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1
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,146
(TYPING)
2
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,510
I've been writing a blog
about how much yöu suck.
3
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,271
What's it called?
4
00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,263
"Why yöu Suck dot net."
5
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,390
- It's a clear title.
- Are yöu gonna read it?
6
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:06,590
- Nope.
- Our friends think it's hilarious.
7
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,625
If yöu don't read it, I won't just email
it with a password to people we know.
8
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,624
- I'll make it public.
- Go nuts, Jules.
9
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,063
Stuff it up yöur blog.
10
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,466
LEO: Love dies. All of it.
11
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,581
Which is why yöu should
never give yöur cats names
12
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,550
like Snow and Balls.
13
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,663
Because when she leaves...
14
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,063
yöu'll get Balls.
15
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,591
(CAT MEOWING)
16
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,383
JULIE:
No one was more surprised than me.
17
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,581
Believe me.
18
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,061
WOMAN: "Why yöu Suck" has
become the template for people
19
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,429
asking themselves, is their
partner wrong for them?
20
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,429
Tell me about the
moment yöu realized
21
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,582
that yöur husband was that for yöu.
22
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,147
Well, I sold real estate,
23
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,463
so that he could
write, and I hated it.
24
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,146
But, yöu know, I believed in him.
25
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:23,146
And every day I would climb
to the top of this mountain
26
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,029
to watch the sunset.
27
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,706
And then, one day, when
I was standing up there
28
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,340
I realized that I had
never done it with him.
29
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,343
He was afraid of heights.
30
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,670
And it was my favorite thing,
31
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,387
and we'd never once shared it.
32
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,742
Hmm. Heartbreaking.
33
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,302
- Clarity.
- What does Leo think of all of this?
34
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,151
- Oh, he's still never read it.
- Do yöu really believe that?
35
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,388
- Believe it.
- JULIE: Yes!
36
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:53,022
He has this amazing ability
to just ignore criticism...
37
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,985
which, yöu know, I
admired at first.
38
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,660
And then I came to see
it as his worst trait.
39
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,109
What does make him angry?
He was the writer.
40
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,341
I have news, Jules,
41
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,662
writing a blog does not
make yöu a writer.
42
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,387
- Speaking of, yöu have some news.
- Yes, I do.
43
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,861
Uh, next month Random House
44
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,500
is releasing "Why yöu
Suck," the book.
45
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,907
- Congratulations.
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
46
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,146
That's amazing.
47
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,541
- I know. It's incredible.
- Did yöu ever expect?
48
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,226
No. Never in my wildest dreams.
49
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,464
Dad wanted us to come over.
We're supposed to say,
50
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,543
because "We think yöu're
cool, like an uncle."
51
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,385
(SIGHING)
52
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,703
But we won't lie to yöu, and
tell yöu, "Don't watch Julie
53
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,386
on TV and want to
kill yöurself again."
54
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,542
I never wanted to kill myself.
55
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,107
(HORSE HOOVES CLOPPING)
56
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,302
Hey, there's a wedding!
57
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:52,986
GIRL: Wow! They look rich.
58
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,271
We could make fun of their
need to display that.
59
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,824
LEO: Ravi and Pia are gifted,
60
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,988
which sounds cool, but really,
61
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,586
yöu don't want kids
to be too clever.
62
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,861
- RAVI: A grown man in pajamas?
- PIA: I know! It's embarrassing.
63
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,860
- Hey, I could teach yöu to throw.
- Like yöu know!
64
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,744
(BOTH GIGGLING)
65
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,951
RAVI: yöu throw like a g...
(SCREAMING)
66
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,187
No, mine!
67
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,462
- PIA: Gimme, gimme!
- RAVI: Get off!
68
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,110
- He said I throw like a girl!
- Well, yöu are a girl.
69
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,183
Here's how yöu throw a football!
70
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:29,943
(GRUNTING)
71
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,230
(ALL GASPING)
72
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,946
LEO: For Ravi, that
punt fixed in his mind
73
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,666
an ideal of the woman he
wanted to marry one day.
74
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,391
Pia, a firm believer
in role models,
75
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,429
saw the woman she wanted to become.
76
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,230
And me, I just knew...
77
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,431
All right! yöu guys
gotta go home now.
78
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,468
Leo's other worst trait
was unrealistic dreams.
79
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,390
Things that would just...
80
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,264
take hold of him all of a sudden.
81
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:29,429
Absurd things. Impossible things.
82
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,151
Things that everyone...
83
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,829
MAN: Colette, Danny...
84
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,350
yöu have given and pledged
yöur promises to each other
85
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,743
and have declared yöur everlasting
love by exchanging the rings.
86
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,471
- Who yöu rooting for? Bride or groom?
- Groom.
87
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,867
I volunteer at his camp for kids.
88
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,279
I also managed his fan mail
when he skied at the Olympics.
89
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,189
Hmm.
90
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,628
MAN:
I now pronounce yöu man and wife.
91
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,942
- Shove over.
- yöu may kiss the bride.
92
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,919
- (AUDIENCE MURMURING)
- (ORGAN PLAYING)
93
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,704
(APPLAUSE)
94
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:11,024
- It's like a fairy tale!
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
95
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,982
What the hell is she thinking?!
96
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,909
WOMAN: I thought she was
knocked up when she told me
97
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,181
they were getting married.
98
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,866
It's just so fast! Four months?
99
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,346
It's a rebellion.
100
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,064
Other kids dream of
bucking the stranglehold
101
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,421
of middle class convention.
But Colette?
102
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,310
Ah, some little part of
her always wanted in.
103
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,267
Oh.
104
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,230
She got in, all right.
105
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:44,662
(CLINKING)
106
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,703
As his boss, I can
tell yöu that Danny
107
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,943
is a terrific attorney.
108
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,667
But as his dad, as his father,
109
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,465
I can tell yöu how proud I am
of Camp Awesome Times...
110
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:56,627
ALL: Aw...
111
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,105
the camp he founded for
underprivileged kids...
112
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,224
Get to the part where he meets the girl!
That's what they came for.
113
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:02,711
(ALL LAUGHING)
114
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,748
(ALL REACTING)
115
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:25,790
Ha. No, thanks.
Don't smoke. Get paranoid.
116
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,991
Lovely, isn't she?
117
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,791
What makes yöu think
that this, and this...
118
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,790
isn't what she really wants?
119
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:35,586
The roses.
120
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,471
She hates roses. Hates
flowers, period.
121
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,906
Except sunflowers.
122
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,667
If I'd seen sunflowers when I came
here, maybe I'd believe this.
123
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,268
- So why's she doing it?
- Issues with her mother.
124
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,590
Her dad was this
handsome war journalist.
125
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,147
Also her mom's professor.
Also a complete shit.
126
00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,144
- (LEO CHUCKLING)
- When Colette was 10,
127
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,064
her mom stole the money he was
hiding from the government
128
00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,461
and took her to live
in a hotel in London.
129
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,231
They biked in Hyde Park,
went to the theater...
130
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,350
Not that she remembers those times.
131
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,221
What does she remember?
132
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,583
Sneaking out of the hotel in the middle
of the night when the cash ran out.
133
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,821
Ah, she'll never forgive me.
134
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:20,188
(GLASS CLINKING)
135
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,424
For those of yöu who don't know
me, my name is Troy Cooper.
136
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,264
This is Troy Garnet.
137
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,267
MAN: Troy!
138
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,862
We've been best friends with
Danny since junior nationals.
139
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,864
Danny and I made the Olympic
team, Garnet didn't.
140
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,502
But, yöu know, while we got
to ski all over the world,
141
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,908
yöu got to hang out in yöur
parents' basement and smoke hash.
142
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:39,947
(ALL LAUGHING)
143
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,869
Um, what I wanted to get to,
144
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,183
what I wanted to say
to yöu, Colette..
145
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:49,342
yöu are so lucky to be
with a man like Danny.
146
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,342
Danny, I love yöu.
147
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,021
Hi.
148
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,581
yöur mom thinks yöu
rushed into this.
149
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,788
- Ugh!
- Mothers.
150
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,511
- They're so often right.
- Not mine.
151
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,229
I'm sorry, who are yöu?
152
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,503
- Leo Palamino.
- Hi, Leo.
153
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,388
Do yöu want to get
a coffee sometime?
154
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,305
Or a drink?
155
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,827
Dance? Charcuterie plate?
156
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,308
Everyone's big into
those these days.
157
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,463
This is my wedding.
158
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,704
We all have baggage.
159
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,426
Sorry.
160
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:15,262
I got cornered by some guys I
haven't seen since Dartmouth.
161
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:16,782
Hey!
162
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,665
- Glad yöu could make it.
- Hmm.
163
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,300
Obviously the guest list
is a little lopsided.
164
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,623
- I blame this lone wolf.
- He's not yöur friend?
165
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,945
Never seen him before in my life.
166
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,340
Not true.
167
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,947
Last year yöu chased me up 17th.
I lost yöu in the alley.
168
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,629
yöu're the guy. yöu keyed my car!
169
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,989
- yöur Hummer. Yes.
- yöu had a Hummer?
170
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:40,991
Just for a few months.
171
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,381
yöu have to be kind of a
dick to drive a Hummer.
172
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,386
And yöu should not be with a dick.
173
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,351
yöu should be with me.
174
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,189
(DANNY LAUGHING)
175
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,302
This is a joke, right?
176
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,027
No.
177
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,225
(GRUNTING)
178
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,146
- God!
- Holy shit, that hurt!
179
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,864
DANNY:
That guy just hit on my wife!
180
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,709
Garnet, Cooper, stop him!
181
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,990
MAN: Get that guy!
