.
389
00:15:22,828 --> 00:15:23,894
Yes. Yes to all of those things.
390
00:15:23,962 --> 00:15:24,995
Now, go get Holly.
391
00:15:25,097 --> 00:15:26,630
Go, go.
392
00:15:27,866 --> 00:15:29,700
So, what's up, guys?
393
00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:32,135
Hmm?
394
00:15:32,204 --> 00:15:34,669
I can't believe that
little troll hired somebody
395
00:15:34,704 --> 00:15:35,639
- to play Marcus.
- Yeah.
396
00:15:35,708 --> 00:15:37,741
As if no one would notice a
completely different black guy.
397
00:15:39,011 --> 00:15:41,893
Oh, yeah, Chip is very racist, yeah.
398
00:15:41,928 --> 00:15:42,679
You know,
399
00:15:42,748 --> 00:15:44,715
- you need to turn up the heat.
- How?
400
00:15:44,817 --> 00:15:45,982
Every time I get him against the ropes,
he finds a way
401
00:15:46,051 --> 00:15:47,751
to wiggle his stupid little body out.
402
00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:49,686
Well, by, uh...
403
00:15:49,722 --> 00:15:52,823
Ooh. By pushing fake Marcus
and Holly closer together.
404
00:15:52,891 --> 00:15:54,725
- Damn. I like that.
- Yeah.
405
00:15:54,827 --> 00:15:56,660
- Mm-hmm.
- You're pretty good at this, Alba.
406
00:15:56,729 --> 00:15:57,861
Mm, well, I try.
407
00:15:57,930 --> 00:16:01,631
Marcus, was it?
You said you're a tattoo artist?
408
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:03,799
Yeah, well, you know,
I'm an artist first and foremost,
409
00:16:03,834 --> 00:16:05,773
but I do like tattoos.
410
00:16:06,739 --> 00:16:07,871
Yeah.
411
00:16:07,940 --> 00:16:11,878
This one, I, uh,
I got it when my grandma died.
412
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:13,292
Oh.
413
00:16:13,327 --> 00:16:14,242
- Yeah.
- Holly.
414
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,543
Uh... I'm sorr... weren't you saying
that you wanted a tattoo?
415
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:20,282
Oh, I don't know. I really want one,
I just wouldn't know where to put it.
416
00:16:20,315 --> 00:16:21,716
Oh, well, I'm sure
Marcus could show you where
417
00:16:21,749 --> 00:16:24,377
- to put it. I mean...
- Oh, yeah. Most definitely.
418
00:16:24,412 --> 00:16:26,221
Why don't you two just go up
to my room and, you know,
419
00:16:26,254 --> 00:16:27,956
do a little free consultation
or whatever?
420
00:16:27,989 --> 00:16:29,423
Yeah. No.
421
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,281
Or we could, you know, keep down here.
422
00:16:31,316 --> 00:16:32,460
Keep rapping on the current events.
423
00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:34,015
Yeah, no, I'm straight.
424
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:34,963
Let's roll, Holly.
425
00:16:37,526 --> 00:16:38,735
Holly, wait.
426
00:16:40,005 --> 00:16:41,772
That's not the real Marcus.
427
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,006
I'm the real Marcus.
428
00:16:43,075 --> 00:16:45,842
- What?
- Marcus Lella of Ink Well Boston.
429
00:16:45,944 --> 00:16:48,111
I built an online persona
to get closer to you.
430
00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:49,813
What are you talking about?
431
00:16:49,882 --> 00:16:51,114
It wasn't Marcus who commented
432
00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:53,083
on your bikini pics,
saying "Get it, girl."
433
00:16:53,152 --> 00:16:54,985
Marcus didn't DM you, uh,
434
00:16:55,053 --> 00:16:57,456
well wishes after you had
your wisdom teeth pulled out.
435
00:16:57,491 --> 00:16:59,890
I did. Now, listen, I know I'm not
436
00:16:59,925 --> 00:17:02,726
nearly as big and black as he is,
but I promise you,
437
00:17:02,795 --> 00:17:05,796
if you just give me a chance,
I promise I can make you happy.
438
00:17:06,820 --> 00:17:08,559
You're Marcus?
439
00:17:09,968 --> 00:17:11,835
It's hilarious, right?
