Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:01,920
God, this is dull. So much for my silly childhood dream of becoming a supply
2
00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:03,030
side economist.
3
00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:06,250
At least you're not reading Kant. This guy gives dry, ponderous intellectuals a
4
00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:06,850
bad name.
5
00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:08,400
Speaking of intellectuals...
6
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,910
Augh! I just had the worst date of my life! Not only did he wear white pants,
7
00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:14,720
his car CD-player skipped...
8
00:01:14,907 --> 00:01:17,507
... and if that weren't bad enough, he spent the whole dinner talking about
9
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:20,270
himself and then accused me of not paying attention just because I had to
10
00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:22,070
quickly check my lipstick in the butter knife...
11
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:23,820
Wait! Where are you going?!
12
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,390
To check our mascara in the salad tongs.
13
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:30,260
But you can't go! I really need someone to talk to and all the normal people are
14
00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:31,050
out on dates.
15
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,560
Oh, well, you wouldn't want to barge in on someone's date.
16
00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:39,830
Exactly! Tiffany? I had the worst evening... fine, hurry up and order dessert...
17
00:01:41,110 --> 00:01:45,070
So you see, Toby, a top-notch marketing consultant could really beef up your business!
18
00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:49,300
Er, Jake, we're a sushi bar. Don't you mean "fish up" my business?
19
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:52,210
Here, have some more sake.
20
00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:53,630
Don't mind if I do.
21
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:54,990
Jake, haven't you had...
22
00:01:55,147 --> 00:01:58,427
Hey, Ellen, why aren't you eating? Not trying to keep your girlish figure at
23
00:01:58,500 --> 00:01:59,590
your age, are you?
24
00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:05,079
Ha-ha... actually, I had a late lunch. Followed by an insufferable dinner.
25
00:02:10,545 --> 00:02:11,118
What is that?!
26
00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:15,759
Either a traveling band of eunuchs, or Quinn's figured out how to turn on the radio.
27
00:02:19,255 --> 00:02:21,759
God, Daria. Why didn't you tell me things were so bad at home?
28
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,280
I didn't want you to worry.
29
00:02:30,476 --> 00:02:31,087
Oops.
30
00:02:34,118 --> 00:02:36,743
Oh, God. We've got to get you the hell out of here.
31
00:02:36,970 --> 00:02:37,642
Works for me.
32
00:02:39,077 --> 00:02:41,025
I'll go myself. It'll be quieter.
33
00:02:46,938 --> 00:02:52,618
I'm starving... sushi sucks! Sake rocks. Hey, got to remember that.
34
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:54,760
Where's the lazooni... ?
35
00:02:58,420 --> 00:02:58,830
Hey!
36
00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:00,610
Mr. Morgendorffer! I can explain!
37
00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:05,190
Tom! Oh, hey, you know, that door sticks on me, too. Let me get it for you.
38
00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:13,030
Hey, you ever try any of that sake? It sucks! I mean rocks!
39
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,730
Um, no. You know, the age thing.
40
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:20,100
Oh, yeah. Good for you! Nice guy, that Tom.
41
00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:25,830
No wonder you can't sleep. Tokyo Toby's is poison.
42
00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:30,810
Is not... hey, I forgot to offer Tom some lazonny...
43
00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:31,630
What?!
44
00:03:32,070 --> 00:03:35,740
Damn. One one thousand, two one thousand, three...
45
00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:37,680
Daria, I need to talk to you, right now!
46
00:03:37,970 --> 00:03:38,790
... one thousand.
47
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:45,190
All right, Daria. I guess I can believe your story, though it seems pretty
48
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:48,388
farfetched to me that two teenagers with raging hormones...
49
00:03:48,590 --> 00:03:53,320
My hormones don't rage. Oh, sure, they get mad sometimes, but then they just
50
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:54,720
stop speaking to each other.
51
00:03:54,910 --> 00:03:57,220
All right... so you weren't, you know... ?
52
00:03:57,380 --> 00:03:59,790
I certainly do know. And no.
