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Gomez, darling, don't move. Not a muscle.
3
00:01:13,846 --> 00:01:16,599
I've finally captured the real, the inner you.
4
00:01:21,730 --> 00:01:25,405
Paint, querida, paint. This is for posterity.
5
00:01:32,866 --> 00:01:34,219
Well, it's happened.
6
00:01:34,368 --> 00:01:36,643
Bolt of lightning knocked you out
of your tree house?
7
00:01:36,829 --> 00:01:39,946
Oh, no! It couldn't be.
8
00:01:40,165 --> 00:01:42,918
He just bought a new lightning rod
at the discount house.
9
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I can handle lightning, but this is worse.
10
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,900
Uncle Fester, you haven't been drafted
for military service?
11
00:01:50,092 --> 00:01:52,128
They're taking our finest young men.
12
00:01:52,303 --> 00:01:54,612
Now, don't worry, Fester,
we'll find you a deferment.
13
00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:56,125
Cowardice.
14
00:01:57,433 --> 00:02:00,186
This is a letter from my pen pal,
Madelyn, in Paris.
15
00:02:00,395 --> 00:02:01,748
- France?
- IIlinois.
16
00:02:01,896 --> 00:02:04,012
I didn't know you had a pen pal in Illinois.
17
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,987
Well, it wasn't my idea.
18
00:02:06,151 --> 00:02:09,826
But she got this letter to my pen pal
Madeline, in Paris, France, by mistake,
19
00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:12,141
and from then on she was hooked.
20
00:02:12,324 --> 00:02:14,042
You do write a zingy letter.
21
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,999
Too zingy. She's coming here to visit me.
22
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:20,640
Marvelous.
We'll have the guest room unbolted.
23
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,991
But pen pals are supposed to write,
not visit.
24
00:02:25,004 --> 00:02:27,359
Uncle Fester, is there something
you're not telling us?
25
00:02:29,050 --> 00:02:30,688
Fess up, Fester.
26
00:02:30,843 --> 00:02:34,438
Have your letters led this innocent girl
down the postal garden path?
27
00:02:35,473 --> 00:02:37,862
Well, I did kind of smear it on a little bit.
28
00:02:38,059 --> 00:02:41,654
Oh, well, it's normal to exaggerate
in romance.
29
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:44,729
Yeah, but she said she imagined me
as the Cary Grant type.
30
00:02:46,192 --> 00:02:48,467
What's Cary Grant got that you haven't?
31
00:02:48,653 --> 00:02:50,245
Hair.
32
00:02:51,656 --> 00:02:53,214
You do have a little problem there.
33
00:02:54,618 --> 00:02:56,609
There's a few other things I told her, too.
34
00:02:58,622 --> 00:02:59,691
Like what?
35
00:02:59,832 --> 00:03:04,542
Like I was an All-American football player,
and a boxer, and a polo player.
36
00:03:04,962 --> 00:03:07,556
I think she kind of likes that athletic type.
37
00:03:08,799 --> 00:03:11,996
You did go out on a limb a little bit,
but I think I have the solution for you.
38
00:03:12,219 --> 00:03:13,254
What?
39
00:03:13,387 --> 00:03:14,422
Leave town.
40
00:03:14,555 --> 00:03:17,274
Nonsense, darling, he'll do no such thing.
41
00:03:17,475 --> 00:03:20,433
You're going to stay right here
and welcome her like a true Addams.
42
00:03:20,645 --> 00:03:22,636
She'll be delighted when she sees you.
43
00:03:22,814 --> 00:03:25,567
- She won't even get the chance.
- Where are you going, Uncle Fester?
44
00:03:25,775 --> 00:03:28,847
Well, there must be some place
where a baldheaded man can hole up.
45
00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:34,845
Tish, would you like me if I had no hair?
46
00:03:36,411 --> 00:03:38,800
It might be fun polishing your scalp.
47
00:03:38,997 --> 00:03:40,908
Wait right here.
I'll run upstairs and shave it all off.
48
00:03:41,083 --> 00:03:44,519
No, no, darling.
