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Watch it!
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Just like the one that got away
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So close, but yet so far
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I threw my hook into the water
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I nearly caught her
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How bizarre
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Now I'm up the creek
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Though I have lost a little pride
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I'm up the creek
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I know that time is on my side
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I'm up the creek
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Though you have pulled the plug on me
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I'm up the creek
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There's more than one fish in the sea
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I'm not about to let it be
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I know that I am up the creek
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Hey! Hey!
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The foreign legion's always there
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I need a holiday
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Daydream in the desert
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With no pressure
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That's the way 'cause I'm up the creek
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Oh, I've lost a little pride
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I'm up the creek
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I know that time is on my side
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I'm up the creek
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Though you have pulled the plug on me
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I'm up the creek
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There's more than one fish in the sea
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I'm not about to let it be
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I know that I am up the creek
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I'm up the creek
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Without a paddle
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I'm up the creek
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But that don't matter at all
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Don't matter at all
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I'm up the creek
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Without a paddle
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I'm up the creek
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But it don't matter at all
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Don't matter at all
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Oh!
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Hey! Hey!
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Excuse me, could you...
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What a big nightstick!
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Mom? No! Take me!
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It wasn't Mr. Moo-moo. Don't wake Mr. Moo-moo!
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No!
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Okay, okay. How about lunch?
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Gotta get lunch, right?
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Max, it's five in the morning!
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What about dinner? You gotta get hungry sometime today...
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Hello?
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Desperation's not pretty.
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Cheese!
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Hey!
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See Jose run.
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Run, Jose, run!
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Jose has no green card.
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It was open!
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Get out of bed, McGraw, we haven't got all day.
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The 200's out then, huh?
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I've seen your record, McGraw.
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I know what kind of a guy you are,
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so don't give me an excuse to use this.
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Your mother's ugly. You're stupid.
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- Your sister makes it with... - You stinking...
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Stop it, Leslie. Get ahold of yourself!
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Don't let this jerk get to you.
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Come on, I'm sorry.
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Let's just forget I said anything, okay?
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Let's be pals.
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What do you say, Leslie?
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Leslie!
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Come on, let me hit him just once.
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Just one little crack on the head, that's all I'm asking.
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All right. Just a little one. But make it fast.
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Hey, don't you guys have a sense of humor?
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Get rid of the bottle, McGraw.
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Oh, Leslie. For you, anything.
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Come on. Come on.
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Hey!
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Dean Burch.
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You've had quite a colorful career as a student, Mr. McGraw.
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You've managed to be suspended, expelled, or physically thrown out of
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16 colleges and universities throughout the country.
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You've changed your major 23 times.
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And your presence has been tied directly
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to three university presidents losing their jobs,
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two others being committed to sanitariums,
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and at least one known suicide.
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Have I left anything out?
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Just the good stuff.
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Mr. McGraw, as you are aware,
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this university, our university
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has the reputation as the single worst educational institution in the country.
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That's because it is the worst
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educational institution in the country, sir.
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Do you realize that not one single student,
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including you, and them,
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has ever won any award for anything?
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Not one ribbon, not one trophy.
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In fact, the only certifiable recognition
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that any of our alumni have ever received
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is a parole.
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Mr. McGraw, every year for the past 15 years
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the colleges and universities of this country
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have held an intercollegiate raft race.
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If just once we...
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I mean you
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could win this race for our school,
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it would mean an end
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to jokes like "Lobotomy U."
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it would mean that for the first time in our history...
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Let me clarify my position, so that you can understand.
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A raft means a river,
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and a river means rapids,
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and rapids spells death.
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You got the wrong guy!
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Not so fast, McGraw!
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Okay.
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You've got the wrong guy.
123
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Excuse me, Dean Burch.
124
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Um, I think there's another point that should be made.
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I don't need this aggravation,
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and this really doesn't sound like a lot of fun.
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I'm damned if I'll let my university
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be the laughing stock of this country any longer!
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I want a victory with a capital "V" and I want it now!
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No more excuses! No more holding back!
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That's why I picked you. And them!
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You have the distinct honor of being
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the four worst students in the entire country.
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You are not at the bottom of the list,
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you are the bottom of the list!
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That's why you're going to win this race for me and Lepetomane.
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You're the only men who virtually have nothing left to lose!
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Except my temper.
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Mr. McGraw,
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I'm not asking you to do this for nothing.
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In fact, I'm prepared to make a very generous offer.
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Degrees.
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For all of you.
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Degrees?
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In whatever subject you like.
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English lit?
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If that's what you want.
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Providing, of course, that you win.
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Physics?
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Biochemistry. With a minor in art history.
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Home Ec?
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And what if I say no?
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I was hoping we could avoid this scene,
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but since you feel the need to test me...
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I suppose you know nothing about the student loans
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you've taken out in 35 different names.
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Or last semester's bookmaking operation in the computer center.
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You think you can blackmail me
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into playing this little game of yours, don't you?
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Well, I got news for you, Mister.
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This aingt just any dumb schmo you're dealing with here,
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this is Bob McGraw. The Bob McGraw.
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And it's gonna take men a lot bigger than you
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to make this guy play ball.
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How about Poli-Sci?
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I don't believe it!
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Bob, listen to this. She dumped me!
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Aw, come on, Max.
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Bob, she said she never wants to see me again.
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Let me tell you something about women.
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They always say the opposite of what they mean.
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- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
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"If you come within a three block radius of my house,
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"I will have my new boyfriend Vito
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"rip off your head and spit in your neck."
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You're right, kid. You've been dumped.
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Forget about her. Have a drink, huh?
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The bar is now open. Cocktails, anyone?
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- Banana daiquiri. - Martini, straight up.
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Okay. Here you go, extra dry, just the way you like it.
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Thank you.
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How about you, big guy?
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I'm all set.
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Gonzer, do you realize what you're doing to your body?
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That stuff's gonna kill you!
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Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow,
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but soon, and for the rest of your life.
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Gonz, your body is your temple.
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If you don't worship it, who will?
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And, Gonz, your temple is starting to resemble the astrodome.
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Hey, Max is right. Get rid of that shit.
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Come on, Gonzer, show food who's boss.
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Throw it out the window.
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Gonzer! Gonzer!
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Gonzer! Gonzer! Gonzer!
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- That's the way to go! - All right, Gonz!
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What would you like to drink?
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- Let me have a Brandy Alexander. - Brandy Alexander.
199
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There you go. Especially for you.
200
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Gonz, you look thinner already.
201
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Excuse me. Excuse me.
202
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Uh, look, Bob, I know we're not exactly the best.
203
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As a matter of fact, we're not even very good.
204
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But, uh, do you think we have a chance?
205
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Everybody's got a chance, kid.
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This is America.
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Let's take you, for example.
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Skinny, uncoordinated,
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got a yellow streak down your back a mile wide,
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you're anemic, you dress like a creep,
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you've got the personality of a mayo and baloney on white.
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You're the kind of guy most people wouldn't give the time of day to.
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What does that mean?
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I don't know.
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- That doesn't mean... - Bob!
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...you don't have a chance.
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Look at me!
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Gee, I never thought of it like that.
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Hey, don't mention it, kid.
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Oh, geez!
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Gonzer!
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Oh, man!
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Gonzer!
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You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
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It wasn't me, man.
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Who was it?
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- It wasn't! - Who was it?
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It was Chuck!
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Ivy U! Ivy U!
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Roland Tozer.
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- Rex Crandall. - Rex.
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- Roger Van Dyke. - Roger.
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Men, I have a lot of race preparation to do before tomorrow morning.
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What do you say we just cut the bullshit and get down to business?
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Standard race equipment.
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Regulation handle, stock and blade.
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With the exception of a little added feature.
238
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Which is quite effective when it comes to
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slashing the tubes of rafts without dropping a stroke.
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-Impressive. - Adequate.
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You haven't seen anything yet.
242
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The Ivy U race kit.
243
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Baby!
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These ought to take care of any front runners.
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Explosives!
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Is this it?
247
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Not to worry. There's plenty more back at my house.
248
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What you cannot destroy or disable,
249
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I will have my referees disqualify.
250
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Good. Very good.
251
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Here it is. $5,000 in hundreds, just like you requested.
252
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Well, thanks.
253
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Would you like the trophy now,
254
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or do you want to wait until you actually cross the finish line?
255
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What, and disappoint the crowd?
256
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I can't wait to be standing on my deck
257
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watching you come around that bend. Thanks.
258
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Aren't you gonna count it?
259
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What, distrust of an alumnus? Class of '63.
260
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I'll see you in the winner's circle.
261
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Thank you, sir.
262
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I need a shave. Bath. Cup of coffee and a good woman.
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Something told me we've come to the wrong place.
264
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Fill it up, Gonz.
265
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You got any money?
266
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What the hell's this?
267
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Will you check the oil?
268
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Yes, sir. Just as soon as I'm done here.
269
00:17:09,046 --> 00:17:10,839
What the heck, I'll do that for you.
270
00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:13,175
No use you standing there holding your hose.
271
00:17:14,885 --> 00:17:16,511
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks a lot.
272
00:17:16,595 --> 00:17:19,222
Sure. That's it there.
273
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,517
- Hiya. - Hi, how are ya?
274
00:17:22,601 --> 00:17:23,727
Not bad. Yourself?
275
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,145
- Okay. - Good.
276
00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:27,606
Lots of grit.
277
00:17:27,689 --> 00:17:30,025
Yeah, they get that way, I guess.
278
00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:36,114
Looks good.
279
00:17:36,198 --> 00:17:37,824
Looks great to me.
280
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,331
Wait. Wait. Maybe you better check the battery.
281
00:17:44,414 --> 00:17:45,957
It's in here somewhere. I'm not sure where it is.
282
00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:47,209
It's over here.
283
00:17:47,292 --> 00:17:50,087
- Oh, that's a big one. - Yeah, they gotta be.
284
00:17:50,462 --> 00:17:51,505
Get up!
285
00:17:51,588 --> 00:17:53,465
You give me a hard on!
286
00:17:53,548 --> 00:17:54,591
Get up!
287
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,968
Party!
288
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,721
Ivy U! Ivy U!
289
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,124
Listen to this part, you guys.
290
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:30,293
"His strong hands ran over her hardened nipples.
291
00:18:30,627 --> 00:18:32,838
"The tender touch of his glistening body
292
00:18:32,921 --> 00:18:35,966
"sent shock waves running through her naked breasts."
293
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:38,719
I believe I've read this book before, Molly.
294
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,637
You know, I think I read it, too.
295
00:18:40,721 --> 00:18:42,097
I think it's in the next chapter
296
00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:44,975
where they start talking about his "throbbing spaceship of love."
297
00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,061
Is that what Rexy-poo calls it?
298
00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:50,522
Never mind, Corky.
299
00:18:52,607 --> 00:18:55,861
Look! It's Rexy and the Ivy boys.
300
00:18:55,944 --> 00:18:57,612
If it isn't the spaceship of love.
301
00:18:57,696 --> 00:18:59,990
And it's throbbing away, I'm sure.
302
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:02,576
Can you believe it? We actually caught up with these guys!
303
00:19:02,659 --> 00:19:04,161
At 110 miles per hour,
304
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,746
I'm surprised we didn't run them over.
305
00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:06,872
Really!
306
00:19:22,012 --> 00:19:24,598
Looks like Rex has other things on his mind besides me.
307
00:19:25,056 --> 00:19:26,183
Oh!
308
00:19:26,892 --> 00:19:28,518
Fill it up, okay?
309
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,947
Okay. ls there anything else?
310
00:19:41,031 --> 00:19:43,617
Gaskets? New upholstery? Retreads? Paint job?
311
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,660
No, I think that's about it.
312
00:19:45,744 --> 00:19:47,245
I think everything's okey-dokey.
313
00:19:47,329 --> 00:19:48,413
- O key-dokey? - Yeah.
314
00:19:55,045 --> 00:19:56,463
Wait!
315
00:20:04,596 --> 00:20:05,764
Is that it?
316
00:20:05,847 --> 00:20:07,849
Well, the air cleaner.
317
00:20:08,183 --> 00:20:10,727
We've been having trouble with the suction.
318
00:20:13,605 --> 00:20:16,358
Rex, I know you're in there! Now open this door now!
319
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,277
Ladies!
320
00:20:19,361 --> 00:20:20,904
May I be of some assistance here?
321
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,197
Not unless you can open that door.
322
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,657
No problem. Hair pin?
323
00:20:24,574 --> 00:20:27,118
- Heather! - Listen, if you guys aren't busy later...
324
00:20:30,455 --> 00:20:31,873
You can't see a thing.
325
00:20:32,749 --> 00:20:34,668
Come on, Rex has got business to take care of.
326
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,509
Heather! Hi.
327
00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:46,471
Peaches! What are you doing here?
328
00:20:47,806 --> 00:20:50,225
That's it. That does it. It's over!
329
00:20:51,309 --> 00:20:52,644
Maybe dinner? Some dancing?
330
00:20:52,727 --> 00:20:53,979
You're an asshole!
331
00:20:54,062 --> 00:20:55,230
Asshole already?
332
00:20:55,313 --> 00:20:56,481
Heather, wait a minute!
333
00:20:57,315 --> 00:20:59,109
Chuck, next time don't drink out of the toilet bowl
334
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:00,277
till I check it first, okay?
335
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:02,821
- Heather... - Not now.
336
00:21:04,114 --> 00:21:05,323
Heather!
337
00:21:05,490 --> 00:21:06,783
I have nothing to say to you.
338
00:21:06,867 --> 00:21:08,410
I'm sure if you just took the time to get to know me
339
00:21:08,493 --> 00:21:09,995
-we could work something out. - Heather.
340
00:21:10,453 --> 00:21:12,664
I don't even want to see you again, ever. Do you understand that?
341
00:21:12,747 --> 00:21:14,082
You are nothing but a cheap, lying bastard.
342
00:21:14,165 --> 00:21:16,209
- I've had enough! - Calm down!
343
00:21:17,085 --> 00:21:18,837
Who are you? Get out of my way.
344
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,046
No, no, no. She's right.
345
00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:22,799
You are a cheap, lying bastard and we've had enough.
346
00:21:22,883 --> 00:21:24,384
You stinking...
347
00:21:27,429 --> 00:21:29,222
I'm so sorry, Heather! I...
348
00:21:30,307 --> 00:21:31,641
Take your hands off her!
349
00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:32,976
Take your hands off of me!
350
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:34,936
Take your hands off of her!
351
00:21:36,313 --> 00:21:38,565
If ever I can be of further assistance,
352
00:21:38,648 --> 00:21:40,275
feel free to call on me.
353
00:21:40,358 --> 00:21:42,569
Anytime, anywhere.
354
00:21:45,655 --> 00:21:47,115
Thank you.
355
00:21:52,871 --> 00:21:54,205
You son of a bitch.
356
00:21:58,668 --> 00:22:00,086
Sorry.
357
00:22:00,170 --> 00:22:02,964
You get in my way again, and you're gonna be sorry you were born.
358
00:22:03,256 --> 00:22:06,009
He knew then and there that the friendship they had had since youth
359
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:08,219
had died a sudden and tragic death,
360
00:22:08,303 --> 00:22:10,013
destroyed by the love of a woman.
361
00:22:15,060 --> 00:22:17,312
Heather! Cupcake, listen to me!
362
00:22:17,395 --> 00:22:18,855
Forget it, Rex! You're history!
363
00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:21,149
Shit.
364
00:22:26,488 --> 00:22:28,281
$213.37?
365
00:22:30,325 --> 00:22:32,160
Keep the change, pal.
366
00:22:45,256 --> 00:22:47,676
I don't think I need to remind you gentlemen
367
00:22:47,759 --> 00:22:49,719
about the importance of this race.
368
00:22:50,428 --> 00:22:52,847
I don't think I have to bore you with the fact
369
00:22:52,931 --> 00:22:55,016
that the Washington Military Institute
370
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:58,728
has won this race for the past three years!
371
00:22:59,104 --> 00:23:01,147
I don't think I need to stress the fact
372
00:23:01,231 --> 00:23:04,192
that we will win this race at any cost,
373
00:23:04,275 --> 00:23:07,362
because a corpsman, in his heart, in his gut,
374
00:23:07,445 --> 00:23:09,239
knows no such thing as defeat!
375
00:23:10,782 --> 00:23:13,535
Victory is the only thing he'll eat.
376
00:23:14,035 --> 00:23:15,745
And he'll eat it raw!
377
00:23:16,287 --> 00:23:18,039
Will We Win?
378
00:23:18,123 --> 00:23:19,249
Yes, sir!
379
00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:21,209
Then move out!
380
00:23:21,292 --> 00:23:23,211
Detail, hut!
381
00:23:29,426 --> 00:23:31,386
All right, roll!
382
00:23:33,221 --> 00:23:34,806
You see that?
383
00:23:46,276 --> 00:23:48,278
A town like any other town.
384
00:23:48,361 --> 00:23:50,613
A town with nothing to hide.
385
00:23:50,697 --> 00:23:53,199
Until they arrived.
386
00:23:53,283 --> 00:23:54,617
Okay!
387
00:23:59,039 --> 00:24:00,582
Come on, Chuck.
388
00:24:02,125 --> 00:24:03,376
Here we are.
389
00:24:04,627 --> 00:24:05,837
Ladies.
390
00:24:11,134 --> 00:24:14,679
Gonzer! Down, boy! Down, boy. Here you go. Good boy.
391
00:24:19,893 --> 00:24:21,519
Nice finger.
392
00:24:21,603 --> 00:24:23,021
I was just checking out the competition.
393
00:24:23,354 --> 00:24:24,647
Come on, Chuck!
394
00:24:26,858 --> 00:24:29,486
We're the men from WM!
395
00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:31,404
Shalom aleichem.
396
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,783
Yeah, a few more guys...
397
00:24:37,744 --> 00:24:38,787
Excuse me.
398
00:24:38,870 --> 00:24:40,914
Is that spacelab up there?
399
00:24:40,997 --> 00:24:43,041
- No, I guess not. - No.
400
00:24:52,050 --> 00:24:55,053
The competition looks a little weirder than I expected.
401
00:25:01,226 --> 00:25:03,603
What's the matter, Chuck? You're not thirsty?
402
00:25:08,525 --> 00:25:11,194
Oh, it's the call, isn't it, Chuck?
403
00:25:12,821 --> 00:25:14,239
It's reaching out to you.
404
00:25:14,322 --> 00:25:15,865
It's pulling you from the gut.
405
00:25:16,074 --> 00:25:17,283
Isn't that right, boy?
406
00:25:17,659 --> 00:25:20,829
You meet me tomorrow morning, 10:00, at the portage.
407
00:25:20,912 --> 00:25:22,372
Don't be late.
408
00:25:22,455 --> 00:25:25,500
Come here, come here. Come here, slugger.
409
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,756
Don't stay up all night, and don't drink too much.
410
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,635
Remember that night on the west side with that bitch, binga, binga?
411
00:25:35,718 --> 00:25:37,053
Go on, get outta here.
412
00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:41,432
Horny bastard.
413
00:25:49,065 --> 00:25:50,400
Thank you.
414
00:25:53,611 --> 00:25:54,904
Nice jugs.
415
00:26:01,244 --> 00:26:02,537
Ringside seats.
416
00:26:04,956 --> 00:26:07,083
Lively crowd, huh?
417
00:26:08,168 --> 00:26:09,794
Hey, did you order me that old fashioned?
418
00:26:09,878 --> 00:26:12,172
Oh, yeah, just the way you like it, extra bitters.
419
00:26:12,255 --> 00:26:15,258
I knew I could count on you. Here's to mediocrity.
420
00:26:15,341 --> 00:26:17,218
Mediocrity, yeah!
421
00:26:24,142 --> 00:26:25,435
Nice right cross.
422
00:26:27,854 --> 00:26:30,273
Now, there's a girl who knows how to party.
423
00:26:35,236 --> 00:26:36,696
Gonz, who ordered this?
424
00:26:36,779 --> 00:26:38,239
I'll take it.
425
00:26:41,784 --> 00:26:44,162
There's the woman-hitter and his colleagues.
426
00:26:44,245 --> 00:26:45,580
Nice hair.
427
00:26:49,792 --> 00:26:51,419
I don't think he likes you.
428
00:26:55,048 --> 00:26:57,675
Would you look at all that beefcake.
429
00:26:58,218 --> 00:27:01,012
The odds are definitely in our favor.
430
00:27:01,095 --> 00:27:02,764
Take no prisoners.
431
00:27:07,101 --> 00:27:08,686
- Here you go, ladies. - Thanks.
432
00:27:08,770 --> 00:27:10,063
My pleasure.
433
00:27:10,438 --> 00:27:12,815
So you girls here for the big race tomorrow?
434
00:27:12,899 --> 00:27:16,110
No, actually, we're here to get laid.
435
00:27:21,282 --> 00:27:22,617
Look at that one there!
436
00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:24,577
Gonzer, that's a guy.
437
00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:31,167
Hey, can I buy you a drink, Irwin?
438
00:27:31,251 --> 00:27:32,752
No, no, I'm fine.
439
00:27:32,835 --> 00:27:34,212
Pink dress.
440
00:27:34,671 --> 00:27:36,089
Max, no!
441
00:27:36,172 --> 00:27:37,382
Come on.
442
00:27:40,677 --> 00:27:42,178
Is it slowing?
443
00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,402
- Way to go, Gonz! - Good job, buddy!
444
00:27:58,987 --> 00:28:02,615
Gentlemen! Soldiers, the map! Once again.
445
00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:04,242
Johnson!
446
00:28:04,325 --> 00:28:06,327
We enter left, we paddle right behind the big rock.
447
00:28:06,411 --> 00:28:08,454
Then left again past the dead tree, sir!
448
00:28:08,538 --> 00:28:09,664
Brown !
449
00:28:09,747 --> 00:28:11,791
Hard forward till we reach the turn of the rapids,
450
00:28:11,874 --> 00:28:13,126
then hug the shore, sir.
451
00:28:13,418 --> 00:28:14,752
Lieutenant Whitney!
452
00:28:14,836 --> 00:28:16,504
Baron's rapids, head for the hole,
453
00:28:16,587 --> 00:28:19,382
do a 360 degree turn and paddle hard right, sir!
454
00:28:19,716 --> 00:28:21,384
Good. Good.
455
00:28:22,010 --> 00:28:24,220
Now it's time for night-night.
456
00:28:25,596 --> 00:28:30,476
All right, guys, there's work to be done. It's sabotage time.
457
00:28:41,237 --> 00:28:43,573
- What do you want? - Stoli with a twist.
458
00:28:46,951 --> 00:28:48,286
Thank you.
459
00:29:07,805 --> 00:29:09,015
Hey, want a little popcorn?
460
00:29:09,098 --> 00:29:11,100
Oh! Excuse me. Gosh, I spilled that.
461
00:29:11,517 --> 00:29:13,269
I'll get it. That's...
462
00:29:17,774 --> 00:29:19,233
Hey, watch it.
463
00:29:19,859 --> 00:29:21,069
Watch what?
464
00:29:21,152 --> 00:29:23,988
Watch what a fool I can make out of myself.
465
00:29:24,238 --> 00:29:25,990
Is that worth watching?
466
00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:27,867
I'm very good at it,
467
00:29:27,950 --> 00:29:31,454
especially when I'm in the company of such an attractive woman.
468
00:29:31,537 --> 00:29:33,539
Haven't we met somewhere before?
469
00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:37,001
I suppose
470
00:29:37,085 --> 00:29:39,670
next you're gonna ask me if you can buy me a drink.
471
00:29:40,046 --> 00:29:42,256
"Aha" he says to himself,
472
00:29:42,340 --> 00:29:45,968
"here is a woman who knows a come-on when she hears one.
473
00:29:46,677 --> 00:29:48,763
"He thinks he's got her where he wants her,
474
00:29:48,846 --> 00:29:50,473
"but he has to make sure."
475
00:29:51,099 --> 00:29:52,809
Can I buy you a drink?
476
00:29:53,351 --> 00:29:55,978
She refuses with a shake of her beautiful head.
477
00:29:56,062 --> 00:29:57,355
That's perfect!
478
00:29:57,438 --> 00:30:01,401
She's passed the second test, but she's not an easy mark.
479
00:30:02,276 --> 00:30:04,153
Still, he must try the last line.
480
00:30:04,821 --> 00:30:05,947
What...
481
00:30:06,030 --> 00:30:07,156
What's your major?
482
00:30:08,366 --> 00:30:09,659
Gin and tonic.
483
00:30:09,742 --> 00:30:10,993
Gin and tonic for the lady!
484
00:30:14,372 --> 00:30:16,624
Make it two, will you? Thank you, my man.
485
00:30:16,707 --> 00:30:18,501
You wanna fool around? You wanna get married?
486
00:30:18,584 --> 00:30:19,752
Want fellatio or what?
487
00:30:19,836 --> 00:30:22,505
If I'm being too forward, just tell me to back off.
488
00:30:22,588 --> 00:30:24,382
How about a name first?
489
00:30:24,465 --> 00:30:27,218
An old-fashioned girl, I like that.
490
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,011
McGraw.
491
00:30:30,555 --> 00:30:31,973
Bob McGraw.
492
00:30:33,724 --> 00:30:35,268
Rex, where you going?
493
00:30:35,351 --> 00:30:36,602
Hey, man!
494
00:30:37,687 --> 00:30:39,063
I'm Heather.
495
00:30:39,897 --> 00:30:41,691
Heather Merriweather.
496
00:30:54,454 --> 00:30:56,622
If I'm being too forward, just tell me.
497
00:30:57,373 --> 00:30:59,584
No, no, no. Not at all.
498
00:31:01,419 --> 00:31:04,505
You know, it's a little crowded in here, don't you think?
499
00:31:04,755 --> 00:31:05,965
Smoky.
500
00:31:06,507 --> 00:31:07,675
Noisy.
501
00:31:08,259 --> 00:31:09,802
Crowded.
502
00:31:10,344 --> 00:31:12,722
What do you say we go for a walk?
503
00:31:12,805 --> 00:31:14,265
To my room.
504
00:31:14,348 --> 00:31:15,683
What do you say we run?
505
00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:19,270
What do you say give me 10 minutes?
506
00:31:19,353 --> 00:31:21,230
I'm in room 27.
507
00:31:21,731 --> 00:31:23,357
Do you think you can remember that?
508
00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:26,611
I'll carve it in the back of my hand.
509
00:31:37,830 --> 00:31:40,541
I guess this means no bedtime story.
510
00:31:41,083 --> 00:31:43,336
If I'm not back in two hours,
511
00:31:43,419 --> 00:31:44,921
borrow a book.
512
00:31:45,213 --> 00:31:46,422
Book?
513
00:32:11,906 --> 00:32:14,408
You beautiful bomb.
514
00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:34,387
It was a night.
515
00:32:34,470 --> 00:32:36,556
A real, wide open night
516
00:32:36,639 --> 00:32:39,600
filled with the stars of a thousand dreams.
517
00:32:40,101 --> 00:32:43,563
It was the kind of night that could only be found
518
00:32:43,646 --> 00:32:45,982
in a place called the West.
519
00:32:47,358 --> 00:32:49,819
Or maybe in a cheap spy novel.
520
00:32:50,361 --> 00:32:53,906
The kind with gorgeous, smooth-skinned women
521
00:32:53,990 --> 00:32:57,660
with accents and .45 caliber lips.
522
00:33:08,588 --> 00:33:10,840
My, how time flies. You dropped this!
523
00:33:20,391 --> 00:33:21,726
Are you all right?
524
00:33:24,270 --> 00:33:25,688
I'm gonna...
525
00:33:26,230 --> 00:33:29,525
I'm gonna get...
526
00:33:33,404 --> 00:33:35,906
Who's "ooh"?
527
00:33:52,673 --> 00:33:54,342
Who is it?
528
00:33:58,512 --> 00:34:00,348
- Hi. - Hi.
529
00:34:01,766 --> 00:34:03,893
Why don't you come on in and shut the door?
530
00:34:08,564 --> 00:34:09,732
Why don't you lock it?
531
00:34:14,987 --> 00:34:17,657
- Why don't you... - I think I can take it from here.
532
00:34:25,289 --> 00:34:26,749
Well...
533
00:34:26,999 --> 00:34:28,834
Here we are.
534
00:34:29,877 --> 00:34:31,379
All by ourselves.
535
00:34:31,462 --> 00:34:32,546
With the door locked.
536
00:34:33,089 --> 00:34:35,508
And me lying on the bed in a robe.
537
00:34:37,385 --> 00:34:40,638
I like a woman who's not afraid to play hard to get.
538
00:34:41,639 --> 00:34:44,141
I like a man who's not afraid to play hard.
539
00:34:48,396 --> 00:34:50,690
You know something, Bob McGraw?
540
00:34:52,316 --> 00:34:54,068
You look a little warm.
541
00:34:54,485 --> 00:34:57,905
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?
542
00:34:58,489 --> 00:35:01,325
I didn't bring anything "more comfortable."
543
00:35:02,910 --> 00:35:04,620
Well, how about me?
544
00:35:07,540 --> 00:35:09,375
You talked me into it.
545
00:35:18,551 --> 00:35:19,885
For crying out loud.
546
00:35:19,969 --> 00:35:23,097
This is a race, not a battlefield.
547
00:35:23,514 --> 00:35:26,892
With blatant disregard for rules and regulations,
548
00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:29,895
frivolous misuse of equipment and personnel...
549
00:35:29,979 --> 00:35:32,690
Where did you learn to be a soldier, soldier?
550
00:35:32,773 --> 00:35:33,941
The institute, sir.
551
00:35:34,316 --> 00:35:35,526
Well, I hope, for your sake,
552
00:35:35,609 --> 00:35:37,319
the institute is a lenient one.
553
00:35:39,530 --> 00:35:41,824
Under the circumstances, I have no choice
554
00:35:41,907 --> 00:35:44,660
but to impound your raft and disqualify you.
555
00:36:00,426 --> 00:36:02,136
- Tell me something. - What?
556
00:36:03,429 --> 00:36:06,432
Was that as good for you as it was for me?
557
00:36:06,515 --> 00:36:09,143
No. It was...
558
00:36:10,853 --> 00:36:13,522
Heather, it's Rex! Are you in there?
559
00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:15,816
- Company. How nice. - Heather!
560
00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:18,652
Rex, go away! I have nothing to say to you.
561
00:36:18,736 --> 00:36:21,280
You can just stay right here and just ignore him, okay?
562
00:36:21,363 --> 00:36:22,698
I hate to eat and run, but...
563
00:36:25,284 --> 00:36:27,787
Bob, am I ever gonna see you again?
564
00:36:28,537 --> 00:36:30,581
We are going to see each other again.
565
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,625
You wouldn't lie to me?
566
00:36:33,042 --> 00:36:35,044
Of course I'd lie to you, I'm a guy.
567
00:36:35,127 --> 00:36:37,004
But I'm not lying now.
568
00:36:38,339 --> 00:36:39,507
You mean it?
569
00:36:39,590 --> 00:36:40,674
Honest.
570
00:36:45,179 --> 00:36:46,972
Hey, guys,
571
00:36:47,056 --> 00:36:49,141
it's a little early for the Easter parade, don't you think?
572
00:36:49,225 --> 00:36:51,018
Look! It's Hailey's comet!
573
00:36:52,478 --> 00:36:54,730
Bright, real bright. Bye!
574
00:37:15,376 --> 00:37:16,836
Hello, asshole.
575
00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:18,712
Oops.
576
00:37:18,796 --> 00:37:21,549
Things looked bad for McGraw. He had to think fast.
577
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:27,179
Get him!
578
00:37:27,513 --> 00:37:29,098
Oh, shit! Hold it!
579
00:37:29,181 --> 00:37:30,683
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Guys, guys...
580
00:37:30,766 --> 00:37:33,310
Now, I know you're wondering why I called you all here tonight,
581
00:37:33,394 --> 00:37:35,938
because I want to talk to you about herpes.
582
00:37:46,782 --> 00:37:48,909
That's the end of that chapter.
583
00:37:51,537 --> 00:37:53,330
I don't wanna die tomorrow!
584
00:37:53,414 --> 00:37:56,166
You know I hate water. It ruins a good drink.
585
00:37:56,250 --> 00:37:58,460
Oh, I'm gonna projectile vomit on everyone!
586
00:37:59,003 --> 00:38:00,462
Excuse me.
587
00:38:01,422 --> 00:38:03,007
What am I, a turnstile?
588
00:38:04,592 --> 00:38:06,093
Bay mist.
589
00:38:06,176 --> 00:38:10,306
No, it's either Misty Crevice or Savage Truth.
590
00:38:10,389 --> 00:38:12,933
No, no, Bay Mist, I'm telling you.
591
00:38:15,936 --> 00:38:17,313
Bob!
592
00:38:18,981 --> 00:38:21,025
What happened? Are you okay?
593
00:38:21,734 --> 00:38:23,193
Bob, it's us!
594
00:38:24,361 --> 00:38:27,656
Oh, boy! Am I glad to see you guys.
595
00:38:27,740 --> 00:38:30,409
This is a terrible place to spend the night alone.
596
00:38:30,492 --> 00:38:31,952
Who did it?
597
00:38:32,703 --> 00:38:34,496
They got you, too?
598
00:38:34,580 --> 00:38:36,040
Bob, how many were there?
599
00:38:36,123 --> 00:38:38,042
I didn't get all their names,
600
00:38:39,293 --> 00:38:42,546
but they all wore the same cologne.
601
00:38:46,717 --> 00:38:50,054
You know, this is gonna be a piece of fucking cake.
602
00:38:51,764 --> 00:38:55,392
Good afternoon and welcome to this year's annual collegiate
603
00:38:55,476 --> 00:38:57,311
White Water Rafting Race.
604
00:38:57,394 --> 00:39:00,940
It's a perfect day for rapid competition.
605
00:39:01,023 --> 00:39:03,817
The temperature is a comfortable 86 degrees,
606
00:39:03,901 --> 00:39:06,987
the water at a refreshing 53 degrees.
607
00:39:08,739 --> 00:39:11,408
With the disqualification of last year's winner,
608
00:39:11,492 --> 00:39:13,661
Washington Military Institute,
609
00:39:13,744 --> 00:39:15,871
we have 13 entries this year.
610
00:39:15,955 --> 00:39:19,541
Good luck to all of our participants!
611
00:39:22,544 --> 00:39:25,589
It's either lose or win
612
00:39:25,673 --> 00:39:28,676
You'll either break or bend
613
00:39:28,759 --> 00:39:31,428
Pushing it one more inch
614
00:39:31,512 --> 00:39:34,848
You better be steady, boy
615
00:39:34,932 --> 00:39:37,977
It's waiting all for you
616
00:39:38,060 --> 00:39:41,105
Need to give all you've got
617
00:39:41,188 --> 00:39:43,649
It's time to take your shot
618
00:39:43,732 --> 00:39:46,986
You got nothing to lose
619
00:39:59,581 --> 00:40:01,500
I thought we got rid of him.
620
00:40:02,167 --> 00:40:04,420
Well, he's obviously a slow learner.
621
00:40:17,558 --> 00:40:18,934
Bob, what happened?
622
00:40:20,811 --> 00:40:22,354
Does it hurt?
623
00:40:22,938 --> 00:40:25,024
Not so much anymore, now that you're here.
624
00:40:25,274 --> 00:40:26,400
Was it that creep?
625
00:40:26,483 --> 00:40:29,153
Let's just say I slipped on a bar of soap in the shower
626
00:40:29,236 --> 00:40:30,612
as a bus ran out of control
627
00:40:30,696 --> 00:40:32,322
and crashed into the medicine cabinet.
628
00:40:32,781 --> 00:40:35,909
I'm really sorry. ls there anything I can do?
629
00:40:35,993 --> 00:40:38,203
Actually, I made a list, but, uh...
630
00:40:38,871 --> 00:40:41,457
This will have to suffice until the race is over.
631
00:40:48,964 --> 00:40:51,759
Ten minutes! Ten minutes to starting time!
632
00:40:52,217 --> 00:40:54,344
Okay, come on, guys! Where's your spirit?
633
00:40:54,595 --> 00:40:57,639
We oughta give these teams some support!
634
00:40:59,475 --> 00:41:02,102
Come on, we can't send 'em down the river with nothing.
635
00:41:02,186 --> 00:41:03,520
What do you say?
636
00:41:06,565 --> 00:41:08,233
Yeah! What do you say?
637
00:41:24,249 --> 00:41:26,335
There they are.
638
00:41:27,586 --> 00:41:31,590
All getting ready for the start of their little race.
639
00:41:32,508 --> 00:41:36,303
Does that civilian mashed potato think he can disqualify us?
640
00:41:37,429 --> 00:41:39,181
They'll see.
641
00:41:39,264 --> 00:41:41,225
They'll see!
642
00:41:41,850 --> 00:41:44,353
The race will continue for two days.
643
00:41:44,895 --> 00:41:47,606
Today you will race to this point, Beaver Flats,
644
00:41:47,689 --> 00:41:50,192
where the first five teams will pick up flags.
645
00:41:50,275 --> 00:41:53,028
And only the first five teams to pick up flags
646
00:41:53,112 --> 00:41:54,780
will be in the second day.
647
00:41:54,863 --> 00:41:56,949
And those of you who pick up flags
648
00:41:57,032 --> 00:41:58,992
will then portage to Chicken Falls
649
00:41:59,076 --> 00:42:01,203
where you will spend the night and turn in your flags.
650
00:42:01,286 --> 00:42:03,872
Then tomorrow morning at 10:00,
651
00:42:03,956 --> 00:42:06,291
you will continue the race downriver.
652
00:42:06,583 --> 00:42:10,379
Now, you all come here to represent your colleges and your universities.
653
00:42:10,462 --> 00:42:13,257
You have come here to participate in an annual event
654
00:42:13,340 --> 00:42:18,053
that shows good, healthy American competition is still alive.
655
00:42:20,597 --> 00:42:21,890
Before we start the race,
656
00:42:21,974 --> 00:42:24,017
I'd like to thank you for participating,
657
00:42:24,101 --> 00:42:26,937
wish you good luck, godspeed,
658
00:42:27,020 --> 00:42:28,647
and may the best team win.
659
00:42:33,819 --> 00:42:38,031
There he is.
660
00:42:38,532 --> 00:42:42,369
I'm gonna get that son of a bitch if it's the last thing I ever do!
661
00:42:45,956 --> 00:42:49,042
All right. Rafters, man your paddles!
662
00:42:52,379 --> 00:42:53,672
Ready.
663
00:42:57,092 --> 00:42:58,260
Set.
664
00:43:08,729 --> 00:43:11,064
There's the gun, and they're off!
665
00:43:11,148 --> 00:43:14,359
We've got 13 rafts racing for their school's honor.
666
00:43:14,526 --> 00:43:17,279
The rivalry between Arkansas Christian State
667
00:43:17,362 --> 00:43:21,491
and St. Martings Bible College heats up once again!
668
00:43:27,414 --> 00:43:29,958
And they're hitting the water, folks!
669
00:43:30,959 --> 00:43:33,879
Oh, my, folks, this is bedlam!
670
00:43:36,506 --> 00:43:38,634
The ladies of Iowa A&M...
671
00:43:40,636 --> 00:43:42,804
Uh-oh, what's this? Oh, that's too bad,
672
00:43:42,888 --> 00:43:45,682
looks like one more faulty equipment.
673
00:43:46,183 --> 00:43:49,895
We are now down to nine rafts, just nine!
674
00:43:49,978 --> 00:43:51,521
No, Bob!
675
00:43:53,732 --> 00:43:55,400
Look, guys, please! I don't wanna die!
676
00:43:55,484 --> 00:43:58,737
I'm so young, I've got my looks, I've got my health.
677
00:43:58,820 --> 00:44:01,073
- I've got my whole life ahead of me! - To the water!
678
00:44:01,156 --> 00:44:02,950
I've got too much to live for!
679
00:44:04,201 --> 00:44:05,577
Like what?
680
00:44:05,661 --> 00:44:07,496
Like what? Like what?
681
00:44:07,579 --> 00:44:08,872
Women.
682
00:44:08,956 --> 00:44:11,833
There might be a woman out there who might want to have sex with me.
683
00:44:17,339 --> 00:44:21,134
And that's Ivy U! Yes, Ivy U, this year's favorite.
684
00:44:21,885 --> 00:44:24,221
Three, two, one!
685
00:44:30,060 --> 00:44:32,020
Please don't make me do this.
686
00:44:32,104 --> 00:44:35,065
Don't make me go, all right? I'm gonna die!
687
00:44:35,148 --> 00:44:38,235
I don't wanna die! I wanna live!
688
00:44:43,073 --> 00:44:45,409
Thanks. I needed that.
689
00:44:46,493 --> 00:44:47,619
Shall we go?
690
00:44:54,918 --> 00:44:55,961
Get him out of there!
691
00:44:57,379 --> 00:44:58,672
Get in here, Shamu!
692
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,427
Hey, that's good.
693
00:45:46,386 --> 00:45:47,721
All right.
694
00:45:48,597 --> 00:45:50,265
Give me a hard left.
695
00:45:55,812 --> 00:45:58,440
Their situation seemed utterly hopeless.
696
00:45:58,523 --> 00:46:00,359
And with damn good reason.
697
00:46:14,915 --> 00:46:16,416
Yeah! All right!
698
00:46:24,591 --> 00:46:26,385
Pull! Pull!
699
00:46:29,304 --> 00:46:30,555
Come on!
700
00:47:06,508 --> 00:47:07,968
This is it, guys.
701
00:47:08,969 --> 00:47:11,638
We can do it, guys, I know we can. I can feel it.
702
00:47:11,721 --> 00:47:13,807
It's just water and rock, that's all!
703
00:47:14,474 --> 00:47:16,351
We'll show this river who's boss!
704
00:47:16,435 --> 00:47:18,061
This river will be ours!
705
00:47:23,150 --> 00:47:24,734
This is not a good sign.
706
00:47:24,818 --> 00:47:26,278
No.
707
00:47:28,530 --> 00:47:31,283
Sorry, guys, I guess I got a little carried away.
708
00:47:41,168 --> 00:47:42,669
Stop! Stop!
709
00:47:44,212 --> 00:47:46,506
Oh, my God!
710
00:48:19,998 --> 00:48:22,501
- That was great! - We did it!
711
00:48:25,003 --> 00:48:26,880
I don't believe it!
712
00:48:27,464 --> 00:48:30,509
Son of a bitch, we did it. And we're still alive!
713
00:48:30,884 --> 00:48:33,094
Un-fucking-believable!
714
00:48:33,178 --> 00:48:35,805
Wasn't bad for a bunch of losers!
715
00:48:36,181 --> 00:48:40,018
Well, you have just made it through the world's most dangerous rapid!
716
00:48:40,268 --> 00:48:42,646
And now, it's beer time!
717
00:48:44,397 --> 00:48:47,108
I risked my life, and you give me light beer?
718
00:48:47,943 --> 00:48:50,779
Lepetomane! Lepetomane!
719
00:48:50,862 --> 00:48:52,280
Lepetomane!
720
00:48:56,993 --> 00:48:58,453
Das raft!
721
00:48:58,787 --> 00:49:00,872
We toast you!
722
00:49:02,374 --> 00:49:04,584
Hey, where've you Nazis been, huh?
723
00:49:04,668 --> 00:49:06,044
Didn't you see us go through those rapids?
724
00:49:06,127 --> 00:49:07,879
You think we're kidding around here?
725
00:49:11,550 --> 00:49:12,676
Hi, boys!
726
00:49:12,759 --> 00:49:15,011
Shoot him, Rex.
727
00:49:15,637 --> 00:49:17,889
I don't like those guys.
728
00:49:19,432 --> 00:49:21,518
I warned you, you bozo!
729
00:49:27,899 --> 00:49:29,025
What the hell is that?
730
00:49:29,109 --> 00:49:31,361
Oh, they hit us with a little dart.
731
00:49:32,571 --> 00:49:34,364
Good shot, Rex, good shot.
732
00:49:34,864 --> 00:49:37,450
Bob, it's ticking.
733
00:49:46,334 --> 00:49:50,380
Five, four, three, two, one!
734
00:49:55,677 --> 00:49:57,178
Take that, suckers!
735
00:49:59,514 --> 00:50:01,725
Were those the guys that got you last night?
736
00:50:01,808 --> 00:50:03,018
How could ya tell?
737
00:50:03,101 --> 00:50:04,978
They're all wearing the same cologne.
738
00:50:06,896 --> 00:50:08,023
Come on, guys,
739
00:50:08,106 --> 00:50:09,858
let's get the hell out of Dodge!
740
00:50:16,281 --> 00:50:19,075
All right, now get that rock in the sling...
741
00:50:19,159 --> 00:50:20,660
I'm going up!
742
00:50:27,584 --> 00:50:29,085
- Push, man! - I'm pushing!
743
00:50:43,391 --> 00:50:44,476
How we doing, guys?
744
00:50:44,559 --> 00:50:45,602
Ready, Bob.
745
00:50:45,727 --> 00:50:47,312
- Okay, let's go. - Darn, it's empty.
746
00:50:48,355 --> 00:50:50,774
Bob, it's empty.
747
00:50:50,857 --> 00:50:53,193
I gotta have a drink. I don't think I can make it.
748
00:50:53,276 --> 00:50:54,402
You can do it, kid, I know you can.
749
00:50:54,486 --> 00:50:55,987
No,no,no. I don't think I can.
750
00:50:57,072 --> 00:50:58,823
You're not trying.
751
00:50:59,908 --> 00:51:01,409
Lemme give it another shot.
752
00:51:02,327 --> 00:51:03,536
I knew you could do it.
753
00:51:05,413 --> 00:51:06,623
Irwin.
754
00:51:18,885 --> 00:51:20,970
All right. Left turn!
755
00:51:22,222 --> 00:51:23,306
Forward easy!
756
00:51:35,193 --> 00:51:36,736
- Push, man! - I'm pushing!
757
00:51:38,530 --> 00:51:39,656
Now!
758
00:51:40,782 --> 00:51:41,908
- Now? - Now?
759
00:51:50,583 --> 00:51:52,877
Unidentified flying asshole.
760
00:51:57,048 --> 00:51:58,967
- Party time! - Two! Two!
761
00:52:39,591 --> 00:52:41,634
Let's move!
762
00:52:52,187 --> 00:52:53,396
Where's Ivy U?
763
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:55,231
Who cares, as long as they're not ahead of us!
764
00:52:55,315 --> 00:52:56,733
Let's go)!
765
00:52:59,569 --> 00:53:00,862
Grab a flag!
766
00:53:03,114 --> 00:53:04,240
Got a flag!
767
00:53:06,910 --> 00:53:08,119
- Brown. - Sir!
768
00:53:08,244 --> 00:53:09,579
- Johnson. - Sir!
769
00:53:09,662 --> 00:53:11,414
Good job, men, good job!
770
00:53:14,959 --> 00:53:16,252
Whitney.
771
00:53:17,170 --> 00:53:18,421
Soon...
772
00:53:21,883 --> 00:53:23,176
Soon.
773
00:53:41,694 --> 00:53:42,987
Look at that!
774
00:53:43,071 --> 00:53:45,198
Now, that can stop us.
775
00:53:45,573 --> 00:53:47,158
Duck! Duck!
776
00:54:01,673 --> 00:54:04,050
Say your prayers, gentlemen.
777
00:54:08,429 --> 00:54:10,557
Come on, come on! They're gonna get past!
778
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:11,933
Now!
779
00:54:15,270 --> 00:54:16,729
It's going the wrong way!
780
00:54:22,610 --> 00:54:24,654
- Go! Go! - Move it! Move it!
781
00:54:45,675 --> 00:54:48,887
Tonight, we are gonna be in bimbette's heaven!
782
00:54:50,471 --> 00:54:52,056
Good work!
783
00:54:52,765 --> 00:54:54,309
All right, now, Rocky,
784
00:54:54,392 --> 00:54:56,352
get one flag and lose the other!
785
00:54:56,436 --> 00:54:57,770
Gotcha.
786
00:54:58,646 --> 00:55:00,189
Let's go, man.
787
00:55:00,398 --> 00:55:03,026
- One, two... - Yeah!
788
00:55:06,070 --> 00:55:07,405
Keep it up, guys-
789
00:55:07,488 --> 00:55:09,032
Keep it going.
790
00:55:09,407 --> 00:55:11,159
I know it's tough.
791
00:55:11,242 --> 00:55:12,827
And I know that you know it's tough.
792
00:55:13,453 --> 00:55:15,079
But try not to think about it.
793
00:55:15,538 --> 00:55:17,415
Think about those degrees we're gonna get
794
00:55:17,498 --> 00:55:19,417
when we win this race!
795
00:55:19,584 --> 00:55:21,461
Maybe that'll help you forget the pain.
796
00:55:25,381 --> 00:55:27,800
More likely it won't, but give it a shot.
797
00:55:30,094 --> 00:55:32,388
Your bag of goodies was a real bargain, Doctor.
798
00:55:32,472 --> 00:55:33,556
You bet your bottom dollar.
799
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:34,766
There's only four boats left.
800
00:55:34,849 --> 00:55:37,852
I think we earned that little soiree of yours tonight.
801
00:55:38,019 --> 00:55:39,771
St. Martings, Sara Teasdale, Texas State, and us.
802
00:55:40,146 --> 00:55:41,439
And Lepetomane.
803
00:55:41,522 --> 00:55:42,982
- Lepetomane? - What?
804
00:55:43,066 --> 00:55:45,443
We took care of those remedials after the first rapids!
805
00:55:45,526 --> 00:55:47,654
Well, whoever "we" is didn't do a very thorough job,
806
00:55:47,737 --> 00:55:48,947
'cause they're still on the river.
807
00:55:49,030 --> 00:55:50,156
- What? - I don't believe it.
808
00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:52,075
I thought we nailed those Twinkies!
809
00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:03,252
Control tower to Ivy, you're cleared for takeoff.
810
00:56:05,713 --> 00:56:07,173
I love it.
811
00:56:12,387 --> 00:56:14,013
I don't like the sound of this.
812
00:56:15,264 --> 00:56:18,142
It's too quiet.
813
00:56:19,978 --> 00:56:21,813
What could it be?
814
00:56:23,231 --> 00:56:24,357
Indians!
815
00:56:28,861 --> 00:56:30,405
What the hell is that?
816
00:56:31,072 --> 00:56:32,490
Sounds like big mosquitoes.
817
00:56:41,916 --> 00:56:43,334
It's coming at us!
818
00:56:43,418 --> 00:56:44,961
Get down!
819
00:56:49,382 --> 00:56:51,092
It's coming back!
820
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:54,303
Bob, get down!
821
00:56:55,763 --> 00:56:56,973
This is dangerous!
822
00:56:59,350 --> 00:57:01,060
How'd you like that, guys?
823
00:57:08,985 --> 00:57:11,070
This has gone far enough!
824
00:57:11,487 --> 00:57:14,907
He's right! It's gone far enough!
825
00:57:22,123 --> 00:57:24,250
Gonz! Get down!
826
00:57:31,674 --> 00:57:33,468
Abandon ship!
827
00:57:34,093 --> 00:57:35,928
- Get out! Get out! - Not again!
828
00:57:36,804 --> 00:57:38,306
Kamikaze!
829
00:57:45,855 --> 00:57:48,274
Let's see you get out of that one, you dipshit!
830
00:57:48,357 --> 00:57:49,442
Let's get out of here.
831
00:57:49,525 --> 00:57:50,777
Max!
832
00:57:52,361 --> 00:57:53,696
Hey, Max!
833
00:58:00,369 --> 00:58:02,038
I want the blond!
834
00:58:02,121 --> 00:58:03,748
- You putz! - Are those real breasts?
835
00:58:08,086 --> 00:58:09,754
I want leverage!
836
00:58:09,879 --> 00:58:14,342
Him, his doggie, one of his men, anyone!
837
00:58:14,926 --> 00:58:16,928
Reconnoiter 0600 sharp!
838
00:58:19,430 --> 00:58:21,682
Come back with a prisoner,
839
00:58:22,892 --> 00:58:24,685
or don't come back!
840
00:58:24,894 --> 00:58:26,062
Yes, sir!
841
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:28,940
Hey, it's Chuck!
842
00:58:29,023 --> 00:58:31,317
Wow, he's got the last flag!
843
00:58:35,863 --> 00:58:37,490
What is this? An attitude?
844
00:58:39,117 --> 00:58:40,618
I'm sorry if we were a little bit late,
845
00:58:40,701 --> 00:58:42,620
we had a few problems.
846
00:58:42,829 --> 00:58:45,248
We weren't out on the town like someone I could mention.
847
00:58:45,331 --> 00:58:47,959
- Chuck, he was mugged last night! - Let him be!
848
00:58:48,042 --> 00:58:49,752
If he wants to be a complete jerk, let him.
849
00:58:49,919 --> 00:58:51,712
I don't think we need to explain to him that somebody
850
00:58:51,796 --> 00:58:55,258
tried to destroy our raft, knock us out of the race.
851
00:58:55,341 --> 00:58:57,260
No, if he's gonna get his nose bent out of shape
852
00:58:57,343 --> 00:58:59,095
over a little lost time,
853
00:58:59,178 --> 00:59:01,597
I'd rather not talk to him, either. You're a dog.
854
00:59:02,598 --> 00:59:03,683
Grab the raft.
855
00:59:08,271 --> 00:59:10,481
I suppose it doesn't make any difference that they beat up Bob?
856
00:59:11,774 --> 00:59:15,069
That's right. Pipes, bottles, chains, hitting, pain...
857
00:59:15,153 --> 00:59:17,280
There were 10 of 'em. Ten big ones.
858
00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:19,031
Maybe eleven.
859
00:59:19,115 --> 00:59:21,909
Oh, and you should've heard the names they called him.
860
00:59:24,745 --> 00:59:26,372
Sensitive dog.
861
00:59:27,874 --> 00:59:32,170
Yes, okay, okay, I forgive you.
862
00:59:32,253 --> 00:59:34,422
I know you were playing hard to get.
863
00:59:35,339 --> 00:59:37,258
Chuck, what is it?
864
00:59:37,341 --> 00:59:38,467
I smell it, too.
865
00:59:38,551 --> 00:59:40,219
It smells like...
866
00:59:40,344 --> 00:59:41,637
Cologne.
867
00:59:45,266 --> 00:59:48,978
Suddenly he knew what the night held in store for them.
868
00:59:50,062 --> 00:59:52,190
And he liked the smell of it.
869
00:59:56,444 --> 00:59:57,945
Are you okay?
870
00:59:59,530 --> 01:00:01,324
You know something?
871
01:00:01,699 --> 01:00:05,119
I really thought that McGraw had a chance.
872
01:00:05,828 --> 01:00:06,913
I mean, however slim,
873
01:00:06,996 --> 01:00:08,915
I really thought that he might make it.
874
01:00:09,749 --> 01:00:11,459
I would have liked to have seen him again.
875
01:00:11,542 --> 01:00:13,252
"Seen," young lady?
876
01:00:13,336 --> 01:00:14,670
For starters.
877
01:00:14,754 --> 01:00:16,881
You mean to tell me you're not coming?
878
01:00:17,632 --> 01:00:18,674
No.
879
01:00:18,758 --> 01:00:20,509
Okey-dokey, honey. See ya later.
880
01:00:21,260 --> 01:00:23,221
- Happy trails. - Bye-bye, hon.
881
01:00:38,694 --> 01:00:40,529
Revenge is a dish best eaten cold
882
01:00:40,613 --> 01:00:42,448
and with your hands.
883
01:00:51,499 --> 01:00:53,960
It's a little early for Christmas, isn't it?
884
01:01:23,114 --> 01:01:24,407
Tomorrow should be a breeze.
885
01:01:24,490 --> 01:01:26,409
By the time you cross that finish line,
886
01:01:26,492 --> 01:01:29,745
I'm betting that yours is the only raft on the river.
887
01:01:52,143 --> 01:01:54,103
Let's have some more champagne!
888
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:07,533
Waiter!
889
01:02:23,758 --> 01:02:25,468
Wait a minute, I know that dog!
890
01:02:26,969 --> 01:02:28,637
I know that dog!
891
01:02:29,263 --> 01:02:30,973
Hey, what's going on?
892
01:02:31,724 --> 01:02:32,767
Wait a minute!
893
01:02:47,406 --> 01:02:48,783
Well, well, what is this?
894
01:02:48,866 --> 01:02:50,785
A meeting of the assholes of America?
895
01:02:50,951 --> 01:02:52,244
Look who's here.
896
01:02:52,328 --> 01:02:53,579
We missed you guys!
897
01:02:53,662 --> 01:02:55,247
We didn't miss you, you jerk.
898
01:02:55,331 --> 01:02:57,458
Hurry up, put that on! I haven't got all night!
899
01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:58,793
You asshole!
900
01:02:58,876 --> 01:03:00,503
Oh, excuse me.
901
01:03:19,188 --> 01:03:21,315
You wouldn't hit a lady, would you?
902
01:03:29,281 --> 01:03:30,324
Mocha.
903
01:03:37,623 --> 01:03:40,167
No,no,no,no! No. No.
904
01:03:42,211 --> 01:03:43,504
Get out, come on.
905
01:03:45,589 --> 01:03:47,299
Now I got you, you bastard.
906
01:03:49,343 --> 01:03:51,720
It's so much better this way.
907
01:03:54,723 --> 01:03:56,100
So much for the piano.
908
01:03:59,478 --> 01:04:01,147
Bob. The tub.
909
01:04:03,566 --> 01:04:04,692
Bye.
910
01:04:05,151 --> 01:04:06,694
Table for one.
911
01:04:21,417 --> 01:04:22,960
You incompetent twits!
912
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:26,839
Let's get outta here!
913
01:04:44,899 --> 01:04:46,775
There you are.
914
01:04:47,151 --> 01:04:50,821
Bob! Where have you been? What's going on around here?
915
01:04:50,905 --> 01:04:53,115
It's such a long story.
916
01:04:54,283 --> 01:04:56,994
Gosh, is there someplace that we can talk?
917
01:05:00,122 --> 01:05:04,001
Well, is there someplace that we can pet heavily?
918
01:05:14,595 --> 01:05:15,930
Terrific!
919
01:05:16,388 --> 01:05:17,473
Look at that!
920
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:21,685
Wait! What...
921
01:05:31,654 --> 01:05:33,239
Now, tell me,
922
01:05:34,406 --> 01:05:38,327
was it as good for you as it was for me that time?
923
01:05:40,079 --> 01:05:41,539
Not exactly.
924
01:05:42,248 --> 01:05:44,667
Bob! Irwings gone, we can't find him anywhere.
925
01:05:44,750 --> 01:05:46,627
I think something happened to him.
926
01:05:47,127 --> 01:05:48,712
Did I interrupt anything?
927
01:05:51,048 --> 01:05:52,341
Not exactly.
928
01:05:52,424 --> 01:05:54,218
Look, I'll meet you at the raft.
929
01:05:54,301 --> 01:05:55,803
Oh, Max, this is Heather. Heather, this Max.
930
01:05:55,886 --> 01:05:56,971
- Hi. - Hi.
931
01:05:58,389 --> 01:05:59,682
Pleasure to meet you.
932
01:06:00,558 --> 01:06:01,600
Do you need any help?
933
01:06:02,184 --> 01:06:04,770
No, thanks. I've been dressing myself for years.
934
01:06:04,853 --> 01:06:07,022
But I appreciate the offer.
935
01:06:11,235 --> 01:06:12,570
When this is over
936
01:06:12,653 --> 01:06:14,822
and somebody's won this damn thing,
937
01:06:14,905 --> 01:06:16,991
I'd like to think I could jump on you again sometime.
938
01:06:28,419 --> 01:06:30,713
Disqualify me, will they?
939
01:06:31,046 --> 01:06:35,092
Well, now I've got them right where I want them!
940
01:06:35,843 --> 01:06:38,762
You thought the disguise would fool me?
941
01:06:40,598 --> 01:06:43,058
They can't beat me. No!
942
01:06:43,642 --> 01:06:46,353
Because I'm the cream of the military crop,
943
01:06:46,437 --> 01:06:48,814
and I have a hostage.
944
01:06:49,607 --> 01:06:52,943
A living, human hostage!
945
01:06:53,819 --> 01:06:55,571
I can't find Irwin anywhere.
946
01:06:55,821 --> 01:06:57,072
Poor little guy.
947
01:06:57,156 --> 01:06:58,907
Hey, Gonz, don't you worry.
948
01:06:58,991 --> 01:07:01,285
We're gonna find lrwin if it takes a hundred years.
949
01:07:01,368 --> 01:07:03,454
Hey, Bob. He'll be dead by then.
950
01:07:04,288 --> 01:07:05,706
Good point.
951
01:07:06,749 --> 01:07:07,875
Wait a minute.
952
01:07:07,958 --> 01:07:10,127
Wait a minute! What about Chuck?
953
01:07:13,464 --> 01:07:14,506
Come on, Chuck.
954
01:07:14,590 --> 01:07:17,009
I know you're tired, but we need your help.
955
01:07:17,092 --> 01:07:19,762
We've got to find Irwin before it's too late!
956
01:07:19,845 --> 01:07:21,764
We'll take the water, you take the land. Whaddya say?
957
01:07:21,847 --> 01:07:22,931
Come on, Chuck, you remember Irwin.
958
01:07:23,015 --> 01:07:25,142
He's got glasses, he's skinny, he drinks a lot.
959
01:07:27,519 --> 01:07:29,855
Here, Chuck, here. Try this.
960
01:07:30,814 --> 01:07:32,691
You remember him now, don't you, Chuck?
961
01:07:34,652 --> 01:07:36,695
All right. All right, Chuck,
962
01:07:36,779 --> 01:07:39,031
there's a new collar in it for you, huh?
963
01:07:39,114 --> 01:07:41,241
Does that jar your memory?
964
01:07:42,242 --> 01:07:43,661
Okey, Okey.
965
01:07:44,203 --> 01:07:46,997
No more plain-wrap dog food. Does that ring any bells for you?
966
01:07:48,916 --> 01:07:52,336
I'll put you up for stud. But that's it, take it or leave it.
967
01:07:59,927 --> 01:08:01,095
Boy, what's the world coming to
968
01:08:01,178 --> 01:08:03,305
when you have to bribe your own dog?
969
01:08:03,389 --> 01:08:04,723
The dog's a whore, Bob.
970
01:08:04,807 --> 01:08:06,225
I trained him well.
971
01:08:08,894 --> 01:08:11,522
Nobody does that to Ivy!
972
01:08:11,605 --> 01:08:15,234
Guys, we got a race to win here, act like adults.
973
01:08:15,484 --> 01:08:17,611
I'm gonna get that weenie!
974
01:08:17,736 --> 01:08:19,613
We're gonna get that weenie!
975
01:08:19,697 --> 01:08:21,323
We're gonna win this race!
976
01:08:21,448 --> 01:08:24,118
Geez, Rex, too much caffeine making you tense?
977
01:08:24,952 --> 01:08:27,705
After last night, you wanna go again, huh?
978
01:08:27,788 --> 01:08:29,748
- That's right. - You must've liked it, huh?
979
01:08:29,832 --> 01:08:30,958
I'm ready and willing.
980
01:08:31,041 --> 01:08:33,419
- I'm always able. - All right! Nice!
981
01:08:33,502 --> 01:08:35,421
Left turn, men, we've got company!
982
01:08:35,504 --> 01:08:36,630
What?
983
01:08:40,676 --> 01:08:42,136
Check it out.
984
01:08:42,845 --> 01:08:44,596
- Hey. - The bleach boys.
985
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:46,932
Good afternoon, ladies!
986
01:08:47,224 --> 01:08:49,268
All right, guys, listen.
987
01:08:49,393 --> 01:08:50,853
We're gonna beat 'em, and we're gonna win,
988
01:08:50,936 --> 01:08:52,896
and let's go into a hard forward.
989
01:08:54,314 --> 01:08:56,525
The instrument, maestro, if you will.
990
01:08:56,734 --> 01:08:58,694
See ya, ladies!
991
01:08:59,945 --> 01:09:01,697
They'll like this, won't they?
992
01:09:01,780 --> 01:09:03,866
- What's that? - What the hell is that?
993
01:09:03,949 --> 01:09:05,367
All right, sweetheart.
994
01:09:08,912 --> 01:09:10,581
- It's a torpedo. - Oh, shit!
995
01:09:18,297 --> 01:09:19,965
Good shot, Rex, good shot!
996
01:09:20,716 --> 01:09:22,301
You jerks!
997
01:09:27,347 --> 01:09:28,390
Adios, ladies!
998
01:09:31,059 --> 01:09:34,313
We got those morons. So let's go get Lepetomane!
999
01:09:35,564 --> 01:09:37,483
Well done, soldiers, well done!
1000
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:43,280
From here, we take the island.
1001
01:09:43,363 --> 01:09:45,115
We beach the craft in the south,
1002
01:09:45,199 --> 01:09:47,242
then move to a high point above.
1003
01:09:47,326 --> 01:09:51,622
Then, we hang the bait, and wait!
1004
01:09:52,331 --> 01:09:53,957
Now move out!
1005
01:09:56,710 --> 01:09:59,129
Stroke! Stroke!
1006
01:10:00,005 --> 01:10:03,091
Stroke!
1007
01:10:06,470 --> 01:10:07,846
Johnson,
1008
01:10:08,180 --> 01:10:09,807
ready the jet.
1009
01:10:10,390 --> 01:10:11,809
Yes, sir.
1010
01:10:13,018 --> 01:10:16,563
Brown, ready the wireless control system.
1011
01:10:16,855 --> 01:10:17,898
Yes, sir.
1012
01:10:21,902 --> 01:10:23,987
It's those G.l. Joe guys!
1013
01:10:25,739 --> 01:10:26,949
- Where? - There.
1014
01:10:31,954 --> 01:10:33,497
Get back in your pouch!
1015
01:10:34,039 --> 01:10:36,708
They got lrwin! In a wet bag!
1016
01:10:38,627 --> 01:10:39,962
Come on!
1017
01:10:41,046 --> 01:10:42,840
It's toboggan time!
1018
01:10:43,006 --> 01:10:46,093
Wait a minute, Bob! Are you sure that's a good idea?
1019
01:10:46,176 --> 01:10:48,136
Nah, but at this point it's beside the point.
1020
01:10:48,220 --> 01:10:49,805
Oh, boy.
1021
01:10:50,222 --> 01:10:52,516
Forward easy.
1022
01:10:55,727 --> 01:10:57,062
Bob!No!
1023
01:10:59,523 --> 01:11:00,816
- Too fast! Too fast! - Shit!
1024
01:11:00,899 --> 01:11:05,070
No!
1025
01:11:08,615 --> 01:11:10,909
We're gonna get wet again!
1026
01:11:18,292 --> 01:11:19,877
Nice shot, Bob.
1027
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,587
Come on! Irwings getting away!
1028
01:11:24,339 --> 01:11:26,884
All right, so I miscalculated. What are you gonna do, fire me?
1029
01:11:27,092 --> 01:11:28,844
I'll think about it.
1030
01:11:29,970 --> 01:11:34,182
Stroke!
1031
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:35,767
- Stroke! - Sir!
1032
01:11:37,185 --> 01:11:38,979
The island's just up ahead, sir!
1033
01:11:39,563 --> 01:11:41,565
Good. Good.
1034
01:11:41,648 --> 01:11:43,901
I'm ready with the jet, sir.
1035
01:11:43,984 --> 01:11:47,070
Ready with the wireless control system, sir.
1036
01:11:49,907 --> 01:11:51,074
Now!
1037
01:12:05,339 --> 01:12:08,300
Victory! We are men!
1038
01:12:44,962 --> 01:12:46,630
All right, meatheads!
1039
01:12:46,713 --> 01:12:49,049
What are you sitting around for? This is no picnic!
1040
01:12:49,132 --> 01:12:50,676
Captain, we can't win.
1041
01:12:50,759 --> 01:12:52,594
We were disqualified yesterday.
1042
01:12:52,886 --> 01:12:55,389
Disqualified? We're not disqualified!
1043
01:12:55,472 --> 01:12:58,392
Not till I say we're disqualified!
1044
01:12:58,684 --> 01:13:01,603
It takes a river to win this war.
1045
01:13:03,021 --> 01:13:05,440
And there can't be a winner,
1046
01:13:05,524 --> 01:13:07,776
if there isn't a river!
1047
01:13:08,193 --> 01:13:09,319
Sir?
1048
01:13:10,278 --> 01:13:13,949
We're gonna blow the mother up!
1049
01:13:26,628 --> 01:13:28,255
All right!
1050
01:13:28,338 --> 01:13:29,631
Women!
1051
01:13:34,219 --> 01:13:35,637
What is she doing out there?
1052
01:13:36,179 --> 01:13:37,764
Getting tanned.
1053
01:13:38,473 --> 01:13:39,975
Forward easy.
1054
01:13:44,563 --> 01:13:46,314
- Are you all right? - I'm fine.
1055
01:13:47,774 --> 01:13:49,526
Let me guess what happened.
1056
01:13:50,402 --> 01:13:51,695
That good old Ivy U.
1057
01:13:51,778 --> 01:13:54,948
You didn't have to tell me, I woulda caught it.
1058
01:13:59,036 --> 01:14:01,246
Those guys almost killed us.
1059
01:14:01,580 --> 01:14:04,249
He's beginning to get a little nervy.
1060
01:14:04,332 --> 01:14:07,419
The thought of them winning this race really makes me sick.
1061
01:14:08,670 --> 01:14:10,422
It isn't over yet.
1062
01:14:10,839 --> 01:14:12,132
Well, what are we waiting for?
1063
01:14:13,675 --> 01:14:15,844
Just a few indecent thoughts.
1064
01:14:19,806 --> 01:14:21,725
Okay, I'm ready now.
1065
01:14:21,808 --> 01:14:24,853
First, we get Irwin. Then we get the trophy!
1066
01:14:24,936 --> 01:14:27,647
Hey, you guys! I'll see you later, okay?
1067
01:14:27,731 --> 01:14:29,900
Revenge! Revenge! Get 'em!
1068
01:14:32,027 --> 01:14:33,153
Forward easy!
1069
01:14:36,156 --> 01:14:39,659
Soon the river will go ka-boom!
1070
01:14:42,245 --> 01:14:45,248
A commander couldn't ask for better soldiers.
1071
01:14:57,552 --> 01:14:58,804
Well,
1072
01:14:59,429 --> 01:15:01,014
while we're waiting for your captain
1073
01:15:01,098 --> 01:15:02,974
to come to your rescue,
1074
01:15:03,058 --> 01:15:05,143
maybe I should warm up on you a little.
1075
01:15:05,227 --> 01:15:06,895
No? All right.
1076
01:15:08,647 --> 01:15:11,650
How about the old bamboo under the fingernails?
1077
01:15:12,484 --> 01:15:15,153
It's a personal favorite of mine,
1078
01:15:15,237 --> 01:15:17,489
and a nice way to loosen up, too,
1079
01:15:17,572 --> 01:15:19,533
you little schmo!
1080
01:15:24,579 --> 01:15:25,664
No!
1081
01:15:44,850 --> 01:15:48,103
Chuck, puppy! Am I glad to see you! Where the hell you been?
1082
01:15:48,270 --> 01:15:50,605
Chuck, we're in some kind of trouble, okay?
1083
01:15:50,689 --> 01:15:52,274
The guys are heading right in for a trap,
1084
01:15:52,357 --> 01:15:53,441
we gotta warn 'em, all right?
1085
01:15:53,525 --> 01:15:55,235
So get me outta here. Come on. Get me out.
1086
01:15:55,861 --> 01:15:57,696
What are you doing? No, Chuck!
1087
01:15:59,072 --> 01:16:01,366
No, don't do... Where are you going with those?
1088
01:16:01,449 --> 01:16:03,034
Don't leave me!
1089
01:16:03,368 --> 01:16:05,203
Chuck... What's that?
1090
01:16:05,453 --> 01:16:07,622
What are you doing? Don't put that on there!
1091
01:16:08,915 --> 01:16:10,458
Chuck! Where you going?
1092
01:16:11,251 --> 01:16:13,670
No! No, Chuck, no!
1093
01:16:14,045 --> 01:16:16,339
Chuck, no! Chuck... I can't... Not like...
1094
01:16:16,423 --> 01:16:18,175
This is not good, Chuck!
1095
01:16:18,258 --> 01:16:20,385
Oh, God, I'm so depressed!
1096
01:16:39,487 --> 01:16:40,780
Irwin...
1097
01:16:42,282 --> 01:16:43,742
Irwin...
1098
01:16:45,452 --> 01:16:46,912
Irwin...
1099
01:16:47,829 --> 01:16:49,164
Irwin.
1100
01:16:49,497 --> 01:16:50,874
Irwin!
1101
01:16:51,499 --> 01:16:52,876
Irwin!
1102
01:16:53,210 --> 01:16:56,546
Irwin! Irwin!
1103
01:16:56,630 --> 01:16:57,839
Irwin!
1104
01:16:58,089 --> 01:17:01,343
Irwin! lrwin! lrwin!
1105
01:17:01,426 --> 01:17:03,011
What the hell?
1106
01:17:03,345 --> 01:17:05,013
Let's wait here.
1107
01:17:05,305 --> 01:17:09,517
Irwin! Irwin! Irwin!
1108
01:17:13,355 --> 01:17:15,023
Hey, it's Chuck!
1109
01:17:15,106 --> 01:17:16,608
Hey! Chucker!
1110
01:17:22,072 --> 01:17:23,990
Bob, it looks like he's been drinking again.
1111
01:17:24,074 --> 01:17:25,492
No, not drinking.
1112
01:17:25,575 --> 01:17:28,119
Look! In his mouth! It's Irwings underwear.
1113
01:17:28,203 --> 01:17:29,746
No wonder he's acting like that.
1114
01:17:32,457 --> 01:17:34,209
That can only mean one thing!
1115
01:17:35,001 --> 01:17:36,544
Irwings naked.
1116
01:17:37,462 --> 01:17:38,505
Right!
1117
01:17:38,588 --> 01:17:40,590
And Chuck knows where he is!
1118
01:17:40,674 --> 01:17:42,008
Let's go)!
1119
01:17:43,385 --> 01:17:45,804
Left turn! Forward easy!
1120
01:17:46,137 --> 01:17:48,765
They're quitting! They've given up!
1121
01:17:49,933 --> 01:17:51,851
I knew they didn't have what it takes!
1122
01:17:53,603 --> 01:17:56,731
Hey! That's Lepetomane U for ya, you degenerates!
1123
01:17:56,856 --> 01:17:59,567
Good old Lobotomy U!
1124
01:18:00,193 --> 01:18:02,237
Let's move out of here.
1125
01:18:02,696 --> 01:18:05,949
Let's just kick back and coast, because the trophy is ours!
1126
01:18:07,325 --> 01:18:08,368
Scumbags!
1127
01:18:09,786 --> 01:18:11,204
Hey, Chuck!
1128
01:18:12,289 --> 01:18:15,917
It's good to see you, too, but first things first, huh?
1129
01:18:16,251 --> 01:18:18,837
Now, where is he? Where's Irwin, Chuck?
1130
01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:22,966
Oh, my God! They killed him!
1131
01:18:23,133 --> 01:18:26,177
No, they haven't killed him, but he's... He's...
1132
01:18:27,095 --> 01:18:28,763
He's lying on the ground somewhere!
1133
01:18:28,847 --> 01:18:29,973
Right, Chuck?
1134
01:18:30,056 --> 01:18:32,642
No, on the nose!
1135
01:18:32,726 --> 01:18:35,228
But where is Irwin now, Chuck? Where is he now?
1136
01:18:42,360 --> 01:18:44,362
He's trying to get into the wet bag.
1137
01:18:44,529 --> 01:18:47,991
- Wet bag, dirtbag, douchebag... - Bag lady?
1138
01:18:51,619 --> 01:18:53,371
He's got a bone...
1139
01:18:53,621 --> 01:18:55,040
Oh, my God!
1140
01:18:55,165 --> 01:18:56,791
They cut him into steaks!
1141
01:19:00,003 --> 01:19:02,547
They haven't cut him into steaks, they've, uh, uh...
1142
01:19:02,630 --> 01:19:05,508
They staked him to the ground!
1143
01:19:05,592 --> 01:19:08,345
Where is he, Chuck? Where is Irwin now?
1144
01:19:09,179 --> 01:19:10,680
Chuck, that's my jacket!
1145
01:19:10,764 --> 01:19:12,682
He's trying to tell us something!
1146
01:19:14,392 --> 01:19:16,311
They plucked him!
1147
01:19:21,149 --> 01:19:22,359
I'm trying.
1148
01:19:22,442 --> 01:19:25,403
They haven't plucked him, it's something to do with...
1149
01:19:25,487 --> 01:19:26,696
Feathers! Feathers!
1150
01:19:26,780 --> 01:19:29,199
No, those aren't feathers! That's down!
1151
01:19:29,699 --> 01:19:31,743
Down! Down! All right!
1152
01:19:31,951 --> 01:19:34,496
Down something. They've got Irwin down something.
1153
01:19:34,579 --> 01:19:36,748
Come on, Chuck, where? Give us another clue, quick!
1154
01:19:36,831 --> 01:19:37,874
Chuck, how many syllables?
1155
01:19:39,209 --> 01:19:41,252
- Two! - Two syllables!
1156
01:19:44,547 --> 01:19:47,425
God! They cut out his liver!
1157
01:19:50,261 --> 01:19:53,056
Down... Down... Down liver... Uh...
1158
01:19:53,807 --> 01:19:54,891
I've got it!
1159
01:19:54,974 --> 01:19:56,226
- What? - What?
1160
01:19:56,309 --> 01:19:58,978
"Down liver," that's Japanese for "downriver"!
1161
01:20:04,025 --> 01:20:05,276
All right, Chuck!
1162
01:20:07,278 --> 01:20:08,488
Those were great clues.
1163
01:20:08,571 --> 01:20:10,115
I thought they were kinda hard.
1164
01:20:17,038 --> 01:20:20,166
My sweet boom-boom maker.
1165
01:20:30,802 --> 01:20:32,554
Where's your doggie?
1166
01:20:32,637 --> 01:20:34,013
Look, I think there's been some mistake.
1167
01:20:34,097 --> 01:20:36,141
Where's your underwear?
1168
01:20:36,224 --> 01:20:38,184
I don't know. The dog ran off...
1169
01:20:38,268 --> 01:20:39,811
Don't wanna cooperate, huh?
1170
01:20:41,688 --> 01:20:43,273
That's okay.
1171
01:20:43,982 --> 01:20:46,151
Your time is up anyway.
1172
01:20:47,944 --> 01:20:49,654
Say VOW prayers,
1173
01:20:49,779 --> 01:20:53,241
you pinko commie slime!
1174
01:20:54,284 --> 01:20:55,493
Slime?
1175
01:20:56,286 --> 01:20:58,746
No shooting with the gun, please!
1176
01:20:58,830 --> 01:21:00,874
Oh, look, if we can talk about this...
1177
01:21:06,754 --> 01:21:08,840
Oh, hi, guys. Glad you could stop by.
1178
01:21:10,967 --> 01:21:12,677
Well, well, well.
1179
01:21:13,386 --> 01:21:15,680
You finally decided to show your face, eh?
1180
01:21:17,223 --> 01:21:19,058
Well, you walked right into my little trap,
1181
01:21:19,142 --> 01:21:21,144
and you'll never get out alive.
1182
01:21:29,444 --> 01:21:30,904
Be my guest.
1183
01:21:35,408 --> 01:21:36,951
Take my money! Anything you want! No, anything!
1184
01:21:37,035 --> 01:21:39,496
Go ahead, just ask me, I'll tell you anything! Anything!
1185
01:21:39,829 --> 01:21:41,498
I'd like to know what he did with my pants.
1186
01:21:46,794 --> 01:21:48,838
Good for you. Son of a bitch.
1187
01:21:50,215 --> 01:21:51,424
Irwin!
1188
01:21:51,925 --> 01:21:53,885
Just in time to turn me over.
1189
01:21:56,054 --> 01:21:58,723
What's he doing? He should be here by now!
1190
01:21:59,933 --> 01:22:01,142
Johnson,
1191
01:22:01,226 --> 01:22:02,685
go get Captain Braverman.
1192
01:22:02,769 --> 01:22:05,271
You go get him. I don't miss him.
1193
01:22:05,396 --> 01:22:07,524
Johnson, you see this? You know what this means?
1194
01:22:07,607 --> 01:22:11,361
Hey, you see this, sparky? You know what this means, huh?
1195
01:22:14,364 --> 01:22:15,949
What do you got there, Chuck?
1196
01:22:16,032 --> 01:22:17,492
What is that?
1197
01:22:17,575 --> 01:22:19,869
Oh, laughing gas.
1198
01:22:29,128 --> 01:22:30,964
Men? Men!
1199
01:22:33,967 --> 01:22:35,843
The enemy is upon us!
1200
01:22:37,136 --> 01:22:38,513
Charge!
1201
01:22:40,473 --> 01:22:41,641
Gosh, is he dead?
1202
01:22:41,724 --> 01:22:43,726
I sure as hell hope so.
1203
01:23:03,746 --> 01:23:05,123
That one, right there!
1204
01:23:05,206 --> 01:23:06,833
You get him, we'll take the others.
1205
01:23:18,177 --> 01:23:21,431
There's nothing like the peace and quiet of the wilderness.
1206
01:23:21,514 --> 01:23:22,599
Shall we go?
1207
01:23:22,682 --> 01:23:23,725
- I think we should. - Absolutely.
1208
01:23:26,394 --> 01:23:27,854
Hey, guys, where you been?
1209
01:23:28,187 --> 01:23:29,772
Taking care of a little unfinished business.
1210
01:23:29,856 --> 01:23:31,190
You know, returning a favor.
1211
01:23:31,274 --> 01:23:33,234
Irwin, you look good!
1212
01:23:33,318 --> 01:23:34,944
I feel good. Can't complain.
1213
01:23:35,653 --> 01:23:37,238
GUYS, guys...
1214
01:23:37,322 --> 01:23:38,740
Enough of this hearts and flowers stuff.
1215
01:23:38,823 --> 01:23:41,659
What do you say we win this race for us?
1216
01:23:45,204 --> 01:23:47,874
No, no. You dickhead.
1217
01:23:47,957 --> 01:23:51,377
You weren't supposed to get it engraved until after they cross the finish line.
1218
01:23:51,461 --> 01:23:52,545
Now hide it.
1219
01:23:57,842 --> 01:23:59,469
Five minutes, ladies and gentlemen.
1220
01:24:00,845 --> 01:24:03,806
Five minutes and counting. Any bets?
1221
01:24:08,936 --> 01:24:10,313
Keep it steady.
1222
01:24:10,396 --> 01:24:11,773
That's it.
1223
01:24:12,982 --> 01:24:16,152
You know, guys, I can see it all now.
1224
01:24:16,402 --> 01:24:17,779
All of us being carried around the square
1225
01:24:17,862 --> 01:24:19,822
on the shoulders of cheering hordes.
1226
01:24:19,906 --> 01:24:23,660
Co-eds beating down our doors, chaining themselves to our beds.
1227
01:24:24,952 --> 01:24:27,246
We're gonna get laid for six months off this one.
1228
01:24:27,538 --> 01:24:30,458
Are you kidding? We're gonna be inducted into the stud hall of fame.
1229
01:24:31,042 --> 01:24:33,002
I thought we already were. I know I am.
1230
01:24:33,127 --> 01:24:35,004
You're such an animal.
1231
01:24:35,088 --> 01:24:37,090
Come on! Forward, men, let's do it!
1232
01:24:37,632 --> 01:24:39,133
Move! Let's go.
1233
01:24:39,217 --> 01:24:40,927
Hard forward, that's it.
1234
01:24:41,010 --> 01:24:42,095
Keep it steady.
1235
01:25:09,455 --> 01:25:10,707
Powers.
1236
01:25:11,791 --> 01:25:14,627
Powers... The plunger.
1237
01:25:15,712 --> 01:25:19,507
Powers! That's an order, bean head!
1238
01:25:50,288 --> 01:25:51,873
Stroke! Stroke!
1239
01:25:51,956 --> 01:25:53,791
Come on, forward!
1240
01:25:54,250 --> 01:25:56,461
So long, jerks!
1241
01:26:12,101 --> 01:26:14,645
Go! Go!
1242
01:26:21,277 --> 01:26:23,863
Oh, God! You give great vibes.
1243
01:26:48,429 --> 01:26:49,514
Where's the river?
1244
01:26:55,770 --> 01:26:56,938
There's the river!
1245
01:26:58,606 --> 01:26:59,774
My God!
1246
01:26:59,857 --> 01:27:02,026
Back paddle! Back paddle!
1247
01:27:36,102 --> 01:27:37,353
We did it! Come on!
1248
01:27:37,854 --> 01:27:40,273
Another victory for the Mighty Crimson!
1249
01:27:54,203 --> 01:27:55,538
Let's get out of here!
1250
01:28:01,168 --> 01:28:03,796
Oh, I think maybe your toilet's overflowing.
1251
01:29:22,875 --> 01:29:24,293
Cocktails, anyone?
1252
01:29:35,596 --> 01:29:37,932
There's Ivy! There's Ivy!
1253
01:29:41,394 --> 01:29:42,520
There's the finish line!
1254
01:29:44,438 --> 01:29:47,984
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
1255
01:29:57,660 --> 01:29:59,078
Come on, you guys!
1256
01:29:59,912 --> 01:30:01,372
See ya, Ivy!
1257
01:30:02,415 --> 01:30:03,958
They can't do that!
1258
01:30:04,041 --> 01:30:05,918
- That's cheating! - They can't do that!
1259
01:30:10,172 --> 01:30:11,382
Yeah!
1260
01:30:23,185 --> 01:30:25,021
Team Lepetomane!
1261
01:30:25,396 --> 01:30:26,564
We did it!
1262
01:30:30,026 --> 01:30:31,902
Congratulations.
1263
01:31:00,598 --> 01:31:01,974
Tell me,
1264
01:31:02,558 --> 01:31:04,477
was it as good for you
1265
01:31:04,643 --> 01:31:06,979
as it was for me that time?
1266
01:31:07,730 --> 01:31:09,732
- No. - No?
1267
01:31:12,777 --> 01:31:14,320
It was better.
1268
01:31:30,669 --> 01:31:31,837
Bob...
1269
01:31:32,880 --> 01:31:35,049
How big could it really be?
1270
01:31:37,927 --> 01:31:39,887
Well, let's find out.
1271
01:31:55,903 --> 01:31:58,197
I'm up the creek
1272
01:31:59,615 --> 01:32:02,201
I'm up the creek
1273
01:32:14,588 --> 01:32:18,259
Just like the one that got away
1274
01:32:18,634 --> 01:32:21,137
So close, but yet so far
1275
01:32:22,054 --> 01:32:24,807
I threw my hook into the water
1276
01:32:24,890 --> 01:32:27,560
I nearly caught her
1277
01:32:27,643 --> 01:32:29,019
How bizarre
1278
01:32:29,103 --> 01:32:31,522
Now I'm up the creek
1279
01:32:31,605 --> 01:32:33,440
Though I have lost a little pride
1280
01:32:33,524 --> 01:32:35,276
I'm up the creek
1281
01:32:35,359 --> 01:32:37,820
I know that time is on my side
1282
01:32:37,903 --> 01:32:39,196
I'm up the creek
1283
01:32:39,280 --> 01:32:41,198
Though you have pulled the plug on me
1284
01:32:41,282 --> 01:32:42,741
I'm up the creek
1285
01:32:42,825 --> 01:32:44,660
There's more than one fish in the sea
1286
01:32:44,743 --> 01:32:46,537
I'm not about to let it be
1287
01:32:46,620 --> 01:32:48,664
I know that I am up the creek
1288
01:32:50,291 --> 01:32:51,917
Hey! Hey!
1289
01:32:56,046 --> 01:32:58,924
The foreign legion's always there
1290
01:32:59,633 --> 01:33:02,136
I need a holiday
1291
01:33:03,262 --> 01:33:05,931
Daydream in the desert
1292
01:33:06,015 --> 01:33:08,434
With no pressure
1293
01:33:08,517 --> 01:33:12,396
That's the way 'cause I'm up the creek
1294
01:33:12,479 --> 01:33:14,398
Though I have lost a little drive
1295
01:33:14,481 --> 01:33:16,233
I'm up the creek
1296
01:33:16,317 --> 01:33:18,068
I know that time is on my side
1297
01:33:18,152 --> 01:33:19,904
I'm up the creek
1298
01:33:19,987 --> 01:33:21,697
Though you have pulled the plug on me
1299
01:33:21,780 --> 01:33:23,699
I'm up the creek
1300
01:33:23,782 --> 01:33:25,576
There's more than one fish in the sea
1301
01:33:25,659 --> 01:33:27,453
I'm not about to let it be
1302
01:33:27,536 --> 01:33:29,914
I know that I'm up the creek
1303
01:33:32,583 --> 01:33:34,543
I'm up the creek
1304
01:33:34,627 --> 01:33:36,253
Without a paddle
1305
01:33:36,337 --> 01:33:38,088
I'm up the creek
1306
01:33:38,172 --> 01:33:41,091
But that don't matter at all
1307
01:33:42,509 --> 01:33:46,013
No matter at all
1308
01:33:47,306 --> 01:33:49,099
I'm up the creek
1309
01:33:49,183 --> 01:33:50,893
Without a paddle
1310
01:33:50,976 --> 01:33:52,895
I'm up the creek
1311
01:33:52,978 --> 01:33:56,023
I'm learning to paddle it all
1312
01:33:57,816 --> 01:34:01,862
Paddle it all
1313
01:34:04,782 --> 01:34:06,283
Hey! Hey!
1314
01:34:10,120 --> 01:34:14,792
I'm up the creek
1315
01:34:17,461 --> 01:34:22,049
I'm up the creek
1316
01:34:24,802 --> 01:34:29,431
I'm up the creek
1317
01:34:29,515 --> 01:34:32,393
Here I go! You want to go?
1318
01:34:32,476 --> 01:34:36,772
I'm up the creek
1319
01:34:36,855 --> 01:34:39,733
Help me! Help me! Help me!
1320
01:34:39,817 --> 01:34:44,446
I'm up the creek
1321
01:34:47,157 --> 01:34:51,787
I'm up the creek
1322
01:34:51,870 --> 01:34:55,457
Watch it! Wow!
1323
01:34:58,335 --> 01:35:02,214
The foreign legion's always there
1324
01:35:02,298 --> 01:35:04,842
I need a holiday
1325
01:35:06,010 --> 01:35:08,679
Daydream in the desert
1326
01:35:08,762 --> 01:35:11,307
With no pressure
1327
01:35:11,390 --> 01:35:15,352
That's the way 'cause I'm up the creek
1328
01:35:15,436 --> 01:35:17,479
Though I have lost a little drive
1329
01:35:17,563 --> 01:35:19,231
I'm up the creek
1330
01:35:19,315 --> 01:35:21,567
I know that time is on my side
1331
01:35:21,650 --> 01:35:22,860
I'm up the creek
1332
01:35:22,943 --> 01:35:24,778
Though you have pulled the plug on me
1333
01:35:24,862 --> 01:35:26,447
I'm up the creek
1334
01:35:26,530 --> 01:35:28,324
There's more than one fish in the sea
1335
01:35:28,407 --> 01:35:30,159
I'm not about to let it be
1336
01:35:30,242 --> 01:35:32,745
I know that I'm up the creek
1337
01:35:35,372 --> 01:35:37,207
I'm up the creek
1338
01:35:37,291 --> 01:35:38,959
Without a paddle
1339
01:35:39,043 --> 01:35:40,961
I'm up the creek...
91443
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