All language subtitles for A.P.Bio.S02E07.MEMENTO+BAMBOOZLE+AMZN.NTb+ION10

All right, sit down, everybody.

Start to shut up. I...

A little history lesson for you.

Thousands and thousands
of people have died

trying to climb Mount Everest,

but I refuse to give
my life to that bitch.

- Hmm.
- Oh, no!

Did I swear again?

Sometimes your only friend
is the howling of the wind.

Is that Greg Miller?

You actually liking this?

Yas, queen. Get right.

He had his frostbit toe amputated.

Mm-hmm, on the side of a dang mountain.

With a steak knife. Get right, queen.

What?

Anyway, my buddy Iceman,
he hands me my severed toe.

It's dripping with blood.

And I... I whisper to her.

I say, "One day, you and me, girl,

we are gonna climb to the summit."

And guess what, folks?

Three years later, that's
exactly what we did!

Now, I've got a special guest
here I wanna introduce you to.

Oh!

Guess what's in here? My big toe.

Here she is.

This toe means everything to me.

Weird.

It reminds me that
nothing's gonna stop my ass.

Whitlock, you wanna see this toe?

No.

Huh?

I'm afraid you're gonna have to earn it.

Now, Greg is gonna be here
all week helping each of you

achieve a personal goal.

- Your own personal Everest.
- Ooh.

And so to all the losers out there,

all the weak, bullied,
people that look in the mirror

and don't like what they see...

I was you. We're gonna get there.

And on Friday when you summit,
I'm gonna show you the toe!

I was defeated, but now
I am "vic-toe-rious."

Stop it, stop it, stop it!
This guy sucks.

Are you crazy? Don't block my clap.

Yes, he's the worst.

Yeah!

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- www.addic7ed.com -

All right, everyone
sit down and shut up.

There will be no Everesting
in this class, okay?

And anyone who plays this
dumb Neanderthal's game

gets an immediate F.

You don't think it's
impressive that he climbed

the world's tallest
mountain with only nine toes?

Uh, you know what, Sarika?

No, I don't think it's impressive.

Actually, I find it a little bit easier.

Did you guys realize
that Everest isn't even

the hardest Himalayan peak?

That's probably why he picked it.
You know, 'cause K2 is way harder.

Actually, he did K2 last year.

Did he? Damn it, did he, though?

- Did he?
- Yeah.

And whose side are you guys on, anyway?

M... Mine or Greg's?

- Greg's.
- Greg's?

All right, give me the
shirts, you patsies.

They're going in the dump.

Oh, jeez, are we out of bananas?

Oh, sorry, Dave.

Ah, it's fine.

Wait, why did you say sorry?

Do you think a man would apologize

for taking the last community banana?

Women apologize way more.

Our Everest should be
the mountain of sexism

- we face every damn day.
- Yes.

Preach.

You know, I've got to stop saying sorry.

That's gonna be my Everest.

Preach it.

I'm sick of yielding
to every man whenever

I walk down the hallway.

No more getting stuck in
between the vending machines

waiting for the hallway to clear out.

I never yield.

I'm like a bull in a glass plate shop.

- China shop?
- I try to be woke.

Racially.

Okay.

- Oh, no more bananas, huh?
- Oh, sorry, Ralph...

- Do not now.
- I... I ate the last...

You better stop.

- Take an apple, bitch.
- Okay, let's...

guys, let's remember to be respectful.

Uh, we are not guys. We are ladies.

I'm just gonna cut my losses here.

You know what? Y'all inspire me.

As strong women, we need
to take care of ourselves.

The last time I truly spoiled myself

was at Sandals Resort, Jamaica.

And if I cannot go there,
it's got to come to me.

That's my Everest, me.

You know, I'm tired of the inequality

and women making way less than men.

Oh, I mean, I'm even more way less,

'cause I haven't had
a raise in 15 years.

Excuse me? That's a no.

- You have got to demand a raise.
- I do?

- Yeah.
- Yes, you go, girl.

I'm fired up already.

- Go get you it, baby.
- Hop off that sofa.

I gotta rock it. I gotta rock it up.

Pop off it.

Jack? Jack Griffin.

It's Greg Miller.

Uh, wow. Have we met?

Uh, yeah. I used to call you
Pimple Butt Jack.

Remember that? "PBJ, PBJ?"

Uh, that's... that is not my name.

Well, I heard you blew it at Harvard

and had to move back home.

Meanwhile, I'm raking it
in convincing these losers

that they're winners.

Joke is, they are losers,
just like you, Pimple Butt.

Yeah.

You know, it's funny, you
kinda sound like an idiot

right now 'cause I don't
have pimples on my butt.

That was a lie you
made up in tenth grade.

Oh, so what do you want to do,
prove it to me by showing me your butt?

I don't think so.

I don't wanna show you my butt.

I'm gonna go wash up somewhere else.

- I didn't say that.
- That's not my scene.

- What are you...
- Bye-bye.

You know, if you tell
anybody about this...

I know, I get an F.

No, no, no, no.

You get a murder.

You can do this.

Wh... Whoa, excuse me.

I... I'm actually... I'm... I...

Yeah, okay.

Right.

Excuse me.

Can I just... can I...
can you... I had... my...

You know what? This actually works out.

I'm worried about Mr. Griffin.

Why? He's always late.

Guys, Mr. Griffin is
hiding from his bully.

That Everest dude called him Pimple Butt

when they went to Whitlock.

He almost made Mr. Griffin
cry in the bathroom,

- and I felt so bad...
- Damn it!

Vic... Victor, what did I say, man?

Your rage makes more sense now.

Mm-hmm.

- You were a nerd too.
- No, stop, okay?

Everybody just chill out.
I wasn't bullied.

I wasn't a nerd.

This isn't one of those
things where you guys find out,

"Oh, Mr. Griffin's just like me."

Lots of us are in denial too.

Guys, stop, okay?

I hate Greg because he's a liar.

It's as simple as that, okay?

He... he constantly
spread lies in high school.

- About your pimple butt?
- No, not about my pimple butt.

I don't have a p... guys,
there's no pimples on my butt.

There never were.

Look, the guy's a liar.

He was lying then, and
I bet you he's lying now.

I bet you he didn't even climb Everest.

And you know what? I'm gonna prove it.

We're gonna help you, Chief,
because you were bullied.

Okay, well then don't help,
because I wasn't, all right?

If you want to help, help
because you hate Greg.

What if we don't say why we're helping?

Yeah, all right, fine.
That's good enough.

Well, I was the most popular
donor there at the clinic,

so, you know, the
odds of these lovebirds

being related is very high.

Oh, I gotta call you back.

You can't keep stalling.

- It's go time, girl.
- Oh, no kidding.

I gotta stop a wedding this weekend.

No, Helen, it's time
to go get that money.

- Let's go!
- Oh, not today.

No, it's not a good time. No, no.

- Cut the crap, Durb.
- What... what crap?

You need to give Helen a raise.

Oh, yes, ab... absolutely.
I would love to.

Oh.

Well, now, see, this is what
happens when strong women

- come together.
- Yes, we cannot be stopped.

- Let's go!
- Oh.

Mm.

I'd apologize, but
that was not my fault.

That's was the dab's fault, Durb.

- You gotta stop dabbing.
- But it's who I am.

It's aggressive.

You were woman, and we heard you roar.

I don't want a raise.

The school needs the money
much more than I do.

I just got all jacked up
because everyone was being

all empowering and it was
fun, that's all, so disregard.

I put the money aside every year.

I want you to get this raise.

Th... the students want
you to get this raise.

My mother wants you to get this raise.

Tell Debbie to mind her own business.

Okay, well, Debbie Durbin
doesn't mind her own business,

and neither does her son Dennis Durbin,

and neither does Dennis' brother Ralph.

So, Helen, take the GD raise.

Okay, I'll take the raise...

when I'm dead and stupid!

I've got him. I have got him.

So why don't you guys go
ahead and prepare to lift me

on your bony little
shoulders in triumph?

This is a manifest that I
received after a very long,

very, very flirty
conversation with Ditya

at the, uh, Nepalese embassy,

and this shows every single person

who climbed Everest in 2015.

That's the year that
Greg supposedly summited.

And guess what, my little cornichons?

He's not on the list.

He's a liar.

You guys are staring at me.
What's going on?