We mustn't think of ourselves now.
49
00:03:44,753 --> 00:03:48,268
We must think of Uncle Fester.
We'll take direct action.
50
00:03:55,890 --> 00:03:57,403
Thank you, Thing.
51
00:03:57,558 --> 00:04:01,710
Let's see. Gymnasiums, gypsies,
52
00:04:03,356 --> 00:04:04,948
hairpieces.
53
00:04:05,108 --> 00:04:07,178
By george, Morticia, you've done it again.
54
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,351
With a hairpiece,
Fester will knock her dead.
55
00:04:10,113 --> 00:04:11,751
I don't think we want
to go that far, darling.
56
00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:16,119
Querida, we can't call anyone now.
It's night, all the stores are closed.
57
00:04:16,453 --> 00:04:19,809
Oh. Not Max's Hair Salon.
58
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:24,033
Look. "If you want a wig, dark or light,
59
00:04:24,294 --> 00:04:26,524
"call on Max, day or night."
60
00:04:27,214 --> 00:04:28,647
Good rhythm.
61
00:04:28,799 --> 00:04:32,394
I'll just use his emergency night number.
62
00:04:32,678 --> 00:04:34,031
We'll tell him it's urgent.
63
00:04:57,871 --> 00:04:58,940
Yes?
64
00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:04,806
I must be in the wrong house.
65
00:05:17,767 --> 00:05:18,961
Please!
66
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:33,100
Max.
67
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:43,539
Oh, it's so good of you to come.
68
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,099
Allow me, Max. Right this way.
69
00:05:46,296 --> 00:05:48,412
We're really in quite a bit of trouble.
70
00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:50,740
We'd like something nice
for our Uncle Fester.
71
00:05:50,926 --> 00:05:52,996
Something sporty,
that'll take a few years off him.
72
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:54,531
Perhaps 20 or 30.
73
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,432
Madam, I am not a magician.
74
00:05:56,599 --> 00:06:00,114
I can only cover his head.
He'll have to cream his own wrinkles.
75
00:06:00,353 --> 00:06:02,230
That's fair enough.
May we see a few samples?
76
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,547
You mean
without the client being present?
77
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:09,408
Oh, we wouldn't dream of having
Uncle Fester model before a stranger.
78
00:06:09,654 --> 00:06:11,451
He's much too shy.
79
00:06:11,614 --> 00:06:14,174
Besides, he's off somewhere brooding
about his ladylove.
80
00:06:16,244 --> 00:06:17,882
Oh, he's got it bad.
81
00:06:20,457 --> 00:06:22,846
Love seems to bring out the beast in him.
82
00:06:24,169 --> 00:06:25,568
Oh, you mean Kitty.
83
00:06:26,505 --> 00:06:29,577
Kitty cat doesn't need a hairpiece.
Never met a lion who did.
84
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,712
Lion? In this house?
85
00:06:33,387 --> 00:06:36,265
How else are the children going
to learn anything about nature?
86
00:06:36,473 --> 00:06:38,464
They can't wait until pet day at school.
87
00:06:39,226 --> 00:06:40,420
I think I'd... Oh-oh.
88
00:06:46,692 --> 00:06:48,603
I think I'd better come back tomorrow.
89
00:06:48,778 --> 00:06:49,813
Nonsense, old man.
90
00:06:49,946 --> 00:06:51,902
As long as you're here,
let's have a look at the merchandise.
91
00:06:55,326 --> 00:06:56,395
You rang?
92
00:06:56,536 --> 00:06:58,413
Lurch, a mirror, please.
93
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,891
Mr. Max, we're ready whenever you are.
94
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,404
All right, I'll try on a few.
95
00:07:04,586 --> 00:07:08,101
Morticia, you be the judge.
Lurch, you hold the mirror.
96
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,490
You're going to use that mirror?
97
00:07:10,676 --> 00:07:11,904
Naturally.
98
00:07:12,052 --> 00:07:13,929
But it's cracked!
99
00:07:14,513 --> 00:07:17,346
Of course.
Cousin Droop dropped it for luck.