53
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:03,650
Then tell me once again why Tom was slipping out the door at 4:00 A.M. like a
54
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:04,560
common criminal?
55
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:05,300
Phone!
56
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:09,610
Gee, could the sneaking around have been part of a futile attempt to avoid an
57
00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:12,710
unnecessary all-night lecture about responsibility?
58
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:17,240
All right, I admit I was a little upset, but I'm sure you can understand that
59
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,850
when a mother sees her daughter, her little baby girl, to whom she gave life...
60
00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:23,720
Nothing happened. I'd tell you if it did.
61
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,439
You would? Really?
62
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,743
Um... anyway, you believe me, right?
63
00:04:29,757 --> 00:04:31,462
Stacy. Stacy!
64
00:04:32,204 --> 00:04:35,243
I can't talk any louder, you dope! I'm trying to tell you my
65
00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:37,360
sister had a guy in her room all night!
66
00:04:39,624 --> 00:04:43,427
Seriously, Daria, if the time comes when you decide that...
67
00:04:43,552 --> 00:04:46,263
you know... I hope you will come to me first.
68
00:04:46,346 --> 00:04:47,521
Um, what?
69
00:04:47,614 --> 00:04:50,730
Not that I would ever try to talk you out of it - which is not to say I'm
70
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:53,970
trying to talk you into it - it's just that I'd like to have the chance to
71
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:58,200
discuss things with you first. I only wish I could have gone to my mother before
72
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,830
I made such an awful mistake. What is it about stunt drivers that makes
73
00:05:01,990 --> 00:05:04,810
otherwise level-headed teenage girls just whip off their...
74
00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:09,714
Okay, okay. Um, I've got to study. Big test. Biiig test...
75
00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:13,239
Helen! I think I've got something in my throat! Can you see anything down there?
76
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,013
Daria! I, uh...
77
00:05:18,890 --> 00:05:20,430
Jake, nothing happened!
78
00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:29,210
The problem with going to restaurants is that they're not in my room.
79
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,740
I know what you mean. I have the same issue with hiking trails.
80
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:35,740
My, my, my... is that the lovely Miss Morgendorffer?
81
00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:41,070
Congratulations. You've passed your vision test. Please proceed to line B for
82
00:05:41,146 --> 00:05:41,930
your written.
83
00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:46,580
And you've passed your admission test to Club De Amore. Please check your
84
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,302
inhibitions at the door!
85
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,294
What's wrong with him?
86
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:54,970
His parents forgot to put decals on the sliding glass doors.
87
00:05:55,150 --> 00:05:57,300
Hey, Daria's guy! Way to go, man!
88
00:05:57,473 --> 00:05:58,098
Excuse me?
89
00:05:58,220 --> 00:06:02,790
You know... you did the wild walk, made a touchdown, signed the deed!
90
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,900
Tonight's Babble Chat was hosted by Kevin Thompson.
91
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,990
Oh, Daria! Now we can have womanly talks!
92
00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:11,122
What the hell are you ranting about?
93
00:06:11,226 --> 00:06:12,161
You know...
94
00:06:13,027 --> 00:06:15,888
Let's go, babe, and leave the love babes alone.
95
00:06:16,691 --> 00:06:18,185
That was weird. Even for them.
96
00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:22,599
We'd better get out of here before the parmesan fumes get to us, too.
97
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,620
Damn it, Helen, I know there's something crawling up my throat, and I think it's
98
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:32,840
a parasite courtesy of Tokyo Toby's Parasite Restaurant! If I stand still, I can
99
00:06:32,950 --> 00:06:34,250
even feel it laughing inside of me...
100
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,100
Now you're being ridiculous. Even if that horrible sushi did have a parasite, it
101
00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:39,708
couldn't have survived that much sake.
102
00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:42,990
Daria... I... um... uh...
103
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,310
Your father thinks he picked up a parasite eating sushi.
104
00:06:46,477 --> 00:06:50,527
You mean the kind that drill through your intestines, twisting and turning and
105
00:06:50,650 --> 00:06:54,670
driving you slowly insane until they grow eight feet long and corkscrew out
106
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:55,970
through your vital organs?
