Original subtitles

* Hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Hey-hey-yeh, hey, yeh

Yeah!

* Well, I've been chasing you around night and day *

* Spending a fortune on makeup and hair spray *

* 'Cause I know that you're the perfect one for me *

* And all I want

* Is that you show me how good love can be *

* Hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Hit me with your lovething *

* Hey, hey-yeh, hey, yeh

* Oh, whoa, whoa, ha

* Hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Hit me with your lovething *

* Hey, hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Mm-hmm-hmm

[general chatter]

Do you think they're done yet?

God, already? I hope not.

[panting]

* Hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Hit me with your lovething *

Oh! Oh! Nnn! Oh--

Ohh!

* Hit me with your lovething *

* Hey, hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Mm-hmm-hmm

Oh, my God.

I don't know. Maybe we should check it out.

Okay.

Yeah!

* Hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Hit me with your lovething *

* Hey, hey-yeh, hey-yeh [Young Woman] How do I get this thing out?

[Young Woman #2] Stream, are we 18 or what?

Just hook it from the inside, bear down, and pull.

Thanks. Not now.

You have to keep it in for six hours.

I thought you needed it back.

Stream, she can wait. Go put it back in.

Fast.

She reminds me of when I was a girl.

You used a condom, too, right?

Of course. I'm not suicidal.

* When my head starts turning 'round and 'round *

* And I start to growl like a mad bloodhound *

* Well, don't get scared or angry with me *

* A cure of soothing love

* That's the secret recipe

* Hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Hit me with your lovething *

* Hey, hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Hit me with your lovething *

* Hey, hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Oh, whoa, whoa, now

[Young woman] So how was it?

It was great.

God, you must be so relieved.

Yeah, I was terrified

I'd be the last virgin in the senior class.

Well, you definitely picked the right guy.

I mean, Chad is a hottie, and God knows he's connected.

[humming]

[knock knock]

Mm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

[spitting]

Oogh.

Ohh...

[sigh]

* ...the rhythm coming o-on *

* Seize the moment

* Make use of it before it's gone *

So did it hurt?

I felt like I had a porcupine shoved up me

after the first time.

It hurt a little...

but I loved it.

Welcome to being a woman.

[gag]

* Hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Hit me with your lovething *

* Hey, hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Oh, whoa, whoa, now

* Hey-yeh, hey-yeh

* Hit me with your lovething *

* Hey, hey-yeh, hey-yeh

[groan]

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Wake up, party girl. It's noon.

So are pajamas passé now?

Yeah, I'm a real trendsetter.

I brought you some coffee.

Oh, I can't. I'm off caffeine, remember?

That's right. Caffeine is so toxic.

Sorry, honey. I forgot.

That's okay.

Can I have a therapist?

Honey, you know we've talked about this.

Just because all the other kids are in therapy

does not mean you need to be.

I know, but I--

I think...

you are just as well-adjusted...

as anyone else your age.

[exhale]

Maybe more so.

Unless there's something you haven't told me.

I mean, is there?

No.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I mean...

you just don't understand

how hard it is to be a senior these days, Mom.

So you think I should pull a Frida Kahlo

over the fact that he didn't call me?

Maybe he felt too vulnerable.

What the-- Can you believe this?

How bad are my circles?

Very Kate Moss during heroin chic.

My mother kept me up all night last night

obsessing over whether she should marry Irving

now that he asked her to sign a prenup.

What did you advise?

I told her to hold out for more.

Marrying money is the only thing she does well.

Why should she sell herself short?

Curiously strong mint?

So now that you and Chad have hooked up,

do you think you're going out

or just having sex?

I don't know. I guess I should ask him.

What about you and Louie, or you and Petrus?

Are you...going out or just having sex?

We're definitely going out.

We're going way out.

Are you sure Petrus isn't a fag?

Yes, I'm sure. He's just European.

Oh, crap, you guys. We should go.

[bell rings]

[Young woman] I respect your opinion, sir,

and I just can't fathom

why you would give me such a low grade.

An A-minus?

Well, yeah. It totally brings down my average,

and I fully intend on getting into Yale, sir.

Hey, Nell. Yeah, whatever.

"Yeah, whatever"?

Nell, every guy in this school is hot for you.

Hey. Darling.

And Petrus here is missing a chromosome.

Why are you such a freak?

I'm not into beefcake.

Time management, girls. Time management.

All right, let's wipe our minds

clear of fantasy, if that's possible,

and get down to reality.

Jennifer Simon,

what did you do to get into college today?

Well, I explored cross-culture communication

with my maid, Maria Josefa.

Hmm. Good try, but, uh, a bit transparent.

College admission committees are trained

to sniff out bullshit.

Not that we couldn't blow smoke in that direction,

that's what I'm here for,

but we have to start with the basis of reality.

Anyone else?

Yeah, uh...well,

Senator Dimatto had dinner

at my parents' house last night,

and, uh, I got him to write me a recommendation.

Ah. Now that's more like it.

Now, that's using your assets.

Y-Y-You mean your father's assets,

right? Yeah? Hmm?

Uh, what about you, Mr. Rockefeller?

Rockefeller?

Do you plan to take the SATs again?

I've told you.

I don't use the name Rockefeller.

I go by Lipschitz.

Well, Henry D. Rockefeller is a legacy.

Uh, Henry Lipschitz is, uh, not.

So I hope when the time comes,

there'll be no confusion what name you put on your application.

He changed his name freshman year.

So Emilio Estevez.

All right. Now let's begin

by reading the introduction to my book,

warm off the press,

and I think it's an easy read

and very easy to understand, I assure you.

And please take note of the title:

Getting In. Shall we begin?

Stream Hodsell.

"In my 15 years of experience

"as a college counselor

"in the finest prep schools on the East Coast,

"I am increasingly amazed at the level of competition

"to get into good colleges and universities.

"For every one spot, there are 100 qualified applicants,

"and yet last year I got 40% of my seniors

"into Harvard, Yale, or Princeton,

"and 70% into the Ivy League.

How do I do it? Marketing."

Hey, gorgeous.

Hi.

Why don't you meet me in the equipment closet

in a couple of minutes?

But I have calculus.

I know. Why?

I know, but, uh...

I really need to talk to you.

[panting]

[Young man] Yeah...Ohh...

Nn-nn-nn-nn er-er-er-er!