100
00:07:19,185 --> 00:07:21,335
Well, if that's what you want.
101
00:07:22,521 --> 00:07:25,115
Here is a nice model.
102
00:07:25,316 --> 00:07:29,389
We call it banker's gray.
Distinguished but youthful.
103
00:07:29,654 --> 00:07:31,963
I'll try that. Thank you.
104
00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:45,898
- Darling, what do you think?
- For you, darling, it's perfect.
105
00:07:47,714 --> 00:07:49,944
But I don't think Uncle Fester's
the banker type.
106
00:07:52,052 --> 00:07:54,725
All right,
do you have anything more Ivy League?
107
00:07:54,972 --> 00:07:56,564
Uh-uh. No, sir.
108
00:07:56,724 --> 00:08:00,558
- But perhaps you'd like the Mohawk.
- Oh, we'll try that.
109
00:08:14,575 --> 00:08:15,849
Darling, what do you think?
110
00:08:17,662 --> 00:08:19,334
I think we're getting closer.
111
00:08:19,497 --> 00:08:21,965
All Fester needs is the middle part.
He's got the rest of it.
112
00:08:22,917 --> 00:08:26,227
That's true.
But I still don't think it will do, darling.
113
00:08:26,463 --> 00:08:28,693
It would be all right
if his pen pal were Pocahontas.
114
00:08:31,176 --> 00:08:34,612
Don't worry, I've got more.
This one needs a little combing.
115
00:08:35,430 --> 00:08:36,624
My comb.
116
00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:40,670
Oh, that's very thoughtful, Thing.
117
00:08:41,645 --> 00:08:43,681
Yes, thank you...
118
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,204
Hello, Kitty.
119
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:55,849
That's a compliment to you, Mr. Max.
120
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,185
Kitty doesn't come down
for just everyone.
121
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,680
Thank you and goodbye!
122
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,422
Goodbye! What about your toupees?
123
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,320
Keep them!
124
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:16,796
"Keep them." How generous.
125
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,734
Darling, have you noticed how people take
to Uncle Fester?
126
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,493
Especially the ones who've never met him.
127
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,597
Uncle Fester, now you stop squirming.
128
00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:32,975
Morticia, I don't wanna wear a wig.
129
00:09:33,157 --> 00:09:36,388
Nonsense, when you're wooing a girl,
you have to make sacrifices.
130
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,974
But I'm not wooing her, she's wooing me.
131
00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:41,677
All right, then you'll both have
to make sacrifices.
132
00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:44,708
Now, turn around
and let's see how that looks.
133
00:09:46,129 --> 00:09:47,847
That's not me.
134
00:09:48,006 --> 00:09:50,281
Well, it is a bit Rudolph Valentino.
135
00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:54,142
But don't worry, we'll find something
that will do you justice.
136
00:09:55,639 --> 00:09:58,711
Oh, you look great in that one, Fester.
137
00:10:01,812 --> 00:10:02,927
Excuse me.
138
00:10:03,063 --> 00:10:05,736
Darling, that isn't Uncle Fester.
139
00:10:05,941 --> 00:10:08,057
This is Uncle Fester.
140
00:10:08,235 --> 00:10:11,625
Oh, by george,
the spitting image of Cousin Bleak,
141
00:10:11,864 --> 00:10:13,855
the time the boll weevils got in his hair.
142
00:10:14,408 --> 00:10:17,127
Uncle Fester, go over to the large mirror.
You can get a better view.
143
00:10:33,678 --> 00:10:36,192
- Well, what do you think?
- Fat.
144
00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:39,462
Fine if you like the short, tall,
fat, skinny type.
145
00:10:39,685 --> 00:10:42,483
Nonsense, Uncle Fester,
you're much too self-critical.
146
00:10:42,688 --> 00:10:44,997
Why, with your basic good looks
and charm,
147
00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:47,829
you could sweep Madelyn off her feet
in any one of these.
148
00:10:48,027 --> 00:10:50,905
Get with it, old man. Exude confidence!
149
00:10:51,113 --> 00:10:52,626
That's easy for you to say.
