All language subtitles for The.Simpsons.Yellow.Planet.2025.1080p.10bit.WEBRip.6CH.x265.HEVC-PSA_track3_[eng]

For centuries,
our planet has been ravaged by mankind

and its insatiable appetite
for nature documentaries.

Tragically, we are running out
of animal species

who have not already been filmed.

All that's left for us to cover now are
the weirdos, the regrettable accidents,

and the evolutionary dead ends.

Today we present the dregs
of the animal kingdom.

Our first of nature's B-sides
is the disturbingly pale beluga whale,

the only creature whose ghost
is darker than it is.

Ow, ow! Sunburn! Sunburn!

This Darwinian whoopsie is joined

by one of nature's even less
justifiable species, the narwhal.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Oh,
I can't believe the summer's almost over.

Soon we'll have to migrate
our separate ways.

I wish we weren't two different species.

When I look at someone,
I don't see species.

I just see food or not food.

And, baby, you ain't food.

I'll never forget you.

Or this brief, wonderful time we had.

- Hmm.
- That's one woman of a whale.

So, tell us about
this narwhal babe. Did you get any fluke?

Yeah, in how many senses
of the word was she horny?

Come on, tell us everything.

Oh, I will. In song.

Ah, whale song.

For centuries,
their music has reminded sailors

of a filing cabinet
being dragged across concrete,

but perhaps it sounds better
to the whales.

♪ Oh, whale-a, whale-a, whale-a, hmph! ♪

♪ Summer days, swimming in bays
And just half-hour-long summer nights ♪

♪ Oh, whale-a, whale-a, whale-a, hmph! ♪

♪ Tell us more, tell us more
Did you swim by the beach? ♪

♪ Whale-a, hmph! ♪

♪ Give us deets
Did you get her to breach? ♪

♪ Whale-a, hmph! ♪

♪ Spill the tea
Did you give up your horn? ♪

♪ Whale-a, hmph! ♪

♪ Tell it all
'Cause whales ain't got no porn ♪

Summer's done.
I'm never going to see him again.

♪ But, oh... ♪

For now, let's leave our Arctic
also-rans and meet our next misfit,

the marine iguana.

A creature that does all it can
to sabotage the survival of its offspring

by laying its eggs on
the most dangerous beach in the world.

Hey, I got born!

And I'm on a nice, safe beach.

This is the good life.

Did somebody
say sidekick? Let's get scrambling!

Dudes, it's lunchtime.

Are you my mommy?

We're here for a good time,
not a long time.

Ha-ha!

What geniuses had the idea
to put our nursery

in a snake-infested hellhole?

Hello.

Attention, children.

Welcome to school.

By which I mean,
schooling you in how not to be eaten.

Now, your first assignment is to reach
the safety of these rocks.

I'm on it, sir!

No, wait.

I have test anxiety. I need extra time!

Why am I still alive?

The snakes cannot see you
if you do not move.

Thus, your task is a simple one.

Never move while they're looking,
which is always.

And still without moving, run to us.

Now, any questions?

Oh! Oh!

Okay, all you have to do

is make sure that the snakes eat
all these other liz-wads,

then they won't be hungry for us.

Bro, I like the way you think.

This sucks, but whatever.

Sometimes it's not
the fittest who survive,

but the rudest dude
with the baddest 'tude.

Hmm.

Ach! Schnell like the wind!

Congratulations to our valedictorian.

Nerd!

So what do I win?

A lifetime with the two of us
on this rock,

and that's it.

Back in the Arctic,

the lovelorn beluga yearns
for his narwhal crush.

Aw, I miss that stabby goddess.

Cheer up, pal.
You know the old saying,

"There's plenty of other me's
in the here."

Aw, thanks for saying that.
You're good friends.

All right, let's be honest,
that unicorn whale was a real unicorn.

20,000 leagues out of your league.

But that means you got to try harder,
not stop trying.

Hey, you're right.

I've been moping around
when I should be fighting for her love.

What would I do without you?

Mmm. Trusted companion.

Wait, when I find her,
what do I say to her?

What males have been saying
to females since the dawn of time.

Whatever you have to.

No part of the ocean
can be said to be wetter than any other,

but one part of the land can.

The rainforest, home to a misfit monkey
called the mandrill.

Daddy,

one of those creatures is pointing
one of those things at us again.

It's a human
with a camera. Just ignore it.

My poop-throwing teacher
says that humans are related to us.

Oh, no, they're not. Evolution's a myth.

God created us in his own image.

And what does God have?

A big, juicy, red butt.

But the humans look a lot like us.

That's it. From now on,
you boys are being tree-schooled.

What have I told you
about walking like that?

Sorry, Daddy.

Hmm.

Holy mackerel.

Yes, my son?

Not you.

I can't believe I found her.

Hey, sugar fins.

What are you doing here?

This is the whale
you've been spending so much time with?

Nobody told me he was "belug-ish."

Take a krill pill, Dad.

I'm sure there's a very good reason
he left his pod

and traveled hundreds of miles
to join this one.

Oh, the best reason.

My entire pod, everyone I know and love,

was killed... ...by killer whales.

Then how did you escape?

The orcas said, and I'm...
I'm quoting them now,

"I was a great guy and a real catch
who could make some female very happy."

Well, you know,
I guess killer whales love love.

Can he stay with us, Dad? Can he?

He can stay.

But you'd better sleep with one eye open.

I already do.

Ah. Good.

All whales do.
It's an interesting fact about us.

Don't tell me what whales do.

I won't.

Okay, then.

Interspecies cohabitation
is fraught with peril.

If this beluga is to survive,
it will have to do its best to blend in.

Mmm.

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the stuff.

Whee!

Just be glad my butt doesn't itch.

Okay.

Now in the narwhal pod,
the beluga is a fish out of water,

although he's not a fish,
and he is in water.

There's my blubbery goddess.

Ow! Ow! Ow... is it going, ladies?

Me, I'm good.
I'm really comfortable around you guys.

You've got a barnacle attached to you.

A very fat barnacle.

I am a whale, so calling me fat
is actually a compliment.

I need to dive for food. Wanna come with?

Food? Whoa.

That's one of my favorite things to eat.

Okay, fun. Follow me.

Our daughter could have
her pick of the pod.

Like that guy. He's in plastics.

This is the future.

Do beluga whales usually dive this deep?

Oh, all the time.

I thrive under... ...pressure.

I hope it's much further.

Hold on, I'll inflate you.

I've never done that before.

I mean, I just practiced on my fin.

We now turn our attention
to an ornithological oddity

found off the coast of South America.

These tuxedoed jesters
of the Antarctic are--

Are those penguins?
I hope you're not doing penguins.

No, Morgan. I mean, Mr. Freeman.

- I'd never step on your narrating toes.
- You don't wanna know

what happened to the people
who made the penguin movie, Happy Feet.

I really don't.
No, I get what you're saying.

They were driving home late one night.

Maybe there was ice on the road
and maybe there wasn't.

Okay, okay, moving on.

The woodpecker finch.

A bird, yes, but definitely,
definitely not a penguin.

It eats ants in tree bark
like a woodpecker,

but unlike a real woodpecker,
it's not fully evolved for the task.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Worst adaptation ever.

Ow!

Finches! Finches, please!

All this banging
is gonna give our species head trauma.

There has to be a better way
to dig ants out of a hole.

Mmm. Ants.

What is that amazing tool?

I call it the twig.

Thank you. I assume you accept
regurgitation as payment.

Ka-ching!

We all must blow
our hard-earned chunks

to acquire this disruptive new technology.

That's a lot of seed funding.

I've changed the world,
but I won't rest on my laurels,

if that's what kind of tree this is.

So now it's time for me to push
our species forward again as only I can.

I give you...

the stick!

Well, it's marvelous, of course,

and it's obviously
going to change the world,

but also it does sort of look like just...

well, like sort of a bigger twig. Yes.

Wow, I don't see that at all.

I mean, look,
it has a whole different adapter.

So the old adapters are all useless, then.

It's called progress.

- All dead! What are we gonna do?
- What happened? It's a tragedy!

What happened?

Well, we twigged so many ants
that there's none left,

and now the trees have died too.

Technology didn't make us smarter.

It just made our stupidity more powerful.

Well, we can't live here anymore,
so what do we do now, boss?

Ugh. I guess we'll have
to try our luck in the Amazon.

These Cheetos aren't bad.

Boy, human beings
really have it figured out.

- Good job.
- Excellent work.

That's, uh, sonar. We use that.

Just wait, we're almost there.

This is beautiful.

This has always been my favorite place,

but I've never gotten to share it
with someone else.

You hungry?

I could eat.

Seafood tower.

Oh!

Aw.

This might be the lack of oxygen talking,

but I think you're the sexiest creature
I've ever seen.

Take me to seabed or lose me forever.

Ooh.

Ew, disgusting.

Get a cove.

Speaking of off-putting romance,

we turn now to the bizarre
sexual cannibalism of the praying mantis.