107
00:06:56,256 --> 00:06:56,756
Daria...
108
00:06:56,930 --> 00:06:59,870
Help me, Helen... before the madness sets in.
109
00:06:59,980 --> 00:07:00,650
Any further.
110
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:01,340
Daria!
111
00:07:03,070 --> 00:07:09,351
Hello? Oh, Toby. Listen, about your so-called fresh sushi... I got the job?
112
00:07:09,483 --> 00:07:14,398
How much? Wow! I mean, I think I can live with that. See you tomorrow!
113
00:07:14,593 --> 00:07:15,940
Helen! I got the job!
114
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:17,800
And all the parasites you can eat.
115
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,023
Parasites? You know, you were right. It's probably just a sore throat...
116
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:23,226
I think I'm gonna throw up...
117
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:30,375
Hey.
118
00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:32,625
Ah. I've been expecting your call
119
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,090
Huh?
120
00:07:33,156 --> 00:07:36,180
All right, I'm listening. But for God's sake, at least spare me the squishier
121
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,312
details and the rapturous declarations of undying love.
122
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:40,890
What are you talking about?
123
00:07:40,976 --> 00:07:41,679
What are you?
124
00:07:41,770 --> 00:07:46,210
I was hoping you could tell me. Tom and I ran into some people from school and
125
00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:50,280
they kept alluding to I'm-almost-afraid-to-guess-what. Is something going on?
126
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:52,132
Come on, Daria, you know.
127
00:07:52,207 --> 00:07:53,007
Know what?
128
00:07:53,872 --> 00:07:54,572
You don't know?
129
00:07:54,670 --> 00:07:56,234
What?! Just tell me!
130
00:07:56,470 --> 00:08:01,600
Well, there's this rumor going around that you and Tom... slept together.
131
00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:02,304
Huh?!
132
00:08:02,430 --> 00:08:05,130
And that your father walked in right... well, right in the middle of things.
133
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:06,375
Oh, my God.
134
00:08:06,559 --> 00:08:10,476
And Daria... since when do you own a pair of black high heels?
135
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:25,940
That's not right, either. Oh, the curse of having two good shoulders!
136
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,160
Daria! What are you doing in here?
137
00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:32,180
I want to know exactly what you told everyone at school about me and Tom.
138
00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:36,580
I didn't say a word! Besides, I swore Stacy to secrecy, but then she told Sandi
139
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,398
and Tiffany, so if you're mad at anyone, it should be Stacy and not me!
140
00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:42,000
Uh-huh. Look, dammit, nothing hap...
141
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:45,860
Stop! I don't want to hear any of the sordid details. I don't care what coupled
142
00:08:45,970 --> 00:08:46,550
people do!
143
00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:47,950
And I'm telling you, nothing...
144
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:52,679
Okay! Okay! Look, I got to, um... go shopping. Big sale. Biiig sale.
145
00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:54,400
Quinn, listen to me for one min...
146
00:08:54,510 --> 00:08:55,710
Half off. Gotta go. Bye!
147
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,250
Can I talk to you for a second?
148
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:02,260
Sure. What's up?
149
00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:06,023
Um, you've probably heard the rumor about me and Tom...
150
00:09:06,260 --> 00:09:09,680
Hey, it's no big deal, right? This isn't the '50s, when women had to worry about
151
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:10,670
their reputations.
152
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:15,340
But it's not true. I never slept with Tom and I don't own any high heels.
153
00:09:15,490 --> 00:09:17,060
I don't even own any low heels.
154
00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:21,220
Daria, it's okay, really. Besides, you and Tom have been going out for so long,
155
00:09:21,330 --> 00:09:25,210
I'd think by now you'd want to do more than just hold hands. Right?
156
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,289
Um...
157
00:09:26,381 --> 00:09:29,541
Hey, sex is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you're responsible.
158
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,968
So, then, you and Mack have... been responsible?
159
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,390
Um... I really don't want to discuss that right now.
160
00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:36,578
I understand.
