All language subtitles for Columbo.1x06.Suitable.for.Framing

You're late.

I'm sorry.
The path out there was dark.

Anybody see you?

No. And I parked
where you told me.

Good. Take that.

Pull yourself together.
There's no reason to be frightened.

It's just my uncle.
And I assure you,

he's far more amiable now
than he ever was when he was alive.

I'll be all right.

Of course you will, my love.

I couldn't possibly be any help to
your career from inside a gas chamber.

Don't say things like that.

Anyway, what difference
does my career make?

Dale, look,
they're all yours now.

They will be,
but not unless you do your part.

Don't worry, Dale.
I... I was just a little upset.

- Now I'm fine.
- Good.

Now remember,
when you open the window, fire high.

You better get started.

That electric blanket
goes back upstairs...

Top drawer, left side. How many times
have you told me that? Dale, hurry!

All right, Melvin,
5,000 and it's a steal.

Would you please move faster?
Uh, boys, keep those bottles popping.

Thank you. Good evening.

One thousand dollars?
And you're not even a Frenchman.

Well, you see, the only thing
I really need is...

something pink
for the guest bathroom.

I just paint the pictures, ma'am,
I don't set prices.

Don't pick on my artist, darling.

After all, your husband
adores cactus. He told me so.

I know, but it's the wrong shade
of pink for the wallpaper.

Well, how about 800?

I mean, that's if he takes
the green Indian to go in the office.

Mind you... I'm so glad you...

Oh, excuse me.

Dale! Dale Kingston,
I don't believe it.

Your invitation said free champagne,
Mitilda, my love.

Oh, you're such a snob. You never
come to my showings. Sam, quick!

Well, I had nothing to do
tonight anyway.

I was half hoping that
it'd be over by...

Oh, it's just begun.
Please, Dale. Excuse me.

Sam... This is Sam Franklin.

It's his first private showing,
so would you please be nice?

Honey, this is Dale Kingston.

- How do you do?
- Yes, yes. How do you do, sir?

Oh, you must be the artist of these,
uh, arid little landscapes, aren't you?

Well, they're not too bad.
Not too bad at all.

- Mr. Kingston? Mr. Dale Kingston?
- Yes.

And you're the famous art critic?

Well, as of the moment, yes,
whatever the moment happens to be...

Of course he is, darling, and you're
already raving about Sam's work.

I'm sorry, dear.

But you couldn't possibly have
this cactus for a penny less than 12.

- I have five minutes to 11:00, sir.
- Five to 11:00.

- Yes.
- So it is.

Thank you very much, Mr., uh, Franklin.

- Oh, of course you'd love champagne.
- Oh, you bet.

Sam, the painting.

And so that the meaning of the mobile
stems not only from its form,

but the relationship between the pieces,
which gives it its meaning.

And I suppose the relationship between
the pieces is really where it's at, isn't it?

Yes.

It's not so much a question of
his masculinity.

I think the artist
just saw him that way.

I'll drink to that.

You notice no matter
how abstract the painter,

he always signs his name
realistically, doesn't he?

Of course.

- Were you home tonight?
- Oh, no, sir.

My wife and I left the house at 8:00.
It's our regular night off.

There's just you and your wife?
No other servants in a place this size?

Well, Mr. Matthews seldom entertained.

He was divorced many years ago
and has very few friends.

Tonight I believe he planned
to spend in his room reading.

Just a minute.

You got all this, Columbo?
You want anything more from Mr. Evans?

No.

Please, sir!

Mr. Matthews was very fussy
about smoking.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, Doctor,
call us from downtown, will ya?

Oh, I don't think the autopsy
will change my opinion.

It was a single bullet.
Must've died almost instantly.

And the time of death?

Oh, I'd say around 11:00,
give or take a few minutes.

- Wasn't it?
- Yeah. The body was still warm.

Talk to you later, Captain.

Oh, Mr. Kingston. I've been trying to
reach you. I'm so terribly sorry.

- Somebody broke in, I assume?
- Yes, your uncle probably came down...

I told him about it. He just got back to
his apartment at 2:00,

after some party at a gallery, he says.

There are two paintings missing, I think.
I told them to hold everything for you.

Mr. Kingston, we've been waiting to dust
some of these canvases for fingerprints.

Evans wouldn't let us
touch anything but the frames.

Well, it's perfectly all right.

No problem as long as you're careful.
Which ones did you want?

These right here.

I suppose he's gonna be
your new boss, huh?

Well, I would hope he keeps on
and keeps the house.

After all, he's Mr. Matthews's
only living relative.

- But, really, sir, at a time like this...
- Oh, listen. I'm sorry.

Of course. You're absolutely right.

Would you like to spend some time with
your wife? I'm sure she's very upset.

Thank you.

Uh, Mr. Kingston,
before you get too involved there...

- Excuse me a minute, Captain.
- Okay.

I wonder if maybe first you'd try to
help me out with a problem I have?

- Yes.
- Um, it's this...

- This painting.
- Well, what's the problem?

Haven't you ever seen people
without faces before?

They've loaned them out.

You've heard of two-faced people,
I suppose?

Oh, yes. But, uh...

You see, it's this
crazy signature that bothers me...

DeGrote. George DeGrote.
Quite famous.

I thought so. Isn't that funny?

'Cause I noticed the signatures
on this other painting, um...

- Does that say Birnbaum?
- Yes, it does.

That's what I thought.
"Birnbaum."

You'd think that these artists
would be able to write more clearly.

Really, do you think all this is
quite appropriate at this time, Mr....

Oh, I guess not. Uh, I realize this has been
a terrible shock for you.

- I wanna express my deepest sympathies.
- Thank you, Mr....

- Lieutenant Columbo.
- Oh, yes. Thank you.

Uh, tell me, Mr. Kingston,
has anybody tried to rob this place before?

Certainly. This place is
a magnet for art thieves.

It's one of the finest collections
in the world.

