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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,799 SONG: ♪ I'm going up the country Baby, don't you wanna go? ♪ 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,519 (WOMAN PANTS) 3 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:10,840 ♪ I'm going up the country Baby, don't you wanna go? 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,919 ♪ I'm going to some place where I've never been... ♪ 5 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:15,920 (COUGHS) 6 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:16,920 ♪ Before... ♪ 7 00:00:16,921 --> 00:00:17,960 (THUD!) 8 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,800 Hey. Can you hear me? (CELESTIAL MUSIC) 9 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,080 Are you OK? 10 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:34,959 (SPRAY SQUIRTS) (GASPS) 11 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,439 Ooh! What the fuck?! 12 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,479 Who are you?! Where am I? 13 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:40,639 I said, who are you? I'm Charlie... 14 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,919 Answer me! Stop! 15 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,639 What are you doing? Stop! 16 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:45,839 (HISSING NOISE WITHOUT SPRAYING) 17 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,239 Wait, Fig! 18 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,519 Guy, I'm not gonna tell you how to do your whole water torture thing, 19 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,479 'cause who am I, a white man, 20 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:56,159 to tell you, an empowered black man, how to interrogate? 21 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,839 But maybe we should let her answer. 22 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,439 Shut your hole. She's my prisoner. 23 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,479 Prisoner?! What is this? 24 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,679 Some kind of... some kind of snuff film? 25 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,599 Some kind of weird interracial snuff film? 26 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,120 It's not a snuff film. You're not even tied up. 27 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,839 Actually, you're free to go. 28 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,040 No, she's not! Didn't you hear what I just said? 29 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:19,519 (SPRAYS) Hey! Hey! Stop it! 30 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,999 Alright, stop! Stop! 31 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,439 Argh! (SHOUTS) 32 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,679 Guy! Guy! Not the hair. Guy, Guy, that's enough. 33 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,640 (PANTS) 34 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,960 (BIRD CALLS) 35 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,039 Help me. 36 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,759 Come here, bub. You're safe now. 37 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,159 Where am I? How'd I get here? 38 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,520 You don't remember? 39 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,279 CHARLIE: Hey! That's my car! Those are my things! 40 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,279 Those are my clothes! 41 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,479 Wait, where's my phone? 42 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,399 I need my phone. Where's my phone? It's OK. Relax. 43 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:14,079 I'm Kelly and this is my fiance, Lionel. 44 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,239 Welcome to Eden 2. 45 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,359 Eden 2? Are you a cult? 46 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,999 Hey, we're not a cult. 47 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,919 We're preppers. Preppers? 48 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,519 We're a self-sufficient community prepping for the end of the world. 49 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,000 Like Armageddon? 'Armageddon' ready for anything! 50 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,079 Get it? You're serious. 51 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,359 KELLY: Deadly serious. 52 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,719 Global wars, civil wars, nuclear wars, race wars, 53 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,359 alien invasion, overpopulation, 54 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,759 bushfires, tidal waves, climate change, supervolcanoes. 55 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,719 And don't forget, the four horsemen ushering the apocalypse 56 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,799 as the sun becomes black like sackcloth 57 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,879 and the moon becomes like blood 58 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,679 and the stars of the sky fall upon the earth. 59 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,479 It's a personal favourite. Hey? You are a cult. 60 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,359 This has happened before. 61 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,719 The sun became sackcloth? 62 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,559 What? No. 63 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:59,960 Not their gammon horsemen nonsense. Hey. 64 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,679 But an apocalypse. 65 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,519 1788, when the First Fleet invaded. 66 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,559 End of the world. 67 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,279 CHARLIE: Hold on. 68 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,119 You seriously can't be prepared for all those things? 69 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,119 That's why we're called preppers and not unprepareders. 70 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,319 Ugh! 71 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,479 Duh. 72 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,720 Here, eat this. You'll feel better. 73 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,720 Mmm. 74 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,119 Wait. I think I'm gonna be sick. 75 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,520 Where's the bathroom? Ugh! 76 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,200 (THEME MUSIC) 77 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,480 (BIRDSONG) 78 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,960 Thomas? 