182
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:11,711
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
183
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,628
(LEO GROANING)
184
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,467
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
185
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,071
Ah! The Troys.
186
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,986
I think I'm gonna kick him.
Really wail on him, if that's cool.
187
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:30,031
Dude, I'm a lawyer. I don't
think we should kick him.
188
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,871
Danny, come on! We have the
moral high ground here.
189
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,182
I feel like yöu guys just
need to make a decision.
190
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,191
Wait, people have pointed
this guy out to me.
191
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,066
Wasn't yöur wife the real estate
chick who wrote the blog?
192
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,625
(SIGHING) Ex.
193
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:48,263
- Didn't she get a book deal, too?
- Bro, that's gotta hurt.
194
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,999
Nothing like he's gonna hurt when
I pulverize him. Piece of shit!
195
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,148
Cooper, stop!
196
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,183
He's been kicked enough.
197
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,303
Just get off our property.
198
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,660
(LEO LAUGHS)
199
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,149
I know yöu miss Snow.
200
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,421
But yöu gotta get
yöurself together.
201
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,746
And Balls?
202
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,749
For the first time,
203
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,430
I know it's possible.
204
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:43,388
(BALLS MEOWING)
205
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,543
(SOFTLY GROWLING)
206
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,664
Huh.
207
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,182
(WHISTLING)
208
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,589
(WHISPERING LOUDLY)
That guy's wife wrote the blog.
209
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,789
I know. Can yöu believe he
kept doing this dead end job?
210
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,509
LEO: Julie's blog meant
there were no shortage
211
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,624
of strongly felt opinions
about my choices.
212
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,105
Usually, I tell them off.
213
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:41,269
At least for their lame
attempt at hushed tones.
214
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,702
But... not today.
215
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,511
'Morning, kitchen.
216
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,431
'Morning, Leo.
217
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,191
Is this some weird calm
before the storm...
218
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,944
before yöu really freak out?
219
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,547
- Julie's book deal.
- No. Not gonna freak out.
220
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:20,946
yöu wanna know why?
221
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,546
I met someone.
222
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,146
Ah.
223
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,061
That's fantastic! Where?
224
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,791
- A wedding.
- Whose?
225
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,430
Hers.
226
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,666
Don't yöu have a school
to be ridiculed at?
227
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,307
Granted, there are
obstacles. But...
228
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,151
it's time for a new theme.
229
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,262
I saw him again today.
230
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,585
My bear.
231
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,826
The product of a
rare recessive gene.
232
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,944
Two thousand miles from
their only habitat.
233
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:09,030
Beautiful things
that seem impossible
234
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,148
happen every day.
235
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,226
Heads up!
236
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,545
Good to have yöu back, man!
237
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:27,187
LEO: Julie never understood
why I don't hate my job.
238
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:31,186
Dish washing gives results
that are immediate.
239
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,743
Lacking in longer term pursuits,
240
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,590
like writing a novel,
241
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,710
or pursuing a woman.
242
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:39,941
(GLASS DINGS)
243
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,463
Oh, my God!
244
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,825
Oh.
245
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,620
Oh, sweetheart, thank yöu.
246
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,790
I know I said it didn't matter,
247
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,425
and it mattered so
much to yöur mom,
248
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,510
but I did kind of hate the roses.
249
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,871
- These aren't from me.
- What?
250
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,341
"I hate it when we are apart.
251
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,150
Leo Palamino."
252
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,551
Is he out of his fucking mind!?
253
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,381
MAN: yöu are...
254
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,787
out of yöur fucking mind!
255
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,506
I love that she doesn't like roses.
256
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,864
They're the attorneys of the
flower world, don't yöu think?
257
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:42,902
Hey.
258
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,507
Neil's irritable because I won't let
him see my paintings for my new show.
259
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,879
No, babe, I'm irritable because
my best friend's an idiot,
260
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,823
and I just put
sunglasses on a marmot.
261
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:52,867
WOMAN: Oh.
262
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,423
LEO: Neil's Big Horn
Books published my book.
263
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,151
The, uh, colossal
failure of which meant
264
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,069
he had to make money fast.
265
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,511
And so was born the
Big Horn Honker,
266
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:08,460
a mix of local news, and
heartwarming wildlife trivia.
267
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,307
But mostly a way for local bars
to advertise drink specials.
268
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,582
- Show him, Neil.
- No, Jill. Don't encourage it.
269
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,101
yöu think he's not gonna find her?
270
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,267
Okay.
271
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:19,999
(SIGHS)
272
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,990
Here yöu go. She runs
that weird tour company.
273
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,346
LEO:
I've heard these are actually cool.
274
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,344
Oh! Well, it actually doesn't matter,
'cause she's actually married.
275
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,631
Married married. So, yöu know,
it hasn't worn off yet.
276
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,789
Leo, punch that man in the throat.
I think he ate my husband.
277
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,305
- Dude.
- Oh!
278
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,584
Thanks to a congenital defect,
she has three of those.
279
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,388
LEO: Jill and Neil are obsessed
with taking disgusting,
280
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,384
way too intimate pictures of
each other with their phones.
281
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,225
Hey, man, lock up.
I have to violate my wife.
282
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,630
- Where are yöu gonna go? In here?
- Hmm? No.
283
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,021
LEO: To be their friend is
to be party to a lot of
284
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,399
alarming foreplay for
sex yöu'll never have.
285
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,502
- (JILL SQUEALING)
- (NEIL BLOWING)
286
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,268
They make me believe in love.
287
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,267
yöur wife wrote that blog, right?
288
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,105
LEO: There were benefits
to my notoriety.
289
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,467
yöu're a major pop
culture reference.
290
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,986
My friends back home
won't believe I met yöu.
291
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,981
A notoriety aided by
dollar a shot Wednesdays.
292
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,309
(WOMAN SHOUTING)
293
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:32,145
Of which I am king.
294
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,620
(GIGGLING) My...
295
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,386
My friend won't believe I met yöu.
296
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,861
Mm..hmm. yöur friend back home?
297
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,668
No. My friend over there.
298
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,942
(WOMAN GROANING)
299
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,629
yöu're aces at that, mate.
300
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,828
Okay. Gotta pee.
301
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,506
I get wicked bladder infections.
302
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,824
LEO: Yes, there are worse ways
303
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,506
to mourn the loss
of a relationship.
304
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,062
But sex with strangers,
305
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:08,507
even leggy, weirdly vocal ones
306
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,384
with a blase attitude,
307
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,788
is an alienating excuse for love.
308
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,863
Especially when yöu know
it's possible again.
309
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:43,666
Where are we?
310
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,909
I told Mom and Dad we'd pick
up their wedding gift today.
311
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,308
(DOG BARKING)
312
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:49,865
Hey!
313
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,500
I missed yöu guys! Yeah, come here.
314
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,781
Oh, mwah.
315
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,026
Good to see yöu.
316
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,864
Why are the dogs here?
317
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,182
Who lives here?
318
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,306
Us.
319
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:06,990
yöur parents bought us a house.
320
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,869
They had a designer furnish it.
321
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,943
Of course, anything yöu
don't like will go.
322
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,022
It's not that. It's all beautiful.
323
00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:18,588
- We just can't take it.
- Why?
324
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,505
Well, I didn't...
325
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,665
We didn't earn it.
326
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,063
Oh, my God. I forgot.
327
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:29,741
We live in a black and white world
328
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:31,703
where things are very simple.
329
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,301
Shut up. I'm serious.
330
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,145
I am too.
331
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,919
And in this simple world,
if we didn't earn something
332
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:44,070
by the sweat of our brow,
we just... we can't possibly enjoy it.
333
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,145
Though we both know the world
is not simple like that.
334
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:51,991
yöu know,
335
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,505
it was a mistake.
336
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,510
We can give it all back.
337
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,307
- yöu brought these here?
- Yeah.
338
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:09,623
I figured if yöur mom sends
yöu them, they're important.
339
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,347
Even if yöu are mad
at her right now.
340
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,700
yöu're amazing. yöu know that?
341
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,669
Leo Palamino!
342
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,503
- Yes.
- Last time I saw yöu, yöu were downtown.
343
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,631
- Ah, yeah.
- Between my legs.
344
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,663
- Yeah.
- Shucking my oyster.
345
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,671
yöu know, I like to keep the disturbing
euphemisms to the heat of the moment.
346
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,824
Kinda old fashioned that way.
347
00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:08,666
(LAUGHING)
Yeah. Got it, mate.
348
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,710
But if there was a licensing
board for muff diving...
349
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,822
Could I get a ticket?
350
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,185
(BELL RINGING)
351
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,907
Good afternoon everyone.
352
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,784
WOMAN: Hi.
353
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,389
And welcome to the tour.
354
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,190
Let's get started!
355
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,622
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
356
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:42,749
Word is, to get zoning
approval for this abomination,
357
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,227
the company slipped 600 grand
358
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,111
to Councilman Ryan Debrugan
last Christmas Eve.
359
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:50,861
Oh!
360
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,471
- Who is that?
- Councilman Debrugan.
361
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,545
Nice.
362
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,188
- (WATER BUBBLING)
- COLETTE: Hear it?
363
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,870
That river has been flowing
364
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,744
over a million years.
365
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,870
It's my favorite natural wonder
here, even if yöu have to
366
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,428
lie in a parking lot to hear it.
367
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,427
Just imagine...
368
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,309
a river...
369
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,104
in total darkness.
370
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:25,864
(WATER FLOWING)
371
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,230
Now, before I tell yöu
about the bodies found
372
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,944
under the floor when
the hermit died,
373
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,507
- any questions?
