All language subtitles for Phileine.Says.Sorry.2003
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1
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,320
www.titlovi.com
2
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:31,200
At last the day dawned
when I was happy with myself...
3
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:32,840
...and everything I did.
4
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,720
It was a hot evening...
5
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:38,480
...and I was lying in the park
near my house...
6
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:45,520
...with Max, a cute and toe curling guy.
I was happy with myself and with us.
7
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:50,240
We did a test to find out
what kind of woman I was.
8
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,080
I was the One.
9
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,240
You're the One, Phileine!
10
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,680
Okay, I admit it. I am.
11
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:02,320
You're the sunshine of my life.
To be happy, I need you.
12
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,240
I think you're sweet too.
13
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,640
I have something to tell you...
14
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,520
I hate it when people say that!
15
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,880
Here we go again, I think.
Nothing ever stays the same.
16
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,920
It's all doomed to decay. It always is.
17
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:28,200
Happiness is a warm gun. It can blast
your head off at any moment.
18
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,000
I'm such a wimp.
19
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,240
Shut up, Phileine!
20
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,440
Don't cry. He's just a boy!
21
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,120
Phileine says Sorry
22
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,080
Phileine?
23
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,720
TWO MONTHS EARLIER
24
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,200
I've something to tell you.
25
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,480
I love you.
26
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,640
- But?
- But I have to go now.
27
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,760
I can't let my best friend down.
28
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,440
It's his birthday. Come along too.
29
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,040
You go. Don't think of me.
30
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,640
Let me rot in my sickbed.
31
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,160
As always, this story started
with my generosity.
32
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,200
Dying of fever, 98.7 degrees...
33
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:09,440
...I let Dylan, my Everything back then,
go to his best friend's party.
34
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,920
- He couldn't wait...
- You're sure?
35
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,920
...to leave me.
36
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,800
My intuition rang alarm bells...
37
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,680
...so I decided to hit the party anyway.
38
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,440
I came late so Dylan would be
drunk and satisfied...
39
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,040
...and it would be easier
for me to beat him up.
40
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,960
Phileine! Cocksucker!
41
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,720
- Party Pussy!
- Fleur! Sperm Bag!
42
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,080
Everyone was wasted...
43
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,560
- We want to fuck!
- ... apart from Dylan...
44
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,920
- He's not here?
- ... who wasn't there.
45
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,880
No, and he didn't even call!
46
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,600
You're his girlfriend. Where is he?
47
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:25,960
Listen, Bog brush, if you want to know
ask him! I'm no babysitter.
48
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:29,000
- He's my best friend.
- No kidding!
49
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:45,120
- See, he's home.
- And he's not alone, either.
50
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,240
Don't do it, maniac!
51
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,600
I'm an angry young woman,
so no one'll mind.
52
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:09,560
It's post-adolescent hormonal aggression!
Crime passionel!
53
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,360
Christ, she's just out of primary school!
54
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,400
Child porn!
55
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:55,200
- What's all this?
- We zapped you to Drenthe!
56
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,960
That's a province.
You're lucky to be alive.
57
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,800
You're a province!
58
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,560
- You're not funny.
- You steal our jokes.
59
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,360
Purile Platypus!
60
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,120
- Do you ever praise people?
- We tolerate some.
61
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,080
Your looks don't matter.
62
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:27,600
- Who cares if that's your head or a balloon.
- We want your insights!
63
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,680
- Your motivation...
- Your moral values, etc.
64
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,640
We found out that
hideously ugly people like you...
65
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:39,800
...often think longer and deeper
about the meaning of life than us.
66
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:46,480
Can we expect a fascinating riposte?
67
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,840
D'you come here often?
68
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,720
To birthday parties?
69
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:55,800
I don't think you quite get it. You can
compensate for your physical defects.
70
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,040
- What d'you want?
- Last chance...
71
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:03,240
What were you thinking
before we came over?
72
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,440
Nothing really.
73
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,520
- Sorry.
- Oh God!
74
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,240
- What did you say?
- He really said it.
75
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,280
Sorry?
76
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,280
Filthy bastard!
77
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,200
If you'd said anything else
you could've fucked me tonight.
78
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,600
- Me too!
- And even me.
79
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,600
- We feel charitable.
- And want to see your dick.
80
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,520
There's only one thing worse
than an ugly bastard.
81
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:40,920
- What's that?
- One without a sparkling personality.
82
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,240
Like you.
83
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:49,880
- Great, another poor boy's soul dashed.
- Bitches...
84
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,800
- Phileine? Where's Phileine?
- Where am I?
85
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,200
- Where were you, clap head!?
- Dylan, stop it!
86
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,720
How 'bout a drink?
87
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,960
I know he's your best friend...
88
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,600
...but a good host would've
beaten him up for me.
89
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,280
Worst of all: I don't like singles.
And now I'm one.
90
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,200
Wild him!
91
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,800
- What do they want?
- I have to "wild" you.
92
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,160
It's the opposite of "tame".
93
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,560
Let's cut the crap.
94
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,840
I feel like sex at first sight.
95
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,160
This must be every boy's wet dream.
96
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,800
- You don't have to...
- Leave me be...
97
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,880
I just want to say that
Dylan was a real prick.
98
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,000
- You can't do things like that.
- How sweet.
99
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,480
But not now, okay?
100
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,560
PHILEINE WITH A HARD ON
101
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,320
Okay, I admit it. I am the One.
102
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,800
- Never a dull moment.
- Right.
103
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,240
You're the sunshine of my life.
Irreplaceable.
104
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,000
I think you're sweet too.
105
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,400
I have something to tell you.
106
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,400
I'm moving to New York for a year.
107
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,800
A year?
108
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,680
Yes.
109
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,480
To New York?
110
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,400
That's a long time.
111
00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:01,600
It's a special project at drama school
with just a few foreign students.
112
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:07,200
It's a once in a lifetime chance.
I have to go.
113
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,520
All Shakespeare's plays...
114
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,320
...with different guest directors...
115
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,560
...all really famous.
116
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,400
I don't like theatre.
117
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:21,000
You're not the reason
I want to study in New York.
118
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,920
That's just it, reptile face!
Did you...
119
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,080
Did you think about me?
120
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,600
I didn't think about
anything else recently.
121
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,040
Oh God, another boy
sobbing on my shoulder.
122
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,640
Can't these guys stop crying?
123
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,480
There we were...
124
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:32,000
...two happy people losing
each other, god damn it!
125
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,920
Well that's that. Can we go now?
126
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,080
You girls want a ride to Utrecht?
127
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,880
Bye, Max.
128
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,560
- We'll take Fleur home.
- You're home already?!
129
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,080
Bye...
130
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,400
- Practicing safe sex, Mommy?
- What's that, child?
131
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,080
They must be yours.
132
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:18,680
Last time I used a condom,
dinosaurs still roamed the planet.
133
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,920
So those condoms must belong
to you and Daddy. Right, Mom?
134
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,840
How about my allowance?
135
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,999
- Only if you promise to use a condom...
- When I fuck?
136
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,080
Yes, excuse your French.
137
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:39,200
She pays the rent, so thinks
she has a right to a key.
138
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:44,440
Officially to keep an eye on me.
In reality, to adulterate with her lovers.
139
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,960
My money, Mommy!
140
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,720
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
141
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:06,000
- And? How's Max?
- Fine. He just left.
142
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:10,760
- He seemed such a nice boy.
- He went to New York, remember?
143
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,360
- Shakespeare?
- Yes, that was it. That's nice.
144
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,080
I lose my one true love
and you call that "nice"?
145
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,800
He's your one true love?
146
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,760
My daughter's in love. How touching.
147
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,280
I'm NOT in love!
148
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,320
Problem solved!
149
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:40,120
I just want you to know there are two
kinds of fidelity in a relationship...
150
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,360
...love fidelity and sex fidelity.
151
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:47,360
Your father gives me
love, depth and peace...
152
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:54,040
...and Antonio, Anand, Costas and
Mustapha help me crease the sheets.
153
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:59,320
For those moments in life
when the underbelly conquers the brains.
154
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,520
When euphoria, ecstasy, despair...
155
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,120
See you soon!
156
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,880
Bye dear.
157
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,320
Bye darling!