161
00:09:36,652 --> 00:09:39,578
I promise: soon as my parents are dead, I'll tell you all about it.
162
00:09:40,543 --> 00:09:44,054
Okay. Just so long as there's nothing to be ashamed of.
163
00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:49,210
And I thought the whole point of being unpopular was that no one knows you exist
164
00:09:49,326 --> 00:09:50,336
or talks about you.
165
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,540
It's been a slow news week. Don't worry, they'll go back to not recognizing you
166
00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:54,180
soon enough.
167
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,860
Easy for you to say. You never had a rumor circulating around school that you
168
00:09:58,990 --> 00:09:59,920
slept with someone.
169
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:03,062
Well, if that ever does happen, I hope the guy's a professional wrestler. Look,
170
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:06,397
why does this bother you so much, anyway? It can't be you're worried Kevin won't
171
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:07,453
respect you.
172
00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:11,450
No... I guess it's the assumption that if you're in a relationship, you're
173
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:15,840
having sex. So if you're not, does that make your relationship any less of one?
174
00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:18,664
I knew I should have jumped Tom when I had the chance.
175
00:10:19,054 --> 00:10:22,910
Kidding! I told you, I'm waiting till college. 11:00 A.M. on move-in day.
176
00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:24,351
At least you've got a plan.
177
00:10:24,529 --> 00:10:28,539
Anyway, being in a relationship can't possibly hinge on physical intimacy 'cause
178
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,310
that would mean our parents are still doing it.
179
00:10:30,443 --> 00:10:31,320
Which is absurd.
180
00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:31,882
No chance.
181
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:32,852
I'd join the circus.
182
00:10:33,061 --> 00:10:33,664
Right behind you.
183
00:10:33,863 --> 00:10:34,793
Thanks for your insight.
184
00:10:34,950 --> 00:10:35,875
What I'm here for.
185
00:10:37,168 --> 00:10:41,140
You really think once some new rumor comes along everyone will forget about me
186
00:10:41,254 --> 00:10:42,039
and Tom?
187
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:42,960
I'm sure of it.
188
00:10:43,193 --> 00:10:48,363
Good... because my sister's got a rare form of Malaysian toenail fungus.
189
00:10:48,530 --> 00:10:50,226
Ooh! That can be terminal!
190
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:56,850
Whoa. That is one hell of a parasite. Now hold on! One, two, three!
191
00:10:57,375 --> 00:10:57,843
Aah!
192
00:10:58,432 --> 00:10:59,530
Here. Take a look.
193
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:04,234
Eww... um, must have gotten it from that damn food-rotting Tupperware...
194
00:11:04,318 --> 00:11:07,458
Tupperware? I don't think so. When was the last time you had sushi?
195
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,120
Last weekend at Tokyo Toby's...
196
00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:13,840
Tokyo Toby's? When is the health department going to shut that worm factory down?
197
00:11:13,895 --> 00:11:17,145
This is the third anisakid I've seen come out of that place in two months!
198
00:11:17,325 --> 00:11:18,293
Oh...
199
00:11:19,072 --> 00:11:22,957
Can anger management training really help gorillas avoid extinction?
200
00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:27,050
Maybe, but it's not doing much for the psychiatrists! "The apes of wrath,"
201
00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:28,535
today on Sick, Sad World!
202
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,790
Are you okay? You hardly said a word when the monster attacked the girls' swim
203
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,512
team. All those vital organs bobbing around in the water...
204
00:11:36,006 --> 00:11:39,684
I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but there's this rumor going around school
205
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:41,387
that you and I slept together.
206
00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:43,550
Really? Can we get that rumor started at my school?
207
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:44,793
It's not funny.
208
00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:47,489
Come on, Daria. Since when do you care what other people think?
209
00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:53,260
It's not that... so much. It's just that... the implication is, well, to be
210
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:57,184
really close, couples need physical as well as emotional intimacy.
211
00:11:57,418 --> 00:12:02,239
Boy, people will believe anything. Look, you said you weren't ready. So okay.
212
00:12:02,511 --> 00:12:05,012
Oh, fine. Just take me at my word.