- (ALL GASPING)
374
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,750
I'm kidding!
He was just a normal hermit.
375
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,824
Built model trains,
talked to the animals.
376
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,029
He died holding a picture of a
girl he loved in his yöuth.
377
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:48,187
WOMAN: Aw...
378
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,502
Uh, but seriously, any questions?
379
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,300
He's got a question.
380
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:02,906
That's weird. I didn't notice him.
381
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,226
LEO: What gave yöu the
idea for the tours?
382
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:12,186
I... I moved a lot growing up.
383
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,824
The first thing we'd do in a new
place was go to a local bar
384
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,664
and get the lowdown.
385
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,342
yöu don't learn about a
place from the brochures.
386
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,343
Life is messy.
387
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,582
And that's its beauty.
388
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:28,590
(SCOFFING)
389
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,510
He doesn't deserve yöu.
390
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,661
yöu know nothing about
Danny. Or me.
391
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,504
I know guys like him, yöu know?
392
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,662
So, he's lucky,
393
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,822
so comfy in his own skin.
394
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,942
And he has really good taste.
395
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,707
I mean, who wouldn't with all
that fancy, worldly experience?
396
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,710
I mean, this guy, he doesn't
just want a hot wife,
397
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,181
he wants a hot, interesting wife.
398
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,342
So this is what he does..
399
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,231
he ditches his Hummer
to impress yöu.
400
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,627
yöu are incredibly judgmental.
401
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,439
Ah, sometimes yöu just
know about a person.
402
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:04,462
yöu don't know this..
403
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,839
that punt that made yöu notice
me because yöu're so sexist
404
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,669
yöu think it's wild
a girl can do that,
405
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,910
Danny, the love of my
life, taught me that.
406
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,551
Touché.
407
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,026
(SIGHING)
408
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:17,301
Shall we?
409
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,947
yöu know, it is kind of sexist, yöu
thinking her kicking a football is cool.
410
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,108
- It is cool.
- JILL: Whoo..hoo!
411
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,540
My wife flies.
412
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,507
- That's cool.
- Eh.
413
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,506
Also she made my ball
sack a Twitter account.
414
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:45,679
(JILL SHOUTING)
415
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,863
- Ah, I hate when she dips like that.
- Leo, yöu're afraid of heights,
416
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,784
not of other people being up high.
417
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,428
Hey, did I tell yöu? Colette's
husband is a friend of Garnet's
418
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,463
whose gallery is showing
Jill's paintings.
419
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,265
- The ones she won't show yöu?
- Yeah. And I don't get it, yöu know?
420
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,759
She always shows me her work first,
421
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,740
- (PHONE DINGING)
- Not that Garnet's a bad guy,
422
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:05,942
if yöu're into rich guys with
chiseled good looks who work out.
423
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,028
"Hi, I'm Neil's ball sack."
424
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,546
Oh!
425
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,385
That's just wrong, man.
426
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,144
I don't want yöur
balls on my phone.
427
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,279
If they say wise or
hilarious things yöu do.
428
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,381
(PHONE DINGING)
429
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,747
"It's dark in here and
Neil's jeans stink."
430
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,262
(CHORTLING)
431
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:24,706
COLETTE: He's harmless.
432
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:25,981
Just annoying.
433
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,627
I've dealt with my share
of nuts on the tour.
434
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,101
I just told Kingsley not to
sell him any more tickets.
435
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,349
Good. I had Cooper look into him.
436
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,824
He's a failed writer.
437
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,785
He rents a house from a
company I do legal for.
438
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,740
To retaliate would be like,
um, punching a puppy.
439
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,989
(BOTH LAUGHING)
440
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,270
yöu, Danny Hart, have a
good one. yöu know that?
441
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,945
yöu ever think of doing
anything other than the tour?
442
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,351
- What?
- Like yöu said, yöu... yöu know,
443
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,106
yöu're exposed, to anyone.
444
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,468
yöu know, now that we're settled
yöu can do anything yöu want,
445
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,025
yöu could even go back to school.
446
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,828
But I love what I do.
I hated school.
447
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,479
I just want yöu to know yöu
have options, that's all.
448
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,584
Well, so do yöu. yöu don't
have to be a lawyer.
449
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,306
Point taken.
450
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,145
Why'd yöu hate school?
451
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:25,871
Schools.
452
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,905
I'd always just get settled,
and then we'd move.
453
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,143
My entire childhood was
like being on the...
454
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,423
outside of an inside joke.
455
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,024
Well, if yöu would have
come to my school,
456
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,751
I would have invited yöu
to the cool kids' table.
457
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,181
What?
458
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,269
I love that yöu brought these here.
459
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,591
But I've been drinking from
these stupid mismatched cups
460
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,159
my entire life.
461
00:30:56,160 --> 00:31:01,266
And yöu have no idea the
thrill these give me.
462
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,151
(CAR DOOR SLAMMING)
463
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:20,586
(PHONE RINGING)
464
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:37,348
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
465
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,383
She's moving from an
Airstream in the woods!
466
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:40,906
One more reason she's
467
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,142
way too interesting
to be with that...
468
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,308
Lawyer Olympian camp
for kids founder?
469
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:47,981
What are yöu doing?
470
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,307
Pretending to deliver the
Honker while I spy on my wife.
471
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,279
Look at him. Giving her thoughts
on her work, sharing a laugh.
472
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,986
I give her feedback.
Feedback is our thing.
473
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,905
- I'm sure she has her reasons.
- Oh, yeah, I'm sure she does.
474
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,991
Look at me. I wanted to publish
books. Niche work with integrity.
475
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,747
Instead, I publish something more
people urinate on than read.
476
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,265
- Aw, shit!
- (HORN HONKING)
477
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:09,387
They saw us. Great!
478
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,345
Move yöur bike. Look, try
not to act like the dick
479
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:13,462
who crashed his best
friend's wedding.
480
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,901
- Hi! Hey, babe!
- Hey, hon.
481
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:20,748
- Hey, here are yöur Honkers, man.
- Hi. Okay. Okay. Leo.
482
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:21,787
Jill.
483
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,102
yöu look different. Not
on yöur back, whimpering.
484
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,786
Oh, half of the Troys,
can we start over?
485
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,665
That is a gorgeous scarf.
486
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:33,507
I've been looking everywhere
for a white silk scarf.
487
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,345
- Leo, shut up.
- Great work.
488
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:37,911
- We'll talk soon.
- Great.
489
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,305
- Thanks for that, Leo, yöu child.
- Child? Really?
490
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,424
Uh, recent Tweets from
yöur husband's balls.
491
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,341
"I itch.
492
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,221
Neil won't stop touching me.
493
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,266
Anyone have a good
recipe for salmon?
494
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,867
I..."
495
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,107
What's that?
496
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,426
My new theme.
497
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,429
It's what I'm in with Colette.
498
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,864
The key? Seemingly
chance encounters
499
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:16,024
where she sees how right
we are for each other.
500
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,660
When I met Poojah,
she was betrothed
501
00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:21,061
to a bricklayer's son
cum Internet millionaire.
502
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,548
- So what did yöu do?
- Challenged him to a duel.
503
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,747
Jesus. yöu dueled him?
504
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,268
No. I just love how yöu believe
any crazy shit I say about India.
505
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,104
No, what yöu need to do
506
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,991
is show her something yöu can do.
507
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:40,310
Something great, that,
uh, no one else can.
508
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,909
- What would that be?
- Heads up.
509
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,582
We've got some new
ideas for the tour.
510
00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:56,222
Uh, that woman wrote in again
about her racy doll collection
511
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,424
and another guy sent in
a picture of his penis,
512
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:03,062
- with times it'll be available for viewing.
- That was nice of him.
513
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,866
But this one's
actually interesting.
514
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,749
LEO'S BOSS:
"To whom it may concern,
515
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,029
I am writing to inform yöu of a
unique and wonderful colleague
516
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:20,111
of mine who would make a great
attraction on yöur tour."
517
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:24,390
(BALLS GRUMBLING)
518
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,466
For sure. It's the Mary Jane.
519
00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:32,024
(KNOCKING)
520
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:35,984
(SIGHING)
521
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:39,941
I'm coming. I'm coming!
522
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:45,107
- Know where I can get some schlook?
- Maybe a white haired lady?
523
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,467
LEO:
"The Slang That Kills." Look it.
524
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,429
The pot is for my cat's arthritis.
525
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:57,551
yöu're still a part of an underground
economy where bad ass mofos...
526
00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:01,267
- It's slang for dealers.
- Threaten, even kill.
527
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,382
Mandeep, yöur kids were
at my house this morning
528
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,865
harassing me about drugs.
529
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,789
- Is that weird?
- No, no.
530
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:16,541
They're doing a unit on drugs
in school. They're very into it.
531
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,545
How ya doin', Jess?
532
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,305
- Living the dream, man.
- MANDEEP: Leo!
533
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,468
- Living the dream.
- She's here.
534
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,181
(CLANKING)
535
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,662
The view from here is good. Look.
536
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,707
Today's theme is 'orbit.'
537
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,119
(CUPS CLANKING)
538
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:48,904
(SIGHING)
539
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,062
- What the hell?
- Coming through.
540
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,621
Watch out, watch out. This way,
this way, right this way.
541
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:01,589
Colette! What are yöu doing here?
542
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,623
Oh, I don't know...
543
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,710
I got this anonymous
tip about a dishwasher
544
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:09,391
"with amazing motor
skills and themes."
545
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,703
Themes? It's not standard
in a dishwasher.
546
00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:13,901
Unheard of.
547
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,107
Aren't yöu curious?
548
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,149
Purely from a business
point of view.
549
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,670
A demonstration.
550
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,106
If two objects... or people,
551
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:27,745
have a similar mass...
552
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,510
uh, metaphorically speaking,
553
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,789
humor, originality,
true of heartness,
554
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:34,908
put them in orbit...
555
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,301
- and...
- (MACHINE WHIRRING)
556
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:41,666
they'll spin,
557
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,988
collide, fall...
558
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,143
together.
559
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,310
Useless to resist.
560
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,791
He screams tourist
attraction to me.
561
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,225
(GRUNTING)
562
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,431
I got this.
563
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,067
yöu were charmed.
564
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,186
For a second.
565
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:15,580
I saw it.
566
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:18,222
Is there anywhere yöu
won't make a scene?
567
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,105
If it's important, who cares
what a bunch of strangers think?
568
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:22,864
This stems from what?
569
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,149
A snap judgment based
on physical attraction
570
00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:27,599
to a married woman yöu don't know?
571
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,190
But then I researched yöu.
572
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,543
I followed yöu, I spied on
yöu, I came to yöur work...
573
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,261
And that snap judgment
totally stands!
574
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,587
(PATRONS MURMURING)
575
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,901
(LAUGHTER)
576
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:49,981
COOPER: Wait! Wait, wait, wait!
577
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,706
There's a section about how
he played bass guitar,
578
00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:55,790
uh, but refused to
actually learn how.
579
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,345
And we...
580
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,150
can listen to a clip.
581
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,827
(BASS GUITAR PLAYING)
582
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,230
Wow!
583
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:08,384
- Oh my God! That would drive me insane.
- Yeah.
584
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:12,665
Wait. "Horny In Inappropriate
Places." That looks funny.
585
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,988
"Places that make
my husband horny...
586
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,707
- My nephew's baptism."
- Of course.
587
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,343
"The dealership where we
refinanced our Toyota.
588
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,425
- My aunt's funeral."
- Ew. Sick.
589
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,101
- Yeah, that's totally sick.
- That's seriously messed up.
590
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:30,942
Keep going.
591
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,866
"His childish refusal to keep his
mouth shut and not make a scene."
592
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,226
Wow. Knopf wanted
to publish his book.
593
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:39,586
Really?
594
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,799
"And not only did my husband
refuse to make the changes
595
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,425
to his book the largest publisher
596
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:46,350
in America wanted after
a generous advance,
597
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,430
he flew to New York, gave the
president of the division
598
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,106
the finger and stormed out.
599
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,588
He published the book locally.
Refused to make a single change.
600
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,866
And it died."
601
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,430
Well, I feel for the guy. Not
everyone can be Hemingway.
602
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,781
He wasted his life
refusing to accept that.
603
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:07,905
I'll get more wine.
604
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,065
Showing Colette the blog backfired.
605
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:18,509
- What do yöu mean?
- It did. Trust me.
606
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,589
- (THUDDING)
- (MAN GRUNTING)
607
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,464
That's twice now, yöu little shit!
608
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:29,831
Sorry, Mr. Scott!
609
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,984
- Totally an accident!
- yöu owe me 50 bucks, bro.
610
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,789
yöu're a fine role model, Coop.
611
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,430
And golf club manager.
612
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:40,744
My management style's unorthodox.
613
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,150
What's my dad gonna do?
614
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,984
Fire yöu again?
615
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,310
Anyhow,
616
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:49,626
as I've been saying all along,
617
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:53,301
what Leo Palamino needs
is a shit kicking.
618
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,229
(BALL THUDDING)
619
00:40:58,240 --> 00:40:59,466
No, Coop.
620
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,311
I will not concede the moral
high ground to this asshole.
621
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,304
We are adults and adults
do not shit kick.
622
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,908
That's exactly it.
623
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:20,866
LEO: There it was.
624
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:24,302
In the very window where
I'd fantasized, for years,
625
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,950
about having my book.
626
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,791
One final symbolic
kick in the nuts.
627
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,348
Not that I let it bother me.
628
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,110
(SHOUTING)
629
00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:49,868
That hurt, yöu little peckers!
630
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,863
yöu just got popped, old man.
631
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,944
And to teach yöu a lesson not
to chase another man's wife,
632
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,903
we're gonna stomp yöu, too.
633
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,422
(CHUCKLING) Okay.
634
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,265
Okay. 'Cause I don't fight kids.
635
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:03,870
Especially nice kids.
636
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,599
Who are gonna grow up
to do amazing things.
637
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,509
Is that sarcasm?
638
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,187
Yeah.
639
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,428
The way yöu're blindly
following this dip shit,
640
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,271
I see remedial classes
and meth mouth.
641
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,544
(GROANING)
642
00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:25,629
(TRAIN HORN)
643
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,106
(GASPING)
644
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,745
Snow...
645
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,391
Hey...
646
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,142
What are yöu doing?
647
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,462
What are yöu doing here?
648
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,788
I miss yöu so much.
649
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,423
That is my cat! Get yöur
vagrant hands off her!
650
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:00,581
Hey!
651
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:06,230
I raised that cat.
That's my and Julie's cat!
652
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:08,223
My God, it is yöu.
653
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,266
yöu look rough.
654
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,065
Julie gave Snow to me
655
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,262
before she moved to Malibu.
656
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,866
(SLIDING DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING)
657
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,622
(GROANING)
658
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,679
NEIL: All right, this has to stop!
659
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:30,104
'Cause yöu just got... yöu just got
whooped by an army of children.
660
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,422
yöu are so wrong.
661
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,311
When I fought for
Poojah, it got messy,
662
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,149
but it was all worth it.
663
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:38,671
Even...
664
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,504
after she died.
665
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,269
Hey, don't look like that!
666
00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,663
It makes me happy
to talk about her.
667
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:48,310
She's still with me.
668
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,350
In Ravi and Pia.
669
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,346
Having her
670
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,861
was worth losing her.
671
00:43:57,720 --> 00:43:59,629
Sometimes yöu just know.
672
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:01,951
I love yöu, Mandeep!
673
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:04,703
(CHEERING)
674
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:09,671
I can't believe Julie
broke yöur guitar.
675
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:13,239
She didn't. It got stolen.
676
00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:14,580
- Nah!
- No.
677
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,270
It's on the blog. She broke it,
678
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,428
then put it in a dumpster
behind Jamba Juice.
679
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,389
- Yeah.
- Ah!
680
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:21,826
I loved that guitar!
681
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,425
(CHEERING)
682
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,382
She's a horrible woman.
683
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:29,905
But I love yöu guys.
684
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:30,902
Oh.
685
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,302
- What?
- What? What's up?
686
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,911
- Tell him!
- No!
687
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,990
Okay! All right, okay.
There's a section on the blog
688
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,839
where Julie talks about all the dumb
stuff yöu did when yöu were drunk.
689
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,221
Like on yöur honeymoon in Paris,
when yöu pooped yöurself.
690
00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:46,705
I had heat stroke!
691
00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:49,664
But it was mostly just how yöu get
emotional all the time and say I love yöu.
692
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:50,867
Usually to Neil and I.
693
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,711
So someone started a drinking game.
694
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,399
- How's it work?
- It's very simple. They go into a pub.
695
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,548
If yöu're in the pub, yöu're
drinking, and yöu say,
696
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,469
"I love yöu," then they drink.
697
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:08,347
- Leo, no. Come on.
- No, no, no, no, no!
698
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,150
No, no, no, no, no! No.
699
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,346
yöu're assholes! yöu know that?
700
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,066
But I love yöu.
701
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:30,950
(GRUMBLING)
702
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:33,879
(SIGHING)
703
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:36,142
(ITEMS FALLING)
704
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,784
(PHONE RINGING)
705
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,622
ANSWERING MACHINE:
It's Julie. Leave a message.
706
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,111
(BEEPING)
707
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,828
I saw Snow.
708
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:16,186
I let yöu take her in case
yöu got lonely out there.
709
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,744
yöu know, I mistakenly
thought yöu had some...
710
00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:23,264
God! Tiny bit of heart left.
711
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,943
And they were a couple!
712
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:27,621
And yöu,
713
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,545
yöu punished them for our mistakes.
714
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:33,906
And yöu, uh...
715
00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:39,308
yöu're just a nasty person.
716
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,301
(CRASHING)
717
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:03,102
Sean Cooper's telling everyone
he and his friends beat up Leo.
718
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,625
Maybe someone needs to convince
them he's a badass mofo.
719
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,469
(BELL RINGING)
720
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,585
Do yöu smell curry?
721
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,981
yöu beat up Leo Palamino.
722
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,861
- yöu should know who he is.
- Yeah?
723
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,830
- Who is he?
- Our dealer.
724
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:30,503
yöu name it. Baby Bhang.
Lumber. Bambalacha.
725
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,825
We blow a stick of moocah
with him all the time.
726
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:35,823
He has a greenhouse in his house
727
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,022
where he grows it.
728
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:41,190
yöu don't mess with someone
whose been booting the gong.
729
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:42,910
They can overreact.
730
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,751
- He didn't react at all last night.
- Spring the giggle,
731
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:49,740
- yöur reflexes get slow.
- But he'll hit yöu back. Trust me.
732
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,706
I'm gonna blow the roof off a Colorado
cocktail before social studies.
733
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:57,669
Spark it up, but don't Bogart it.
734
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,585
What was that?
735
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,141
Kingsley!
736
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,144
I told yöu not to sell him
any more tickets, Kingsley!
737
00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:24,547
yöu're my front line of
defense against this idiot!
738
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,510
I know. But he got beat up.
739
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:33,386
Also, I slept with him last year.
740
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:34,871
Sol might be a sort of
741
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,381
compromised front line of defense.
742
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:39,540
Great at oral.
743
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,227
- Didn't ask.
- But yöu wanted to.
744
00:48:42,240 --> 00:48:46,390
And I'm not talking about a little booty
kiss to say "I'm a giver, let's ball."
745
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:54,629
Thanks for calling me, Cooper.
746
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,229
I thought yöu'd want to see him.
747
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:08,710
yöu look rough, pal.
748
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,263
I've never seen anything like it.
749
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,468
- Is he a polar bear?
- No. A ghost bear.
750
00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:25,107
A black bear with a
rare recessive gene.
751
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:27,302
They survived only because
the Kitasoo Indians
752
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,861
in the Great Bear rainforest,
the only place in the world
753
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:32,267
they live, think they're magic.
754
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:35,945
So they protect them.
755
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:39,542
He's a long way from home.
756
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:45,102
That bear... is proof
of the impossible.
757
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,303
- A moment?
- That's right.
758
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,189
Couched in wildlife trivia
759
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:57,264
and a rare animal sighting.
760
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,462
yöu know, I've pitied
him long enough.
761
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,391
Finally. Let's have some fun!
762
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,389
What does he have we can take?
763
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:07,719
Therein lies the problem.
764
00:50:07,720 --> 00:50:08,919
Didn't yöu say yöu represent
765
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:10,909
the management company
who owns his house?
766
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:14,706
Yeah, but to evict, yöu gotta give him
60 days unless he's broken the lease.
767
00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:15,867
Hey!
768
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:18,182
- Hey, Sean.
- Hey, what's up, bro?
769
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:21,231
yöu didn't tell me he's
a drug dealer, dick!
770
00:50:22,240 --> 00:50:24,661
- What?
- These dorks at school told me.
771
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:27,309
He even has a greenhouse.
772
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,146
yöu don't say.
773
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:32,746
(KNOCKING)
774
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:38,309
Officer. Prettier of the Troys.
775
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:39,945
Fuck yöu, dishwasher.
776
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:44,702
Mr. Palamino, do yöu have
marijuana on the premises?
777
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,750
Uh, one plant.
For my cat's arthritis.
778
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,105
- Is this a joke to yöu?
- No, it helps him a lot.
779
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:54,987
- Right, Balls?
- yöur cat's name is Balls?
780
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,825
With arthritis, shouldn't
that be swollen Balls?
781
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,705
Yeah, joint pain, hilarious.
782
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:07,102
I don't know what this is, but I
don't want to be a part of it.
783
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,071
Just lose the plant.
784
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,461
I probably won't.
Just being honest.
785
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,307
And I probably won't give a shit.
786
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:16,666
(LAUGHING)
787
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:19,346
- yöu sure got me.
- Yeah. Actually, I did.
788
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,630
yöu admitted to an officer of the
law to drugs on the premises.
789
00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:27,029
That's a violation of yöur lease.
790
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:30,431
Which gives yöu 24 hours
to vacate, asshole.
791
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,184
Have a great day.
792
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:40,711
yöu sure there's enough room?
793
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:44,262
Room? There's lots of room!
Pia wants yöu to have her bed.
794
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:45,905
Stay as long as yöu like.
795
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:47,266
Okay.
796
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,147
So. Hey, man.
797
00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:07,381
This is just going to be
for a couple nights. Okay?
798
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,511
At least yöu don't have to worry
about getting beat up anymore.
799
00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:15,626
Why's that?
800
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,580
Because we told them yöu
were a drug dealer.
801
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,510
Thanks, Ravi.
802
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:51,947
During Prohibition,
803
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:55,109
that river bank was the drop off
for black market whiskey.
804
00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,062
LEO: Excuse me. Excuse me.
805
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:02,790
Why'd yöu steal the newspaper?
806
00:53:04,720 --> 00:53:05,901
(LAUGHS)
807
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,990
I took pity on yöu and let yöu come
on the tour. Don't wear it out.
808
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,865
- yöur little 'fuck yöu' to the man?
- I forgot to pay.
809
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:13,510
Like yöu do every day?
810
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:18,503
Change of plans, folks.
811
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,822
Behind me yöu'll see
a set of stairs.
812
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:25,503
There's a view up there that
is well worth the climb.
813
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,386
- What about him?
- He's afraid of heights.
814
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:39,866
Pathetic, isn't it?
815
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,584
There's a hilarious chapter
about it in a book I'm reading.
816
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:51,704
LEO: "In my early twenties,
817
00:53:51,720 --> 00:53:54,346
I thought Leo's blanket distrust
of anyone with authority
818
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,309
was the mark of an original mind."
819
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,468
Okay. "I thought his
strongly held views,
820
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,559
always firmly on the
side of the underdog,
821
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,630
were the expression of
something pure and true.
822
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:06,301
Then I came to see that,
more often than not,
823
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:07,910
Leo's muddled politics...
824
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,546
were expressed in drunken rants
825
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:12,424
about sport hunters,
826
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:14,423
the Christian Right and wars
827
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:16,759
he knew little to nothing about."
828
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:20,706
Hey, how 'bout we take a break
from the out loud reading?
829
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,951
Did yöu really make her have
sex at her aunt's funeral?
830
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,625
I did not make her...
831
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:30,149
Why do yöu... She didn't
even like that aunt.
832
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:37,064
yöu guys don't understand
what it's like
833
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,467
to read a person's thoughts,
834
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:43,784
so well organized in chapters
with witty asides...
835
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,348
as she falls out of love with yöu.
836
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:48,826
yöu know the worst part?
837
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:50,781
Colette.
838
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,781
She read it all, too.
839
00:54:58,360 --> 00:54:59,950
(GRUNTING)
840
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,069
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
841
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,101
His wife has written the book...
842
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:11,740
(SIGHING)
843
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:13,464
yöur hushed tone?
844
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,749
I'd bring it down a few decibels.
845
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,268
And yes, I'm him.
846
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:20,781
Yes, I make snap judgments.
847
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,780
Yes, I walked from
a publishing deal.
848
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:26,301
Yes, one very humid day
849
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:28,224
after way too much sangria,
850
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:30,621
I shit myself in Paris!
851
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:40,427
What?
852
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:01,063
Hey, man. Heads up!
853
00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:22,951
What are yöu doing?
854
00:56:24,240 --> 00:56:27,184
Same as yöu. Staring at
my daughter's huge house.
855
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:29,185
She won't return my calls.
856
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,023
Hey, yöu know, somewhere in
my back seat I think I have
857
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:36,188
a $300 bottle of scotch.
858
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:39,865
I told Colette I
thought what yöu did
859
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:41,664
at the wedding was romantic.
860
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,623
And that's why she's
not talking to me.
861
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:48,950
I'm afraid I've made her fear the
romantic, unlikely dreamers.
862
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,546
With yöur crazy grand gestures.
863
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:55,180
A terrible thing in life
to avoid completely.
864
00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:58,310
- I'm glad yöu weighed in.
- No, I shouldn't have.
865
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:04,624
Yeah. What yöu did was
obnoxious, selfish,
866
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:06,623
superficial as hell.
867
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:08,710
But it took balls.
868
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,541
And I was high at a
very dull party.
869
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,309
What do yöu have against Danny?
870
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,861
It's not what I have
against him. No.
871
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,382
My point was, wait.
872
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,903
yöu don't know a person's character
until the chips are down.
873
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:25,947
And I'm pretty sure
874
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:28,506
the chips have never really
been down for Danny.
875
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:34,504
And what the hell kind of a name
for a camp is 'Awesome Times'?
876
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:37,430
- Awesome Times.
- A little on point, perhaps?
877
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,466
Well, if I were 20 years yöunger,
878
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:46,987
and not in a committed
polyamorous relationship
879
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:51,389
with some people in Anchorage,
I would... I'd fuck ya.
880
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:57,464
That is the nicest thing the
mother of anyone I've loved
881
00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:59,031
has ever said.
882
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,229
And yöu're really giving
up on my daughter?
883
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:08,747
Just because she read a
bestseller yöur ex wrote?
884
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:14,387
yöu would understand
if someone wrote one
885
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,066
about everything wrong with yöu.
886
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,869
And it was funny.
And well observed.
887
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,864
My ex husband, the asshole
who broke my heart,
888
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:26,301
no, eviscerated my heart,
889
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:31,231
when he was in the field reporting
on some African dictator,
890
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:35,147
he would focus on proving just one
of the dictator's claims wrong.
891
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,311
Because if yöu can disprove
892
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,741
one thing a person in power says,
893
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,990
people will question
everything else they say.
894
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:47,865
Just a thought.
895
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:58,822
I'm gonna do that.
896
00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:03,142
yöu have a crippling fear of heights.
yöu can't even watch my wife do it.
897
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:06,071
That's the point, my little friend.
Transcend that.
898
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:08,991
I will blow Julie's book, blog...
899
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,785
It's a multi platform
phenomenon, is what it is.
900
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:14,199
Oh, I'm sorry.
901
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,462
- That's a publishing term.
- I will prove it wrong.
902
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:19,305
For Colette. And for me.
903
00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:23,430
I just have to condition
myself to altitude.
904
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:28,223
A..ha! Ha..ha!
905
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:33,309
Ooh.
(WHIMPERING)
906
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:37,744
I think this is totally gonna work.
907
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:02,030
(WHIMPERING)
908
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:05,399
MAN ON TV: The idea behind
hang gliding is simple.
909
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:08,799
A shift of the center of gravity
to one side, that wing drops
910
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:10,390
and a turn that way.
911
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,184
For the landing, push out.
912
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:14,263
That stalls the kite
and yöu're down.
913
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:01,623
JILL:
yöu're just gonna do a quick run.
914
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:03,705
I have to be at the
gallery by four.
915
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,982
Garnet's sneaking out of a
fundraiser for Danny Hart's camp
916
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,750
to look at a painting
I'm stalled on.
917
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:09,942
Well! Isn't that nice of him.
918
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:13,027
The fundraiser's a big deal,
so it is nice of him.
919
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:14,141
Let's go! I gotta go.
920
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:15,671
- Let's do this!
- Okay.
921
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:18,423
- Are yöu good? Are yöu good?
- Yeah, we're good.
922
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,146
- Easy.
- Are we gonna run now?
923
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:32,985
- Hey, how are ya?
- Fine.
924
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:39,426
- Heads up.
- Whoa!
925
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:44,705
Paint, draw, glue
stuff, I don't care.
926
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:46,385
This is not a class.
927
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,506
What are yöu painting?
928
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:53,631
I call it Knight Fight.
929
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:56,311
yöu must have been a real
dork in school, huh?
930
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:58,224
yöu have no idea.
931
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,181
Kids...
932
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:04,503
My manipulative mother,
who thinks I won't be able
933
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:07,550
to ignore her in front
of yöu, who is wrong.
934
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:09,984
yöu're disturbing them.
935
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:12,303
And on their special day.
936
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,869
Now that's manipulative.
937
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:16,471
That's how yöu do it.
938
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:19,305
Okay. Let's, let's
make stuff, guys.
939
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:24,902
I was... I was out of line at
yöur wedding and I'm sorry.
940
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:27,105
I'm sorry.
941
01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:29,624
And I miss yöu.
942
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:33,106
And I gave birth to
yöu, so yöu owe me.
943
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:38,985
yöu drive all night?
944
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:41,385
Yeah.
945
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:46,870
Okay. Let's put it behind us.
946
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,269
Yeah.
947
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:53,464
Oh! Let's have an awesome time!
948
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,145
Was that facetious?
949
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:57,870
Of course not.
950
01:02:58,200 --> 01:02:59,631
(SCOFFING)
951
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:03,146
NEIL:
yöu know, yöu can back out, dude.
952
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:06,184
- We'll never judge yöu for it.
- No.
953
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,070
I have to do this.
954
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:12,759
Where's this fundraiser?
955
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:15,022
- Oh, it's at the Hart Ranch.
- Good to go.
956
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:22,260
No. Don't yöu even think it. Leo!
957
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:24,189
Leo! No, Leo! No!
958
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:26,263
No, no, no, no. No!
Don't, Leo! Stop!
959
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:28,309
No, no! No, no, no!
960
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:29,666
(SCREAMING)
961
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:39,709
(SCREAMING)
962
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,948
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
963
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:35,224
Can I borrow these?
964
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:43,864
Holy shit! Danny?
965
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:45,945
It's the dishwasher!
966
01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:50,030
Holy shit!
967
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:51,941
Jesus Christ!
968
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:56,589
Isn't he afraid of heights?
969
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:12,027
(SHOUTING)
970
01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:15,742
- Ooh.
- (LEO SHOUTING)
971
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:19,143
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
972
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:43,107
(SCREAMING)
973
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:54,268
(GROANING)
974
01:05:58,000 --> 01:05:59,864
(SNIFFING)
975
01:05:59,920 --> 01:06:01,431
Oh, my God!
976
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:07,506
Hey.
977
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:24,747
The only good thing about
this place is the Jell O.
978
01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:28,501
- And the Percodan.
- I'll get yöu some more.
979
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:31,541
- Percodan?
- Jell O.
980
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:36,266
- yöu want a bite?
- I'm good.
981
01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:48,707
Sorry I broke the Troys.
982
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:57,106
(SIGHING)
983
01:06:57,200 --> 01:06:59,064
Jesus.
984
01:07:00,680 --> 01:07:02,430
Look at yöu.
985
01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:07,382
Why the hell did yöu do it?
986
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,025
To show yöu
987
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:12,660
that one thing Julie
said isn't true.
988
01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:16,068
That I could get over
my fear of heights.
989
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:17,866
A fear which is
990
01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:20,182
very much back, by the way.
991
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:26,221
yöu know, I...
992
01:07:29,040 --> 01:07:32,189
I hate that yöu read all
those things she wrote.
993
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:45,023
Some things she calls wrong
don't seem wrong to me.
994
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:47,428
I don't think yöu were wrong
to walk from a publishing deal
995
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:49,509
because yöu didn't agree
with their changes.
996
01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:53,021
God, I wish I could be
that sure of myself.
997
01:07:55,320 --> 01:07:57,502
Why do yöu steal newspapers?
998
01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:02,620
yöur ex would say that it's a...
999
01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:05,585
a product of futile
antiestablishment urges.
1000
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:07,908
Me, flailing at corporate America.
1001
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:10,222
But their coffee is so expensive.
1002
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:13,862
And the way they double cup?
It's so wasteful.
1003
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,671
So every day I steal a dollar.
1004
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:23,028
My little 'fuck yöu' to the man.
1005
01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:32,145
But this isn't gonna end
how yöu want it to.
1006
01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:47,384
Good bye, Leo.
1007
01:08:56,280 --> 01:08:58,223
(SIGHING)
1008
01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:02,461
LEO: Writing, and the
pursuit of a woman,
1009
01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,469
like any impossible dream,
1010
01:09:04,480 --> 01:09:06,548
are not about immediate results.
1011
01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:08,704
They're about telling the truth,
1012
01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:11,944
no matter how absurd
or embarrassing,
1013
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,751
or what injuries yöu sustain.
1014
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:18,229
And hoping like hell
she'll hear yöu.
1015
01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:21,231
(LAUGHING)
1016
01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:23,550
He's... he's awful.
1017
01:09:23,680 --> 01:09:26,750
Does he do that thing where
he just talks and talks...
1018
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:29,867
Hey, Debrugan!
1019
01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:40,101
Sometimes a prick is a prick,
and it needs to be said.
1020
01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:42,985
At a brunch? In front of
an entire restaurant?
1021
01:09:43,120 --> 01:09:45,666
Not everything is an
opportunity to take a stand.
1022
01:09:46,040 --> 01:09:48,029
What is one? For yöu?
1023
01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:52,464
I mean, between all the back slapping
and the 'hey man', who'd have the time?
1024
01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:55,902
Sorry I don't occupy the
special place of moral purity
1025
01:09:55,960 --> 01:10:00,384
from which to cast my pious judgments,
better known as a dish pit.
1026
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:02,079
(LAUGHING)
1027
01:10:02,080 --> 01:10:04,626
What... what the hell does
this have to do with him?
1028
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,068
Because it's what yöu're thinking.
1029
01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:27,586
We need to talk.
1030
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:39,390
(DISHES CLANKING)
1031
01:10:44,320 --> 01:10:46,388
yöur pal in there, Mandeep.
1032
01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:48,190
My firm did the paperwork
for this place
1033
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:51,110
when they wanted a guest worker
visa to bring in a cook.
1034
01:10:52,160 --> 01:10:54,945
Okay. What I've done has
nothing to do with him.
1035
01:10:54,960 --> 01:10:56,425
It's so sad.
1036
01:10:56,520 --> 01:10:58,224
These poor bastards.
1037
01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:00,826
They get told by these
recruiting agencies to come,
1038
01:11:00,880 --> 01:11:03,665
work an entry level job
and get a work permit.
1039
01:11:03,720 --> 01:11:05,470
But it's all bullshit.
1040
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:08,106
And yöu can be damn sure
they're not gonna get one
1041
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:10,029
if they're too scared
to contact Immigration
1042
01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:12,222
when those visas ran out.
1043
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:14,744
Two years ago.
1044
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:21,263
If yöu ever say another
single word to my wife,
1045
01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:23,719
yöur friend and his kids are
going back to whatever shithole
1046
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:25,868
in Bangalore they came from.
1047
01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:27,950
Comprende, dishwasher?
1048
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:01,949
yöu okay?
1049
01:12:03,720 --> 01:12:07,029
Hmm? Yeah. Fine.
1050
01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:31,348
(SHOUTING)
1051
01:12:34,760 --> 01:12:36,828
(SIGHING)
1052
01:12:38,200 --> 01:12:39,825
(BALLS GRUMBLING)
1053
01:12:43,080 --> 01:12:45,069
What do yöu think, buddy?
1054
01:12:45,920 --> 01:12:48,227
What else can life take from us?
1055
01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:51,340
(BALLS GRUMBLING, RUSTLING)
1056
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:08,068
(SIGHING)
1057
01:13:22,520 --> 01:13:24,065
What are yöu doing here?
1058
01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:27,141
I have a few days
off the book tour.
1059
01:13:27,720 --> 01:13:29,902
I thought I'd bring Snow home.
1060
01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:37,382
- Snow?
- yöu're right about the cats, Leo.
1061
01:13:40,960 --> 01:13:42,300
They should be together.
1062
01:13:42,880 --> 01:13:44,789
(LAUGHING) Oh,
1063
01:13:48,280 --> 01:13:51,031
Always had shitty timing, Jules.
1064
01:13:57,760 --> 01:13:59,305
(JULIE SIGHING)
1065
01:13:59,960 --> 01:14:01,744
I wonder if I hadn't separated them
1066
01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:03,703
if the bear would have got him?
1067
01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:05,586
Probably not.
1068
01:14:06,560 --> 01:14:07,991
Snow's a scrapper.
1069
01:14:08,040 --> 01:14:10,063
Aren't yöu, old girl?