Rrrr!

Ohh! Ohh!

Aah!

Ohh!

Aah!

* He's a heartbreaker

* A mover and a shaker

* The magic piper of love

* It's kinda hard to swallow *

* You know you've got to follow *

* The magic piper of love

* 'Cause he's a city slicker *

* An expert politicker

* The magic piper of love

Oh, God.

That was great.

Yeah.

* Of love

* Of love

So how's Chad?

I don't know.

He's the bomb, but...

I don't know. Maybe I'm doing something wrong.

The whole sex thing is kind of a drag.

A drag? I thought you were in a total state of bliss.

Well, it's novel.

But I think I like third base better.

Well, I mean, sure, third base is great.

I mean, really doing it

takes a while to get used to.

But then you'll love it.

Really?

You guys love it?

Yeah.

It's sex.

[Woman] Jennifer, darling.

I couldn't help but overhear.

The intercom was on.

Mother, privacy, please.

You're not respecting my boundaries.

Oh, darling, I think it's just adorable

that you're exploring your sexuality.

Really, I just love it.

Could you not be so fucking patronizing?

Well, there's nothing to be ashamed of, Jennifer.

Plenty of women don't enjoy sex,

and I'll tell you why right now.

Because they're not climaxing.

They've never experienced the deepest female pleasure.

[Jennifer] We don't need your insight, Dr. Ruth.

I had countless lovers

who thought that female orgasm

was some sort of Chinese paper folding.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I mean, utterly without a clue.

What do you mean?

Look, it's the '90s, okay?

There's an article in Cosmo, like, every month

about female orgasm, so...

Cosmo.

How do you expect to learn anything

from those bony girls with breast implants?

Okay, out. Out, out, out, out.

Oh, oh, Jennifer--

You're such a freak.

I'm sorry.

[door closes]

* I've got no more time for you *

* Your deception I've outgrew *

* But I'm sure there's still some unsuspecting ears *

* Well, it's a good thing that you get around *

* 'Cause you're just too big for this small town *

* And knowing you, you'd bring 'em all to tears *

* Low

* Real

* Low down

* Low

* Real

* Low down

J'adore le croissant...

mais je préfère la baguette.

Maintenant en français.

Maintenant, parlez.

Parlez en français.

Allez-y. Allez-y.

Est-que vous avais jamais voyager en France?

Listen, Jen, I think your mom's right.

I'm not orgasming.

What? No.

How can you have sex without orgasming?

I don't think this is appropriate conversation.

Non, non, non! En français!

We must be with the French.

Je veux l'orgasme.

That means I want an orgasm.

No shit.

Ooh, là l! Qu'est-ce que c'est, ça?

Maintenant...

Stream.

Oui, Renée, je suis allée en France.

Trés bien.

Maintenant...

Nell?

Moi aussi.

J'ai visité la France,

et je l'ai beaucoup aimée.

Bon.

Jenny.

Oui.

Uh...

Oui.

Foie gras.

Non.

Non.

Pas bien.

Pas bien.

I don't know why I do so badly in this class.

I have a real connection with the French.

I mean, come on.

All my favorite shirts are from Agnes B.

How can you be sure you do?

Stream, we've been having sex a lot longer than you have.

We've been doing it since we were 15.

When you were going on hayrides in Vermont,

we were busy getting laid.

You mean every time you guys have sex,

you experience "increased heat and tingliness

"that leads to a feeling of inevitability,

"and then a dam-breaking burst

"of piercing pleasure and muscle spasms,

followed by trembling and diminishing shudders"?

That about sums it up.

More or less.

I guess it's just me, then.

Don't feel inadequate.

You just need to loosen up.

Right. Well, according to the experts,

I should increase my relationships for my sensuality,

develop my fantasy life,

and more fully communicate my needs to my partner.

Don't be too bossy and make your partner lose his erection.

Mmm.

Dick, I know I'm just a shareholder now,

but I love this company,

and you're running it into the ground.

You got to be kidding if you think

people are gonna buy avocado-flavored toothpaste.

No. Yeah. I know we're all-natural,

but this is disgusting.

No, I'm not wigging out.

I'm trying to communicate with you

from a very centered place,

and save us all from financial ruin.

Oh, really?

Well, you can just kiss my ass

if that's what I get for trying to help.

[click, dial tone]

He hung up.

Can you believe that?

Well, you did tell him to kiss your ass.

Yeah. As if no one ever told him that before.

Well, you're the one who's so committed to communication.

Why don't you try to be more diplomatic?

We don't negotiate with terrorists.

All right. I have rage. Sorry. I have rage.

Mom, you seem stressed out.

Maybe we should take a vacation,

go to Vermont for the weekend.

I can't be in the same state as your father.

I'm sorry. No. Vermont is a nest of bad memories.

Look at you. You look so pretty.

Are you going out with that boy

whose father made all those Mafia movies?

Yeah, Chad. Chad.

Who's your date with?

A most cultured and sophisticated man.

A potter from South Africa.

For an amateur, your mother has a very good eye.

She was immediately drawn to my work.

Bartholomew's quite a successful artist.

I saw his show at MOMA,

and I just immediately-- I felt,

I don't know. You just have so much to teach me.

Oh, thank you.

But you want to be a photographer.

Well, of course, Stream.

That's what's so fascinating about it.

Yes. Very few people understand

how difficult it is

to express human suffering in ceramics.

That is true.

Very, very true.

Really, that's so true.

Extremely true.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Really true.

Yeah.

So, honey, what do you and Chad have planned for tonight?

I'm not sure.

We might be going for drinks

with his dad and Barbra Streisand.

Barbra Streisand. Ooh!

I wonder if she might sing a song.

You never know.

Chad?

* Walkin' is a way out

* Drivin' is a way out

* Flyin' is a way out...

Okay.

Right, then.

What must we never ever forget?

The people who write the SATs

are not as smart as I am.

Correct.

Instead of panicking,

choose B or D.

Yes.

And remember,

it's almost never E.

Exactly.

Thanks, man.

Thank me after you get your scores.

Hey, baby.

Is that the thousand-dollar- an-hour guy?

Afshin. Yeah. He's fucking worth it, though.

My brother's scores went up 200 points last year.

I wish I could get my parents to pay for him.

I'm taking them again, too.

Why? You got a 1450.

