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They're creepy and they're kooky
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Mysterious and spooky
4
00:00:22,178 --> 00:00:23,975
They're altogether ooky
5
00:00:24,138 --> 00:00:26,015
The Addams family
6
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The house is a museum
7
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When people come to see 'em
8
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They really are a scream
9
00:00:32,185 --> 00:00:33,743
The Addams family
10
00:00:35,313 --> 00:00:36,302
Neat.
11
00:00:37,022 --> 00:00:38,091
Sweet.
12
00:00:40,942 --> 00:00:41,931
Petite.
13
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So get a witch's shawl on
14
00:00:44,069 --> 00:00:45,900
A broomstick you can crawl on
15
00:00:46,071 --> 00:00:47,902
We're gonna pay a call on
16
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The Addams family
17
00:01:07,337 --> 00:01:08,929
Oh, it's a lovely night.
18
00:01:10,297 --> 00:01:11,810
That looks wonderful, Gomez.
19
00:01:11,965 --> 00:01:14,081
Yeah, all it needs is a final touch.
20
00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:22,151
Absolutely breathtaking.
21
00:01:22,556 --> 00:01:24,512
All right, Lurch, let's have it.
22
00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:30,008
Thank you.
23
00:01:40,444 --> 00:01:41,638
No damage.
24
00:01:45,615 --> 00:01:46,650
Beautiful.
25
00:01:46,991 --> 00:01:48,060
Beautiful!
26
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,771
Querida, let's have a go at the tower.
27
00:01:50,994 --> 00:01:53,428
Now, darling, that's Lurch's room.
28
00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:56,597
Besides, you've had enough fun
for one day.
29
00:01:56,790 --> 00:01:58,223
Lurch can use the playroom.
30
00:01:58,375 --> 00:02:00,764
We can both take turns
with the wrecking ball.
31
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,157
Temperance, temperance.
Too much of a good thing...
32
00:02:04,754 --> 00:02:07,268
Besides, I have all of these bills to get out.
33
00:02:08,048 --> 00:02:09,117
Very well.
34
00:02:09,299 --> 00:02:10,618
Thank you, Lurch.
35
00:02:14,428 --> 00:02:15,907
Well, now. Let's see.
36
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:24,830
Thank you.
37
00:02:30,482 --> 00:02:33,758
Darling, our phone bill
has been unusually high this month.
38
00:02:34,193 --> 00:02:35,672
Have you been making any calls?
39
00:02:35,819 --> 00:02:38,128
Just to Saudi Arabia on that oil merger.
40
00:02:39,113 --> 00:02:41,343
I dialed four or five times
before I got the right number.
41
00:02:41,532 --> 00:02:43,329
It's a bit expensive.
42
00:02:43,491 --> 00:02:44,526
Oil merger?
43
00:02:44,867 --> 00:02:48,098
Abigail Adams and the rest
of those Boston one-D Adamses
44
00:02:48,328 --> 00:02:49,727
are trying to block the deal.
45
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,230
In fact, they're trying to go to court
to have me removed
46
00:02:52,415 --> 00:02:54,326
as executor to the family fortunes.
47
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,218
A financial wizard like you?
48
00:02:57,043 --> 00:03:00,479
Abigail's always fancied herself
as the head of the Addams family.
49
00:03:01,088 --> 00:03:04,922
Besides, she thinks I'm some kind of a nut.
50
00:03:06,675 --> 00:03:08,393
You? Impossible.
51
00:03:09,094 --> 00:03:11,813
She even tried to prove it
in court once before.
52
00:03:12,013 --> 00:03:14,004
Good thing the judge fell asleep.
53
00:03:15,098 --> 00:03:18,295
Darling, if dear Abigail is
as smart as she thinks she is,
54
00:03:18,601 --> 00:03:20,159
she'll drop this case.
55
00:03:21,937 --> 00:03:25,009
After all, the family fortune
couldn't be in better hands.
56
00:03:25,898 --> 00:03:26,887
Could it?
57
00:03:27,066 --> 00:03:30,217
Never has the family been able
to declare larger tax losses.
58
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,917
There, that proves your financial genius.
59
00:03:37,698 --> 00:03:40,007
Tish, you just parlez vous.
60
00:03:43,703 --> 00:03:44,692
Hey!
61
00:03:45,037 --> 00:03:48,313
Somebody say something about
Abigail Adams dropping the case?
62
00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:51,179
Well, it sure don't look like it.
She's here in town.
63
00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:52,569
- She is?
- Yeah.
64
00:03:53,002 --> 00:03:56,074
"Abigail Quincy Adams
is in town on family business.
65
00:03:56,713 --> 00:03:59,307
"It is assumed
she will mix business with pleasure
66
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,497
"by visiting her grandchildren."
67
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,030
I didn't know she had grandchildren
in this town.
68
00:04:04,218 --> 00:04:06,209
Well, whosever grandmother she is,
69
00:04:06,386 --> 00:04:09,981
thank goodness she's not our little
Pugsley and Wednesday's grandmother.
70
00:04:10,223 --> 00:04:12,578
Actually, she's only a cousin by marriage.
71
00:04:12,975 --> 00:04:16,604
Still, I do think we ought to
pay our respects and invite her over.
72
00:04:16,936 --> 00:04:18,255
Our worst enemy?
73
00:04:18,854 --> 00:04:20,173
I'm gonna faint!
74
00:04:23,191 --> 00:04:24,624
Quick! Water.
75
00:04:28,278 --> 00:04:29,791
Thank you, Thing.
76
00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:39,059
What's the matter with Fester?
77
00:04:39,203 --> 00:04:40,955
He heard Abigail Adams was in town.
78
00:04:41,121 --> 00:04:43,032
I guess the shock was too much for him.
79
00:04:43,206 --> 00:04:44,798
Better try my remedy.
80
00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:47,121
It always ends his spells.
81
00:04:50,211 --> 00:04:52,167
That felt good. Do it again.
82
00:04:53,171 --> 00:04:54,160
My turn.
83
00:04:55,381 --> 00:04:58,259
No, no, no, Gomez, darling.
Now, put it down.
84
00:04:58,801 --> 00:05:00,917
I want to find out what this is all about.
85
00:05:01,094 --> 00:05:05,053
Morticia, Gomez just told you.
86
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,057
Abigail is out to get him.
87
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,942
- She has been shooting dirty pool.
- She has?
88
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,785
Well, then,
she's not welcome in this house.
89
00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:14,377
Hold it.
90
00:05:14,938 --> 00:05:18,169
That Abigail probably has got spies
all over the place.
91
00:05:18,690 --> 00:05:20,203
We better look around.
92
00:05:20,483 --> 00:05:21,916
Can't be too careful.
93
00:05:22,068 --> 00:05:23,501
The walls have ears.
94
00:05:25,404 --> 00:05:26,837
Interesting thought.
95
00:05:28,698 --> 00:05:31,053
Wednesday's in love,
Wednesday's in love!
96
00:05:31,241 --> 00:05:33,311
Wednesday's in love!
97
00:05:33,493 --> 00:05:35,529
Now, you stop that, Pugsley.
98
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,341
It's not nice to tease your sister, darling.
99
00:05:37,496 --> 00:05:39,805
Besides, she's been taking judo lessons.
100
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,286
- See what I mean?
- Yes, sir.
101
00:05:44,501 --> 00:05:47,140
By the way, has there been
any phone calls for me?
102
00:05:47,337 --> 00:05:49,407
She means Robespierre Courtney.
103
00:05:49,713 --> 00:05:52,022
She's even doing her hair different for him.
104
00:05:52,215 --> 00:05:55,093
Yesterday she got so upset
while waiting for his call
105
00:05:55,468 --> 00:05:58,858
that she let the trains run for 20 minutes
without one crash.
106
00:05:59,471 --> 00:06:00,870
Wednesday, you didn't.
107
00:06:01,014 --> 00:06:02,606
Shocking waste of electricity.
108
00:06:02,765 --> 00:06:06,440
We could have recharged Uncle Fester
10 times with all that power.
109
00:06:06,976 --> 00:06:10,605
I'm sorry, Father,
but you don't measure love with dollars.
110
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,663
That's a woman for you.
111
00:06:16,191 --> 00:06:17,306
That's love.
112
00:06:17,442 --> 00:06:19,194
I'm afraid it's unrequited.
113
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,078
Poor little Wednesday's so upset.
114
00:06:21,237 --> 00:06:24,866
Oh, dear. I'm sorry to hear
that child's so unhappy.
115
00:06:25,282 --> 00:06:28,592
I think I'll just go down to the cellar
and wrestle with the alligator.
116
00:06:28,826 --> 00:06:29,861
Mama...
117
00:06:30,410 --> 00:06:32,970
We can't think
of our own selfish pleasures now.
118
00:06:33,162 --> 00:06:34,834
We must think of Wednesday.
119
00:06:34,997 --> 00:06:36,396
You're right, Morticia.
120
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:38,531
The alligator can wait.
121
00:06:39,209 --> 00:06:42,326
Now, we must get
Wednesday together with...
122
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,239
Robespierre.
123
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,788
We've just got to get you together
with Wednesday Addams.
124
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:51,795
But you said you didn't want me
to have anything to do with those kooks.
125
00:06:52,302 --> 00:06:54,975
That was before your mother found out
the little girl was related
126
00:06:55,179 --> 00:06:56,817
to Abigail Quincy Adams.
127
00:06:57,847 --> 00:07:00,361
It just so happens
that Abigail Quincy Adams
128
00:07:00,558 --> 00:07:03,356
is one of the most socially prominent
women in America.
129
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,028
Is that what you meant by riffraff?
130
00:07:07,104 --> 00:07:10,255
Mother was just trying
to have her little joke.
131
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:13,648
You want Mother
to be the president of her club, don't you?
132
00:07:13,859 --> 00:07:15,815
Why don't you spell it out for the kid?
133
00:07:15,986 --> 00:07:19,615
Your mother wants you to wangle us
an invitation to the Addams family.
134
00:07:19,989 --> 00:07:22,708
Then she can say she had tea
with Abigail Quincy Adams
135
00:07:22,908 --> 00:07:24,944
and we can get our name
in the society column.
136
00:07:25,493 --> 00:07:27,006
You're impossible.
137
00:07:27,161 --> 00:07:28,958
That makes us a perfect pair.
138
00:07:32,832 --> 00:07:33,821
Hello?
139
00:07:34,416 --> 00:07:36,134
Yes, this is Mrs. Courtney.
140
00:07:37,502 --> 00:07:39,094
Morticia Addams?
141
00:07:40,421 --> 00:07:41,410
Tea?
142
00:07:42,047 --> 00:07:44,481
Yes, we'd be delighted.
143
00:07:45,091 --> 00:07:47,685
Oh, of course I'll bring Robespierre.
144
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,411
And how is dear grandmother?
145
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,572
Splendid.
146
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:55,921
Toodle-oo.
147
00:07:57,267 --> 00:08:00,896
We're going to have tea
with the Addams family!
148
00:08:01,145 --> 00:08:02,942
Hurray for our side.
149
00:08:04,772 --> 00:08:06,285
Isn't that nice?
150
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,590
She especially asked about you, Mama.
151
00:08:08,817 --> 00:08:11,411
I always was the popular one in the family.
152
00:08:12,528 --> 00:08:15,406
You know, I do think I'd better
have a talk with Wednesday.
153
00:08:15,614 --> 00:08:17,127
You know, woman to woman.
154
00:08:17,407 --> 00:08:19,477
I can give her a few helpful hints.
155
00:08:19,658 --> 00:08:24,652
Querida, you are to romance
what Mama is to dignity and charm.
156
00:08:25,288 --> 00:08:26,403
Darling.
157
00:08:30,375 --> 00:08:32,969
Oh, that dress does do things for you.
158
00:08:33,544 --> 00:08:35,500
Black is such a happy color.
159
00:08:36,379 --> 00:08:38,097
Now, remember, my dear,
160
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:42,044
in all your relationships with boys,
you must be shy and modest.
161
00:08:42,717 --> 00:08:43,832
Yes, Mother.
162
00:08:44,302 --> 00:08:46,532
Poise and good manners
are important, too.
163
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,836
For instance, when Robespierre comes,
164
00:08:49,014 --> 00:08:51,482
I think it would be proper
for you to curtsy.
165
00:08:52,016 --> 00:08:54,894
- Curtsy?
- Yes, let's try it.
166
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:57,880
In this dress?
167
00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:00,454
I see what you mean.
168
00:09:01,231 --> 00:09:03,062
Let's forget about the curtsy.
169
00:09:03,274 --> 00:09:06,027
- Now, what are you going to talk about?
- My spiders.
170
00:09:06,235 --> 00:09:07,714
That's marvelous.
171
00:09:07,944 --> 00:09:09,662
If the spiders don't get him,
172
00:09:09,821 --> 00:09:12,335
and being shy and modest
doesn't get him,
173
00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:14,893
use the trap.
174
00:09:17,577 --> 00:09:18,612
Good hunting.
175
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:21,155
Very becoming.
176
00:09:22,038 --> 00:09:23,357
I like the style.
177
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:27,862
Still, dressing isn't everything
when it comes to pleasing a young man.
178
00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:30,678
A young lady has to know
all the latest steps.
179
00:09:31,295 --> 00:09:33,092
So, Thing, if you don't mind...
180
00:09:56,022 --> 00:09:58,820
That's it! By george, I think you've got it!
181
00:09:59,024 --> 00:10:02,016
But, just in case the dance doesn't work,
182
00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:04,221
try this.
183
00:10:08,615 --> 00:10:09,650
Very nice.
184
00:10:09,949 --> 00:10:11,018
Very nice.
185
00:10:11,784 --> 00:10:14,856
But there's just one thing
that boys can't resist.
186
00:10:15,453 --> 00:10:17,523
A nice long face.
187
00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:21,655
Beautiful.
188
00:10:21,874 --> 00:10:23,944
But just in case that doesn't work...
189
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,124
Good.
190
00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:40,835
Good.
191
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:43,536
But you know what attracts a man most?
192
00:10:43,849 --> 00:10:45,601
- Money?
- No.
193
00:10:45,851 --> 00:10:48,081
Hair, a woman's hair.
194
00:10:48,394 --> 00:10:49,429
See?
195
00:10:50,562 --> 00:10:51,995
And you're my type.
196
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:08,439
Perfect.
197
00:11:08,659 --> 00:11:11,571
But just in case the hair doesn't work...
198
00:11:15,498 --> 00:11:16,613
What's that?
199
00:11:16,749 --> 00:11:17,784
Love dust.
200
00:11:27,298 --> 00:11:30,335
What advice do you have for me, Lurch?
201
00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:35,448
Oh, I love you.
202
00:11:50,565 --> 00:11:53,398
Nothing like a bit of cricket
to while away an hour or two.
203
00:11:53,609 --> 00:11:55,486
Darling, are you sure
this is the way it's played?
204
00:11:55,653 --> 00:11:58,406
Querida, I was the scourge
of the fields of Eton.
205
00:11:58,696 --> 00:12:01,574
I can hit the ball with my eyes shut.
206
00:12:03,033 --> 00:12:04,148
Serve it up.
207
00:12:04,284 --> 00:12:05,319
Yes, dear.
208
00:12:09,621 --> 00:12:11,851
Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.
209
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,560
Nothing at all.
210
00:12:13,749 --> 00:12:15,148
I did make contact.
211
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,481
That must be the Courtneys.
212
00:12:18,628 --> 00:12:21,096
Let Lurch get them. Once more, my dear.
213
00:12:27,635 --> 00:12:29,705
The Courtneys.
214
00:12:33,139 --> 00:12:34,458
Gomez Addams here.
215
00:12:36,224 --> 00:12:37,452
How do you do?
216
00:12:39,143 --> 00:12:41,418
And this is my lovely wife, Morticia.
217
00:12:41,854 --> 00:12:43,082
How do you do?
218
00:12:43,813 --> 00:12:47,726
I guess you folks go in for pop art.
219
00:12:48,859 --> 00:12:50,008
Or something.
220
00:12:50,777 --> 00:12:53,416
So, this is Wednesday's little friend...
221
00:12:54,154 --> 00:12:55,269
Robespierre.
222
00:12:55,447 --> 00:12:57,836
Oh, yes. He certainly looks it.
223
00:12:58,074 --> 00:13:00,542
I'll call Wednesday. Wednesday, darling?
224
00:13:04,412 --> 00:13:07,245
Come along, dear,
and say hello to your little friend.
225
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:14,742
Wednesday, what was that?
226
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:15,913
Love dust.
227
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,037
Children today. So precocious.
228
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,774
Would you children like to go out
and play in the cave?
229
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,002
No.
230
00:13:23,134 --> 00:13:24,965
- In the swamp?
- No.
231
00:13:25,219 --> 00:13:26,618
Did you say cave?
232
00:13:27,054 --> 00:13:28,123
And swamp?
233
00:13:28,472 --> 00:13:31,589
It's not much, but room enough to romp.
234
00:13:33,684 --> 00:13:34,958
Wednesday, darling,
235
00:13:35,102 --> 00:13:38,014
why don't you and Robespierre
go and play with the trains?
236
00:13:38,229 --> 00:13:40,299
Would you like that, Robespierre?
237
00:13:41,064 --> 00:13:42,736
Well, all right.
238
00:13:44,525 --> 00:13:46,516
Spirited little fellow you have there.
239
00:13:46,694 --> 00:13:47,922
Please, come in.
240
00:13:50,738 --> 00:13:52,057
Please, sit down.
241
00:14:02,622 --> 00:14:04,977
I suppose you'd like to meet
the rest of the family?
242
00:14:05,166 --> 00:14:07,885
After all, a child is a product
of its environment.
243
00:14:08,668 --> 00:14:10,067
Will you excuse us?
244
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,972
Oh, Cousin Itt!
245
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,374
Your cousin?
246
00:14:21,011 --> 00:14:22,569
He's up in the fireplace?
247
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,039
Loves privacy.
248
00:14:25,222 --> 00:14:26,894
Itt, are you there?
249
00:14:28,933 --> 00:14:30,446
He's there, all right.
250
00:14:30,685 --> 00:14:32,323
Itt, please, come down.
251
00:14:32,519 --> 00:14:35,113
There are some people here
we want you to meet.
252
00:14:46,154 --> 00:14:48,714
Mr. And Mrs. Courtney,
this is our Cousin Itt.
253
00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:50,025
Cousin what?
254
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,351
Not What, Itt.
255
00:14:56,454 --> 00:14:58,365
He always says the right thing.
256
00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:02,073
Morticia, I can't get this thing
tight enough.
257
00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:04,635
Dear, you're so helpless.
258
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,554
This is the only thing
that cures his headaches.
259
00:15:15,676 --> 00:15:17,712
Fester, these are Robespierre's parents.
260
00:15:17,886 --> 00:15:18,875
Oh, hi.
261
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,499
Who's Robespierre?
262
00:15:21,639 --> 00:15:24,073
He's the little tyke
Wednesday's set her cap for.
263
00:15:24,266 --> 00:15:26,302
Oh. When's the wedding?
264
00:15:26,643 --> 00:15:29,441
Now, look, they're just children.
265
00:15:30,187 --> 00:15:32,303
This is just a social call.
266
00:15:32,647 --> 00:15:35,286
We've always admired Abigail Adams.
267
00:15:35,483 --> 00:15:36,836
Abigail!
268
00:15:39,903 --> 00:15:40,938
Excuse us.
269
00:15:44,114 --> 00:15:47,390
Honey, do you know
a good divorce lawyer?
270
00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:51,462
Henry, rich people are all eccentric.
271
00:15:51,662 --> 00:15:53,653
Nobody is that rich.
272
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,398
I know a spy when I see one.
273
00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:00,680
He has the face of THRUSH.
274
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,269
And did you see
all those pens in his pocket?
275
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:04,993
Microphones.
276
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,324
Are you sure?
277
00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:08,516
Have I ever been wrong?
278
00:16:08,716 --> 00:16:10,035
Now don't answer that.
279
00:16:10,175 --> 00:16:12,131
Now, Itt, you keep an eye out...
280
00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:14,201
Well, you just stand guard.
281
00:16:14,345 --> 00:16:15,744
Come on. Watch.
282
00:16:17,806 --> 00:16:20,718
Look, why don't we just say
hello to Abigail Adams
283
00:16:20,933 --> 00:16:22,366
and get out of here?
284
00:16:23,894 --> 00:16:25,532
What's your hurry?
285
00:16:25,812 --> 00:16:26,801
Hey!
286
00:16:27,021 --> 00:16:29,171
Very interesting pens you have there.
287
00:16:31,316 --> 00:16:32,305
Yeah.
288
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:36,090
Be more interesting
especially if they had ink in them.
289
00:16:38,613 --> 00:16:40,444
Oh, you... You...
290
00:16:41,324 --> 00:16:42,393
Oh, dear.
291
00:16:42,575 --> 00:16:45,214
Don't worry.
We'll do something about the dress.
292
00:16:45,410 --> 00:16:48,959
But you must admit,
it does look better in a darker shade.
293
00:16:49,663 --> 00:16:52,780
Now, go on, then.
Which one has the microphone?
294
00:16:52,999 --> 00:16:54,034
Microphone?
295
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:57,044
Uncle Fester has an uncanny sense
about these things.
296
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:04,579
Uncanny?
297
00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:11,794
Excuse us.
298
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:18,337
Eleanor, I want to be fair about this.
299
00:17:18,685 --> 00:17:21,677
You may have custody of Robespierre.
300
00:17:24,606 --> 00:17:29,157
What if Abigail calls all those witnesses
and gets Gomez back in court again?
301
00:17:29,735 --> 00:17:31,214
Dear, that could be dangerous.
302
00:17:31,361 --> 00:17:33,875
Cara, was Stonewall Addams afraid?
303
00:17:34,196 --> 00:17:35,629
When he led his troops into battle?
304
00:17:35,781 --> 00:17:37,453
When he flunked his physical.
305
00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:38,650
I have it.
306
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,760
I shall win our friends over
with a demonstration
307
00:17:41,952 --> 00:17:44,182
of the Gomez Addams financial wizardry.
308
00:17:44,537 --> 00:17:46,129
Then can I shoot them in the back?
309
00:17:46,289 --> 00:17:48,120
There will be no violence.
310
00:17:48,624 --> 00:17:49,818
Count me out.
311
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,468
Itt, I'll play you a game of solitaire
in the chimney.
312
00:17:52,668 --> 00:17:53,703
Come on.
313
00:17:57,088 --> 00:17:58,123
Come, dear.
314
00:17:58,256 --> 00:18:02,568
Querida, maybe we should let Fester
take a shot. He hasn't got very good aim.
315
00:18:02,843 --> 00:18:05,198
Your way is the honorable way.
316
00:18:09,931 --> 00:18:11,683
Courtney, how would you like
to become rich?
317
00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:13,202
We only came here to meet...
318
00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:16,148
Nonsense, Mr. Courtney.
It's really quite painless.
319
00:18:16,436 --> 00:18:17,505
And besides,
320
00:18:17,645 --> 00:18:20,876
it's the least we can do
after ruining Mrs. Courtney's dress.
321
00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:24,337
Old man, you're buying yourself
10,000 shares of Consolidated Lint.
322
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:25,602
10,000?
323
00:18:25,735 --> 00:18:27,930
Yes, I have a private line to my broker.
324
00:18:28,111 --> 00:18:29,180
- Blooker...
- Now, wait a minute.
325
00:18:29,321 --> 00:18:31,391
I can't afford 10,000 shares of anything.
326
00:18:31,572 --> 00:18:34,644
No problem. We'll just have them
pick up 1,000 for you.
327
00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:37,020
My husband is so understanding.
328
00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:39,920
I'm getting out of this booby trap.
329
00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:41,558
Robespierre!
330
00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:43,715
Blooker, cancel that order.
331
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,819
My, but your husband's a jumpy one.
332
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,241
Robespierre.
333
00:18:49,794 --> 00:18:53,992
Oh, Mr. Courtney,
I'm so glad you decided to stay.
334
00:18:55,423 --> 00:18:57,573
Blooker, cancel that cancellation.
335
00:18:57,758 --> 00:19:00,511
Lurch, put Mr. Courtney in the good chair.
336
00:19:13,228 --> 00:19:15,901
Blooker, buy 1,000 shares
of Consolidated Lint
337
00:19:16,105 --> 00:19:17,857
and charge it to Henry Courtney.
338
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,777
C-O-U-R-T-N-E-Y. Courtney.
339
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:23,620
Well, I'll give you
all the details in the morning.
340
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:24,969
Yes, I'll hold on.
341
00:19:25,112 --> 00:19:26,147
Please...
342
00:19:26,697 --> 00:19:28,688
At 86, eh? Good work, Blooker.
343
00:19:29,157 --> 00:19:31,432
Congratulations, old man,
you're on the road to success.
344
00:19:31,617 --> 00:19:34,529
I don't want 1,000 shares
of Consolidated Lint.
345
00:19:34,786 --> 00:19:36,981
Now, now, Mr. Courtney. A deal's a deal.
346
00:19:37,163 --> 00:19:38,960
Let's see how you're doing.
347
00:19:44,043 --> 00:19:46,921
Just as I thought.
Consolidated Lint, 86 and a half.
348
00:19:48,338 --> 00:19:49,327
87.
349
00:19:50,381 --> 00:19:51,939
87 and three-quarters.
350
00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:53,729
- 82.
- 82?
351
00:19:53,884 --> 00:19:54,873
72.
352
00:19:55,552 --> 00:19:56,667
Isn't this exciting?
353
00:19:56,802 --> 00:19:57,951
64 and an eighth.
354
00:19:58,095 --> 00:19:59,574
Sell, please sell. Sell.
355
00:19:59,721 --> 00:20:01,313
Too late. 62 and an eighth.
356
00:20:02,432 --> 00:20:03,831
Excuse me, please.
357
00:20:05,559 --> 00:20:06,548
Darling.
358
00:20:08,811 --> 00:20:11,769
I'm not too sure, but I don't think
Mr. Courtney is very happy
359
00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:13,129
in Consolidated Lint.
360
00:20:13,273 --> 00:20:14,752
Well, we can certainly take care of that.
361
00:20:14,899 --> 00:20:16,969
I'll swing him into National Dust.
362
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:20,420
Blooker, sell Courtney's
Consolidated Lint.
363
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,626
And pick up 1,000 shares of National Dust.
364
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,393
Please, you can thank me
some other time.
365
00:20:26,575 --> 00:20:28,850
1,000 National Dust at 75?
366
00:20:29,076 --> 00:20:31,544
- Good show, Blooker.
- Hurry, darling.
367
00:20:32,204 --> 00:20:34,399
Let's see what it's doing.
368
00:20:35,623 --> 00:20:36,692
Did it go up?
369
00:20:36,832 --> 00:20:38,902
By george, it's up eight and a half points.
370
00:20:39,084 --> 00:20:40,722
- National Dust?
- Consolidated Lint.
371
00:20:40,877 --> 00:20:42,276
- Back to 70.
- What about National Dust?
372
00:20:42,420 --> 00:20:43,409
Down three.
373
00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:45,696
Bad business,
shifting horses in mid-stream.
374
00:20:45,881 --> 00:20:48,759
I'm sure dear Abigail knows that
as well as anyone.
375
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:51,200
Consolidated Lint. Up to 75.
376
00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:53,679
- Up to 80.
- And National Dust?
377
00:20:53,845 --> 00:20:55,403
Holding steadily at 54.
378
00:20:55,805 --> 00:20:56,954
It pays to buy the better stock.
379
00:20:57,097 --> 00:20:58,212
But it's not paying me.
380
00:20:58,348 --> 00:21:01,499
If you make me stick to this deal,
I'll be broke, bankrupt, penniless.
381
00:21:01,726 --> 00:21:02,920
Nonsense, old man.
382
00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:04,891
If you're a bit short,
I'll take the deal off your hands.
383
00:21:05,062 --> 00:21:06,541
- Oh, thank you.
- You're all even again.
384
00:21:06,688 --> 00:21:08,246
- Thank you.
- Ever make a better deal than that?
385
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:10,115
Oh, no, never. Never.
Thank you, Mr. Addams.
386
00:21:10,274 --> 00:21:11,343
Easy come, easy go.
387
00:21:11,483 --> 00:21:14,043
And now if we could just meet
old Mrs. Adams.
388
00:21:14,319 --> 00:21:17,038
As soon as she's finished
wrestling the alligator.
389
00:21:17,237 --> 00:21:18,829
Wrestling the alligator?
390
00:21:19,698 --> 00:21:21,211
Ah, here she is.
391
00:21:21,824 --> 00:21:22,813
Well,
392
00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:25,589
I finally beat that darn alligator.
393
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:29,862
Dear, Mr. And Mrs. Courtney
have been dying to meet you.
394
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:33,853
She certainly photographs differently.
395
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:37,264
Do you really wrestle alligators?
396
00:21:37,502 --> 00:21:40,539
Oh, just once in a while.
She actually prefers kangaroos.
397
00:21:41,172 --> 00:21:43,447
This is Abigail Quincy Adams?
398
00:21:43,632 --> 00:21:44,826
Certainly not.
399
00:21:45,342 --> 00:21:47,697
I wouldn't have that woman in this house.
400
00:21:50,596 --> 00:21:52,587
Robespierre!
401
00:21:52,847 --> 00:21:54,121
I'll have Lurch get your hat.
402
00:21:54,265 --> 00:21:56,142
Oh, please get my hat.
403
00:22:00,645 --> 00:22:01,998
The bell's out of order.
404
00:22:02,146 --> 00:22:03,738
Well, think nothing of it.
405
00:22:11,569 --> 00:22:13,321
You rang?
406
00:22:13,488 --> 00:22:15,479
The gentleman's hat, please, Lurch.
407
00:22:19,909 --> 00:22:21,183
Robespierre!
408
00:22:23,370 --> 00:22:24,598
Did you call me, Mother?
409
00:22:24,746 --> 00:22:26,623
What have they done to you?
410
00:22:26,789 --> 00:22:28,859
First she made me blow up the train,
411
00:22:29,041 --> 00:22:31,350
and then she wanted
to put me in the guillotine
412
00:22:31,543 --> 00:22:33,659
just because my name is Robespierre.
413
00:22:37,297 --> 00:22:40,016
My husband is going to write
a letter to the papers about this.
414
00:22:40,216 --> 00:22:42,252
How can I? All my pens are broken.
415
00:22:42,426 --> 00:22:44,223
Let's get out of here.
416
00:22:46,846 --> 00:22:48,484
What's the matter with them?
417
00:22:48,639 --> 00:22:49,708
Soreheads.
418
00:22:50,307 --> 00:22:52,901
Oh, poor Wednesday's
going to be broken-hearted.
419
00:22:55,477 --> 00:22:57,069
Where's Robespierre?
420
00:22:58,313 --> 00:23:01,942
Well, darling, I'm afraid you're going to
have to forget about Robespierre.
421
00:23:02,190 --> 00:23:04,340
Forget? I've already forgotten.
422
00:23:04,526 --> 00:23:06,915
He wouldn't even play
with Pugsley's octopus.
423
00:23:08,403 --> 00:23:10,473
That just proves it. He's not our type.
424
00:23:10,655 --> 00:23:11,770
Poor boy.
425
00:23:12,323 --> 00:23:14,359
But as you yourself say, darling,
426
00:23:14,658 --> 00:23:17,331
children are products
of their environment.
427
00:23:28,210 --> 00:23:29,245
Morticia!
428
00:23:29,586 --> 00:23:30,655
You called?
429
00:23:32,505 --> 00:23:33,733
Pugsley and I are ready.
430
00:23:33,881 --> 00:23:35,075
Ah, good.
431
00:23:35,382 --> 00:23:37,259
You're so thorough, Gomez.
432
00:23:37,842 --> 00:23:40,515
So efficient, so precise.
433
00:23:41,094 --> 00:23:43,403
You know me so well, querida.
434
00:23:43,888 --> 00:23:46,925
Giving our congressman
two ways to beautify America.
435
00:23:47,474 --> 00:23:51,513
I like the swinging ball,
but this may do the job better and faster.
436
00:23:52,061 --> 00:23:54,177
- You ready, Pugsley?
- Ready, sir.
437
00:23:59,066 --> 00:24:01,102
To improve the American landscape.
438
00:24:08,281 --> 00:24:09,680
Back to nature.
439
00:24:10,158 --> 00:24:13,116
Beautiful, Gomez. Beautiful!
440
00:24:20,957 --> 00:24:22,788
I'll have to speak to that newsboy.
441
00:24:22,959 --> 00:24:26,474
I've told him we wanted the paper
delivered through the back window.
442
00:24:27,587 --> 00:24:29,464
Cara mia, look.
443
00:24:32,758 --> 00:24:35,147
"Abigail Adams returning to Boston.
444
00:24:35,718 --> 00:24:39,711
"Drops plans for fight over
Addams Family fortune control."
445
00:24:39,972 --> 00:24:41,928
Now, isn't that nice?
446
00:24:42,265 --> 00:24:44,859
The Courtneys
must have given us a good report.
447
00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:55,859
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