1070
01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:11,506
(GRUMBLING)
1071
01:14:11,520 --> 01:14:13,110
Yeah.
1072
01:14:15,800 --> 01:14:17,470
I read yöur book.
1073
01:14:18,760 --> 01:14:21,386
- Really?
- I can't believe yöu broke my guitar.
1074
01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:23,867
I can't believe yöu
couldn't learn one song.
1075
01:14:34,440 --> 01:14:36,827
Sure, they're hanging
her paintings.
1076
01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:38,311
And yöu know what
they're also doing?
1077
01:14:38,320 --> 01:14:42,027
They're laughing at inside jokes,
and developing a shorthand.
1078
01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:46,547
Screw it. I'm going in!
1079
01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:50,506
Neil, yöu have nothing
to worry about. Neil!
1080
01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:54,547
Neil, Neil, Neil! Nothing good will
come from yöu going in there. Trust me!
1081
01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:57,982
- Said by a man who listens to no one.
- yöu're right.
1082
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:01,700
Said by a man who should start.
1083
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,386
yöu were right.
1084
01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:08,703
I should have trusted yöu.
1085
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:10,909
About my book.
1086
01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:13,870
yöu're a good editor.
I wore yöu down.
1087
01:15:13,920 --> 01:15:15,624
I let yöu down.
1088
01:15:15,680 --> 01:15:19,102
I dug in my heels instead of
listening to yöur suggestions.
1089
01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:21,987
Which were good.
1090
01:15:22,040 --> 01:15:25,144
All right, well, yöu couldn't see
it at the time. That's okay.
1091
01:15:25,160 --> 01:15:26,341
But yöu did.
1092
01:15:27,560 --> 01:15:29,185
yöu had faith in me, man.
1093
01:15:29,240 --> 01:15:31,820
I should have had
faith in yöu back.
1094
01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:35,866
To listen. And Julie was
right, it's my worst flaw.
1095
01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:38,466
Which I will work on.
1096
01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:41,464
If yöu have faith in me on
this and do not go in there.
1097
01:15:48,080 --> 01:15:49,909
- Okay.
- Okay?
1098
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:57,787
Hey!
1099
01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:01,543
Can I talk to yöu for a minute?
1100
01:16:04,120 --> 01:16:05,267
How's Leo?
1101
01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:09,507
- He's fine.
- Good.
1102
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:13,270
Can yöu say hi to him for me?
1103
01:16:13,440 --> 01:16:17,226
He sleeps in our room, so yeah,
we could probably hook that up.
1104
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:19,181
Thanks, guys.
1105
01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:29,509
- Hey, Colette! Wait up!
- Colette! Hold on! Wait!
1106
01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:32,629
yöu need to know something.
1107
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:40,109
(DOOR OPENING)
1108
01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:46,311
Hey, babe.
1109
01:16:47,760 --> 01:16:50,101
I know what yöu
threatened Leo with.
1110
01:16:53,840 --> 01:16:55,510
I knew he'd play this for sympathy.
1111
01:16:58,000 --> 01:17:00,102
No, he honored yöur deal.
1112
01:17:01,160 --> 01:17:02,944
He didn't tell me anything.
1113
01:17:09,680 --> 01:17:12,829
yöu've never been on the
outside of anything, have yöu?
1114
01:17:14,400 --> 01:17:15,639
(SCOFFING)
1115
01:17:15,640 --> 01:17:17,026
When yöu noticed me, Danny,
1116
01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:21,065
yöu cast a warmth on me
I'd never felt before.
1117
01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:24,827
And those first
months were perfect.
1118
01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:28,066
What do yöu mean, 'were?'
1119
01:17:28,080 --> 01:17:31,707
I mean I think I spent so long thinking
there was something wrong with me
1120
01:17:31,720 --> 01:17:34,471
because I was never
on the inside...
1121
01:17:35,200 --> 01:17:37,302
that I never thought about
what being there...
1122
01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:40,782
always being there,
does to a person.
1123
01:17:41,600 --> 01:17:45,102
- Being where?
- Safe. Perfectly safe.
1124
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:47,222
Surrounded by yöur boys
1125
01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:50,389
and yöur history here and
yöur father's reputation.
1126
01:17:50,440 --> 01:17:53,908
- Okay, I am the one wronged here!
- Yes. yöu were.
1127
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:57,183
- So I took a stand against this asshole.
- A stand?
1128
01:17:57,240 --> 01:18:01,311
Danny, taking a stand has to hurt.
Or make yöu look like a fool or...
1129
01:18:05,880 --> 01:18:07,584
What yöu did was easy.
1130
01:18:08,240 --> 01:18:10,388
And that is not a stand.
1131
01:18:12,240 --> 01:18:14,183
I don't belong here...
1132
01:18:15,160 --> 01:18:16,421
and we both know it.
1133
01:18:16,560 --> 01:18:18,025
All right.
1134
01:18:18,080 --> 01:18:21,229
This isn't happening.
No, not about him.
1135
01:18:21,440 --> 01:18:24,111
I'm not gonna run into his
arms, if that's what yöu mean.
1136
01:18:29,440 --> 01:18:31,508
But it is about him.
1137
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:36,463
About all that he is that makes
what yöu're not so clear.
1138
01:18:41,680 --> 01:18:43,305
What, a loser?
1139
01:18:43,960 --> 01:18:46,461
A guy who scrubs pots for a living?
1140
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:51,305
A guy whose own wife
couldn't stand him? Hmm?
1141
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:55,987
We're all wrong for someone, Danny.
1142
01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:14,709
Oh, shit.
1143
01:19:16,360 --> 01:19:18,144
LEO: Jill had used
those way too intimate
1144
01:19:18,200 --> 01:19:21,543
pictures of Neil on her
phone for something more...
1145
01:19:21,600 --> 01:19:23,782
profound than foreplay.
1146
01:19:26,160 --> 01:19:29,742
- (CHUCKLING)
- yöu are a fine piece of art.
1147
01:19:39,000 --> 01:19:42,786
- yöu can't consult yöur muse.
- They are amazing.
1148
01:19:42,920 --> 01:19:45,671
And I am an idiot.
1149
01:19:45,720 --> 01:19:48,141
yöu really are, an idiot.
1150
01:19:48,480 --> 01:19:50,901
Who inspires me every day.
1151
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:04,663
- Leo.
- Julie.
1152
01:20:05,360 --> 01:20:09,545
- Uh, this is Chad. Leo.
- Hey, Chad.
1153
01:20:10,280 --> 01:20:13,543
Hon, can yöu just give
us a minute? Okay.
1154
01:20:17,920 --> 01:20:19,385
Did yöu ever think we'd
be standing in a room
1155
01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:23,306
full of vaguely abstracted
images of Neil's junk?
1156
01:20:23,720 --> 01:20:25,549
(LAUGHING)
1157
01:20:27,280 --> 01:20:29,223
Is it so surprising, though?
1158
01:20:30,320 --> 01:20:33,310
There's always been something
seriously wrong with them.
1159
01:20:34,200 --> 01:20:35,426
Exactly.
1160
01:20:35,840 --> 01:20:39,342
yöu know, the right kind
of wrong, for each other.
1161
01:20:41,360 --> 01:20:43,542
It's kind of what we weren't.
1162
01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:50,270
yöu're a good writer, Jules.
1163
01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:53,546
Thank yöu.
1164
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:57,668
From yöu that means a lot.
1165
01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:00,980
And I should've climbed
mountains for yöu.
1166
01:21:02,720 --> 01:21:04,663
I did a lot wrong, too.
1167
01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:07,346
Maybe I didn't
1168
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:09,264
stress that enough in the blog.
1169
01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:13,140
Or the book.
1170
01:21:13,720 --> 01:21:15,424
I'll try in the movie.
1171
01:21:20,320 --> 01:21:24,823
- Oh, there's gonna be a movie?
- Yeah. Cool, huh?
1172
01:21:25,240 --> 01:21:27,039
- Mmm.
- And speaking of,
1173
01:21:27,040 --> 01:21:30,064
I actually have an idea about
those copies of yöur novel, I...
1174
01:21:30,080 --> 01:21:31,591
COLETTE: Hey!
1175
01:21:32,800 --> 01:21:34,106
Do yöu know that woman?
1176
01:21:37,440 --> 01:21:39,479
Uh, what were yöu saying?
About my novel?
1177
01:21:39,480 --> 01:21:43,062
Hi. Julie. I'm Colette.
1178
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:44,790
It's a great book.
1179
01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:47,542
Total load of crap, but funny.
1180
01:21:48,280 --> 01:21:49,506
Thank yöu.
1181
01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:52,701
I'll, um,
1182
01:21:52,760 --> 01:21:54,385
I'll leave yöu two.
1183
01:22:00,120 --> 01:22:01,267
I'm sorry, Colette.
1184
01:22:01,280 --> 01:22:04,987
I, um, shouldn't have
pursued yöu so shamelessly.
1185
01:22:05,040 --> 01:22:06,744
I don't...
1186
01:22:07,320 --> 01:22:09,024
I don't even know yöu.
1187
01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:13,990
- Really?
- I have to go.
1188
01:22:14,040 --> 01:22:16,108
- So...
- I left Danny.
1189
01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:22,869
And if Mandeep gets a
call from Immigration,
1190
01:22:22,920 --> 01:22:25,102
he knows I'll take half
the house in the divorce.
1191
01:22:26,320 --> 01:22:29,469
Danny... loves that house.
1192
01:22:33,320 --> 01:22:35,149
Do yöu know what got me?
1193
01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:39,824
It wasn't yöur willingness
to humiliate yöurself...
1194
01:22:41,120 --> 01:22:43,222
or all the injuries.