150
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:55,421
You don't have to wear a mop
on your head.
151
00:10:55,618 --> 00:10:56,971
Perhaps you're right.
152
00:10:57,119 --> 00:10:59,269
Let's see. Let's try this one.
153
00:11:04,210 --> 00:11:07,566
Hey, that's more like it.
154
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:10,027
Well, it does sort of give you
that Madison Avenue look.
155
00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:11,888
Yeah, it's more my type.
156
00:11:15,597 --> 00:11:17,189
Come in, come in.
157
00:11:18,433 --> 00:11:21,231
- A visitor.
- Who is it, Lurch?
158
00:11:21,436 --> 00:11:23,188
Pen pal.
159
00:11:24,231 --> 00:11:26,745
Madelyn! She mustn't see me like this.
160
00:11:36,118 --> 00:11:39,315
Come on, Fester, that poor girl's
down there panting for you.
161
00:11:39,539 --> 00:11:41,177
She's not panting for me.
162
00:11:41,332 --> 00:11:45,928
She's panting for that tall, dark, handsome
athlete I told her I was, but ain't.
163
00:11:46,212 --> 00:11:48,680
Uncle Fester, turn around.
164
00:11:50,258 --> 00:11:51,532
Come, come.
165
00:11:56,139 --> 00:11:57,697
Now who is that?
166
00:12:00,018 --> 00:12:02,009
That's General Ulysses S. Addams.
167
00:12:02,187 --> 00:12:05,338
- And what did he do at Vicksburg?
- He surrendered.
168
00:12:05,566 --> 00:12:07,443
Not until they caught up with him.
169
00:12:07,609 --> 00:12:10,965
And that same brave blood
courses through your veins.
170
00:12:11,196 --> 00:12:12,914
Hey, you know, you're right.
171
00:12:13,073 --> 00:12:16,463
- I shouldn't let a girl frighten me.
- Not until you're married.
172
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,658
Gomez and I will welcome Madelyn.
173
00:12:18,829 --> 00:12:21,901
You come downstairs
as soon as you have your hair fixed.
174
00:12:22,124 --> 00:12:26,117
After all, the poor girl has come
all the way from Paris, Illinois.
175
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:30,497
Well, if I'm not down in five minutes,
I'll be on my way to Paris, France.
176
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,393
Welcome to the Addams house.
177
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,912
It's so nice to see you.
178
00:12:40,102 --> 00:12:43,219
You can't imagine what a thrill it is
to meet Fester's parents.
179
00:12:43,438 --> 00:12:46,987
- Parents? Are they around?
- Darling, I believe she means us.
180
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:49,304
We're not exactly Uncle Fester's parents,
181
00:12:49,486 --> 00:12:52,000
but we do try to help him
keep his things in order.
182
00:12:52,197 --> 00:12:54,233
Especially his lightbulb and his bats.
183
00:12:54,408 --> 00:12:57,480
Bats? He told me he was athletic.
184
00:12:57,703 --> 00:13:00,058
And he has quite a head on his shoulders.
185
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,284
Quite. You'll find him fascinating, Miss...
186
00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:08,756
Smith. Madelyn Cavendish Beauregard
Faversham Firestone Smith.
187
00:13:11,175 --> 00:13:14,087
- That's all one person?
- Oh, no, no. Five.
188
00:13:14,304 --> 00:13:16,374
They were my ex-husbands.
189
00:13:16,556 --> 00:13:18,911
Were they pen pals, too?
190
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:22,331
Only Mr. Faversham.
The rest were shipboard romances.
191
00:13:23,522 --> 00:13:24,841
Battleship.
192
00:13:29,027 --> 00:13:31,541
Where is that big, strong, lovable Fester?
193
00:13:32,197 --> 00:13:33,391
Fester!
194
00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:39,251
- Oh, dear, I do believe he's gone to France.
- Nonsense. Here's your dream man now.
195
00:13:45,002 --> 00:13:46,151
Howdy!
196
00:14:06,066 --> 00:14:09,615
- This is the cutest house.