Yeah. My dad wants me to break 1500.

He's got this fantasy

that somehow I'll get a scholarship

if I can hit some magical percentile.

Whoa.

Cruel world.

Well, I do want to get into the best school I can,

so I might as well try, right?

Nell's parents are making her take them again,

and she got a-- 1510, right?

They'll have her committed if she doesn't get into Yale.

That's so sick.

You want wine?

Sure.

Barbra had to cancel.

My dad went to a screening,

so, uh, we have all night

to, uh...hang out.

Great.

You know...

I've been thinking a lot

about myself as a woman.

So have I.

Oh. Thanks.

Well, anyway,

I feel like, um...

it'd be good--

I'd-- I'd like to communicate--

Us to communicate.

Sure. Sure.

What is it?

It's sort of about sex.

[doorbell buzzes]

Hold on a sec.

That's Dial-a-Weed.

I called before you came.

Dial-a-Weed?

So what was that you were saying about sex?

Well...

it's no big deal or anything.

[coughing]

Well...

it's just, you know...

I feel like-- I notice--

I just want...

I love you.

* Deadly sniper You do?

* The magic piper of love [sniff]

Wow.

* The magic piper of love

* Of love

* Of love

Mmm... * My girlfriend, she go blotto *

* Of cunnings and his grotto *

* It turns out he's a dirty old man *

* The nice place that I want to be *

* Is set upon his Christmas tree *

* While playing these games of catch as catch can *

Mmm.

* 'Cause he's a sweet talker *

* A silent stalker

Um... Okay, okay.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Oh, Louie!

Ah. Oh!

Oh!

Maybe we should fool around.

Why? Do you want to?

Me?

You brought it up.

No, I-- I just--

I just didn't want to be rude.

I'm not really in the mood right now.

Don't you want to see my new iguana?

Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

Okay.

* Our lives she rearranged forever... *

I swear to God,

aloe vera soap was my idea.

Now he won't even let me be part of running the company.

So now, you know, when people go to buy Dick and Judy's,

all they're really getting is Dick.

It's a challenge to stay positive.

Oh... How's that?

Very good.

How's your kidney feel?

Oh, much better.

You know, an artist must never descend

to the petty brouhaha of real life.

When did you divorce?

Two years ago. Mmm.

I came to New York to live with Stream,

and he stayed up in Vermont

with his pin-headed new girlfriend.

Mmm.

Of course, we're still great friends.

That's good. That's very mature. Mm.

Oh...

Ohh!

I'm sorry I took so long.

Oh, that's okay.

You know, I have this friend Stream.

Oh, my heart goes out to her.

She's so sexually unfulfilled.

She just can't climax. It's awful.

I do the best I can to give her advice,

but...I don't know.

Sometimes I feel like...

some people are innately sensual,

and some just aren't, you know?

Does your friend masturbate?

Masturbate?

Well, no. She's not desperate or anything.

I mean, she does have a boyfriend.

[Woman] Each section is timed

at 30 minutes.

We will give you a five-minute warning

before each section is finished.

Do not work on any section

other than the one you are supposed to be working on.

Remember to breathe.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

[Woman] All right.

You may now open your test booklets.

Time's up.

Place your answer sheets inside your test booklets

and pass them to the end of the table

for a proctor to collect.

Do not leave your seat

until a proctor has collected your test booklet.

I did not expect Allen Ginsberg to show up

in Reading Comprehension.

It was my happiest moment.

The universe is a new flower.

The secrets of individual imagination

are not for sale.

I love that.

Me, too.

Hey.

Let's celebrate.

Yeah, let's go.

Oh, you know, I think

that the thousand bucks for Afshin

really paid off.

I just kicked ass in there.

What made you think you blew it?

I totally forgot what "quiddity" meant.

I thought it was what makes things the same,

not what makes a thing distinct.

Well, I've got something that will cheer you up.

I got this from a friend of mine.

Who?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

What is it?

Is it ecstasy?

Yeah.

We take it now,

and we have a really wild time later.

* I wanna love you, baby *

* All night long

* I want to hold you, baby *

* All night long

* I want to squeeze you, baby *

* All night long

* I want to please you, baby *

* All night long

* I want to love you, baby *

* All night long...

Whoa.

Oh--

We can't go home.

My-- My dad is-- Is throwing a party for my mom.

It's what he does

every time she catches him cheating on her.

Oops!

Oh, Dad!

So, uh, just, uh, drive around,

and we'll have some privacy now.

[Driver] Yes, sir.

Ro-o-oap!

Well...

uh...this seems, uh, pretty comfy.

Yes. This seat is... so soft.

Feels fantastic.

Mmm...

Ohh...

Oh, listen.

That thing I wanted to tell you.

Oh, right. That thing.

I've never had an orgasm.

Ah!

I don't get it. You're kidding, right?

Nope.

Whoa!

Whoa.

That's an ego blow.

No.

No, no, it's not your fault.

My-- M--

Well, of course it's not my fault.

Still, though, I think, uh...

I think maybe I should do something about it.

* Let me love you, love you *

* All night long

* Let me hold you, hold you *

* All night long

* Let me squeeze you, squeeze you *

* All night long

* Let me please you, baby *

* All night long

* I want to love you, baby *

* All night long

* Like it used to be

* All night long

[Chad] Oh, yeah.

Oh...

How does it...feel?

[Stream] Mmm, good.

This is the best...

carpet I've ever felt.

My ass is in heaven. Yeah.

Ah! Ah! Ahh!

Ahhh! Wait...

Don't stop!

What? I think I was getting closer, but...

W-W-What are you talking about?

You totally came.

I did?

Congratulations. Details.

How was it different?

Well, it was a totally heightened sense

of female pleasure. That's right. Exactly.

It's all about being relaxed.

We were definitely relaxed.

We did X. Oh.

Yeah, well, drugs always help, I guess.

[sigh]

I'm doing it.

I will allow my parents

to live vicariously through me.

I'm applying for early admissions to Yale.

Ah. Very nice, very nice.

Harvard. Early.

Ah.

Me, too. Early to Brown.

Oh.

Is it against the rules

to have my stepfather's secretary

type up my application form?

Uh, Jennifer, I don't think

your grades or your scores on your SATs,

which you chose not to retake,

will get you in early to Brown.

It's okay. My father bought me a learning disability.

What the hell is that?

It's an official statement

from a highly regarded education specialist

that says my low SAT scores and my mediocre grades

are in no way a reflection of my intelligence.

I have Attention Deficit Disorder.

Oh, so that's what they call people

who get distracted at the winter sale at Barney's

on the day of a physics test.

I saved thousands at that sale.

And what about you, sir, hmm?

What name have you put on your application?

My name is Lipschitz.

Well, I appreciate your integrity,

but don't you think that's a bit rash,

considering the importance of the situation?

Look, if I can't get into Yale on my own merits,

then I--

I don't want to go.

Oh, well, I hope you're happy with Sarah Lawrence.

Yeah, I hear they have a great finger-painting department.

I don't have to remind you, I hope,

that your early applications are due November 15,

which means those of you who get them in early

will have a month to brush up on your weak areas.

Uh, Stream, what about, uh,

what about your extracurricular activities, hmm?

Uh, well, um...

How you doing? Can I get a hot soup?

Hey. So why did you change your name?

I have a prison record.

You do?

No. I'm kidding.

I made it up.

Oh.

Actually, it's my mom's name.

I didn't want to ride my dad's luxury train the rest of my life.

Barely know the guy.

Oh. I see.

I'll take a doughnut. Do you want a doughnut?

No, thanks.

One doughnut.

Listen, uh...

do you want to go hear some music sometime?

Uh, I don't think I should.

I'm kind of seeing Chad.

Why?

What?

Why would you want to go out with that guy?

Well...I like him.

Do you?

Yeah.

Really?

I do.

But maybe all three of us

could go hear some music sometime.

Only if you promise he won't name-drop once all night.

I can't promise that.

See?

One coffee, black.

Here you go.

Where's your drink?

I don't like to waste calories on beverages,

but I'll have a sip of yours.

It is so great to finally be orgasmic.

[chuckle]

Does it show?

Well, where exactly should I be looking?

At my face, bitch.

Ooh, "bitch."

So urbane.

Well, you certainly look self-satisfied,

if that's what you mean.

So when you were trying to have an orgasm,

did you ever masturbate?

Masturbate? Not really.

I didn't think so.

I mean, it's so weird.

Every time I try, I just get bored and fall asleep.

Yeah. It's just not my style.

I think it's mostly for people who never get out.

[phone rings]

Mmm.

Life is so unfair.

[ring]

[ring]

Oh, how can you stand

to be in the same Jacuzzi as my cellulite?

You are so nuts.

[ring]

[ring]

Hello.

Who is it?

Yes, this is she.

Look, I'm not interested.

I just went on a cruise last summer.

Mine went to Europe.

No, I'm not interested.

I'm in the middle of a Jacuzzi.

I am not interested.

I am gonna hang up on you.

I'm not interested.

Do you get paid to be this obnoxious?

Oh, my God.

What the hell happened to you?

Guess what.

I was wrong.

Hi, baby.

Look, Chad, did you really think

I had an orgasm in your limo,

or were you just ready to come?

What the fuck kind of question is that? Well, I didn't, and I think

it's very manipulative of you to tell me I did.

Yeah? Well, fuck you.

Come on, Nell.

Don't you think it's a little weird

that Stream needed aquatherapy

to have her breakthrough?

I mean, I go off like a rocket

the second Louie caresses me.

[coughing]

Ahem.

[coughing]

[coughing]

[cough]

[coughing]

Excuse me.

[coughing]

Oh!

Listen, Jen,

I think maybe we should stop seeing each other.

What? Why?

We're not connecting in bed.

It's like-- You know what I mean?

Our sex life's empty.

Empty?

So then I told him it was over.

I felt stifled.

Watch it!

Hey!

Anyway, so we were just sitting there, and--

Stream, are you even listening to me?

Yeah. I'm stunned. I thought you were in love with Louie.

Well, I wasn't.

Could you please stop staring

at Mr. Fashion Nightmare over there?

I think he's funny.

I think he smells.

I've got a confession to make.

What?

[coach's whistle blows]

Okay, ladies, come on, chop-chop.

Move it.

Sitting on your rumps and yapping

ain't playing volleyball.

Urinary tract infections, Mr. Neipris.

Urinary tract infection?

[Jenny] Sorry.

So what's the confession?

I got to face reality. I don't like sex, either.

What? Oh, God, don't tell me you're not climaxing, too.

It's just the sad truth.

Wow, Jen. You're the only one of us

who's gotten off with a guy.

Well...

I've been having doubts, too.

I mean, to be honest,

sex with Louie was kind of a drag.

Now that I think about it,

I think I spent most of coitus

figuring out what color I wanted

for my next manicure.

Oh, my God.

Prozac?

Wait.

If none of us has ever had it with a guy,

then who has?

Well, those losers sure haven't.

* It's time to go

* It's time to blast off

* It's time to go, go, go *

* It's time to blast off

* It's time to go

* It's time to blast off

Not that I'm impressed,

but Keanu Reeves just walked through the door.

[Stream] Where?

By the bar.

Did we order that?

It's a two-bottle minimum at each table.

$500?

Just put it on your dad's card.

It's only 200 each.

200-- I really shouldn't.

Stream, you have to live in the now.

We're here tonight to find butter boys,

and the best butter boys come here.

We have to upgrade the level of sophistication

of the guys we're dealing with

if we want to be sexually fulfilled.

We're wasting valuable energy with these high school kids.

How come no buttery boys

are stopping by to visit us?

I know, and we look so hot.

Hey, go out there and get us some.

Why me?

You're the skinniest.

You're the richest.

Oh, my God.

Keanu's friend's coming over here.

Excuse me. Do you model?

Well, actually, yes.

I have done some catalog work.

Swimsuits, mostly.

Actually, I was talking to you.

Call me.

What is this, a joke?

Elitist Models? Wow.

Probably a fake.

Thanks. Come back soon.

This is the best kind.

Actually, I would have to disagree.

Macouns are the best.

Are they?

I like a little tartness to my apple,

just like the next guy--

not quite to the degree of Granny Smith,

but something more subtle, like Cortland or Empire.

Empire? What about Fuji?

Love Fuji.

Hard to find, though.

Check this out.

Tell me this isn't the best apple you've had all fall.

Delicious.

But try the Macoun.

Tame.

Tame?

Okay. It's...

it's playful...

zesty.

See? You know a lot about apples for a city boy.

Well, I, uh...

I took Outward Bound...

twice.

Impressive.

Thanks.

Come on.

Sorry.

You ever go apple picking?

You mean, uh, outside of the farmer's market?

Yeah. It's fun.

I missed it this year.

Well, there are still apples on the trees, right?

Let's go.

What, you mean right now?

Yeah. You and me, right now.

Let's get on a train.

Oh. Well...

What? You still got that A-list boyfriend of yours?

No, I don't.

But I'm supposed to meet my friends

in a half an hour.

They're waiting for me.

Oh, I forgot.

You do everything by committee, right?

Then I'm gonna go check out the squash.

As I'm sure you're aware,

this is the last week before the holidays,

and we still haven't written anything on Othello.

So I'm assigning an essay

to be handed in on Friday.

In five to ten pages,

present a careful exegesis of the structure of the play

with an emphasis on the dramatic tensions

that lead to the climax.

Another essay before Friday?

Doesn't she realize

we've got our own tensions leading to climax?

Channel it.

All right.

Now you can use the rest of the class

to prepare your positions.

What's this?

Random midmorning vanity?

I have an appointment.

That agent's sending me on a go-see.

Agent?

A go-see?

You're kidding, right?

What, so now you're dying to be a model?

I know it's weird.

It's just my parents got all excited about it,

so whatever.

[Woman] Studio.

Who's calling?

Let me check.

Sorry, sorry, baby dolls.

There's no time left.

I can only see one more.

Um...you.

Uh--

[Woman] Can I have him call you back?

Look back and tell me if my ass looks fat in this saddle.

I refuse to be your enabler.

Just look back and tell me

if my ass looks fat in this saddle.

[phone rings]

Whoa.

[ring]

Jennifer Simon.

What?

Is it Nell?

You bitch.

Oh, my God. You are such a bitch.

It's unbelievable.

Okay, bye.

She got a modeling job?

She's gonna be on the cover of YM.

That bitch.

She's not even that pretty.

Giddyup.

Well, that's fine. She'll never have an orgasm

with any of those male models.

They're way too self-involved.

Meow.

Well, it's not my fault if I'm bitter.

My mother's in rehab.

Which reminds me, her new sponsor Doug is so sexy.

Ethically, he can't go out with me,

but he's perfect for you.

Really? Why?

He's older. He's single.

And I'm sure-- Whoa.

I'm sure he has a lot of knowledge

about female pleasure.

Great. How old is he?

40-ish, but very well-preserved.

Trust me, he's really attractive.

Giddyup.

Okay.

[Stream] Look, Dad, I'm really sorry

I didn't break 1500 on my SATs,

but I'm not sure getting a scholarship was a realistic goal.

I mean, I'll be lucky

if I even get into one of those schools.

What are you talking about?

You're a genius.

I'm not.

I'm just a good student

at a good high school.

I mean, I'm probably not even eligible to get in.

They look at what your parents make--

Let 'em look, okay?

After what I give your mother every month,

I'm practically bankrupt.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, baby. Oh, baby.

I thought it was just gonna be us.

Oh. Do you mind if I just put this on the floor?

That's Stream's Christmas present.

Pretty good, huh?

Oh, yeah, I love it.

So, Stream, have you seen the new box?

Huh? What do you think, Stream?

A lot hipper than that stupid old shiny toothed squirrel.

Well, uh, it's, uh, different.

Don't be shy. I want your expertise.

We're targeting a younger market.

Well, um...

to be honest, Dad,

I think it's kind of...tacky.

Tacky?

Uh, she...she's a kid. What does she know?

I, uh...

Why, I appreciate your opinion, Stream. I do.

It's just...Well, you know, I'm a little sensitive

because it's my design.

And it's beautiful. It's so creative.

Look, I'm-- I'm sorry. Nobody told me.

No, it's okay.

It's really okay.

It's just--

It's just-- Oh, it really hurt my feelings!

Oh, who am I kidding? What do I know about design?

Oh, everybody misses that squirrel!

Not me. I hate that fucking squirrel.

Sweetheart, sweetheart.

Count me out of the older men idea.

Girls who go out with older men are freaks.

[Jenny] No, they're not.

They're sophisticated.

Well, this chick Mimi has obvious emotional problems,

and the whole thing made my dad look like a letch.

Did you say Daddy's a letch?

Hold on. Not really. Sort of.

Boy, I think so, too.

Where'd you get this? It's so cute.

Stream--

Anyway, I just can't cope

with the whole Doug the Sponsor strategy.

It's just too gross.

So how bald is your father?

On a scale of 1 to 10?

Did he say anything about me?

Is your mom yakking about your dad again?

Okay, don't tell me.

I don't want to put you in the middle.

Tell your mother to get of there.

I hope you told him

I'm seeing a South African potter.

Mom, please, I'm on the phone.

You're always on the phone.

I never get to see you anymore.

What about our relationship?

My mother's driving me crazy.

So what-- What--

what did your father give you for Christmas?

Well, no kidding!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

How old does he think you are? 10?

Anyway, go ahead.

** [pop]

It's 11:30. Clearly, we've made a tactical error.

I mean, none of the cool people have arrived.

If I have to face the new year

with no prospects for a climax,

I'm gonna go post naked pictures of myself

on the damn Internet.

Nell, didn't any of your new male model friends

invite you to a New Year's Eve party?

What new male model friends?

Yeah, Nell.

Where are Kate and Naomi going?

Look, let's just go to Betsy Bradley's.

I mean, at least her stepfather owns the Knicks.

I'm gonna go get a drink.

A low-tech party, huh?

Yeah. How'd you end up here?

Uh, the guy's the bass player in my band.

What band?

Oedipus Wreck.

[no audible dialogue]

Oh, I guess I got to go.

Why don't you stick around?

Rebel against the committee for once.

They're not a committee.

They don't tell me what to do.

They're my friends.

Then let's go for a walk.

How do you know I want to?

Well, I'm asking.

Do you?

Fine.

Fine.

What the hell's she doing?

What?

Where are you going?

Great.

So...what's your first choice?

Wouldn't it be great for once

to spend an evening with someone

and not talk about college?

Is that possible?

I mean, they make it seem

like the college you get into

determines the quality of the rest of your life.

Well, it sort of does, doesn't it?

No, not unless you see your life

like a line on a grid.

You can't plan out the future anyway.

The future's a... figment of your imagination.

Whatever happened to chaos?

Rolling in the mud, for fuck's sake.

I'd like to roll in the mud.

Now, that is a fine idea.

Come on.

W-What are you doing?

Wait. Where are you going?

Raagh! Come on!

But what about my outfit?

Your outfit is just an illusion.

You see, the mud, that's real.

Aah!

Oh, God.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Oh, God!

Ha ha ha ha!

Do you want to kiss me?

Do you want to kiss me?

I don't know. I thought you might want to kiss me.

Well, that wasn't what I was thinking about right then.

Why the hell not?

[horns honking]

It's the new year.

Don't you want to kiss somebody for good luck?

I don't believe in the traditional shit.

Do you want to always do what everyone else does?

No. I don't, as a matter of fact.

I went on this walk with you, didn't I?

I mean, I have a lot going on inside me

that you don't know about.

Just because I happen to have two very close friends

doesn't mean I can't think for myself.

Ohh...

[sigh]

Well, babe, that's what you get

for ditching your girlfriends

to go roll around in the mud

with some self-hating blueblood.

I guess you're right.

He wouldn't even come on to me.

That guy's a waste of your time.

[Judy] Stream!

Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!

Harvard! Ha ha ha ha!

What does it say? What does it say?

Yes?

It's only a deferral.

I've spoken with the people at admissions at Harvard,

and they assure me there's a chance

she'll be accepted in April,

so she's still in the running.

But you saw her application.

Wasn't it really special?

Yes, but now she has an opportunity

to try other schools.

Is Stream terribly disappointed?

[chiming]

Well, she claims to be fine,

but, you know,

how could she not feel like a terrible failure?

Not that I think that.

Well, of course not.

But, you know, it wouldn't hurt

to have a talk with her

just to make sure that she realizes

you're all right with this.

[chiming]

Mom, don't be so bummed out.

Even if I don't get in anywhere,

it doesn't determine the quality of the rest of my life.

Oh, I know.

It's just that you're so much better

than all those other kids.

I don't see how Nell got in early

when you didn't.

Of course, I don't think you should be competitive.

Well, Jenny didn't get in early, either.

Well, Jenny's father can always

donate a library to Brown,

and trust me, she'll get in,

whereas your father-- We'll be lucky

if he buys you some sweaters from L.L. Bean.

Maybe-- Maybe I just wasn't focused enough.

Maybe I-- Whew--

Maybe I should have got you more help, more support.

Maybe I should have done your homework for you. I--

But you know?

I'm really fine about the whole thing.

And I-- I feel totally confident

about the way I brought you up. I do.

It's no accident

that I sent you to a Montessori kindergarten.

You're a very bright young girl

with a strong sense of independence.

Condoms?

Oh, my God.

I need to sit down.

Oh... I'm-- I'm struggling.

Believe me, I'm struggling.

I hate sounding like a conservative,

but I think it might be...

normal for-- for-- for a loving parent

to have this reaction.

You're too young! You're just a kid!

I'm sorry,

but I feel-- I feel 100% judgmental.

[sigh]

Ow.

You're right.

I hate myself for sounding judgmental.

I guess I just have to accept the fact

that you're... almost an adult,

and y-you have to take responsibility

for your own decisions.

So why are you here?

My mother flipped her lid

when she found some condoms.

I'm investigating sex. Isn't that normal?

Who can say what's normal?

I mean, 70% of American teenagers do it.

What's wrong with girls wanting to have sex

as much as guys do?

I mean, I'm not... obsessed with sex.

Well, that's good.

But...

I wish I knew how to get a guy

to make me climax.

Like, how does that happen?

How do you think it happens?

It seems like you...

I don't know.

Is the guy supposed to--

You tell him your needs,

and he does stuff to you.

Is it, uh, possible

that Stream is being a little bit passive?

Passive? Stream?

[Stream] Where's Nell?

I thought she was coming over.

[Jenny] Like she needs to post a personal ad.

Need I say more?

She's in the land of hot young things.

I can't even get her on the phone anymore.

Never mind.

Let's read yours.

Okay.

"Young, sexy single white female

"actively seeks sensitive lover

"for active mutual exploration.

Over 21 need not respond."

Yawn. Where are you gonna post that, the Village Voice?

Yeah, actually.

Well, they have the best response rate.

What were you thinking?

I don't know.

Doesn't Town & Country have a web site?

Town & Country?

Jenny, you wrote...

"I like to scream and prance.

"Will you poke me with your lance?

"To hell with lame romance.

I want to cream my pants."

Perfect. I love it.

I don't know, Jen.

The shrink said to be active, not obscene.

Scream, cream?

What could be more active?

All right, we cannot sit at the same table.

Yeah, but I want to see your guy.

Okay, you can sit there.

Is that a baseball cap?

Is that a head of tangled hair?

Hi.

So, uh...

So where do you study film?

NYU.

Oh, great.

So what are your films about?

Oh, you know,

"The prostitute turns out to be my mother"

type of thing.

Whoa.

So you ready for a little...

mutual exploration, huh?

Sure.

Cool.

All right.

Let's get out of here.

Excuse me.

Meatman 703?

You know, hung like a horse, born to ride?

Uh...

no.

No.

[speed dialing]

Hi. This is Jennifer Simon.

Can I have Wahid come right away, please?

Wahid.

Traffic is bad, ma'am.

Could you pull over, please?

Do you think I'm skinny?

Ma'am?

Do you think I'm skinny?

I mean, skinny enough to be attractive?

You look too skinny to me, ma'am.

Thank you.

* I wanna be Mr. Rodeo

[Stream] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

You know, your message didn't say anything about role-playing.

You want to have an orgasm, don't you?

Exactly.

Concentrate--

Concentrate on that spot right there.

But--

You know what?

That's funny.

You're in the right place, but...

I guess you don't have a Jacuzzi.

I have a better idea.

Wait, wait, wait.

* I wanna be fucking all day long *

Sorry it didn't work out.

That usually does the trick.

Oh, it's not your fault.

Maybe I wasn't concentrating hard enough, or...

Well...

Are you aware of what time it is?

I-- I had cab trouble.

I've been trying not to worry,

but who knows where you've been?

I don't even want to know.

Where have you been, Stream?

Maybe if you had a clue, I might confide in you every now and then.

What the hell does that mean?

You're so obsessed with being in touch with me,

but you're not even in touch with yourself.

I am so in touch.

I'm in touch with both-- Both you and myself.

I'm totally in touch.

No, you're not. I mean, what's up

with your so-called photography career anyway?

Is that just a way to convince yourself

you have a life beyond Dad?

That is so mean.

I can't believe you said that.

Bartholomew has a highly celebrated aesthetic,

and he's totally supportive of my work.

What work? You mean these snapshots

you took of me when we were in Jamaica?

You're grounded!

[door slams]

That's right!

I'm now totally part of the Establishment.

You are not going anywhere,

for any reason, ever again.

Isn't this where the Freedom for Tibet Club is meeting?

No, no. They, uh,

they moved that down to Room 305.

Nick Drake Fan Club's meeting here.

Oh.

Where are all the Nick Drake fans, then?

Too cool to be in a club, I guess.

I guess.

Hey, uh, my band's playing next week

at Venus Lounge.

You should come by.

Is that an invitation?

Shouldn't you address it to my personal trainers?

They can come, too.

* Bad leather

* Trend setter

* Bad leather

* Always...

[Man] Lovely.

Ah, lovely, lovely.

Lovely.

Show me your dark places.

Like this?

No, no, no, no, no.

I want you to imagine the camera as...

as your first boyfriend.

What?

More natural, something.

Modeling's acting.

More neck. Show me more neck.

Look at me like you want to have sex with me.

What are you, a pervert?

I have to be. It's my job.

Can you get your hand off me?

Are you frightened?

Good. Look into the camera.

Fuck you.

Oh, I'd love to, but then who'd take the photos?

What's that about?

Of course, I do have a tripod.

[phone rings]

Hello.

It's for me.

What?

What credit card?

Dad, it-- It was an emergency.

What's going on? What's he talking about?

I thought you weren't talking to me.

All right. I'll rip it up.

Dad, I said I would rip it up, okay?

Now?

Oh, come on.

All right, fine.

Is he abusing you emotionally?

Look, I'm destroying it, okay?

Look, Dad, I am destroying the card, okay?

Do you hear that? It's totally dead.

What? What do you mean you can't pay for college?

No, I can't get a scholarship!

Why are you torturing her?

If you can spend thousands on that new bimbo of yours,

then you can cough it up for your daughter's education.

Mom, please don't fight.

You need to get a hold of yourself, Dick.

You want her to have to take out a loan

and be in debt for the rest of her life,

just so you can buy a new Range Rover?

Huh?

[click, dial tone]

* It's all right

* If you don't want me to leave *

* Some things in this life *

* Aren't meant to be seen

* If that sounds mean

* I'm thinkin' 'bout you

* 'Cause that's what I do

* Don't worry for me

* I'm gonna take care of things, yeah *

* I'm thinking of you

* And that's why I have to leave *

* Sometimes I feel

* Life is all in my head

* My eyes see it [speed dialing]

* Passin' by [phone ringing]

* Well, then I--

Nell, listen to me. Nell.

Nell, hold on. Nell.

Nell, stick your finger down your throat.

Do it. I mean it.

I'm sneaking out right now, okay?

[Woman on TV] Matisse's feelings for Loulou

are perfectly representing

his pure, naked emotion.

It's as if she's floating in a yellow sea,

her large breasts undulating

in golden waves.

And then, on the right,

we have the angry S-S-Soulio, who reminds me...

Good night. I'm going to sleep now.

Good night.

[Woman on TV] Look at her heart,

which is like an angry, meat-like globe.

This nun is so deep.

[coughing]

[Stream] Jen, get in here!

You're the one who knows all about throwing up.

Yeah, but I can't stand watching anyone else doing it.

[cough]

Anyway, shouldn't we take her

to the hospital or whatever?

No, my parents are gonna be home any minute.

They'll kill me.

I thought that was the point.

Jen, can you be sensitive?

My life is fucking hell.

What happened?

I thought everything was going really well for you.

[squawking]

Like when?

Like when you were on the cover of YM.

You said you got free drinks at every club.

Nell, you're, like, so beautiful

and so smart and...

and blasé.

Everyone wants to be like you.

Nobody really knows me.

[chattering]

Oh, Nelly.

How many Prozacs did you take?

I don't know. Three.

Three?

I thought you took the whole bottle.

That's all that was left.

Ahh...

[cough cough]

I guess that's all of 'em, then.

Gross.

Uch, plus the bird just shat.

Get away from me, bunny.

Of course, I'm aware that you snuck out last night.

But I want you to know

that I, uh, spent the whole night meditating on it,

and I, uh, I understand

that you-- You're probably upset

about your father's so-called financial crisis.

So I've decided to move beyond grounding

as a means of discipline.

[cough]

I still feel that you have not behaved responsibly,

but I-- I can only advise you

and hope that you respect my opinion.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

And now, for a special treat,

we're taking you into the sweaty world

of high school rock 'n' roll.

Our first video comes

from that New York City group

called Oedipus Wreck.

This sexy crew will be performing

tonight at The Bank

in that big rotten apple, New York City.

Check it out.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

** [soft rock]

What?

* The universe is like a new flower *

* Not as much as you are

* You wanted me to kiss you *

* For good luck, yeah

* But I wanted to kiss you *

* For other reasons

* Sometimes you rush in my head like a dream *

* You are of water

* Runnin' down the stream

* Runnin' down the stream

* Runnin' down the stream

* You wanted me to kiss you *

* For good luck, yeah

I don't know if I'm really in the mood for a nightclub.

I just tried to commit suicide.

I'm not ready to have fun.

Oh, come on, Nell.

Aren't you curious to see Henry?

We could care less about Henry.

We think he's a freak.

But we understand your need

to find out if he's a stud on stage

since he was such a dud in the mud.

I thought he was off your list.

You know, I've got this awful feeling

I might kinda like him.

So? Like has nothing to do with sexual ecstasy.

I'm starting to think it does.

Come on.

Three of us.

[cheering]

Thank you. Thanks.

Thank you. Raahr.

He looks really good.

Yeah, if you like grease.

That boy needs to take a shower.

So, uh...

I, uh, I know this girl.

[whistles, cheers] Yeah.

[Audience member] You'll get her, man!

We, uh, we had all this...

chemistry.

Yeah! Yeah!

But she's too hung up

on what other people think

to really...rock.

[cheering]

I wrote this song when I thought I stood a chance.

All right, man! Sing it!

* I know I'd love you

* If you give me the chance

* I'll make you scream and moan *

* I'll make you wet your pants *

* 'Cause I know how to love a woman *

* I know how to love a woman, yeah *

Do you think--

Who do you think he could be talking about?

* You know our love is hot

* You'll ovulate on the spot... *

I bet you that drummer came up

with that "ovulating on the spot" line.

[Stream] Who is she?

[Jenny] Some dyke.

Why do you say that?

I heard she went to Brearley.

* Take it off

* Do it now

* Gonna make you quiver

* Make you scream and shout *

* So put away your inhibition *

* Start your engine

* Start your engine

* I know I'd love you

* If you'd give me the chance *

* I'll make you scream and moan *

* I'll make you wet your pants *

* 'Cause I know how to love a woman *

* I know how to love a woman, yeah *

* And I'm in no hurry

[cheering]

Well, what's the deal with him and that drummer?

Are you sure she's gay?

I don't know.

They do look kinda touchy-feely.

Whatever. All those rock 'n' rollers are sluts.

Maybe she's bi.

What do you care anyway?

Look, whatever. Can we just get out of this dive?

I'm gonna die of boredom.

Hey, where's Nell?

[Jenny] What are you doing a block away?

I told you to wait out front.

Well, I didn't say you could go get a cup of coffee.

Yes. Now, please.

Let's wait for the band to come out.

I can't wait any longer.

If I don't go home now, my driver goes on overtime.

Well, they're coming out any minute,

and besides, we can't leave without Nell.

What if she tries to kill herself again?

She's all out of Prozac.

What's she gonna do, O.D. on St. John's Wort?

[car horn honks]

Look, that's my car, all right?

Let's just go.

Excuse me.

Yeah?

You guys were really great tonight.

* Are you so surprised to see me? *

Are you really a lesbian?

Wow. That's a weird way to say hello.

I'm sorry.

I'm such a freak.

No, it's okay.

Yeah, I'm out.

Are you?

Me?

No.

* Who's gettin' scared now? *

* Tell me, tell me, how does it feel? *

I don't know why I wanted to escape my life.

I just feel trapped behind my face.

Sounds like you're really depressed.

Yeah, I just feel like a freak sometimes.

A freak from the inside or a freak from the outside?

Inside. Outside, people love me.

So...what do you think is going on inside?

I don't know.

Well...

I'm sure you will someday.

It's pretty late.

I mean early.

[chuckle]

I think I should be heading home.

Wait.

* Engaged by your obsession with me, yeah *

* Time for some mental torture, and I... *

Oh, my God.

A breakthrough.

Thank you guys for coming over.

I have a pretty serious news flash.

I had an orgasm.

What?

You're lying. I don't believe this.

You were the laziest one out of all of us.

How did you do it?

Who is it, Nell? Who's the guy?

Well...

it's the drummer from Oedipus Wreck.

The drummer? You mean from Brearley?

You mean she's not sleeping with Henry?

Nope.

The dyke?

Fantastic!

Her name is Liza,

and you know what, Stream? You were right.

Like has everything to do with sexual ecstasy.

I knew it.

At least it's totally trendy, right?

I mean...you never know.

You could get your own sitcom.

Shut up, Jen.

I think it's great, Nell.

Congratulations. Thanks.

[laughter]

Hey, Stream, come check this out.

Papaya gingko energizing cream with oatmeal.

How does it feel? [chuckles]

Huh? It's tingly.

Energizing. It's great.

It is, right?

God, I'm gifted with herbs.

You know, honey,

now that I've finally freed Judy

from Dick and Judy's,

I realize how frustrated I've been.

It's really blocking my spiritual progress.

I'm a born businesswoman.

Who was I trying to kid with that photography idea?

A lot of your photos are really good.

Thanks, but, you know, I have to consider it, like, a hobby.

I mean, the minute I start thinking about it

as a professional thing,

I get so-- I get so, um, claustrophobic.

I can't go near a darkroom.

Mom, you are so self-actualized.

Well, it's about time.

You know, I've been so overwhelmed

with my own stuff,

I haven't really... really understood

what you were going through as a young woman,

and, you know, I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

And now...

Harvard.

Harvard Schmarvard.

This time, I'm not even gonna watch.

You know I love you, no matter what.

I can't believe it!

I just can't believe I have to go to Vassar!

It's a nightmare!

You're gonna love it.

It's really low-pressure there.

Poughkeepsie's a really good town.

Oh, come on!

Thank you, Daddy. Brown.

It was really touch and go for a while,

but he finally found the right person to bribe.

Stream, you?

Yes, I got in,

and my mom finally released her inner-entrepreneur,

so now she's sure she can help me pay for it.

That's so good. That's really nice.

You know, he got into Harvard and Yale.

So he'll either be in my class or yours, Nell.

Oh, not mine. I'm not going.

What? You've got to be kidding.

After all that work?

Oh, God, Nell, your poor parents.

They're gonna commit hari-kari.

I'm not doing anything

that feels wrong anymore.

Maybe I'll join the Peace Corps

and go to school afterwards.

Or maybe I won't. It's my life.

Peace Corps. Hmm.

That's awesome, Nell.

Thanks.

Go get him.

Congratulations, Henry Lipschitz.

Thanks. Uh, congratulations to you,

Stream Hodsell.

Will you go out with me?

I thought I wasn't your type.

You are. I-- I just haven't been listening to myself.

I understand if you don't want to.

I was really, um...

I just wanted you to know

that I think about you sometimes,

and I'm sorry if I acted like a jerk.

I'll go out with you.

You will?

You want some time to think about it?

No. I don't need time to think about it.

I mean, is commitment a bad thing, you know?

So how come you never kissed me

that night in the park?

I was nervous.

Really?

But you're a rocker.

Well, I don't--

I don't kiss people I barely know.

Oh. Well, that's a good policy.

Listen.

I've got some things I want to show you, okay?

Okay.

I've got some things to show you, too.

Me first.

Mmm...

Ohh...

Ahh...

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA