Original subtitles

"custodian" - a container for a martyr's body or...

a term used for a janitor at a famous amusement park.

A high school girl was abducted, killed and cemented.

At the end, the four boys who abducted her...

repeatedly beat her, whilst listening to a Kyoko Koizumi song.

# Definitely our idol. #

# Definitely our idol. #

They beat her during the refrain.

Starring: Mikio Osawa

Kaori Shimada

and Ikko Suzuki

Producer: Etsuko Kanno

Associate Producer: Mikihiko Hirata

Cinematography by: Hideo Yamamoto

Lighting by Makoto Okumura

Production Designer: Seishi Yokokura

Art Direction: Kanoko Totoki

Music by Hiroshi Futami

Performed by World Famous

Recording by Takamasa Nakayama

Editing by Terumitsu Okada

Scriptor: Yoshimi Amaike

Assistant Director: Koji Sunagawa

Line Producer: Shinji Komiya

Written & Directed by Ataru Oikawa

That girl... why didn't she try to run away from them?

Maybe she didn't have anywhere else to go.

Or maybe...

she was in love with one of her abductors.

Cemented her in an oil drum and dumped it.

But her body was found.

Even though cemented, a human body still rots.

The reclaimed land where the oil drum was found...

is now a camping ground for families!

What a joke!

Suppose the oil drum with the girl's body in it...

still remains there?

Why are you talking about such a thing?

Let's do it.

Is this what you called for?

Ready? I'm going to kiss you.

My tongue's caught in yours.

My tongue's caught in yours.

You're already as hard as steel!

Must have some room...

Unzip your fly.

Wow, I'm going to eat it.

Deeper! Come into me deeper!

I'm the greatest custodian in the world.

We custodians are warriors who protect that beautiful kingdom.

Trash and dirt are symbols of sorrow.

Before the guests can lay their eyes on ugly trash...

we search and destroy.

If a cigarette butt is thrown 100 metres away, we are ready.

Before the tar and nicotine from the butt...

can stain our kingdom, we are there to eliminate.

I was the greatest custodian in the world, but because...

my sideburns were too long for their standards, I was fired.

Banished from the kingdom, the custodian...

THE BOY MADE IN JAPAN

Tanaka... Tanaka...

It is 23 days since the cat disappeared.

When I think about the cat...

I get worried sick.

Personal Resume

Yamato Tanaka

Spouse: None

No. of dependents: 1 cat

What in the world happened?

I remember almost nothing about that Christmas night.

Mom and dad are living happily now.

Mom frequently calls me.

Mom is overjoyed that her doctor...

now prescribes weaker pills for her depression.

Dad seems to have quit golf, because he has trouble moving his left arm.

As for me...

I've got to find a job.

Have a nice day.

Excuse me... would you move over?

Take one, please.

Thank you very much.

Tissue paper, to bring you happiness.

What is it?

Are you badly in need of tissue paper?

Can I have some tissue paper?

You must be a genius.

Hey, let me try that out for a while.

Think about the happiness you're giving the people.

And hand them out. Right?

I know how it works. Let me.

What an asshole!

What a jerk!

Here, have one.

Not bad, huh?

Why can't you get a job?

Because, I have a criminal record.

A criminal record? What the hell did you do?

Well... I killed my mom and dad.

You're kidding.

You're teasing me.

If it's true, it's awesome.

If it's true, wanna marry me?

Sure, why not... but you're just kidding.

Ah, well, I'm just kidding.

What a bore!

Yes, life's a bore. Let me hand them out, too.

- Why not... it suits you. - Really?

I'll be the world's greatest tissue paper distributor!

Hey, wait!

Step in there and you may never come out.

- I'm back. - Hi.

Come on in. Please come in.

Please come in.

There's a hole in my sock.

You've got big feet.

25cm. Any problems?

- Where's the boss? - He's out.

Great timing. What shall we do?

Have a seat.

Eri, this is Tanaka.

How do you do? Nice to meet you.

Want something to drink?

Yeah, anything will do.

At your service.

# We're always strangers when we meet. #

Kaoru!

Boss went to recruit some girls to take our places.

In front of the station? He sure is persistent.

Itold him he won't have any luck at the station.

This is the parlour.

25,000 yen, plus transportation.

Black lingerie, with 'mission' on top.

Seibu Department Store... in the basement.

Yes, sir. Thanks for calling.

- It's showtime! - Oh! Good luck.

Welcome, sir.