Honey, I'm home.

What the hell?
Were you with another mantis?

You said I should try new things.

Yeah, but this isn't new.
It happens every week.

God, just once I'd like to come home
and find my own head in the corner.

I'm sorry, dear, but I have needs.
Sexual, and dietary.

Well, this is why
the guys at work laugh at me.

They see me walking around with a head,

and they know
that I'm not getting any at home.

Well, maybe we could fix that.

On a Wednesday? All right!

Come to mama, you big hunk of meat.

Oh, yeah.

W-Wait, we forgot to do the,
uh, the sex part.

- Mmm.
- Can you at least take my corpse to work?

As the whales share the foraged
bounty with the rest of the pod,

the beluga is now certain to be accepted.

Ugh. Unacceptable.

But, Daddy, we're in love
and we're going to get married.

Over my beached body.

Stop it. He's a good whale.

After what happened to his pod,

he would have every right
to be bitter and horrible.

But instead, he's honest,
and truthful, and doesn't lie.

Hey, pal.

Haven't seen you around the pod.
Which is thriving, by the way.

Yep, everything's great.

We did have one guy go missing...

...but that was you.

Oh, by the way, I was thinking how
you could bag that girl you was after.

How about telling her a crazy lie?

Just a thought.

You lied to me. Why would you do that?

I was just really messed up
after my pod died, and--

Oh, wait, you know
that didn't happen.

You know what's funny?

Neither of us can even remember
what we're fighting about.

I never wanna see you again.

Shunned by his new pod
and spurned by his new love,

the beluga stoically accepts his fate.

I should have never trusted
that lying "chumbag."

I'll never find true love.

That guy in plastics is still single.

And I hear he's working
on a big deal with the Japanese.

Yeah, business trip.

I don't know. That guy seems
really caught up in work.

Do you want to wind up lonely and riddled
with propeller dents like your sisters?

Calves today.

Mom, I'm sorry
for being such a dry blanket.

Just give me a couple days,

and I'm sure I'll be able
to give up on love forever.

Don't you dare!

I can't let you make
the same mistake I did.

I was once in love with the sweetest
gray whale. His name was...

Oh, of the Newport...

No, different spelling.

We were so in love,
but my parents didn't approve

and being a good daughter,
I reluctantly agreed to end things.

I know one thing, Mom.

I don't want to end up like you
in any way, shape, or form.

I'm going to find my love.

Did you see a beluga whale come this way?

Yeah, I got some bad news there.

He's very torn up after your fight

and he went to the place that you go
when you are done living.

You don't mean...

Anyhoo, he won't be coming back.

But you still got me's,

if you need a thousand shoulders
to cry on or, uh, anything else.

I'm going on an epic migration
to find my true love.

I just need a quick snack for the road.

She put me in the food zone.

Meanwhile, our captive beluga
now performs four shows a day,

to the delight of no one.

Now let's all welcome
our park's saddest new attraction, Blubbo!

Give the baby beluga
a big round of pity applause.

I told a lie and now I'm this.

- You suck, Blubbo!
- Cry more, fatty!

- Whale fail!
- Eat souvenir cup!

Uh-oh, looks like someone's
having a temper tantrum.

We better give the baby his bottle.

You're selling out hard, man.

I know.

Just put me out of my misery and eat me.

What? We would never.

Oh, this is exactly
the discrimination we've had to deal with

ever since somebody started a rumor
that orcas ate a pod of belugas.

Yes, somebody.

I know that beautiful voice.

I know you made a mistake,
but I made an even bigger one:

letting you go.

I love you and wanna spend
the rest of my life with you.

I love you too, but they won't let me go.

My whole act is weeping uncontrollably,

and I'm the least depressing thing
in this theme park.

I'm a prisoner of show business.

The only business I care about is the kind
we should be getting down to. Huh?

That's all the innuendo I need to hear.
I'm coming for you, baby.

What is Blubbo doing?

I think someone needs a nap.

Wow, it looks like baby
is about to take his first jump.

D'oh!

Why did they set you free
after you crushed that human?

It turns out captive whales are the only
animals humans forgive for murdering them.

Aw, my apex predator hero.

And now I got a taste for man blood.

What do you say you and I
go tip over a cruise ship?

I'd like that.

As unholy as it might seem,
belugas and narwhals can reproduce.

And so a whole new species
has joined the dregs.

Aw, there's my precious little--

Ow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Why don't we just let her watch
Krustacean the Clown?

Hey, hey, squids!

That counts as a laugh.

Shh!