Is that so?
Really? Very impressive.

You seem inordinately fascinated
by these paintings.

Well, I'll tell you what bothers me.
You see, it's this.

If you came in here to grab some paintings,
wouldn't you grab a DeGrote first...

instead of a Birnbaum?

Perhaps.
But then, I'm an art critic.

- You're the detective.
- You're the art critic. That's right.

And I'm gonna need a lot of your help.
I suppose you noticed that already.

Uh, like in there, there's two little frames
and they're empty,

and there doesn't seem to be
anything around that fits inside.

Oh, no.

Now, Mr. Evans wasn't quite sure either.

He thought that one of 'em
had some dancing girls.

But I don't think
he knows much about art either.

He also said that a lot of these things
had just been rehung.

That they'd just come back from
some kind of a traveling exhibit?

Yes, that's what those crates are
out in the hall there.

I unpacked most of them myself.

You know, I noticed that a piece of that
wrapping paper had been torn loose.

These two are listed
in the exhibit catalogue.

Got that in here somewhere.

Here, look.

- Those were the two that were taken?
- Yes.

- Hey, they're beautiful.
- They're two of my favorites. Degas pastels.

Pastels? You mean like
the kids use in school?

Nobody ever used pastels
like Degas, Lieutenant.

These two alone together happen to be worth
over a half million dollars.

- You know, that's funny too.
- Not at all.

There isn't a painting in this entire exhibit
that's worth under 50,000.

No, I mean that out there,
somebody picked a Birnbaum first.

Then when your uncle interfered,

then when he went to his desk
and took out a gun,

then when he was killed...
in the middle of all that, then...

the thief suddenly got smart,

and he took two of the most valuable
paintings in the house and he ran.

Guess that does seem
a bit inconsistent, doesn't it?

Then life has its own inconsistencies.

- Lt. Columbo?
- Oh, Sally, nice of you to come.

Let's go out back. I wanna try something.

Uh, Mr. Kingston,
you might be interested in this.

- Uh, you were here?
- Yeah, that's right.

- Wait there. I'll holler.
- All right.

Hi. Hi, Charlie. How are you?

What's all this?

Well, you see, they have private patrolmen
here to make checks at every hour.

- At 11:00...
- No, no, no. I mean this, this, this.

- What? Oh, the lock?
- Yes.

Well, you see, he found that open.

The lock was scarred like
it'd been forced from the outside.

Of course, what I don't understand
is why the burglar alarm didn't go off.

A professional thief could
manage that pretty well, couldn't he?

No, no, no. You see, professionals,
they always pick windows.

They're just easier to crack.

- Sally, are you ready?
- Whenever you are.

Okay. When I holler inside,
you run just the way I told you to run.

Okay! Here she goes!

- Well?
- That's it. That's what I heard.

I couldn't be sure before.
I was running myself.

- Now you heard high heels on those stone steps?
- Yes, sir.

- Thank you very much.
- You bet.

- Charlie, will you get Sally?
- Wait a minute.

- You mean, you think the thief was a woman?
- One of 'em.

One of them?

Well, there were too many pictures for
one person to carry, don't you think?

And besides, the burglar alarm thing.

You know, there's only one way
to really beat that...

is if you have somebody else
from the inside open the door.

I don't think I understand.

You know what?
That's the trouble. Neither do I.

Well, if you ever want to know
any more about art, Lieutenant.

Oh. Thank you very much. Well, listen,
now that you mention it, tell me this.

How does a thief get rid of
a painting like that?

I mean, if they're that famous,
how can anybody sell it?

Well, someone in
a foreign country maybe.

Although, art thieves usually try to
make a deal of some kind with the owner,

the gallery, the insurance company.

You see, that's what I thought.
It's just like a kidnapping.

In other words, what they want really
is the ransom.

- Exactly.
- Right.

So, you know in this case,

somebody must be pretty scared
right now, don't you think?

Might be anxious to settle quick.

- Possibly.
- Sure.

You know, and since you're the first person
they might try to contact...

I'll tell you what.
You give me your telephone number...

and I'll put a tap on your phone
and we'll monitor all your calls.

You wouldn't mind that, would you?

Of course not. Why should I?

Gee, thank you very much.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Look out!
- Gee, I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right. I've been
bumping into things myself today.

A little bit too much of
the grape last night.

I didn't clear out of here till 3:00 a.m.

Mr. Kingston went home
a little earlier than that, I guess.

Well, he stayed long enough
to make every other gallery owner...

on the street green with envy.

Of course, you know,
Dale is usually in London or Paris.

He doesn't fool around
with us peasants.

I'll tell you what I really wanna know...
what time he got here.

Yes. I know, I know.
Uh, Sam is right through there.

I called the parking boy.
Be over in a minute.

Sam, this is the policeman
who phoned.

- Is it all right?
- Uh, bring him in.

They interrupted Rembrandt,
why shouldn't they interrupt me?

Yeah, what is it?

- If I'm interrupting something...
- No, you're not interrupting anything.

Uh, forgive the mood,
but, uh, you caught me in a bad day.

- This here is Chris.
- Oh, hi.

- Hello. Are you an artist?
- No.

- I can come back another time. I think I'm...
- Go ahead and interrupt.

- I'm here under duress.
- Thanks a lot.

- Stop moving! I'm trying to paint you.
- Well, paint.

Well, actually, it's very routine.
It's not that important. I think...

Well, me and champagne
are not routine.

And if you're interested in
finding out about Mr. Kingston,

what time he got here I don't know.

Uh, there was something about
his watch, but I'm not sure.

Might help if you try to remember.

Oh, yeah. Well...

Uh, there was something wrong
with his watch.

Yeah, that's it, and, uh,
and he asked me what time it was.

- That's it.
- That's it. I see.

- Well, thanks. Sorry to bother you.
- No bother.

- Right.
- I'm in my commercial phase right now.

Yeah. Sam's just mad at
the whole world that's all.

