All language subtitles for Happiness s01e05.eng

(MELLOW GUITAR MUSIC)

(DOG BARKS, BIRDS TWITTER DISTANTLY)

(BED CREAKS)

- GAYE: # Super Sunday.
Super, Super Sunday.

# Gonna be a really... #

Ooh, yum.
- I've cracked it. I'm a genius.

- (CHUCKLES) Well, I've been saying
that since before you were born, pikelet.

- I just dreamed about
the Hecuba dream sequence. - (GASPS)

- It was incredible.
You were incredible. Mwah.

- # I dreamed� #
- Mum?

- Mm?
- What did we talk about?

- Oh. No Les Mis before 10am.
I'm sorry, darling. - Mm-hm.

- It's just I'm so excited. We're
packing out of the theatre today.

- Last day of rehearsals
is always exciting.

(BLENDER WHIRRS)
I'm gonna need to change what we do.

I'm gonna need to re-block
the entire dream sequence.

A lot of work �

but worth it.

- Hmm?

You're gonna need your energy for the
pack-in, sweetheart, so have some of this.

- Oh. Thanks, Mum.
- Here you go. (SMOOTHIE GLOOPS)

- (CLEARS THROAT)

(GAGS)
- Mm-hm, you like it?

It's my Caesar salad smoothie.

- RASPS: That is...

so yum.
- Oh, great.

Hm.

- Maybe I am meant to stay.

(CHIMES TINKLE)

Just so that I can
see this project through.

You know I only checked my visa
appeal, like, 30 times yesterday? - Oh.

- Maybe the dream was a sign.
- Mm-hm.

- Mum, you're drawing snakes!
There were snakes in my dream.

- They're S's, darling,
for Super Sunday.

- Well, you are right.
It's going to be super. - Aww.

- Now get changed, monkey pants,
or we're gonna be late. - Yes.

- (SNIGGERS)
- (CHUCKLES)

(BIKE BELL DINGS, SEAGULLS SQUAWK)

Oh, I know we're late.
You can blame me. I'm a monster.

- It's not Mum's fault, it's mine. But when
the muse arrives, (LAUGHS) what are you gonna do?

Now, I know this wasn't on
the plan for our last day,

so I wanna thank you in advance
for being adaptable, but yes �

I am re-blocking the entire
Hecuba dream sequence.

- It's Super Sunday.
- Exactly! God, I love how everyone is on the same page.

I'm gonna get these photocopied.
You get the ensemble ready, mm?

- Charlie knows we're packing into
Her Majesty's Theatre today, right?

- Oh, absolutely.
No, I made that very clear.

Smoothie?

- (SIGHS)

(SLURPS, GAGS)

(DRUM ROLL, MUSICAL TRILL)

- Permission to touch the book?
(CHUCKLES)

- Have you told Jacqui the news?
- Uh� Oh, yes, definitely. I have thought about when I will tell her.

- She's gonna be pissed.
- Where do I sign?

- Here.
- Ah.

Mm-hm.
- And sign...

here.
- Great.

OK, over to you.

(STATIC SCREECHES)
- AMPLIFIED: Super Sunday is now live.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

- # Super Sunday,
Super, Super Sunday.

# Gonna be a really
frickin' fun day.

# Be a helper, yeah,
don't be a hater.

# Gotta move your stuff
to the the-atre.

- ALL: # Super Sunday,
Super, Super Sunday.

- # Gotta be packed in
before the Monday.

- # Watch the book
and no one take the mickey.

- # Do your job, shut up,
listen to Nicky.

- # Super Sunday,
Super, Super Sunday.

# One of those
just-gotta-get-it-done days.

# Take it all and don't
forget your name badge.

# Pack your stuff �
we're getting into Her Maj.

- # Super Sunday, Super, Super Sunday.
- # I just really love Sunday, yeah.

- # Super Sunday,
Super, Super Sunday. - # Super Sunday.

- # Super Sunday,
Super, Super Sunday.

- # It's not a Wednesday...
- # Super Sunday.

- # ...but specifically
Super Sunday. - # Super, Super Sunday. #

- Yeah.

(STATIC SCREECHES)
- Right, let's go.

- Right.

# It's not a Wednesday.

# Specifically Super Sunday. #
- Ah. - Coming!

- So it's a new sequence?
- Not at all. It's an upgrade.

Like an iPhone.
- We've packed everything up.

- Do you know where the word
'rehearse' comes from? - Ooh, the dictionary!

- Comes from the French
'rehercier' �

to turn over, like the soil.
Because we're farmers, Ezra.

We're archaeologists.
Our work is never done.

We're constantly hunting for new discoveries,
finding new gems in the dirt.

- Nicky says if I don't have
the costumes in the truck by 11.45,

she's going to hog tie me
to a lighting bar.