So we got all the yearbooks Greg was in,

and you were right. He's a liar.

He wasn't weak. He actually took
really good care of himself.

Yep, he's a liar.

You also said you weren't a nerd,

and there's a lot of
evidence to the contrary.

Uh, we saw that you were in band
and that you played oboe.

- Uh-huh.
- I play oboe.

We're o-bros.

Also, we saw that your senior quote was,

"All around the world,
statues crumble for me."

We cross-referenced it
because we thought it was

a quote from Julius
Caesar. But it's not.

It's from a band called Sugar Ray.

And, Mr. Griffin, they're not great.

Yeah, no, I know, okay?

But at the time, there
was this California sound.

It was sweeping the na...

I don't have to explain
myself to you two.

The point is, I've got him.

And over the course
of the next half hour,

I'm gonna weave a web around him

waiting for the perfect
moment to pounce.

Toy with my prey.

Howdy, hikers.

I've got you! I've got you!

I've got him! He's a liar!

You're a liar, and I got ya!

Read it and weep, sucker.

It seems that no one named Greg Miller

climbed Everest in 2015.

Oh, PBJ.

You wanna know the truth?

After I lost my toe in my
first attempt to summit,

I came home to months of
grueling physical therapy.

For a toe? Come on, man.

My beautiful, gorgeous
wife stood by my wobbly side

as I recovered, and
out of that darkness,

I decided to legally
change my last name to hers,

Bouvier, so let me ask you,

did a Greg Bouvier climb
Mount Everest in 2015?

You take a look.

- It checks out.
- Yeah, I bet it does.

You know, those things
can easily be forged.

And I... I bet you... I bet
you he never even lost a toe.

Wow.

I really didn't wanna do this but, uh,

take a look.

That's us approaching the Lhotse wall,

bottom of Everest.

And that is Iceman with the knife.

And that's him screaming as
the knife cuts through the bone.

Now, I never screamed. I didn't cry.

I sure as hell didn't lie about my toe.

Jackie, baby.

You need professional help, my boy.

And I'm the one that's
gonna give it to you.

I just talked Durbin into hiring me

for a three-day mandatory
employee seminar.

That's the big bucks, boy.

Ooh, I cannot wait to
get my hands on you,

my little pimple butt.

If you won the lottery
or "Price is Right"

or "Wheel of Fortune,"
isn't there a prize

you'd wanna win?

I mean, there was a time I
was very jealous of a woman

who won an impact-resistant
self-collapsing

DuraGuard protected carry-on
collection from Visionair.

Oh, Mama, that was traveling in style.

That was sexy.

Helen, you are worth more
than some luggage, okay?

So please take this check.

Hmm?

This Sloppy Joe is gross.

LeBron!

Uh, hello.

Hi, Dave.

Dang it, Mary.

I gotta go straight to my
son's christening after work.

Stay strong.

- Not my problem.
- Oh.

Wow. Okay.

Have a good day, Mary.

That sucked. I'm shook.

Climbing a mountain's hard,
girl, but gotta persevere.

Mmm, hits me right in my teeth.

♪ Bill collector called today ♪

♪ Shove ♪

♪ Get out of my... ♪

Hey. Ralph.

You okay, man?

I miss the hummingbirds in winter, Jack.

O... okay.

Uh, listen, Greg Miller
is not who he says he is.

This is a bad guy.

I... I disagree, Jack.

We went out for Shock Tops last night.

I... I'd never heard of this beer.

Have you seen their logo?
It's an orange with a Mohawk.

I looked him up. His name is Wedgehead.

Look, I've known Greg
for 20 years, okay?

He is a liar.

He showed me the toe last night.

He was very vulnerable.

I think if you saw it, you would
understand him on a deeper level.

Maybe you would join us for Shock Tops.

You know what? Thanks for nothing.

I'll get someone else to help.

And, by the way, just so you know,

hummingbirds don't
migrate in the winter.

They just die.

Mr. Bouvier, we just wanna
apologize for yesterday.

Well, I'm running late
for my closing assembly.

Can you help me with my Everest?

My dad always wanted
me to be good at tennis,

but I'm afraid of the balls. Please?

I don't wanna be weak anymore.

So you guys finally came around.

