All language subtitles for The.Sex.Lives.of.College.Girls.S03E10.FINAL.MULTI.1080p.WEB.X264-HiggsBoson[EZTVx.to]

Bela, you seem so happy tonight.

It's 'cause of the guy
sitting across from us.

He's serving us muscles like
we're at a goddamn seafood buffet.

Actually it's because I'm
starting to do comedy again.

And I think I finally
found my voice?

Bela! That's amazing!

Yeah, I feel like I've spent
so long trying to sound like

all these men I saw
on late-night shows.

Turns out my best muse is a
sex-positive brown woman. Myself.

Go off, self-centered queen.

- You know it.
- I'm really glad

you're not letting the
Arvind breakup get you down.

No, not at all. I actually
have to move on. For my craft.

Hooking up is research. And
I will be doing a double PhD.

Well, speaking of hook-up stories,
Cooper and I went all the way.

- No, you didn't!
- Yes.

How was it?

It was amazing.

I hate to sex and tell, but
Cooper was the perfect gentleman,

and our thrusting was
completely in sync.

- No slip-outs or anything.
- That's impressive.

I'm pro slip-out. It provides
a natural intermission.

- Shit!
- What's wrong?

I just got an email
from the Athletic Board.

They want to meet with me
about quitting the team.

I wanna be done with this. I
don't want it to be a big thing.

I wouldn't worry about
it. You made a decision

for a really good reason and
if they can't respect that,

- then I would give them hell.
- I don't know.

Sometimes giving people hell is
the only way to get what you want.

For instance, hey, Muscles! Flex
for me or live to regret it.

He's a good boy.

Congressman Nathan Riggs is
coming to speak on campus.

It is completely unacceptable
that this school,

which claims to be for equality,

would give a platform to
someone so openly hateful.

I won't be holding
office hours today.

Not because I'm busy, but
because I'm not in the mood.

Professor Friedman, can I
just talk to you for a second?

What do you think about Essex
letting Nathan Riggs speak on campus?

- That guy's a turd.
- Right?

His hateful and regressive
policies go against everything

this place stands for.

Sure, but that's a
First Amendment issue.

Constitutionally speaking,
turds are protected.

A bunch of students
are gonna protest

and I'm going to join them.

Protesting is a waste of time.

Collective action only works if it lasts
for months and that almost never happens.

Oh, thanks for your
unsolicited opinion.

That was an insane take.

I actually agree with
him. Have you Googled me?

- No.
- Well, if you had,

you'd come across a photo

from a newspaper article
from a queer protest in 1994

where I was holding
a sign that said...

"Suck My Lesbian Dick."

I lied. I have Googled you many times.
I've seen that photo and I love it.

Is it okay that I said,
"Suck my lesbian dick"?

Once is better than twice, but anyway,
that photo is what lost me a clerkship

after law school.

What? That's so unfair.

The world is unfair.

Oh, sweet. Are
office hours back on?

Uh, no, not for you.

Anyway, protect future
Kimberly. We need her.

Hey, stranger.

Back from your fancy
off-campus housing so soon?

Yeah, I woke up this morning
and thought I simply must

see all those people
I work hard to avoid.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Sorry, I'm swamped.

I've been working on my own stuff and
now I have 53 student complaint forms

to deal with. Eight
are from Norman.

Well, excuse me for being a light sleeper
who doesn't like it when people ignore

our suite's chore wheel or
rename it the chode wheel.

- Chode.
- I laughed too, which was so wrong.

Can I find you later?

Yeah, yeah. It was
nothing anyway.

Okay, Norman, how can
I be most helpful?

I want the upper classman boy
next door to keep his music down.

That I can do.

Okay, that is kind of loud.

Excuse me, can you turn it down?

I'm a FAF, so if you don't turn it
down, I'm gonna have to let myself in.

Okay, I'm coming in!

Hello?

What the fuck?

Thank you for
coming in, Whitney.

We wanted to check in and ask
why one of our best athletes

decided to quit her team right
in the middle of playoffs.

Honestly? There was this
toxic hustle culture

that just kept requiring
more and more of me,

and eventually, it just
got to be too much,

so I decided not to be
a part of it anymore.

Good for you.

So what can we do to get
you back out on that field?

Score some goals!

Wait. Is that what
this is about?

I can't play. I have a knee
injury I'm trying to heal.

An injury where I was encouraged

to take a cortisone shot
to play through the pain.

Well, our records show that
you requested that shot.

Technically, yes.

But it didn't feel like
I had much of a choice.

Not according to
the team doctor.

I'm sorry.

Are you here to listen to me or just
tell me your version of my experience?

Whitney, we all want
the same thing here.

For you and your teammates
to win the first ever

Essex women's
soccer championship.

Okay, I'm sorry, but...

I'm no longer a student athlete at
this school, so we're done here.

But I really hope you listen better to
the next girl that sits in this chair.

Hello! Welcome to my
favorite party of the year.

Last year, there was a
streaker in the ball pit.

I saw a whole lot of butt and
a fair amount of side penis.

You would have loved it.

Right. Should we go to the bar? I
want to get Cooper his favorite drink.

A cold beer. Isn't he so manly?

That girl is falling
for him hard.

It's cute. I'm happy for her.

- How'd your meeting go?
- Ooh, bad. Yeah. But that's a good thing.

I made the right
decision by quitting.

Hell yes, you did! And your
snatched body deserves a hobby

with a much more flattering outfit,
like wrestling or speed-skating.

Do you speed-skate?

- No.
- You should start.

I'm excited to figure out what
to do with all my new free time.

Maybe I'll take up
hiking or volunteering.

Ew.

I'll probably look
at my phone more.

- Yeah, that's what you'll do.
- Of course.

Aw! You guys are such a cute
couple. You really inspire me.

There are a lot of fine
men in the ball pit.

I'm gonna go jump in and
see where my hands land.

All right.

No, he had a VR headset on. He
had no idea I was watching him.

It was like studying the ideal
version of the male human body.

His V lines were so deep.
Like a V in a bold font.

I think I might even
include him in my next show.

You should. And hey,
maybe ask him out.

I don't know. I mean, would I
hook up with him? Of course.

But in terms of dating and
people I would take seriously,

I think I'm starting to learn

I'd rather start by liking someone's
personality and feeling a connection,

as opposed to just a perfect face,
jaw, abs, pecs, quads, calves and butt.

For sure. You could hook up with
the hottest stranger in the world,

but it'd feel like an empty
experience once it's over.

But when you feel an actual
connection, that's next level.

Or so I've been told. Sadly, I'm just
a hot stranger people have sex with.

I love that we're at that
stage in the relationship

where we can be comfortable
in long, silent eye contact.

Yeah, I'm not really sure this
qualifies as silence, though.

The drunk guy behind me
keeps listing off words

that rhyme with taint.

Saint. Hate. Self-restraint.

So, my mom is coming
into town for the show

and I told her that
we could get lunch

after rehearsal so
she can meet you.

- Yeah, that could be fun.
- Yeah.

Just, Brandon and I, we
have plans to play squash.

If you're nervous about
meeting my mom, don't worry.

She's really fun, especially now that
she's stopped intermittent fasting.

I'm sure. I'd love to meet her.

Just the courts, they have this
really strict cancelation policy.

It's iron-clad.

Oh. Yeah. Got it.
Totally understand.

So, where were we?

Oh, right. Comfortable silence.

Yeah!

Are you okay? Oh, my God!

- Are you in line for the ball pit?
- Oh, absolutely not.

It's important to me to know that the
person I'm talking to is wearing pants.

I'm Noah, by the
way. Have we met?

Not yet. I'm Kimberly.

I recognize you from your post
protesting against Nathan Riggs.

We feel the same way about him.

Yeah, my opinion of him is
that he's a piece of shit.

Thanks for standing up against
misogyny and transphobia.

- Don't forget racism.
- Oh, I never forget racism.

So I'll see you tomorrow.

Spiritually, a hundred percent.

But physically, no, I will not be there
due to external and internal conflicts.

- That's too bad.
- But don't worry.

I'll be planting seeds of
resistance from within the system

that in a couple of generations
will bloom into codified change.

Sorry. I didn't get any
of that over the music.

The streaker is back!

Whoo!

It's a good day to be alive.
Look at all that side penis!

Yep. And that's my
sign to head out.

I'll see you tomorrow.
If you change your mind.

Think on it.

Okay. Bye.

I'm telling you, each frat
really does have its own smell.

This one is socks, skunked
beer, habanero buffalo sauce.

Wow! That's spot on.

I know. I can identify
any frat blindfolded.

I know you're joking, but please
never go into a frat blindfolded.

I'm sorry. I don't
know what I was doing.

No, it's all good. I've wanted
to do that multiple times.

That was my first
time kissing a girl.

Really? Well, this
is your second.

Good morning, friends.

I have an important announcement to make,
so thank you all for waking up so early.

It's 11:00 a.m.

Also, we've been awake. You're
the one who just got up.

Last night, I discovered
a new part of myself.

A part of myself I now
know has always been there

because I kissed a
very special someone.

And that someone was... a
woman. That's right. I'm bi.

Bela, that's amazing.

Congrats. This is so exciting.

I am so happy for you, Bela.

Thanks, guys.

So, should we go get some
breakfast? I'm starving.

- Yes.
- Same!

Sorry. Are we moving on?

I just told you guys, I'm coming
out as... [exhales] a bisexual.

Yeah. Way to go, girl.

We should really get going if
we want to get the good eggs.

- Yes.
- No, no, no, what the fuck?

Does my queer journey mean
nothing to you people?

When Leighton came out, you
guys cried for like a full day.

But that was different. Leighton
really went through so much.

I wish I'd been there for
that. She sounded so brave.

Whatever. I'll just find
someone else who gets it.

Trish, get in here.

- I have something important to tell you.
- What's up?

I'm bi.

Sorry. You're not my type.

Whatever. Let's just get
breakfast and eat some waffles.

Wait. Waffles? Does that mean
the waffle machine is fixed?

- Are you serious?
- Now, I am gonna cry.

Sorry I haven't read the love
letter you slipped under my door.

I couldn't find a knife
to cut the big wax seal.

Oh, don't worry.

But I have good news about lunch
today with my mom. You can make it.

No, I can't, though. I
have squash with Brandon.

I DM'd him and got
him to move it.

The squash courts are
here all the time,

but my mom's only
here for 48 hours.

She has to go back to Charleston
because she's suing the doctor

who redid her belly button.

Right. I just think it's a little
early for me to meet your family.

I mean, my whole family,
sure, but this is just my mom.

You won't meet the rest
of them till New Year's.

New Year's?

What's New Year's?

Okay. I didn't want
to tell you yet,

but we have an extra ticket
to our family cruise.

Originally, it was for my ex, but we were
able to transfer the ticket to your name.

Isn't that so great?

For chivalry reasons,
you would be rooming

with my Great Uncle Milton,
if he's still with us.

Kacey, I'm sorry,
but this is too much.

We've only been dating
for like two minutes.

I don't think we're
on the same page here.

I think maybe it's best
if we ended things.

Cooper, please don't do this right now. I
literally just lost my virginity to you.

Yeah, but that's
not really my fault.

I'm sorry. It's just
not feeling right.

I'll see you later.
I guess at rehearsal.

Sorry I blew you off so many
times this week. What's going on?

So...

The other night, I got upset
and I bought a handle of vodka.

Oh, my God. Taylor,
I'm so sorry.

No. It's okay. I
didn't drink it.

That's why I wanted
to talk to you.

So that I could thank you.

Thanks to you, I knew
how to handle it.

I came back and I talked openly with
Ash, and then I went to a meeting.

Where I watched a
newly-sober woman

smoke two cigarettes at once.

Things could have gotten bad. But
because of you, I'm a stronger person.

I'm so proud of you.

I actually have something
to tell you, too.

I kissed a girl. I'm bi.

Oh, my God... That's wonderful.

I can't say I'm
completely surprised.

You do wear more neckties
than Steve Harvey.

I really do.

I'm actually doing a big
coming out announcement

at a show tonight.

