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They're creepy and they're kooky
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Mysterious and spooky
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00:00:22,311 --> 00:00:24,108
They're altogether ooky
5
00:00:24,271 --> 00:00:26,148
The Addams family
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The house is a museum
7
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When people come to see 'em
8
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They really are a scream
9
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The Addams family
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Neat.
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Sweet.
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Petite.
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00:00:42,289 --> 00:00:44,041
So get a witch's shawl on
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A broomstick you can crawl on
15
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We're gonna pay a call on
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The Addams family
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Tish! That sets my Spanish blood aflame.
18
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Bubele, please.
19
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Bubele.
That sets the rest of my blood aflame.
20
00:01:21,078 --> 00:01:23,638
One, two, fat go away.
21
00:01:23,831 --> 00:01:25,981
Three, four, muscles stay.
22
00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:28,146
Pugsley, darling, what are you doing?
23
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Exercising. She called me fatso.
24
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She?
25
00:01:32,131 --> 00:01:33,405
My girl, Marie.
26
00:01:33,549 --> 00:01:35,699
She said she wasn't going to go
with me anymore
27
00:01:35,885 --> 00:01:37,204
unless I got some muscles.
28
00:01:37,387 --> 00:01:39,662
Muscles? Oh, how vulgar.
29
00:01:39,847 --> 00:01:41,883
Morticia, Gomez.
30
00:01:42,809 --> 00:01:44,481
Hey, Morticia, Gomez.
31
00:01:44,936 --> 00:01:47,814
What do you know, I just got a letter
from my French pen pal, Yvette.
32
00:01:48,022 --> 00:01:49,614
- And she says...
- Uncle Fester.
33
00:01:49,774 --> 00:01:51,844
Please, dear, not now. Later.
34
00:01:52,026 --> 00:01:53,141
We have a little problem.
35
00:01:53,278 --> 00:01:54,950
We caught the boy exercising.
36
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:56,793
Well, what's wrong with that?
37
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,029
Girls like guys with V-figures.
38
00:02:00,410 --> 00:02:02,719
The only trouble is, mine's upside-down.
39
00:02:04,706 --> 00:02:06,059
Now, Pugsley, dear,
40
00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:08,972
a man's charm comes from inner strength.
41
00:02:09,419 --> 00:02:10,977
Not from outer bulges.
42
00:02:11,796 --> 00:02:12,990
Look at your father,
43
00:02:13,632 --> 00:02:15,543
did you ever see a better example
44
00:02:15,717 --> 00:02:17,150
of inner strength?
45
00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:19,699
And the whole thing
without a single push-up,
46
00:02:20,055 --> 00:02:22,125
pull-up, sit-up, sweat-up.
47
00:02:22,641 --> 00:02:23,756
The entire thing accomplished
48
00:02:23,892 --> 00:02:26,645
through the sheer glory of Zen-Yogi.
49
00:02:30,941 --> 00:02:33,409
Zen-Yogi has made your father
what he is today.
50
00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:36,875
That plus the sheer beauty of his soul.
51
00:02:39,616 --> 00:02:41,254
Darling.
52
00:02:41,493 --> 00:02:44,053
Let's have no more talk
of biceps and triceps.
53
00:02:44,871 --> 00:02:46,702
If you want to be a really attractive man,
54
00:02:47,082 --> 00:02:48,276
do as your father does.
55
00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:50,347
Okay, Mother, I'll try.
56
00:02:50,669 --> 00:02:51,943
Darling.
57
00:02:54,172 --> 00:02:55,651
Oh, just look at him.
58
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,528
Gaining inner strength.
59
00:02:58,010 --> 00:03:00,001
Inner strength and a flat head.
60
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:02,825
Fester, don't knock anything
61
00:03:02,973 --> 00:03:04,167
until you've really tried it.
62
00:03:04,308 --> 00:03:05,343
How true, darling.
63
00:03:06,685 --> 00:03:09,040
Now, Uncle Fester,
your letter from Yvette.
