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- ♪ MTV ♪
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- Can you tell me
in your own words
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why you think an
adoption plan might
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00:00:15,896 --> 00:00:17,206
be the right choice for you?
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- We're too young.
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- Hi, baby girl.
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- We're not gonna
see Carly this year.
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- Why?
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- Well, her parents
said this year--
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- Her parents said no.
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- As a birth parent,
it still sucks
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having to be in the mercy
of somebody else's control,
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when all you want to do is
just see your kids together.
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00:00:36,275 --> 00:00:38,206
Theresa just will not
respond to me whatsoever.
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- Well, because--I think it's
because the post you made.
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- Mackenzie, will you marry me?
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[all cheering]
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- The only thing
that we require
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for getting pregnant
with type 1 diabetes
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is having that A1C
number at a 6.5.
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- The risks for IVF hormones
cause high blood sugars.
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Anything could happen to me.
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Anything could happen
to the baby.
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I have four frozen embryos.
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Right now, they're being stored
so we can work on my A1C.
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- You know, I want us to
be one big, happy family.
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- I love you.
- I love you.
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- Holy crap.
29
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- Will you marry me?
30
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- I actually really
will marry you.
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- Amber's new fiancé
is missing.
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- You broke me, because
we were actually in love.
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[sobbing]
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How many people have
I lost in my life?
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- When's the last time
Leah's seen Amber?
36
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- It's been a while.
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- Where was she for
the past seven months?
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I mean, she was working on
that relationship with him.
39
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But here, Leah's been here
the whole entire time.
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- Do you want to see
her more or like--
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- No.
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- 911.
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- We need somebody
to this address fast.
44
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- Today is Bar's arraignment.
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If he doesn't take a deal,
then we go to trial,
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and I have to testify.
47
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Bar ended up pleading not
guilty to all the charges.
48
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- So I think that's a big
bucket of I declare war.
49
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- "Ashley Jones kidnapped,
Bar facing 15 years of prison."
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- Ho.
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So would you reconsider
reaching out?
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- I mean, I could reach out,
and the next thing I know
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she's blasting me online.
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It feels like I thought I would
have gotten pregnant by now.
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- So we go to Vegas.
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- Go to Vegas?
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- And maybe we'll get lucky.
58
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- I'm going to go in the room
and call Ashley.
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- Hello.
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- I wanted to see if you
had any time to meet up.
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[upbeat rock music]
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♪ ♪
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[tense music]
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♪
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[line trilling]
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- Hello?
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- Hey, Ashley. It's Cheyenne.
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How are you?
- I'm good.
69
00:03:08,827 --> 00:03:09,758
How are you?
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- I'm in Vegas.
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To be honest, I have a lot of,
like, anxiety and nervousness
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within, like,
reaching out to Ashley.
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It's Cheyenne.
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I was hoping we could
have a conversation.
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- To be honest, I really don't
have anything to say to you.
76
00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:27,344
But yeah, I think this
is a door that I would
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just like to remain closed.
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- But she has gone through
something that I
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do not want to go through.
80
00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:34,413
I don't want my daughter
to go through it.
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I don't want my sister
to go through it.
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I can reach out
because I'm human.
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I'm a mom. I'm a woman.
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I don't need another reason
other than that.
85
00:03:44,689 --> 00:03:46,896
I know we haven't spoken
in a long time,
86
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:49,103
but I've been looking at
everything that's happening
87
00:03:49,137 --> 00:03:52,206
online with you, and I
felt like checking on you
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00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,965
and checking on Holly.
89
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,241
- Thank you.
90
00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:56,827
It's really big
of you to call me,
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00:03:56,896 --> 00:03:58,758
especially when I'm going
through all of this.
92
00:03:58,827 --> 00:04:00,448
- I'm free today.
93
00:04:00,482 --> 00:04:04,206
If you're free, I wanted to see
if you had any time to meet up.
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00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,620
♪ ♪
95
00:04:06,689 --> 00:04:08,413
- I am.
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00:04:08,517 --> 00:04:09,862
I know a cute place.
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00:04:09,965 --> 00:04:11,689
I'll send you the info.
98
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- OK, just text it to me, and
then I will meet you there.
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00:04:15,724 --> 00:04:17,310
- OK sounds good.
- All right, bye.
100
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:18,275
- OK, bye.
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♪ ♪
102
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- Hey, babe.
I'm leaving you for Ashley.
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00:04:26,862 --> 00:04:29,793
[upbeat music]
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♪ ♪
105
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- You can see that I rolled up
two pieces of paper,
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and that's all.
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00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:46,275
- That looks pretty
cool already.
108
00:04:46,344 --> 00:04:50,206
- So I'm making a cat and
a dragon at the same time.
109
00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:52,793
- I think we need to move all
your art stuff in your room.
110
00:04:52,862 --> 00:04:55,172
- That way you can concentrate.
111
00:04:56,724 --> 00:05:01,241
I wanted to wait
until she was gone.
112
00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:02,758
You heard from Brandon
and Theresa at all?
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00:05:02,862 --> 00:05:04,586
- She finally wrote me.
114
00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:06,275
She was like, you know, the way
that you speak about us online
115
00:05:06,379 --> 00:05:09,689
was very hurtful, so we're
not gonna be responding.
116
00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:13,379
- It was about I feel
this way about it.
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We always express how we
feel about not getting visits.
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I'm gonna share my story.
119
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- Yeah, from my side,
my feeling.
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- And that's all I'm doing.
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If you're not gonna talk
to us no more, respect it.
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But I'm still gonna
be keeping my promise
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that we made to Carly
to send updates and send--
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- Gifts and everything.
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00:05:30,448 --> 00:05:32,758
- --pictures,
and that's what we said.
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00:05:32,827 --> 00:05:34,137
- Personally, I want
to be able to like,
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00:05:34,241 --> 00:05:36,517
you know, send her
birthday presents.
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Because I will do that
every year.
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00:05:38,068 --> 00:05:39,551
I'd be like,
got to go shopping.
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00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:41,241
Want to see what we got her?
- I do.
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I can't wait to see
what you got her.
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00:05:42,862 --> 00:05:44,172
- I've got to put
the pink stuff in it.
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00:05:44,241 --> 00:05:45,344
- Oh.
134
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,793
So every once in a while,
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I would send something
to the house.
136
00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:50,068
Like, one time it was cookies.
137
00:05:50,137 --> 00:05:51,862
One time,
I sent her some flowers.
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00:05:51,931 --> 00:05:53,655
Like, I had this blanket
made with all
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00:05:53,724 --> 00:05:55,137
the pictures from the visit.
140
00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:57,137
Theresa texted Dawn,
and she said,
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00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:59,310
"We do not want them to send
anything else to our house.
142
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It is so out of control
and inappropriate."
143
00:06:01,517 --> 00:06:02,931
- So now no more gifts.
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00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,793
- Once every other week or so,
145
00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:07,137
I've been sending, like,
updates about what we're doing,
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00:06:07,206 --> 00:06:09,275
pictures with the kids,
just, like, random things.
147
00:06:09,344 --> 00:06:11,413
So that way Carly can see,
like, I was continuously
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00:06:11,482 --> 00:06:13,103
sending updates and stuff.
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00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:14,724
And then there was
no response to that.
150
00:06:14,827 --> 00:06:16,620
- But see, OK, what I
don't understand, though,
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00:06:16,689 --> 00:06:18,172
is that some of these
are not delivered.
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[suspenseful music]
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♪ ♪
154
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- Well, if they
don't say delivered,
155
00:06:25,931 --> 00:06:27,241
that means I'm blocked.
156
00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:29,482
- What?
157
00:06:29,586 --> 00:06:31,068
Yeah, she had you blocked.
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00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:34,034
[tense music]
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♪ ♪
160
00:06:37,655 --> 00:06:38,655
We probably should
sit down with Dawn
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00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:40,206
and talk about all this.
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- Oh, I could ask her
if she can get together.
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00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:43,724
Yeah.
- She will.
164
00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:46,448
The fact that you're blocking
without any explanation--
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00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:47,931
and I don't want to even
call it blocking.
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You're closing the adoption.
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00:06:49,103 --> 00:06:50,103
You are closing--
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00:06:50,172 --> 00:06:51,655
- You literally did.
169
00:06:51,724 --> 00:06:54,965
- --the open adoption
with no explanation of why.
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00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,000
[Red Red Lips' "Feel Like"]
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- ♪ Oh, no, no, no
172
00:06:58,275 --> 00:06:59,689
♪ No, no, no, no ♪
173
00:06:59,793 --> 00:07:03,034
♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪
174
00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:04,758
♪ No, no, no, no, no. ♪
175
00:07:04,793 --> 00:07:06,655
- Leah got her first job.
176
00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:08,103
She got the pumpkin patch.
177
00:07:08,172 --> 00:07:10,172
I'm like, Leah, you know
you don't have to work.
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00:07:10,241 --> 00:07:13,413
I mean, she's very responsible,
still a straight-A student.
179
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,827
She's doing her sport.
180
00:07:15,896 --> 00:07:18,517
[crowd cheering]
181
00:07:18,586 --> 00:07:20,241
- ♪ 1, 2, 3, 4 ♪
182
00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:25,586
- So crazy to even think in a
few short months, she'll be 16
183
00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:27,551
and driving herself to school.
184
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:29,551
- I'm studying my pamphlet.
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00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:30,965
- Do they have practice tests?
186
00:07:31,068 --> 00:07:33,793
- Yeah, I could be
driving next week.
187
00:07:35,275 --> 00:07:36,758
How are you going to drive?
188
00:07:36,862 --> 00:07:38,413
Where's that at?
- Straighten out.
189
00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:39,551
Straighten out.
190
00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:41,586
You can't be doing that, baby.
191
00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:43,034
- All right.
192
00:07:43,103 --> 00:07:45,275
I'm actually looking
at some cars online.
193
00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:49,620
It's a 2023 and under warranty.
194
00:07:49,689 --> 00:07:53,413
- But, yeah, I definitely am
on board with her getting a car
195
00:07:53,448 --> 00:07:56,551
and practicing,
getting comfortable with it.
196
00:07:56,620 --> 00:08:00,827
That way, when she does get
out on the roads by herself,
197
00:08:00,896 --> 00:08:02,551
it's not all new to her.
198
00:08:02,655 --> 00:08:04,448
- A foreign car--it's
something she can control.
199
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:05,655
Yeah.
- For sure.
200
00:08:05,724 --> 00:08:08,000
Do we have Amber
a part of that?
201
00:08:08,068 --> 00:08:09,137
- Fuck no.
202
00:08:09,172 --> 00:08:12,034
I've messaged Amber
a few times.
203
00:08:12,137 --> 00:08:14,655
- Once she got with somebody,
it's like she no
204
00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:16,103
longer started communicating.
205
00:08:16,172 --> 00:08:18,862
And so we just all assumed,
OK, yeah, there's a new guy.
206
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:19,896
- That could be part
of the reason
207
00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:21,413
why she's been so distant,
I guess.
208
00:08:21,482 --> 00:08:22,931
A person with
bipolar disorder--
209
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,103
you know, I know they
get up and downs, right?
210
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,310
And when she's up,
she's feeling good.
211
00:08:27,379 --> 00:08:29,551
Like, you know, she might
think everything's perfect
212
00:08:29,655 --> 00:08:31,034
and want things to be
a certain way,
213
00:08:31,137 --> 00:08:33,758
like, oh, I really am sorry,
but now
214
00:08:33,827 --> 00:08:36,344
I want you to instantly forgive
me for years and years
215
00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:38,482
and years of abandonment.
216
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,137
It don't work that way.
217
00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:42,931
I want Leah to have
a relationship with her mother
218
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,275
for the sake of her.
219
00:08:45,344 --> 00:08:50,517
But at this point,
it's really, like, not even--
220
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:52,137
I don't feel like
it's worth it, you know?
221
00:08:52,206 --> 00:08:55,103
[tense music]
222
00:08:55,172 --> 00:09:01,896
♪ ♪
223
00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:03,172
- [knocking]
224
00:09:15,724 --> 00:09:17,586
- Got a call from Amber
recommending
225
00:09:17,689 --> 00:09:20,137
that we bring a pregnancy test.
226
00:09:20,206 --> 00:09:21,310
Let me just get this done.
227
00:09:21,379 --> 00:09:23,655
- Yeah.
228
00:09:23,724 --> 00:09:26,068
♪ ♪
229
00:09:26,103 --> 00:09:27,551
- Maybe I'll offer her to see--
230
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:29,172
I mean, I doubt she'd say yes,
but if she wants me to come
231
00:09:29,241 --> 00:09:30,344
in and chitchat with her.
232
00:09:30,413 --> 00:09:32,724
- Yeah, text her and ask her.
233
00:09:32,827 --> 00:09:35,137
- She said yes.
- Oh, good.
234
00:09:35,206 --> 00:09:38,068
♪ ♪
235
00:09:38,137 --> 00:09:39,137
[knocking]
236
00:09:39,206 --> 00:09:40,931
- Hey, Amber.
237
00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:47,241
♪ ♪
238
00:09:47,275 --> 00:09:49,827
- Hey, how's it going?
239
00:09:49,896 --> 00:09:52,448
- Why?
240
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:59,103
- Wait--
241
00:10:03,068 --> 00:10:05,689
- Oh, man.
242
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,103
- Right.
243
00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:27,172
- ♪ Get away, find adventure ♪
244
00:10:27,241 --> 00:10:31,689
♪ Get away, go together ♪
245
00:10:31,758 --> 00:10:34,482
♪ Find adventure ♪
246
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,413
♪ Oh, let's get away ♪
247
00:10:37,517 --> 00:10:40,137
♪ ♪
248
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,551
- Oh, look at you packing.
249
00:10:41,655 --> 00:10:44,793
- I'm packing last minute.
250
00:10:44,862 --> 00:10:47,655
- I would help you, but
because you hate how I pack--
251
00:10:47,724 --> 00:10:48,724
- You just--
252
00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:50,275
- I am just going to lay here--
253
00:10:50,344 --> 00:10:52,068
- Yeah.
254
00:10:52,137 --> 00:10:54,793
- --and look at your beautiful
face and your beautiful hands.
255
00:10:54,896 --> 00:10:57,724
- My beautiful hand that
finally has a ring on it.
256
00:10:57,827 --> 00:10:58,896
Yeah.
257
00:10:58,931 --> 00:11:00,793
So the kids
are really, really excited
258
00:11:00,862 --> 00:11:02,758
to go be in Oklahoma.
259
00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:05,137
We're going to be
there for four days.
260
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,689
- I'm sad I can't come, though.
261
00:11:06,758 --> 00:11:08,000
- I know.
262
00:11:08,103 --> 00:11:10,103
- But my soccer tournament
goes on till tomorrow.
263
00:11:10,172 --> 00:11:14,275
- This lake house of ours, we
grew up going to every year,
264
00:11:14,344 --> 00:11:15,827
multiple times a year.
265
00:11:15,896 --> 00:11:18,586
And this is, like,
our family thing.
266
00:11:18,655 --> 00:11:21,000
But it was my mom's
favorite place.
267
00:11:21,103 --> 00:11:22,137
- Your dad is probably
super excited to go there.
268
00:11:22,241 --> 00:11:23,965
- So excited.
269
00:11:24,034 --> 00:11:26,034
He's going to meet us there
after work.
270
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:30,068
Are you sure you can't come
and cancel all your stuff?
271
00:11:30,137 --> 00:11:33,793
- If I could,
you know I would, 100%.
272
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,206
But I can't.
273
00:11:35,275 --> 00:11:38,068
You've just got to be
on top of your sugar,
274
00:11:38,137 --> 00:11:40,758
because every time you travel,
it gets rough.
275
00:11:40,827 --> 00:11:43,103
- I'm going to promise you
that I'm going to do
276
00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:46,103
everything I can to
stay on top of my blood sugars
277
00:11:46,137 --> 00:11:47,137
and not be stressed.
278
00:11:47,172 --> 00:11:48,103
I shouldn't be stressed.
279
00:11:48,137 --> 00:11:49,965
This is going to be relaxing.
280
00:11:50,034 --> 00:11:51,827
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, here we go ♪
281
00:11:51,896 --> 00:11:53,103
♪ We're feeling good ♪
282
00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:54,517
♪ We're looking so original ♪
283
00:11:54,586 --> 00:11:55,724
♪ So original ♪
284
00:11:55,793 --> 00:11:57,517
♪ Yeah, yeah, here we go ♪
285
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:58,896
♪ We 'bout to lose control ♪
286
00:11:58,965 --> 00:12:00,310
♪ We can make you
feel so fine ♪
287
00:12:00,413 --> 00:12:02,137
♪ We know how to
have a good time ♪
288
00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:04,793
- Gannon, how many memories
does this bring back?
289
00:12:04,862 --> 00:12:06,793
- ♪ We know how to
have a good time ♪
290
00:12:06,862 --> 00:12:09,482
- Oh, Gannon,
you caught a fish.
291
00:12:09,551 --> 00:12:11,620
- ♪ We know how to
have a good time ♪
292
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,206
[gentle music]
293
00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:16,344
♪ ♪
294
00:12:16,413 --> 00:12:21,448
- So what was supposed to be
such a magical weekend
295
00:12:21,517 --> 00:12:23,586
has taken a turn.
296
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:26,896
My dad was going to
drive himself
297
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,172
and meet us
when he got off work.
298
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,000
He was getting ready,
and somehow,
299
00:12:32,068 --> 00:12:34,448
he had his hunting stuff
in his bedroom.
300
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:35,827
He threw something
across the room,
301
00:12:35,896 --> 00:12:37,931
and it happened to be his thing
with arrows in it.
302
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,689
And some way, somehow
an arrow ricocheted back
303
00:12:41,758 --> 00:12:43,206
and went through his arm.
304
00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:45,413
He screamed for my sister,
and if no one was there,
305
00:12:45,482 --> 00:12:50,206
he would not be...
alive right now.
306
00:12:50,275 --> 00:12:52,137
[sirens wailing]
307
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,689
He went to the hospital,
and we're still trying
308
00:12:54,724 --> 00:12:56,896
to figure out,
how bad is this?
309
00:12:56,965 --> 00:12:59,172
They sent pictures,
and his house looked like
310
00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:01,034
a murder scene had happened.
311
00:13:01,103 --> 00:13:03,758
There was blood everywhere.
312
00:13:03,793 --> 00:13:08,344
And they said he was so white
and had lost so much blood.
313
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:11,068
So my kids are staying here
with my sister Whitney,
314
00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:13,586
and I'm heading
to the hospital.
315
00:13:13,655 --> 00:13:15,655
I really don't want to lose
both parents.
316
00:13:15,724 --> 00:13:20,448
And I--we really
hold on tight to him.
317
00:13:20,482 --> 00:13:23,931
That's all of my mom
that's left.
318
00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:28,724
- ♪ You have to keep me
up all night ♪
319
00:13:28,793 --> 00:13:32,344
♪ Until the morning
hits the sky ♪
320
00:13:32,413 --> 00:13:33,758
- Knock, knock.
321
00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:35,586
Hey, hey, hey, what's going on?
322
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:38,000
- Hey, hey, hey.
323
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,482
- Hey.
324
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,310
Do you want to go
get yourself a snack?
325
00:13:41,379 --> 00:13:44,413
- Yeah.
326
00:13:44,482 --> 00:13:45,448
Are you OK?
327
00:13:45,517 --> 00:13:46,896
- Balance.
My back.
328
00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:48,655
My back.
What's up?
329
00:13:48,758 --> 00:13:52,241
- So I got a call earlier
that Cheyenne's in town,
330
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:57,344
and she wants to meet up for,
like, a drink or a French fry.
331
00:13:57,413 --> 00:14:00,551
- How you feel about that?
332
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:02,758
- I mean, if she's here,
and she wants to have a drink
333
00:14:02,827 --> 00:14:05,172
or two, I'm fine with that.
334
00:14:05,241 --> 00:14:07,758
- I don't even see why you and
her even had a problem at all.
335
00:14:07,827 --> 00:14:09,206
It shouldn't be no--
336
00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:11,965
- It wasn't about her
talking behind my back.
337
00:14:12,034 --> 00:14:16,206
It was the kind of conversation
she engaged in.
338
00:14:16,275 --> 00:14:17,448
- OK.
339
00:14:17,517 --> 00:14:19,413
- And it was very demeaning,
340
00:14:19,482 --> 00:14:22,689
and it was very full of
microaggressions.
341
00:14:22,793 --> 00:14:24,586
- Aggressions--yes, it was.
342
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,724
Absolutely.
343
00:14:25,793 --> 00:14:28,000
- On a very public platform.
344
00:14:28,103 --> 00:14:29,620
- There are certain things
you don't do,
345
00:14:29,689 --> 00:14:31,793
and I was taught that spitting
is one that you don't do.
346
00:14:31,862 --> 00:14:36,310
It's another level of, like,
disgustingness and disrespect.
347
00:14:36,379 --> 00:14:38,965
I'm not gonna invite somebody
just because they're Black.
348
00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:41,206
Like, just because
we're Black doesn't mean
349
00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:42,413
we have to be besties.
350
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,344
I don't know if one day
you're going to flip
351
00:14:44,413 --> 00:14:45,448
and then you're spitting on me.
352
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:46,793
Ash.
353
00:14:46,862 --> 00:14:47,758
I would not feel--
- We were a family.
354
00:14:47,827 --> 00:14:49,172
- --safe.
355
00:14:49,275 --> 00:14:51,137
- Because when Cheyenne
flipped the table on Farrah,
356
00:14:51,172 --> 00:14:53,896
I didn't go nowhere
calling her aggressive.
357
00:14:53,965 --> 00:14:55,103
I didn't do that.
358
00:14:55,172 --> 00:14:56,137
- Yeah.
359
00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:57,448
- Let's talk some fucking fun.
360
00:14:57,517 --> 00:14:59,724
Let's talk some
fucking fun, bitch.
361
00:14:59,827 --> 00:15:04,310
- I'm just in a place
where unnecessary drama
362
00:15:04,379 --> 00:15:06,034
is unnecessary.
363
00:15:06,103 --> 00:15:07,586
- Go with an open heart.
364
00:15:07,655 --> 00:15:09,034
- I am.
365
00:15:09,103 --> 00:15:11,000
- And if it ain't
what you want it to be
366
00:15:11,068 --> 00:15:14,068
or what you're feeling
on any level--
367
00:15:14,172 --> 00:15:15,172
- Right.
368
00:15:15,241 --> 00:15:17,689
- And if it's good vibes,
then embrace it.
369
00:15:17,758 --> 00:15:20,793
But just know when to fold them
and walk away if it isn't.
370
00:15:20,862 --> 00:15:22,793
- We'll see where
all avenues lead.
371
00:15:22,862 --> 00:15:23,931
- Yeah.
372
00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:26,758
[Kepler Beats' "I Know You"]
373
00:15:26,862 --> 00:15:29,793
♪ ♪
374
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:33,551
- I'm not opposed to
working towards a better
375
00:15:33,655 --> 00:15:34,931
relationship with Chey.
376
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,448
♪ ♪
377
00:15:37,551 --> 00:15:42,620
- But we would both just have
to really put in the work.
378
00:15:42,689 --> 00:15:45,551
You have to be equally
accountable for the both roles
379
00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:48,241
you played,
and if people can't do that,
380
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:51,241
then I'm really not interested
in talking to them.
381
00:15:51,275 --> 00:15:55,241
- ♪ Is it insecurity?
382
00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:58,275
♪ Maybe immaturity?
383
00:15:58,344 --> 00:16:00,586
- Hello.
384
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,689
- Welcome to Nevada.
385
00:16:02,758 --> 00:16:07,965
♪ ♪
386
00:16:09,689 --> 00:16:10,827
- ♪ Can't take the slow lane
387
00:16:10,931 --> 00:16:12,517
♪ Break free
from the mundane ♪
388
00:16:12,586 --> 00:16:14,275
♪ 'Cause I belong
in the fast lane ♪
389
00:16:14,344 --> 00:16:16,758
♪ I want to taste adrenaline ♪
390
00:16:16,793 --> 00:16:18,689
♪ Faster and faster
391
00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:20,448
♪ Speed is the only
thing that matters ♪
392
00:16:20,517 --> 00:16:21,448
♪ Such a beautiful disaster ♪
393
00:16:21,517 --> 00:16:22,551
- I think we'll take it.
394
00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:24,241
- OK.
Thank you.
395
00:16:28,275 --> 00:16:31,068
- Look at that.
396
00:16:31,137 --> 00:16:33,103
She's really gonna love it.
397
00:16:33,172 --> 00:16:35,862
- I'm actually parking the car
to hide it behind the shed.
398
00:16:35,931 --> 00:16:37,413
Hopefully, she won't see it.
399
00:16:37,482 --> 00:16:39,931
What we could do is
surprise her with it,
400
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
either just, like, walk
back here, act like--
401
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:44,620
I don't know--
and she sees it chilling here.
402
00:16:44,689 --> 00:16:47,448
- You can have Emily sitting in
it and start honking the horn
403
00:16:47,517 --> 00:16:48,793
as she comes around the corner.
- Yeah.
404
00:16:48,896 --> 00:16:49,862
Hey.
405
00:16:49,931 --> 00:16:51,758
- Oh, my goodness.
406
00:16:51,827 --> 00:16:55,241
It's gonna really hit when
she pulls out the first time
407
00:16:55,310 --> 00:16:57,689
from this driveway by herself.
408
00:16:57,758 --> 00:16:59,724
She is very well
deserving of this.
409
00:16:59,793 --> 00:17:03,034
I mean, everything
that she's been through,
410
00:17:03,068 --> 00:17:06,310
the ups and downs with her mom.
411
00:17:06,379 --> 00:17:10,103
And I think that this gift
from you and I--
412
00:17:10,172 --> 00:17:13,137
- Yeah.
- --to show...
413
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:16,862
her that we love her,
we're here for her and--
414
00:17:16,965 --> 00:17:20,068
mm.
415
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:21,724
- Hey, and you get
to drive it, too.
416
00:17:21,793 --> 00:17:23,206
- It kind of makes me sad,
though,
417
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:25,000
because she's growing up.
418
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:27,517
You know?
419
00:17:27,586 --> 00:17:30,758
I've done all of her
driving since preschool.
420
00:17:30,827 --> 00:17:31,724
- Yeah.
421
00:17:31,827 --> 00:17:34,965
- Gosh, my mama heart.
422
00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:36,000
- Yeah.
423
00:17:36,068 --> 00:17:38,137
[gentle music]
424
00:17:38,206 --> 00:17:42,344
Good job.
425
00:17:42,413 --> 00:17:45,448
[micky.otb's
"We're Not The Same"]
426
00:17:45,517 --> 00:17:49,965
♪ ♪
427
00:17:50,034 --> 00:17:52,310
- ♪ I'm a survivor,
I'm a believer ♪
428
00:17:52,379 --> 00:17:54,344
♪ We're not the same, no ♪
429
00:17:54,379 --> 00:17:55,655
- Hello.
430
00:17:55,689 --> 00:17:57,275
- Welcome to Nevada.
431
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,896
♪ ♪
432
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,965
- I know me reaching out
was probably so random.
433
00:18:02,068 --> 00:18:03,275
- It was.
434
00:18:03,379 --> 00:18:06,724
Can we be genuine or not?
435
00:18:06,793 --> 00:18:07,724
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
436
00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:09,931
This is what I need.
437
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:13,275
- Whatever we have going on
in the past is,
438
00:18:13,379 --> 00:18:15,586
like, this big
compared to like,
439
00:18:15,655 --> 00:18:17,620
what's happening in your life.
- Yeah.
440
00:18:17,724 --> 00:18:19,620
How are you?
- I'm good.
441
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,965
The kids are good.
- Good.
442
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:22,310
- Zach, he works--
443
00:18:22,379 --> 00:18:23,689
he took over my dad's office.
444
00:18:23,758 --> 00:18:25,448
- Oh, nice.
445
00:18:25,551 --> 00:18:28,379
- He's been working a lot, and
we want to have another baby.
446
00:18:28,448 --> 00:18:29,517
- That's exciting.
447
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:30,724
- How are you?
448
00:18:30,793 --> 00:18:33,068
- It's been a lot,
and I know you know.
449
00:18:33,137 --> 00:18:34,551
I know you've been
through public--
450
00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:36,379
- I feel like that's why
I reached out.
451
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,689
It would kind of be like I
would be pretending to be blind
452
00:18:38,758 --> 00:18:40,379
if I pretended
like I didn't know
453
00:18:40,448 --> 00:18:41,482
what was going on with you.
454
00:18:41,551 --> 00:18:43,137
- Yeah.
455
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,344
- And me reaching out, I don't
necessarily want anything
456
00:18:44,413 --> 00:18:46,068
or need anything.
457
00:18:46,137 --> 00:18:48,965
I don't want to add to any
more negativity or ill intent.
458
00:18:49,068 --> 00:18:50,206
- Yeah.
459
00:18:50,275 --> 00:18:51,931
- Like,
that's not my intention.
460
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,517
- I've fought so many battles
behind closed doors,
461
00:18:53,586 --> 00:18:54,724
and I don't want to--
462
00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:56,000
I just don't want
to fight anymore.
463
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,413
- Yeah.
464
00:18:57,448 --> 00:18:58,620
- And I think that's part of
the reason why I'm sitting
465
00:18:58,724 --> 00:18:59,620
here, because it's just like--
466
00:18:59,724 --> 00:19:01,206
- What's the point?
467
00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:02,413
- What is arguing with
you going to do for me?
468
00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:03,482
Like, I'm over it.
469
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:04,586
It's been a long time.
470
00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:06,000
Like, what's next?
471
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,793
- Now, with the charges
that he's facing,
472
00:19:07,862 --> 00:19:09,172
is that you pressing charges
or is that the state?
473
00:19:09,275 --> 00:19:10,896
- State.
- So--
474
00:19:10,965 --> 00:19:12,482
- They never even asked me.
- It's out of your hands.
475
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:14,103
- It's out of my hands.
476
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:17,172
He's been in jail for
domestic violence eight times.
477
00:19:17,275 --> 00:19:18,896
- I hate that.
- Yeah.
478
00:19:18,965 --> 00:19:20,000
- Like, it's not, like,
three times and then
479
00:19:20,068 --> 00:19:21,896
it's like you get a strike
or something.
480
00:19:21,965 --> 00:19:23,206
- I've never went to court.
481
00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:24,793
I've never pressed charges.
482
00:19:24,827 --> 00:19:26,827
I've never wrote a statement.
483
00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:30,241
So it's kind of on me that
he's walked away so many times.
484
00:19:30,310 --> 00:19:31,482
- Why did you choose not to?
485
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:33,482
- I don't know.
- All right.
486
00:19:33,551 --> 00:19:35,206
- I don't want to
be responsible.
487
00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:37,103
And even though
I'm not responsible,
488
00:19:37,172 --> 00:19:40,034
it's hard to get out
of that mindset.
489
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,000
- I've never experienced
an abusive relationship--
490
00:19:43,068 --> 00:19:44,620
- Thank God.
491
00:19:44,689 --> 00:19:47,379
- --whether it's mental or
physical, so I couldn't imagine
492
00:19:47,482 --> 00:19:48,482
going through that.
- Yeah.
493
00:19:48,551 --> 00:19:51,068
- But I just hate
that that's what
494
00:19:51,137 --> 00:19:53,206
you have been experiencing.
495
00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:55,379
- I think when you're in it,
you don't even realize it.
496
00:19:55,448 --> 00:19:57,103
You think it's so normal
that you--
497
00:19:57,172 --> 00:20:00,620
the toxicity, and the language,
and the anger
498
00:20:00,689 --> 00:20:04,827
is so normal that it's just
not something you clock.
499
00:20:04,896 --> 00:20:06,310
It was bad.
500
00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:09,758
And I'm super glad that, like,
we're at a different place.
501
00:20:09,827 --> 00:20:11,103
- Yeah.
502
00:20:11,172 --> 00:20:13,172
- Well, I'm happy
that you're out of it
503
00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:16,206
and that you're able to, like,
step away and realize, like,
504
00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:20,137
what you're worth at the end of
the day and what Holly's worth,
505
00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:22,551
and what Holly deserves,
and what you deserve.
506
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:24,206
- Yeah.
507
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,931
- Who's out here with you,
like, family-wise?
508
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,172
Like, who's--
- My mom, my dad, yeah.
509
00:20:29,275 --> 00:20:30,827
I have some close people.
510
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:32,241
- So you do have support?
511
00:20:32,310 --> 00:20:33,551
- Yeah.
512
00:20:33,655 --> 00:20:35,000
I couldn't do it without them.
513
00:20:35,103 --> 00:20:36,034
- How's school?
514
00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:38,344
- I'm on leave.
- OK.
515
00:20:38,448 --> 00:20:39,931
- I can't keep my
head on straight.
516
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,689
And I appreciate you
for reaching out.
517
00:20:41,793 --> 00:20:45,137
And it makes me think back
to when you went through
518
00:20:45,206 --> 00:20:47,551
what you went through and I
made the comment that I made.
519
00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:54,620
I have a lot of, like, physical
and, like, health problems,
520
00:20:54,689 --> 00:20:56,551
just because the air bags--
521
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:59,137
this boob is, like,
dented at the bottom,
522
00:20:59,206 --> 00:21:02,517
but this one,
the muscle collapsed,
523
00:21:02,586 --> 00:21:04,275
and it hurts so bad.
524
00:21:04,379 --> 00:21:05,275
- OK, let's go.
525
00:21:05,379 --> 00:21:06,655
- All right, I'll see you.
526
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:09,068
- OK.
527
00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:11,965
I said that she got that body
plucked and stuffed and used
528
00:21:12,068 --> 00:21:14,000
that accident as a cover up.
529
00:21:16,206 --> 00:21:19,275
I need to apologize
for that, because now
530
00:21:19,310 --> 00:21:20,758
I'm in your situation.
531
00:21:20,827 --> 00:21:22,758
And it doesn't feel good
to have to relive it
532
00:21:22,827 --> 00:21:26,586
and to have people comment
on it and just--
533
00:21:26,655 --> 00:21:28,793
whatever you felt, like, I
feel like I can relate to that.
534
00:21:28,862 --> 00:21:30,241
And it's just like fuck you.
535
00:21:30,275 --> 00:21:31,827
[laughter]
536
00:21:31,896 --> 00:21:33,068
- Well--
- Like, you know.
537
00:21:33,137 --> 00:21:35,137
- Yeah.
- Honestly.
538
00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:36,206
- I appreciate the apology.
539
00:21:36,275 --> 00:21:37,965
I don't need to go tit for tat.
540
00:21:38,034 --> 00:21:40,448
I think we've both said
and done things that
541
00:21:40,517 --> 00:21:41,413
neither of us liked.
542
00:21:41,517 --> 00:21:42,448
- Yeah, for sure.
543
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,896
- And I can admit that.
544
00:21:43,965 --> 00:21:46,034
And I'm sorry
if I've hurt your feelings
545
00:21:46,103 --> 00:21:48,758
or felt like, you know
in any way--like,
546
00:21:48,793 --> 00:21:51,655
I just think that
that's the past.
547
00:21:51,758 --> 00:21:54,068
I personally don't need to go
down the list of everything.
548
00:21:54,137 --> 00:21:56,724
- No, I don't think
we'd get out of here in time.
549
00:21:56,793 --> 00:21:58,758
- We are allowed
to make mistakes.
550
00:21:58,827 --> 00:22:00,482
- For sure.
551
00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:02,103
- And I think that we're also
allowed to grow from them.
552
00:22:02,172 --> 00:22:03,620
- Yeah.
553
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:05,413
- Do you think in the past
some of your, like,
554
00:22:05,482 --> 00:22:08,241
anger stemmed from like
what you were going
555
00:22:08,310 --> 00:22:09,689
through behind closed doors?
- Of course.
556
00:22:09,793 --> 00:22:11,103
- So then you brought that.
557
00:22:11,172 --> 00:22:12,275
- And recently,
I've just looked back,
558
00:22:12,344 --> 00:22:13,655
like, who the fuck is that?
559
00:22:13,689 --> 00:22:15,206
Like, I'm not that dark.
560
00:22:15,275 --> 00:22:17,034
I'm not that mean.
561
00:22:17,137 --> 00:22:21,137
And it's crazy to say, because
people have only seen one side.
562
00:22:21,206 --> 00:22:22,793
- That has been shown.
- Right.
563
00:22:22,862 --> 00:22:25,206
- But they also see you as,
like, a great mom.
564
00:22:25,275 --> 00:22:26,448
- Yeah.
565
00:22:26,517 --> 00:22:27,724
- I hear what you're saying,
566
00:22:27,793 --> 00:22:29,068
but I would also give
yourself more grace
567
00:22:29,137 --> 00:22:30,551
than what you're allowing.
568
00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:31,689
- Yeah.
569
00:22:31,724 --> 00:22:33,827
- So--well,
I'm happy we talked.
570
00:22:33,862 --> 00:22:35,103
- Likewise.
571
00:22:35,172 --> 00:22:36,620
- Long overdue,
but at the same time--
572
00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:37,965
- Yeah.
- --the timing was--
573
00:22:38,034 --> 00:22:39,241
- Better.
- --what it needed to be.
574
00:22:39,310 --> 00:22:40,275
- Yeah.
575
00:22:40,344 --> 00:22:42,655
- And I'm not far.
576
00:22:42,758 --> 00:22:43,724
I'm around.
577
00:22:43,793 --> 00:22:45,103
- Yeah.
578
00:22:45,172 --> 00:22:46,896
- You know,
if you ever need anything,
579
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,275
or if you ever need someone
to show up just to be there,
580
00:22:50,344 --> 00:22:51,551
I'm around.
- Thanks.
581
00:22:51,655 --> 00:22:53,827
- I'm interested to see
who you are now.
582
00:22:53,862 --> 00:22:55,862
- Girl, me, too. Shit.
583
00:22:55,931 --> 00:22:58,862
[laughter]
584
00:22:58,965 --> 00:23:02,758
We both finding out
at the same time.
585
00:23:02,827 --> 00:23:04,586
[laughter]
586
00:23:08,344 --> 00:23:13,000
- ♪ I can barely hear
the choir sing ♪
587
00:23:13,068 --> 00:23:17,137
♪ And now he's saying ♪
588
00:23:17,206 --> 00:23:20,137
♪ ♪
589
00:23:20,206 --> 00:23:21,344
- Hey.
590
00:23:21,413 --> 00:23:25,310
I'm here in a hotel
where the hospital is.
591
00:23:25,413 --> 00:23:29,034
So kids are with my sisters
at the lake house.
592
00:23:29,103 --> 00:23:30,310
- They haven't seen him yet?
593
00:23:30,379 --> 00:23:31,379
- No.
594
00:23:31,448 --> 00:23:33,413
The kids have not seen my dad.
595
00:23:33,448 --> 00:23:35,034
I wanted to just come
and be alone with him
596
00:23:35,103 --> 00:23:36,413
and make sure he's OK.
597
00:23:36,482 --> 00:23:38,896
Obviously, an arrow
through your arm is bad.
598
00:23:38,965 --> 00:23:40,620
There was a lot
of nerve damage,
599
00:23:40,655 --> 00:23:44,137
but he was able to kind of,
like, wiggle his thumb.
600
00:23:44,206 --> 00:23:47,586
And the fingers
aren't moving yet,
601
00:23:47,620 --> 00:23:50,137
so we're hoping
a miracle happens.
602
00:23:50,206 --> 00:23:51,586
But I'm just happy he's alive.
603
00:23:51,620 --> 00:23:54,413
If he loses a hand,
it is what it is.
604
00:23:54,448 --> 00:23:57,310
My sister was home,
and she saved his life,
605
00:23:57,379 --> 00:23:59,482
because she put a belt around
him to stop the blood.
606
00:23:59,586 --> 00:24:01,241
And the ambulance said
he would have
607
00:24:01,310 --> 00:24:04,172
been dead in three minutes.
608
00:24:04,206 --> 00:24:05,517
- Oh, man.
609
00:24:05,620 --> 00:24:08,517
I just feel so bad
that I wasn't there.
610
00:24:08,586 --> 00:24:11,034
- I am trying to
get my A1C down,
611
00:24:11,137 --> 00:24:13,689
and blood sugars are not good.
612
00:24:13,758 --> 00:24:15,275
And then it's just been ugh.
613
00:24:15,344 --> 00:24:16,275
- Stop stressing.
614
00:24:16,344 --> 00:24:17,448
I'll be there tomorrow.
615
00:24:17,517 --> 00:24:19,000
I'll take all your stress
away.
616
00:24:19,068 --> 00:24:20,241
- [sobbing]
617
00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:23,620
- ♪ Above the water ♪
618
00:24:23,689 --> 00:24:26,827
♪ Under the moon ♪
619
00:24:26,896 --> 00:24:30,103
♪ And one day
we'll stop chasing ♪
620
00:24:30,172 --> 00:24:35,448
♪ After what we once knew ♪
621
00:24:35,517 --> 00:24:37,379
♪ I'm thinking 'bout you ♪
622
00:24:37,448 --> 00:24:39,689
♪ Thinking 'bout me ♪
623
00:24:39,793 --> 00:24:43,034
♪ Thinking 'bout
everything we'll need ♪
624
00:24:43,103 --> 00:24:45,000
♪ To better ourselves ♪
625
00:24:45,034 --> 00:24:47,172
♪ Planting our seeds
626
00:24:47,275 --> 00:24:50,655
♪ We can grow taller
than the trees ♪
627
00:24:50,724 --> 00:24:54,655
♪ I know you see ♪
628
00:24:54,724 --> 00:24:55,655
♪ Oh, I know you still see ♪
629
00:24:55,724 --> 00:24:57,517
- Look at you using your hand.
630
00:24:57,620 --> 00:24:59,620
- It's propped up
on a dead finger.
631
00:24:59,655 --> 00:25:01,724
[laughter]
632
00:25:01,827 --> 00:25:03,206
- Can you move
all your fingers?
633
00:25:03,275 --> 00:25:05,689
- I can move them,
but it hurts.
634
00:25:05,758 --> 00:25:07,206
- Yeah, it's going
to take a while.
635
00:25:16,689 --> 00:25:17,896
- Oh, I'm sure it will.
636
00:25:17,965 --> 00:25:19,448
[laughter]
637
00:25:19,517 --> 00:25:23,413
- ♪ But I know I must ♪
638
00:25:23,482 --> 00:25:27,586
♪ Try to breathe ♪
639
00:25:29,068 --> 00:25:31,068
- Oh, shoot.
No, no.
640
00:25:31,137 --> 00:25:32,758
- I'm your reminder.
641
00:25:32,862 --> 00:25:36,862
♪ ♪
642
00:25:36,931 --> 00:25:39,517
- I've been worried about
my dad's blood sugar all day.
643
00:25:39,586 --> 00:25:42,241
Forgot to worry about mine.
644
00:25:42,344 --> 00:25:45,103
I'm just glad I'm here.
645
00:25:45,206 --> 00:25:48,862
- So the best-case scenario
is him getting out tomorrow.
646
00:25:48,931 --> 00:25:52,000
- The kids will not go home
without seeing him.
647
00:25:52,068 --> 00:25:54,000
- Yeah,
we can't let that happen.
648
00:25:54,068 --> 00:25:56,448
- Well,
I'm so glad you're here.
649
00:25:58,586 --> 00:26:04,310
- ♪ We've been shot
out of the cannon ♪
650
00:26:04,379 --> 00:26:09,724
♪ We've been kicked
off the horse ♪
651
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,724
- How are you?
652
00:26:13,793 --> 00:26:14,793
- It has been too long.
653
00:26:14,896 --> 00:26:16,034
- Sweet girl.
654
00:26:16,103 --> 00:26:20,172
♪ ♪
655
00:26:20,241 --> 00:26:21,275
- Oh.
656
00:26:21,310 --> 00:26:22,344
- It's so great to
be with you guys.
657
00:26:22,413 --> 00:26:23,724
- I know.
658
00:26:23,793 --> 00:26:25,241
When's the last time
we got together?
659
00:26:25,310 --> 00:26:26,413
It's been a while.
- How have you been?
660
00:26:26,482 --> 00:26:27,655
- Good.
- Yeah?
661
00:26:27,758 --> 00:26:29,137
- You guys know
I love what I do.
662
00:26:29,241 --> 00:26:31,827
- I commend you for
even still doing this.
663
00:26:31,931 --> 00:26:33,310
And I really firmly
believe that we
664
00:26:33,413 --> 00:26:37,448
would not have had this many
visits without your mediation.
665
00:26:37,517 --> 00:26:38,448
- Thank you.
666
00:26:38,517 --> 00:26:40,655
I--it means a lot to me.
667
00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:41,620
- Here's your food.
668
00:26:41,689 --> 00:26:43,241
- These are my favorite.
669
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:44,586
Oh, that's my favorite, too.
670
00:26:44,620 --> 00:26:45,793
- Perfect.
671
00:26:45,827 --> 00:26:48,965
- But kind of back to
you guys and your--
672
00:26:49,068 --> 00:26:50,413
the last few months have been--
673
00:26:50,482 --> 00:26:51,551
- Rough.
- --rough.
674
00:26:51,620 --> 00:26:52,551
- Yeah.
675
00:26:52,620 --> 00:26:54,034
- They've been really tough.
676
00:26:54,103 --> 00:26:55,586
- Well, that's kind of
why we wanted to talk.
677
00:26:55,655 --> 00:26:58,103
So how does the
birth parent navigate
678
00:26:58,172 --> 00:26:59,448
going from open to closed?
679
00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:00,758
How do we, like--
680
00:27:00,827 --> 00:27:02,172
- 'Cause it does
feel very closed.
681
00:27:02,206 --> 00:27:03,896
This has brought up
so much PTSD.
682
00:27:03,965 --> 00:27:05,620
I feel like--
I feel like I'm going through
683
00:27:05,689 --> 00:27:06,620
it all over again.
- Yeah.
684
00:27:06,689 --> 00:27:07,724
- Pretty much.
685
00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:08,724
- On the street corner
all over again.
686
00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:09,896
- Yeah.
687
00:27:09,965 --> 00:27:11,413
- There's that cute outfit.
- Hi, baby girl.
688
00:27:11,482 --> 00:27:14,379
[somber music]
689
00:27:14,482 --> 00:27:21,517
♪ ♪
690
00:27:23,034 --> 00:27:24,724
- Now that contact
has been cut off
691
00:27:24,793 --> 00:27:26,482
and I'm blocked,
that does feel like,
692
00:27:26,551 --> 00:27:29,034
to me, that you are putting
a fine line in the sand of,
693
00:27:29,137 --> 00:27:31,206
like, no more.
694
00:27:31,241 --> 00:27:34,034
- What's the difference
between semi-open and open?
695
00:27:34,103 --> 00:27:35,517
- Simply face-to-face contact.
696
00:27:35,551 --> 00:27:37,931
- OK, so we can admit that
it's been open for 14 years.
697
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,517
- Yes.
698
00:27:39,551 --> 00:27:40,862
- And now it's closed, because
now there's no contact,
699
00:27:40,931 --> 00:27:42,103
no sending anything, blocked.
700
00:27:42,172 --> 00:27:43,793
- Yeah.
701
00:27:43,862 --> 00:27:47,000
- Blocking is something
children do, in my opinion.
702
00:27:47,034 --> 00:27:50,862
- Or could it be
that if their opinion is
703
00:27:50,931 --> 00:27:53,379
different than yours,
and they've asked for space,
704
00:27:53,482 --> 00:27:57,000
and they've asked for things to
chill, and it hasn't happened,
705
00:27:57,068 --> 00:28:00,827
then is it the only
alternative that they can see?
706
00:28:00,896 --> 00:28:02,793
And you guys, again,
you have to own the fact
707
00:28:02,896 --> 00:28:04,931
that you have a lot of power.
708
00:28:05,034 --> 00:28:06,482
You have a ton of power.
- I have no power.
709
00:28:06,586 --> 00:28:09,448
- But when you put it out
on the public platform
710
00:28:09,551 --> 00:28:11,413
on social media--
I've read the comments.
711
00:28:11,448 --> 00:28:12,724
You guys have, too.
712
00:28:12,793 --> 00:28:15,000
You know that people just
make up their own narrative.
713
00:28:24,206 --> 00:28:27,931
A lot of hurt happens
when we live our lives
714
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,310
out on social media.
715
00:28:29,379 --> 00:28:31,482
- If it's coming out of Carly
that's not wanting it,
716
00:28:31,586 --> 00:28:33,586
me and Ty have discussed it
and we've said,
717
00:28:33,620 --> 00:28:35,068
like, 100% we would step back.
718
00:28:35,137 --> 00:28:36,793
We would stop everything,
and we would say,
719
00:28:36,862 --> 00:28:38,448
we're here whenever
you want it.
720
00:28:38,482 --> 00:28:40,482
- Is it fair to put
that kind of pressure
721
00:28:40,586 --> 00:28:42,034
on a young teenager?
- No.
722
00:28:42,103 --> 00:28:43,275
- I'm putting it on her mother.
723
00:28:43,379 --> 00:28:45,034
- Her mother to advocate
for her protection.
724
00:28:45,103 --> 00:28:46,586
- Is it causing
her harm or not?
725
00:28:46,655 --> 00:28:48,206
Because if it's coming out
of Brandon and Theresa,
726
00:28:48,275 --> 00:28:50,000
fear and stuff,
whether it be insecurity
727
00:28:50,103 --> 00:28:53,413
or she's getting older and
they're not wanting contact--
728
00:28:53,448 --> 00:28:54,862
I will not stop reaching out.
729
00:28:54,931 --> 00:28:56,413
I will not stop sending her--
730
00:28:56,482 --> 00:28:58,965
I will not do it, Dawn.
731
00:28:59,068 --> 00:29:00,206
I will not.
732
00:29:05,103 --> 00:29:07,413
[The National Parks'
"Summer of Memories"]
733
00:29:07,482 --> 00:29:10,551
♪ ♪
734
00:29:10,655 --> 00:29:14,068
- ♪ Take a moment
and let it all sink in ♪
735
00:29:14,137 --> 00:29:17,724
♪ Like a road trip
this life is ♪
736
00:29:17,793 --> 00:29:19,724
♪ A combination
of destination ♪
737
00:29:19,793 --> 00:29:21,172
♪ And all that's in between ♪
738
00:29:21,206 --> 00:29:22,551
- All done.
739
00:29:22,620 --> 00:29:25,551
- ♪ So let's drive
and see what we see ♪
740
00:29:25,620 --> 00:29:28,551
- Molly,
have some protein.
741
00:29:30,413 --> 00:29:32,068
- Yeah.
742
00:29:32,137 --> 00:29:33,379
Come on, Molly.
743
00:29:33,448 --> 00:29:35,103
♪ ♪
744
00:29:35,172 --> 00:29:36,275
It's cold out here.
745
00:29:36,344 --> 00:29:37,482
- Yeah, it is.
746
00:29:37,586 --> 00:29:40,655
- It's sweater weather.
747
00:29:40,758 --> 00:29:41,724
What is that?
748
00:29:41,793 --> 00:29:44,862
[car horn honking]
749
00:29:44,931 --> 00:29:45,862
It's cold.
750
00:29:45,931 --> 00:29:48,310
[honking continues]
751
00:29:48,413 --> 00:29:49,310
What?
752
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,758
- What is that?
753
00:29:51,827 --> 00:29:53,241
Better keep walking.
754
00:29:53,310 --> 00:29:54,482
- What?
755
00:29:54,551 --> 00:29:55,482
[honking continues]
756
00:29:55,586 --> 00:29:56,482
- Check it out.
757
00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:57,586
- It's all yours.
758
00:29:57,655 --> 00:29:58,620
- Are you serious?
759
00:29:58,655 --> 00:30:00,931
[honking continues]
760
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,448
- ♪ Zoom zoom all of them ♪
761
00:30:02,517 --> 00:30:04,379
♪ How I make them
more than fun ♪
762
00:30:04,482 --> 00:30:07,862
♪ Fun sweet like lemonade--♪
763
00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:09,379
[honking continues]
764
00:30:09,448 --> 00:30:10,896
- All right, Emmy.
765
00:30:10,965 --> 00:30:14,172
♪ ♪
766
00:30:14,275 --> 00:30:15,310
- I love you.
767
00:30:15,379 --> 00:30:17,965
- Thank you.
768
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,241
It has a bow on it.
769
00:30:19,310 --> 00:30:20,241
- Mm-hmm.
770
00:30:20,310 --> 00:30:21,931
- Yeah.
771
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,724
- Yeah, check her out.
772
00:30:24,793 --> 00:30:27,275
♪ ♪
773
00:30:27,344 --> 00:30:28,827
- Bye, guys.
774
00:30:28,931 --> 00:30:29,896
- Bye.
- Bye.
775
00:30:29,965 --> 00:30:32,206
- Mom, I want you with me.
776
00:30:32,275 --> 00:30:35,172
- She can't go
nowhere without me.
777
00:30:35,275 --> 00:30:36,482
We're a pair.
778
00:30:36,517 --> 00:30:37,482
- Get in, loser.
779
00:30:37,517 --> 00:30:39,517
We're going shopping.
780
00:30:39,586 --> 00:30:44,448
- For the longest time,
Leah called me Kristina.
781
00:30:44,517 --> 00:30:50,448
And I would say the last
couple years, it's been Mom.
782
00:30:50,517 --> 00:30:52,413
There was always room
for Amber,
783
00:30:52,482 --> 00:30:56,000
and, you know,
being a mom isn't just
784
00:30:56,103 --> 00:30:58,103
taking them to school,
doing homework,
785
00:30:58,172 --> 00:30:59,413
taking them to appointments.
786
00:30:59,482 --> 00:31:02,379
It's being there
each and every day
787
00:31:02,413 --> 00:31:06,862
through all the troubles and
the happy times, everything.
788
00:31:06,931 --> 00:31:08,310
[Jadea Kelly's "Beauty"]
789
00:31:08,379 --> 00:31:11,241
Whoa, not so fast, killer.
790
00:31:11,275 --> 00:31:13,586
Yeah, straighten it up.
791
00:31:13,655 --> 00:31:18,689
- ♪ Pain it opens
in the dark ♪
792
00:31:18,758 --> 00:31:23,655
♪ I would hold you there
and fall apart ♪
793
00:31:23,724 --> 00:31:26,793
♪ ♪
794
00:31:26,862 --> 00:31:30,172
- The last time I was out here,
I brought you a pregnancy test.
795
00:31:30,241 --> 00:31:31,448
Did you take it?
796
00:31:31,517 --> 00:31:33,344
- No.
797
00:31:33,413 --> 00:31:35,862
I'm good. I'm sorry.
798
00:31:35,896 --> 00:31:37,344
There's been many times
in my life
799
00:31:37,413 --> 00:31:42,827
where I've had to lie in order
to get out of doing things,
800
00:31:42,896 --> 00:31:46,206
because I'm not able to get
ready, get dressed, get--
801
00:31:46,275 --> 00:31:48,206
move around, do anything.
802
00:31:48,275 --> 00:31:51,448
You just lie to people and say,
like, oh, I'm busy, or I'm--
803
00:31:51,551 --> 00:31:55,689
oh, I have this sickness,
or I have--you know, you want
804
00:31:55,758 --> 00:31:57,413
to make up something
to where they're like,
805
00:31:57,517 --> 00:31:59,827
OK, yeah, we're not
going to do anything.
806
00:31:59,896 --> 00:32:01,413
Yeah, you don't have to go out.
807
00:32:01,482 --> 00:32:03,482
Yeah, you don't have to film.
808
00:32:03,586 --> 00:32:06,517
- But you're not pregnant.
809
00:32:06,620 --> 00:32:09,862
- When you start lying
in order to be alone,
810
00:32:09,931 --> 00:32:12,517
that's me in, like,
the darkest, you know?
811
00:32:12,620 --> 00:32:15,310
- How long has it been
since the night
812
00:32:15,379 --> 00:32:16,448
that Gary disappeared?
813
00:32:16,482 --> 00:32:19,620
And are you still heartbroken?
814
00:32:19,655 --> 00:32:20,551
- Oh, I'm--
815
00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:21,931
I'm more than heartbroken.
816
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,551
I'm--
I'm fucked up from what--
817
00:32:24,620 --> 00:32:25,551
what he did to me.
818
00:32:25,620 --> 00:32:27,620
Like, we're talking trauma.
819
00:32:27,689 --> 00:32:29,068
Being told you're a murderer
and thinking
820
00:32:29,137 --> 00:32:32,413
that your fiancé is dead,
I did not sleep for four days.
821
00:32:32,482 --> 00:32:34,000
I did not eat.
822
00:32:34,103 --> 00:32:37,172
I think it was--we're being--
that's just the truth.
823
00:32:37,275 --> 00:32:39,724
When I think about
Leah and James,
824
00:32:39,793 --> 00:32:42,827
I don't know what's
going to happen.
825
00:32:42,931 --> 00:32:44,862
I fought for my son
for four years,
826
00:32:44,965 --> 00:32:47,137
and I still might have lost
him, but I didn't lose him.
827
00:32:47,241 --> 00:32:48,862
- Well--
828
00:32:48,931 --> 00:32:50,517
- Because I kept fighting
after he moved to California,
829
00:32:50,586 --> 00:32:52,137
and kept fighting for my
relationship with him.
830
00:32:52,172 --> 00:32:54,241
And today, I have one.
831
00:32:54,310 --> 00:32:57,275
When my son looks at me with
his beautiful eyes and says,
832
00:32:57,344 --> 00:32:59,689
Mommy, I love you,
like, that's magic.
833
00:32:59,793 --> 00:33:01,517
And then with Leah,
when--you know,
834
00:33:01,551 --> 00:33:03,862
she used to be like that, too.
835
00:33:03,965 --> 00:33:05,620
There's nobody else
in the world
836
00:33:05,689 --> 00:33:07,413
that gives you that feeling.
837
00:33:07,482 --> 00:33:10,310
With my daughter, she
doesn't want to be around me.
838
00:33:10,379 --> 00:33:13,965
I'm understanding right now
that I don't have a choice.
839
00:33:14,034 --> 00:33:17,103
- What's moving forward
for you?
840
00:33:17,172 --> 00:33:19,172
♪ ♪
841
00:33:19,241 --> 00:33:23,310
- Trying to figure out how
842
00:33:23,379 --> 00:33:25,965
I'm going to wait
for my daughter
843
00:33:26,034 --> 00:33:28,620
and not be
844
00:33:28,689 --> 00:33:32,793
a horrifically
depressed person.
845
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:36,103
I've never been a mom
that didn't care.
846
00:33:39,862 --> 00:33:43,689
♪ ♪
847
00:33:43,758 --> 00:33:45,551
- ♪ Trying to get back
to them old days ♪
848
00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:47,103
♪ Get back to them old ways ♪
849
00:33:47,172 --> 00:33:49,448
♪ Get back to the time
I was driving ♪
850
00:33:49,517 --> 00:33:50,827
- Thank you for coming.
851
00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:52,793
You're gorgeous as always,
and I'm so happy
852
00:33:52,862 --> 00:33:53,793
we got to work it out.
853
00:33:53,862 --> 00:33:55,241
- We got to see each other.
854
00:33:55,310 --> 00:33:56,758
- And if you ever
come back, and you
855
00:33:56,827 --> 00:33:59,482
want to go see some
male strippers in thongs
856
00:33:59,551 --> 00:34:00,724
without Zach--
857
00:34:00,793 --> 00:34:02,103
- OK.
858
00:34:02,206 --> 00:34:03,517
- Just, you know,
tell Zach to stay home,
859
00:34:03,586 --> 00:34:04,517
and I'll meet you
at the airport.
860
00:34:04,586 --> 00:34:05,517
- Bye.
- Bye, babe.
861
00:34:05,586 --> 00:34:07,310
Safe travels.
862
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:09,862
♪ ♪
863
00:34:09,931 --> 00:34:12,172
- Hi, babe.
- Hi.
864
00:34:12,241 --> 00:34:15,931
♪ ♪
865
00:34:16,034 --> 00:34:16,931
- How was it?
866
00:34:17,034 --> 00:34:18,379
- It was good.
867
00:34:18,448 --> 00:34:19,862
Like, it's sad to hear
about everything
868
00:34:19,931 --> 00:34:22,310
that was happening with her.
869
00:34:22,413 --> 00:34:23,862
And then we both talked about,
like, even today,
870
00:34:23,931 --> 00:34:27,896
like, we didn't know how
this was going to work as far
871
00:34:27,965 --> 00:34:30,172
as, like, what energy
I was coming with,
872
00:34:30,241 --> 00:34:31,896
what energy she
was coming with.
873
00:34:31,965 --> 00:34:35,000
- There was no malicious
intent behind neither one
874
00:34:35,068 --> 00:34:37,517
of y'all's will to meet up.
875
00:34:37,586 --> 00:34:38,862
- Yeah.
876
00:34:38,931 --> 00:34:42,551
I think that's why
it worked this time.
877
00:34:42,620 --> 00:34:46,931
Overall, it was the right
decision to reach out.
878
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,793
You never know what
someone is going through
879
00:34:48,862 --> 00:34:52,482
behind closed doors,
and I'm not here to judge her.
880
00:34:52,586 --> 00:34:56,275
I hope that we are able
to move forward.
881
00:34:56,344 --> 00:35:03,137
I hope that she continues to
heal for herself and for Holly,
882
00:35:03,206 --> 00:35:07,448
and that the best version of
herself comes out in the end.
883
00:35:07,517 --> 00:35:09,344
[Pink Shark's "How Far"]
884
00:35:09,413 --> 00:35:11,379
- ♪ I want to go for a ride ♪
885
00:35:11,482 --> 00:35:13,310
♪ I want to have a good time ♪
886
00:35:13,379 --> 00:35:15,482
♪ Can't wait to see
what comes next ♪
887
00:35:15,551 --> 00:35:17,965
♪ Maybe I'm a little
obsessed ♪
888
00:35:18,034 --> 00:35:19,241
- All right, babe.
889
00:35:19,310 --> 00:35:22,206
It's time to focus on us
and why we came here,
890
00:35:22,275 --> 00:35:23,965
so let's just have a fun night.
891
00:35:24,034 --> 00:35:25,724
Let's go get another drink.
892
00:35:25,793 --> 00:35:27,896
We can go back to the room.
893
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,724
♪ ♪
894
00:35:29,827 --> 00:35:31,517
Let's go.
895
00:35:31,620 --> 00:35:33,758
- No, not on--no.
896
00:35:33,827 --> 00:35:34,862
Get down.
897
00:35:34,931 --> 00:35:36,724
Oh, my God.
898
00:35:36,827 --> 00:35:38,172
Let's go.
899
00:35:38,206 --> 00:35:39,517
- ♪ This is the best
900
00:35:42,413 --> 00:35:43,620
[Graham Colton's "Got It All"]
901
00:35:43,689 --> 00:35:46,827
- ♪ I've got it all right ♪
902
00:35:46,862 --> 00:35:49,241
♪ Woo, ooh
903
00:35:49,344 --> 00:35:50,827
♪ I've got it all right ♪
904
00:35:50,896 --> 00:35:53,034
♪ I've got it all with you ♪
905
00:35:53,137 --> 00:35:55,758
[all cheering]
906
00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:04,793
- Hey, can you tell Papa that
I said bye and I love you?
907
00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:06,862
- ♪ Clearing out the way ♪
908
00:36:06,931 --> 00:36:09,655
♪ To close the open space ♪
909
00:36:09,724 --> 00:36:10,862
♪ Forever on ♪
910
00:36:10,931 --> 00:36:13,379
- So we're back here
in Florida,
911
00:36:13,448 --> 00:36:15,034
and it's been about a week.
912
00:36:15,103 --> 00:36:16,448
We've settled in.
913
00:36:16,551 --> 00:36:22,034
And as soon as we
get that 6.5 A1C,
914
00:36:22,103 --> 00:36:24,793
we're going to start a
cycle for embryo transfer.
915
00:36:24,896 --> 00:36:28,586
♪ ♪
916
00:36:28,620 --> 00:36:30,931
I really wanted
this Oklahoma trip
917
00:36:31,034 --> 00:36:34,379
to just be, like, relaxing
at the lake with family,
918
00:36:34,448 --> 00:36:36,241
and kind of, like, reset.
919
00:36:36,310 --> 00:36:42,137
It was just a crazy trip, and
I'm just like, OK, what now?
920
00:36:42,206 --> 00:36:47,275
I was at 6.8 before the trip,
so what does it say now?
921
00:36:47,379 --> 00:36:49,655
- You're at 7.0.
922
00:36:49,724 --> 00:36:52,758
[gentle music]
923
00:36:52,827 --> 00:36:54,068
- [groaning]
924
00:36:54,137 --> 00:36:55,931
- And this just puts me
in a bad mood
925
00:36:56,034 --> 00:36:57,758
when I see, like, we get close.
926
00:36:57,827 --> 00:37:00,689
It's like two steps forward
and ten steps back.
927
00:37:00,758 --> 00:37:03,206
And like--
928
00:37:03,275 --> 00:37:05,620
- I mean, you still don't--
you can't be mad,
929
00:37:05,689 --> 00:37:09,137
because you're still--
you just recovered from--
930
00:37:09,172 --> 00:37:10,172
- Well, I am mad.
931
00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:11,965
- --what your dad went through.
932
00:37:12,034 --> 00:37:16,517
- After losing my mom and
now almost losing my dad,
933
00:37:16,551 --> 00:37:19,068
I go to bed with a lot
of anxiety about,
934
00:37:19,137 --> 00:37:21,482
will I have this baby
and this happy family?
935
00:37:21,517 --> 00:37:23,068
It just feels like
I'm never going
936
00:37:23,137 --> 00:37:25,206
to get pregnant, Khesanio.
937
00:37:25,275 --> 00:37:28,000
[sighing]
938
00:37:28,103 --> 00:37:30,931
[tense music]
939
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,655
♪ ♪
940
00:37:34,724 --> 00:37:36,275
- I will not stop reaching out.
941
00:37:36,344 --> 00:37:37,620
I will not stop sending her--
942
00:37:37,689 --> 00:37:39,172
I will not do it, Dawn.
943
00:37:39,206 --> 00:37:40,551
I will not.
944
00:37:40,620 --> 00:37:42,517
- You have invested a lot
in the relationship
945
00:37:42,586 --> 00:37:44,172
that Carly's going to remember.
946
00:37:44,275 --> 00:37:47,551
She can see the efforts,
but also, she's
947
00:37:47,620 --> 00:37:50,379
in a really difficult
position in the middle
948
00:37:50,448 --> 00:37:51,931
of the tug of war.
949
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,482
- Yeah, so how do we--
how do we lessen the--
950
00:37:54,517 --> 00:37:56,172
- The impact--
the negative impact?
951
00:37:56,275 --> 00:37:57,620
both: Yeah.
952
00:37:57,689 --> 00:37:59,413
- Sometimes we have
to take a step back.
953
00:37:59,482 --> 00:38:01,068
- So what?
954
00:38:01,172 --> 00:38:04,241
So you just stay silent and
don't try to reach out until--
955
00:38:04,344 --> 00:38:05,620
who knows?
956
00:38:05,689 --> 00:38:07,068
It could be forever
or it could be--
957
00:38:07,172 --> 00:38:10,275
- I think it's another level
of loss, Cate.
958
00:38:10,344 --> 00:38:11,413
It is.
959
00:38:11,482 --> 00:38:12,758
- That's not fair, Dawn.
960
00:38:12,862 --> 00:38:15,275
- Is loss ever fair?
961
00:38:15,344 --> 00:38:16,310
It isn't.
962
00:38:16,379 --> 00:38:17,310
It's not fair.
963
00:38:17,379 --> 00:38:18,862
You're right.
964
00:38:18,931 --> 00:38:21,000
- Yeah, but I chose
wanting to know information
965
00:38:21,068 --> 00:38:22,172
so I wouldn't have what-ifs.
966
00:38:22,241 --> 00:38:23,620
And here I am.
967
00:38:23,724 --> 00:38:24,931
When it comes to something
that I gave them--
968
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:25,965
- Yeah.
969
00:38:26,034 --> 00:38:29,137
- --that is overly hurtful.
970
00:38:29,206 --> 00:38:31,241
- Yeah, it is.
971
00:38:31,310 --> 00:38:33,655
- And I don't even think
they understand--
972
00:38:33,724 --> 00:38:36,241
- Yeah.
973
00:38:36,344 --> 00:38:37,896
- --what it does.
974
00:38:37,965 --> 00:38:39,034
I'm like, have you guys ever
put yourself in my shoes
975
00:38:39,068 --> 00:38:40,517
and what it's like?
976
00:38:40,586 --> 00:38:42,172
You've never had to
give a child to somebody
977
00:38:42,241 --> 00:38:46,275
and then live with that
for the rest of your life.
978
00:38:46,344 --> 00:38:47,896
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?
979
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,551
Like, it's just not fair.
980
00:38:49,620 --> 00:38:53,517
- Yeah, yeah, and I want you
to know that I hear that,
981
00:38:53,586 --> 00:38:56,724
and I acknowledge your pain,
and I wish so bad
982
00:38:56,827 --> 00:38:58,275
that I could take it away.
983
00:39:00,896 --> 00:39:02,551
You have to figure out
how can you
984
00:39:02,620 --> 00:39:07,413
be the healthiest person in the
midst of a broken relationship.
985
00:39:10,241 --> 00:39:13,172
- What's an appropriate,
you know,
986
00:39:13,275 --> 00:39:15,793
time frame to send something?
987
00:39:15,862 --> 00:39:18,620
- I think the one thing that
we haven't tried, right,
988
00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:21,620
is just a pause--
989
00:39:21,689 --> 00:39:23,689
not forever, just for a time.
990
00:39:23,793 --> 00:39:26,068
Just allow yourself
to take a pause.
991
00:39:26,137 --> 00:39:28,034
We don't know
what tomorrow brings.
992
00:39:28,103 --> 00:39:30,758
We don't know what three months
from now is going to be.
993
00:39:30,827 --> 00:39:32,931
- All right, so we're
just gonna take a pause.
994
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,275
- For me, I'm taking a pause
until initiation happens,
995
00:39:36,379 --> 00:39:37,862
not from me.
996
00:39:40,275 --> 00:39:42,137
- OK.
- Yeah.
997
00:39:42,241 --> 00:39:43,620
- And so, I don't know.
998
00:39:43,689 --> 00:39:44,827
I mean, I feel like
there's not really
999
00:39:44,931 --> 00:39:46,862
any conclusion to this story.
1000
00:39:46,965 --> 00:39:48,758
- There isn't, because
the story's not over.
1001
00:39:48,827 --> 00:39:49,965
[gentle music]
1002
00:39:50,068 --> 00:39:52,310
- ♪ When your heart's
an empty room ♪
1003
00:39:52,413 --> 00:39:55,482
♪ And there's no way
to fill it ♪
1004
00:39:55,551 --> 00:39:57,965
♪ Is the darkness
calling you ♪
1005
00:39:58,034 --> 00:40:01,103
♪ When you've got
tunnel vision? ♪
1006
00:40:01,137 --> 00:40:04,000
♪ In the corners
of your mind ♪
1007
00:40:04,103 --> 00:40:06,793
♪ Is where
the fear is living ♪
1008
00:40:06,896 --> 00:40:10,517
♪ There's something
unforgiving ♪
1009
00:40:10,586 --> 00:40:13,793
♪ I found my horizon ♪
1010
00:40:13,827 --> 00:40:16,655
♪ I found my peace
1011
00:40:16,758 --> 00:40:21,965
♪ I feel the sunrise
shine over me ♪
1012
00:40:22,034 --> 00:40:25,310
♪ 'Cause I'm making changes ♪
1013
00:40:25,379 --> 00:40:29,172
♪ And now I see ♪
1014
00:40:29,275 --> 00:40:33,482
♪ That life has
been good to me ♪
1015
00:40:33,551 --> 00:40:35,896
- Zach?
1016
00:40:35,965 --> 00:40:37,827
You see the line, don't you?
1017
00:40:39,275 --> 00:40:40,965
- There's something there.
1018
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,206
- ♪ Life has been good to me
1019
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:50,413
♪ ♪
1020
00:40:53,103 --> 00:40:54,000
- Next on "Teen Mom:
The Next Chapter"...
1021
00:40:54,103 --> 00:40:55,586
- Who's turning 13?
- Me.
1022
00:40:55,655 --> 00:40:57,413
- I was gonna come down
for Nova's birthday.
1023
00:40:57,482 --> 00:40:58,620
- You could, like,
spend the night here.
1024
00:40:58,689 --> 00:41:01,379
- I'm gonna be on a cruise
for six weeks.
1025
00:41:01,482 --> 00:41:03,793
- Holly, how do you feel?
- Sad.
1026
00:41:03,862 --> 00:41:06,793
- My heart burned for, like,
one second.
1027
00:41:06,862 --> 00:41:08,655
- Ryder has to see
a cardiologist.
1028
00:41:09,482 --> 00:41:10,689
You know that, right?
1029
00:41:10,758 --> 00:41:12,689
- Your doctor said you're
walking long distances.
1030
00:41:12,793 --> 00:41:13,758
Use your wheelchair.
- OK, fine,
1031
00:41:13,827 --> 00:41:15,137
then I just won't go
to the games.
1032
00:41:15,206 --> 00:41:16,758
- You have to think
about your future.
1033
00:41:19,034 --> 00:41:20,896
- She did.
- Ooh.
1034
00:41:22,482 --> 00:41:25,379
[upbeat music]
1035
00:41:25,482 --> 00:41:32,517
♪ ♪
73798
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