440
00:17:11,937 --> 00:17:13,970
I've been trying to smoke this
little perv out for weeks.
441
00:17:14,039 --> 00:17:15,739
Finally got him.
442
00:17:15,808 --> 00:17:17,007
Wait. You knew about this?
443
00:17:17,042 --> 00:17:18,742
And you were just gonna
let me hook up with...
444
00:17:18,844 --> 00:17:19,943
Trey.
445
00:17:20,045 --> 00:17:21,433
Yeah, my real name's Trey.
446
00:17:21,847 --> 00:17:22,879
Oh, my God.
447
00:17:22,948 --> 00:17:25,749
Both of you, stay the hell away from me.
448
00:17:31,824 --> 00:17:33,857
- Did you get it?
- No.
449
00:17:33,926 --> 00:17:35,625
Should I try pulling you in again?
450
00:17:35,694 --> 00:17:37,761
No, nope. That ship has sailed.
451
00:17:37,796 --> 00:17:38,929
I had to take my bottoms
off to beat the heat.
452
00:17:38,997 --> 00:17:40,764
Look, it's all you, now, okay?
453
00:17:40,866 --> 00:17:42,732
So take a deep breath and focus.
454
00:17:44,036 --> 00:17:45,869
Oh, no...
455
00:17:45,971 --> 00:17:47,558
- Oh! I got something.
- You did?
456
00:17:47,593 --> 00:17:48,772
Reel it in.
457
00:17:49,672 --> 00:17:50,581
I can't, it's stuck.
458
00:17:50,616 --> 00:17:51,708
Pull harder, Ben.
459
00:17:56,815 --> 00:17:58,682
What's happening? Are we moving?
460
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:00,750
- Yep.
- Oh, God, no, that's not good.
461
00:18:00,819 --> 00:18:02,719
All right, okay, don't panic.
462
00:18:02,788 --> 00:18:06,823
Just cross your fingers and
hope we slam into something.
463
00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:14,496
- Whee! We're flying!
- Yeah, what's going on behind us, buddy?
464
00:18:14,564 --> 00:18:16,096
Can you give me the play-by-play?
465
00:18:16,933 --> 00:18:20,100
Uh, there's a big open field,
and stuff's going by real fast.
466
00:18:20,169 --> 00:18:22,035
Uh, how fast?
'Cause it feels pretty fast.
467
00:18:22,104 --> 00:18:24,404
- Um, really fast.
- Are we headed towards anything?
468
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,940
- There's some grass.
- Oh, that's... grass is good.
469
00:18:27,009 --> 00:18:28,794
- Gra... I love grass.
- And some flowers.
470
00:18:28,878 --> 00:18:30,314
Flowers are beautiful. No problem.
471
00:18:30,379 --> 00:18:33,113
- And a big old pond.
- No, no, no. No ponds.
472
00:18:41,256 --> 00:18:42,956
- Oh, my God, we're alive!
- We're alive!
473
00:18:43,025 --> 00:18:44,091
We're okay! Are you all right?
474
00:18:44,159 --> 00:18:45,225
I'm great, that was fun.
475
00:18:45,294 --> 00:18:46,927
Yeah, yeah. Super fun.
476
00:18:46,996 --> 00:18:47,995
Oh, wow, though...
477
00:18:48,063 --> 00:18:50,063
water's really filling up back here.
478
00:18:50,132 --> 00:18:52,065
It feels...
it feels really good, actually.
479
00:18:52,427 --> 00:18:53,767
Something touched my leg.
480
00:18:53,836 --> 00:18:54,901
Now, get off me!
481
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:55,969
Look, the phone!
482
00:18:56,038 --> 00:18:57,004
The phone!
483
00:18:57,072 --> 00:18:58,038
I did it!
484
00:18:58,107 --> 00:18:59,172
I saved us again.
485
00:18:59,241 --> 00:19:00,874
- Should I call 911?
- Yes!
486
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:02,109
Get it.
487
00:19:03,946 --> 00:19:05,021
Okay.
488
00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:06,847
911. What's your emergency?
489
00:19:06,915 --> 00:19:09,916
Send help. I-I'm mostly nude
in the back of a cop car
490
00:19:09,985 --> 00:19:13,020
about to drown with a young boy.