- We do our best to cute it up.
197
00:14:09,861 --> 00:14:11,931
And that's the cutest decoration.
198
00:14:12,656 --> 00:14:15,887
Oh, that isn't a decoration,
that was Cousin Squint.
199
00:14:16,118 --> 00:14:17,915
It's all we could save.
200
00:14:20,164 --> 00:14:21,563
You're cute.
201
00:14:27,505 --> 00:14:30,065
Darling, I'm afraid
we made a bad investment.
202
00:14:30,258 --> 00:14:31,737
In Consolidated Dust?
203
00:14:32,135 --> 00:14:35,366
In Uncle Fester's toupee.
We made him much too attractive.
204
00:14:35,597 --> 00:14:37,508
It does seem to have brought out
the Don Juan in him.
205
00:14:37,682 --> 00:14:39,001
In her, too.
206
00:14:39,142 --> 00:14:41,702
Do you realize that
that woman has had five husbands?
207
00:14:41,895 --> 00:14:44,807
- Shows enterprise.
- Enterprise? Nonsense.
208
00:14:45,023 --> 00:14:48,220
- She's probably just a fickle coquette.
- Coquette. That's French.
209
00:14:49,111 --> 00:14:50,544
Speak some more, Tish.
210
00:14:50,696 --> 00:14:54,371
Creme de menthe, savoir faire,
Brigitte Bardot, anything.
211
00:14:55,451 --> 00:14:58,363
- Not so loud, they'll hear you.
- Ah, yes, where were we?
212
00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:00,809
On Madelyn's five husbands.
213
00:15:00,998 --> 00:15:03,717
- I checked into them. They all died.
- Mysteriously?
214
00:15:03,918 --> 00:15:05,795
Not at all. Suicide.
215
00:15:08,548 --> 00:15:11,016
Darling, we have to break it up
for Uncle Fester's sake.
216
00:15:11,217 --> 00:15:14,209
- Morticia, do we have the right?
- Of course not.
217
00:15:14,429 --> 00:15:16,897
- But I'm still worried.
- About what, querida?
218
00:15:17,098 --> 00:15:18,816
Uncle Fester's such a copycat.
219
00:15:24,981 --> 00:15:28,212
Shall we... Shall we sit on the loveseat?
220
00:15:28,443 --> 00:15:29,637
Why not?
221
00:15:34,074 --> 00:15:36,588
This is... This is so intime.
222
00:15:37,411 --> 00:15:40,960
Madelyn, when you speak French
you make my blood boil.
223
00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:43,037
Speak some more!
224
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:47,202
Hasta la vista. Skal! Gesundheit!
225
00:15:48,589 --> 00:15:49,988
Anything.
226
00:15:52,176 --> 00:15:54,246
You men have such a low boiling point.
227
00:15:57,849 --> 00:16:01,762
Oh, you mad, impetuous boy,
let me run my fingers through your hair.
228
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:05,410
- No, no. Watch it. The glue's still wet.
- Glue?
229
00:16:05,982 --> 00:16:08,450
That's what I call my pomade.
230
00:16:08,652 --> 00:16:11,405
Well, got to do my workout.
231
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,350
You rang?
232
00:16:17,494 --> 00:16:19,405
Lurch, my tackling dummy.
233
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,405
When a man loses his head over a woman,
it's a tragic thing to watch.
234
00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:34,262
Don't worry, Uncle Fester won't lose
his head, just his hair.
235
00:16:41,227 --> 00:16:42,580
The dummy.
236
00:16:44,564 --> 00:16:46,441
Right over there, Lurch.
237
00:16:47,984 --> 00:16:51,499
- Now don't get too excited.
- Be careful.
238
00:16:51,738 --> 00:16:53,251
Fearless Fester?
239
00:17:11,258 --> 00:17:14,216
- Oh, darling! Oh, darling!
- I'm all right, Coach.
240
00:17:14,428 --> 00:17:16,259
You were magnificent.
241
00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:18,898
Oh, say it in French.
242
00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:22,846
Oh, that does it!