- I'm just a son trying to make his
mother's mythical birthing scene special.

- Oh, beautiful. I feel like Cassandra
would be there as well, by the way. (GIGGLES)

- Animatronic snakes?!
- I'll get Connor to do it.

What if we just used the tunics
from the Trojan Council?

Exactly.

I am gonna need them
dyed electric blue.

- Oh, don't worry about it, Charlie.
Ezra has got plenty of time.

- Goes without saying that
you two are my favourites. - (GIGGLES)

- (CHUCKLES, GIGGLES)

(SQUEAKS PLAYFULLY)

- It's just a splinter.
- Yeah, but it's in your hand.

Could get infected. You could get sepsis and lose it.
- It doesn't even hurt.

- On average, 38 people a day
get one of their hands amputated. - Whoa.

- I would've thought, like, 16, max.

- Connor! Whoo! My man. (CHUCKLES)
What do you know about animatronic snakes?

Gloria, I've finally worked out
Hecuba's dream sequence.

- Oh, I thought you
were happy with it.

- Well, I just think it could
be so much more, you know?

I really think it could
go as far as Brisbane.

Oh, that's the horse.

- NICKY ON P.A.: Please remember
to stay hydrated through the day.

- What do you think?

- I think �

and don't take this the wrong way �

it's got a slight
Swedish sauna vibe.

- I'm an electrician, not a builder.

- Yeah, that's become clear.

(EXHALES) OK, Gloria,
meet me in the rehearsal room.

Connor � uh, make it better.

- NICKY ON P.A.: Drivers with station
wagons, please make your way to the foyer.

- (GASPS)
- My moving team are coming this afternoon,

so I'll just box up my dressing room
and get out of your way.

- Jacqui, Nicky has something
she wants to tell you.

- Due to the size of the cast, you will be
sharing a dressing room at Her Majesty's this year.

- Sharing?

- With Mia.

- And it's lovely. I wouldn't even call it a dressing
room, really. I mean, it's more like a studio.

Well, it's an apartment, essentially.
Yeah. (CHUCKLES) - Apartment. (CHUCKLES)

- And we can put up a partition,
like a Japanese silkscreen. - Silkscreen.

- Ladies... (CHUCKLES)

I'm a professional, OK?
I'm happy to share.

- Really?

- It'll be fun.

Just like... school camp.

- Nicky said only necessities.
- Uh, a small vase of lilies is a necessity.

- Um... how about we

lose the mini fridge?

- (GASPS) How would we keep
the champagne cold? - True.

- You know what? Let's just do the post
and I'll work on my war-rationing later.

- NICKY ON P.A.: We have locked
a child in the props cupboard. - (CLEARS THROAT)

- Hi-de-ho, Pizazz-keteers.

It's Jacqui James
from Jacqui James Real Estate �

lights, camera,

auction! (CHUCKLES)

There's only one more week till opening, so
it's time to slip, slop, swipe those credit cards

and secure your tickets to... (GASPS)

...the Trojan Horse.

It is an honour to be playing

the lead role

of Helen of Troy

for you all,

my fabulous people of Tauranga.

and I...

(GASPS)

Oh. (CHUCKLES) Mm.

...and (CHUCKLES)
it has been so much fun

sharing the stage

with new talent just

brimming with energy and...

opinions. (CHUCKLES)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

(DOOR OPENS)
We're busy.

- I need you in the rehearsal room �
both of you.

- (SCOFFS) It's Super Sunday, Charlie. We've
got more important things to do than rehearse a show.

- I have an entire dream sequence
to re-block� - And close the door �

out of respect for Mikaere's filming.

- NICKY ON P.A.: Correction � that's
a lost child in the props cupboard.

(DOOR SLAMS)

- Hurry up, Ezra.
- I can't rush this part. Just check the door.

- But we're fine. The coast is clear, OK? You're
gonna make sure Charlie knows I helped you, right?

- Just stand back.
(DYE TRICKLES) - Whoa, magic!

- (SIGHS) That's not electric blue like Charlie said.
At best, it's sapphire, maybe more azure.

(DOOR RASPS)

We're just, um, dyeing...

(STEAM WHISTLE BUILDS)

...and needed the stove.

- (GROWLS)

Just go slowly and show no fear.

(POT CLANGS, SLOSHES)

- Sorry, could you just...?

(DYE SLOSHES)

- (PLAYS MELANCHOLY CHORDS)
- DISTANTLY: Yup, yup, yup, yup. (CLATTERING)

- # In the midst of my slumber,

# I have this terrible dream.

# I wake up covered in spit.

# My body just aches.

# In this hideous nightmare,

# well, I just let out
a (VOICE CRACKS) scream...

(DISTANT CRASHING, SHOUTING)
# ...and give birth to a fiery torch

# covered in snakes. #

- Whoo!
- (SIGHS) Do you think it's a bit low, darling?