158
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,600
I don't like it when
other people have sex.
159
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,640
I should be the only one to enjoy life.
160
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,480
THREE MONTHS LATER
161
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THE NEW CELIBATES
162
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,880
Shut up with your childish sex noise!
163
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,640
Grow up. Lala!
164
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:36,640
Listen. I flew all this way to see
my Max, so don't get in my way.
165
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,320
Just say so. Ninth floor, last door.
166
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,520
Only joking. You can laugh.
167
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,160
You speak Dutch, don't you?
168
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,680
That was me.
169
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,800
That's how I met Crotch Gobbelaer...
170
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,920
...ex-Miss Belgium sent
to New York by her daddy...
171
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,640
...to study economics,
marry and never have to work.
172
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,320
I can't shake hands...
173
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:28,600
This is supposed to make
your nails longer and healthier.
174
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,000
Thank you for sharing that!
175
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,960
It's one of the few things
this four-eyed mule taught me.
176
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,760
Being inferior doesn't mean
you're not dumb and ugly, girl!
177
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:59,440
- So you're a friend of Max?
- I'm his girlfriend.
178
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:04,040
- Does he know you're coming?
- No.
179
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,840
I was afraid of that.
180
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,400
Romeo!
181
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:32,680
Phileine?
182
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,560
I was in the neighborhood.
183
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,880
- Why didn't you call?
- You're really pleased to see me!
184
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,200
All the truckers I sucked for the ticket!
185
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:48,080
Bullshit. Your mother paid for it.
186
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,440
What if she hadn't?
187
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,760
That would have been terrible, yes.
188
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,080
You're still brains, beauty, beast, best...
189
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,000
I quite like you too.
190
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,960
Come and lie down beside me.
191
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,480
Feelings are never hypocritical.
192
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,760
I should be mad at his cool reception.
193
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,160
But I feel like a deserted bitch
on heat...
194
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,880
...wagging her tail
as soon as her boss comes in.
195
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,640
Girl...
196
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,320
I missed you.
197
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,800
I really missed you.
198
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,520
You have no idea how much I missed you.
199
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,320
No, I really missed you.
200
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,680
Great, we missed each other.
201
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,880
You know what I thought
About on the plane?
202
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,240
- No?
- I thought: when I see Max...
203
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,440
...I'll rip off his clothes...
204
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:26,360
...I'll get his dick so hard
he faints from anemia...
205
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,640
...I'll squeeze my labia
round his loaded gun...
206
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,440
...and cunt-suck him till
he shoots me across the bed.
207
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,160
But I changed my mind.
208
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,200
It's nice to have a cuddle, though.
209
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,560
I can't stand the word cuddle.
210
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,720
Maybe I don't feel like hard-core work sex.
211
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,680
The ancient Chinese had a better term.
212
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,440
Phileine...
213
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:11,800
...let's make Rain and Wind together.
I've been looking forward to it.
214
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,080
That's why I love Max so.
215
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:20,440
"Making Rain and Wind". That gets me
so excited, I don't care who knows.
216
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:40,760
Shit, my party.
217
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,080
- Party?
- For my acting class.
218
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,400
Consider it a welcome party.
219
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:23,840
Apart from Crotch Gobbelaer and
the Man with the Scratched Back...
220
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:28,000
...I knew no one, so it was time
to meet his roommates.
221
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,600
Apart from Jules...
222
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,720
...here in our cosy condo pondo...
223
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,160
...we have Leonard.
224
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:40,520
- You mean that excavated mummy?
- He's a bit sick.
225
00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:44,520
- What's he got?
- A cold. He'll get over it.
226
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,520
Conspicuous by his absence...
227
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:50,400
...was Reginald.
228
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,600
Who's Reginald?
229
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:57,160
He's an Argentinian American
of French-Canadian descent.
230
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,080
A real Rimbaudian artist.
231
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:05,360
An inspired thinker, a culture vulture,
free of rusty ideas, addicted to the age.
232
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,040
A wild theatre film music
dance fashion maker...
233
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:13,120
- ... who surfs his versatile soul.
- So he's ugly!
234
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,960
No, he's my director.
235
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,520
Who's the Barbie doll?