1195
01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:48,023
It was that after all that,
yöu would walk away.
1196
01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:51,468
There's something in yöu,
1197
01:22:51,960 --> 01:22:53,266
some hard,
1198
01:22:53,320 --> 01:22:55,627
good little kernel of something.
1199
01:22:57,360 --> 01:22:59,110
Corn?
1200
01:22:59,200 --> 01:23:01,621
It's the only thing I know
that comes in kernels.
1201
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:04,228
Dude, there is nothing
good about corn.
1202
01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:07,111
Only the Mayans knew how to
digest that shit. But yöu?
1203
01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:09,791
yöu try telling Monsanto
that in threatening letters,
1204
01:23:09,800 --> 01:23:12,949
they will send dudes to yöur house.
1205
01:23:14,880 --> 01:23:18,462
- Have yöu been drinking?
- Since three.
1206
01:23:19,080 --> 01:23:20,181
Do yöu want to
1207
01:23:20,240 --> 01:23:23,150
go find an inappropriate
place to make out?
1208
01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:27,464
(DOOR CLOSING)
1209
01:23:28,440 --> 01:23:30,702
Ah. Where were yöu last night?
1210
01:23:31,160 --> 01:23:32,671
(CHUCKLING)
1211
01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:36,025
Come here!
1212
01:23:38,880 --> 01:23:40,664
Thank yöu. Thank yöu.
1213
01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:43,664
- What if she's yöur Poojah?
- Yeah.
1214
01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:47,224
- What are yöu talking about?
- yöu made sweet love to her?
1215
01:23:48,560 --> 01:23:50,071
Well, I wouldn't say that.
1216
01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:20,228
Are yöu sure we
should be doing this?
1217
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:22,151
- yöu're really drunk.
- Shut up.
1218
01:24:22,160 --> 01:24:24,069
- yöu're really drunk.
- Shut up!
1219
01:24:24,600 --> 01:24:26,862
- LEO: Okay.
- COLETTE: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1220
01:24:26,880 --> 01:24:29,267
We talked. It was nice.
1221
01:24:29,960 --> 01:24:31,550
Colette!
1222
01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:34,101
- I don't know why yöu're...
- No, no!
1223
01:24:34,160 --> 01:24:36,706
Thanks to yöu, I am
gonna be 30, man!
1224
01:24:37,120 --> 01:24:39,382
- It's a great age!
- I'm gonna be divorced.
1225
01:24:39,440 --> 01:24:42,703
My God! My cups are never
gonna match again!
1226
01:24:43,040 --> 01:24:44,471
(GRUNTING)
1227
01:24:47,040 --> 01:24:50,906
God! Do yöu think yöu
should keep drinking?
1228
01:24:51,640 --> 01:24:53,230
(GLASS SHATTERING)
1229
01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:10,861
yöu okay?
1230
01:25:18,720 --> 01:25:21,664
- (DUCKS QUACKING)
- (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
1231
01:25:24,520 --> 01:25:26,304
(DOOR OPENS)
1232
01:25:34,440 --> 01:25:36,781
They're lovely. Thanks.
1233
01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:40,588
And I'm a really bad drinker.
1234
01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:42,909
A little aggressive, maybe.
1235
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:53,510
- I've been to Paris.
- I haven't, actually.
1236
01:25:53,640 --> 01:25:55,230
My mom sent it to me.
1237
01:25:57,080 --> 01:25:58,591
Oh, yeah.
1238
01:25:58,960 --> 01:26:00,425
yöu have been there.
1239
01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:03,879
Oh.
1240
01:26:03,880 --> 01:26:05,141
I had heatstroke.
1241
01:26:06,840 --> 01:26:08,704
I'm not the best drinker, either.
1242
01:26:16,040 --> 01:26:17,630
For yöu.
1243
01:26:17,720 --> 01:26:19,709
That's really sweet.
1244
01:26:21,880 --> 01:26:23,141
For yöu.
1245
01:26:25,440 --> 01:26:26,507
Oh, my God.
1246
01:26:26,520 --> 01:26:28,429
I'm so sorry about last night.
1247
01:26:34,760 --> 01:26:36,464
Bruises heal.
1248
01:26:41,640 --> 01:26:43,788
Leo, I left Danny because of yöu.
1249
01:26:47,400 --> 01:26:48,831
Not for yöu.
1250
01:26:50,360 --> 01:26:52,588
Isn't that kind of the same thing?
1251
01:26:52,800 --> 01:26:55,346
I went to the art gallery
because I wanted to tell yöu
1252
01:26:55,400 --> 01:26:58,390
how noble I thought yöu
were when he wasn't.
1253
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:01,943
But what happened after...
1254
01:27:03,400 --> 01:27:05,628
It's been a tough time,
1255
01:27:05,640 --> 01:27:09,108
and I think I just needed
to blow off a little steam.
1256
01:27:12,680 --> 01:27:14,145
I'm so sorry.
1257
01:27:15,120 --> 01:27:19,384
No, it's... I get it.
1258
01:27:21,120 --> 01:27:23,188
Yeah, we've all done it.
1259
01:27:27,400 --> 01:27:28,990
But next time yöu try
to lose yöurself
1260
01:27:29,040 --> 01:27:32,622
in some trauma inducing
sexual encounter,
1261
01:27:33,480 --> 01:27:36,265
just make sure the guy
isn't in love with yöu.
1262
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:45,068
See yöu around, Colette.
1263
01:27:55,400 --> 01:27:57,423
(BOTH CHATTERING)
1264
01:27:58,320 --> 01:28:01,519
LEO: That summer, three
seemingly impossible,
1265
01:28:01,520 --> 01:28:03,748
beautiful things happened.
1266
01:28:04,160 --> 01:28:06,103
(ANIMAL GRUMBLING)
1267
01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:10,782
The first...
1268
01:28:10,840 --> 01:28:14,069
Balls came out of the
woods, healthier than ever.
1269
01:28:15,720 --> 01:28:16,959
JULIE ON TV: which is what I want.
1270
01:28:16,960 --> 01:28:19,586
LEO: The second impossible thing
began with Julie's rounds
1271
01:28:19,600 --> 01:28:23,199
on the talk shows to promote
Why yöu Suck, the movie.
1272
01:28:23,200 --> 01:28:26,543
Leo was the most stubborn guy.
And a terrible guitar player.
1273
01:28:27,600 --> 01:28:29,782
But the novel he wrote,
1274
01:28:29,840 --> 01:28:31,783
"Sex and Sunsets",
1275
01:28:31,960 --> 01:28:35,462
muddled, but intriguing.
1276
01:28:35,520 --> 01:28:37,782
"Sex and Sunsets?"
1277
01:28:37,840 --> 01:28:39,305
Interesting.
1278
01:28:40,360 --> 01:28:42,189
Really? All of them?
1279
01:28:42,280 --> 01:28:44,747
Yeah. Amazon ordered way more
than we had. Julie was right.
1280
01:28:44,840 --> 01:28:46,749
Her just mentioning
it made it sell.
1281
01:28:46,840 --> 01:28:48,749
We're going into a second printing!
1282
01:28:58,160 --> 01:29:00,740
The third impossible thing being
1283
01:29:00,800 --> 01:29:03,631
the death of the Big Horn Honker.
1284
01:29:09,840 --> 01:29:12,386
Writing and the pursuit of a woman
1285
01:29:12,400 --> 01:29:14,741
are never about immediate results.
1286
01:29:14,800 --> 01:29:17,631
COLETTE READING: What they
are about is telling the truth.
1287
01:29:17,920 --> 01:29:20,671
And hoping like hell
she'll hear yöu.
1288
01:29:28,680 --> 01:29:31,306
LEO:
I'd like to think I've evolved.
1289
01:29:31,760 --> 01:29:33,305
But I'll always say,
1290
01:29:33,320 --> 01:29:36,629
some snap judgments are true.
1291
01:29:43,600 --> 01:29:46,829
Because yöu have to be a
dick to drive a Hummer.
1292
01:29:50,720 --> 01:29:52,345
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1293
01:30:18,720 --> 01:30:19,707
LEO: Hey.
1294
01:30:24,480 --> 01:30:28,710
- yöu're really out of breath.
- Just getting some exercise.
1295
01:30:34,520 --> 01:30:36,065
What are yöu doing here?
1296
01:30:38,400 --> 01:30:41,868
There was a white bear spotted
on a trail north of town.
1297
01:30:44,160 --> 01:30:46,103
And I wondered if
1298
01:30:47,400 --> 01:30:49,502
yöu wanted to look for him with me.
1299
01:31:01,120 --> 01:31:02,267
I know a trail that
should get us there
1300
01:31:02,320 --> 01:31:04,070
without too bad a climb.
1301
01:31:19,960 --> 01:31:21,903
I know it's inappropriate...
1302
01:31:24,040 --> 01:31:26,620
but I want yöu, Leo Palamino.
1303
01:31:27,560 --> 01:31:29,264
Right here.
1304
01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:43,546
- Come on! Stay with me.
- BOY: Nice view.
1305
01:31:50,320 --> 01:31:51,910
Oh.
1306
01:31:51,920 --> 01:31:54,068
The beauty of nature
will surprise yöu
1307
01:31:54,080 --> 01:31:56,911
if yöu look and listen.
1308
01:31:56,920 --> 01:31:59,022
- Nature's great!
- Awesome.
1309
01:32:00,080 --> 01:32:02,706
(GIGGLING, CHATTER)
1310
01:32:06,040 --> 01:32:07,505
That really is awesome.
1311
01:32:19,480 --> 01:32:20,786
This way!
89953
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