All right, climber, get
your ass to the trailhead.

Let's do this. What you got?

That is badass. All right, let her rip.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, where
did you guys get that?

Come on, stay with it! Whoo!

- Ow!
- Come on, take it!

What are you doing? Come on, Iceman.

You got this.

25,000 feet. 27,000 feet.

29,000 feet. You did it!

That's the summit, bro!

Nice work, man. I was wrong about you.

Oh, my gosh. That was awesome.

- Oh, that was so cool.
- That is the system in action.

Back-stabbing traitors.

Wow. Wow.

You know, and to think I was
just starting to like you guys,

and here you are siding with a bully,

the guy who used to tell everybody

that I was still
breastfeeding on my mom,

my hardworking single mother's boobies.

Yeah, he used to... he used
to take little ketchup packets

and he would put a little tear in it,

put it on my chair so that
when I sat down, it exploded,

and he'd be like, "Hey,
Jack just had his period.

Check it out, everybody."

And he'd call me Period Boy Jack,

yeah, one of two PBJ nicknames.

That's who you just sided with.

You guys suck.

Boss, the tennis balls were
just a distraction so that

we could grab this.

We got the toe.

Oh.

My babies.

My beautiful, sweet babies.

He's gonna freak out
when he realizes that

this toe is missing.

We gotta make it to that assembly.

Come on, let's go.
I don't wanna miss this.

This is really gross.

Come on.

I'm no stranger to adventure myself.

When I was a gnat's butt older than you,

I went on a class-five rapids expedition

through the Appalachians
with my friend Gale.

I had been trying to convince
her to do a gal's trip

- in the wilderness...
- Hey, Greg.

Hey, man, um, listen.

I just wanted to apologize, uh,

about what happened
the other day. I'm... I'm sorry.

Oh, okay, well, I wanted
to tell you something too.

I... I heard you lost your mom.

Man, I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Bet you're starving.

- Little baby needs his milk.
- Right.

Now I gotta go inspire
these losers, so, uh,

I forgive you. We're good.

Good.

And then the natives,
they served me the stew.

And while I was eating...
'cause I was hungry...

I kept asking, "Did you find
my friend Gale in the wreckage?"

And suddenly I felt a bone in my mouth.

And I understood.

I had eaten my best friend.

Well, without further ado,
let's welcome back Greg Miller.

What's going on, Whitlock?

Boy, we had some great
summits this week, didn't we?

I'm so proud of you guys.
Show us the toe!

Oh, you wanna jump to it, huh?

I think you deserve it.

- Yeah.
- Let's do this thing.

She might be a little shy.
Let's see how it goes.

You wanna come out and say hi?

This little piggy went to Whitlo...

My t... where's my toe?

What the hell?

- Somebody stole my toe!
- No, no, no, hey.

I just saw it ten minutes ago.

Whitlockians are not thieves.

I'm gonna give everyone
a countdown from five

to return the toe, okay? Counting down.

Five, four... it's okay. Three...

- It's not okay.
- Two, one.

Okay, another five starting now.

- Five, four...
- You dumb inbred dog turds!

You're trying to rattle me?

I climbed Everest, okay?

You think you're
better than that, bitch?

Your Everests were the
worst I've ever heard.

You got "do more footbaths" over here.

What the hell is that?

And your quarterback has a broken leg.

Okay, I don't know about
you, but I like quarterbacks

who can actually run, not
walk around on crutches.

My toe! My toe!

Don't let the door hit you!

You broke a bad, bad man
today, my little cherubs.

We had to. He was your bully, boss.

Mr. G, you know what?

I feel one of our hugs coming on.

Oh, what... what are
you guys doing there?

Come on, this is just
a me-and-Anthony thing.

Come on, guys.

Ah, a lot of teenage smells happening.

Helen Henry Demarcus, come on down.

You've won the
impact-resistant self-collapsing

DuraGuard-protected carry-on
collection from Visionair!

Oh, but you can't touch
unless you agree to take

the luggage and a raise.

Oh, can I just have those
three beautiful little bags?

Nope.

- Okay, I agree.
- Have at 'em.

Yes!

Oh, they're beautiful.
I wanna hug them so much.

Oh!

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- www.addic7ed.com -