Since you're here, I could
actually use your help

cutting my performance down
from 35 minutes to four.

No, thank you to that,

but now I'm the one
who's proud of you.

Now tell me about
this girl you kissed.

- Kimberly!
- Eli! What are you doing here?

I'm here because this
guy's trash and he sucks.

I wish he was trash. That way,
we could just put him on a barge

in the middle of the ocean.

I'm actually glad that
we ran into each other.

I feel like I owe
you an apology.

For what? Leaving me alone to
die the first time I did drugs?

That's exactly what
I'm apologizing for.

But I also understand
why you broke up with me.

You were right. We were
really different people.

For what it's worth,
I just dated a guy

who I thought was exactly like me
and things turned out way worse.

Shit.

- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm good.

Well, would you ever
wanna catch up? Hang out?

Yeah, that sounds nice.

Cool.

I'll see you around.

Yeah.

- Kimberly.
- Hey!

You decided to come.

I did. And I brought this.

Cool sign. "No more
racism, bigotry, or miso"?

I wanted to write "misogyny"
but I ran out of room.

We've got plenty of extra signs,

that have complete
words on them.

- If you want to borrow one.
- Yeah, I would love that.

All right.

Okay.

This is cue 18. Hit it.

- Hell, yeah.
- How does that look for you, Lars?

- Really good.
- Really?

Real good. I was considering
a softer pink gel,

but in the end, a coral glow around
her really felt more fitting for...

We have 40 more cues
and I stopped listening.

Moving on to the
next scene, please.

Kacey, Cooper, take your marks.

And let's see the
blocking, please.

Kacey, in this scene,
your character's

singing a love song to
Cooper, not to the wall.

Please look at him.

Professor Dorfmann, can I please
speak with you privately for a moment?

What is going on?

I can't do this right now.

Can Blair stand in for me?

- What? Why?
- Because I can't look at Cooper.

We just broke up.

I promise that I'm gonna be good.
I'm just struggling right now.

Kacey, this is exactly why I didn't want
to give you the role in the first place.

You think that you have the
emotional strength to be a performer,

but you just don't.

You project a pretty girl
confidence, but, honey, it's hollow.

Hmm? It's fake.

I'm sorry. This? This
simply isn't for you.

Blair? You're
taking Kacey's role.

Shit.

I'm just cleaning out my locker.
I thought you were at practice.

You know what you did
was really fucked up.

You could've waited a couple
weeks for the season to be over.

You just ghost us in the middle of
the playoffs without saying why?

It was really selfish.

Great feedback, Rina.
Well, that's everything.

Good luck tonight, guys.

Thanks, but we don't need luck.

We have players who
care about the team.

No, that's enough of that.

- Willow, don't.
- Sorry, but I gotta.

This Woody from Toy Story lookalike
is not talking to you like that.

Whitney cares more about
this team than anybody.

She played on a fucked up knee
when they pressured her to,

shooting her up with all these
pain meds just to get through it.

And when the anxiety from all
that gave her a panic attack,

she couldn't have one damn
day off when she asked for it?

She deserves better.

I'm sorry I didn't tell
you guys. I wanted to.

I just... I couldn't
take on more stress.

Okay, great. Does anyone
else have anything

that they'd like to
get off their chest?

Actually, yeah.

I'm gonna be a fifth year senior
because soccer has made it impossible

for me to graduate in four.

I'm 23. I'm too old to be here.

It's not just soccer.

Our track and field coach
had me take shots, too.

She said, and I quote,
"Days off are for pussies."

Hey, guys. Can we please go back to
focusing on winning the championship?

Actually, I kinda want to hear
what everyone else has to say.

Damn. Even Rina feels bad? And
she don't even like you, Whit.

Sign five!

Come on. It's like a high
five, but with our signs.

Sign five! Up high.
Sign five. Yeah!

Yeah!

Wait. Why are the cops here?

Everybody, this protest is over.
Please disperse immediately.

Campus police, really?
Isn't this a little extreme?

We're standing on a
lawn, not robbing a bank.

If you don't leave now, you
will face disciplinary action.

You have no right to
disperse a peaceful protest.

We have the right to freedom of
expression and peaceful dissent.

We're a private university.
It doesn't work like that.

Students who do not
leave immediately

will face consequences,
including potential expulsion.

What? The First Amendment
protects free speech.

Not on private property.

So what, the protest is just
over? They win by threatening us?

No, this isn't over.

If Essex wants to make their
own rules, then so can we.

Let's get out of here
and meet back up tonight.

What time?

And the next thing I knew, the
entire soccer team straight up quit.

Turns out everyone was
just as miserable as I was.

- Whitney, that's amazing.
- It's not just the soccer team.

I've been getting DMs from other
athletes who are pissed off.

Anyone from the men's diving
team or women's gymnastics?

They are the hottest so I
do support them the most.

Should we get dinner and celebrate
you sticking it to the school?

Sure. Let me call Kacey,
and see if she wants in.

Okay.

Wait. She's here?

Kacey, what's wrong?

- Cooper dumped me.
- What?

- He did?
- I'm sorry.

Wait. What happened? I thought
things were going well.

They were, but, um...

I think I convinced myself

that if I didn't sleep with
him, then I might lose him.

And then it happened
anyway. So...

Aw, Kacey...

I think that it meant more
to me than it did to him.

And I really thought that I was ready,
but... I don't think that I was.

Kacey, I'm so sorry.

And now my mom just keeps calling
because she flew in to meet Cooper

and I have no idea
what to tell her.

Wait. She's not here
to see your show?

She doesn't care about
that kind of stuff.

I hate seeing you like this. You're
the most confident person I know.

I'm not, though.

I feel like I'm never good enough in
the way that people want me to be.

And it's easy to be one of those
girls who says "love yourself,"

but what if you just don't?

Who do you need me
to slap? Your mom?

Cooper? You don't
have to choose.

I can do both.

No, I just have to live the
rest of my life knowing that

my first time was with someone
who immediately broke up with me.

Kacey, I get it.

It sucks that you lost your virginity
to someone who doesn't deserve it.

But you know what?

- Everyone's first time is bad.
- Yeah.

It's true. Do I regret
losing my virginity? No!

Do I regret losing it to
a sweaty exchange student

who worked at my dad's
Subway shop for a summer?

Kinda.

Yeah, I lost mine at soccer
camp to this guy named Rudy.

He tried to stick it in my belly button
and when he finished he yelled "Goal!"

Yeah, you think
I'm proud of that?

My boyfriend dumped me
too after our first time.

And I thought my life was over.

But it turns out he's the least
hot guy I've ever had sex with.

So maybe losing your virginity is
supposed to be a stupid, weird mess.

So you actually
did it perfectly.

I love you guys.

Now please welcome our next storyteller
to the stage, Bela Malhotra!

Hey, guys. I'm Bela Malhotra.

Some of you might remember me
from my last show where I ranked

thirty cartoon characters in order of
how well-endowed I think they might be.

But I want to be a little
bit more candid tonight.

You see, I recently discovered
something about myself

and I wanted to
put it out there.

I realized...

I realized...

I'm really good

at doing an impression of Siri.

Here are some fun facts
about the rainforest.

I actually don't know any
facts about the rainforest.

So, yeah, that's what I
wanted to share with you all.

Let's see. What else?

So, what's the plan?

Oh, I have a stink bomb.

I'm gonna run in
there, throw it at him,

and say "your policies
stink and now so do..."

Oh! That is disgusting.

It's leaking all
over my backpack.

Look, the only way to win is to keep him
from spreading more dangerous hate speech.

They're live streaming the whole event.
We have to find a way to stop it.

I have an idea.

Seduce him and leak
the tape? I'll do it.

These machines control all
of Essex's Internet service.

Without them, they're not
live streaming anything.

- How did you know about this?
- A little fact about me.

If I don't know something
yet, I yearn to learn.

Sick.

- All right. Let's fucking go.
- Mmm-hmm.

Mom! What are you doing here? How
did you even know I was doing a show?

You posted about it.

I always follow your Instagram.
Not just those big square photos,

but also the little movies that
play when I push the circle.

