Original subtitles

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Phil.

♪

Phil.

♪

Oh, lovely.

Phil.

Ah, Private.

So good of you to join me for tea.

One lump or two?

One, please.

Ow!

Yo, a little help.

Here you go, fellas.

From downtown.

I call the little bird for our team.

No, no, no.

We get the little bird.

You can have Sir Teatime Fancy-Pants.

First of all, I do not wear pants, fancy or otherwise.

Second of all, I am not interested in playing your idiotic game.

Third of all, how could you not want me on your team?

Probably 'cause he figures you stink.

Oh, I'm not the one who stinks!

I suggest you point your nose in the direction of the simian

who roots through trash and wallows in filth all day long.

That, sir, is who stinks!

I think he's talking about you.

I am talking about Phil!

(Sniffing)

Uh, Mason, perhaps you need a moment.

Yes.

Perhaps I do.

Ah!

Grr!

That does it!

Phil, I refuse to clean up after you from henceforth.

Oh!

(Shouting incoherently)

Mmm.

Something feels... off.

Kowalski, analysis.

Skipper, if my calculations are correct, we have a guest.

Oh, you really should sanitize your work surface.

Private, shields up.

What in peeled potatoes is going on?

Mason kind of wigged out a little.

Wigged out?

How?

Huh?

Stuff happens.

So why is he here?

Well, Phil's a bit of a slobby bobby, and it's getting

to Mason, if you know what I mean.

Hmm.

So you think the chimp has been pushed from ordinary neatnick

to compulsive cuckoo bird?

Yes, that's it.

Perhaps a short stay here would be just the break he needs.

Wow, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Shields down.

I heard every word of that.

Can you hear me now?

Clear as crystal.

Really?

How about now?

Yes.

How about now?

Yes.

How about now?

Yes.

How about now?

Yes, like a bell.

Well, you're in luck, simian neighbour.

You're catching us on cleaning day.

Did you say cleaning day?

(Laughing maniacally)

Please, leave this to the pros.

For your own safety, step back.

Preparing to launch operation squeaky clean.

Launch.

♪

Private.

Sorry.

(Giggling)

Tada!

How could I have not known that paradise was but a habitat away?

So that must have been a pleasant change of pace, eh, Mason?

You got to just kick back and relax and leave the cleaning to

us.

Wonderful.

May we surmise that you are now rested and ready--

To move in here?

Brilliant.

Uh, I was going to say to move back to your own habitat.

This is terrible.

Mason and Phil are best friends.

They belong together.

Gentlemen, Mason is a clean freak and Phil is a disgusting slob.

They're yin and yang.

Maybe we need to just get them back together and then

they'll realize how much they need each other.

Mm, sounds like a plan.

Roger that, Skipper.

At least talk to him.

Fine, but I really don't see the point.

Yes, hello to you as well, Phil.

I believe an apology is in order.

What do you mean I don't have to apologize?

For being bossy?

You are the one who should be apologizing for your infinitely

inconsiderate-- Hey!

That is exactly what I'm talking about.

Good day, sir.

Oh dear.

I think a wonderful way to begin would be to say something

positive.

I am positive that Phil is disgusting, inconsiderate and

selfish.

What did he say?

No idea.

Go pound the manners?

Ooh!

Tell it like it is, primate.

You go!

Let's try some role-playing.

Pretend I am Phil.

Well, it's a bit of a reach, but very well.

Now pretend I've just made a mess.

Oh, Phil, another mess which I must clean up now.

No, no.

That is all wrong.

Ow!

Oh, oh, I sure do like a tire swing, oh.

It's uncanny.

I know.

Oh, do me, do me!

Okay, okay.

Oh, oh, I sure do like stinky fish, oh.

None of this is helping.

Skipper, let me assure you that I will be a valuable addition

to your team.

You've got commando skills?

Better.

I have cleaning skills.

Well, you're wasting your time here.

We run a sanitary operation.

Oh, at last!

Like I said.

Right-o.

(Laughing)

Can't clean if there's not a mess.

Can't do it.

It's nothing, I'm fine.

Good heavens, do you see that?

No, nobody move.

I've got it.

I'd have sworn there was nothing there when we passed.

We don't even eat bananas.

All right, all right, everyone get back.

Come now, move along.

Show's over.

Another suspicious mess?

I'm afraid so, Skipper.

Worse this time.

Peanut shells.

Peanuts?

Don't look at me.

I've been here all day.

What kind of sick mind would leave messes like this over and

over?

I've worked up a profile of a perp.

I know that face.

Good evening.

Oh dear, another mess.

Shall I get it?

Excuse me.

Not yet.

No, really, I can do it.

Somewhere in this mess, our perp left a calling card.

Might as well have signed his name.

Fine.

Mason!

Why?

Oh, you wouldn't understand.

Nobody understands.

You can't bear not having someone to clean up after, so

you made messes for yourself.

Oh.

I stand corrected.

You understand completely.

You've got a real sickness, chimp-o.

(Knocking)

What?

There's a party at Phil's.

Wanted me to spread the word.

Did someone say party?

Yeah, baby.

I'm ready to-- (Belching)

Uh, this is a little, uh, lowbrow for the King, you know?

♪

They're behaving like animals.

Private, please.

They're behaving like mammals.

Let's not lump birds and reptiles in with this crowd.

Hoo!

(Rumbling)

(Gasping)

Operation reduce, reuse, recycle.

Ah!

Where's Phil?

Phil!

Phil!

Phil!

Fear not, filth will not win this game.

(Groaning)

Quite welcome, old friend.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

It's cleaning time.

(Laughing maniacally)

One lump or two?

One, please.

Thank you, Phil.

He's really turned into quite the gentleman.