All language subtitles for Chicago.Med.S10E19

You took my uterus?

Becoming a mother was
the most important thing.

I made that decision.
I couldn't lose you.

We need more full-time nurses.

Didn't a leadership position
just open up

in the nurses' union?

Toss your name in the ring.

When it first happens,
everyone's there, you know?

But I'm still here, alone.

[dramatic music]

[stammering]
I didn't mean to do that.

I'm not a victim here.

That still doesn't make it
OK for a grown woman

to start a relationship
with a minor.

You're not being honest
with yourself.

You loved me.

Don't dismiss it
like it didn't mean anything.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

Dennis, I'm going to be
heading out.

- Come join me.
- [laughs] Not a chance.

You're not getting my hair wet.

When you coming home tonight?
I'm gonna cook up the rib eye.

Oh, well, not too late,
probably about 6:00.

And, remember,
don't cook mine...

Too rare.

I got you, baby.

All right, we'll see you later.

See you later.

Hello?

Uh, hi.

Alex.

[scoffs] Goodness,
your father didn't mention

that you were coming home.

Oh, it's a surprise.

- Ah.
- Is he here by any chance?

Um, he's, uh, in the shower.

He talks about you all the time.

Oh.

It's so nice
to finally meet you.

[chuckles]
I was ready to brave

that 16-hour flight to Auckland.

I am so sorry.

I don't mean to be rude,
but who are you?

Sharon.
Sharon Goodwin.

[soft music]

Your father didn't...

No.

Alex?

What are you doing here?

I thought your fellowship
doesn't end till next month.

I wanted to surprise you.

It would have been

yours and mom's 50th wedding
anniversary on Saturday.

Right, yes, uh...

- Yeah.
- So good to see you.

- This is Sharon Goodwin.
- We met, Dad.

Well, uh, I'll let
the two of you catch up.

Sure.

- Sharon, hold on a second.
- We'll talk later.

It was lovely meeting you, Alex.

You too.

[door opens]

We've got
a pediatric trauma en route.

Dr. Archer's requesting
your assistance.

- Where's Frost?
- Late.

Who's that for?

Uh, Sully's son, Nate.

It's his first birthday.

Lynn's having a little party
for him tonight.

Oh, that must be bittersweet.

Definitely.

Looking sharp, by the way.
What's the occasion?

Union negotiations
with the hospital.

Aren't you all getting
down to the wire?

Mm-hmm. Current contract
expires at midnight.

Give them hell, Maggie.
Don't let up.

Yeah.

- [alarm blaring]
- [screaming]

Go to Trauma 1.

Clarissa Thatcher,
13-year-old female,

peds versus auto.

Victim was riding a skateboard
when she was struck.

You're in good hands, Clarissa.

These doctors are going
to take care of you.

- Helmet?
- Yes, thank goodness.

Heart rate 119, BP 92 over 63.

Obvious deformity of the left
forearm, bruising on the belly,

and complaining
of abdominal pain.

- Which side was she hit on?
- Right side.

- She was airborne about 10 feet.
- I know it hurts.

Just try to keep breathing.
All right, here we go. Ready?

- On my count, one, two, three.
- [crying]

All right, all right,
all right, all right.

You OK, man?
What happened?

I hit her.
We were responding to a call.

She crossed in front of me
on a skateboard.

I didn't see her in time.

OK, you need to get
that head lac checked out.

Yeah, I will.

We gave her 2 of morphine
in the ambo.

All right, let's give her
25 of fentanyl, please.

We would have called for backup,

but we were about ten minutes
from Med,

and it was fastest
just to bring her ourselves.

All right,
we'll take it from here.

Clear breath sounds bilaterally.

- Matt, come on.
- We got this, Matt.

Ultrasound, please.
[alarm blaring]

- Courtney?
- What is it? What's wrong?

You got this. Let's go.

Matt, the best thing
you can do right now

- is to let the doctors focus.
- I can't leave her.

- Please, just let me stay.
- I understand.

Matt, we'll be right over there.

You'll be able to keep eyes
on her the whole time.

Come on, Matt.

She's got free fluid
in the belly.

OK, let's open up the hybrid OR,

find out what
she's bleeding from.

♪ ♪

Her drink is on me.

And could I get a coffee,
no room, please?

Hi.

OK, I know I don't make
cardiothoracic money,

but I'm OK.

I can afford my own coffee.

Oh, relax.
It's not a patriarchy thing.

It is a cutting-the-line thing.

Thank you.

Where are you off to?

Uh, the PICU
to check on a patient.

Oh, well, as luck would have
it, I'm going upstairs, too.

So have you heard
from Naomi recently?

I sent her a few texts.
No response. Why?

I picked Naomi to assist
on a VATS pleurodesis

- this afternoon.
- She must be ecstatic.

Assisting on a VATS
as a first-year

is a real feather in her cap.

Yeah, I thought she would
see it that way, too,

but she missed our
last two simulations.

Emailed that she was going
to make them up on her own.

No, that's unacceptable.
I'll have a talk with her.

No, no, no, please don't.

The last thing I want to do
is embarrass her.

She's probably just
overwhelmed, like we all were.

[sighs] Yeah.

Except you, right?

You just sailed through
that first-year residency,

didn't you?

Is this where I'm supposed
to feign humility

and say it was really hard?

- That would be nice.
- [elevator bell dings]

Did you book your flight
to the conference yet?

Yeah. Why?

Any chance I could get you
to change your return flight

and join me for an extra day
in Myrtle Beach?

I was going to play hooky
and go ride the Swamp Fox.

Swamp Fox... it's a classic
wooden roller coaster.

Oh, I don't really like
roller coasters.

Oh, I should have known.

You did tell me that one time

that you prefer solid ground
under your feet.

Right.

But I could probably
be persuaded

if there's funnel cake,
cotton candy, you know.

Those are my terms.

Done.

Who knew you had a sweet tooth?

- [elevator bell dings]
- It's one of my few vices.

Can't wait to learn your others.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

And whose fault is it we
don't have a new contract yet?

Who dragged their feet?

All right, Miss Coleman,

do you want to lecture us
for an hour,

or would you like to hear
our proposal?

We are prepared to offer
the nurses tremendous gains

on the last two
remaining issues...

a 4% raise on hourly wages...

Barely keeping up
with inflation.

And a mandated one-to-five
nurse-to-patient ratio

on med-surg...

We're not budging
on nurse-to-patient ratio.

One-to-four, or we're done here.

Look, this is
an incredibly generous offer.

OK, then I guess we're done.

Hold on.
Please, hold on.

How about we look
at this latest proposal

as a new starting place

and we extend
negotiations a week?

I am as committed
as all of you are

to reaching a deal
which reflects

the invaluable contributions
of our nurses here at Gaffney.

We'll discuss
and get back with you.

Thank you.

Please, just tell me
how she's doing.

No, hey, keep still.
I'm almost done.

Honey, listen to Dr. Archer.

How is she?

You know HIPAA prohibits me

from sharing
any health information.

I'm begging you.

I just need to know
how she's doing.

What I can tell you is this.

She made it through surgery.

She's still
in critical condition,

and she's up in IR right now.

If I had seen her
even five seconds sooner,

I could...
I could have stopped in time.

- [knock on door]
- Mr. Sutton?

Yeah.

If you want to wait to have
a lawyer present, you can...

- No, I don't need a lawyer.
- Matt, I think we should...

I'll answer
any questions you have.

All right, and, uh,
I'll be back in a bit.

I heard what happened.
How's Matt doing?

About as poorly as you'd expect.

How's the kid he ran into doing?

Oh, she's got a grade 3 or 4
liver laceration.

We'll know more
once IR embolizes her.

So I got ahold
of Clarissa's medical records.

- Anything notable?
- Yeah, you could say that.

She has primary
sclerosing cholangitis.

Well, that explains
why she bled so much

from her laceration.

Yeah, but if her liver function

is already compromised...

Clarissa won't survive
without a liver transplant.

So how did it go?

- The meeting was OK.
- Just OK?

Well, for starters,
I can't afford surrogacy.

- Money aside for a second.
- No, not money aside, Hannah.

I can't afford it,

and I'm not going
to let you bankrupt yourself

trying to help me become a mom.

Besides, it's... it's not just
about the money.

The idea of trusting
a total stranger

to carry my last embryo...

I mean, it's my own hang-up,
I admit it.

I've got trust issues.

Well, maybe because
you had a little sister

who lied to you a ton.

[both chuckle]

Hey, maybe, um...

Maybe it's just...
it's a little too soon

to start exploring surrogacy.

I mean, it's only been
a month, Lizzy.

You got to give yourself
some time to heal.

I don't have time.

I've already lost so many years
trying to get pregnant.

This woman I work with...

she just got pregnant
for the fourth time...

after her husband
had a vasectomy.

Lizzy.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

[baby crying]

- How nice of you to join us.
- I slept through my alarm.

Hand, foot and mouth in one,
hot-soup burn in two,

abdominal pain in four.

- I get to choose, or...
- You get all of them.

All right, I'm going
to put my stuff down...

Uh-uh. Give it to me.

Max, my man.

- I'm Dr. Frost.
- Hi, Dr. Frost.

- Who's this?
- Oh, I haven't named him yet.

My mom just got him for me.

Oh, OK, I thought
he looked familiar.

It's from the gift shop, right?

Yeah. She let me pick out
anything I wanted.

Lucky you.

Where is your mom exactly?

Oh, she had to go
to the bathroom.

OK. All right, well,
hey, we can wait

till she gets back
to start the exam.

But in the meantime,
why don't you tell me

a little bit about
this tummy pain, huh?

What are you looking for
there, Max?

What's this?

My mom said to give it to you.

- To me?
- Well, to the doctor.

I mean, you are the doctor,
though, right?

That's what I like
to tell myself, yeah.

OK.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

I don't see
how continuing to negotiate

is going to get us anywhere.

We cannot give in
on nurse-to-patient ratios.

And with the hospital reps
outweighing us

- on the nursing care committee...
- It's not going to happen

unless it's mandated
in our contract.

Exactly right.

And if we do end up striking,
the last thing we want to do

is give them more time
to prepare.

I think the last thing
we want to do is go on strike.

Well, of course...

Especially when the other
party is willing to negotiate.

I don't think we should be
walking away from the table.

They use these extensions
to make meaningless,

incremental offers...
nothing substantial.

I get it,
but Sharon Goodwin wasn't part

of the past negotiations.

She's a former RN
of this hospital.

No one is more sympathetic
to what we go through

than Sharon Goodwin.

And I challenge you
to find anyone in this room

who disagrees.

Surveillance footage
shows the mom

leaving the hospital on foot.

Police went to the trailer park
where they live.

Trailer's empty,
totally cleaned out.

Did they interview
the neighbors?

They said she left him alone
a lot at night.

Suspected drug use
with the boyfriend.

No one thought to report this?

I don't know
what to tell you, man.

People just... they don't
want to get involved.

Does Max have any family
that can take him in?

Supposedly, he would live
with his grandma on and off,

but she just got put
into a nursing home.

DCFS is working on a placement
as we speak.

He been asking about her at all?

Oddly, no.

He seems totally unfazed.

Let's hold off
on that conversation

until we know where
he's hanging his hat tonight.

So I just got word
from Miss Coleman,

that the nurses have agreed
to a one-week extension.

- Excellent.
- So...

- [knock on door]
- Yes?

Sorry, I... I didn't know
you was in a meeting.

Uh, uh, stay.

Uh, Peter and I were
just finishing up.

Um, yeah.

OK, I guess that's it for now.

OK.

- [door closes]
- Sharon...

Why?
Why would you...

I knew Alex would have
a hard time with me dating

after her mom died.

I know it's been four years,

but, still,
it's very raw for her.

I fully intended to tell her

when things started
to get serious between us.

Then, you know, she and
her fiancé split in October.

The timing wasn't right.

So I waited until Christmas.

But then my flight got canceled.

But you could have told her
over the phone.

When it comes to big news,

Alex has always taken it better
face-to-face.

She's 35 years old.

You don't know Alex like I do.

No, I don't.

I made a horrible mistake.

I hurt the two most
important women in my life.

I would never, ever do that
intentionally.

OK.

I... I'm sorry.

What can we do to repair this?

[dramatic music]

OK, how about this?

If you're up for it,
maybe the three of us

can have lunch today
at the hospital?

♪ ♪

If Alex agrees...

OK, sure.

Thank you.

When you all get to know
each other,

you'll become fast friends.

I'm sure of it.

You think because you've got
the sirens blaring,

- you can drive like a maniac?
- I'm so sorry.

Matt, Matt,
why don't you go home?

But if you let me,
I think I can help Clarissa.

You've done enough.
Listen to the doctor. Go home.

I know Clarissa needs
a liver transplant.

How do you know that?
Did you share...

- Absolutely not.
- No, he didn't.

I overheard the doctors talking,

and I know neither of you
are a match.

OK, that's it.
You need to go.

I'm a universal donor,
O-negative.

I'm fit, no history
of mental illness.

I don't smoke.
I... I hardly drink.

I can donate a portion
of my liver to Clarissa.

Matt...

this is a major operation
and not without its risks.

I understand.
I want to do this.

♪ ♪

Please let me.

- Oh, sorry, I didn't realize...
- You mind closing the...

[stammering] Yeah, what
are you... what are you doing?

I thought I might be
coming down with something.

Oh, really?
What are your symptoms?

Some nausea, slight fever.

Yeah, what about vomiting, diarrhea?

OK, can we not?

I mean, it might just be
norovirus.

I am sure you're right.
This is probably overkill.

Yeah, uh...

You're not drawing labs
to check for a white count,

so what the...
what are you doing?

It's not even worth
talking about.

It's so preliminary.

[sighs]

I'm doing some
initial blood work

to see if I could...

Maybe be Lizzy's surrogate.

"Surrogate"?
Uh, what?

As a, what,
a decision maker or...

No, surrogate as in
to carry her child.

Uh-huh.
And she asked you to do this?

No. No, no, no.

We haven't... we haven't
even talked about it.

Oh, thank God.

I think I'm going to offer.

Oh, listen, I know you want
to help your sister, but, uh...

you know, there's some very
serious things to consider.

And you don't think
I'm considering them?

It's... it's...
it's exceedingly hard

to give up a child.

Well, it's not my child.
It's Lizzy's embryo.

Well, even so, pregnancy's
a very emotional experience.

And you develop
an attachment to a child.

That's... that's primal.

You're really trying
to mansplain pregnancy

to an OB/GYN?

[stammering] You don't owe her

this level
of personal sacrifice.

Look, I get
why this might be hard

for you to understand, Dean.

You wouldn't even let
your own son

give you his kidney
without kicking and screaming

- all the way to the OR.
- No...

But this isn't about obligation.

Oh, isn't it?
Are you sure?

Because I know
that you feel responsible

for what happened to Lizzy,
but you're not, Hannah.

Look, I didn't ask
for your analysis.

So, if you're not going to be
supportive, stay out of it.

♪ ♪

It's not just your sacrifice.
It's ours, too.

Sam, I know I'm asking a lot
of you and the girls.

But that's the thing.
You didn't ask first.

- You just made the decision.
- I should have. I'm sorry.

Oh, hi, Samantha.

I was going to do the, uh...
the psych eval now,

- but I can come back.
- You stay.

- I'll go.
- Honey, wait.

Everything OK?

Samantha's, uh... has some
concerns about me donating.

Oh.

Last couple of years,
you know, ever since COVID,

we've had
a tough time financially.

Oh, man.
Sorry to hear that.

So we're getting by.

You know, my paid leave
is only going to cover

about half my recovery time,

and we need extra childcare
with me being laid up and...

So she's understandably
concerned, yeah.

How about you?

Any of that stuff
giving you pause?

[sighs]

I understand I'm putting a
tremendous burden on my family.

I feel sick about that.

[dramatic music]

But if I didn't do
everything I could

to save Clarissa's life...

Yeah, I'd... I'd feel
a hell of a lot sicker.

♪ ♪

[cell phone chimes]

- Is that me?
- Was it yours or mine?

Oh, you see this message
from your father?

"So sorry,
but I have to miss lunch.

Dealing with an emergent
patient situation."

"Will be in touch
as soon as I'm able.

Sorry again."

Well...[chuckles]

I guess
it's just us girls, then.

- Yep.
- [chuckles]

Listen, I'd attempt small talk,

but I think
we're past that, yes?

- Yeah, I think so.
- Yeah.

And I'm sure you have
a lot of questions.

I do.

Shoot.

All right, so you and my dad
have been living together

- since November?
- Yes.

OK. Do you have children?

Three...
David, Michael, and Tara,

who made me a grandmother.

[chuckles]

- How long were you married?
- 32 years.

My ex-husband, Bert,
has dementia.

He's in a nursing home.

I'm sorry about that.

Do you see yourself
getting married again?

Oof, at this stage of my life,

marriage isn't something
I give much thought to.

[chuckles]
Look, Alex, um...

I'm not trying to plan out
some grand future

with your father.

We... we're taking it day by day.

And as long as it's fun

and we still enjoy
each other's company,

we're good.

- Well, we have that in common.
- Hmm?

The not giving
much thought to marriage.

- [both chuckle]
- Ah.

My mom would hate
to hear me say this,

but marriage and kids
still feel so far off for me.

Yeah, Dennis said
that Lorraine couldn't wait

to be a grandmother.

- Oh, an understatement.
- [both laugh]

Maybe that's why
I'm putting it off.

I just sort of can't really
stomach the thought

of becoming a mother.

Without your mother
here to see it.

I get that.

Yeah, I lost my mother
the summer after my senior year

in high school.

Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

- Thank you.
- What... what did she...

Ovarian cancer, caught late,
and it took her fast.

And I remember feeling
just like you.

How am I going to get
through the milestones

without my mother?

So how did you?

I didn't have to.

The day I got married,

when I had my babies,

even now,
when I'm tossing and turning

about a big decision...

I hear her voice.

She is still with me,

guiding me.

And trust...

your mother will be there, too.

[soft music]

So is there any chance
they put Mr. Sutton up to this?

I mean, did they offer
him money?

No, no, I was there.

He offered freely
and voluntarily.

Does he think this is gonna
clear him of any legal charges?

The cops cleared him already.
The collision wasn't his fault.

The video showed that he had
his lights and siren activated.

Clarissa crossed
in front of him illegally.

Legalities aside, uh,
even if we're not talking about

money changing hands
or direct coercion,

Matt is doing this because
he feels guilty, responsible,

which should not be
the predominant motivation.

What's your thought,
Dr. Charles?

The fundamental question
for living donors is,

will they still be OK
with their decision in a week,

you know, in a month, in a year?

Or will they regret
having done it?

And then sue the hospital.

And based on my evaluation,

I don't think Matt
will regret donating.

I mean, on the contrary,
I think it's much more likely...

I mean, in my opinion, anyway...
that what he would regret

is not donating.

As long as he's willing
to put that in writing,

absolve the hospital
of any future liability,

I see no reason this transplant
can't proceed.

[indistinct chatter]

- Long time no see.
- Yeah, it's been nonstop.

Sorry I haven't responded
to your texts.

Don't worry about it.

What are you doing down here?

Just felt like visiting
my old stomping ground.

Don't you have surgery
with Dr. Hayes?

Not for another hour.

Well, it's always good
to get there early,

review the surgical plan.

I know the surgical plan
inside out.

- Really?
- Yes.

Because I heard
that you've missed

multiple sim sessions
with Dr. Hayes.

[dramatic music]

He told you that?

First impressions are
everything in residency,

and they're exceedingly
hard to change.

Yeah, I-I know that.

If Dr. Hayes doesn't think
you're committed,

he will focus his time
and mentorship

on other residents
in the program.

I am extremely committed.

Then act like it.

I put my name
on the line recommending you

for cardiothoracic.

Please don't make me
regret that.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

All right, Matt, ready
to move you to the OR.

We should step out.

Thank you so much
for doing this.

My wife come back yet?

I checked in
at the nurses' station,

and, no,
Samantha hasn't returned.

I thought she was
just going for a walk.

I didn't think she'd leave.

Do you want to give her a call?

I can get your cell phone.

No, I don't want
to hold anything up.

Well, we can wait.

No, I'm good.
I promise.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

Just want you to feel
comfortable going into surgery.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure.

OK.

Guys.

- [knock on door]
- Come in.

- Sorry about lunch today.
- Oh, hey.

I had a patient

that needed an emergent
exchange transfusion.

It happens.

It... it was good, though,
just the two of us.

It gave us an opportunity
to actually talk,

woman-to-woman.

So I heard.

What, did...
did Alex not enjoy lunch?

I thought we got on pretty well.

Yeah. No.
Alex thinks the world of you.

Well, that's...
that's good, right?

Did you say to Alex

that you want to stay together
as long as it's fun?

- What?
- Did you say to her that...

Wait, wait, I... I was trying
to put her at ease,

to reassure her that
we weren't moving too quickly.

You made it sound
like some college fling.

Sharon, I've always been fine
with taking things slow

as long as we're moving
in the same direction.

Are we?

OK, now, you met
my whole family,

- including my ex-husband.
- I know that.

And, meanwhile, your daughter
didn't even know I existed.

I messed up, no doubt.

And now you want me
to make some big declaration?

I'm not asking you
to make any declaration.

I just need to know
I'm with someone

who wants to build
a future together.

I would not have moved in
with you, Dennis,

if I didn't.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to make a big thing of this.

It's just...

I love you, Sharon Goodwin.

And now that you've met Alex

and the two of you
have gotten on so well, I...

I'm really excited
about the future

we're trying to build.

Me too.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

So this nice family
is on their way here now,

and they're going to take you
to their home

for a couple nights, OK?

And the Andersons live
on a big farm, Max.

They've got chickens and goats,

and they've got
a golden retriever.

No, I can't go.
I need to stay here.

Max, your mom...

My mom is coming back
after she's done...

Done with what, buddy?

I'm not supposed to say.

It's OK.

OK, I promise
you won't get in trouble.

My mom is a superhero,

and she goes out
and fights bad guys.

But, well,
you can't tell anyone,

- because it's a secret, OK?
- Yeah.

No, lips are sealed.

So, if I leave,
she won't know how to find me.

Max, I'm afraid

that your mom isn't coming
back to the hospital.

Yes, she is.
She always comes back.

- Max, honey...
- I'm not leaving!

Max, hey...

the thing is, OK, your mom,

she's actually been called away

on a very special
crime-fighting mission.

Whoa, really?

Yeah.

Yeah, and, well,
since she doesn't know

when it will be over,
well, she asked the Andersons

to take care of you for a while.

Hey, Max,
I just need to step out

and talk to Dr. Frost
for a quick second,

but we'll be right back, OK?

Right back.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

We got to help Max process

what's actually happening
in his life, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, but, you know,
he's just a kid,

and I really don't think
he should have to process this.

I couldn't agree more,

but reinforcing this fantasy
that his mom's a hero,

I mean, it's just going
to confuse the hell out of him

in the long run.

I mean, this is part
of Max's story now,

and we can't change that,

but what we can do
is help him face it.

Yeah, I don't think
I can, um, do that.

- So...[sniffles]
- OK, OK.

Um, look, why don't
you let me, uh...

I'll go back in there,

and I'll finish
this conversation with Max.

- Take a minute.
- Yeah.

[sniffles]

♪ ♪

- Sam, Sam?
- What happened? Is Matt OK?

Dr. Archer should be
out of the OR any minute now

to brief you.

He just said
there was a complication

and he needed you to return
to the hospital.

Oh, my God.

Sam, let's not get
ahead of ourselves.

- OK.
- OK?

Mrs. Sutton.

What happened?

[sighs] When we were getting
ready to close,

Matt suffered
a hypertensive episode

which lasted several minutes.

We don't know the cause
or the ramifications yet.

Worst-case scenario?

Could have had a stroke.

We won't know until he's awake.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

There you are.

Hey, how's Max doing?

Meeting the Andersons
as we speak, yeah.

For what it's worth,
they seem like, uh...

- real nice folks.
- That's good.

You know, John, you have
this, um, extraordinary gift

for communicating with kids.

You know, it's like...
and being straight with them.

And I've seen you do it.

So I... I guess
I'm just curious, you know,

what... what happened today?

[breathes deeply]

An old friend came back
into my life

a few weeks ago,

and it kind of threw me,
I guess.

Oh. Ainsley?

I, uh... I met her when
she was shadowing Maggie.

She was a real nice lady.

- Thinks the world of you.
- [clears throat]

Yeah. Uh...

we used to be really close.

A TV set isn't exactly
a normal environment

to grow up in.

And Ainsley always
looked out for me.

She stood up for me
with the producers,

always made sure
I had a voice in the room.

So kind of like a...

mother figure on-screen and off.

No, no, no, it wasn't like that.

It was, um...

it was more of a...

[dramatic music]

I don't...
I don't even know anymore.

♪ ♪

I think...

maybe I've been making up
this story all these years

about who Ainsley
really was to me.

But, um...

towards the end
of our relationship,

it turned into something that...

I don't really know
if I was ready for.

- Physical relationship?
- She had no idea.

I'm not trying to make it
like that.

I-I never voiced
that I was uncomfortable.

She wasn't trying to, like...

Maybe you didn't think
you could, you know.

Maybe you were... I don't know...
afraid that if she knew

that you were uncomfortable
that you'd lose her, you know,

lose all those parts
of her that...

parts of the relationship
that made you feel safe.

Our minds are so good
at protecting us,

you know, telling us stories.

It can take a long time
to unwind them,

but it also takes real bravery,
John, you know...

look a story in the face,
stare it down.

Seeing it...
see it for what it really is.

[knock on door]

- Hey.
- Hey.

I know I'm early, but I thought

you might need
a hand setting up.

Oh, does it look
like I need a hand?

Uh, yes, very much so.

Can you hang this
above the fireplace?

- Yeah.
- Thank you. OK.

[babbling]

Oh, hey, big guy,
happy birthday.

How you doing?

Sorry I've been kind of MIA.

Didn't you, like, almost die
in a well not that long ago?

I think you're allowed
a little me time.

Yeah. Still, I should have
checked in after, um...

you know, after what happened
last time I came over.

Oh, God.

See if you wanted
to talk about it.

"Talk about it"? No.
I don't want to talk about it.

- Ew.
- "Ew"?

I hadn't slept in over 36 hours,

and I was feeling
so horribly alone,

and I was missing Sully
like crazy.

And I... I don't know
what I was thinking, but...

It was a mistake.
It... it didn't mean anything.

No, of course not.

OK. [chuckles]

Sorry, you don't think
I've been, like,

secretly harboring
feelings for you?

No. No, no, no.

I just... I just wanted to make
sure we were on the same page.

Yeah, which is, you know,
let's pretend

it never happened,
never speak of it again.

Fine by me.

- So we're good?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

OK.

[sighs]

[chuckles]

I really wish Sully were here.

He loved birthdays.

Nate's reminding me more
and more of him every day.

- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

Has he started pummeling
kids at day care?

[both laugh]

Oh, thank you for that.

I've got 30 people coming over
in less than an hour.

I... I can't be a weepy mess.

Honey? Honey?

Hi. Matt.

- Matt, can you hear me?
- [groans softly]

Hey, Matt.

Hey, buddy, I know you're tired.

Stay with me now.

You know where you are?

Honey, try to say something.

Um...

How... how is Clarissa?

Clarissa.

Clarissa's great.

The, um, transplant
couldn't have gone better.

How are you feeling?

Mm, sore.

Yeah, well, that's about right.

Can you follow
the light, please?

Wiggle your toes for me.

♪ ♪

All right, now grab
my fingers and squeeze.

♪ ♪

Matt, we can get an MRI
just to be safe,

but I'm not seeing
anything concerning.

- Huh?
- All good news, Matt.

Sam, babe, I'm so sorry.

No, it's OK, it's OK.

♪ ♪

Hannah,
I know I've made you feel

like you owe me this great debt.

No, it isn't
about paying back a debt.

This is me wanting to see
my big sister become a mom

so I can watch her
and learn how.

Wait, Hannah.
Do you want kids?

♪ ♪

Someday, maybe.

- I didn't know that.
- [both laugh]

Yeah, well, up until a couple
months ago, I didn't either.

[chuckles] Um...

this patient of mine,
her name was Elise,

she asked me if I wanted kids.

And for the first time,
I said...

yes, out loud.

That is great, Hannah.

- [chuckles]
- Oh.

But you shouldn't put off

having a baby of your own
to have mine.

OK, well, as you know, I'm
not exactly in a relationship.

Well, that could change.

And unlike you, I'm not
brave enough to raise a child

on my own and...

nowhere near ready.

But you are, Lizzy.

Let me do this for you.

It'll be the honor of my life.

[sighs]

For the record,
this is why I said

we shouldn't extend
negotiations.

Wait, what are you
talking about?

- Didn't you see the email?
- No, what happened?

We got played.

- [indistinct chatter]
- [sighs]

Sharon.

Did you suggest an extension
to buy the hospital time

to finish securing housing
for the scabs that you hired?

Excuse me.

No, I didn't propose
an extension to buy us

more time to prepare.

I did it
to hopefully avoid a strike.

But the hospital has
already hired scabs?

Well, it would be
grossly negligent

not to have replacements secured

should the nurses strike.

Hiring scabs before
we even call for a strike vote

shows that the hospital had
no plans to negotiate.

Maggie...

The extension was about
undercutting our leverage.

You know,
I really don't appreciate

your coming at me like this.

And I don't appreciate
being played

by one of my best friends,
especially when I stood there

in front of the union
vouching for you.

This is a negotiation, Maggie.

Both sides make
necessary tactical moves.

Please, please,
let's not make this personal.

I'm sorry, Sharon.
I'm afraid it already is.

Maggie.

[sighs]

Hey.

- Boy, your timing is fortuitous.
- What do you mean?

Well, I wrapped shooting today.

I'm flying out tomorrow morning.

Let's go up to my room.
We can have a glass of wine.

We could sit on the balcony.

Ainsley, I'm not going
up to your room.

Just to talk.

I was thinking a lot
about what you said.

OK.

That we... you know, what
we had wasn't just a fling,

that... that it meant something.

Yeah. I mean, it did to me.

It did to me, too.

Yeah, see, what it meant was,

I would never be able to carry
on a long-term relationship

as an adult.

Yeah.

See, I've never had
a relationship

that lasted longer than a year.

Most of my friendships
are all surface-level,

because when it inevitably
gets to that point

where I'm supposed to open up
and reveal more of myself,

I push them away, or I bail.

And you blame me for that.

Because I deserve that.
I do. I know.

When I ended things, it was...

it was abrupt,
but I needed space...

I'm not talking
about how it ended.

It shouldn't have ever started
in the first place.

- Why would you say that?
- I was too young.

You're making this sound
like I forced myself on you.

I'm not trying to say that.

Because I don't remember
you having a problem with it.

I actually remember you wanting
it just as much as I did.

Yeah, I was scared to lose you.

Yeah.

I felt safe with you, Ainsley.

You were the first person
I ever trusted...

until, you know, I didn't.

Don't look back with
a lens of judgment

on something that was so...

Something that was
really messed up?

You're forgetting
how happy you were.

You think because
I was smiling in a photograph,

that means I was happy?

We were in love.

I promise you, it was love.

Yeah, that... that's something
that I used to believe.

Yeah, it helped me sleep
at night.

Does it help you?

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[wolf howls]