79 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,800 (GRUNTS) 80 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,440 You are enough. 81 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,719 You are enough. You... 82 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,399 Oh, my God, you can't breathe. 83 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,119 VOICEMAIL: This is Thomas. Leave a message at the... 84 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,479 (BEEP!) Hi, Thomas. It's me again. 85 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,479 WOMAN: Yeah, we just gotta get it to the left. 86 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,919 MAN: Morning, Charlie. That's it. 87 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,600 Do you like the new poster? 88 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,520 Good morning. 89 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,119 Bianca Vita Extrait de Parfum. 90 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,359 (SNIFFS) Oh, I love this! 91 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,679 Yes, that's Sophie's. 92 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,879 You know how she is with her Bianca Vita Extrait de Parfum. 93 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,640 Mm. (CHUCKLES) 94 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,679 Alright, people, back live in five. CHARLIE: You are enough. 95 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,560 You are enough. ..four, three... 96 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:01,799 Good morning. It's January 25. And I'm Sophie McNamara. 97 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,879 And I'm Charlie Smallwood, joining you this morning as we... 98 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,359 We wake up Australia. 99 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,200 (CHEESY MUSIC) 100 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,560 (TOILET FLUSHES) 101 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:14,560 Ah! 102 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,839 (BEEP!) 'Agent of Truth'. 103 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,479 Podcast episode 197. 104 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,079 I'm your host, Kirby X. 105 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,479 What are you doing? 106 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,839 As usual, 'Agent of Truth' comes to you from an undisclosed location... 107 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,079 It's a portable toilet. You can't prove that. 108 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,080 (TOILET FLUSHES) 109 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:35,879 I'm joined by Eden 2's interloper, Charlie Smallwood. 110 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,439 I'm not Charlie Smallwood. 111 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,959 Yes, she is. 112 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,599 Charlie's a co-host on 'Wake Up Australia', 113 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,759 where she brainwashes the masses with corporate propaganda. 114 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:50,439 She's a catfish working for the corporate capitalist necktie cult. 115 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,839 'Agent of Truth' is brought to you by 5G-BioShell. 116 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:55,319 OK, I'm not Charlie Smallwood. 117 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,679 Charlie Francis Smallwood. 118 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,959 DOB - 3 September 19... You got that from my car! 119 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,559 Charlie's here to record some kind of TV expose. 120 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,839 No, I'm not! Then what are you doing on our land? 121 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,719 I'm not on your land. This is my land. Now, let me out! 122 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,319 Get yourself out. 123 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,799 Oh, let me out! 124 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,639 (BOTH ARGUE) 125 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,519 (BOTH WOMEN SCREAM) 126 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,879 Alright, get off. You're squishing me. 127 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,160 Alright, I kind of like it. We don't get... 128 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:27,679 (GROANS) Gosh. We're out. 129 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,999 Wow! That could've been pretty disgusting. 130 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,479 Lucky I was walking by. 131 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,279 Not now, 'Pantene Pro-V'. 132 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,360 What do you mean 'your land', Smallwood? 133 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,279 I own this land and I do not give any of you permission to be here. 134 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:43,599 What about me? 135 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,519 Especially not you. 136 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,879 Well, if this is your land, how come we've never seen you here before? 137 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,119 Because maybe you weren't prepared for me. 138 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,119 Now, look, just tell me who's managing this mission 139 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,520 and we could get this all sorted out, OK? 140 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,320 Thank you. 141 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,719 Charlie. 142 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,039 I've been expecting you. 143 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:18,279 A 10,000-year lease. 144 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,359 Yes. 145 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:23,039 But I'd be surprised if we'll even need 10% of that 146 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,039 with the way the world's been going. 147 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,319 And you did this deal with my nan? 148 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,839 Was this before or after she went into the old folks home? 149 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,159 Before, of course. (BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY) 150 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,119 But she never mentioned you or Eden 151 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,039 or a legally binding 10,000-year lease 152 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,719 or prepping. 