64
00:03:09,521 --> 00:03:10,954
Oh, forget it.
65
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:38,854
Gomez, darling, did you hear something?
66
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,659
Just a thump.
67
00:03:44,056 --> 00:03:46,047
Seems to be coming from Fester's room.
68
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:47,916
I wonder what he's up to.
69
00:03:48,352 --> 00:03:49,785
He'll be coming through the ceiling
in a minute,
70
00:03:49,937 --> 00:03:51,131
we can ask him.
71
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,864
I have a better idea.
72
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,612
You rang?
73
00:03:58,237 --> 00:03:59,386
Yes, Lurch.
74
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,600
Would you go upstairs
and check on Uncle Fester?
75
00:04:02,366 --> 00:04:04,800
There seems to be
a lot of thumping going on up there.
76
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,958
Yes, Mrs. Addams.
77
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,359
You thumped.
78
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,238
Oh, Lurch.
79
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:20,441
I'm in terrible shape.
80
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,395
So I see.
81
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,877
Remember my French pen pal, Yvette?
82
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,523
Folies-Bergere.
83
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,495
She's coming here to visit me.
84
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,332
You can say that again.
85
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,523
She thinks that I'm 6'3"
86
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,768
and built like Cary Grant.
87
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,039
Well, it's not that bad.
88
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,275
I've got a couple of days to get in shape.
89
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,162
But Zen-Yogi isn't gonna do it.
90
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,445
Corset?
91
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,466
Corset! 'Course not.
92
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:00,955
No.
93
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,215
I'm gonna go on a crash program
94
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,149
of diet and exercise,
95
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,367
but secret.
96
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,075
- Secret?
- Yeah.
97
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:13,597
You know how Gomez and Morticia
feel about exercise.
98
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:14,844
They think it's silly.
99
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,162
I'll have to do it early in the morning.
100
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:22,110
Hey, I'll do it with that guy on TV,
101
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:23,721
Jack La Lanne.
102
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:24,854
The muscle man.
103
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,085
He's on at 6:50 in the morning.
104
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,840
What are you moaning about?
105
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,797
I'm the one that's gotta get up
106
00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:37,190
and do it!
107
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,571
One, two, three, four.
108
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,394
One, two, three, four.
109
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:45,148
Come on, ladies, hit it.One, two, three, four. One...
110
00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:46,460
Tummies in.
111
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,781
Shoulders back, squat.
112
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,014
Hit it. One, two, three, four.
113
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:55,383
One, two, three, four. Come on, one, two,
114
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:57,039
- three, four...
- What is he doing?
115
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,761
He's either dancing to The Late Late Show
116
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,093
or exercising to The Early Early Show.
117
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,434
One, two, three, four.
118
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:07,397
Hi.
119
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,259
Isn't that Jack La Lanne,
120
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,810
the physical culture fellow?
121
00:06:10,955 --> 00:06:12,673
Never heard of him.
122
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:16,286
Gomez.
123
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,304
That television set goes back
to the junk man.
124
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,192
Good thinking.
125
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:40,556
Hey.
126
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,847
I can't get you on TV anymore,
127
00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:46,544
so I decided on a personal approach.
128
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,302
I need help.
129
00:06:50,119 --> 00:06:52,679
You know, you said it was an emergency
and it certainly is.
130
00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:55,397
You know, I've seen
people let themselves go.
131
00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:57,024
But you're almost gone.
132
00:06:58,711 --> 00:06:59,905
Touch�!
133
00:07:04,092 --> 00:07:05,241
Morticia.
134
00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:10,287
Isn't that that television fellow
with Uncle Fester?
135
00:07:11,057 --> 00:07:12,376
I do believe it is.
136
00:07:12,517 --> 00:07:15,873
That's odd having him here.
Fester's up to something.
137
00:07:16,104 --> 00:07:19,494
Darling, have you ever known Uncle Fester
to be sneaky and underhanded?
138
00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,423
Only when he was
up to something shady.
139
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,718
Say, what do you generally eat?
140
00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:26,959
Oh, the usual thing.
141
00:07:27,532 --> 00:07:28,760
Eye of newt.
142
00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:30,561
Pur�e of aardvark.
143
00:07:30,702 --> 00:07:31,976
Roast yak.
144
00:07:33,246 --> 00:07:34,998
You know, they say we're what we eat.
145
00:07:36,374 --> 00:07:37,887
And, mister, you really are.
146
00:07:39,336 --> 00:07:41,327
Look, it's all in this booklet.
147
00:07:41,713 --> 00:07:43,465
This is the astronaut's guide.
148
00:07:44,841 --> 00:07:47,401
And whatever it calls for in here
goes double for you.
149
00:07:48,762 --> 00:07:49,751
Roger.
150
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:52,444
Four, three, two, one. Blast off.
151
00:07:57,604 --> 00:08:00,676
Boy, this exercise makes you thirsty.
152
00:08:06,321 --> 00:08:08,596
Turn it off!
153
00:08:15,205 --> 00:08:16,843
Well, now.
154
00:08:21,545 --> 00:08:24,013
A little punching the bag.
155
00:08:31,221 --> 00:08:33,610
Well, I've stopped punching the bag.
156
00:08:33,807 --> 00:08:36,162
Now, what's the next exercise
in that astronaut book
157
00:08:36,351 --> 00:08:37,989
that La Lanne gave me?
158
00:08:38,145 --> 00:08:40,101
Deep knee-bends.
159
00:08:42,107 --> 00:08:43,335
Deep knee-bends.
160
00:08:43,734 --> 00:08:47,124
All right, you count.
We'll start with about 50.
161
00:08:48,238 --> 00:08:49,466
One.
162
00:08:50,741 --> 00:08:51,969
Down.
163
00:08:54,036 --> 00:08:55,264
More.
164
00:08:59,166 --> 00:09:01,157
I got down all right.
165
00:09:03,087 --> 00:09:04,839
You've got to get me up.
166
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:10,295
Oh, boy.
167
00:09:10,428 --> 00:09:12,384
Listen to those muscles expand.
168
00:09:16,475 --> 00:09:17,464
Well.
169
00:09:17,601 --> 00:09:20,274
That's enough deep knee-bends.
What's the next exercise?
170
00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:22,686
Chest pulley.
171
00:09:24,066 --> 00:09:25,385
That will be a snap.
172
00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:30,417
Thank you.
173
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,473
Must be stuck.
174
00:09:57,392 --> 00:09:59,622
Yeah. I think I got the hang of it now.
175
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:01,802
Sure.
176
00:10:08,278 --> 00:10:10,633
Well, don't just stand there, help me.
177
00:10:20,623 --> 00:10:21,942
Now I got the idea.
178
00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:23,357
Let me have it.
179
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,147
My, he was in a hurry.
180
00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:32,325
Lurch, we know we can count on you.
181
00:10:33,136 --> 00:10:34,489
What's troubling Fester?
182
00:10:37,515 --> 00:10:39,551
I think he's trying to tell us something.
183
00:10:40,477 --> 00:10:41,796
Is he in trouble?
184
00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:45,777
He's beginning to weaken.
185
00:10:46,399 --> 00:10:47,752
Is it a money matter?
186
00:10:49,152 --> 00:10:50,631
An emotional disturbance?
187
00:10:51,571 --> 00:10:52,560
A health problem?
188
00:10:54,366 --> 00:10:56,277
We're getting warm. A health problem.
189
00:10:57,786 --> 00:10:59,902
Darling, you're right. Uncle Fester's ill.
190
00:11:00,163 --> 00:11:01,755
Of course, that's it.
191
00:11:02,582 --> 00:11:04,379
It's written all over his face.
192
00:11:05,085 --> 00:11:06,962
Just had to keep probing.
193
00:11:07,379 --> 00:11:09,768
Thank you, Lurch.
Thank you for being so helpful.
194
00:11:16,388 --> 00:11:18,185
Uncle Fester, what are you doing?
195
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:19,914
Relaxing.
196
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,660
Fester, old boy. Your problem is solved.
197
00:11:23,228 --> 00:11:24,217
It is?
198
00:11:24,354 --> 00:11:26,470
Yes, we're going to have
a doctor here for you in an hour.
199
00:11:48,254 --> 00:11:50,643
- This is the Addams house?
- Yep.
200
00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:52,489
You're going in there?
201
00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:55,522
Good luck, Charlie.
202
00:12:10,526 --> 00:12:12,084
I'm Doctor Motley.
203
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,454
Follow me.
204
00:12:21,662 --> 00:12:23,653
Doctor Motley.
205
00:12:32,006 --> 00:12:33,724
Just a moment, Doctor,
where are you going?
206
00:12:34,467 --> 00:12:36,697
I am going to nail up a quarantine sign.
207
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:39,844
I can tell just by looking at you,
there's an epidemic in this house.
208
00:12:41,307 --> 00:12:44,344
Really, Doctor,
there's no need for hysterics.
209
00:12:44,644 --> 00:12:45,918
Only one of us is sick.
210
00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:49,107
- Which one?
- Uncle Fester, of course.
211
00:12:49,315 --> 00:12:50,634
Just hasn't been himself.
212
00:12:50,817 --> 00:12:52,091
Oh, I'm not sick.
213
00:12:52,235 --> 00:12:54,669
I just had
a complete physical examination.
214
00:12:55,989 --> 00:12:57,104
Blood pressure, perfect.
215
00:12:57,490 --> 00:12:58,479
Pulse, perfect.
216
00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:00,179
Reaction time, perfect.
217
00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:02,351
Liver, so-so.
218
00:13:02,829 --> 00:13:04,103
So-so?
219
00:13:04,456 --> 00:13:06,492
Well, you can't win them all.
220
00:13:06,958 --> 00:13:09,233
Who performed this examination?
221
00:13:09,669 --> 00:13:11,944
I did. It may not be perfect,
222
00:13:12,505 --> 00:13:13,779
but it saves a lot of time.
223
00:13:15,258 --> 00:13:16,771
Fester, where are you going?
224
00:13:16,927 --> 00:13:19,361
Up to my room to sharpen my scalpel.
225
00:13:19,554 --> 00:13:21,272
- Your scalpel?
- Yes.
226
00:13:21,431 --> 00:13:23,103
If my liver count keeps dropping,
227
00:13:23,308 --> 00:13:24,741
I may have to operate.
228
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,629
Uncle Fester.
229
00:13:26,978 --> 00:13:28,809
As long as Doctor Motley is here,
230
00:13:29,397 --> 00:13:30,796
how about an examination?
231
00:13:30,941 --> 00:13:31,930
Oh.
232
00:13:32,192 --> 00:13:33,750
Need the practice, hey, Doc?
233
00:13:34,569 --> 00:13:36,002
If it weren't for my Hippocratic oath,
234
00:13:36,154 --> 00:13:38,714
I'd turn in my satchel.
235
00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:55,029
You see anything, Doctor?
236
00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:58,696
Yes, I see a face with pince-nez glasses.
237
00:14:00,345 --> 00:14:01,539
Fester's head?
238
00:14:01,889 --> 00:14:03,163
Either in or...
239
00:14:04,766 --> 00:14:06,438
Let's try it from another angle.
240
00:14:10,606 --> 00:14:12,244
Do you still see that face, Doctor?
241
00:14:12,399 --> 00:14:14,515
No, now I see a moose's head.
242
00:14:15,694 --> 00:14:18,970
By george, Fester always did like
to keep an open mind.
243
00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:22,356
You know what I think?
244
00:14:22,993 --> 00:14:25,143
Don't tell me you think
he has holes in his head.
245
00:14:27,623 --> 00:14:29,500
I think you all have holes in your head.
246
00:14:31,418 --> 00:14:33,010
And that includes me.
247
00:14:35,923 --> 00:14:37,402
Poor fellow.
248
00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:40,303
Those long internships do take their toll.
249
00:14:48,769 --> 00:14:50,282
Poor Uncle Fester.
250
00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:54,150
How a man can go to pieces
right before your very eyes.
251
00:14:55,735 --> 00:14:57,885
Not only did he pass up lunch and dinner,
but look at him.
252
00:14:58,821 --> 00:15:00,379
Staring at the full moon
253
00:15:00,531 --> 00:15:02,362
and doing deep knee-bends.
254
00:15:03,451 --> 00:15:05,282
Oh, dear, he is sick.
255
00:15:05,745 --> 00:15:07,975
Usually when the moon is full,
he howls at it.
256
00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:11,360
Darling.
257
00:15:11,584 --> 00:15:13,381
You don't suppose
his problem could be mental.
258
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:14,909
Possible.
259
00:15:15,546 --> 00:15:17,423
Greater minds than his
have been known to crack.
260
00:15:18,758 --> 00:15:20,635
Remember Cousin Slump?
261
00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:22,398
Yes.
262
00:15:23,846 --> 00:15:26,519
One moment, a brilliant nuclear physicist.
263
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,660
The next, he was running
around Los Alamos
264
00:15:29,978 --> 00:15:32,333
in a three-cornered hat
and a powdered wig.
265
00:15:33,189 --> 00:15:34,224
Dear.
266
00:15:34,857 --> 00:15:36,813
Darling, perhaps I should call
a psychiatrist?
267
00:15:37,277 --> 00:15:40,030
Querida, after our experience
with Dr. Motley?
268
00:15:40,613 --> 00:15:41,807
You're right.
269
00:15:42,615 --> 00:15:44,253
I'll handle this myself.
270
00:15:45,285 --> 00:15:48,004
Do you remember how much I helped you
with your sleepwalking?
271
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,555
You mean to analyze him?
272
00:15:50,707 --> 00:15:52,698
We must reach his subconscious.
273
00:15:52,876 --> 00:15:54,707
Be lucky to reach his conscious.
274
00:15:54,919 --> 00:15:57,308
Darling, we have to try and help him.
275
00:15:57,505 --> 00:15:58,733
But how?
276
00:15:59,883 --> 00:16:01,282
There are ways.
277
00:16:03,219 --> 00:16:04,652
Now, Uncle Fester.
278
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:06,738
I want you to concentrate.
279
00:16:08,683 --> 00:16:10,002
Concentrate.
280
00:16:10,977 --> 00:16:12,251
Concentrate.
281
00:16:12,854 --> 00:16:15,004
Morticia, you're just wasting your time.
282
00:16:15,524 --> 00:16:17,435
The only one that can hypnotize me
283
00:16:17,818 --> 00:16:19,217
is me. Now, watch.
284
00:16:20,445 --> 00:16:21,594
Sleep.
285
00:16:24,241 --> 00:16:26,550
Certainly doesn't waste time
on preliminaries.
286
00:16:27,828 --> 00:16:30,706
Yes, but I think we ought to make sure
he's really out.
287
00:16:31,581 --> 00:16:32,980
Test his reflexes.
288
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,922
- Reflexes?
- Yeah. With a hammer, you know.
289
00:16:35,085 --> 00:16:36,120
Oh! Oh, of course.
290
00:16:44,094 --> 00:16:45,925
By george, he's really under.
291
00:16:46,471 --> 00:16:47,745
Now, Uncle Fester.
292
00:16:47,931 --> 00:16:49,762
I want you to listen very carefully.
293
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,299
First question.
294
00:16:53,103 --> 00:16:55,571
You've been up to something lately,
haven't you?
295
00:16:55,773 --> 00:16:56,762
Yes.
296
00:16:56,899 --> 00:16:59,208
- Would you care to tell us about it?
- No.
297
00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:01,612
Uncle Fester. Tell us.
298
00:17:01,779 --> 00:17:04,452
What's going through
your poor tortured mind
299
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:05,806
at this very moment?
300
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:08,987
Four, three, two, one.
301
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:10,602
Blast off!
302
00:17:12,289 --> 00:17:13,278
So that's it.
303
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,243
What's it?
304
00:17:15,376 --> 00:17:16,889
We know now
why Uncle Fester has been doing
305
00:17:17,044 --> 00:17:20,081
- all this ridiculous exercising and dieting.
- We do?
306
00:17:20,881 --> 00:17:23,190
Of course.
He wants to become an astronaut.
307
00:17:23,801 --> 00:17:26,156
That's wonderful,
the first Addams in space.
308
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,795
A proud moment, isn't it?
309
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:30,891
No, it isn't. We can't let him go.
310
00:17:31,058 --> 00:17:32,537
- Why not?
- He's DC.
311
00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:35,028
District of Columbia?
312
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,590
Direct current.
313
00:17:36,731 --> 00:17:38,483
Put DC Fester
314
00:17:38,649 --> 00:17:41,766
in the AC space capsule, and...
315
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,628
Nothing left of Fester
but a plump asteroid.
316
00:17:45,239 --> 00:17:46,672
How courageous.
317
00:17:46,824 --> 00:17:48,974
Willing to blow himself for science.
318
00:17:49,410 --> 00:17:50,525
A true Addams.
319
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,951
He'd set the space program back 20 years.
320
00:17:53,581 --> 00:17:55,458
We must save him from his brave folly.
321
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,343
- But first we better wake him up.
- Oh, yes.
322
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:01,979
Uncle Fester?
323
00:18:04,425 --> 00:18:05,540
Uncle Fester.
324
00:18:06,928 --> 00:18:08,520
Oh, what we do now?
325
00:18:12,642 --> 00:18:15,395
- You're gonna hit him with that?
- Most certainly not, dear.
326
00:18:24,654 --> 00:18:25,723
Oh, how horrible.
327
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,309
I dreamed I was swimming
the English Channel
328
00:18:28,491 --> 00:18:30,322
and halfway across I sank.
329
00:18:31,202 --> 00:18:32,840
No use trying to conceal it.
330
00:18:32,996 --> 00:18:34,509
I need more exercises.
331
00:18:37,876 --> 00:18:39,389
Hello, Houston?
332
00:18:39,544 --> 00:18:41,023
This is Morticia Addams
333
00:18:41,379 --> 00:18:44,928
and I'd like to speak
to the head of your astronaut program.
334
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:47,366
He's asleep?
335
00:18:47,552 --> 00:18:49,349
Well, wake him, wake him.
336
00:18:49,554 --> 00:18:51,192
This is a citizen calling.
337
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,316
If he could see you in all your loveliness,
338
00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:56,228
he'd pop out of bed in a minute.
339
00:18:57,771 --> 00:18:59,727
Hello? Hello, General.
340
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,664
This is Morticia Addams.
341
00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:03,822
Now, I don't mean to be critical,
342
00:19:04,236 --> 00:19:07,273
but I do think you're going a bit far
in drafting Uncle Fester
343
00:19:07,656 --> 00:19:09,647
for your next Gemini shot.
344
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:12,433
Well, not that he isn't
willing to go, of course.
345
00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:13,931
But we do feel...
346
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,444
Yes.
347
00:19:16,999 --> 00:19:19,638
Yes, I do know you have
a moon shot in the morning.
348
00:19:19,835 --> 00:19:21,553
But that's no reason to lure
349
00:19:21,962 --> 00:19:25,079
plump, happy earthlings
like Uncle Fester away.
350
00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:29,531
Now, now, now. General.
351
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:32,530
That kind of language will not solve
any problem.
352
00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:34,584
I...
353
00:19:35,476 --> 00:19:36,795
General?
354
00:19:38,979 --> 00:19:40,048
What did he say?
355
00:19:40,314 --> 00:19:41,793
I think the phone went dead.
356
00:19:44,068 --> 00:19:45,581
Morticia.
357
00:19:45,903 --> 00:19:47,416
Look.
358
00:19:50,866 --> 00:19:52,140
Good heavens!
359
00:19:52,493 --> 00:19:55,166
The General's language
must have burned up the phone wires.
360
00:20:09,718 --> 00:20:11,276
Things have come to a pretty pass
361
00:20:11,429 --> 00:20:14,865
when a man can't have any privacy
in his own steam cabinet.
362
00:20:15,141 --> 00:20:18,372
Uncle Fester, you can stop
this ridiculous exercising.
363
00:20:18,602 --> 00:20:20,797
You've been released
from the astronaut program.
364
00:20:21,731 --> 00:20:23,084
What astronaut program?
365
00:20:23,232 --> 00:20:24,506
Ours, of course.
366
00:20:24,984 --> 00:20:26,781
Unless you sold out to the Russians.
367
00:20:26,944 --> 00:20:28,900
Boy, are you off-base.
368
00:20:29,363 --> 00:20:31,274
I'm doing this for my pen pal, Yvette.
369
00:20:31,741 --> 00:20:33,572
Exercising for a pen pal?
370
00:20:33,743 --> 00:20:34,732
Sure.
371
00:20:34,994 --> 00:20:36,586
She's from the Folies-Bergere.
372
00:20:36,746 --> 00:20:38,577
And she's gonna come over here
and visit me.
373
00:20:38,748 --> 00:20:41,979
And when she gets here,
I'm gonna be real trim and sexy.
374
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,797
Miss Yvette.
375
00:20:47,006 --> 00:20:49,474
Already? Oh, she can't see me like this.
376
00:20:49,675 --> 00:20:50,710
Nonsense.
377
00:20:50,843 --> 00:20:53,232
Fester, old man, you have to go upstairs
and face the music.
378
00:20:53,429 --> 00:20:54,748
Oh, not with this body.
379
00:20:54,931 --> 00:20:56,762
Perhaps she'll love you for your soul.
380
00:20:57,058 --> 00:20:58,969
Well, that's even fatter.
381
00:20:59,269 --> 00:21:00,418
Come on.
382
00:21:06,401 --> 00:21:09,154
Lurch. Where's our visitor from overseas?
383
00:21:09,654 --> 00:21:11,804
In the conservatory.
384
00:21:12,031 --> 00:21:13,350
Oh, please show her in.
385
00:21:13,741 --> 00:21:15,413
Yes, Mrs. Addams.
386
00:21:16,911 --> 00:21:18,708
You know, Morticia, when she sees me,
387
00:21:18,913 --> 00:21:22,030
a great postal romance is going
right down the drain.
388
00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:24,278
Brace up, Uncle Fester.
389
00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:26,614
She'll love you for what you are.
390
00:21:26,796 --> 00:21:28,388
All of it.
391
00:21:33,803 --> 00:21:34,838
Yvette?
392
00:21:35,639 --> 00:21:37,948
Of course, ch�ri, and you must be Fester.
393
00:21:45,899 --> 00:21:47,457
What an interesting couple.
394
00:21:47,859 --> 00:21:49,736
They're almost an interesting quartet.
395
00:21:52,072 --> 00:21:54,461
But I thought you were
with the Folies-Bergere.
396
00:21:54,658 --> 00:21:56,489
I am, I take care of the costumes.
397
00:21:58,286 --> 00:22:00,595
Oh, no wonder she's putting on weight.
398
00:22:01,164 --> 00:22:03,632
If she takes care of the costumes
at the Folies-Bergere,
399
00:22:03,834 --> 00:22:05,347
she doesn't have much to do.
400
00:22:06,628 --> 00:22:09,540
In your letter to me,
you said to go on a diet.
401
00:22:09,756 --> 00:22:11,030
Of course, ch�ri.
402
00:22:11,258 --> 00:22:13,408
But to gain weight, not to lose it.
403
00:22:14,261 --> 00:22:16,172
You are nothing but skin and bones.
404
00:22:16,597 --> 00:22:18,394
Not my type at all.
405
00:22:20,434 --> 00:22:22,152
Yvette, you spoke French!
406
00:22:22,936 --> 00:22:24,051
Of course, ch�ri.
407
00:22:24,188 --> 00:22:26,986
What do you expect
from a French girl, Hungarian?
408
00:22:28,025 --> 00:22:29,344
That's an interesting point.
409
00:22:30,861 --> 00:22:32,499
Well, I must hurry, my cab is waiting.
410
00:22:32,946 --> 00:22:34,618
Keep writing, ch�ri.
411
00:22:38,494 --> 00:22:41,884
Well, if you can't believe
in the Folies-Bergere,
412
00:22:42,331 --> 00:22:43,730
what's left for a fella?
413
00:22:43,874 --> 00:22:45,273
Well, one good thing, Fester,
414
00:22:45,417 --> 00:22:48,932
now you can stop
all that ridiculous exercise and dieting.
415
00:22:49,547 --> 00:22:52,141
Take my advice.
Put your money on Zen-Yogi.
416
00:23:02,435 --> 00:23:04,232
Hey! I did it.
417
00:23:05,354 --> 00:23:07,345
Well, how handsome you both look.
418
00:23:08,316 --> 00:23:11,786
As Grandpa Squint Addams used to say
about Cousin Blob,
419
00:23:12,653 --> 00:23:14,689
two heads are better than one.
420
00:23:24,749 --> 00:23:26,819
That junk man, really a gem,
421
00:23:27,668 --> 00:23:29,818
offering me money to take the set back.
422
00:23:30,838 --> 00:23:32,112
I'm glad it's back.
423
00:23:32,465 --> 00:23:34,183
These moon shots are so exciting.
424
00:23:34,967 --> 00:23:35,956
Yes.
425
00:23:36,678 --> 00:23:38,555
They do stir up the old corpuscles.
426
00:23:41,516 --> 00:23:43,427
Darling, that missile.
427
00:23:44,102 --> 00:23:46,218
Why is its tail wagging?
428
00:23:49,691 --> 00:23:51,761
Oh, I hate to tell you this, querida,
429
00:23:51,943 --> 00:23:53,854
but you've tuned in on Rin Tin Tin.
430
00:23:59,451 --> 00:24:00,964
There. That's it.
431
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:03,678
Fester, is anything wrong?
432
00:24:03,830 --> 00:24:05,741
Need a little recharging, that's all.
433
00:24:05,915 --> 00:24:07,394
What's going on?
434
00:24:07,542 --> 00:24:08,975
You're just in time for the moon shot.
435
00:24:09,210 --> 00:24:10,962
Oh, that.
436
00:24:11,379 --> 00:24:13,051
I went through
that whole astronaut booklet
437
00:24:13,214 --> 00:24:14,852
from cover to cover.
438
00:24:15,008 --> 00:24:17,806
I could have gone up in that rocket.
I even volunteered to.
439
00:24:18,678 --> 00:24:21,431
But it's not what you know,
it's who you know.
440
00:24:22,098 --> 00:24:23,975
I think they're getting ready
for the countdown.
441
00:24:24,142 --> 00:24:26,975
- Five. Four. Three.
- Five. Four. Three.
442
00:24:27,646 --> 00:24:30,843
- Two. One...
- Two. One. Blast off.
443
00:24:38,198 --> 00:24:40,029
That's the Addams determination.
444
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,591
If I know Fester, he'll catch up.
445
00:24:45,591 --> 00:24:55,591
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