491
00:19:13,088 --> 00:19:15,856
Well, I have to hand it to you,
you didn't go down easy.
492
00:19:15,924 --> 00:19:17,157
Where the hell did you find that guy?
493
00:19:17,259 --> 00:19:19,760
I didn't. Alba did.
494
00:19:19,862 --> 00:19:21,094
What?
495
00:19:21,163 --> 00:19:23,130
Alba, you told me that Chip hired him.
496
00:19:23,198 --> 00:19:25,065
- Yeah, you, uh...
- Hold on.
497
00:19:25,134 --> 00:19:26,199
Why are you even speaking to her?
498
00:19:26,268 --> 00:19:28,201
You were supposed to be working for me.
499
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:29,970
I was. I-I mean, I am.
500
00:19:30,039 --> 00:19:32,039
- Uh, I just, uh...
- Alba.
501
00:19:32,107 --> 00:19:34,207
What is going on?
Why did you do all of this?
502
00:19:35,191 --> 00:19:37,744
Uh, well, it was hot, I was bored.
503
00:19:37,813 --> 00:19:39,980
I like drama. Hmm.
504
00:19:41,850 --> 00:19:43,150
Mickey?
505
00:19:44,332 --> 00:19:45,085
Whoa.
506
00:19:45,154 --> 00:19:46,253
How was the real world?
507
00:19:48,290 --> 00:19:50,924
It was, um, it was great.
508
00:19:50,993 --> 00:19:53,026
Thanks for asking.
509
00:19:53,095 --> 00:19:54,995
Are you wearing a grocery bag?
510
00:19:55,064 --> 00:19:56,363
Mickey lost her pants in the pond.
511
00:19:56,431 --> 00:19:58,165
Okay. Let's not gossip.
512
00:20:02,137 --> 00:20:04,071
Huh.
513
00:20:08,277 --> 00:20:11,011
Come on. No way.
514
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,947
You get Pearl Jam 24/7 on this thing?
515
00:20:14,049 --> 00:20:15,949
It's just satellite radio, man.
516
00:20:16,018 --> 00:20:17,184
You can get that in any car.
517
00:20:17,286 --> 00:20:18,251
Yeah, not my car.
518
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,821
Hey, can you get porn on this screen?
519
00:20:20,889 --> 00:20:22,022
I don't know.
520
00:20:22,091 --> 00:20:23,256
Hey, computer, play porn.
521
00:20:23,358 --> 00:20:25,158
I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
522
00:20:25,227 --> 00:20:27,227
Porn. Whatever you got.
523
00:20:27,296 --> 00:20:29,930
Amateur, point of view, Asian...
524
00:20:29,998 --> 00:20:31,798
No, no, could you not...?
525
00:20:31,867 --> 00:20:33,900
I've got kids, so...
526
00:20:34,002 --> 00:20:35,836
All right, well, that's fine,
I got kids, too.
527
00:20:35,938 --> 00:20:37,204
It doesn't mean we can't
watch a little porn together.
528
00:20:37,272 --> 00:20:39,005
- Relax.
- Y-You know, I think
529
00:20:39,108 --> 00:20:40,173
it's pretty close to where you said.
530
00:20:40,242 --> 00:20:41,208
Does this look right to you?
531
00:20:41,276 --> 00:20:42,809
Oh, yeah, yeah. This is good.
532
00:20:42,878 --> 00:20:44,010
- This is really good.
- Oh, okay.
533
00:20:44,113 --> 00:20:45,879
I should get out here, too,
because I don't want her
534
00:20:45,981 --> 00:20:48,181
to see me in a car like
this with a guy like you.
535
00:20:48,283 --> 00:20:51,118
Yeah, but I'll tell you what:
536
00:20:51,186 --> 00:20:53,120
thanks for the ride, Morpheus.
537
00:20:53,222 --> 00:20:54,788
- Oh.
- Good luck in the future...
538
00:21:08,003 --> 00:21:09,136
Mickey?!
539
00:21:09,204 --> 00:21:11,004
Ben?!
540
00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:13,173
Anybody?!
541
00:21:18,113 --> 00:21:20,847
This could be it.
542
00:21:22,117 --> 00:21:23,850
I save lives!
543
00:21:23,919 --> 00:21:25,819
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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