- Yeah, cos the key's the issue,
Mum (!) (CLEARS THROAT)

- (SINGS GROANINGLY)

- Not a zombie.
- Oh, that's a really good note, spunky (!)

- Stay in it, Mum.
- Oh, sorry, darling.

- (STRAINED GROANING)

You know, I was constipated the whole
time I was pregnant with pud. - Mum!

Uh, stop. You�
- Sorry. Gotta go.

- OK, no. We can all stop, cos there's no way
I can do this without the whole ensemble present.

- Oh, well, darling, everyone's
helping Nicky with the pack-in.

- It's as if she doesn't realise that Hecuba's
dream sequence is the turning point of the entire show.

The climax, the denouement,
the moment of raw emotion.

- Maybe we could try it in B flat.
- Yes! (HINGES SQUEAK)

- How am I meant to work
under these conditions?

- Um... Oh, you know what? You said there were snakes.
Maybe they were tap-dancing snakes.

(HISSES RHYTHMICALLY)

(SPEAKER CRACKLES)
- NICKY ON P.A.: Morning tea is now initiated.

- Oh my God.
(DISTANT CRASHING, YELLING)

Nicky, this is our last day
in rehearsals before we go to the big theatre.

- That was Wednesday, when you made everyone do
the show blindfolded. - That was a listening exercise.

- OK.

Stand by, guys.

Press that.

(LOW-QUALITY HORSE NEIGHING,
HOOF CLOPPING EFFECTS PLAY)

Just an idea. Happy to lose it.

Press that one.

(MOTOR STARTS)

(VAPOUR HISSES)

- Why is it vaping?

- That's meant to happen a bit
later. Just give me a mo.

- Oh...
(NEIGHING CONTINUES)

(GRUNTS)

All right. No. I have seen enough.

- I can keep working on it.
- Oh, no.

It's not your fault.
You did the best you could.

But I have made my decision �
we are cancelling the horse.

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

(MOTOR CUTS OUT, HORSE SNORTS)

- He's not serious about
cancelling the horse, is he?

- Well, he's your son.
(CLATTERING)

- Well, if I know Tauranga � and I
do � they are gonna want a big horse.

I'll just talk to him.
I'll put my foot down. - Really? You'd do that?

- What, you don't think I should? Oh, well, that settles it.
I mean, you're the stage manager. I won't.

(ALARM BUZZES)

- Oh.

ON P.A.: All props should now be in
their boxes and stacked by wall F.

Excuse me.

(FORLORN MUSIC)

(CLATTERING)
- (GRUNTS)

I just heard the news.

- He's right.

It's not good enough.

- It's wonderful.

- I'm an electrician who can't
even wire up a smoke machine.

Watch your hand. There are nails.
- Oh.

(CHUCKLES) Look, it's all healed.
See?

(MUSIC PULSES, BUILDS)

- Can't do this.

- I knew it.

Is it because I'm in a position of
power and you think I'm abusing it?

Because I don't wanna Harvey Weinstein you.
I mean, I've been trying to deny my feelings,

and I didn't even wanna
do the duet anyway,

because I felt it was too sexual,

but Charlie made me.
- Gloria.

It's not you.

You're perfect.

But we can never do this again.

- Why not?

- You wouldn't understand.
I can't be here right now.

(FORLORN MUSIC CONCLUDES)

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS)

- # I am the very model
of a modern major general.

# I've information vegetable,
animal and mineral.

- # I know the kings of England
and I quote the fights historical

# from Marathon to Waterloo
in orders categorical. #

(MUSIC STOPS)
- Drink. - Drink.

- What?
- Order. You said 'orders'.

- Bitches.
(MIKAERE AND JACQUI LAUGH)

- Charlie.
- Hey! Kia ora, boss.

- You're up.
- You're meant to be in rehearsals.

- Uh, we're doing vocal training.

(SINGS) # Aren't we, boys? #
- MIKAERE AND ADAM HARMONISE: # Aren't we, boys? #

- It's Sunday. You're here to work,
not play games.

- Let's play another game, then �
Truth or Dare. I choose true.

Sally Fields broke her wrist.
- Jacqui.

- Let me help, sis. It goes �
(MUSIC RESUMES)

(SINGS) # I'm very well acquainted
too with matters mathematical.

- # I understand equations
both the simple and quadratical.

- # About binomial theorem,
I'm teeming with a lot of news.

- If you're not in my rehearsal
soon, then I will kill the lot of youse.

- ALL: # If not in my rehearsal soon, then I will
kill the lot of youse. (SINGING DROWNS OUT SPEECH)

# If not in my rehearsal soon,
then I will kill the lot of youse.

# If you're not at my rehearsal soon,
then I will kill the lot of, lot of youse! #

- NICKY ON P.A.: Mikaere, you are
needed in the service bay immediately.