213
00:12:05,387 --> 00:12:08,692
That is what you said, right? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. Please.
214
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:12,051
Hey, far be it from me to pressure you into anything.
215
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:15,170
Daria, you're the one who doesn't want to, remember? I backed off 'cause I
216
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:19,168
thought that's what you wanted. But I can be persuaded otherwise. See? All done.
217
00:12:19,850 --> 00:12:24,600
Okay, fine... in the interest of moving our relationship forward and taking it
218
00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:28,871
to a new, deeper level, I've decided I'm ready, too. Damn it.
219
00:12:28,954 --> 00:12:30,309
Really? Are you sure?
220
00:12:31,044 --> 00:12:35,535
Sure I'm sure. Of course, there's the issue of... you know.
221
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:38,410
No problem! I've got one right here. You know, my parents won't be home...
222
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:40,942
Wait! You just carry one of those things around?
223
00:12:41,399 --> 00:12:42,137
Wishful thinking?
224
00:12:42,182 --> 00:12:44,348
God, guys are all the same.
225
00:12:44,516 --> 00:12:45,707
What, responsible?
226
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:49,723
You know, maybe we are rushing into this. Forget I brought it up.
227
00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:51,660
Forget you brought it up? Jeez!
228
00:12:51,810 --> 00:12:53,990
Hey. I didn't expect to be put on the spot.
229
00:12:54,130 --> 00:12:55,490
I thought you just said you wanted to.
230
00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:59,840
Not so much that I'm running around town with a neon birth control device in my purse.
231
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,140
Look, I've been a good guy about this. You said you're ready, so I tried to be
232
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:07,965
conscientious and now you don't want to again. Make up your mind! And it's not neon!
233
00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:09,960
I'm ready.
234
00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:10,778
You're sure?
235
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:11,676
Positive.
236
00:13:12,873 --> 00:13:17,035
Um, okay. When were you thinking, um, we would, you know?
237
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:20,340
Um, anytime. But not right now.
238
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:22,059
Um, okay.
239
00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:25,473
It's definitely not neon, right?
240
00:13:34,169 --> 00:13:36,926
So, um... should we pick a date?
241
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:40,067
Well... my parents are going out of town next weekend. How about then?
242
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:42,310
No fair. Home court advantage.
243
00:13:42,550 --> 00:13:43,645
Fine. Your place.
244
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:47,450
Like I'd ever find all the microphones Mom's hidden around my room.
245
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,090
The Rendezvous Motel? You know, on Route 6.
246
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,621
Gee, don't make me feel too special.
247
00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:56,490
All right, the boathouse at the lake, with the stars, the moon, the water?
248
00:13:56,650 --> 00:14:00,075
And the mosquitoes, the splinters, the security patrol?
249
00:14:00,281 --> 00:14:04,066
Okay, how about Mars, then? Soon as that whole colonization thing gets going?
250
00:14:05,174 --> 00:14:07,884
Your room, next Saturday night at eight.
251
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:14,559
Yo, kinky shoe girl, good news. The Malaysian fungus has your sister down to
252
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,387
three toes, and one of them is dangling.
253
00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:18,754
That's so sad.
254
00:14:18,811 --> 00:14:23,041
Yeah, and that hot news flash from the Lawndale gossip mill has left you and Tom
255
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:27,832
in the proverbial dust. No one cares about your sex life anymore, or lack thereof.
256
00:14:28,123 --> 00:14:31,163
Um... make that former lack thereof.
257
00:14:31,573 --> 00:14:32,418
Daria!
258
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:35,410
Or rather, future former lack thereof.
259
00:14:35,597 --> 00:14:37,715
Oh. So... when?
260
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,739
Soon. This weekend.
261
00:14:39,890 --> 00:14:44,004
Ah. You seem a tad... what's the word... scared witless?
262
00:14:44,043 --> 00:14:46,770
Okay, so I am a little very nervous.
263
00:14:46,911 --> 00:14:50,753
Of course you are! This is a big decision. A defining moment in your life!
264
00:14:50,926 --> 00:14:53,170
Oh, good. That's not too much pressure.
265
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,650
Or possibly just another adolescent embarrassment you'll need to repress in
266
00:14:56,790 --> 00:14:58,934
adulthood just to get out of bed in the morning.
267
00:14:59,129 --> 00:15:05,295
Huh. So far, that makes everything after my 12th birthday. Um, you don't think
268
00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:07,317
that'll really happen, do you?
269
00:15:07,417 --> 00:15:12,107
No, no, it's gonna be great. Well, then, congratulations or whatever they say in
270
00:15:12,290 --> 00:15:13,420
situations like these.
271
00:15:13,550 --> 00:15:15,192
I think it's "S.O.S."
272
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,817
You said I was being ridiculous! You said it couldn't be a parasite!
273
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,420
Okay, Jake. You were right, I was wrong.
274
00:15:25,587 --> 00:15:27,717
Oh, sweet music to my ears!
275
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:32,160
Which only proves that I was right about Tokyo Toby's being poison in the first place.
276
00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:33,700
Oh, yeah...
277
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,395
Um... Daria!
278
00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:40,543
Daria, hi! Anything new?
279
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:44,650
Well, you didn't hear it from me, but Quinn's played her last game of "This
280
00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:45,600
Little Piggy."
281
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,395
Hmm, it's Friday night. Aren't you going out with Tom?
282
00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:53,848
Sorry. Only one question per customer. Please try again tomorrow.
283
00:15:53,970 --> 00:15:58,231
Daria, about that talk we were going to have... we don't have to wait.
284
00:15:58,343 --> 00:15:59,163
We could have it...
285
00:15:59,257 --> 00:16:02,970
No, no. The end of time is fine for me. And speaking of the time...
286
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:06,970
Okay! Even if you were right about Toby's, I was right about the parasite, and
287
00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:10,330
it was a double-wide parasite so that makes me doubly right!
288
00:16:10,580 --> 00:16:14,679
Jake, not now! I'm talking to Daria. Daria?
289
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:22,280
God. Saturday already?
290
00:16:35,475 --> 00:16:38,843
When is Quinn going to stop storing her nail polish in the...
291
00:16:39,117 --> 00:16:41,046
ooh, "Sunrise Sublime."
292
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,260
Hello? Oh, hi, Tom!
293
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:53,695
Daria? No, I haven't seen her. Sure, I'll tell her. Bye.
294
00:16:54,011 --> 00:16:55,890
Daria, is everything all right?
295
00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:58,380
Sure. Fine. Never been better.
296
00:16:58,507 --> 00:17:02,367
You know, I've never known you not to want to speak to Tom, or wear "Slicky
297
00:17:02,470 --> 00:17:03,680
Fingers" nail polish.
298
00:17:03,830 --> 00:17:08,490
Um... I believe you should try everything once no matter how unmistakably stupid
299
00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:14,610
it is. Almost everything. Anyway, got to go. Lot of homework. Big essay due.
300
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:15,761
Biiig essay.
301
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:20,331
I thought you said you were seeing Tom tonight. Daria?
302
00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:27,026
I don't believe this.
303
00:17:33,610 --> 00:17:34,105
Daria.
304
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:39,760
"Dear Tom: I'm sorry about last night, but when I thought about it for the 50th
305
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:44,130
time, I realized I'm just not ready. Please let this letter serve as my
306
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:47,605
acceptance of the inevitable breakup. Daria."
307
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:48,683
Damn.
308
00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:54,792
Oh. Um, you got my note?
309
00:17:56,271 --> 00:17:57,831
Daria, how could you do this to me?
310
00:17:57,970 --> 00:18:01,519
I can't help it if I'm not ready. I can't change the way I feel.
311
00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:04,850
Not that. I mean, how could you dump me without even talking it over?
312
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:09,940
Look, we both agreed that sleeping together would bring us closer, so... not
313
00:18:10,050 --> 00:18:11,900
doing it must be driving us apart.
314
00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:15,510
No, you said it would bring us closer and I said, fine, if that's the way you
315
00:18:15,630 --> 00:18:19,490
feel. I wasn't pushing this, you were, remember? I was perfectly happy with our
316
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,190
relationship just the way it was.
317
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:22,800
Perfectly happy?
318
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,894
Okay, very content. The point is, you're not ready. I understand.
319
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:32,245
No, you don't understand. It's not that I'm not ready. It's that I'm scared.
320
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:33,011
Same thing.
321
00:18:33,217 --> 00:18:37,217
No, it's not the same thing. I just admitted that I'm scared. The thought of
322
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:40,940
that much intimacy... it's just overwhelming to me.
323
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:46,000
Oh. Daria, you know I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable.
324
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:49,900
And even if I could handle it, what if you were disappointed? Our whole
325
00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:51,320
relationship could be ruined.
326
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:54,620
You don't want to have sex because you're afraid it'll hurt our relationship,
327
00:18:54,730 --> 00:18:57,276
and then you break up with me. Doctor, my head.
328
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:58,964
I thought that's what you'd want.
329
00:18:59,519 --> 00:19:00,129
Think again.
330
00:19:03,110 --> 00:19:07,151
You know, I think that, despite ourselves, we just reached a new level of intimacy.
331
00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:09,042
And lived to tell about it.
332
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:14,667
Hmm, free air fresheners with the fragrance of tuna? Let me think about that...
333
00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:18,380
and, hey, Toby, speaking of thinking... now, you know I think your sushi's delicious...
334
00:19:18,599 --> 00:19:20,987
Especially that rice and roundworm filling.
335
00:19:21,050 --> 00:19:24,870
... but you might want to change suppliers. See, I got a parasite from it... no,
336
00:19:25,011 --> 00:19:29,753
it wasn't a little parasite, it was a big, mean parasite... well, I'm fine now...
337
00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:33,850
I am not whining. Hey, it's not my fault I missed the draft. The war was
338
00:19:33,980 --> 00:19:37,620
winding down! Oh, yeah?! Listen, you big fat blowfish...
339
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:38,800
Can I have a raise?
340
00:19:38,950 --> 00:19:42,870
Dammit, Daria, do you believe the nerve of that guy and his rotten fish?
341
00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:47,760
If that rotten fish has restored communication between us, Father, then I say
342
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:49,690
hooray for smelly old rot.
343
00:19:50,248 --> 00:19:52,018
Oh. Oh!
344
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,714
Jake, is everything all right?
345
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:58,350
Yeah! I mean no! I mean... huh. I think I feel something else in there. I bet
346
00:19:58,450 --> 00:20:02,370
that parasite laid a whole extended family of eggs! Where's that mirror?
347
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:03,722
Daria...
348
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:07,060
Does anyone know how I got on the mailing list for Tootsie Tech, "World's
349
00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:09,670
Largest Supplier of Prosthetic Toes By Mail"?
350
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:12,464
Ooh, do they have those vintage wooden ones?
351
00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:13,151
Augh!
352
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,206
Um, Daria...
353
00:20:15,519 --> 00:20:19,930
Tom and I didn't have sex, and we're not going to any time soon. Unless, of
354
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,860
course, a bomb goes off and, as Earth's last two survivors, we must replenish
355
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:28,073
the human race. Although, frankly, that's not motivation enough for me.
356
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:33,290
Well, I can't say I'm not somewhat relieved. I just want you to know that
357
00:20:33,410 --> 00:20:36,770
whatever decisions you make in life, I'm on your side and...
358
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:41,640
So instead, we've decided to sublimate our urges by traveling cross-country with
359
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:43,050
a motorcycle gang.
360
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:46,230
All right. You just remember to call home on Sunday nights.
361
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,058
Hey!
362
00:20:47,195 --> 00:20:47,643
Ha!
363
00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:52,128
Damn it! I think I can see their beady little eyes! God help me!
364
00:20:53,414 --> 00:20:55,414
Written by Peggy Nicoll
www.outpost-daria.com
365
00:20:55,658 --> 00:20:57,658
Synchro by Atrabilogie
31632
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof