Original subtitles

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Dad wants to go into detox.

- Where, Florida? - Here.

- I haven't seen my dad in 9 to 10 years.

- I love you. - After doing some research,

I found a long-term rehab program.

My dad got out of rehab. And he's doing really good.

I'm proud of you.

We'll continue to build on that.

- That's my number one, is to be with my grandkids,

and y'all to trust me.

Well, girls, I hope we get to spend more time together.

- Me, too.

- What's up? How'd the doctor visit go?

- The nurse did her EKG.

She comes back, and goes,

so the doctor's going to come in to see you.

She's like, you guys need to go in this week

to see a cardiologist.

She has to wear a heart monitor, like, on her chest,

right here.

- So this is the heart monitor.

- We have to figure out what's going on

with the rhythm of her heart.

The monitor will track the rhythm.

I'm going to press the button.

And then, I have, like, a diary.

And I have to log the time and, like, what she's doing.

And the doctor was like, I want her to do everything.

- Here we go.

I decided that I am going to go and visit my parents

while they're in rehab.

- First, we're going to talk about

kind of the cycle of addiction and recovery.

- So you ready to come home?

- Yes.

I am more in tune with my emotions,

now that I have tools to use when I get home.

- I found out, my mom relapsed.

And my grandma and my aunt have basically been hiding it.

- They're enabling her.

- Kloie, who all do you want to invite to your birthday party?

- You're all right with your mom coming?

- I don't want Kloie's day to be ruined.

But it's like, obviously, I know you're doing drugs.

- Leah hasn't seen Amber since her birthday.

- Oh, that's crazy, bro.

- If Kristina wasn't there, I mean--

- That's a blessing, right there.

- Trust me, the best thing

that ever happened to Leah was Kristina.

- Like, I kind of want Kristina to adopt me.

Like, I've been wanting it for a while.

- I heard about that.

- I want to speak to an attorney

and at least just get the information,

see what that would entail.

I love you. - Love you, too.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ I got a feeling ♪

♪ I got a feeling

♪ I got a feeling ♪

[line ringing]

- Hello? - Hey.

You all right?

- [laughs] Come get my dad?

Are you not claiming him today?

- Why?

- My father has been doing very well in his recovery.

He's been sober about a year.

But, recently, he has been experiencing

a lot of pain, blood in his urine.

When my dad went to the doctor,

they found a mass on his kidney.

And the mass is cancer.

Why are they having him do a colonoscopy?

- To see if the cancer has spread?

- Yeah.

I don't want to say I think the worst.

But I do have those thoughts, only because,

every day, I'm seeing how sick he is.

One day, he's able to walk himself to the kitchen

or to the bathroom.

And then, the next day, he's in so much pain.

- It really sucks that

he's actually doing the right thing.

And then, this happens.

I'm not going to tell Ali and Aleeah and Adalynn

and--about my dad's health scares right now.

My daughters are continuing to get to know their granddad.

They love him.

And I would like to find the outcome

and what we need to do going forward

before I share that information with them.

Am I scared?

Yeah.

For the first time, I feel like I can just

pick up the phone and call my dad.

That's something new to me.

And I want to have many more years with my dad.

I'll drive him to the colonoscopy tomorrow,

if that would help.

- Yeah, oh, yeah.

All right. I love you.

- All right. Love you, too.

- Bye. - Bye.

- ♪ Time is slipping away ♪

- ♪ I found a four-leaf clover ♪

♪ Floating on the waves ♪

♪ Guess it's my lucky day ♪

♪ Everything's going my way ♪

- It's been a really rough week.

About a week after Kloie's birthday party,

I was in a really bad car accident that shook me up.

Hi!

- Hey!

- It's been hard getting back to normal.

So I'm making a point today to have some girls' chill time.

You look so nice! - So do you.

- I got a reservation.

I got--all of our stuff is here, set up.

And then, she'll come over and give us instructions

on how to do everything.

And then, you can put your purses here, too, if you want.

I've been here a few times--

expert candle maker.

[laughter]

- Hello! - Hi.

- How are we doing today, guys? - Good.

- My name's Lizzie.

I'm going to be helping you guys out today.

I'm going to get you guys started.

So here's a clipboard for each of you.

Smell as many candles as you like.

Write down the scents you like as you go.

And then, go ahead and do that.

Let me know if you have any questions.

- Perfect. Thank you so much.

- Yeah, absolutely.

- This one, I feel like, you would like.

- Yeah, I love that.

- Love, love that one. - Writing it down.

- OK, so I have those drinks for you.

- Thank you.

- I'm going to name Sean's, Big Wick Energy.

- I like that. - [laughs]

That one's good.

- I haven't really seen you, like, since that day

that we were together.

- Yeah, I was like, I'll go get Kloie really fast.

I'll call you when I get home.

And I got in that car accident that, like, luckily,

I didn't have Kloie in the car.

It literally was terrifying.

It literally changed my perspective.

It made me, like, almost reevaluate my entire life

and, like, how I want to show up for people.

And, like, I talked to my mom right after that.

- Did you?

- For, like, an hour and a half.

We haven't seen each other, like, in-person

since the birthday party.

And then, she told me on the phone.

Like, she admitted that she had relapsed,

and that she didn't want to tell me

because she was embarrassed.

I was like, why would you lie?

Why wouldn't you just be honest and tell me true?

She's like, well, you're my child.

I don't want you to look at me the way that I look at me.

And I'm like, you know what?

She's going to do whatever she wants to do.

I'm still going to love her and have a relationship with her.

But it has to be in a way that's like healthy and safe

for me, safe for my child.

I'm obviously not going to let Kloie just go and stay

the night at her house, if I feel like, maybe,

she's not making good choices.

But I'm also not going to punish her and say,

like, you know, my love is conditional.

- I think that you're pretty good at communicating

with her, too--

- Yeah, I try. I try to--

- --when you feel in a safe space, and when you don't.

- Yeah.

- So as long as it feels healthy for you.

- I have to find some type of help for her.

Being in a really scary car accident

can really change your viewpoint on life.

I love her. And I care about her.

Even, at the end of the day, if she was going to do drugs

and be crazy until the day she died,

you know, I still want to be in her life in some aspect.

She might not be there for everything on time.

She might not show up for this, or for that.

But when something major goes down,

I feel like my mom is going to show up.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Ryder has been wearing her heart monitor for two weeks.

Hey.

Today's the day Ryder gets to take it off.

You took it off, Ry? - Uh-huh.

I just put it on the paper.

- At this point, it's been going on for so long.

I'm just ready to know what we're dealing with.

It has my anxiety through the roof.

- Uh-oh.

- I wanted to prep everything now

because Ryder with soccer practice.

And I feel like it takes forever to make.

- Speaking of Ry, didn't you send an email to the doctor?

Did her results come, or did they respond, or...

- Actually, I emailed them.

They responded back and said, good morning.

Final results have not been finalized.

Please check with us in one week.

I got to tell her dad that the results still haven't come in,

because he's asked as well.

I think, with all this going on,

Ryder is still so resilient with everything.

Like, she's doing everything fine.

But what makes it so hard is that, you look at her,

and she does look fine.

You would never even think that she has a genetic disease.

But they cleared her to go to school.

They cleared her for ballet.

They cleared her for soccer.

- Yeah.

I think, as a seven-year-old, she also knows a lot.

She's more in tune to everything.

She's very aware and very smart.

She's going to be good. - Yeah.

- ♪ Let's go! ♪

♪ ♪

- Are you excited for soccer practice?

- Mm-hmm, I'm excited.

- Grandpa's coming.

And then, your dad and Taylor are meeting us up there, too.

- Ooh!

I'll make sure to be on my A game.

- ♪ We are the originals ♪

♪ ♪

- What's up, my family?

- Papa! - Oh, girl.

You ready today?

- ♪ Went to the store, but I'm all out of money ♪

- Ready, set, go.

Run, fast!

Go, go!

Ryder is in the pink.

- ♪ Let's go! ♪

- You OK? - [cries]

- What's wrong?

- What did--shh.

What is wrong?

- Your heart? It hurts?

- OK.

She says that her heart hurts.

- Ry, why don't you go sit?

[somber music]

- Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

The second she feels like something is off,

she has, like, a panic attack.

- Yeah.

- You can see, she gets so worked up.

It's, like, she can't even breathe.

The doctor was like, she can have, like, three things.

She can have heart arrhythmias.

She can have bad anxiety.

And she can have racing heart.

I'm like, none of those--

- Here's the thing. All those go hand in hand.

- They're all together. - You have anxiety,

your heart races, and your heart flutters.

- She's only seven. And she's so hypersensitive.

But I'm just, like, at this point,

we still don't have the results back from the heart monitor.

And I'm like, what are we supposed to do?

- We'll figure it out, though.

- ♪ Into the pain of a memory ♪

♪ Try to see ♪

♪ Now what you want to see ♪

♪ But the dark seeps in ♪

♪ And it haunts you once again ♪

- I think, previously, I really thought about an intervention.

I thought that that might be helpful for my mom.

As time has went on, I've really thought about

my mom as a person, and her personality,

and everything that she's been through.

And, like, what makes sense to her as a person?

What's going to reap positive benefits

instead of negative benefits?

- What are you doing, babe?

- Um, can I ask you a question?

You're recovered, like, what, three years now?

- Yeah.

- So I mean, what do you think would help my mom?

Because you were-- you were a combative asshole.

- Yeah, well, the one-on-one sessions.

- Like, with a therapist?

- Yeah, when I got to dig deeper.

- Yeah, so that's why I think, doing any type of, like,

therapy with family members, maybe that would open a door

to her doing some therapy on her own

and kind of being comfortable with

getting herself some mental help.

- So do you think that Grandma and your aunt

are even ready or open?

- I don't know, because, you know,

it's a sensitive topic for Grandma,

because it's her daughter. - Yeah.

- I think, with my aunt, her loyalty probably

lies more with her sister.

But that isn't really what's best for my mom.

[soft pop music]

- ♪ I grow cold ♪

♪ It's hard to crawl out of these clothes ♪

♪ I unfold ♪

♪ Tied up in the ebb and flow ♪

- Hi, baby girl. How you doing?

- Hi. - You look pretty.

- You look over the menu here before?

- Have you been here before? - Yeah.

- Have you had the brown sugar latte?

- No, I don't have caffeine.

So I've never had anything.

But, anyways.

You know, I had that really scary car accident.

Where I was, like, hit, and I was traumatized.

Right after that, you know, I talked to my mom.

And then, she finally admitted to me, like,

that she had relapsed,

and that she had lied, and, basically,

everything that I already just knew--

- She did? - Yes.

- At least she made the decision to tell you the truth.

- I think it's more than just drug concerns, though.

I think it's mental health--

- I'm worried about her depression.

- Yeah.

And then, I have been--

you know, I looked up some therapy places.

I really think she needs to go see a psychologist.

Somebody that she can be honest with, in private,

would help her with whatever she's got going on.

She's still my mom, and I love her,

but I'm very worried about her.

So what do you think about that idea

of, like, just being like, you know, hey,

we're worried about you.

I'd like you to see just, like, a little family counselor.

- She's going to be complete defense mode.

Come on. Think of your mom.

- She's going to feel like everybody's ganging up on her.

- You don't think that she would

be open to having some family counseling together?

- What if we just made an appointment, and--

- And said, hey, I got an appointment

for a family counselor.

- We got some family counseling.

- ♪ This is a battle call ♪

- Thank you, sweetheart.

- Thank you.

- I think we should see the counselor first.

- First? - And talk to them.

- Yeah, first.

We're all sitting here, kind of on the same page,

of, like, just wanting the best for my mom,

to all have some counseling of our own.

- They have some ideas, how to go about it, you know?

- To open the door, mm-hmm.

We all want our family members to be happy and healthy.

That's--I mean, what family

doesn't want that for each other?

I think, in the long run, that would really help her,

if she had someone she could confide in privately to.

- Right.

- Outside of, you know, any family counseling,

just someone she could talk to.

- ♪ Our journey has begun ♪

- ♪ I'm feeling like a brand new me ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ Brand new, brand new

♪ ♪

[line ringing]

- Hello.

Attorney Trina Saunders speaking.

- Hello, Trina. My name is Gary.

And I was actually calling to see

if I can schedule an appointment for a consultation.

- What type of consultation are you seeking?

- My daughter wants to be adopted by my wife.

- I would like to meet both of you.

I can get you in next week.

- OK, that works for me, I think, yeah.

- How's Wednesday at 2:00?

- Yep, perfect.

[pop music]

♪ ♪

With the possibility of Kristina adopting Leah,

I'm totally on board.

It's not as easy as signing a check or snapping your fingers.

There's a lot involved. We have to go to court.

That puts a lot of pressure on her.

And then, what if her mom just, all of a sudden,

starts trying to take her, you know?

It's a strain on me.

It's a strain on poor Leah.

I'm not here to hurt Amber.

But she shouldn't be here to hurt Leah, either.

- Are you Gary? - Yep, I'm Gary.

This is my wife, Kristina. - Hi, Gary.

Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you as well.

- I'm Attorney Trina Saunders.

Very nice to meet you.

- Somebody's going to get hurt.

And the person that's hurting the most right now is Leah.

I'm making sure my kid doesn't suffer.

- Please, have a seat.

- Of course. [clears throat]

- OK, so we talked a little bit on the phone.

So please, just get started with some background.

And how old is your daughter?

- She'll be 16.

So I have physical custody of my daughter.

Amber, her mother, is not really involved.

In the past year, she has seen her daughter four days.

- Four days.

So there has been child support already ordered?

- It's not enforced in the court.

It should be. - OK.

Has she been paying her support?

- She's behind. - She's behind?

So you would like to discuss what options you have.

I know, we talked a little bit about adoption.

- In a perfect world, Leah,

we'd love for her to be adopted.

- Because she's not had any significant contact

with her mother over the last six months,

that's deemed as abandonment.

I think that adoption would be your best option,

because, in an adoption, that severs

that parent-child relationship that she has with her mother.

And you would become her mother.

And you would also be placed on the birth certificate

as her mother.

But if we can show that she's abandoned her daughter,

then we don't need her mom's consent.

So how do you think Amber would receive this?

Will she make this a battle?

Will she hire counsel?

- Yeah, she would contest.

- But, if we have a contested adoption hearing,

we're going to be able to show that she's

not been in her life.

She's not provided for her financially.

She's not had significant contact

with her in over six months.

I think you have a really good case for an adoption.

- Yeah, it's not something we wanted to do.

It's just, if something happens to me,

I don't see Amber being what Leah needs.

I need to know that, something happens to me, Leah is safe.

- I know this is probably more complicated

than, you know, the conversation

that you've had with Leah.

So I would definitely want for you guys

to have that sit-down conversation with her.

But the timeline, we're looking at maybe

60 days to get the adoption.

- There's a lot of emotions involved.

And it's hard.

♪ ♪

- ♪ I just want to push my luck a little ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ I can feel the struggle deep inside ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey, babe. - Hey.

Ooh.

Yeah, so I found, like, a therapist.

She said, she'd be able to see my mom.

So I'm just hoping that, with this therapist,

that my mom will be able to, like, get comfortable.

I don't feel like, when she went to rehab,

I don't think she utilized enough of the therapy at all.

- I mean, at least, you know,

you're not doing this all by yourself, you know?

You got your grandma and your aunt.

Like you said, your mom's got a lot of family members

that are-- [phone ringing]

- Aunt Kim's calling me right now.

- Take it. - Hello?

- Hey, sweetheart.

- Hey.

- For what?

- Oh, so they're keeping her overnight?

- For at least a day or two.

- Oh, my gosh.

My mother--when she started talking about Christy,

she's so stressed out, you know?

- Oh, well, now, I'm really worried.

- Christy, she better take this seriously.

And she better stop doing fucking drugs.

My mother is not going to die

because she's so worried about her daughter.

I'm not going to allow this to happen.

We're going to have a dinner.

We're all going to go. - All right.

You want to come over to my house tomorrow?

- Wednesday, your house.

Do not forget.

- My aunt seems pretty worked up and upset.

You know, my plan was to give my mom a therapist

and let her try to take charge of her own life.

Now, it's, like, both her eyes are infected.

You know, she could possibly lose her vision.

My aunt thinks it's necessary now to, like,

step in, and basically tell her, like, you need help.

My mom needs that spark, like, inside of her, something,

like, a light to come back on.

Like, hey, like, my life is worth living.

It's worth, you know, fighting for.

It's hard. It's a journey, for sure.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

- Call Nicole. [phone beeps]

[line ringing]

- How are you? - Oh, I'm doing well.

I just arranged all my children to be picked up

so I can take my dad to an appointment.

- What kind of appointment is he going to?

- He's having his colonoscopy.

And I know he's very nervous.

I'll let you know how it goes.

- All righty, love you. - All right, love you.

Here, I'll set this back here for you.

Come on, right here.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

- Why is it that I was so fine on the pain pills, and, now--

God. - Um...

- That's real messy for your mind.

You know what I'm saying? - Well--

- Ever since I went to detox, I have been messed up.

- Because it masked your pain.

You don't feel anything.

- ♪ Come out the cold

♪ Tremors in the water ♪

♪ I'll be the light here ♪

♪ I'll be right here ♪

♪ ♪

- Hi.

I apologize.

My mind is just not all the way

where it needs to be at this current moment.

But Dad's fine.

He's resting in the tiny house now.

This is his discharge paperwork.

The doctor said, as far as his colon,

that he did take two biopsies.

- I think the biopsy will tell us 100%

if the cancer has spread.

- All of these issues and these pains and these ailments

might be coming up

after years and years of neglecting his health.

- Neglecting his health, yeah.

- Dad said in the car, you know,

I was fine when I was on the pain medication.

- Because it blurred his mind. - And that's where I told him.

I was like, yeah, because it was being masked.

- I know, one night, when he was in a lot of pain,

he was like, what I need is a pain pill.

I said, no, you don't. - Yeah, no.

- I said, how about a Tylenol or an ibuprofen?

- No.

I would hate to see one thing spiral everything.

- Yeah.

- When you are masking pain for many, many years

with prescription pain medication,

you have to rewire your brain.

And that happens actively in recovery.

But it doesn't happen overnight.

It takes time.

And my dad being in pain can trigger relapse.

That's the last thing I want, is for my dad to relapse.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Everything is temporary ♪

♪ Everything is golden ♪

♪ Nothing ever lasts

♪ And it's all too overwhelming ♪

♪ Maybe I can live with it ♪

♪ I don't know what's happening ♪

- Hey. - Hey.

Are you guys home?

- Yeah.

- We got the results back.

I was going to come and bring Ryder by,

and then come talk to you about her heart monitor stuff.

- OK. - All right.

- We're home. - All right.

I'll be there shortly.

[pop music]

- ♪ I worry too much

♪ ♪

♪ I worry that I'll wake up ♪

♪ And I won't see the sun ♪

- Oh, throw it!

[doorbell rings] That's Miss Ryder.

Come on. Hey!

What's up? What's up?

- Hi!

- Hi, everyone.

- Hey!

- Hi, Maya!

- Do you want to see the playroom?

I don't think you've seen it with all the toys.

I mean, you have seen it. But--

- There's too many toys in there, Ace.

They're all kind of girly.

- Ace, let's pull your pants up.

- You hang out in here, Ace, OK?

Oh, my gosh. I'm so tired.

- All right.

Now, we get to what we really came here for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's going on?

- So her doctor called me

and said that her heart monitor results came back.

Basically, she said that what Ryder is feeling

is not dangerous.

But she does have, they call it, an ectopic rhythm.

It can feel scary.

She said, the scariness of it is that it would lead

to her having a panic attack.

She sent me a page.

But it was, like, a family, like,

yoga type of person who would come to the house.

And you would do, like, family yoga together,

and kind of just teach her, like,

different breathing techniques.

- Have you guys ever had a yoga class?

- She takes yoga at school.

So I found one that I really like.

So I messaged her.

And then, I thought it would be good

if we did it at our household,

maybe one week with me and Zach.

And then, she comes here

and does it with you guys the next week.

So she feels like, you know,

this is something that's good for all of us.

What do you think?

- I mean, I would just look up YouTube

and look up breathing techniques.

- I mean, I do breathing techniques

when I panic like that.

- I think, by you finding, like, a yoga coach and stuff,

and taking that initiative is big.

Like, thank you for doing that.

- Let me get a few days to lock somebody in.

And then, from there, I'll let you guys know.

And then, I think, from that, it's just

having a conversation with Ry.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ It's magic, magic, magic

♪ ♪

♪ I love it ♪

- All right. Ready? - Mm-hmm.

- Open your eyes. - [gasps]

- ♪ Show me what you got, what you got ♪

♪ Show me what you got ♪

- Whoa!

- It smells like a big brownie in here.

♪ ♪

How have you been feeling?

- Good.

- You want to talk about what happened

with the heart monitor?

- What about it?

- So you know how you feel your heart?

And you kept telling me, I feel it.

- Mm-hmm.

- So the doctor told me that you definitely are right.

But there's nothing wrong.

Sometimes, your heart just skips a beat.

It is something that we can take some classes

to learn how to, like, control a little better,

because you get anxious.

What if you and me and Ace and Zach

took, like, a meditation or, like, a yoga class together?

Would you like that? - I'd love it.

- Yeah? Really?

- Really. I've been wanting to do yoga.

- Yoga sounds good? - Yoga sounds good.

- ♪ Did we forget? ♪

- I'm really happy that we're able to rule out

that her heart is enlarged,

or there's any structural problems.

With Ry having a rare disease, when she is sick,

it's very scary, it terrifies me.

It's just, like, I feel like, a constant, like, mind game

that's, like, a game that I never signed up to play.

But I will continue to be her biggest advocate

for herself and her health.

- ♪ And I don't think I'll get used to ♪

♪ Falling asleep on my own ♪

- ♪ I know how it goes ♪

♪ Take the heavy dose

♪ Decide who's wrong or right ♪

- Are you ready for your follow-up appointment?

- I'm curious about it.

- ♪ That I love you the most, whether we do or don't ♪

♪ Make it to the Canyon Drive ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I will keep on driving ♪

♪ I will go to the end ♪

- That was great news.

Well, it's been a stressful day, a long day.

I'm going to pull in.

You want to go right here and get some coffee?

- All right.

- ♪ I just want it however it goes ♪

♪ ♪

- You all right?

- Here's your coffee with espresso shot.

And here is your mocha.

- Thank you, ma'am. - Thank you, guys.

- The cancer mass on your kidney

didn't spread to any other organs.

That's great news.

And, to remove the spot that's on your kidney,

they'd want to do an ablation.

It's a quick procedure.

You leave the same day.

And I have faith that you'll get better.

I was worried when you said that

you felt better when you were taking

the prescription pain medication.

That's something that would affect your recovery

and create a relapse.

- I told you, my mind was made up.

- I know.

- You want to be bound by this the rest of your life,

or you want to be free? - Yeah.

- I want to be free. - Yeah.

- Why would I go back?

- It's scary with someone that is just fresh in recovery.

I know it's not easy, just from my own personal experiences.

It takes continuous effort

and discipline and faith.

- I gotta get better.

- You will.

You will get better.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- ♪ There's nowhere we can't go ♪

♪ ♪

[knocks] [dog barks]

- Come on in. Come on.

- Hi, baby. - Hi.

Ooh, it's a chilly day.

[laughter] - Oh, it is chilly.

- I haven't been outside yet today.

- A chilly, busy day.

- You should go outside and get some of that fresh air.

- Yeah, I should.

So I called my mom's counselor from Texas.

She kind of recommended, basically,

what we're doing tomorrow, is, like, sit down as a family

and address the situation.

What do you think the best course of action is?

- I think she's going to be very explosive during this.

She needs to see, when she gets big,

they stand their ground,

because, if they don't, they're just going to falter.

And we're going to be right back in the same conversation

in another few months.

- But she was like, obviously, you can't do it on your own,

that, if you don't have multiple family members

that are going to be able to stand by you

and say how they feel, it really isn't going

to go nowhere, so don't waste your time.

- Where are the kids going to be?

- I told Jasmine that she could take them upstairs to the room.

And they could put on, like, a movie or something.

- And another question.

My brother-in-law has to be here.

- He is. He's coming. He's bringing her.

- And he's going to sit in on it?

- Yes. - I'm a little scared of her.

- Kathy said, everybody needs to get over this whole,

I'm worried about her being mad.

- Well, she can't-- she can't do nothing.

- She ain't quick.

- Well, she--did you see them guns on her?

Shit. Don't underestimate your mama.

- She's not going to do what she would do with us privately.

- Well, I usually get hung up on

if I start a conversation like that with her.

- OK, well, let me start it. I'll start the conversation.

- What would you say to get it started, Jas?

- I would just tell her, you know, like,

everybody, you know, has something to say.

And you're not fooling nobody.

- Yeah, just sit down.

All you gotta do is hear us out.

- Yeah, like, all you got to do is listen.

- So we're going to have dinner.

And then, when I say, all right, it's time for dessert.

- That's your cue.

- To sit.

And you, you know, say what you need to say.

Then, boom, you.

And I can try to mediate the whole time, of, like,

keeping it cool, just keeping it calm, keeping it collected.

- I'm really, really worried about this.

- OK. We all got to say how we feel.

I'm not going to participate in you killing yourself

and me looking the other way, no.

I think this is a good plan.

- ♪ Make it happen ♪

♪ Just imagine ♪

♪ Make it happen ♪

♪ Just imagine ♪

- You want a Cheez-It? - Yeah.

- Got some cheese?

- Ew, what kind of cheese is this?

- The best there is.

- Oh, this is disgusting.

- Sharp cheddar, I think.

- No, that's disgusting.

- The Cheez-It, or the cheese?

- The Cheez-It. - Oh.

- What are you working on?

- Homework.

- Well, we had a chance to speak with an attorney

about the adoption,

trying to figure out what that would entail.

If everything was to go smoothly

after filing paperwork, which, you'd have to sign some stuff,

too, it could take three months.

If Amber contests,

then it could take, like, a year.

It could take longer.

So I think the goal here

is to make sure you're healthy and happy and taken care of.

And you have what you want.

- If we say something or, like, do something,

then she might try to, like, do stuff and make it harder.

[somber music]

And then, by then, it might take two years.

And, at that point, there's really no point

in even going through all the trouble for it.

I want to be adopted because

Kristina's been there my whole life.

I mean, I really want to do it,

but I'm scared it would make Amber mad.

I don't like being mean to people.

But I don't know.

I just feel like it should be official.

And it's more than a piece of paper to me.

So I don't know.

I'll have to think about it.

- It's a big decision.

A lot of stuff to think about, is all.

You can even talk with your therapist about it, you know?

Kind of see what would emotionally be best for you,

what's the healthiest option.

I know that your mom loves you.

But, for some reason, she doesn't know how to show it.

You know, if it wasn't for Kristina being in her life

as much as she was, Leah wouldn't have a mom.

It would be nobody.

- Leah's going to weigh her options,

talk to her therapist,

and decide what route she wants to go.

I will do whatever she wants.

Nothing will change the way that I love that girl.

- But I want you to know that we're here to help you,

and to be with you.

I'm what you'd call, your ride or die.

- Me too. I'm not going anywhere.

I love you. And I'm there for you.

And we'll get through it.

♪ ♪

- My mommy.

- ♪ How did you get over to the other side? ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

[mellow music]

- ♪ So if the clouds fall ♪

♪ From the sky ♪

♪ ♪

- Initially, I didn't want to approach

Ali, Aleeah, and Adalynn

with the news that my dad had cancer.

Now that we have more answers and we know what my dad's

treatment plan will look like, and that he told me

he's still committed to his recovery,

I'm ready to have that conversation with my daughters.

- ♪ You've got to learn how to like me ♪

- I wanted to get all the answers

and figure out what was going on.

But, about a month ago, they diagnosed Granddad with cancer.

- Oh.

What type of cancer?

- His kidneys.

He wasn't feeling well.

He wasn't-- - Like throwing up, or, like--

- Yeah, throwing up, trying to use the bathroom,

couldn't use the bathroom.

Because they were worried about it spreading to his colon,

they'd done a biopsy.

And it didn't show results of it

spreading anywhere else, thank God.

- So what are they going to do next for it?

- They're going to do an ablation, where they go in.

They will burn that spot off of his kidney.

And then, he'll just have a treatment plan after that,

to keep checking up, to make sure

it doesn't grow back or spread.

It was very scary.

- Yeah, especially because he just got back.

He just started coming around.

And then, now, he has, or had, or whatever, cancer.

- I know this seems scary,

but I want you guys to know that Granddad's OK.

- Could it have been from, like,

where he didn't, like, really take care of himself?

- Possibly, not going to the doctor, checking up.

And then, you know, when he was taking

the prescription medication, it was pain medication.

So any pain that he could have had

was being masked with that medication.

- So he could have had it, like, forever.

- So he could have been feeling that,

but the medicine was just masking it.

You guys know, the door is open

if you have any questions, if you want to see him,

whatever that might be. - Yeah.

- Whatever you might have on your heart, on your mind,

just let me know.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

- ♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Something in the air now ♪

♪ Can't see it

♪ But I feel it everywhere now ♪

♪ Like a stranger at night ♪

- You got a patch? You want to put on a patch?

The lights are very bright.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Feel it creeping under, under your skin ♪

♪ Growing like a river ♪

♪ Takes me under ♪

- All right, guys, upstairs.

- ♪ Oh ♪

- All right, we got stuff ready for dessert.

- Who all wants chocolate?

How many want chocolate?

- I'll have the chocolate one.

- Isn't this so great, guys, being together?

- I love it.

- Fucking fabulous, Fucking fabulous!

- Are you being sarcastic?

- Not a bit.

- What time is it?

- You don't like us all being together?

- No, why?

- You seem like you're not feeling it.

- You don't seem like--yeah.

- Well, I only got one eye.

I mean, I'm just not the--

I'm just--I'm fine.

- Not the same. - Exactly.

- Yeah, not the same. - Perfect.

- I mean, you're the only one who can change you

from not being the same.

- I didn't say there was a problem with it.

- OK. Can I just say something, please?

- Yes, please, Lord.

- OK, Christy, we're here tonight because we love you.

- Oh, I'm--

- No, no. Sit down!

- Sit down. - Chill.

- Look, I'm-- I ain't doing this.

I am not doing this. - Sit down!

- What's the object now? Now, what is it?

- You don't have to say nothing.

Just don't say nothing. - I'm proud--

- This is ridiculous.

Don't even say nothing else.

- Sit down. - Fucking--

- Relax. - What the fuck, man?

- All we want to do is just, you know,

let you know how we're feeling, you know?

- I'm not here to hurt your feelings or make you mad at me.

I love you. That's why the hell I'm here.

- Everybody knows you ain't living your life right.

That's what everybody knows.

The lifestyle that you live, it ain't sustainable.

It's not healthy for you.

Your mental health ain't healthy.

You got kids and shit. You got people.

You got grandkids.

It's not always about you, and you wallowing

in your own feelings. Life moves on.

You got to move on. - OK.

People get depressed, Jade!

- Yes, but that's why they go get--

- Shit.

- That's why they go get help from somebody

that can help them.

- And everything revolves around drugs with you.

I'm doing drugs. I'm doing drugs.

That's the first thing. It's bullshit.

I'm ready to go.

- Do I think you have a drug problem and substance problem?

Hell, yeah.

Do I think you have a mental health problem?

Absolutely.

I think a lot of your mental health problems

are the reason you go back to substances, yes.

- I'm not on substances! - OK.

- You wouldn't know that.

You don't have nothing much to do with me.

You don't really know what's going on with me.

- OK. - Nothing else is working,

Christy. - I'm done.

- Can you just hear me out? - Fuck this shit.

- I knew this was a waste of damn time.

- This is bullshit, a fucking setup!

- If you're stressed--

if you're stressed out, just hear me!

- We haven't even said nothing!

- Just hear me, you won't hear a fucking word I say!

- I'm not all worked up and upset.

With my mom, there's so many times that I felt like

I didn't say a lot of how I was feeling on the inside,

like emotional, raw feelings, or just standing up for myself.

I very much accept what's going on,

and what kind of choices people make.

I don't have to live like that.

I need to love myself more and put myself first.

I'm an adult. I'm a mother.

I just don't want her choices to impact me anymore,

as much as they used to.

[guitar music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ No strangers to uncertainty ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The seasons where it all goes right ♪

♪ The seasons where it all goes wrong ♪

♪ But I feel like I've known all along ♪

♪ For the rest of forever, it's you and me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ In every direction, you're all I see ♪

♪ ♪

- You have lots of sperm,

but they weren't swimming.

- Oh, my gosh, we just inserted two embryos.

- We're gonna be able to have a video call with Daddy.

I know you wanted to go visit,

but do you understand why we can't do that?

- Yeah.

Hi, Dad.

- Her therapist has some things to discuss with me.

I don't know if this is something that they do

with every child.

- You got real mommy problems.

- Christy, it's the only way... - Fuck!

- We can get you help.

- I can get my own fucking help!

- Take your fucking ass home. - I am!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