- Will drop.
- Absolutely not. - OK.

(CACKLES DELIRIOUSLY)

- Where's Connor?
- Um, he had to run away.

Not because of me. It d-didn't
have anything to do with me.

And I wouldn't even call it a run,
to be honest. It was more like a brisk walk.

- OK, can we just get started,
at least?

- (YELPS)

Nobody can see a piano here,
can they?

- Oh, um, Nicky already
put it on the truck, so...

- (WHEEZES)
- Can you not�

- NICKY ON P.A.: The Greek naval fleet is
now been transported in Gary's van, not Steve's.

- It's fine. It's absolutely fine.
We will just use a backing track.

(ECHOEY, EERIE TONES PLAY)

- Oh, she's moody.
- (GIGGLES)

- Just get into positions.

- Should we get that bottle?
- Mm-hm.

(FEEDBACK WHINES)

- You're doing such a good job,
piglet.

- Ow!
(THUD! FEEDBACK WHINES)

(EERIE MUSIC GETS LOUDER)

(MUSIC CONTINUES THROUGH P.A.)

(MUSIC STUTTERS)

- Once the light�

SHOUTS: Once the lights are
on board, the truck will start loading the horse.

(FEEDBACK WHINES)
- Who needs music?

We'll just do it without.

Where is everyone?

- SOUTHERN TWANG: Well,
this is a real nice clambake.

- NICKY ON P.A.: Lighting team, you
are now 12 minutes behind schedule.

- I'm gonna kill her.
I'm gonna kill her!

- Somebody help him. Help him!
- Hey, Patrick, can you bring me the tie-down?

- You have screwed me.

- Move to the side. Horse head coming through.
- No, I cancelled the horse.

- In the logbook, it says � 'Horse transported
to Her Majesty's Theatre, 1500 hours.'

- Well, I don't care about your goddamn logbook.
I am trying to create a work of art.

- Art is not in the schedule.

- Well, maybe I'm sick of your schedule.
(GRUNTS) - Don't you touch that.

- Hm. I see how it is.

You don't like people
messing with your schedule. (SHOES SQUEAK)

(GRUNTS, GROANS)

- The truck has only been hired
for half a day.

- HIGH-PITCHED: 'The truck is only hired for a half a day.
' - My voice is much deeper than that.

- I am the...

director!

- Ah!
(SPLASH!)

- (GASPS)
- (GASPS)

- Oh my God. Oh my God, where's the
towel, Mia? Please give me a towel, please.

- Take it, girl.
- (GASPS)

(WATER SLOSHES)

- Now I can see why you
were fired from Cats. (SHOCKED GASPS)

- You were fired?
(WHISPERING)

- This is not what I come here for.

I'm out.

- You can't quit.

Adrian's the only one who quits.

- Mum, I�
- Don't.

- (PANTS)

- You OK?

- GASPS: No.

- Well, if I could just explain�
- How could you?

- Well, I wanted to tell you.
I just�

- Super Sunday is everyone's
favourite day, Charles, and you have ruined it.

- OK, if we could (CHUCKLES) maybe
just focus on what's important�

- People come to Pizazz because they
love being here. Do you get that?

No one's getting paid.
We've all got jobs.

We do this because
it makes us happy.

- I need you to know that I wasn't fired � not technically.
The producers invited me to leave.

And yeah, OK, maybe that sounds like the
same thing, but it's actually very different�

- You have become a selfish, arrogant man-
child, and I did not raise you to behave like that.

- No, you just used me to create a
nice little life for yourself here.

- What life?

I was working two jobs to
pay for your tap lessons.

I mortgaged my house
to get you to New York.

I gave you my entire life.
- LAUGHS: Then have it back. God.

- And now you come in to Pizazz,
which is my thing now,

and you bully all my friends
who are just doing their best.

- Their best?

ON P.A.: This � this is their best?
- ON P.A.: Yes.

- You've got a 17-year-old
running your costume department

who currently looks like
an oversized Smurf.

Your composer's a high school music teacher
who's, I don't know, a high school music teacher?

Half of Pizazz are more interested
in tea breaks than dance breaks.

Your tenors are running around
acting like Timon and Pumbaa.

Mia is less ingenue
and more 'inge-no',

and your leading lady is
a talentless, washed-up old hack.

It is all just

so amateur!

- (SNIFFLES)

- And I think you should leave.

- Yeah, I couldn't agree more.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC)

- ON P.A: It was meant to be
Super Sunday.

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

- (CLEARS THROAT)

- # Super Sunday,
Super, Super Sunday.

# Gonna be a really frickin'� #
- No. Too� Too soon.

(BIRDS TWITTER)

(DOOR CREAKS)

(DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC PLAYS)

- Well, well, well.

Captions by Rebecca Scholtz.

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