243
00:17:33,281 --> 00:17:35,511
- You know what I like about you?
- What?
244
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,258
You're different.
245
00:17:39,454 --> 00:17:41,684
You're the first one to ever notice.
246
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,161
He reminds me of someone.
247
00:17:46,337 --> 00:17:48,407
- Cousin Itt?
- That's the one.
248
00:17:50,466 --> 00:17:53,264
- Why don't we fly away?
- Elope?
249
00:17:54,971 --> 00:17:58,930
I can't wait to become Mrs...
What is your last name, anyway?
250
00:17:59,809 --> 00:18:02,164
You know, you're the first one
that ever asked that.
251
00:18:02,353 --> 00:18:04,548
Never mind, never mind.
We'll leave it Smith.
252
00:18:04,731 --> 00:18:07,404
That way we won't have to change
the monograms on the towels.
253
00:18:07,609 --> 00:18:09,247
Oh, goody.
254
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:15,773
- Darling, I'm worried.
- About what?
255
00:18:15,992 --> 00:18:18,552
Uncle Fester and Madelyn.
I think those two are in love.
256
00:18:18,745 --> 00:18:21,339
- With whom?
- With each other.
257
00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:22,814
Impossible.
258
00:18:29,506 --> 00:18:32,225
No, it's not at all impossible, darling.
259
00:18:32,426 --> 00:18:34,860
According to their horoscopes it's perfect.
260
00:18:35,054 --> 00:18:37,363
She's a Capricorn and he's a bachelor.
261
00:18:37,556 --> 00:18:39,592
By george, you're right.
262
00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:41,803
We may have to accept her in the family.
263
00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:45,653
Not only accept her. We may have
to welcome her into the family.
264
00:18:45,898 --> 00:18:49,686
Make sure that she's anxious to marry
Uncle Fester if she has any doubts.
265
00:18:49,944 --> 00:18:52,253
Doubts? About a catch like Fester?
266
00:18:53,281 --> 00:18:55,590
True. He has dazzled her.
267
00:18:55,784 --> 00:18:59,015
But I want her to realize that he's beautiful
on the inside, too.
268
00:18:59,246 --> 00:19:00,725
He is. I've seen his x-ray.
269
00:19:10,841 --> 00:19:12,957
By george,
that's one I've never made before.
270
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:17,895
Dear, I do hope Madelyn doesn't wear
that raccoon coat to the wedding.
271
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:19,653
We'll have her wear something nice
in black.
272
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,599
Querida, you've been practicing.
273
00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:04,333
So you two children are going to elope.
274
00:20:04,522 --> 00:20:06,114
How quaint.
275
00:20:06,274 --> 00:20:08,788
You modern kids certainly are impetuous.
276
00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:11,738
Once you've found happiness, why wait?
277
00:20:11,946 --> 00:20:13,823
Oh, he's so cute.
278
00:20:16,951 --> 00:20:20,500
Well, if you're going to elope,
you'll need a ring.
279
00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:25,810
Oh, it's beautiful.
280
00:20:28,505 --> 00:20:30,814
- What is it?
- It's a gopher's tooth.
281
00:20:31,550 --> 00:20:32,824
It was Grandmother Frump's.
282
00:20:33,510 --> 00:20:36,149
Well, I better go upstairs to get ready.
283
00:20:37,515 --> 00:20:38,664
He's so cute.
284
00:20:38,808 --> 00:20:41,720
Yes, but there's a lot more to Fester
than his good looks.
285
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:43,528
Sit down, my dear.
286
00:20:45,273 --> 00:20:47,741
We'd like to tell you a few little things
about Uncle Fester,
287
00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:49,739
and how to make him happy.
288
00:20:51,571 --> 00:20:52,890
Tell me everything.
289
00:20:54,741 --> 00:20:57,619
Well, for one thing,
he likes to keep charged up.
290
00:20:58,578 --> 00:21:00,409
You mean he drinks?
291
00:21:00,580 --> 00:21:03,936
Oh, heavens, no. Uncle Fester is electrical.
292
00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:05,566
Oh, that.
293
00:21:07,546 --> 00:21:08,535
Electrical?
294
00:21:08,672 --> 00:21:10,151
He lights up.
295
00:21:10,299 --> 00:21:14,008
Now, for newlyweds
that can be a real saving on electric bills.
296
00:21:14,261 --> 00:21:15,614
I guess so.
297
00:21:16,055 --> 00:21:18,569
And of course you know the way
to a man's heart.
298
00:21:18,766 --> 00:21:20,119
Just speak French.
299
00:21:20,267 --> 00:21:22,701
Gomez, darling,
I was thinking about cooking.
300
00:21:25,481 --> 00:21:28,120
You'll want to know some
of Uncle Fester's favorite recipes.
301
00:21:30,111 --> 00:21:31,464
French pastry?
302
00:21:31,612 --> 00:21:35,491
Oh, no, no.
Simple things like eye of newt.
303
00:21:36,493 --> 00:21:37,562
Newt?
304
00:21:38,453 --> 00:21:41,251
Aren't they those little crawly things?
305
00:21:41,456 --> 00:21:42,684
Not after you cook them.
306
00:21:46,044 --> 00:21:48,353
And when he's had a nice,
home-cooked meal,
307
00:21:48,547 --> 00:21:51,744
Uncle Fester likes to relax
up in his tree house.
308
00:21:52,759 --> 00:21:53,874
Tree house?
309
00:21:54,011 --> 00:21:57,321
Be sure you pick a honeymoon cottage
with a tall tree.
310
00:21:59,892 --> 00:22:02,611
All clear below! Here comes the groom!
311
00:22:07,149 --> 00:22:08,946
Well, hop on. Let's hit the road.
312
00:22:10,987 --> 00:22:14,423
Get lost, you electrical, tree-sitting newt!
313
00:22:15,033 --> 00:22:18,742
- Did I do something wrong?
- You got born, baldy.
314
00:22:36,764 --> 00:22:39,232
I told you it wouldn't work.
315
00:22:39,433 --> 00:22:41,310
It's just as well, Uncle Fester.
316
00:22:41,477 --> 00:22:43,274
A woman who doesn't know how
to make a man happy
317
00:22:43,437 --> 00:22:44,950
certainly wouldn't make a good wife.
318
00:22:45,106 --> 00:22:47,256
Besides, her French was atrocious.
319
00:22:47,441 --> 00:22:48,874
Well, who cares?
320
00:22:49,026 --> 00:22:52,063
I could have never gone through life
with that itchy wig.
321
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,158
That's a lovely attitude, Uncle Fester.
322
00:22:55,366 --> 00:22:57,755
Someday you'll find the right kind
of woman.
323
00:22:57,952 --> 00:23:00,147
A woman with just your kind of tastes,
324
00:23:00,330 --> 00:23:03,845
just your kind of interests,
and just your kind of head.
325
00:23:23,896 --> 00:23:27,127
Now take your time, my dear.
Aim carefully.
326
00:23:38,244 --> 00:23:41,202
That was pretty close, Morticia. Watch it.
327
00:23:42,624 --> 00:23:45,457
Don't worry, Fester,
Annie Oakley Addams never misses.
328
00:23:51,550 --> 00:23:53,222
Well, almost never.
329
00:23:55,929 --> 00:23:57,078
I'm getting out of here.
330
00:23:58,891 --> 00:24:00,244
Dear Uncle Fester.
331
00:24:00,392 --> 00:24:03,270
He just hasn't been the same
ever since that woman jilted him.
332
00:24:03,479 --> 00:24:06,869
Well, the whole thing is obvious to me.
She just didn't like motorcycles.
333
00:24:07,107 --> 00:24:09,177
Dear Uncle Fester. He loves his so.
334
00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:11,430
Not anymore.
He's taken up horseback riding.
335
00:24:11,612 --> 00:24:13,648
- Horseback riding?
- Look.
336
00:24:18,035 --> 00:24:19,388
Tally-ho!
337
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,797
So much more sensible.
338
00:24:26,797 --> 00:24:36,797
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