Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ANNOUNCER: And now, DreamWorks' "The Penguins of Madagascar."

[THEME MUSIC]

-Cute and cuddly, boys!

-Yes!

Closing time, let's go.

Come on, move it or lose it.

Whoops, lost it.

-Ah, closing time.

Are there two sweeter words known to man or beast?

-Puppy love.

-Ka-- boom?

Plutonium fuel DNA mutating nature

abominating monster maker.

-Uh--

-The first word was hyphenated.

-Yeah, great.

All good.

But I'm sticking with--

CHILD: My dolly!

-Skipper?

-That wasn't me.

It was--

-I lost my dolly!

Help!

-Hot moulded plastic, dolly down!

Rescue operation is go, go, go!

Target acquired.

[GASP]

-My dolly!

-Kowalski, strike this one from the skipper's log.

-And her name is Princess Pony Princess.

And her favourite food is sparkle glitter.

-Glitter.

Great!

And we are going to do all we can

to bring princess home from the sewer, OK?

-Come on, sweetheart.

-Ugh!

Lost toy file, and-- welp, I've done all I can do.

-No little girl will shed a tear on my watch.

-Well, the chimps can crack the girl's address,

but that dolly could be anywhere in the 6,000 miles

of the New York City sewer system.

-So, we'll have to split up.

-Let's see.

That's 1,500 miles of sewer each.

-Wow.

That is a lot of sewer.

-What about replacement dolly?

-We'd need an exact duplicate, and where

would we even find it?

[ROMANTIC SINGING]

-What?

-Perfect match!

All we need is a dress.

-I'll get my sewing kit.

-I'll get the glitter glue.

[INTIMIDATING MUMBLES]

-Oh, hey, it's your call, compadre.

Just try not to think about that weepy

little miss with the empty place in her heart

where her dolly used to live.

-Way to go, Rico!

[GROAN]

[SNIFFLING]

-It'll be OK, Rico.

It's not like my gran always told me-- you do good deeds,

and good comes back to you.

-Wait!

-Hello?

Who's-- Princess Pony Princess!

Mum, mum!

She came back!

Mum!

ALL: Aw!

-Remember, Rico, good things always come back around.

-Yo, Sally, you seeing this?

Hey, what's the number for animal control?

-Any warm fuzzy feelings yet?

-Uh-uh.

-Well, the universe does still owe you one.

I'm sure any minute now.

-Sardines!

-Oh, econo-sized.

-See?

Good things do come around.

-Huh?

Uh-oh.

-What in the name of pickled schnauzers?

-She's beautiful.

[MOTOR REVVING]

-Kowalski!

-Got a call on a 415-P-- disturbance, penguins involved.

Now, how'd I know it'd be you punks?

-It's Officer X!

-A deranged animal control super-cop.

-You birds are a long way from the zoo.

That's awfully unsafe, considering what time it is.

-I don't know, 7:30?

Maybe?

-Payback time.

-Oh, payback!

That makes much more--

-Zoo's not good enough, huh?

Well, guess what.

Out here, you're stray animals, and that means you mine.

-Kaboom?

-Now more than ever.

-You think you can play me?

You're penguins.

You don't even have brains enough to fly.

-No.

But we sure know how to fall.

-No!

[MUMBLING]

-Yes, I know what I said about giving up your dolly.

[MUMBLING]

-OK, Officer X was a nasty surprise!

-[MUMBLING]

-And yes, the fall was a bit rough on the bum.

-[MUMBLING]

-But we got away from him!

I mean, that's a good thing, right?

-Not yet.

You heard the man.

As long as we're outside the zoo,

we're considered stray animals.

-I've never felt so filthy.

-We're still seven blocks from home,

but at least we've got a solid head start on--

[BEEPING]

-Kowalski, analysis on that glow.

-It appears Officer X's van has laser-drilling capabilities.

-So, we should move then?

-Oh, most definitely.

-Kowalski, give me an exit strategy.

-Up ahead, topside tunnel.

We should be safe up here, Skipper.

There's no way he'll fit through--

[REVVING]

So wild, so free.

But I know I could tame her.

-We'll never make it hope with that steel

psycho-moblile on our tails.

Boys, we're taking that van out.

-[GASPS]

-No, you're right.

The van must-- go.

I need a minute.

-Giving up, huh?

That's why penguins are from Antarctica.

Can't take the heat.

-Swing team, deploy.

-Ole!

-You see that, Rico?

The way you dodged that lunatic, the universe--

-You all right, amigo?

-[GROANS]

-Perhaps the universe blinked.

-I loved that van.

-Yes, we all loved the van.

You think you're the only one hurting?

-Let it go, Kowalski.

-Come on, we'll lose him in the park.

-I'll never leave the zoo again.

Except maybe for snow cones.

-Delinquent penguins, in the name of the Metropolitan

Sub-Bureau of Animal Control and [INAUDIBLE] Regulation,

you shall not pass.

-Kowalski, tell me you've got a really sweet option.

-Frontal approach cut-off, I suggest

a brown river sneak-around.

-Really?

Interesting choice.

On me, go.

-Huh?

-Keep it moving, boys.

That maniac can't be too far behind us.

Sweet Dixie Dreidels!

How much are they paying this guy?

-There's no escaping justice, punks.

Like mother always said, whatever you do,

it always comes back around.

[MUMBLING]

-Skipper, those pipes.

I believe they're sewage feed lines.

-And they're pointed right at Officer X.

-Well, that's a lucky break.

-Uh-huh.

[MUMBLES]

-You're right, Rico.

It is the universe.

Go for it.

-Eat sewage, chump.

-[MUMBLES]

-(LAUGHING) Got ya.

X to the doghouse.

Prep a cage for four outlaw birdies.

-I don't believe it.

-Curse you, universe!

-Private, knock off the whistling.

I'm trying to curse the universe.

-It's not me, Skipper.

It's--

-Skipper, it's that sewer line.

Something's blocking it.

Oh, mama, it's gonna blow.

-Oh my.

-That ain't gonna come out at the cleaners.

-Rico, that was it.

Your payback.

I knew it.

The universe was just waiting for the right moment.

-Correction, private.

It was waiting for the right girl.

-The lost dolly.

It was blocking the pipe.

-Rico, I believe this pretty lady is now yours.

-It's the penguins, I tell you.

The penguins!

REPORTER: The crazed officer was arrested after a vandalism

spree over several city blocks last night.

-You see, Private?

Once you let the universe know who's boss,

things just work out.

-[ROMANTIC SINGING]

-Maurice, I am ready to shake my maker of money.

Hit it!

-There's nothing to hit.

-My boomy-box, where is it?

-Mm.

Shrub.

Good eats.

My eats!

-Hey yo, Bing, isn't there usually

a tyre swing on there or something?

[CHATTER]

-Please, one at a time.

-Someone swiped my bale of hay.

-And somebody nicked our entire collection

of Italian opera CDs.

-And someone took my one-of-a-kind beach ball.

Yeah, it was, um-- it was white and blue and red.

And it had this little valve-y thing on it.

Mine was special.

One of a bind.

-So, Mr. Penguins, when are you going

to be dispensing the red-hot justice?

There is something odder about the otter.

-Yeah, I'm right here, OK?

-Let's not rush to judgement .

My team will conduct a careful and thorough investigation.

Then when all the facts are in--

-[MUMBLES]

-Someone stole our TV?

-Then we're going to nail this thief to the wall.

-Ha, ha!

Ooh la la!

-Your sick wave of crime ends here.

-Yes.

It would appears that way.

-But when it comes to the Archer,

appearances can be deceiving.

-He's amazing.

-Stow that gush, Private.

-A thousand pardons, monsieurs.

-End of the line, nocturnal mammal.

Hey!

-Wow.

-Remind me to add that move to our roster.

-Owie!

-We can do this the easy way, or we can do this--

oh, have the decency to let me finish.

-Ah, you are a worthy adversary, monsieur.

But now, I must bid you adieu.

-You can keep your doo.

You're not going anywhere.

-Admit it, raccoon.

You're the thief who's been taking our stuff.

-Ah, oui.

This I admit.

-That was easy.

-But don't you want to know why I did it?

-Sure, why not?

I guess.

-You zoo animals have everything you need.

But beyond these walls, life is much harder.

There are no climate-controlled habitats, no feeding times,

no bouncy balls from the beach.

-Oh, dear.

-I, the Archer, have taken it upon myself

to right this wrong.

-By stealing our material goods?

-I give to those who have nothing-- possum families

with nowhere to live, old pigeons who can no longer fly,

orphan baby chipmunks with no one to feed them.

[SOBBING]

-Orphan baby chipmunks?

-[CRYING]

-So, you help others?

-Yes.

Maybe it is a crime, but I ask you,

which is the greater injustice?

-Skipper, the Archer's not a dastardly villain.

He's a rakish, swashbuckling hero,

and we've got to help him.

-Agreed.

Commence Operation Helping Hand.

-What?

Oh, peanuts for the less fortunate?

Sure.

-Oh, yes, yes.

Please take some bananas for those poor, unfortunate souls.

And mangoes too.

There must be something more we can do.

Fleas.

Capital idea, Phil.

-They have less than me?

And I'm barely scraping by!

Maurice, give to this penguin all of Mort's food.

And Mort too.

-I'm ever-so-lightly used.

-The Archer, please accept these gifts

on behalf of the animals at the zoo.

-Skipper, you have done me a-- how do you say-- a solid.

I do not know how to thank you.

-Next time, a hearty handshake would be just dandy.

-Farewell, my friends.

Farewell!

-Wow.

Just, you know, wow.

I mean, the Archer's a genuine role model-- someone

a young person like me can look up to.

A real hero.

-Now, Private, it's not like you don't

have other heroes in your life.

-True.

But Kowalski doesn't have the Archer's panache.

-It does hurt!

Intriguing.

-Uh-huh.

-Still, the Archer, he does so much for those who need it.

SKIPPER: Private, what are you--

Your butterscotch lolly?

-I'm going to give this lolly to the Archer.

-You're mad!

Easy, Private, let's not do anything we'll regret here.

-You've been saving that lolly for a special occasion.

-Yes.

How I've dreamed of its rich butterscotch-iness.

But the Archer risks his life for those less fortunate.

This is the least I can do.

-You've got a good heart, Private.

Let's go find your hero.

-Great.

Do you smell bacon?

-Rico!

-Excuse me, we're looking for the Archer,

the hero of Central Park.

He steels from the zoo and gives to the zoo-less.

And then he fires an arrow in the air

and swings away to his next adventure.

-We've got a zoo?

-Well, yes.

-That's where we're from.

-Or did you believe penguins are indigenous to the New York

area?

-I don't know.

Are they?

-No.

-Then how'd you get here?

-We're from the zoo.

-Yeah, I just heard we got one of those.

I wonder if they got gibbons there.

I always wanted to meet a--

-We're looking for a raccoon.

-The zoos got raccoons?

-No.

-That's a shame.

-We're wasting our time here.

-Of course, if you wanted to see a raccoon,

you could always go see Archie.

-Archie?

-Yeah, Archie.

That guy's a lousy backstabbing .

Cheat he's my best friend.

ARCHIE: What do you think you're doing, huh?

You stinking, no-good--

-Someone's in there with the Archer.

-And he doesn't sound friendly.

ARCHIE: Come on, is that your best shot?

Oh, you are so going down.

-Get ready, men.

We're going in.

[BELL RINGING]

ARCHIE: Ha, ha, oh, you are pathetic.

I could beat you with my eyes-- closed?

-Hey, Archie, did you know we have a zoo?

-Oh-ho!

Skipper, mon ami.

I-- I--

-Don't moan at me, me.

You took advantage of our good nature.

-And the generosity of all the zoo animals.

-Hey, whoa, guys-- come on.

A fellow's gotta make a living, right?

Right?

-(GASPING) Even your charming French accent was a lie!

How could you?

-Yeah, about that, well, you see, I-- look out,

leopard seal.

Hit the deck!

-Blast!

He duped us.

-And we fell for it like a bunch of first-year hatchlings.

-Popcorn!

-He's getting away.

-Oh, no, he isn't.

-OK, all right, OK.

Look, before you beat me silly, let me ask you-- leopard seal!

-No dice, Archie.

You're not fooling us again.

-You are a dirty, dirty liar.

And your pants are on fire.

-Whoa.

-And you jump up and touch a telephone wire.

That's what a dirty liar you are.

-Stand down, Private.

We'll handle this.

-Thanks.

Some of those things he said were really hurtful.

-Mister, you're just entering a world of hurt.

Kowalski, hurt options.

-The Balkan Tunnel Snap.

-Possibly.

Go on.

-The Spanish Wet Willy.

-Intriguing.

-The Croatian Purple Nurple.

-Bingo.

Gentlemen, we have a winner.

Rico, do the honours.

-[CHUCKLES]

-No.

No, no.

Stay back.

Stay back!

-Rest easy, Private.

That raccoon will never pose as a swashbuckling French hero

ever again.

-That's good, Skipper.

But still, it was nice to think there

was a real hero out there.

It's a shame to let that go.

-You know, Private.

Maybe we don't have to.

-Oh-ho, my friends.

There is no need to scrounge for scraps.

-Wow!

Thanks.

-Think nothing of it.

It's all in a day's work for the Archer!

Of course, there is a small finder's fee.

-Heroes don't charge for delivery.

-Nice aim, Private.

-Thanks, Skipper.

Now move, you.

We're going to feed bread crumbs to the ducks next.

-All right, all right. i'm moving.

[THEME MUSIC]