236
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:25,600
LT, it's a childish American habit
to turn initials into an acronym.
237
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,480
LT is standby weatherman for CBS.
238
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:33,640
But his big breakthrough is coming,
he's claimed for eight years.
239
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,800
And just when I thought I'd met
all Max's New York crowd...
240
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,520
- Romeo!
- She came in.
241
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,040
Joanne!
242
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,760
Joanne, the standby weatherman's
steady girlfriend.
243
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:55,800
She thinks she's a great actress but
can't hold a cucumber in a porn movie.
244
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,680
Why are actors and actresses so awful?
245
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:11,880
- Phileine, have you met Joanne?
- No.
246
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,120
So you're stage mates?
247
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,360
- It's Shakespeare!
- Great. What play?
248
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,000
What's the matter?
249
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:19,600
Good question.
250
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,880
Tired, jetlagged, groggy, drunk.
251
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,400
Just leave me be.
252
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,000
You have something to tell me?
253
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:42,800
No...
254
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,280
I have nothing to tell you.
255
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:51,080
But?
256
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,960
I have to get back to my guests.
257
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,960
Hello New York!
I came, I saw, I came...
258
00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:59,880
...and fell asleep.
259
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,360
Phileine, shall we go out for lunch?
260
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,720
Despite being a social animal, a gnu...
261
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,440
...my intuition told me
I was needed elsewhere.
262
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,560
Hey, Party Pussy!
263
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:14,880
Phileine! Great!
264
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,360
Quiet, they're rehearsing.
265
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:22,160
- What are you doing here?
- I came with Christian.
266
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,400
How come?
267
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,480
He's making a documentary about Max.
It's going great!
268
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:33,960
I'm so glad...
269
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,680
...that Max invited you after all.
270
00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:02,240
I wondered why you invited Lala and
not me, but I guess this is your answer!
271
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:06,400
It's not what you think, Phileine.
We're only... Christ!
272
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,280
- What's this?
- Rehearsing.
273
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,640
Still don't know your lines,
dyslectic lapdogs?
274
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,280
- Some other time?
- No.
275
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,880
You try to keep your
one true love at a distance.
276
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:21,320
But invite half Utrecht to drool
over your new-found love on stage!
277
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,080
What am I to think?
Good question, eh?
278
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:30,840
Phileine, go home. Really, please!
I'll see you tonight.
279
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:43,280
You're even uglier, paler,
smaller and punier than I expected.
280
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,160
Give me drama, Max!
281
00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:00,040
- He can direct your acting, not your life!
- Acting is my life!
282
00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:21,840
Cheer up! I found
a blonde bosom buddy. So enjoy!
283
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,160
What else can a girl do
with a play actor friend?
284
00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:44,640
See those horny eyes squirting at us!
285
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,720
Oh them: the illustrious
duo Fuck and Suck.
286
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:54,440
- I see them here all the time.
- Jerking off under the table.
287
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:58,000
- Fuck is quite something.
- No, that's Suck.
288
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,480
He licks his top lip as he laughs,
you just watch.
289
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:09,800
Watching them, I know
we're better off as girls.
290
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,040
Us women can always jazz it.
That's the difference.
291
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,000
- Jazz it?
- Jazz, fuck, shag.
292
00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:22,040
My aberration, dear Kitty, is that
I love discussing sex with girlfriends.
293
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,600
Preferably vulgar.
294
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:28,720
I love girls talking about jazzing,
trouser snakes and poking the fire...
295
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,760
- I'll have to learn to live with it.
- Crotch?
296
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,920
Did you notice anything about
Max and Joanne?
297
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,680
Apart from him fucking her blind, no.
What d'you mean?
298
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,720
- You think he's cheating on you?
- I only asked.
299
00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:48,560
He's always rehearsing.
300
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,680
You haven't caught him switch-bitching?
301
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,000
Never felt the urge?
302
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,000
With Max?
303
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,000
Oh God, a pass...
304
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,760
Very good. Now get lost.
305
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,200
Yes, we just happen to be wonderful.
306
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:53,680
Crotch and I are inseparable,
but she had classes uptown...
307
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:57,040
...so I could focus on
more important things.
308
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:15,160
Also present, is Romeo's girl friend.
How do you feel?
309
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,240
A good way to ruin my career!
310
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,120
- Did I see an erection?
- My future's at stake!
311
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:27,640
- I saw it.
- It wasn't me!
312
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,280
- Who was it?
- Romeo.
313
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:33,360
- So Romeo had an erection?!
- Yes. If you cared about my work...
314
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:37,840
...you'd know that my body
is my tool. It's all I have!
315
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:53,400
Why didn't you just tell me
what you were up to?
316
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:55,600
I wanted to...
317
00:40:55,760 --> 00:41:00,800
...but Reginald said it'd be more
shocking and exciting if I didn't.
318
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:07,240
So you fingered her pussy
just to shock and excite me?
319
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,600
Yes.
320
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,480
I really don't understand this world.
321
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,120
It's all fiction...
322
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,800
Fiction...
323
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:20,840
Nothing but fiction.
324
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,520
What do you make of this?
325
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:32,880
Quarrelling is nice, but so is making up.
326
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,960
Amazing, it still works.
Or is that fiction too?
327
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:45,600
Phileine...
328
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:52,360
Can't I blow your peace-pipe?
- I'm a bit fed up with sex.
329
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,640
Can't we just have a cuddle?
330
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:03,360
Suddenly the word cuddle
doesn't sound so dumb.
331
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:09,520
- I'm glad you took it so well in the end.
- Me too...
332
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,240
I'll feel a lot better tomorrow
knowing you've accepted it.
333
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:14,760
Tomorrow?
334
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,240
Yes. At the premi�©re.
335
00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:19,720
Of what?
336
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:22,040
Didn't I tell you?
337
00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:25,080
No.
338
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,840
Tomorrow's the premi�©re.
339
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,960
We open the Shakespeare Festival.
Everyone's coming.
340
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,080
- I thought I told you.
- No, Max.
341
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:42,920
You didn't tell me!
342
00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:48,080
Sorry...
343
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,000
As I said, feelings are never hypocritical.
344
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:56,520
Phileine, how should I put it.
She was a She Devil.
345
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,120
A ravishing chick.
346
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:06,400
I remember she punched her former
boy friend Max on the nose in New York.
347
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,120
Phileine was like that.
348
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:14,400
She was so upset,
she punched me on the nose.
349
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:16,240
Bulls eye!
350
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:21,160
I never understood the relationship
between Phileine and Max.
351
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,600
In the hospital, they used tampons
to stop the bleeding.
352
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:29,880
Basically
Phileine was her own worst enemy.
353
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,480
She was hard on herself.
354
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:35,520
We made up in the hospital room.
355
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,800
She said, while the doctor was at work:-
356
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,960
"Max, life is a nose...
357
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,280
"You have to squeeze out all you can. "
358
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,480
That gave us the giggles.
359
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:54,040
Phileine was the funniest
girl friend I ever had.
360
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,000
At least, she thought so.
361
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,400
She thought so?
362
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,160
How's your nose?
363
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,800
- Shouldn't you say something?
- What?
364
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,280
How about Sorry?
365
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:34,120
Sorry I hit you so hard
you can't perform tonight.
366
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:41,200
You never say Sorry, do you?
Never admit your mistake.
367
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,640
It's always someone else.
368
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:49,160
- I've had enough of you.
- Impossible. I never gave you anything!
369
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:51,880
Give me my coat.
370
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:56,800
- Sit down. Come on.
- No! I can't be late for Reginald.
371
00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:00,160
We were so bad,
we have a penal rehearsal.
372
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,120
- We didn't go far enough.
- Not far enough?!
373
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:05,920
- Because you upset Joanne so much.
- Good!
374
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,760
- She's so insecure!
- It's her boring tits!
375
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:10,680
Shut up!
376
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:15,280
I've no sympathy for your soul mate.
377
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:23,400
Phileine thinks she can
get away with anything!
378
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,200
Kiss!
379
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,000
Where have you been?
380
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,520
Jules isn't a man, is she?
381
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,800
- Hello.
- Isn't Lala here?
382
00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,880
She's having a shower.
383
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:04,360
In the hall.
384
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,120
Very quaint, a slum hotel.
385
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,360
How did you like the rehearsal?
386
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:44,560
Must be difficult shooting all those dicks?
387
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,960
We don't have to talk, Phileine.
388
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,560
- Darling.
- Sperm Bag!
389
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,120
What brought you here?
390
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:04,760
A taxi. I was talking to Christian
and wondered...
391
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,800
...why he wasn't at
today's penal rehearsal.
392
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:12,360
- Reginald and I weren't impressed.
- Why didn't you tell me?
393
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:15,000
You didn't want to talk, Christian!
394
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,520
Sorry, sugar. I have to go.
395
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:23,520
Shall we go out for dinner?
396
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:26,480
Or we'll have nothing to puke
at the premi�©re.
397
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:29,440
I don't know. We have to cut back.
398
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,080
Yes, so I see.
399
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:35,680
We hope to buy an apartment together.
400
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:44,440
After three months you're tying the knot
with this quasi-artistic Christian?
401
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,400
...I'd say,
if I didn't know I shouldn't.
402
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,160
Nice...
403
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,080
Why are you here?
404
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,880
I suddenly realised
we haven't seen each other that much.
405
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:02,120
I see you in New York
more often than in Utrecht.
406
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:06,400
I wanted to get to know Christian a bit.
That took time.
407
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:11,800
Now that you know him a bit...
408
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:15,680
...can we spend some time together?
409
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:17,920
I miss you...
410
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:21,800
...a bit.
411
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:30,400
You know, Phileine...
412
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:37,960
Friendship is a bond but...
413
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:41,280
...love is a bond too.
414
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:46,880
Genetically, I can only maintain
one bond at the time and...
415
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:52,960
...love is a stronger bond.
416
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:21,000
Lesson one: Never show your feelings.
417
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:52,560
There's always something.
418
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,120
I feel like cuddling this rhesus monkey.
419
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:49,840
Fortunately there's always
the Flemish party bitch...
420
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,280
...the Crotch!
421
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,560
How do you suck cock?
422
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:11,520
- Do you rotate your tongue?
- I think so.
423
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:13,320
Not a good idea.
424
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:16,720
I was giving a guy head...
425
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:19,040
...and then I decided to go mad.
426
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:22,960
I spun my tongue on his dick,
sure he'd love it.
427
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:26,760
But he asked what on earth I was doing.
428
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:28,760
I said: I'm sucking you!
429
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:33,320
He said the essence of fellatio
was making the mouth like a twat...
430
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,800
- Twat?
- Pussy. Does a pussy have a tongue?
431
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:38,680
- No.
- No.
432
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:40,360
Damn. You have a point.
433
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,640
So all a girl has to say
is the word "holy"...
434
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:49,360
...and then press her tongue and palate
against his dick and move up and down.
435
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,360
- Holy.
- No...
436
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:57,400
- Ho-ly.
- Holy...
437
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,080
- Shit!
- Fuck. Or Suck?
438
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:11,520
I banged Suck last night.
439
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:13,920
My vagina is aggressively active.
440
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,320
You can say that again!
441
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:24,320
Fuck a duck. What a twat.
442
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:28,040
He has to show his friends
he bonked me. Show off!
443
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:31,160
Anyway, he asked for it.
444
00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:18,960
Lesson one: never reveal your intentions!
445
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:30,520
Great! Rejected by civilisation!
446
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,560
Just like two bag ladies!
But more attractive!
447
00:54:33,720 --> 00:54:36,960
- Where were we?
- Playing Holy with the Moly.
448
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:38,880
And don't forget it.
449
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,680
- What's this?
- Off to the premi�©re.
450
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,680
When I go to theatre,
I remember why I hate people.
451
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,600
Joanne, the terrible Bearded Clam?
452
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,440
...of her blow jobs, 'cos she can't act.
453
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:57,680
This is a good moment to take
a break for our sponsor.
454
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:04,000
Usually the novel's better
than the film, but this time...
455
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,360
...the film's much better!
456
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:09,480
Thanks, Ronald.
457
00:56:10,240 --> 00:56:13,120
Does LT have anything important to say?
458
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:27,880
Some people do anything
to show off their social ignorance.
459
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:39,560
Feelings are never hypocritical.
460
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:43,480
I'll hold you down!
461
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,920
Don't you have any lines?
462
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:44,600
That's quite enough!
463
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:47,840
That's enough, you telescopic twit.
464
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:51,600
You think you can get away with anything!
You thought:-
465
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:55,640
I'll fuck her!
I'll act that I'm fucking her!
466
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:58,640
Is that which you thought? Forget it, flab.
467
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:09,320
Have you gone crazy?
Sit down, you silly cow.
468
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:16,280
It's a play. I just explained.
You look foolish.
469
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:32,800
You ruin everything!
470
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:37,240
I'll never forgive you.
471
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:56,920
I can't take any more
of your pseudo-artistic sex crap!
472
01:00:57,080 --> 01:00:59,280
What you're doing is terrible!
473
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:03,360
If you think you can get away with...
474
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:15,040
I won't sit down out there, Max.
Come with me and we'll forget it...
475
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:18,680
...or play your role and
you'll never see me again.
476
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:25,000
I mean it, Max.
Now!
477
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:35,520
He'll come. Wanna bet?
478
01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:38,040
Maybe he can't find his underwear?
479
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:47,640
Shit!
Okay, he asked for it.
480
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:30,080
Come with me.
481
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:50,600
If you do it, do it right!
482
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:15,840
The Manhattan Waterfront is more
breathtaking than Dutch dikes.
483
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:18,400
And his hair is improving.
484
01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:37,760
Thank goodness for that.
485
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:05,240
Says the girl who used to fuck
one guy after another.
486
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:00,680
Can't these guys stop crying?
487
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:07,320
I'm on to you, buddy.
488
01:08:09,320 --> 01:08:10,920
No way, flab.
489
01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:33,920
Why don't people like me?
490
01:11:34,560 --> 01:11:37,360
It's the loneliness, Mom, the emptiness.
491
01:11:37,520 --> 01:11:40,480
It's the chatter and gossip...
492
01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:47,920
...and we bob along from crap to
useless, via twisted to conceited...
493
01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:50,480
...and vice versa.
494
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:53,360
Why did I lose Max?
495
01:11:53,520 --> 01:11:55,400
Why do things pass by?
496
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:07,440
- It's Lottie, in Phileine's house.
- It's Phileine, in Mrs Waldorfs house.
497
01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:10,240
Soiling my sheets
with your sneaky fuckers?
498
01:12:10,400 --> 01:12:13,040
If you phoned to insult me...
499
01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:16,640
- I fucked up, Mom.
- That's nice.
500
01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:19,640
Not fucked, fucked up!
501
01:12:20,480 --> 01:12:23,000
Max wasn't that special.
502
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:28,040
- Are you really at the Waldorf?
- Yes.
503
01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:31,520
How can you afford it?
What did you have to do?
504
01:12:31,680 --> 01:12:35,040
I said Max was history
and you talk money?
505
01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:39,600
I just wondered how you could afford
such an expensive hotel room?
506
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:42,720
- I made a big mistake, Mom.
- Oh no...
507
01:12:43,880 --> 01:12:45,640
What did you do?
508
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:48,240
I listened to you too much.
509
01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:23,840
You're a baffled baboon
and I'm finished with you.
510
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,880
I don't believe you.
511
01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:34,440
- Come on. I want to talk to you.
- Go ahead...
512
01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:39,440
- Not here. This is fake.
- You're an actor. You love fake.
513
01:13:41,120 --> 01:13:44,160
Okay, you asked for it.
514
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:46,800
Max, let go!
515
01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:48,640
Put me down!
516
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:50,840
Christ, Max! Down!
517
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,280
Hey leggo bastard max!
518
01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:57,680
Put me down!
519
01:14:00,440 --> 01:14:02,560
What are you up to?
520
01:14:02,720 --> 01:14:05,360
Can't you see? I'm taking you with me.
521
01:14:06,480 --> 01:14:08,880
I've had enough. Keep quiet...
522
01:14:09,040 --> 01:14:12,640
...we'll forget what happened
and all's back to normal.