Our customers can choose...

the lingerie colour and uniform of their preference.

'Mission' means 'missionary'.

A nun's habit. It's the most popular one.

It's all our boss's idea.

We do all the high-ranking jobs in the world.

Boss boasts about that.

You have long eye-lashes.

Beretta 935, military type.

I shot once, because a cat was driving me nuts.

You wouldn't believe what happened:

itjumped about three metres in the air, then fell dead.

It was really awesome!

That was cruel.

- You shouldn't shoot cats. - You're... a cat lover?

Don't worry. It died with a pleasant face.

Ifelt as though it would be nice to die from being shot.

You can have that.

Don't be mad at her.

We're getting many more from the Philippines.

Far out! I'll shoot you!

I get a funny urge to pull the trigger.

I might shoot you.

Stop it... I can't jump three metres.

I'm dead.

- See you later. - Good luck! - Thanks.

See ya later, Tanaka.

That hurts!

I'm sorry.

This scar... what is it?

I had an operation.

You know, I have a pace-maker in my heart.

A pace-maker? What's that?

I have an illness called Adams-Stokes Syndrome.

Sometimes my pulse is too fast, or it could be too slow.

If my pulse is too fast...

or too slow...

I could faint.

I'll die, if it's left that way.

So, Iwas reborn as a cyborg!

A gadget about this size is buried in here.

I can't hear it.

The battery has to be changed every seven years.

The battery will be dead soon.

And when the battery dies?

The cyborg dies when the battery dies.

But it's moving OK now?

If it wasn't, I'd be dead.

I guess you're right.

But my heart always beats at the same pace.

It never goes pit-a-pat.

Even when I run with all my might...

or think about a boy I like, my heartbeat's always the same.

My heart is so boring!

# I know better but Ican't help it. #

You run on batteries. Ithink it's really cool!

If you get fed up, dump the battery.

Boss is back!

Welcome back.

- I'm back! - What is this?

We had a hell of a time.

You should keep the place tidy!

Recommended by the Tokyo Government... it's transparent.

Who is this boy?

He's Tanaka... this is our boss.

- Glad to meet you. - How do you do?

What does he want? What's he doing here?

He's looking for work.

Oh, really?

Ithought...

you were fooling around with another homeless guy you'd picked up.

Only one sock.

What a hectic day...

Today, at the place Mr. Kimoto put us in charge of,

some bum was trying to break into his shop.

What the hell are you doing?

We were going to take him to Mr. Kimoto...

but that could be too cruel.

I'm sure you wanna see his face?

Lei-tzu!

- What? - Get me a knife.

Don't move; you'll get hurt.

Where would you like me to shave first, sir?!

You're lucky I found you first.

If Kimoto's goons had found you before me...

they'd have chopped you up and fed you to the dogs.

You'd be dog food! Yeah, dog food.

We can't let that happen to you, huh?

Whatever line of business you're in, you should be...

Ouch!

You made me cut you! Itold you to stay still.

Blood... hey, don't bleed here.

The blood's on me. I hate the sight of blood.

Look at me, I'm all bloody!

Let's eat something!

The bonito's here.

You want to work with us?

Well, have a seat.

I cooked the bonito. Try it, it's good.

It's homemade. Isn't it delicious?

Lei-tzu, what's the name of that spicy meat dish you made?

Hey, did we buy leeks?

Let's all eat!

- What was this? - Zhao-dou-miao.

Sounds like 'chow-for-more'!

- It's delicious. - I'm glad you like it.

She can't resist good-looking men.

What about you, Kaoru? Is he your type, too?

Of course not!

But... he has such beautiful hands.

Take a look at mine.

They're like gorilla hands!

They're a story of my life.

Hey, listen to me...

I used to be bullied about my hands when Iwas a kid.

I hated them and, getting a knife from the house,

Itried to carve my own hands.

Iwanted my hands to look nice. It got all bloody.

My mom saw it and cried for me.

You'd better be good to your mom.

But some women like to be touched by hands like mine.

Compared to mine, your hands are so beautiful.

By the way, are your parents well?

How are your parents?

They're doing well.

Where are they?

- In Sapporo. - Sapporo? How come?

- My father was transferred... - So he's an office worker?

I can tell a lot about people by looking at their hands.

It's not palm-reading.

By looking at how the joints are, or the nails...

Ican tell.

Can you really?

Sure I can.

Then tell me about myself.

Kaoru, why don't we have these hands handle Evian?

Evian? You mean that water?

Open it.

- This is... - It's paint thinner.

Kids in Japan are well-provided for.

I saw it on TV: the poor kids in Moscow sniff gasoline.

They'll go blind sniffing that crap!

It's an easyjob. Try it.

Ithought this was a tissue paper hand-out outfit.

We do all kinds of things, things to make people happy.

Lei-tzu, make some tea.

I'm back! Wow, smells good!

Guess what? I got in the same cab I got before.

The driver remembered me, too.

So romantic! It must be a design of fate.

- Don't you agree? - I agree with you.

- A silver fox. - Plain grey hair. - He's my type!

This is it!

As Iwas telling you before...

What is happiness?

Confronted with tissue paper, people react unnaturally.

Some ignore you...

some can't decide whether to take it or not.

It's no big deal, but they all seem so troubled.

Without war or poverty...

the distinction between happiness and sorrow becomes ambivalent.

In this country, there's very little difference between life and death.

The same thing with right and wrong.

My mom separated flammable and inflammable garbage with a passion.

She looked happiest when she took out the garbage.

Hey.

Wait a minute.

You take it.

Hey, stop it!

Hey!

Wait a minute!

Hey, Itold you to stop!

Young man, I said stop!

Stop! I'll shoot!

I have something to tell you.

There's something Iwant to tell you!

Walk, don't run!

Why are you doing this to me?

What's the matter?

What's wrong with you?

Don't touch me.

Say it.

I'm ready to listen.

Please... do it from behind.

No, it's ticklish! It's much lower.

That feels so good!

It really feels good.

It feels so good, but my heartbeat is the same.

- Wait a minute. - What's the matter?

It felt so slippery.

I started my period. I didn't notice.

He tried to massacre...

his junior high classmates, who bullied him constantly.

To realise his plan, he organised a class reunion.

He prepared three time bombs...

and 12 bottles of beer, injected with poison.

The plan was perfect.

No, he didn't.

The day before the reunion, his mom told on him.

They were supposed to have a toast with the beer.

His classmates were supposed to fall down dead.

Then the time bombs were supposed to go off and blow up,

And then he'd blow himself up with a bomb after that.

His birthday was the day after the reunion...

and he wanted to die on the day before his birthday.

Remember the airline hostess who married Waka-no-hana?

Did you know she used to model for a women's magazine?

A girl I knew used to model with her.

This girl was supposed to become a singer.

But, just before her debut...

she jumped from a 7-storey building and died.

I don't know why.

Cute girls have nowhere to go.

Unless you're ugly, this world is too boring.

If you have it all, you've got to die.

With no war or poverty, what do you live for?

What you see in front of you, built in 1983 and opened in April,

is the fantasy land of your dreams: Tokyo Disneyland.

What's that?

EXCUSE me, excuse me.

Pack lunches and green tea.

Lunches and tea.

Tokaido Bullet Train!

It's warm.

I'm bored. Nothing's fun anymore.

I'm bored!

I'll go catch some fish.

Yes, dear. Be careful.

# They're swimming all over. #

# The seaweeds are laughing. #

# The perfume I have on... #

# always smells like roses. #

A gift for you.

If someone crosses you, shoot.

And if I ask you to, be sure to shoot me.

And if I die, put me out as inflammable garbage.

Pace maker batteries explode, if you burn them.

If you put me out as inflammable garbage,

take out the battery first.

I got it.

Tanaka... Tanaka...

Don't you sell 'that'?

I'll take a bottle.

Thank you.

A custodian must never crouch.

To prevent guests from tripping, we clean the floor with our feet.

Nobody trips as long as they're in our kingdom.

What the hell are you doing?

Cleaning? What the hell is he cleaning this place for?

Hey!

What is it?

What's eating you?

Don't disappoint me, okay?

About what?

You're such a chicken.

You're like a slave in front of boss.

Me? Like a slave?

Hey, you out there!

Airing your mattresses?

Cut it out.

I guess I'm not a good judge of people.

Ithought you'd be more fun.

I'm very sorry I bore you.

Can I have one? I'm starving.

Go ahead.

The meat in it isn't regular meat.

It's regular meat.

Heard about the part-timer who disappeared at the factory?

What about finding her ring in one of these?

Come on! Stop it!

It's good. What're you doing?

Hey, come on! Stop it!

Can't you think of anything exciting?

No matter what, nothing excites you.

# Life is easy... #

# it's easy, it's easy. #

# It's easy... #

# It's easy... #

Excuse me.

Do you have 'that'?

Do you have some in stock?

Let's talk over there.

The car... let's talk in my car.

We should be careful.

It's your turn to be dog food.

We should take him to our office.

What is this?

What is it?

Get rid of it.

Hey...

Already leaving?

- If I stay, I'll be caught. - Where to?

I don't know... I haven't decided yet.

What do Itell boss?

Act as though you don't know anything.

Tell him I'll call.

Are you really going with him?

Why? I don't understand.

He'll be mad at me.

Don't worry about it.

See ya.

The shirt suits you.

Thanks for washing it.

Bye- bye .

Let's go.

Kaoru!

Beretta M92 FS!

A farewell gift. Take it.

Thank you.

You can shoot all you want and kill everybody!

Okay. I'll shoot everybody.

Well... bye-bye.

On a full moon, two monkeys escaped from their cage.

They were lovers.

They were incredibly intelligent.

Walking down the highway, they had their first quarrel.

They disagreed over which convenience store to go into...

even although the two stores carried the same items.

I don't know why they had to quarrel.

Their quarrel ended in the worst way.

At dawn, in front of a convenience store,

the store clerk found the monkeys dead.

The clerk asked the manager...

whether monkeys were flammable garbage...

or inflammable garbage?

Hey, watch this.

What about this?

Ready?

Come on, snake!

Not very active. Let's split.

# I'm a mysterious fairy. #

# At times I go crazy... #

# but I hope you'll forgive me. #

# There's nothing to worry about. #

# The noodle soup is hot. #

Hey, what's the matter?

That's my house.

You lived here?

Is this it?

Are your parents home?

- Shall we try? - Is it okay?

What do you mean, 'is it okay'?!

Suppose the police are here...

Yamato, where were you?

You were absent from school.

What's with you, anyway?

Dear, Yamato has finally come home.

What's wrong with you? Get out! Get out!

What're you doing?

How dare you stare at me?!

You...

What are you doing to your own father?!

You're not my son anymore!

You have no way of understanding how I feel!

You have no way...

Stop it. Nobody's here.

I said, stop it.

What happened to you?

What's the matter? Why are you crying?

Hey, why are you crying?

Hey, what happened to you?

Crybaby!

You have such a bad temper!

Hey...

I'm dead.

Are you all right?

All rig ht?

Don't run away.

Be grateful I'm not the police.

You're lucky.

Want to eat it? I'll peel it for you.

Poor Eri...

the poor girl was arrested.

Lei-tzu, too, was arrested as an illegal resident.

I'll never taste her cooking again.

I can't go back there, either.

I'm on their wanted list now.

By the way...

they don't know about you two yet.

Those assholes think I did it.

Isn't this terrible?

You left this behind.

Don't think you can get away from me.

Personal Resume

Boss... we don't...

Are you eating regularly?

Come on. Eat it.

You...!

This is no toy! Don't you have any common sense?!

What do you intend to do? Have you gone mad?

Shall I empty your head, so you won't have any funny ideas?

Shall I make it a bit breezy?

Stop it! Please don't!

Please don't do it!

Come with me.

I'll get you out of this.

I'll find a place where you two can live.

Don't be rash.

Calm down. Calm down.

Anyway, come with me.

It'll be all right.

You can trust me.

I guarantee Iwon't let you down.

After all... we're like a family.

Family?

Yes, we're a family.

That's dangerous. Don't shoot...

Let's go. Let's go!

Wait, damn it!

You bastard...

Who are you?

All right? Has it stopped bleeding?

Yes. I'm all right.

Just a little stab wound.

Let me see...

I've got the period!

Do you think boss is dead?

What would news-caster Tatsuya Chikushi say about us?

"A man and a woman handing out tissue paper killed their boss."

That sounds tasteless.

'Start anew'? Start what anew?

Start everything anew.

I'm out of cigarettes.

Aren't there any around?

I'll go buy some for you.

Want something to drink?

- Coffee. - I got it.

Come back quickly. Something scares me.

Iwas thinking about our future.

My heart beat so fast!

It can't. You're a cyborg.

Ithought of a great hiding place.

Where's that?

There...

The place where you used to work at.

That's one place nobody can find us.

You're nuts!

What is it?

Playing dead again?

Come on... wake up.

English translation by Jeanette Amano

Subs ripped & retimed for ADC by Lord Retsudo