That's because I made him
put her in his pretty pink cactus.

Can you imagine? He thinks
the artist should decide what the...

Mitilda, are you looking for me?

Fine.

Well, listen, I'll let you
finish your work. Excuse me.

- Do come back soon.
- Stop moving!

All right.

Hey, Joe, didn't the other boys tell me
you parked Kingston's car last night?

Sure, I remember.
The guy who gave me two bucks.

Two bucks?
Just for parking a car?

No. He lost a cuff link.
I helped him search the whole car for it,

trunk and everything.

- Did you find it?
- No. Why?

Well, you know, most people's trunks,
they're kind of messy to look into.

His wasn't. Nothing but a spare tire
and a topcoat. Nothing else in the whole car.

What time was that?
Would you know?

Oh, sure, 'cause he asked me.

Something was wrong with
his watch, I guess.

It was five minutes to 11:00, sir.

Mmm. Thanks. All right, that's it.

Now, uh, what is this all about?
Because, like, uh,

Dale's uncle was murdered
sometime last night, right?

Oh, no. Oh, no...

When I think what this
is gonna do to the art world.

Can you imagine an art critic inheriting
that gorgeous collection? I do.

Hey. Hey, would you look at that.

A blue horse?

Painting the ladies and gentlemen
of the Spanish court with a savage brush.

Relentlessly, unremittingly
showing them in every detail,

down to the tiniest wart.

But, when you take the "W"
off of wart,

you are still left with "art,"
and Goya was the penultimate artist.

We will continue our discussion
of this fascinating artist tomorrow.

Copies of today's lecture...

may be obtained for a nominal fee
by writing to this station.

This is Dale Kingston.
Good afternoon.

Be with us again tomorrow
when Channel 16...

brings you
Dale Kingston's World of Art.

Studio 2. Yeah, we just broke.
I'll call him.

- Telephone call, Mr. Kingston.
- Thank you, Phil.

Phil, listen. While I've got you,
can we manage to get... Is that on?

Phil, can't you cut that camera off me
the minute I finish talking, please?

I'm always left with egg on my face.
Thank you.

- Yes.
- Dale, I finally got you.

I remembered you'd be doing your show.

What are you doing calling?
I told you not to call for a whole week.

I know, but I was worried.

That's just free-floating anxiety, dear.
Now, relax. Everything's going just...

I'm terribly sorry.
No, I simply don't have time.

Well, Lieutenant.

Gee, I wish you wouldn't hang up
like that, Mr. Kingston.

I mean, somebody you don't know
tries to call...

Lieutenant, I get a dozen calls a day
just like that from would-be artists,

from ladies who want to evaluate...

some stupid, little print their maiden aunts
left them in their attic.

- If I paid attention to every one of 'em...
- You mean, that was a woman?

Yes, and it wasn't any ransom call
if that's what you're thinking.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a museum
to go to, then a dinner, then a lecture.

Well, I was hoping that
we could have a little time to talk.

We can get together later if you'd like.

No, I've gotta take my makeup off anyway.

- May as well do it now. Follow me.
- Fine. Thank you very much.

- Uh, so this is a television studio, huh?
- Yes.

- Quite a place.
- Well, it's a barn, really.

I'm sure it's not as glamorous
as you'd thought it'd be.

That's right. It isn't.

But things aren't really
what they seem to be, are they?

My, how observant you are.

Hildy, my beauty,

how fast do you think
we can get this paint off me?

I'll use high-speed turpentine.

Well, anyway, uh,

I'm sorry to bother you here,
but you haven't been home much.

Now that's too bad in a way.

That tap on your phone,
it's not helping us any.

I'm not
your only possibility, Lieutenant.

I don't know whether you know this,
but my uncle was married once.

In fact, his ex-wife still lists herself
in the phone book under her married name.

So, you see, whoever took those paintings
could very well be trying to contact her.

You know, somebody mentioned that.

So I saw Mrs. Matthews this morning.
We're watching her phone too.

Oh, that must have been
some interview.

- Aunt Edna can be a bit trying.
- I thought she was kind of nice.

Oh, she's very nice, but, uh, trying.

Well, you said you had
some questions you wanted to ask me?

Yeah. Nothing important,
just a few details.

Like that backdoor thing.
That really bothers me.

What about it?

Um, does that coffee machine work?

Yes, of course it does.
What about it?

Well, you know, the lab says that...

there was just no way for that lock
to be forced from the outside.

Thank you, Hildy. So?

- Would you like a coffee?
- No, thanks.

Well, how did anyone get in?

You see, Evans is positive that...

all the doors were locked
when he left the house earlier.

And I don't see your uncle
letting anyone in, unless he knew 'em.

Did you come all this way
just to tell me that?

Well, I thought you'd be interested.
Like, I did clear up one routine thing.

You know that gallery you went to?
Checked out. Hope you don't mind.

Well, that's your job. And?

The parking lot boy, he remembered
when you got there all right.

So that if Mr. Matthews was killed at 11:00,
then you sure didn't do it.

Now isn't that a shame, Lieutenant?

And here I am your best
and most obvious suspect too.

Aw, don't say things like that.
Really, you've got me all wrong.

It's just that I get bugged by
those little things.

Like, no connection.

But why would a person look in
the trunk of a car for a missing cuff link?

'Cause I happened to toss
my topcoat in there...

in order to
keep it from getting stolen.

Then I noticed that the link was missing.

Of course.

See, I could've guessed that.

A little while later I found the link
caught in the lining of my sleeve.

I'm gonna tell you somethin'.

Do you know that there is
a reasonable explanation for everything...

if you just put your mind to it?

Of course, sometimes these things,
they pop up.

Like with alibis.
Do you know in most cases,

people, they don't remember
what time it is.

They forget all that.
Like the artist fella.

He's all mixed up about the time.

And Mrs. Matthews, she don't even remember
what time she went to bed last night.