523
01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:16,480
I was stupid to be so secretive.
I should have warned you.
524
01:14:16,640 --> 01:14:19,720
Next time I'll just invite you...
525
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:22,640
...so you can say you don't like theatre...
526
01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:26,640
...and you don't want to come.
Enough is enough!
527
01:16:02,360 --> 01:16:04,360
It's for you.
528
01:16:09,920 --> 01:16:12,520
But first tell me...
529
01:16:16,360 --> 01:16:18,200
Love you too?
530
01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:25,560
You're brains, beauty, beast, best too?
531
01:16:25,720 --> 01:16:27,760
You have something to say?
532
01:16:32,440 --> 01:16:33,880
No!
533
01:16:36,480 --> 01:16:38,280
Are you sure?
534
01:16:39,320 --> 01:16:41,680
What should I tell you?
535
01:16:45,040 --> 01:16:48,400
- You're sure?
- What?
536
01:16:52,560 --> 01:16:53,920
What?
537
01:16:57,640 --> 01:17:00,480
At least I gave you a chance!
538
01:17:03,120 --> 01:17:06,960
- Max? Come on.
- Get lost, Phileine.
539
01:17:07,120 --> 01:17:10,080
Go back to Utrecht!
540
01:18:44,840 --> 01:18:46,440
Cocksucker!
541
01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:49,200
Christ, all the men are gay!
542
01:18:50,960 --> 01:18:55,480
- Weren't you going home today?
- Christian went home. I didn't.
543
01:18:55,640 --> 01:19:01,240
And you know what? I'm happy.
I'm happy to be myself again.
544
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:05,440
So happy... But I need a drink.
545
01:19:07,480 --> 01:19:09,200
Where's Max?
546
01:19:38,280 --> 01:19:39,960
What d'you want?
547
01:19:43,040 --> 01:19:45,160
I should feel sorry for you?
548
01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:49,760
I'm here, aren't I? Isn't that enough?
549
01:19:50,600 --> 01:19:53,680
No, it's not enough.
550
01:19:53,840 --> 01:19:56,680
Since you came,
you've only been trouble.
551
01:20:36,280 --> 01:20:38,760
You mean that excavated mummy?
552
01:20:46,280 --> 01:20:49,720
- What's he got?
- A cold, that's all...
553
01:20:55,280 --> 01:20:57,800
Crotch, does Leonard have AIDS?
554
01:21:02,960 --> 01:21:06,000
These things happen. Life sucks.
555
01:21:06,160 --> 01:21:07,840
What else is new?
556
01:21:08,160 --> 01:21:13,840
You're a real bitch, a hard,
insensitive, selfish ultra-bitch.
557
01:21:16,760 --> 01:21:18,560
You know what I wonder?
558
01:21:18,720 --> 01:21:22,280
What kind of parents call a girl Crotch?
559
01:21:22,440 --> 01:21:24,800
I'd really love to meet them.
560
01:21:24,960 --> 01:21:27,880
Phileine, don't be so melodramatic!
561
01:22:48,720 --> 01:22:52,800
- Stay here, Romeo.
- We're not done with you.
562
01:22:53,440 --> 01:22:59,000
Max, can you hear me?
I've been a cynical, insensitive bitch.
563
01:22:59,160 --> 01:23:00,600
I want to say it!
564
01:23:00,760 --> 01:23:02,480
- Hey Phileine!
- Never mind!
565
01:23:02,640 --> 01:23:04,720
Can you hear me Max?
566
01:23:08,520 --> 01:23:10,040
It's only Phileine!
567
01:23:10,200 --> 01:23:13,640
Sorry, Max. Sorry!
568
01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:31,080
I said Sorry, Max. You heard?
569
01:23:33,520 --> 01:23:35,000
Sorry...
570
01:23:36,520 --> 01:23:38,440
- What did you say?
- Sorry.
571
01:23:43,760 --> 01:23:45,520
Sorry for Living.
572
01:24:18,320 --> 01:24:19,960
Love you too!
573
01:25:35,240 --> 01:25:37,240
Did you say Sorry, Phileine?
574
01:25:39,400 --> 01:25:40,800
You crazy bitch!
575
01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:47,800
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