153 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:46,200 Here, Charlie, I've been asked to read this to you aloud. 154 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,279 "My dearest Charlie, 155 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:55,399 "I always hoped you'd find your way to Eden 2. 156 00:07:55,400 --> 00:08:00,359 "If you are hearing this letter read aloud by Uncle Monty, 157 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,639 "then you've made it. 158 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:09,359 "As you know, survival as First Nations people is our strength. 159 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:16,239 "So I hope you can join Monty and the preppers of Eden 2 160 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:22,959 "in ensuring the continued survival of Aboriginal people. 161 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,279 "Love, Nanna. 162 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:29,879 "PS. Whatever you do, don't tell your mum. 163 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,959 "PPS. 164 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:36,919 "Seriously, do not tell your mum." 165 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:42,559 You're saying that my nan gave you a 10,000-year legally binding lease 166 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:46,319 for the continued survival of Aboriginal people? 167 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,199 Yes. Half of Eden 2 aren't even black. 168 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,679 Doomsday prepping isn't cheap. 169 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:56,399 Besides, it makes it easier to decide who gets eaten first. 170 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,239 (LAUGHS) 171 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,479 Doesn't seem legal. 172 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,479 I could challenge you in court, you know. 173 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:03,960 Let me see that lease. 174 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,720 See for yourself, Charlie. 175 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,999 This isn't fair. 176 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,560 Fair as a blackfella's bum. 177 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,519 My nan used to say that. 178 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,440 I know. 179 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,559 Look, Monty, 180 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:29,279 I didn't come here for this 181 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,919 and I don't plan to stay. 182 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,959 I just want my land back. 183 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,759 Charlie, we're Aboriginal people. 184 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,519 We all want our land back. 185 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,519 (DIDGERIDOO MUSIC) 186 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,439 RAP SONG: ♪ These beats got us outta control 187 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,399 ♪ Dance around like you never get old 188 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,439 ♪ Breaking and popping and my boys pop locking 189 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,519 ♪ Got us feeling like we outta this world 190 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:56,679 (SINGS IN ABORIGINAL LANGUAGE) 191 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,559 ♪ Go hard, never lay back, lay back 192 00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,559 ♪ Too real, can't fake that, fake that 193 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:03,039 ♪ Smile for the 'gram like take that, take that... ♪ 194 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,919 (SCREAMS) 195 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,800 Oh, my God! 196 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,920 Shit! Where is it? 197 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,800 Where is it? 198 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,840 I know you're there. 199 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,320 No, you don't. 200 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,639 Idiot. Psst! What are you doin'? 201 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:28,399 I'm looking for my phone. I can't leave without it. 202 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,600 Be careful, Charlie. Why? 203 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,679 There's booby traps everywhere. 204 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,319 I lost a bear trap around here sometime. 205 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:43,359 Uh... Guy, is it? Sup? 206 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,560 OK, Guy, do you have a phone? I need to call myself. 207 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,440 Hey, don't be snooping on my selfie game. 208 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,279 VOICEMAIL: "Hi, you've reached Charlie Smallwood..." 209 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,319 Shit! I'm out of battery. 210 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,919 Dammit. 211 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,439 Deadly, huh? 212 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,559 Not the bear trap. Me. Like, I'm deadly. 213 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,279 Deadlier than the bear trap. 214 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,799 Like, 'deadly' in, like... like, OK, how blackfellas say 'deadly'. 215 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,319 Like, "Deadly!" Not, like, gammon. 216 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,399 Like, 'deadly, ' like in, like, Steven Seagal in 'Under Siege 2'. 217 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,799 You know, they got the sword and, like, he's on the train 218 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,280 and he's like, "I'll kill you, man." 219 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,919 Yours are so perfect. 220 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,199 KELLY: Sometimes I miss three-ply toilet paper. 221 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,600 (CHUCKLES) 222 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,799 What are these? 223 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,119 They're REMs - ready-to-eat meals. 224 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,919 Monty got them for a bargain. 225 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,039 "Best before 1948." 226 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:48,359 Everyone, I have an exciting announcement to make. 227 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:52,279 As per the wishes of Charlie's nan, 228 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:58,159 she will be joining us in the Eden 2 prepping community. 229 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:02,599 No, no, no, no, no, no. Monty... (OTHERS COMPLAIN) 230 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,039 I just wanna get it, then leave. 231 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,319 One at a time! 232 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:11,039 Look, I'm not here to invalidate anyone's right to be heard. 233 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,239 Shut up, Fig. 234 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,999 But I wanna welcome Charlie to Eden 2. 235 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:18,039 Wrong! As chief of Eden 2 security, we need to be wary of outsiders. 236 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,040 Yeah. 237 00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,919 Plus, we're only as strong as our weakest link, 238 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,199 and I'm already carrying Jayden. 239 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,839 Hey! 240 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,159 We don't know what Smallwood's intentions are. 241 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,159 Look at her, all vajazzled. 242 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,479 TikToking in her Twitter-tocracy. 243 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,439 She could be wearing a wire. OK, I am not wearing a wire. 244 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,999 Then strip. Yes! 245 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,879 ALL: Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. 246 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,159 Strip. Strip. No. 247 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:45,439 Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. 248 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,119 No, no, no, no. Strip. Strip. Strip. 249 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,520 Listen. 250 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,759 You are very distracting. 251 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,399 I have no intention of joining your little community. 252 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,719 I'm just here to stay on my land 253 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,479 till I can get my phone and find an alternative place to stay. 254 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:06,479 Where's your family, Charlie? Can't you stay with them? 255 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,759 No. I tried. 256 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,159 What about your friends? No. 257 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,719 Boyfriend? Husband? 258 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:11,720 Girlfriend? Partner? 259 00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:13,919 Asexual? Polyamorous? 260 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,399 Perhaps she's polyandrist. 261 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,039 How many brother husbands have you got, sis? 262 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,159 She seems too secretive to be polyamorous. 263 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,039 It's none of your business, OK? 264 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,959 Wow. Nobody loves you. 265 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,079 ALL: Ohhhhh! 266 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,999 Charlie... So sad. 267 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,439 Sad? Sad?! Hey! 268 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:34,279 That's a bit rich coming from you. From all of you! 269 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,479 Hey, I know, let's do a little experiment. 270 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,599 I love experiments! Great. 271 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,159 Let's go around the table and you can each tell me 272 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,199 how you think the world will end. Ready? 273 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,559 Zombies. Global warming. 274 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,319 BOTH: The Rapture. Governmental overreach. 275 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,199 White people. MONTY: All of the above. 276 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,679 And maybe even an 'astranoid'. See? 277 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,359 You can't even agree on the most basic thing. 278 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,119 The difference is I don't think aliens 279 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,079 or tsunamis or Jesus is coming. 280 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:01,159 But if they did, I wouldn't wanna spend the rest of my life 281 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,639 in a snuff film dungeon 282 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:06,919 eating gross turnips like a gross mole person like the rest of you! 283 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,480 Hey! 284 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,119 CHARLIE: You are unique. You are special. 285 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,680 You are, uh... enough. 286 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:23,439 You are... enough. 287 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,759 I'm not enough. 288 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,599 You are... not. 289 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,439 This is bullshit. 290 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,919 Sonofabitch, it's bullshit! 291 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,999 This is bullshit! It's bullshit! 292 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,399 (SHOUTS) 293 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,959 Fucking bullshit! 294 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,400 (SERENE MUSIC PLAYS) 295 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:53,879 'Agent of Truth 197', continued. (CHARLIE SHOUTS AND SCREAMS) 296 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:57,279 Who can pinpoint the root cause of Smallwood's fear? 297 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,599 Is it trouble at the TV network? 298 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,359 Or fluoride in the water? (SCREAMING) 299 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,359 Or perhaps she's finally discovered 300 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,959 that identity politics is a construct of oppression, 301 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:14,119 invented by alien reptoids in order to divide humans and conquer them? 302 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,639 All equally likely. 303 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,199 (PANTS) 304 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,359 (GAME BLEEPS) 305 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,199 Great show today, babe! 306 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,839 I've been calling you all day. 307 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,159 I've been busy. 308 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,359 Morning shows do not executive- produce themselves, you know. 309 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,119 Well, speaking of the show. 310 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,359 I was thinking that tomorrow... 311 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,759 You mean Australia Day? 312 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:40,360 I was thinking I could do a piece to camera about invasion. 313 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:46,240 Whoa, Charlie. Come on, invasion? 314 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,559 Hear me out - 315 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:52,559 an on-air editorial about what Australia Day really means. 316 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,119 Since when have you been political? 317 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,519 Well, since I've been Aboriginal. 318 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,919 Isn't that enough? 319 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:02,199 Like, being an Aboriginal person on mainstream television is a statement. 320 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,839 "If you can see it, you can be it." Who said that? 321 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,119 Me. You. 322 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,399 And if you can hear it, you can say it. I have to say something. 323 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,959 You're putting me in a really awkward position here, Charlie. 324 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,839 What, as my fiance or as my boss? 325 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,039 Both, babe. 326 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,159 Four years I've turned up and played along 327 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,839 because you convinced me I should. 328 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,599 This year it changes. 329 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,399 I'm not doing any Australia Day coverage 330 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,399 unless I can do my editorial. 331 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,759 It's either both or neither. 332 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,839 Fine. Don't do either. 333 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,919 Fine! 334 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,839 Wait. Charlie, stop. Don't go. 335 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,559 There's nothing left to talk about. 336 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,759 We don't need to talk exactly. 337 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,159 Why don't you lock that door behind you? 338 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,279 Because you are sexy when you're angry. 339 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,599 How about we have a quickie like we used to? 340 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,479 Have a quickie with yourself, Thomas. 341 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,799 What? Again? (DOOR CLOSES) 342 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,999 LIONEL: A-one, two, three, four. 343 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,799 (SINGS) ♪ Don't you know that the end's a comin' 344 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,879 ♪ It's comin' 345 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,879 ♪ But it all won't be doom and gloom 346 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,719 ♪ No, no, no 347 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,159 ♪ And even though we're gonna end up dyin' 348 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,759 ♪ End up dyin' 349 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,159 ♪ Everyone we know will be dyin' too 350 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,519 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪ 351 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:15,839 Lawyers! MEN: Dead! 352 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:16,840 Cops! Dead! 353 00:17:16,841 --> 00:17:19,079 Freaky politicians! Dead! 354 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,239 Whitefellas, migaloos, gubbas! Dead! 355 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,559 Plumbers! Dead! 356 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,719 Coffee guy! Dead! 357 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,839 Everyone we know! Dead! 358 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,799 ♪ Don't you know that the end's a comin' 359 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,759 ♪ It's comin' 360 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,679 ♪ But it all won't be doom and gloom 361 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,079 ♪ No, no, no, no 362 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,399 ♪ And even though we'll end up dyin' 363 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,639 ♪ Dyin' 364 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,879 ♪ Everyone we know will be dying too 365 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:43,880 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪ 366 00:17:43,881 --> 00:17:45,199 Lawyers! Dead! 367 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,559 Cops! Dead! 368 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,799 Freaky politicians! Dead! 369 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:49,999 My TV show - dead! Dead! 370 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,000 Ex-fiance! Dead! 371 00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:52,399 Hippie mum - dead! 372 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,479 Coconut dad - dead! 373 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:57,080 My dad's stupid white family - dead! (GUITAR PLAYING STOPS) 374 00:17:58,440 --> 00:17:59,919 That's a lot of baggage, sis. 375 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:03,519 ♪ Why can't we all just get along? ♪ 376 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:07,039 And now this moment - dead. Thanks, Fig. 377 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,439 As we discussed, while you were sobbing uncontrollably in your car, 378 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,079 we all came to a compromise. 379 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,279 We'll allow you to stay at Eden 2... 380 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:20,320 Only if you complete the Eden 2 challenge course. 381 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,199 CHARLIE: Wait, that wasn't there an hour ago. 382 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,599 There's just the one thing I forgot to mention, Charlie. 383 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,519 In honour of your nan's wishes, 384 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,479 and to respect Fig as our newest member, 385 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,519 it's either you or Fig. 386 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,960 I don't have to prove anything to any of you. 387 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,799 I'm not doing it. 388 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,640 I am so honoured. I won't let the tribe down. 389 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,239 MONTY: There you are. It's done. 390 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,959 Tomorrow you face your destiny. 391 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,439 Destiny. 392 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,759 Alright, everyone, to bed! 393 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,279 Goodnight. 'Night. 394 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,999 CHARLIE: But it's only 8pm. 395 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,679 Late, I know. 396 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,360 (SNORES) 397 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,199 (MOANS) 398 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,360 (GASPS) 399 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,919 Are you watching me sleep? 400 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,039 I'm just making sure you're OK, sis. 401 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,279 I'm fine. 402 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,760 And I don't need a babysitter. 403 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,919 Uh, can I ask you a question... Jayden? 404 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:23,920 Yeah, OK. 405 00:19:23,921 --> 00:19:25,439 You're not like everyone else here. 406 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,399 You know, you're not, like, a total weirdo. 407 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,799 What are you doing? 408 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,319 The revolution is gonna happen one day and we need solidarity. 409 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,439 It's called self-defence. Self-defence? 410 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:40,559 Yeah. Colonise me once, shame on you. 411 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,840 Colonise me twice, shame on me. 412 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,279 Yeah, whatever. 413 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,839 Just quit watching me sleep, OK? 414 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,160 OK. 415 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,959 (KELLY LAUGHS) 416 00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,279 (KELLY MOANS AND GROWLS) (LIONEL SNORTS) 417 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,759 Hey! Excuse me? 418 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,799 Whoa. Nothing below the waist. 419 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,519 OK, swear to God. God, I swear, God. 420 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:06,919 What are you doing? 421 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,399 Saving ourselves for marriage. No, not that. 422 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:14,040 Kelly and I, we have lived very, very, very sinful lives. 423 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,439 Charlie, have you heard the good word 424 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,439 of our Lord Saviour Jesus Christ? 425 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:20,759 That's not my thing. 426 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,559 It wasn't really our thing until we hit rock bottom. 427 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:24,839 I was actually rock top. 428 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,079 We were each at our lowest ebb, 429 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:32,439 drenched in sweat and bodily fluids and... 430 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,039 That's when Jesus came. 431 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,799 Hard. Ohhh! 432 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,479 We knew we needed to change our way of life, 433 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,719 so we chose to be reborn. 434 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,319 As virgins. Mmm. 435 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,039 Waiting to relose our virginities after marriage. 436 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,559 So that it can be special. (LAUGHS) 437 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,439 Again. For the first time. Again. 438 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,799 And again. And again. 439 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,959 And again. So you two have never... 440 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,079 With each other? No. No, no, no, no, no. 441 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,199 Huh! 442 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,800 OK. Well, uh, good luck with that. 443 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,519 In the meantime, please stop guarding me as I sleep. 444 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,439 I know what you're doing. 445 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,840 (KELLY AND LIONEL MUMBLE) 446 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,599 Hey! (GASPS) 447 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,479 Sorry. Oh, my God. OK, enough! 448 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,479 I'm an unfit millennial with no core strength. 449 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,319 I'm not going to do anything. 450 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,839 Girl boss, I found your phone. 451 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,639 Wait, you did? Yeah. 452 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,599 It took me a few hours... in the dark. 453 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,519 And I cut myself and I think it's infected, 454 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,039 but I found your phone. 455 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,320 OK, I don't need to hear your life story. Give me. 456 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,279 Great. The battery's dead. 457 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,479 You could've at least charged it, Fig. 458 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,640 Sorry. 459 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,919 'Night. 460 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,400 This is so annoying. 461 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,600 OK. 462 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,960 (KEYS JANGLE, ENGINE STARTS) 463 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,080 (MULTIPLE BEEPS) 464 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,119 VOICEMAIL: Charlie. It's Thomas. 465 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:11,239 Listen, you need to turn yourself in to the police right now. 466 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,640 (GASPS) They're gonna find... 467 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,560 (TURNS ENGINE OFF) 468 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,440 (BIRDSONG) 469 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,959 (FIG GRUNTS) 470 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,759 I knew she didn't have the guts. 471 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,479 If it's alright with you guys, I still want to run the course. 472 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,999 I reckon I can beat Guy's record. 473 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,279 You think you've got the big googalas, huh? 474 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,719 I think I've got normal testicles but a positive attitude. 475 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:43,959 That's not enough. 476 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,080 Hey! Look! 477 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,560 What the fuck is she wearing? 478 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:55,479 (PANTS) 479 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,999 What are you all looking at? 480 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,999 You never seen a well-dressed, depressed Aboriginal woman 481 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,559 who's come to prove herself 482 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,599 to a bunch of weirdos she doesn't even respect 483 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,679 and run that rickety lawsuit waiting to happen 484 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,039 just because she has nowhere else to go?! 485 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,279 Yeah. Yeah. 486 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,679 Yeah! Yeah. 487 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,159 OK. 488 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,719 Right. 489 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,279 Now, imagine this. 490 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,239 The world's ended. 491 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:27,999 You're surrounded by starving gubbas who wanna eat your precious meats. 492 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:34,080 You need to run through the decaying remains of white civilisation. 493 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,519 Fig, you first. You ready? 494 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:38,879 So ready! 495 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,679 Go. (BLOWS) 496 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,879 SONG: ♪ Let's fly 497 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:49,600 ♪ I will see you on the other side 498 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:56,440 ♪ I am your night, girl, rip my heart out 499 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:03,360 ♪ Darkness falling Yet another night 500 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,920 ♪ Come on, Lost Boys, let's stay alive... ♪ 501 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,719 Yo! Oh! 502 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,519 A new world record! Yeah! 503 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,160 Whatever! Time doesn't count. 504 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,439 Charlie, you're next. 505 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,439 You ready? Set. Go! 506 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,399 (SHOUTS) (BLOWS) 507 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,119 Go, Charlie! 508 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,120 (DETERMINED MUSIC) 509 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,319 Ohh! (MUSIC STOPS) 510 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,800 Ugh! Fudge. 511 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:42,240 Ow. 512 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,560 OK, not doing that. 513 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,719 Screw you. You're dead! 514 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,399 (KOOKABURRAS LAUGH) 515 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,639 (GROANS) 516 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:54,999 (SEESAW CREAKS) 517 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,400 Fuck! 518 00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,680 OK. 519 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,079 OK. 520 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,080 Ow. 521 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,440 (GROANS) Yeah. 522 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,400 Over. 523 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,520 (STRAINS) Under. 524 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:19,800 (GRUNTS) 525 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,319 (PANTS) 526 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:24,479 Oh! 527 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,160 Yeah. 528 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,719 Didn't... didn't think I could make it, huh? 529 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,119 Fig, Charlie, give them a moment. 530 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:34,319 (ALL WHISPER) 531 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,639 OK, given that you both completed the course, 532 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,319 we have concluded... it's a tie. 533 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,639 And in the event of a tie, 534 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,360 we feel that we have the final say. 535 00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:49,399 We want Charlie to stay. Yeah! 536 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,319 Wait, what? Yeah. Wait, what? 537 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,800 Guys, I've tried so hard to fit in. Yeah? 538 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,959 Please don't kick me out. Look, I don't even need a bed. 539 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,880 I can just sleep on, you know, the cold concrete floor of the bunker. 540 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,199 Lionel, you know you're my number one favourite Aboriginal. 541 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,039 I'm not Aboriginal. I'm Sri Lankan. 542 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,999 Really? Does Kelly know? Of course I know. 543 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,839 Jayden, mate, I am just like you. 544 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,119 I'm Irish! We're the blacks of Europe! 545 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:19,999 No, you're white and I'm black. And what you just said is problematic. 546 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,279 Listen, Fig, if this was a zombie apocalypse 547 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,759 and you were bit, you'd want a mercy kill, yeah? 548 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,999 Well, I'm gonna give it to you. 549 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,839 You're annoying and we hate you. 550 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,519 Is that true? Yeah. 551 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,159 Mm-hm. 552 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,759 Alright. 553 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,840 (SAD MUSIC) 554 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,879 (THWACK!) (FIG SCREAMS) 555 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:56,919 Ah, that's where my bear trap is! Who's hungry? 556 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,039 Oh, yeah. I'm starving. I am. 557 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,680 FIG: I'm OK. I'm OK. 558 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:05,719 CHARLIE: I miss Nan. 559 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,879 Can't believe she kept she was a prepper from me. 560 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,639 We all have our secrets. 561 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,800 We're all trying to survive something, Charlie. 562 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,919 Why are you being so nice to me? 563 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:22,039 Well, Eden was built on the idea of rebuilding from the ashes. 564 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,960 It's our motto. Patent pending. 565 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,999 Monty, I'm not like you. 566 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,439 Any of you. 567 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,480 I'm just staying here until... 568 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,880 ..until I don't need to. 569 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,599 SONG: ♪ There's a new world coming... ♪ 570 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,600 (WOMAN LAUGHS) 571 00:27:44,601 --> 00:27:48,959 ♪ And it's just around the bend 572 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:53,439 ♪ There's a new world coming 573 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:57,879 ♪ This one's coming to an end... ♪ 574 00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,119 THOMAS: Charlie! 575 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:00,559 Can we talk? 576 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,519 Yeah, sure. 577 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:06,639 Look, I should never have put you in a position 578 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,799 where you felt like you had to decide 579 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,119 between Australia Day and your identity. 580 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:14,599 So I just want to say I'm... I'm sorry. 581 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:19,759 Oh! Oh, wow. Uh, thank you, Thomas. 582 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,439 I am so excited to do the editorial. 583 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,439 I've got all these ideas... Oh, babe, no. 584 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,399 You... you can't do the editorial. 585 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,239 It's too... it's too divisive. 586 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,759 But Sophie's gonna be a good ally 587 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,959 and she'll just host the whole show by herself. 588 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,839 So it's fine. It's fine. 589 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,319 What? 590 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,279 Actually, it was Sophie who suggested 591 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,600 that I... I should apologise. 592 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,239 Bianca Vita Extrait de Parfum. 593 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,560 Hmm? What? 594 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,239 I said I'll do it. 595 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,879 You'll do what? 596 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,999 I'll do the Australia Day show. No editorial at all. 597 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,639 You will? Really? Yeah. 598 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,599 I mean, what could possibly go wrong? 599 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:05,359 (LAUGHS) That's my girl. Yes! 600 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:09,439 ♪ Yes, a new world's coming... ♪ (SCREAMING AND SHOUTING) 601 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:13,559 ♪ The one we've had visions of... ♪ 602 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,519 THOMAS: Charlie, what have you done?! 603 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,799 Oh, babe. Someone call the police! 604 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,759 ♪ Coming in love... ♪ 605 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,599 Charlie! 606 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:22,959 Oh, my God! Everything's on fire! 607 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,199 ♪ Coming in love 608 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,399 ♪ A new world's coming 609 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:27,999 ♪ Coming in love 610 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,719 ♪ A new world's coming 611 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,279 ♪ Coming in love 612 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,239 ♪ A new world's coming 613 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,600 ♪ Coming in love... ♪ 40701

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