Well, being sober
might help, I suppose.

Now, with you, Mr. Kingston,
it's just the opposite. Very unusual.

With you, we know exactly
where you were and when.

Not only that,
we know your whole car was empty.

Yes. Isn't that nice?

Well, if you'll excuse me.

Mm. Oh, listen, by the way,
can I show you something?

It's only gonna take a second.

Uh, you can rent paintings,
did you know that?

Yes, I know.

And my father-in-law,
he loves Western movies,

so I figured, a few bucks,
you can't get hurt.

Uh, what do you think?

Any good?

For wallpaper in a child's room,
absolutely perfect.

In fact, it looks like it might've been
done by an untalented 12-year-old.

You know, I was kind of afraid
you were going to say something like that.

But you know, then I say,

why would you bother to go there
last night if this guy's stuff is so bad?

I mean, this was painted by the artist
whose exhibit you were covering.

Lieutenant Columbo, unlike my uncle,
I am not independently wealthy.

I have to work for a living.
Magazines pay me to review art.

Unfortunately, they pay me best...

when I write hostile reviews
about hacks like Sam Franklin.

Oh. Well, I'll tell ya,

I'd sure hate to see
his review when you write it.

- Mmm.
- Oh, listen. One more thing.

It just... It'll just take a second.
I stopped by your apartment a few times.

Why, do you want to search my place?

No. Just to ask you something
about art.

You said you had some books
and things there that I could see.

You may look at anything you wish.

You can snoop in all of my closets.
You can peek under the beds.

You won't find any stolen paintings.

Oh, really, I've never said
anything about...

Here. Would you like the key
to my apartment?

You may simply leave it under the mat
when you leave.

- No, really. I...
- No, no. Go ahead. I insist.

See what I live like.
Find out what kind of human being I am.

Learn everything you can about me.

Well, I... I mean, I admit
it would be more convenient.

But, uh, thank you
very much, Mr. Kingston.

Uh, I'm sorry I took up
so much of your time.

I might drop by and borrow a few books
or something like that.

See ya.

Dale!

You all right?

Yeah. I'm sorry I called you.

Well, I just couldn't wait.
I had to know what was happening.

Nothing's happening. No problems at all.
Everything's just perfect.

Now, the gun and the paintings,

they're still in your car, right?

Oh, yeah. I did exactly what you told me.
I haven't touched a thing.

Good. You'll feel a lot better
once you get those off your hands.

Hold that open for me.

- Dale!
- What's the matter?

Well-Well, I never saw them before.
They're beautiful.

Now why can't I paint like that?

Patience, my dear. Patience.

I told you you had talent
when you first came to see me, remember?

Takes time to get
what you really want.

Sometimes I think my talent
isn't what you like best about me.

Well, it's a combination
of things, Myla.

Dale, you do
care for me, don't you?

After the risks
you've taken for me?

Of course I do.

Now let's get out of here.

Is there anything else
you want me to do?

Not a thing.
I'll be in touch with you by phone.

When will I see you again?

Very shortly, my love.

When will I...

Columbo.

Mr. Kingston.

What are you doing here
at this hour of the night?

Is it night?

Yes, it is.

Gee, I...
I must've fallen asleep here.

I came in to read these book...
Did you get your key?

I left a key under the mat.
Oh, good. You got it.

Gee. Yes, I...

I was readin' these articles.
I must've fallen...

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry.
I just fell asleep here.

Look, it's quite late, Lieutenant.
If you don't mind,

I've just had a tiresome evening
at a lecture,

after which I spent some time with some
even more tiresome people from the museum.

- So if you'll excuse me.
- Oh, of course.

I'll get out of your hair.
I'm-I'm awfully sorry about this.

Did you pick up something interesting?

Uh, no, just some, um,

insipid watercolors that
these people want me to evaluate.

- Watercolors?
- Yes.

I was just looking at watercolors.
Matisse? Wonderful.

I'd love to hear
what you had to say about him.

- Could we take just a moment...
- No... Lieutenant, please!

- If you don't mind, I...
- Oh.

It's quite late. I'm-I'm quite exhausted.
Some other time, please.

Oh, I'm sorry. Of course.
I should've realized.

- I just got so caught up in this art thing...
- My phone. My phone, Lieutenant.

- Your phone?
- My phone.

It, uh, just might be
people about the ransom.

Oh. By all means.

Hello? Yes.

Yes, he is. Just a moment.
It's for you.

I told 'em at the office
that I might stop by.

- Thank you very much.
- It's all right.

Yeah? What?

Well, where was it?

Yes, I understand,
but why are you calling me for?

Oh. Okay, I'll be right down.

Mmm.

Listen, I'm sorry. I gotta run.

Gee, it's always somethin'.

This highway patrolman,
he found a girl in a car.

Ran over a cliff to Malibu Canyon.

Dead.

- You get all sorts of cases, don't you?
- Yeah, listen.

They won't let me live.
What are you gonna do?

Uh, I'm sorry.
I-I didn't mean to fall asleep here.

- I hope I didn't bother you too much.
- It's all right.

Get some rest.

Mrs. Matthews?

- Oh, Lieutenant Columbo!
- How are ya?

I'm fine.

Good. Listen,

Mr. Kingston and the attorney
said it was all right if I dropped by.

- I hope you don't mind.
- Oh, no! Of course not.

The more, the merrier. But it...

it does seem such a shame
to hear poor Rudy this way.

All those "whereases."
It won't sound like him at all.

You know, lawyers
always have a way of makin'...

It's like an old movie...

with all the barristers and the butlers
and the discarded wives...

all gathering together
in the library to hear the will read.

Oh! Perhaps we'd better go.

It's never bothered me
till just about two months ago.

Really? You know, I have a friend...

He wasn't always
a very nice man, you know.

Just business, business, business.

And then collecting. Oh!

Collecting like some old pack rat.

But how anyone
could want to kill Rudy, I...

- Oh, hello, Dale.
- Edna, darling.

- Hello, Lieutenant.
- Mr. Kingston.

What have you got there this time,
a pink rabbit?

Oh, this? No, no, not really. But it is
something that I wanted to show you.

- Oh, show me too.
- Edna, my dear.

- Frank.
- Dale.

And Lt. Columbo. We can begin now.

Mr. Evans and his wife are here already.

But Lieutenant was just going
to show us...

Never mind. He'll show me.

We'll join you in a little while.
Thank you, Frank.

I hope you're feeling better, Edna.

What do you think?

It's frightful.

That's what I figured.
But you know what?

I thought maybe you just might
recognize the style or the signature.

No. Who on earth is Tracy?

Well, do you remember the other night
when I had to leave your place in a hurry?

Oh, yes, that highway patrol thing.
Some kind of an accident, wasn't it?

That's what it looked like.
But you see, I told...

I said whenever a case comes up that has
anything to do with art or painting,

you call me.

Now, wait a minute.
You mean it wasn't an accident?

Oh, yeah, it's an accident.
I mean, that's what it's listed as.

But, anyway, you see, the dead girl,
she was some kind of an art student.

And I thought, well, who knows,
maybe you knew something about her.

Tracy O'Connor?

Lieutenant, there must be over 100,000
art students in Southern California.

Well, you see,

I remember seein' one of those
lecture schedules in your apartment.

And a couple of months ago,

you gave several lectures
in the school where this girl was enrolled.

- This is what she looks like.
- Be realistic, Lieutenant.

You think I can remember everyone who
ever sat in on one of my lectures?

I've never seen that girl before
in my life.

Why don't you stop wasting
everybody's time?

These are all minor details.

- Sit down, Dale, won't you?
- Thank you, Frank.

"For their devoted service to me...
for the past 10 y..."

Uh, Lieutenant, why don't you
make yourself comfortable.

We've uh, skimmed over the preliminaries.
We're now down to the salient points.

- Proceed as you wish, Counselor.
- Mmm.

"For their devoted service to me
for the past 10 years,

I bequeath to Mr. and Mrs. Evans jointly...

an annual payment of $2,000...

to be paid on the first day
of each and every year...

in which either one of them
is still surviving."

Such a kind man.

"Finally, to, uh...

to my primary heir of all previous wills,
to my nephew Dale Kingston,

whom I once supported through college
and who has had the full freedom...

of my home and possessions
ever since without thought of recompense,

I bequeath the full bulk and remainder
of my estate...

with this one single exception:

To Edna Matthews, the wife whom I mistakenly
divorced 15 years ago,

I bequeath
my entire art collection,

including all of those paintings listed
in the so-called Matthews Collection."

- Mr. Kingston! Oh, no!
- If you please.

This will is properly signed and
witnessed as of the 10th of last month.

Here. I think you all
should take a look at these.

Dale, I'm sorry.
I-I'm really sorry.

Oh, no.
Don't be silly, Aunt Edna.

All it means is that I'll now
be able to criticize...

your collection
like I used to criticize his.

- Thank you, Frank.
- Mm-hmm.

Lieutenant.

Mrs. Matthews, I hope...
This is just such a surprise.

We are... I'm happy for you.

I know you'll be pleased with it.
I'm sure you will.

- I wasn't prepared for that.
- Nope. Really is a shock.

File those, would you, please?
I tried to talk Rudy out of it, naturally.

He always intended to leave
that collection to Dale.

Then, give it to her.

That's why I thought
you'd like to be here.

- Legally, I couldn't say anything until...
- Oh, sure. I understand that.

It's just that that was a new will?
Only last month?

That's correct.
He wrote most of it himself.

Oh, he promised to let me
draw up something more detailed...

and complete later on, but...

Boy, I can't figure it. I...

You'd think the nephew
would get the paintings.

I agree. I agree.

Mr. Matthews had
disagreements with Dale,

but an art collection like that
is big business.

To manage that requires
specialized skill, taste.

Why he'd simply leave the whole thing
to a poor, unstable creature like Ed...

Those comments are hardly
professional of me, are they?

One thing, though.

If Mr. Kingston doesn't get the collection,
he at least gets the rest of the estate.

It's meaningless.

He rented that big house.
Rudy disposed of all his business interests.

There really isn't any
remaining estate to speak of.

Well, listen, uh,
thanks for lettin' me come down.

- I gotta get back to work.
- Uh, Lieutenant?

- Your painting.
- Oh, thank you very much.

Uh, Lieutenant? My lighter.

Oh.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

Miss Henderson,
I'll make my calls now, please.

Looking for me, Lieutenant?

Oh. Yeah, I thought I'd kind of catch you
out in the parking lot.

Expect you'd find me there kicking my tires
in frustration, I suppose?

Well, I thought there'd be
the normal amount of disappointment.

You are so transparent, Columbo.

You had this thing all figured out
right from the start, haven't you?

Dale Kingston hired someone
to fake the theft and kill his uncle.

Maybe even some
poor little art student, perhaps.

Mr. Kingston, I never said that.

And even though I had
an airtight alibi by total accident,

at the time of my uncle's murder,
that still didn't stop you, did it?

Mr. Kingston, really, I...

Well, at this point,

I'm sure that even a compulsively
suspicious bureaucrat like you...

must have his doubts about my guilt.

Because you heard it up there,
Mr. Columbo.

You heard it in plain English.
I do not inherit.

- Edna does.
- That's very true, Mr. Kingston.

- That's very true, except...
- Except what?

Well, maybe you didn't know that
your uncle changed his will.

Oh, I was hoping you'd say that,

because, you see,
I've known for more than 10 days...

that I couldn't possibly inherit
any part of that collection.

But since you won't believe me,
maybe you'll believe my uncle.

Go on. I'm sure
somebody in your department...

is capable of verifying
that signature.

Go on, read it.

He sent me that letter 10 days ago
telling me about the new will.

Look at the postmark.

- So you did know?
- Of course I knew.

Now, would you please do me a favor
and stop pestering me...

and go on out and do what you
should've done in the first place, huh?

Find the real killer!

- Lieutenant, I'm not a busybody.
- I never said that.

Yeah, well,

some landlords like to pry into the lives
of their tenants, but not me.

My policy is live and let live.

Come on. What's bothering Walter?
He won't eat?

Well, maybe he's not hungry.

Listen, it's not that you're a busybody.
You live here and you see things.

I mean, how can you live here
and not see things?

Such as?

Well, who goes out with who
and who's doing what. All those things.

This girl, Tracy O'Connor,
who did she go out with?

Come on. Tell me.
She dated, didn't she?

Oh, of course she dated.

Oh, you know, that was
a terrible shame about that accident.

- That was a very talented girl.
- Very.

Well, you oughta know. You took one of
her paintings the last time you were here.

- She was a very gifted girl.
- You're darn right.

- And it was a shame about the accident.
- Right.

You know why I hated
to give up the painting?

Well, why did you give it up?

- I had to.
- What for?

- Well, that was evidence.
- Evidence for what?

Listen, I don't wanna get into that.
That's too complicated. Walter, come here.

Come here, boy.
Don't-Don't-Don't-Don't do that!

Walter doesn't like strangers.
He'll bite.

- Will he? Oh.
- It was an accident, wasn't it?

Listen, are you gonna tell me
about the men in her life or not?

All right, the men. Now, remember,

I wasn't particularly trying
to find out about her,

but I do remember one or two.

There was an actor fella.
There were a couple of those beach types.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- And there was a kid that played...

- You want me to tell you the truth?
- Yeah.

- I'm interested in one guy in particular.
- Who?

Forty years old, well dressed,
distinguished.

Wait a minute. Now, wait a minute.

Come to think of it, there was one
older gentleman she was seeing.

Really? Can you describe him?

Would a picture help?

A picture? Are ya kidding?
You have a picture of this fella?

Yeah, it's around here someplace
if I haven't thrown it away.

It's probably in my album.

Where did you get a photograph of him?

Well, I was taking some snapshots of my nephew
out at the pool.

And Tracy and her friend were out there,
so I took one of them too.

- I'm sure it's in one of these.
- You're a lifesaver.

Well, let's see.

Oh! Here was one. That's when my cousins
were out here from Milwaukee.

We stopped at one of those roadside
stands, you know, for date malts.

Oh, I got so sick, but they're awful good.
Have you ever had one?

Think you'd like 'em.

Oh, there's Cindy Lou.
That's my cousin's kid.

She's named for me. Look at her.
That's at Grauman's Chinese.

She's trying to fit her feet into the...
you know, the things in the concrete.

That's awful cute.
I made her that dress.

- Doesn't that look nice?
- Um...

- Can you see...
- Well, let's see, now.

Oh! Here's a whole bunch of us that went
out to the family plot and had a picnic.

We did some weeding and planting.
We had the best time.

We had more laughs... Look, isn't that cute?
That's my Uncle Henry there.

- Oh.
- Now, wait a minute. We must...

That's a nice one too. Look at that.
That was taken at the zoo.

- Isn't that a good one of a lion?
- Wonderful. Do you have any idea...

Now, wait a minute.

Oh-oh, here it is. Here you go.
There. Well, there he is.

That's the one. Any help?

No kidding?

- That's not him.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

You guys still guarding this place?

Just me. I keep the tourists away.

Say, uh, you know anything
about aphids?

- Aphids?
- Yeah, they're destroying my roses.

My wife doesn't want me
to use any pesticides.

Hard spray from your garden hose
around 4:00 or 5:00 p.m.

Uh, the sun's still hot enough
to dry,

and it won't burn your flowers.

Just water, huh?

- Thanks. I'll try it.
- Okay.

Hey! Come here!

Look at this!

Your ex-husband lived
right up there, didn't he?

Uh, y-yes, right up there on the hill,

brooding down on me like Zeus.

When we were married,
I always used to like this house.

As soon as we got divorced,
I moved in.

But for years, Rudy and I couldn't
have been farther away from each other...

if I'd bought a house on the Moon.

- Are you sure you wouldn't like a drink?
- Oh, no.

Thank you very much.
Are they real?

- Yes.
- May I?

- Oh, of course. Help yourself.
- Thank you.

So, uh, what changed all that?

I mean, how did you and Rudy
get to seeing one another again?

Well, we just bumped into each other
a couple of months ago.

And, well, we were older...

and he wasn't quite so stuffy anymore.

And maybe I don't throw things...

like parties and handsome Italians
quite so much.

Ma'am, I know you're in a hurry.
You wanna go shopping.

But I wondered first
if we could talk about...

But you want to know
about that will thing.

Of course. I-I don't blame you.

Uh, but don't misunderstand.

Rudy and I weren't starting...

to sing September songs
or anything like that.

But...

Well, you see, years ago...

I used to think I was artistic,

and I literally dragged him
into his first museum.

And that's how
his whole collection all began.

Because naturally, Rudy started
sensing a good investment area.

And some of the paintings
I liked weren't too bad.

But it was my understanding that...

it was his nephew
who picked out all his paintings.

Oh, yes, later on.

But Dale was just in college then.

Uh, that was just about the time when...

when I started misbehaving.

And then, of course, after our divorce,

the collection became an obsession
with Rudy...

and a whole career for Dale.

So since you were in at the beginning,

Mr. Matthews last month decided
to leave the whole collection to you?

But he didn't want me to keep them.

- You don't think that, do you?
- Well...

Oh, dear.
I guess nobody's going to understand.

No. You see,

poor Rudy was finally tired of it,
that's all...

all the greedy buying
and bidding and hoarding.

He finally...
He finally agreed with me...

that the people should own those lovely
things instead of just collectors.

He decided to give them all away...

to schools, museums.

Oh! But, oh, dear,

it takes so much time to work that out...

to decide which places get which.

And in the meantime, he didn't want Dale
Kingston to get his hands on it. Is that it?

I don't like to say that.

I was just so happy that
Rudy was finally turning human.

Who on Earth...

Hello, Aunt Edna. May I come in?
How are you, dear?

I didn't think you'd even remember
where I lived.

Of course I do.
Got a message from a Lt. Col...

Oh, there you are.
What's this all about?

- Is it about the gun?
- What?

Wait a minute.
What gun? What is all this?

Well, I thought you'd be interested.
About a half hour ago,

a gardener up on that hill there,

he found a.38 revolver,

and it's the same kind as the one
that was missing from your uncle's desk.

Uh, may I use your phone?

Oh, yes, of course.

Isn't that silly?
Right up above my house.

I-I've walked on that hill myself.

Ballistics.

Is this Charlie?
Lt. Columbo.

Charlie, I sent that stuff over there
over a half hour ago...

Oh. Thank you.

It's the murder gun, all right.

Oh, there's nothing to be upset about.

But I was just telling Dale,

I-I go up there myself
when I want a breath of air.

I even walked over to see Rudy
just the night before he was killed.

Aunt Edna, I don't think
you oughta say another word.

- The lieutenant may get the wrong idea.
- What?

Oh, but-but surely
no one would think that I...

Threw that gun there?

Oh, no, Mrs. Matthews.
No, no, no, no, no.

No, you see,
I finally figured out what happened.

Whoever was in that house that night, they
ran out the back. They just kept on going.

Well, naturally, they were anxious
to get rid of your ex-husband's gun.

It could've been anybody.

- It could?
- Yes. Absolutely, it could.

You have nothing to worry about.
Now, did you wanna go shopping?

Well, I was planning to meet
some friends at the fashion center,

but I can do that some other time.

No, I want you to go right ahead,

and I want you
to forget about all this.

Just do what my wife does,
'cause when she hits a department store,

she can forget anything, even the fact that
I'm sittin' outside waiting.

- Have a good time, Edna.
- Bye.

What are you trying to do to her?

I'm sorry, I don't follow.

Well, you know perfectly well...

that it was a woman that ran out
of that place that night.

- You said so yourself.
- Yeah, sure, but not her.

Oh, I hope
you really mean that, Lieutenant...

that you're not just playing
some kind of a game with her.

- A game?
- Yes. You know what I mean.

Lulling her into a sense of false security.
Edna's a very vulnerable woman.

Mr. Kingston, you've got me all wrong, really.
I wouldn't think of a thing like that.

- That lady wouldn't hurt a fly.
- Lieutenant?

Can you come around here for a minute?

You told me not to bother you
until she'd gone.

- What is it?
- Well, we found something else.

She's got some trash cans back here.

"Rudy Matthews, 417 Pine View."

Looks like that piece of wrapping paper...

that was torn from the rest of it
in his house. Remember?

We figured the thief used it.

All right, you'd better get that down...

for fingerprinting and comparison
with the other paper.

Is there anything else?

No, we've covered
every inch of the grounds.

Be careful with that.

- Now what?
- I don't know.

I know what you're thinking, Lieutenant.

The gun,
and now this new evidence.

- Looks pretty bad for her.
- Yes, it does. Yes.

I'm still convinced that Edna
had absolutely nothing to do with this.

You know, I think I agree with ya.

Look at it this way.
If she's really guilty,

she's not gonna put that paper
in a garbage can, is she?

I mean, she's probably gonna
burn it in the fireplace or somethin'.

Yes, exactly.
That's the point.

And you know something else, Mr. Kingston?
You're absolutely right about her.

She's a...
What did you call it before?

- Vulnerable.
- Vulnerable, yes. She's a vulnerable woman.

And I'm afraid that if I press her too hard,
she'll fall apart.

Oh, yes.

And I sure don't wanna make
the same mistake that I made with you.

No, sir.
What I'm gonna do is this.

I'm gonna sit on everything
until those stolen paintings show up.

I see.

I mean, that's the best way
to handle it, don't you think?

Yes, yes, of course.

I mean, I don't wanna go around
pointing my finger at anyone...

until I have an airtight case.

- Right?
- Right.

Uh, Lieutenant,

your man said that you'd, uh...

you'd covered every...
every inch of the place here.

Did that include the inside of the house?

Well, she gave us permission,
but I don't wanna bother.

Well, don't you think you should?
I mean, for her protection.

And when you fail to find the paintings,
you can cross her name off the list entirely.

Well, it hardly seems worth the trouble.

Neither of us thinks she's guilty.
Why bother?

Well, for her sake so she can be certain.
Search the house, Lieutenant.

No, really,
I think it's a waste of time.

But if anything new comes up,
I'll let you know.

Edna? She's utterly harmless.

Exactly.
That's why we've got to help her.

But is there really
any danger of her arrest?

You told me yourself
the lieutenant doesn't think she's guilty.

That's today, Frank.
Who knows what he'll think tomorrow?

In case you haven't noticed,
he is a very haphazard individual.

Hmm. And if he doesn't
break the case soon?

Exactly.
He starts looking for a scapegoat...

because the pressure's
building up on him,

and Edna's the most
obvious candidate.

Well, what should we do?

Protect her.

I'm sure Rudy would've wanted
both of us to look out for her interests.

She trusts you, Frank.

Get her in here. Talk to her like a
Dutch uncle. Fill her in on the situation.

You're sure we should
allow her house to be searched?

Absolutely. In fact, I think you ought
to recommend that we insist on it.

And that way, we get it on the record that
nothing has been found to incriminate her.

All right. Miss Henderson,
get me Mrs. Matthews.

Oh, uh, she's shopping
at the fashion center in Beverly Hills.

You could bring her in here right now
and clarify this whole thing.

Miss Henderson, have her paged
at the fashion center.

We'll clear it up today.

Well, there may be
one small hitch to that.

Unfortunately, Lt. Columbo
refuses to search the house.

- He claims it to be a waste of time.
- Oh?

Which merely perpetuates
Edna's anxiety.

I really wish there was something
we could do about that man, Frank.

Well, perhaps there's, um,
some way around him.

You really think so?

I have a few friends at city hall.
Let me look into it.

Fine. Thank you.

I'll just run one little errand,
and I'll be right back.

Fine. Fine.
Uh, Miss Henderson,

after I talk to Mrs. Matthews,
I want the police department.

Dale?

Edna does have an excellent motive.

You, uh... You don't think
there's any chance...

Of course not.

You oughta be ashamed of yourself, Frank.

Yeah. Sorry.

I just don't understand any of this.

It's just a precautionary measure,
Aunt Edna, nothing more.

But what do you want them
to search my house for?

- What will they find?
- Absolutely nothing. That's just the point.

Now, come on.

- Frank.
- Mm-hmm.

Where, uh...
Where do you want me to put these?

Oh, uh, in there.

Anywhere.
Oh, I need a drink.

Of course you do, darling.
So do I. Let me fix it for you.

Here are your keys.

- Still scotch?
- Yes.

- How about you, Frank? A drink?
- Yes, on the rocks, please.

I'm sorry we have to put you through this now.
But believe me,

it'll all be over soon, huh?

Why would anyone think that
I'd want to kill Rudy?

Nobody does.

We just wanna make sure
that it stays that way, that's all.

That's why Frank is having the police
come in and search the house.

Believe me, it's all for the best.

Dale, I don't even remember
what happened...

the night Rudy was killed.

I get so nervous,
I-I take sleeping pills sometimes.

- That's one thing you should...
- Oh!

Oh! Excuse me.

Let me just dry off.
I'll be right back.

Oh, isn't that a shame?

Uh, Frank...

Frank, must we go through this?

Edna, you will be
so much better off...

Come on. Come on.

Nothing to be nervous about now.

Go ahead.

Miss Matthews?
Captain Wyler, police department.

Yes. Please, come in.

Thank you.

Sorry. You can't go in there.

I'm a lieutenant, so, do you mind?

It's okay, Ferguson. Let him in.

- Hi, Captain.
- Columbo.

- Uh... Oh, hi, Mr. Kingston.
- Hello, Lieutenant.

Listen, I just heard about this.

Word came down from above
to have the place searched.

Is that so?

Yeah. And I can't understand why.

The fact is, I was kind of bypassed
when I came over here.

Well, apparently you're
just not needed here then, Lieutenant.

Why don't you just go home
and have your dinner?

Oh, no, I'd better hang around,
because, you know,

if I leave now,
it looks bad upstairs, you know.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Matthews.
Mr. Simpson.

Gee, I hope this is not
upsetting you too much.

Well, I'm not very happy
about my house being torn apart.

But they advised me to do it.

- They?
- Who is "they"?

Mr. Kingston and I
thought it was necessary, Lieutenant.

Oh, I see. Oh.

It's really very confusing.

You said you didn't suspect me
of anything, didn't you?

Yes, I did, ma'am, and I meant that.

- And, actually, I was opposed to...
- Captain Wyler.

Clear this table.

Where'd you find those?

Linen closet in the hallway.

Edna, how could you?

Dale, believe me,

I have no idea how they got there!

- You'd better not say another word.
- But...

Edna, he's right.

Do you intend
to charge her formally, Captain?

It's up to Lt. Columbo.
It's his case.

What do you mean it's his case?
I thought it was...

We know what you thought,
Mr. Kingston.

Lieutenant?

Well, I think we can
get started with the fingerprinting.

Let's get the kit.

Careful, there.
Be very careful.

Gee, they're something, aren't they?

Pastels, you know.

May I ask
what this is all about, Lieutenant?

- Both of 'em.
- Lieutenant?

Oh, Mr. Kingston.

Uh, yes, just give us a moment, please.
Do you mind?

- We're getting a few.
- Good.

I'd like an answer, if you don't mind.

Uh, well, I'd have to start
with your uncle's will.

What about it?

Well, you see, he pulled a rug
out from under you...

when he left his collection
to Mrs. Matthews.

So you only had
one thing that you could do...

murder him and blame it on her.

I hope you realize the full import
of what you're saying, Lieutenant.

There are witnesses here.

You see, under the law, anyone who criminally
causes the death of someone else...

can't inherit from that person.

- Is that right, Mr. Simpson?
- That's correct.

So if Mrs. Matthews is convicted,
you're next in line.

Everything goes to you.
That's why you planted the gun,

and that's why
you planted the wrapping paper,

and that's why
you planted these paintings.

Dale! I can't believe it!

But you'd like to, wouldn't you?
Get you right off the hook.

All right, Lieutenant.

You claimed that I planted these paintings?
Suppose you prove it.

- Can we?
- Yeah.

Yeah... with fingerprints.

Sorry to disappoint you, Lieutenant.
Fingerprints won't help you at all.

My fingerprints are all over
those paintings.

My uncle and I unwrapped them
when they came back from the exhibit.

I told you, didn't I? I told you myself.
They're covered with my prints.

No, we're not looking for your prints.

What?

Do you remember the time
that I was in your apartment,

and you came in with some paintings?

And you said that they were watercolors,
and you wanted to evaluate 'em.

And remember I wanted to see 'em, and
you wouldn't let me? And I even touched 'em.

You touched...

Yes, my fingerprints
are on those paintings.

Now, if Mrs. Matthews is guilty,

how could my fingerprints
get on paintings that she stole?

Uh, this is entrapment.

It's a setup, that's all.

You-You-You-You touched those paintings
just now while I wasn't looking.

You saw him do it, didn't you?
You put your prints on those paintings...

while you were bent over watching them
while they were working on it!

He touched them!
You touched... You...