I knew I had to be here. Where's
Arvind? Doing homework I hope.

Yeah. He couldn't make it.

Too bad.

Are those free snacks?

Excuse me, honey. I raced
here straight from work

and I haven't had
a chance to eat.

Eat!

Hey, thanks again
for inviting us.

It was so much longer than
I thought it would be.

- Thank you.
- Did I miss something?

I didn't hear you talk
about being queer.

I was going to, but
then my mom surprised me

and I couldn't go
through with it.

Can I tell you
something? As a friend?

It looks like you and your
mum really love each other.

Yeah, she's great.

You're lucky. My mum and
I, we don't speak at all.

Last year, I went home for
Christmas and found out she'd moved.

It was like the movie Home Alone,
but a very sad British version.

I have a lot of follow-up
questions. That I'll ask later.

Bela, just talk to her.

I wish I could talk to mine.

All right. I think we've pulled
or cut every wire in this room.

My God. Guys, it
worked. My Wi-Fi's off.

Essex internet servers?
You just got served.

Do not move!

Aw, fuck!

Thank you for coming
back in, Whitney.

Would you care to explain

why everyone on the women's
soccer team has suddenly quit?

Honestly, I'd love to.

Turns out I'm not the only one
with concerns about the way

this institution treats
its student athletes.

I'll be candid. We're not thrilled that
your vendetta might cost the school

a historic accomplishment.

Respectfully, I don't
have a vendetta.

I think what's happening here is that
you all want to ask me questions,

but you don't wanna
hear my answers.

Look, what I can tell you
is there's only one way

the soccer team takes
the field tonight

and that's if you all agree
to make some major changes.

- Such as?
- Training hours should be limited.

We need checks and
balances in place

to prevent coaches from
abusing their power.

And an athletics board that
acknowledges mental health issues

are just as real
as physical ones.

Well, that's a lot for us to consider.
We'll have to discuss and get back to you.

Oh, no, those are
just my concerns.

I brought some other people
who have their own demands.

Come on. Who wants
to talk first?

- Oh, okay. Willow's already sitting down.
- Buckle up.

Number one,

we don't want all-in-one body
wash and shampoo in the showers.

We want body wash and shampoo.

And so I know that this
role means a lot to you too,

but I really need
to do this tonight.

Kacey, the role is yours.

Really? Thank you!

Oh, my God, no. I'm just so relieved
I don't have to do this tonight.

Kacey, I'm bad. Like,
I'm very, very bad.

I recorded myself singing
earlier. I sound like shit.

Well, thank you.

No, Kacey, thank
you. Oh, my God.

My life is over.

Now that I have a criminal record, no
top law school will ever accept me.

- That's not true.
- It actually is.

I've worked my whole life for this
one thing and now it's just gone.

Oh, my God, I can't
believe I did this.

I don't regret any of it.
We did something tonight.

We stopped someone from saying
things that cause actual harm.

That's a tangible win. Honestly
we should be celebrating.

The school's gonna sue us
for destruction of property.

We don't have to
celebrate that part.

Look, all I'm trying to say
is, maybe this is a sign

that you can make more real progress from
outside the system than from within it.

So, your life
definitely isn't over.

Maybe it just changed.

The guy in the corner
keeps looking at me.

I can protect you. I'm not tall,
but I'm surprisingly strong.

I'm trying to hold my breath

Let it stay this way

Can't let this moment end

You set off a dream in me

Getting louder now

Can you hear it echoing?

Take my hand

Will you share this with me?

'Cause, darling, without you

All the shine of a
thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal
from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are
still too little

These hands could hold the world

But it'll never be enough

Never be enough

For me

Never, never

Never, never

- Yes, bitch.
- Shh!

Never, for me

Excuse you. That's my
tiny friend up there.

Never enough

Never enough

For me

All the shine of a
thousand spotlights

Yes!

All the stars we steal
from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are
still too little

These hands could hold the world

But it'll never be enough

Never be enough

For me

Never, never

Never, never

Never, for me

Hi, Mum.

For me

Never enough

Never, never

Never enough

Never, never

Never enough

For me

For me

For me

For me